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The Relationship Blueprint: Unlock Your Power of Connection
Colleen is a student of Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt who created the Imago Theory and have brought this work to over 50 countries around the world. She is profoundly influenced by this belief shared by Dr. Harville Hendrix. He said, "We are born in relationship, wounded in relationship and healed in relationship."
What are you struggling with today? Colleen believes that almost any problem we have began with a broken or unhealed relationship. The anxiety or deep sadness we feel often began with unresolved issues in our relationships with our parents, partner, family or friends. When we have unmet needs we are programed to get those needs met. When we don't get what we need we protest by protecting ourselves. this often looks like defensive, critical, demanding behaviors. these behaviors are most often ineffective. As a result we may develop unhealthy relationship with food, sex, gambling our or a substance.
Colleen invites world renown relationship specialists from all over the world to help her guests explore their own relationships and see their problems through a relational lens. She will help us explore how to create intimacy to deepen our connections. Her listeners will gain insights to create a more joyful life.
Colleen is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of South Carolina, a certified, Advanced Imago Clinical therapist, a clinical instructor for the Imago International Trading Institute while maintaining her clinical practice in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
Thank you for joining Colleen today. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. Join her next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.
Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!
The Relationship Blueprint: Unlock Your Power of Connection
Episode 11: Want better Communication? Let's Learn the Art of Mirroring and Appreciations
In this conversation, Colleen Kowal and Rebecca explore the intricacies of communication in relationships, especially during the holiday season. They discuss the importance of setting intentions, understanding perceptions, and practicing effective communication to foster deeper connections. The dialogue emphasizes gratitude and appreciation as vital components in nurturing relationships, while also addressing the challenges of genuine communication. The episode concludes with a commitment to practice these principles in everyday interactions, highlighting the transformative power of a positive mindset in relationships.
Unlock the secrets to nurturing your relationships with the communication strategies shared in this episode. Join us as we explore the nuances of intentions versus impact with our insightful guest, Rebecca. Together, we tackle the complexities of navigating family gatherings during the holiday season, offering actionable advice on active listening and feedback to help you connect more deeply with your loved ones.
Discover how intention and phrasing play crucial roles in preventing conflicts and misunderstandings, which often arise from seemingly innocent exchanges. We share personal anecdotes to highlight the importance of understanding each other's backgrounds and sensitivities. Learn how to implement proactive communication techniques to prevent the "thousand little cuts" that can strain relationships over time. By mastering these skills, you'll be better equipped to maintain harmony and satisfaction in your interactions.
As we wrap up, we emphasize the transformative power of gratitude and authentic connection. Explore practical exercises designed to enhance your relationships, such as expressing sincere appreciation to those around you. By focusing on positivity and managing expectations, you can foster a sense of agency in your interactions and improve your well-being. Let this episode inspire you to embrace integrity and conscious communication, ensuring your relationships flourish not just during the holidays, but all year round.
Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.
Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!
Hello Rebecca. Nice to be doing this again together. It was just a few days ago that we were in my house, you know, doing this work together and it's nice to see you on the Zoom call, but it's more fun to be with you.
Speaker 2:It was definitely more fun, for sure, and I hope we get to do that again, and I'm just really glad that we're going to pick up and continue our relationship discussion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like I was listening to our last episode and I thought, you know, this is all such a journey and there's so much to say. I mean, we both have had the clinical training and the advanced trainings and other really powerful experiences with this work, and so I really my hope today is for our listeners to leave with a couple good ideas to try that feel safe and that they can have not guaranteed success, but hopefully be able to take something home to their partner, their mom, whoever they live with, and experiment a little and maybe even let their partner know that they're experimenting a little, because they really want a good connection and they want to learn to communicate more effectively and they're not asking their partner to do anything, they're just doing it themselves and asking for permission. Can I learn with you how to be a better listener?
Speaker 2:You know I love that I love that and you know if anyone practices and I bet people will especially going into the holiday if they get a chance you know we've got a whole big month of holidays coming up and you know it's really such a good thing as you're saying this, coco that you find out some things are quite simple to do and then you find out, my gosh, that's so much harder than I thought.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And what I'm thinking about as you're saying this. I'm thinking, okay, holidays are here, I have a holiday, I'm going to be with family and we'll be together four days, and I'm thinking about how we have to remember, you know that our reactivity is going to maybe get in the way of our intentions, and I think you know we talk about intentions and impact and we want our intentions. If my intention is to have a better connection with you this holiday, maybe we haven't had a good connection, but how do I make that happen? Because just because I have the good intentions doesn't mean that it's going to land that way for the other person.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely, as you're saying that just because I am trying to be nice or I'm trying to be nice, doesn't mean you perceive me as being nice or that you perceive me as a good listener and we hear couples say this all the time. Well, that's not what I meant or that's not what you know, but it came across that way to the other, and this is one of the big shifts in this relationship work that we were talking about last time. There's two of us now, not just me with my thoughts, my feelings, my hopes, my reactions. Now there's two of us who are so different. Now there's two of us who are so different and I've had to learn myself to stop and say, well, I really like that, did you like that?
Speaker 1:I'm still training myself to do that. Rebecca, could you tell us more about that? What did you used to say before you said I like that. I wonder if you like that. You used to say before you said I like that. I wonder if you like that. What was your natural way of communicating something like that that turned out not so well?
Speaker 2:Well, I can give an easy example, okay, but you know, of course, then when there's an argument, it would be something like I didn't say that, just sure, I didn't say that. And actually my partner heard that, and we both have couples all the time arguing about that. Rather than if I heard it, let's go with what I heard, and then when it's my turn, I can either correct or add or change. If I did say that, what I really meant to say was, rather than go back and forth I never said it, I never did. But even on a smaller note, you know, and you and I were doing this when I was there with you like oh, I can't stand the humidity. I'm saying and like, oh, humidity is terrible. And you're like I like it. And I'm making this blanket statement, like this southern humidity is just awful, it's just too awful. And you're like well, I like it, rather than maybe I need to learn to say oh, it's so hard for me. I don't do well with humidity, what about?
Speaker 1:you. I see that's a good example. You know I didn't take it that way because I've met human living here 40 years. I've met so many people who have just moved here and it's a really hard thing for them to get used to and it's a long season. So there's a good example of me not hearing it like you know, you don't like it, I do. It didn't have any negative impact on me, but that is also because of my history and so if I don't have a sensitivity to being told how things are and feel, maybe lectured to, or then I might really react to that right, I tell my clients this story and I think they're probably sick of it. But it's such a good example because Kevin and I this is before Kevin was trained in this work I was said to him one day I was paying the bills and I said you know, did you pay the electric bill?
Speaker 1:Because he was going to handle that and he got so upset with me and I'm thinking they said it nicely. I asked a simple question and I'm confused, right, but I had the training to sort of go to myself and think, wow, my intention was to just ask a question. My impact was not good. So then I had to come back to me instead of say to him I asked you just a stupid question, can you just answer it Right? That would have been my old way, like it's just a simple answer yes, no, what do you want to do? And then those little tiny conversations turned into big things right.
Speaker 2:For you, it was a simple question. For him it was not.
Speaker 1:And when he grew up with a critical parent, who he tells the story he'd be mowing the front yard. His mother would call him. She was Australian and pretty, pretty strong woman, grew up on the outback and she would yell to him you know, in the middle of mowing the lawn have you mowed the back? And he had just started the front. So he has this huge history with hearing criticism when it even was never deserved, and so I had to learn like wow.
Speaker 1:So when I see that reaction, you know we use the zero negativity where I we can get into that another time maybe, but we I just, you know, I I encouraged him to say ouch. But I said ouch because I really didn't know I. He reacted that way and I said can you tell me how I hurt you? What did I say? That was upsetting. And then he was able to tell me. And then we were like that's what you heard. When you heard me ask the question, you thought I doubted you. You thought I was saying you didn't follow through. I was second guessing your motives, like all that stuff happens so quick in our heads.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, as you're saying, that I just really want to add this dynamic of asking questions because here it's a perfect example that you know Kevin heard the question as a criticism like have you not, have you mowed? It's like you should have already been able to mow, and that was his experience. I had that kind of experience in my family, like no one was really interested if I had mowed the lawn or not. They're saying I should have already mowed it, have you mowed the lawn? And it happens with our couples and many of us not always, but many of us women ask a lot of questions and often our partners are on alert and I've had to train myself and my couples to say and the reason I'm asking is oh, that's a great suggestion.
Speaker 1:Rebecca, I want to ask you about the. Did you pay the electric bill? Because I didn't pay it and I'm just trying to check it off my list.
Speaker 1:You know something to that. So there's really like you're like preventing the argument and some people might say, oh, that's too much thinking. Just ask him the damn question. If he can't answer that, then like grow up. Well, I guess you could do that. But what is the cost to the relationship? When we talked about that space between the couple who are trying to connect, and we have that, the cuts we talked about you know, marriages and relationships don't end or become, I guess, dissatisfying because of the one big thing.
Speaker 1:There had to be the thousand little cuts, and that would be one. You know how? What kind of energy do you want to put in to guarantee a more satisfying relationship so you can say I shouldn't have to do that.
Speaker 2:Okay, you shouldn't have to, I don't know they know if they think about it, our question's okay, we're fine with it, or questions about this, and they also know, you know, and they'll feel it in the relationship Like I don't there's something kind of like you know, a little anxiety producing about these questions and sometimes it's very difficult to know that I'm anxious. So I'm going to start asking questions and I'm going to have to learn to say you know, I'm worried, I'm anxious about, you know, the bills this month, so I'm wondering.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because what you're saying about that? Because if I could have owned my anxiety, which is a real thing, then it really doesn't make it about him, it makes it about me, then it really doesn't make it about him, it makes it about me, right.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah. And of course you know partners, sometimes by the time they're in a lot of conflict, they don't feel this way. You know our partners want to be our heroes and heroines. They want to please us.
Speaker 1:Because that's how we started out. Remember when we thought you were the best person that ever came into my life. I felt whole with you. I trusted you completely. We stayed up all night talking. We had sex. All the time. It was like you and me against the world. We kind of went into our cocoon in this very attraction phase and then, you know, as we talked about in the last episode, when those chemicals go away and we start to be in the real relationship without any of the blinders on, yes, it's more challenging.
Speaker 1:I was just reading something that I think is important to in the topic of our conversation. The percentage of people who truly hear and understand what is being said can vary depending upon factors like speakers' clarity, listeners' focus and the communication context. Research indicates that people retain only 20-50% of what they hear in a typical conversation, and this means that even in face-to-face interaction, much of the spoken message is lost or misunderstood, absolutely yeah. So how many times? You know? I know that you've had a million.
Speaker 1:I don't even really have to ask this question, but you know couples come into the office and we had a horrible week. You know. All he did, you know, was fight with me. He picked fights with me. It's what she heard. I didn't pick a fight with you, remember, you did this first. And then they get into that. You know the blame game of like who did what first and who said what before the other one, and you know it's exhausting and so I don't let my couples do that. You know we talk about they don't do eyewitness testimony anymore because it's so unreliable in a court case. And now you two are going to come in here and decide and try to convince me who you think I'm the referee to tell you which one of you is right. You know and I don't know, because you don't really know. You're not sure if I, really, if I, unless we had a tape of the conversation, statistically it's very likely that you didn't really hear me and I didn't hear you Right.
Speaker 2:You know, as you're saying, that I mean it's a big issue with couples and that phrase nobody cares what you know until they know you care.
Speaker 2:And so we are kind of in the glorious work of helping couples care, even when they disagree.
Speaker 2:It's not such a big secret that you actually are going to end up marrying someone who actually has a very different perspective on life than you, even if it doesn't seem that way in the beginning. And you know that we're going to help our couples and I think this is one thing that Imago therapy does very well. We help our couples talk about what's working well before they talk about where maybe repair or deeper understanding needs to happen, where maybe repair or deeper understanding needs to happen. And we help our couples every time and we've trained ourselves although we still have to keep working on it to start with what's working well, to share that with each other and to give you know appreciation and to say that because it just is a bonding experience. Say that because it just is a bonding experience so they can bring more of their curiosity, less reactivity, to that situation that you're speaking of, which we all have. We all have that part where we do disagree because we see it so differently. It helps so much to talk about what's working well first.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. I really want to highlight that for our listeners this idea that our brains are wired to be well. They're wired to be connected, which is why we feel so sad and distracted when we're not connected to our partner. When we're living in the same space and this energy between us is like you could cut it with a knife. It's such an unhappy place to be. But what you're saying? As much as the brain is wired to connect, it's also wired to problem solve, and we tend to focus on the negative because we want to solve the problem, not because we're trying to create a problem. So, in that, I think that what you're highlighting is probably a great tool where we can pause here and give our listeners something that they can do right away and see how it works. It's such a great way to read, great idea, right? Is it okay if we do that? Yeah, let's do that, okay.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to pretend that I knew we are a couple, okay, and I am just learning this skill. You don't know anything about it. You're my spouse, but you don't know anything about this whole thing and maybe we've been having a hard time. So I might say hey, rebecca, do you have like 10 minutes, to sit with me for a minute. I want to do something to appreciate you, well, okay, well, I think that's important to ask the question, not, will you just sit down with me a few minutes? I want to talk because that puts the person right on defense. They may say I don't have time right now, but if I tell you, hey, rebecca, I want to, I want to just tell you how much I appreciate you. Do you have a few minutes to sit with me? Chances are pretty high they're going to sit down, absolutely Well. I'm going to pretend we're sitting down. You and I are having this dialogue. I want to appreciate. What I want to appreciate about you today is your willingness to be my teacher and my friend and be so vulnerable.
Speaker 2:So are we going to show them right now?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't think they're ready for that part, because I think this might just be enough and you could say to your partner do you want to tell me what you think I heard? Can you take this in?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you like that. I've been a good friend and colleague and teacher and that you're so vulnerable with me and you like that. I'm also so vulnerable.
Speaker 1:And when you're vulnerable with me, I feel deeply connected to you.
Speaker 2:I'm going to mirror that back, okay, and when I'm vulnerable, you feel deeply connected to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and when we're not connected, I just I'm sad because I miss how we were.
Speaker 2:I just I'm sad because I miss how we were and when we're not that way. You're sad because you miss that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do miss that about us. I miss the us, the we. I love that, miss the us and the we. Well, thank you for taking this time to listen to me today, and I really want more connection with you and I'm trying to learn how to communicate better, and this was my homework.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you for saying nice things to me and helping me. Sometimes it's a little uncomfortable to hear good things, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, we're so used to just, you know, did you get the mail? You know, walk the dog, did you feed the dog? You know, it's just a lot of just not even negative things, but it's very transactional, and so I love taking this time and learning to do this for you what I want you. Well, maybe you tell them, rebecca, the language I'm using, like I want to do this for you. How do you think that's different from how we normally communicate as couples?
Speaker 2:Yeah, how is that different than we normally communicate, Gosh, you know, I probably need to think about that. But one thing that does come up as you say, that is how actually often it's really hard for couples to learn to hear good things, and there's a lot of reasons for that. We probably won't go into that in this podcast today, but so what couples will normally do and I notice even a tendency but to hear nice things about myself sometimes makes me feel a little vulnerable. Oh my gosh, somebody is saying something nice about me. Oh, I have to say something nice back. Oh yeah, oh well, you're like that too, or no? I didn't. I didn't really do that good a job. We have learned, many of us, to deflect a compliment.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And humor to deflect, right To minimize it. You know, deflect with humor. Oh yeah, I'm such a great guy, I'm so perfect, you know.
Speaker 1:But I think when you hear I mean, what you're bringing up is so important because here you're going to go home and try something and it's new for you and you may have a lot of anxiety about it, your partner may not receive it the way that Rebecca did, because we're doing a role play, right, so it is different with your partner. But I think that what I was trying to communicate is, when we use language like I want to be better for you. I'm not demanding you do anything Absolutely. I mean, I think if you're bringing this to the marriage or the partnership in your mind, your belief system has to be I have to work on me first. I have to try these things. They're new to me. My husband or wife doesn't know anything about this and it's going to be weird and different for us maybe. So I want to be respectful of that, and then, if he or she likes this kind of, they may just do it on their own.
Speaker 1:Hey, can I sit down with you and tell you something I appreciate about you? They may or may not, because this is, this is like turning around the Titanic. Sometimes. That's a good, that's a good image. Yeah, you know you're hitting the iceberg and you're like turning that ship is going to be a lot of work. It doesn't happen overnight.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I like the appreciation that you focused on today because I do think that focusing on what is really good between us helps us remember that deeper romantic phase, the attraction phase in our relationship. And if you have to do it with your mother, you know, you know maybe you have a mother or mother-in-law or sister in this holiday season that you had don't have great history with truly in your heart, not making it up, because then it will feel false. But I did this at a meeting and I there's a person I really was not wanting to connect with and had all kinds of reactivity around her. So I really intentionally went into the meeting trying to find a way to compliment or correct her Not correct her, but to connect with her. Yeah, and I did find something and then in that I found some compassion for that person. So it doesn't have to be in your partnership necessarily. Tis the season to be jolly is a real good time to practice it.
Speaker 2:I love it. I mean, we've got, you know, quite a busy season, coming up with a lot of different feelings, a lot of different histories, with everybody who's going to be listening, and just finding one little thing that you like and saying it out loud, you know it's going to be good energy. Whether it lands, whether someone picks it up or not, it's going to. If one of us becomes more grateful, it's good energy. And just saying that one nice little thing you know, thank you for saving that chair for me and then just go about whatever you're going to do and just we think these things and we are appreciative of these little, but sometimes we just forget to say it. And anywhere that you start to practice saying thank you. I think this is a good season for that, don't you?
Speaker 1:I really do. I really think it's a good season and I think it's like a lot of seasons. Sometimes there are religious times you know, advent, lent, all the other holidays that celebrate forgiveness a time to reflect. I think that they all remind us of who we really are inside, without all the defenses and the history and the he did this to me and he did that to me, and you know it really is pretty difficult. You said something else that I wanted to come back to. I just wanted to remind our listeners again that what you say should be genuine, and the reason I come back to that is you know, aa has a slogan, if you will, that says you know, keep your side of the street clean. If you become your higher self and act in a way with integrity and kindness, you will probably leave that situation, no matter how they receive it, feeling more genuine and content with who you are, and that feels pretty good to keep your side of the street clean, and it's always that saying has had a big impact on me.
Speaker 2:I like that. Thank you for sharing that. And again, this is probably we need more time to discuss this. But I grew up as a little girl who learned to be nice in a way, to kind of manipulate and get what I wanted, because I didn't know how, wasn't taught how to ask directly, and so I avoided conflict. So I would say a lot of nice things and do a lot of nice things, but it was really about me trying to stay safe because I didn't know how to be clear and direct and I realized much later in life how manipulative that could be.
Speaker 2:So you know and someone will pick up on that, and especially that someone is probably the person you're living with. If you are being nice in order to get something back, it's not a gift. And if there's a price tag, by God your partner is going to feel that price tag. But if you give a genuine compliment, gratitude, appreciation, the way that you're speaking about it, most cases it will land that way. But if a little price tag you know like I'm going to say this because I want you to say it back to me then there's a good chance that might not land so well. But you know this is part of the art of having a more conscious relationship and that's what we're helping couples think about and I love a chance for us to just kind of bounce back and forth talking about. You know what this means and what it could look like for one couple and why it may be a little different for another couple, for one couple, and why it may be a little different for another couple.
Speaker 1:You know there's another saying that I love is expectations. Are resentments waiting to happen, right? So as soon as I go into the Christmas festivities and Bob and I haven't talked in a year we got in a fight last Easter, whatever, and this is my cousin say, and and then I think, just going to be so nice to Bob, I've just heard the blueprint relationship and I, I think, I think that I'm just going to be nice to Bob. Check in with yourself, like, can I find something truly about Bob that I miss or appreciate? Before you say it Cause it's better to not say anything at all if you don't really mean it, because people smell bullshit, they smell bullshit, they do.
Speaker 2:Yep, yep, it's like we have a little bell that rings BS in there.
Speaker 1:Go ahead. No, no, I just was going to say you've agreed to do a part three with me. I would love to do a part three. Okay, because I'm trying to think of how I can get the most of my time with you.
Speaker 2:I think this is great, because we come up with so many more things we want to talk about every time we start to talk about this. Yes, we do.
Speaker 1:And I was thinking about the practicing of the mirroring. You talked about it. You asked me I'm going to mirror you, but we probably should explain that to our listeners. What does that really mean and how do you do it? And would you like to?
Speaker 2:experiment with it during the holidays. Well, let's make that our next episode. How about that?
Speaker 1:That sounds great and terrific. Is there anything else you want to cover before we leave today?
Speaker 2:Gosh, there's so many little threads that we can come back to, but I really like that. We kind of offered this invitation to listeners to just practice being grateful and saying something out loud an appreciation, a gratitude, a thank you. Something small and just. It may not be so small. It may be small, but sometimes the small things are huge. But going into this busy holiday season just with maybe an invitation to say a few more things that you're grateful for to people around you, including people you don't even know, like checkout people, but family members, neighbors, somebody on the street about this.
Speaker 1:I was thinking about my son-in-law, and something I don't mention to him and I don't know why I don't mention it, but I want to do it this weekend is really appreciate how dedicated he is to his family and how they absolutely you can see they come first in his life and what a great gift that is to his children and to my daughter.
Speaker 1:And I want to say that I think I don't know why I don't, but it came up as we were talking about all these people like our neighbors and our friends and, you know, calling a friend we haven't seen in a long time and just telling them what we miss about them. It would be, I think, a pretty powerful way to really get back to that mindset, which is really what we're talking about is changing our mindset from where's the problem? How do I fix it? Then I dwell on it, then I ruminate over why Bob's a jerk. You know it's easy to get our minds in that cycle but to really kind of like, wow, so what if I could, as an experiment, what if I could? Look for the good? And then, when I get the opportunity, tell them you know what it is that we appreciate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like that, to have a broader perspective about changing a mindset I like that and I have a feeling if you do that and I practice, we might even come up with some of the reasons. It's not as easy as we thought.
Speaker 1:Absolutely yeah To be continued and I yeah, I think that's so important. We've already talked about it. But we, if we can just think, I want to be genuine. Let's just say in that scenario, I say what I say and I don't get any feedback. You know, I'm not looking for feedback. I'm looking to practice my mindset without expectations, because I don't want to resent anybody, right? I don't want to live in that place of ick. I call it ick. It's a very psychological term, isn't it? But it feels icky to be in disconnection with someone and be mad at them because they didn't read my mind. Like I didn't say you have to say something bad after I tell you something good, like that's pretty unfair. We talked about relational contracts in episode two and I think that's really important and if I set that expectation with an appreciation, I don't think that's going to land well.
Speaker 2:I really like what you're saying, so let's you and I even practice this and see what we learn. Okay.
Speaker 1:So we're going to go to our loved ones, our friends, our neighbors, and we can go on the phone to people far away. But to just practice it and it may help journaling about it, Like you write down my niece Claire in Australia. I don't get to talk to her not even a tenth of how much I would like to, and I so appreciate so many things about her that I don't tell her. It's just time zones and things like that. But I certainly can make a call and let her know that. So, like that's one of my commitments, my son-in-law is a commitment, so I'm going to make those two a commitment, take notes and journal to see if I follow through on doing this.
Speaker 1:That's a good idea too, or what was hard about it and what was the outcome? And were we disappointed with the outcome? You know it's okay, it really is okay, and we're all just trying to practice new things so that we can have a richer, fuller life. And coming back to why I decided to create the relationship loop really is to unlock your power of connection. Often, when people are depressed, disillusioned, resentful, they've really given away their power. They've given away their power to other people. She made me feel a certain way, and I'm sure you did feel that way. But how do you get your power back? How do you become the architect of your life, your relationships, and you need people to help you with that. You need your partner, you need your friend. But if it starts with you and they see what you're doing and they like it, it's more like something's changed about you, rebecca, like what's up.
Speaker 2:You know, just as you're saying, that I just kind of maybe a good place to end for today is how much I appreciate that you've created this podcast to just you know, have this conversation and for people to be thinking and experimenting and learning that you know it's possible. People want good relationships and they often don't know how, and you've made a safe place to start to talk more about what to do, why it's challenging and little things you can do along the way for success, so I really appreciate that you're doing this.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you for that acknowledgement. I really will take that in. You know it's a passion. You know, whenever you have a passion about something, even if it's really scary, you have a passion about something, even if it's really scary. It's just you lead with your heart and see what happens. You know, I mean this podcast may or may not make it, but I'm enjoying every minute of it. So I don't look at it as a success or failure. I really look at it as like what I really want to give the world and how important this work is to me. And I think just it would be interesting if any of you listening are really really thinking I want more than the podcast. You can go to Imago, relationships work and another website might be. Where else would you go, rebecca?
Speaker 2:You know there's start on YouTube and just start looking up Imago Relationship Therapy A lot of our colleagues have made. Yes, that's coming to mind right now. But even listening to this podcast is huge. It's huge. And just taking the time to be more thoughtful and think and use your brain, not just your feelings. This is huge in creating a loving, passionate relationship, because we do have to think when we're living with someone who's not us.
Speaker 1:And to be continued, about our differences being a gift which sounds like an oxymoron, but I promise you sounds so nice. Yeah, there's a lot more to that story. Well, I want to say happy Thanksgiving to you, rebecca, and I want to appreciate how wonderful it's been to have you at my home and to share your journey of finding a new home, and that I get to be a part of that. I'm grateful, thank you.
Speaker 2:We will continue that journey together. Thank you so much, Coco.
Speaker 1:And I'm saying happy Thanksgiving to all of our listeners, those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, and even if you don't, it doesn't really matter. Gratitude is a practice, it's a mindset, it's a way of looking at the world. So I really hope that you will find one thing to be grateful for, even though it's a hard time of year for many people. It is not always the Publix commercial where everybody's just, you know, blissful, knowing that. I want you to just think about how grateful we are that you're part of our team and we will see you next Saturday on episode 12 of the Relationship Blueprint, unlocking your Power of Connection. Bye, everybody.
Speaker 2:Bye.
