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The Relationship Blueprint: Unlock Your Power of Connection
Colleen is a student of Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt who created the Imago Theory and have brought this work to over 50 countries around the world. She is profoundly influenced by this belief shared by Dr. Harville Hendrix. He said, "We are born in relationship, wounded in relationship and healed in relationship."
What are you struggling with today? Colleen believes that almost any problem we have began with a broken or unhealed relationship. The anxiety or deep sadness we feel often began with unresolved issues in our relationships with our parents, partner, family or friends. When we have unmet needs we are programed to get those needs met. When we don't get what we need we protest by protecting ourselves. this often looks like defensive, critical, demanding behaviors. these behaviors are most often ineffective. As a result we may develop unhealthy relationship with food, sex, gambling our or a substance.
Colleen invites world renown relationship specialists from all over the world to help her guests explore their own relationships and see their problems through a relational lens. She will help us explore how to create intimacy to deepen our connections. Her listeners will gain insights to create a more joyful life.
Colleen is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of South Carolina, a certified, Advanced Imago Clinical therapist, a clinical instructor for the Imago International Trading Institute while maintaining her clinical practice in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
Thank you for joining Colleen today. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. Join her next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.
Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!
The Relationship Blueprint: Unlock Your Power of Connection
From Fear to Fierce Advocacy: A Parent's Journey with an LGBTQ+ Teen
How do you respond when your child comes out as LGBTQ+? For many parents, this moment arrives without warning, triggering confusion, fear, and countless questions. Through Heather Hester's powerful story, we discover that this journey doesn't require perfect understanding—just an open heart.
Heather never expected to become an LGBTQ+ advocate. Coming from a conservative evangelical background, she was completely unprepared when her 16-year-old son came out as gay. What followed was a profound transformation, as she navigated from initial shock to becoming the founder of Chrysalis Mama and host of the "More Human, More Kind" podcast, where she guides thousands of parents through similar journeys.
The conversation offers crucial distinctions between sexual orientation and gender identity, helping parents understand these separate aspects of their child's experience. But beyond the terminology, Heather delivers a message that resonates universally: when your child shares who they truly are, believe them. This disclosure doesn't happen lightly—it follows intense introspection and courage.
Perhaps most powerful is Heather's candid discussion of parental vulnerability. She shares how acknowledging mistakes, admitting uncertainty, and showing your own humanity transforms relationships with teenagers. "The minute we let our kids see us as human beings—not untouchable, perfect people—it changes everything," she explains, offering hope to parents struggling to connect with their teens.
For parents hearing this news from their child, Heather recommends taking a pause to ask: "What is the best thing I can do in this moment?" The answer is almost always to validate, see, and love unconditionally. You don't need perfect understanding to offer perfect acceptance.
Whether you're parenting an LGBTQ+ child or simply want to create more authentic connections with your teenagers, this conversation offers a blueprint for moving beyond fear toward deeper understanding, vulnerability, and love.
Thank you for joining me today on the Relationship Blueprint. Remember, don't let life happen to you. You can be the architect of your relationships. So join me next time on the Relationship Blueprint; Unlock Your Power of Connection.
Contact Colleen at colleen@hiltonheadislandcounseling.com for questions or to be a guest on the show!
Hi everybody and welcome back. Today we're going to explore something that's very sensitive and equally as important how do parents truly support their children in discovering and embracing their sexual identity, especially LGBTQ+? It feels confusing or overwhelming, or sometimes really frightening. What if you worry it's just a phase? What if you find yourself uncertain about what to say or do because this is all new to you and you really want to help your child?
Speaker 1:In this episode of the Relationship Blueprint, where we unlock your power of connection, I'm joined by Heather Hester, an author, a speaker and host of Just Breathe, your LGBTQ teen podcast, ranked in the top 1.5% in the world. Heather is also the founder of Chrysalis Mama, where she guides parents through the journey of moving from fear to love with her four pillars embrace, educate, empower and love. Her own story began when her son came out as a teenager, sparking transformation from shock uncertainty to fierce advocacy. Today, she helps thousands of parents and allies navigate the complexities of identity, unlearn bias and build safe, loving spaces where their children can thrive. Her new book, parenting with Pride, expands this mission, offering both practical tools and deep compassion. Together, we'll explore how parents can replace their fear with curiosity, judgment with love, and create homes where children feel fully seen, celebrated for just who they are. And so, without further ado, I would really love to introduce my guest, heather, and I'm so happy that you're here with me. Where are you located right now?
Speaker 2:Thank you. Thank you for having me. I am located in a northern suburb of Chicago.
Speaker 1:Well, we are so happy to have you here, heather, because your work. I was so happy when you reached out to me because your work is so vital, and I listened to your podcast and I was extremely impressed with all that you have to share from your heart, your experience and all of the learning that you've absorbed in your experience. So I introduced you, but I'm curious if there's anything I left out about you that you would like to tell our audience.
Speaker 2:Sure, no. Well, thank you so much. I would just say you did. It was a beautiful introduction. I always kind of giggle when I it is a weird thing to be introduced. I think it's not a natural place to sit and just listen to someone talk about things you do. So that was really lovely and you did a great job of covering all the bases. I would just say the only thing that is really an update to what you shared was that my podcast. I've done some changing and evolving and growing in the past year, more so than I had in the years prior, and I've changed the name of my podcast to More Human, more Kind. I still do all of the same work the talking about loving, raising, parenting an LGBTQ teen. I have just broadened that work to really deepen into kindness and allyship and talking about some really hard topics that are have arisen in the past 6, 12, 18 months especially.
Speaker 1:So that's really interesting because that's the podcast I listened to and I thought you had too. It's so interesting because of the name change. I want to make sure that it'll be in my notes where you can find this information so that you can listen to Heather. But will you say it one more time so that they know where to find you? Absolutely.
Speaker 2:It is More Human, More Kind and even if you do type in Just Breathe Parenting your LGBTQ Teen, it should go right to More Human, More Kind.
Speaker 1:But just know that when it pops up, everything will say that that's really helpful and I really I love the name More Human, more Kind. There's a softness about that that, I think, is we have a lot of buzzwords right in our world, the DEI, and people dislike it or love it, and there's a lot of divisiveness around. But boy, you can't argue with more human and more kind right.
Speaker 2:Well, that is actually one of the biggest reasons I changed the name was because of the. You know it's unfortunate and we could probably discuss all day long the merits and why it is important to use those other words, but I wanted to make sure that this podcast really stayed open and drew people in with an open mind and an open heart and with that ability to really be able to hear. That was my biggest reason for changing it.
Speaker 1:Well, it's beautiful and I think when I listened to your podcast and also when I read about you, what I connected with was our work in Imago around that curiosity and that open heart and that really we can't. I don't believe that we can solve any problem unless we kind of center ourselves around. That space of this is really hard for me. I don't want to talk about it. I don't know anything about it or I know everything about it. I have all the answers. Whatever our standpoint, is that place where we could go in our hearts and just say you know, I really love my child and I'm going to be brave, but I'm going to have to prepare myself for these conversations and being more to be more kind.
Speaker 2:That often peels away at least a layer of that fear, a layer of, you know, we often, when something's uncomfortable, like we hold on really tight, you know, and we get really rigid and that's just like a natural survival thing that our body, mind, soul does. And when we're able to soften, when we're able to kind of just lean into I'm just going to be human that just opens up so much and so much opportunity for connection.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. And the curiosity that I don't have to know everything about this. I don't have to know, I just have to remain curious and inhalable. So that is a really great way for us to start. I mean, this is a big deal. You're in the top 1.5% in the world, and yet I know it didn't begin with that in mind. So can you tell us how you came to this work that you've become so passionate about?
Speaker 2:Yes, it's so funny. It's so funny. Yes, I have four children and my oldest, who is now 25, came out to us as gay when he was 16. He was ending his sophomore year in high school. We were blindsided. We did not see it coming. We were without any tools, information, anything, and so, and being the oldest, we were like, oh okay, I mean he had gone from being just this kid who was like the very typical oldest child, right Like an overachiever, the people pleaser, like a lot of those oldest child traits that you see, and in the matter of a couple of months, just really everything kind of just melted away. And he, once he told us, once he knew that that information was safe with us, he just completely fell apart, which is kind of counterintuitive. He would have thought that it would have made this wonderful, safe place.
Speaker 2:But I think that he, what had happened was that he had been struggling for so long that once he was able to kind of bring us into the fold and let us into that, then he was able to fall apart. He needed to fall apart in order to really get in touch with who he was at the time, who he is in the world, and we needed to do the same thing. So you know, for us, we both were coming from similar but different, very conservative backgrounds. I came from a very conservative, evangelical background. For me, in that moment, when he told us and we had made a lot of shifts as a family before that, but when he told us I knew in that moment that my kid is not going to hell I have to figure out why I know this in my body and my soul to be true, right, why everything I've been told my whole life I just know not to be true. And then I just need to understand, like there's so much I don't know and I want to understand, to know how to support my child. And because he had so many different struggles, there were so many things we had to learn so quickly.
Speaker 2:And so after about 18 months of just crisis after crisis and lots of stuff, I thought no other family should have to go through this. And I know there are tens upon thousands of families out there going through very similar things. And there are not nearly the books out there that we need. There are definitely not the podcasts out there that we need. The support is really hard to find and I live in Chicago. I mean, if you're going to find, this is a place that you should be able to find all the resources you need, and we really struggled to find exactly all the pieces that we needed. So I thought, well, I'm going to create that myself. So that's when I created the podcast and, honestly, that came from a place of I'm going to create a resource to help other parents know that they're not alone. I am not a professional speaker, I am not a PhD, I am not any of these things. I am a parent with lived experience who feels very passionately about this, and so that's how it started in 2019.
Speaker 1:And everything has just flowed from that 19 and everything has just flowed from that. You know, it's so touching to hear your story because, as you said, your evangelical background would have, in my experience, maybe made you much more rigid about hearing that about your son, but that didn't happen for you. And then when you said that you didn't know anything no right, but you knew in your heart. When you said that you didn't know anything no right, but you knew in your heart, that is exactly right you felt something in your heart with your son as he shares this with you, and then you watched him fall apart and I guess, being a therapist, all I can see or feel about that is that because you created this safe space, even though you didn't know what to do, you created that space for him where he finally felt safe. Because I can only imagine. I remember telling my mom things that I had done wrong and shaking in my boots over it for days or weeks sometimes and feeling so scared like will she still love me, will I be accepted?
Speaker 2:But when you share something like your son did, to gosh, have both of your parents embrace you like wow, wow yeah, I mean I, I am so grateful and now you know where he is, where we all are as a family. I mean, it has been a a gift, blessing, and I can say that too now, having gone through all of the things we did and knowing that he is safe right, knowing that he is happy, that he is healthy, that he is thriving, and you know, there were times, long moments of time in there where we didn't know that that was going to be the case. So I think that does make me even feel even more passionately about talking about this and really opening a space for parents and allies to, even if it's just think about it, right, just like open up that one little pathway in your brain, to like consider a new way of thinking about LGBTQ kids, lgbtq people, and so this is just a huge, huge passion project.
Speaker 1:So, as I'm hearing you share, I think he's 25 now and he was 16. So you've really had the journey and you said something about that. He's thriving and that he's happy. And sometimes I've said to parents who are in my office, like what is your end goal here? That he go to Harvard, or not even about if the son or daughter is gay, but like they're not doing this, they're not doing that, but what is your end goal? What do you really want for your child? In the end? What's your biggest wish? And most parents say I want them to be happy and healthy and live the best life that they can have, and so it must feel amazing to see that your son really landed there, because those years it doesn't matter who you are between 16 and 25, they're tough years.
Speaker 2:They are really tough years. I mean, there's nothing that, as a parent, I feel like prepares you for that. If you have kids that fall anywhere outside of right here, outside of the quote unquote norm, if you have kids that show up in the world in any other way, it is exponentially more difficult. And being a teenager is hard. Right now it is a million times harder than it was for us when we were teenagers. So it is just layers upon layers of difficulty but opportunity for growth, both for your child and for you. I have found this to be, you know, probably the most fascinating decade of my life, and just the growth that I've had as a human being and the things that I've been able to shed and let go of and see about myself and love about myself and accept and all the different pieces where you think, holy cow, it's a lot.
Speaker 1:So when you first heard like I'm just thinking about our listeners who either maybe they suspect, maybe they have an inkling, or maybe their child has said you know, I'm confused about this, or I really feel like I'm gay or I really like girls, and there's just, it's brand new, and sometimes they may even start to feel immediate grief Tell us about like, of course you have hindsight now, but for those parents, what do you tell them like about? Where should they begin? How do they begin to even understand this difference between sort of their sexual orientation, orientation, yes, and then their gender identity and their gender identity.
Speaker 1:So can we talk a little bit more about that?
Speaker 2:Sure, let me clarify. I just want to clarify that before I start talking. So do you want me to give you kind of the difference between the two? It might help our listeners.
Speaker 1:Because that seems to be a confusion, that I've experienced with people. So let's start there and then we'll go. Where do you go from there?
Speaker 2:Okay, perfect. So, yes, so sexual orientation. It is confusing because we put all the letters together, right? So we say LGBTQIA plus and there are other letters and numbers and it depends on who you're talking to and none of it is wrong. So, however you say, it is how you say it.
Speaker 2:So sexual orientation is who you are attracted to. So that would be a same-sex relationship, right? A me being attracted to another biological or, well, for simplicity's sake, another female, right, my son being attracted to a boy. So it is about, kind of, your sexual attraction. Gender identity is who you are inherently on the inside. So I always think of it kind of as that, like outward attraction as opposed to like the inner. This is who I am. So oftentimes, you will see, and people think it is so strange that children know at very young ages they will say a five-year-old will say a five-year-old girl person who was born female will say I'm a boy. Right, they know, they know who they are. And at those ages they're able to articulate it because they haven't built up all the filters yet, right, they haven't been around all of the societal nonsense. So those are the basic differences between the two, but just know they're different, they're not the same.
Speaker 1:So let's, for our audience's sake, let's say that I am a 14-year-old girl who was born with female sexual organs and I am attracted to women. Okay, and then? So that's my orientation. The person that makes me feel like I want to get to know them better, or kiss them confused about the identity versus the orientation and I think you know that alone is something for a parent to sort of like wrap their arms around, you know, just wow, so they can read about that. That's something I can Google and kind of get some more information, because it is confusing.
Speaker 2:It is confusing and just know that it is first of all your child is. They're kind of trying to it is confusing. It is confusing and just know that it is first of all your, your child is, is they're kind of trying to figure it out too. So they're not going to come to you with concrete things unless it is, you know, a specific Connor came to me and said mom, I am gay, concrete. But it is not typical for a child to come and say typical for a child to come and say I am gay and I also feel like I am. You know, like for Connor, if he would say I am gay and I also I think I'm a girl. That does not typically happen. Just developmentally, as far as scientifically, developmentally as far as the body goes, those two things develop at different times. So the awareness of that happens at different times within just growing up, within development.
Speaker 1:And so, developmentally, your identity would come before your sexual orientation, because you're not sexual as we think about sexuality until we're a little bit older middle school age.
Speaker 2:Like puberty you think about. You know, sexual orientation generally lines up with puberty, because that's when you start to. You know the hormones start firing and you start realizing like, oh, that's kind of cute.
Speaker 1:And how confusing that is for all of us. And I think one of the things that I've heard in my office is that from parents, like he says he's trans, but like I didn't know what I was doing at his age, like really I didn't have that experience so I'm going to minimize my child's experience because that was not mine and how could they actually know that at this age? Can you talk a little bit about that?
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, yeah. So I will go back to the fact that kids know inherently who they are, they know what they, you know what they connect with. As you know, as a born biologically female person, there are things that I've always connected with right you as well. Right, somebody who is trans connects in a different way and they just inherently know that. It's not something that has been taught to them by something they've read or seen online or heard from somebody else.
Speaker 2:And I think the most important thing that I could say here because there's a lot of sporting affairs in that statement but I will say that when your child comes to you and says and tells you that they are gay or trans or non-binary or bisexual or whatever it happens to be, believe them, this is not something that they came up with in that moment that they are sharing with you. They have been thinking about it, wrestling with it, going through. There are stages of coming out and they have already been through two at that point to build up the courage to be able to say to you I am gay. That is a huge big deal. Or I am trans.
Speaker 2:So I think just kind of take that and and it's okay that you don't understand. It is okay that it is something that you were not aware of when you were that age. Of course you weren't. Most of us weren't. But that is the gift of there being more awareness now and there being more representation. Now still not nearly enough of any of that, but our kids are able to see themselves others and that gives them the courage to be able to say wait, that's how I feel, that's me, I understand that, I connect with that, and then that gives them the courage to be able to share it with you. So, as difficult and as uncomfortable as that is, believe them.
Speaker 1:I love that just because it's when they're telling you who they are. And then imagine if I'm telling somebody who I am and they say no, you're not, you're misunderstanding yourself. I like to give the comparison when I'm doing couples work, like if somebody says you know you're not feeling that, you're just making a big deal out of this. There is nothing more degrading or insensitive than to tell somebody how they feel, because how you feel it's like the one thing that's yours, right. You know how you feel and you might change your mind in 10 minutes about how they feel, because how you feel it's like the one thing that's yours, right. You know how you feel and you might change your mind in 10 minutes about how you feel because moods change. But when a child's coming to you with you know, something as serious as this and vulnerable to say to you like, believe them. I think is such a that could be a book on its own, couldn't it, heather? Like, believe them, I love.
Speaker 2:And I just think of the number of people that I've worked with that my kids have known things that have been said to them where they just need that little bit of validation and to be seen is so huge.
Speaker 2:There's this feeling as parents I think that goes back for all of time that parents feel like they need to be perfect and we can't. Not only do we need to be perfect, we cannot show being human right, we cannot show cracks, we cannot show that we don't know something. So when these things come up that we don't necessarily understand or we don't have the answers to that aren't reflective of our personal experience, it's really hard, and so you kind of find yourself in that space. You know you fall back on that. Well, you don't know what you're talking about and I know everything and I'm going to tell you who you are and how to be, because that's just like old, old programming and that's what you and I are trying to do, right? Is this like working with people? To take a minute, take a pause, take a breath and be okay with not knowing, being okay with trusting that your child knows who they are and that neither one of you need to have all the answers to that. For them to be who they are.
Speaker 1:You said some really important things, because we know that to be seen, heard and validated is the human experience, and anything other than that is destructive.
Speaker 1:And it's often the story of therapy right, it's. You know, my dad didn't really know me. He wanted me to be a doctor and so I had to be a doctor to receive the love, the appreciation. So this is not unlike those situations where, you know, we may have a dream. My daughter comes and says to me, you know I'm gay, and then I might go right to a story I'm never going to have grandchildren, which isn't true. But it's natural too to go right to some grief about well, wow, how will people treat you, will your grandmother accept you? Like all the millions of thoughts that go on in our mind when our children tell us anything. You know with lots of topics, but this topic in particular seems so important that the words seen, heard and validated are maybe ingrained in us and if not part of us yet, to develop those skills as parents parents?
Speaker 2:100% yes, and I think that one of the ways that you can do that is by practicing taking a pause or taking a breath when something comes up that either you don't have the answer to or that it makes you feel uncomfortable, or whatever feeling comes up, having that be your signal to. I just need to take a minute here and what is the best thing I can do in this moment for my child? Validate them, see them, let them know that they're loved. Right, you don't need to have all the answers to love your child unconditionally. Almost, I will say from my experience, the moment that I was able to own up to my mistakes to say, oh shoot, I really screwed that up or I am sorry for not handling that well, I don't have the answer, let's try to figure this out together, or I'm going to do the work that I need to do to figure this out, because it is not your job to hold my hand through figuring this out, and the moment that I was able to begin to do those things, it changes your relationship.
Speaker 2:When your kids are able to see you as a human being and not this like untouchable, perfect person that they are aspiring to, you know, love them. They just want love from us, right? They just want acceptance, they want approval, they want validation, they want to be seen by us. The minute we start doing that and letting them see us, it changes all of that. Not that they don't continue to want and need all of those things from that, because those are very important pieces of parenting. But, oh, my goodness, it just opens up the communication, which I have found to be one of my most favorite parts of all of this?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because what we say matters, yeah, have to say matters, and you know when you were speaking about, you know, this pause and not having all the answers and not being perfect. You know I'm thinking of the good enough parent, if anybody's familiar with that. I mean that our humility and our vulnerability with them, especially at those ages, really is important, because we have a world of perfectionists, we have eating disorders everywhere, we have addictions, and the thing is is that if we don't validate our kids, they will rebel, right? I mean, if your son had come to you and you said you are not gay and I don't want to ever hear that again, You're not allowed to speak of that in this house what do you imagine might have happened in your relationship just your relationship with him?
Speaker 2:I wouldn't have one. I mean, it would be so superficial and I fear I know what would have happened, which would have been far worse than us just not having a relationship. It is wow. There are not words to explain the importance of validating, of seeing. It's completely separate from us understanding what's going on.
Speaker 1:From us being the authoritative. I'm the parent. I will tell you who you are and what you do 38, 35, 33. And we have five grandchildren. We're very blessed. But I mean, I think about the adult relationships now that we get to have with our kids and their children and I have friends in our community. We have a lot of older people where we live and that don't have great relationships and I cringe because those parents grieve that all the time and sometimes it's really hard to go back to those years where we weren't being validating or we weren't understanding and we weren't really seeing our children and allowing them to be who they are. You don't always get a do-over with that because kids go away and that's very painful. So your messaging around this is so important for all parents to be hearing for all parents.
Speaker 2:Yes, no matter, this isn't just for parents of lgbt, which is certainly why I have expanded the messaging, because it is just important. And I think also, when you think about you know, I think my oldest was 16 when kind of this whole transformation, evolution, learning, all of these things began. And I have gone back over time, even as recent as two weeks ago, when I had been reading about something and thinking about something with one of my daughters and I thought, oh my gosh, I really kind of messed that up when she was a little bit younger. And you know, I went to her and I was like I was just reading about this and I just want to say I'm really sorry that I screwed that up. And she was like, well, thanks, mom. She's like I thank you for seeing that.
Speaker 1:And I was like, oh, yay you know, well, yeah, you got to repair something. That's what relationships are about Like. We make mistakes, humankind, right, we are human, we make mistakes. And then when we make mistakes, if we can, you know, and we usually can go back to that person and say, wow, that was not my intention, but boy, my impact was not what I wanted, like I may have had all the good intentions in the world, but it certainly didn't land the way I hoped.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly, and I really honestly, you know, after that conversation, I've been reflecting on it a lot the past year since we had it, and I think this is an important message, you know, for all parents, all who have relationships, it doesn't matter how much time has passed, right, if you become aware of something that happened because you have grown, because you've evolved as a human being, it's never too late to go back and be like oh my gosh, I just realized that I kind of blew that and that vulnerability goes a long way with your children and your partner or anybody you're in a relationship with, because they see your pain like I, really I messed up Like, and who hasn't messed up?
Speaker 1:Who hasn't messed up? Right, exactly, exactly. Well, I know that they can go to your podcast. I mean, I think you have 180 episodes, is that right? I?
Speaker 2:think yesterday I think was 190 that I've hit. So I know it's kind of fun. There's a lot there, a lot of different topics. Again, it is more human, more kind, and go check it out.
Speaker 1:I would love that. I want people to check it out because I think there's just so much misinformation out there, and when we can get educated about something, then we can really make some better choices as parents. We don't have to know everything but boy, in this day and age, with all the podcasts and information out there. I don't recommend Google, but I do recommend finding someone like Heather Hester who can help you navigate this journey, that has the experience, that has the knowledge and actually has the heart for this, because it is the sensitivity I think that you bring to this topic that can help a parent really not feel alone and be able to walk through this, and so I'm grateful for the work you're doing, so grateful.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me today. This was a really really lovely conversation.
Speaker 1:Well, I hope that maybe you'll come back. And if you were coming back, what would you want to talk about? What would be the next topic?
Speaker 2:I think we could go another layer deeper. I mean, we kind of briefly talked about the guilt and the talking about grief. I think we could talk a lot about grief. I think we could do some talking about boundaries as well, that is a powerful conversation.
Speaker 1:It is a powerful conversation because, I have to say, in my own memory of my teenagers, I think I had boundaries and as I look back, a lot of them were created by fear and not always by what was appropriate. And again, you can't go back and undo things but the awareness and be able to say to your children like wow, I was really strict about that, but here I was trying to protect you, but I just see that it didn't land that well Right, and so I love that. Boundaries and grief. And the third thing you said was also important Grief, boundaries and guilt Guilt yeah, I love that. She shared with all of you today will help you. If you're in those shoes, hearing news, if you're part of what I think it's 10% of the population that is going to hear from your child, you know I'm different in this way, Mom, and I stay away from the word normal. There is no normal, by the way. Everybody it's what's typical, maybe.
Speaker 2:Yes, I think that's better. I always use that in quotes, normal quotes. Yeah, normal is such an you know who's normal.
Speaker 1:I don't know anybody normal. I think I know what looks typical, but I think when we use words like normal, then the opposite of that is abnormal and I won't. I won't subscribe to that. I feel like we have such beautiful people in the world that they can't shine in all their brilliance if they're not accepted and loved and seen and heard. So let's keep you doing your work, heather, and I'll be in touch to get you back on the show. It sounds wonderful. Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you and thank you to our listeners. We really appreciate you coming and listening to the podcast, the Relationship Blueprint, where you unlock your power of connection, and Heather provided a blueprint today, a beginning of a blueprint. If you're in this situation, you actually have a way to be the architect of the relationship that you want with your children with this kind of information. So go listen to Humankind and you can find it on Apple. That's where I found you.
Speaker 2:It has platforms as well All the platforms. Wherever you listen to your podcasts, you can find me.
Speaker 1:Awesome. Well, thank you again and goodbye everybody, and until the next time, have a good day.
