What is your pain trying to tell you? Explore physical, emotional and spiritual healing with Tanya Colucci

You can’t heal what your body still protects.

Pain that won’t budge. A mind that understands the pattern but can’t change it. Relationships that stay stuck because your nervous system won’t let you soften. We wanted a conversation that goes deeper than advice, so I brought on my longtime friend Tanya Colucci, a myofascial release therapist and coach, to talk about what actually helps when “trying harder” isn’t working. If you’ve ever wondered whether stress, trauma, and emotions live in the body, you’ll hear a clear, grounded take on fascia, myofascial release, and why physical symptoms can be tied to protective patterns you didn’t choose.

We walk through Tanya’s own turning point: sudden, intense back pain in her twenties that sent her searching beyond conventional approaches. From there we get practical about somatic healing and trauma stored in the body. Tanya explains how fascia responds to life experience, why release can feel emotional even when the touch isn’t painful, and how body-based work can create the lightness and awareness that makes better decisions possible. We also talk openly about where talk therapy can be limited when defenses are locked in the nervous system, and why vulnerability is hard until the body feels safe.

Then we shift into the tools that turn insight into action. Tanya shares what she gained from Brown University leadership and performance coaching training and how her coaching approach relies on powerful questions and accountability instead of telling people what to do. We dig into Enneagram assessment reports, blind spots, stress patterns, and growth edges, including how these frameworks can support recovery, PTSD healing, and major life transitions like retirement. If you’re curious about retreats, virtual coaching, or deeper self-awareness work, explore Tanya’s work at Sacred Soul Guidance and follow along for upcoming resources, retreats, and coaching opportunities.

If this resonated, subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next, share it with a friend who’s feeling stuck, and leave a review so more people can find the show. You can also follow Tanya Colucci and learn more about her work through Sacred Soul Guidance.

Transcript

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Healing Through Body And Awareness

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Welcome back to the relationship blueprint, where you unlock your power of connection. And today I have a guest with me. We've been friends for a really long time, maybe 12 years.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Yeah, probably 10, 12, 10, plus 10 plus years. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Yeah, a long time. And uh her name is Tanya Callucci, and she lives right here in Bluffton, South Carolina, where I do. And uh I'm really I asked her to be on the show today because you know that all of this work we're doing about healing ourselves and really unlocking that power of connection with ourselves and with others is all about really self-insight, because my relationship with you can't be what I wish it could be if I'm not aware of my impact on you. And then I can't feel good about myself or what I do unless I'm aware of myself and my behaviors. So the ones that no longer serve me, I can maybe stretch and grow into new behaviors that are more um, they're more adaptable and they're more proficient in my life that make my life more full. And some of the behaviors I'm doing that work. How do I hold on to those? How do I keep my boundaries and take what I've learned so far and apply those with myself and in my relationship? And Tanya has been a huge part of my healing. Tanya, you have been. Uh, she's a myofascial release therapist, as well as many other things you're going to hear about. But what I couldn't do with my head, and you know that I think a lot, uh, what I couldn't do in my own mind and processing, I knew was in my body, the trauma that I had stored, the trauma I was currently going through. And it was really with Tanya's her healing that I've been able to integrate and actually be more than just my head. I have a head, I have a heart, I have a soul, and they work together. And so I don't any longer live from here to here. And in large part, that is because of Tanya Callucci. So welcome, Tanya.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

Honored. Yeah, I'm honored to have you on the show and hear about your new adventures.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Sounds good. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Yeah. So tell us first. I mean, they don't know anything about you. I know so much. So where to begin is always hard when you know so much about a person. But tell us how you got into the healing

Back Pain That Redirected A Career

SPEAKER_00 2:37

field. What was your beginning?

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Wow. Well, um, I was uh in Washington, D.C. and I was working, you know, having my degrees in exercise science and health promotion management. And I was working sort of in the corporate wellness and fitness field and running wellness programs for different government agencies. And I woke up one day with chronic, with, with absolute back pain out of the clear blue sky. And uh through my own healing journey of going through all the traditional routes, I did have structural things wrong with my back as a 27-year-old that looked like, I guess, someone in their 60s, 70s. I did not want to do any drastic interventions like surgery or anything like that. I tried therapy and I was probably addicted to Vikiton every day. I literally couldn't do any anything that I was wanting to do. And at the time, I was trying to pursue my doctorate degree to become a professor full-time in exercise, physiology, anatomy, and kind of the wellness field. And it saw me dead in my tracks. And I started exploring meditation, energy healing, and I got directed to a therapist that actually did myofash release work. And I left after the first session and I was pain-free, almost pain-free. I was about 70% better. So I realized that the issue was maybe not my spine and it was in my tissues, and potentially there was something else there. So it completely changed the trajectory of my career. And I decided to go into doing healing body work because it was the only thing that helped me through doing that work or for over 17 years. It made me realize that our body is the roadmap to our soul. And a lot of times physical pain is stopping us from making our next move because it's not the right move for what's in alignment for us at our soul level. So for the past 17 plus years, I've been doing that work and doing dialoguing with clients while they're on the table, trying to get them to connect more deeply with themselves internally to help heal themselves and uh to give them that insight. And uh through that process, I really enjoy like sort of coaching people and deeper inquiry. So I've recently completed a few certifications in coaching, one specifically through Brown, doing more leadership and performance coaching and then integrate integration coaching. So integrating all these things, not only somatically, but working with people that have experienced trauma and addiction and other things, and how can I help them shift and take their power back and heal?

SPEAKER_00 4:58

I love that. Take their power back because that's really, you know, this um feeling of helplessness, victimhood, it really just keeps us stuck. And and I can remember being on your table and you working on a certain part of me and asking me questions and tears just rolling down my cheeks of release. And it wasn't that it was physically painful what you did, but I knew that something was releasing within me. I knew it and I could feel it. And sometimes I would even describe it and then, you know, letting you know where it was or what it felt like. And it was all just a very powerful, powerful journey for me.

Fascia, Trauma, And Emotional Release

SPEAKER_00 5:41

So this myofascial release, I think many people don't really know what that is. Would you give us a brief explanation of what it is?

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Yeah. Um, well, the fascia, simply the fascial system is the outer layer of every cell in our body, and it's it gives us shape and form, and it's around our organs, our muscles, everything. And it also is the relay system for our consciousness. So everything that we ever experience in life, whether physical, emotional, um, there's an energetic imprint, essentially. So if I'm sitting at my desk all day on my computer, my body starts to mold to that shape. And so what I do is I use my hands to apply pressure in areas to soften that tissue and get it to release. But a lot of the times with the physical pain or discomfort, there's also an emotional component. So our body tends to lay down patterns of tightness that are also like stored emotions that we maybe couldn't experience when something bad was happening to us because we didn't have time or we were told not to feel or emote. And so I help people to kind of do a little journey into their body to inquire with their body what is it that they're holding, what the bot what is the body holding on to that needs to be released? And sometimes it is an emotion, sometimes uh it's a memory or feeling or sensation. And as we allow ourselves to feel that, it gives our body permission to let go. And we don't necessarily have to analyze it with our mind. We just have to feel it with our body.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

And I, you know, as you're saying that, it's almost like I'm reliving my experiences with you, because I would say, I'm having um, I don't know, this problem with my hip. And and then you would be touching my stomach or something and saying, This is where the the tightness is here in the psoas. And, you know, then you would help me with with the release, but not even knowing, like I'm having the pain here, but I had no idea what the source was. And that I always, and I'm saying always, left your office lighter, that whatever happened with my energy, there was a shift, and whatever pain I was going through was released. And so I really can't say enough about it when people are struggling with some sort of physical ailment. And I also know that they're going through emotional things, but many people don't want to think, oh, my emotions are part of this. You're blaming me for my disease. And I'm like, no, I'm really not. I'm just suggesting that maybe you go see Tanya and perhaps look at other things that might help you feel better alternatively to what I'm doing with you, because it's a team approach, really. You and I have worked with many people, the same people, and together really kind of get people where they need to be.

SPEAKER_01 8:24

Yeah. I mean, when our body is tight and bogged down with that heaviness physically, a lot of times we don't even have the awareness of what it feels like to not have that sensation. So important. And with that lightness, right, comes an awareness. So that maybe we're able to make stronger connections about what decisions we need to make, what choices we need to make based on how it feels in our body, not necessarily maybe what our logical mind is telling us we should do. Or giving those two to kind of work together versus like against each other, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah, I love that. I love that we're really talking about because we know from all of the trauma work, you know, the book The Body Keeps Score, for those of you who have read that, or if you're interested in hearing about how trauma is stored in the body, it's an excellent resource. I think that many of us have lived most of our life thinking, this is our body, this is our pain, this is how we fix that. And it's very uh Western orientation of medicine. And we're not saying there's anything wrong with that. We're just saying let's get curious if that's not working, like it wasn't with you, um, and it wasn't with me, uh, that maybe there's another way. Getting curious about your body is pretty important.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Yes, because it's all connected. It's impossible to separate us in the parts, you know, our physical body and our energetic body, or our soul and our mind, they are all and our heart are all intertwined. So we're not, we can't separate them out, you know.

SPEAKER_00 9:48

No, and how many people come to me that are in chronic pain as a way of living and they're depressed? Well, yes, naturally you're depressed because you're in chronic pain, like it's a cycle. So this part of the healing that I certainly promote and I know that you do, is let's look at it all. Let's look at the big picture. And talk therapy is limited. I'm just being totally honest. The couple's work is pretty deep and still, yet many couples get stuck because of what their nervous system is not allowing them to do in the couple's work. So it's in the body. That's why I just was on a phone with a colleague using uh ketamine with highly resistant couples that are having a hard time being vulnerable with one another because there's so much defense going on. And the rigidity of that is something that you can help with.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Yes. I mean, in part that body's doing it as a protective mechanism, right? Out of fear of being hurt again and not, you know, wanting to feel the depths of that. And so it's a good thing sometimes, right? We need our body to protect us, but in cases like this where we need to be vulnerable in order to repair relationships, it's super important to be able to let those guards down and um you know, explore those things.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

And without vulnerability, it really doesn't happen.

Coaching That Finds Answers Within

SPEAKER_00 11:12

So this new this new training that you've done um that you've you've completed now you're with Brown University. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

That's expensive. Yeah, it was it was a good journey. I was um it was over eight months. So, you know, I officially have graduated from their program with a certificate, and now I'm gonna sit for a national exam to get, you know, the national vacation. Yeah. But yeah, I learned a lot about myself in the process, which I wasn't really I don't want to say I feel bad about saying that because I'm usually fairly open to like learning and growing. Um, but I was really surprised at um the personal growth that I did, but it also has helped with making my questions more pinpointed and with my dialoguing with clients and um open the doors for me, getting people off the table and being able to do this work through the coaching aspect lens and looking at their whole life and also integrating the somatic or the body part of embodiments with with talking versus always having to touch people. So um, yeah, so I'm looking forward to working with more individuals and how I can kind of integrate all of that through the coaching work.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Yeah, I think that that that's really interesting. And I'm so happy that you're gonna be able to do that coaching as well because integrating all of your skills is such a gift. I mean, to get to lose one and not incorporate them all would be I can't imagine that because you're so talented.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Yeah. So I will always do the myofascial work because it's so powerful. But I also, you know, I want to be portable. So I want to be able to take people on retreats and be able to do other things with them and that are outside of just the one-on-one and even in groups. So the coaching is an avenue to do that.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

And can you tell us more about the the actual program that you did at Brown? Tell us what um the topic was and the certification and why should we why should we look into it? It's so cool. I want to hear more about it from you.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Yeah, so it's it's basically laying the foundation to allow somebody to be able to provide coaching. And specifically, it was mainly focused on leadership and performance coaching. So working with individuals that are in leadership roles in corporations, entrepreneurs, business owners. And essentially, you're working with individuals under the assumption that they are resourceful and whole within themselves. And as a coach, um, the shift for me was um not guiding or leading and only asking powerful questions to get them to go inward to get the answers, essentially.

SPEAKER_02 13:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Which is in alignment with the healing work they already do, is is asking them the questions to get people to go into their body and feel so that they are in charge of their healing process. I'm not the one that's doing it, right? I'm just facilitating. And so it's a verbal way of getting people there versus physically, right, with touching them. So a lot of it was in how to structure questions, how to take them through the the coaching journey and get to a resolution with actionable items to follow through with. And as the coach, holding them accountable session to session, the following through with those things, you know, working through challenging situations or you know, accomplishing goals that they have set for themselves. So practice coaching with each other a lot.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

So that's really cool. And you know, you're making me think of people who hang up a shingle about being a life coach. And actually, I think life coaches or executive coaches or personal coaching is such an important field. But I mean, you have done the work and have st have a structure and a framework for your your coaching, which sounds amazing. Yeah, I just want to say beware if you would you find a life coach, ask them the questions like what are what is your training? Because Tanya has spent an extensive amount of time and money and resources to be as knowledgeable as you are. I want to go, I she gave me the assessment.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

That um, do you want to tell them about the assessment?

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Sure. Um the the assessment process is a little bit outside of Brown's framework, but it is an international uh the Anne Gram assessment, which is a personality assessment that you take that assesses you on many aspects. And so it's super powerful because it gives the coach and you a 24 plus page report on who you are, how you show up personality-wise, how the lens in which you view the world. Um, do you make or take action through your brain, your thinking center, your heart center, your feeling center, or your gut, more of the action center? And how you receive and give feedback best in communication style. And then how you can utilize the Enneagram, which is a series of nine different personality styles for your own personal and professional growth during times of stress and strain, and then also for expansion and growth and awareness about yourself and how you show up in relationships, whether it be at work or personally in personal relationships. So it's a great launching point when I'm working with a client that I really don't know or know anything about. It gives me a great detail of insight into who they are so that I can tailor how I'm communicating with them and how I'm kind of nudging them along based on who they are.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Yeah. So it's it have you ever heard of Jihari's window?

SPEAKER_02 16:47

Mm-mm.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

So it's um, so that just picture this that it's it's basically in a nutshell, it has four quadrants, and there's the part of me that you see that I don't see about me. Okay, there's the part of me that I see that no one else sees about me. There's the part of me that um we both see about me, and then there's the part of me that both of us do not see about me. And so um I think that's why some of these assessments can be so important, like when I look through the report you gave me, 24 pages. I it was pretty intense. And when I saw some of my blind spots, I had to really kind of sit with it and say, wow, is that really true? I I don't see myself as impulsive, and when am I impulsive? And kind of just questioning some of those those insights, because I know that I don't see the full self. I know that I'm very aware of it. And I know that in positive ways, I've had teachers who saw things in me that I never dreamed were true, and that with their insight, I was able to grow into when we start to reclaim our whole selves and become authentic. One of the things I love about your work is that whether you're using the Enneagram or the myofascia release or you're coaching with these poignant questions, you're really trying to help the client find their authentic self. They can realize their full potential.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

Yes, yes. And they can show up as their highest version, right? And really tapped into their, I like to call it like our core essence or our sole essence, like who they really are and and how can you really embody that in all aspects of you, not just how you are at home, showing up with your family, but also how are you showing up professionally and um how does the world perceive you and how do you want to be perceived, and using it for tools to improve relationships um and outcomes, you know? Yeah. By having that awareness. The awareness is key. A lot of a lot of us don't have the awareness. And so once we have the awareness, then we have the choice as to the shifts that we want to make or not make, which is totally fine as well. But that awareness is key.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

I love that we're talking about this. This is actually also fits so much with Amago about our lost parts on our on our uh psychological, or excuse me, on our social journey through life, we get messages. We're born into the world being this perfect little human being, like an acorn that's going to be the tree. Everything is there for who we're meant to be. But then we get these messages, right? And uh maybe it's uh girls don't get angry, or um, don't be too smart, or for boys, uh, you know, you don't cry, or you can't like girls, or whatever the messages are. There are millions of them. Don't dance like that, don't wear those clothes. You're not you're not going to college because you know you're really not that smart. You'll you can do something else. Get married. All of these things that micro moments that make up who we kind of become, but it isn't who we are. And so, just like what you're saying, we're trying to reclaim those lost or hidden or denied parts of self through the Amaga work. And what you're doing is very similar through your work, which I I love how they line up.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Yes, yes, exactly. Um that awareness is key because I don't know, I I'm looking at it a lens from my parent a parent perspective right now with my 13-year-old teenager, you know, and the things that come home and I've used some of these coaching like questions and strategies with him, and it's fascinating because taking myself out of the role of the parent and more of the coach, and it's fascinating the responses that I get, right? Rather than deflecting my beliefs onto him in terms of choices, like asking the questions for him to go in and start to inquire is a big difference, right? So hopefully those micro messages, right? Uh hopefully I'm not giving him the micro messages that you know are gonna make him have to come see you later, isn't it? Yeah, really. Um, I'm just joking. But yeah, I mean that awareness, you know, individually, it's just it's so important for all everyone, you know, even working with kids and our family members, you know.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

Yeah, I think there's no one ever who's gone to the couple's workshop and hasn't left going, what have I done to my kids? Because when they're looking at themselves and the messages we got growing up, right? And then we think not only, you know, we give those messages, and you're working so consciously to not give him bad messages, but also that we don't we can't we can't counteract all of the cultural messages that they receive and from other significant people in their lives that maybe we wish weren't part of their lives, but it is what it is. So parents getting really aware of this in themselves, unless you Saw that in yourself, you wouldn't be able to do that, right? You didn't have that ability. So lucky boy, I say.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Yeah, but it it all comes back to the awareness piece, you know, and using all these tools that we have available to us, whether it's personality assessments or, you know, attending workshops and doing more deep inquiry work about ourselves so that we can improve our relationships, you know.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

And so I don't want to get to the end yet because I feel like I have more questions, but I do want to ask you you mentioned that you take people on um retreats.

Retreats, Virtual Work, And Resources

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Do you have one coming up right now? Are you planning one?

SPEAKER_01 22:37

Um, I actually don't have one that I'm currently doing in the near future, but in 2027, I do want to put together a retreat in the spring for people to come and explore some of these things through the coaching lens and the somatic lens and how we can integrate all of these things. I love taking people to Peru, which you can see in my background. So I want to plan one, an international one there, and then I probably will do more of a local one here.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Perfect. So we'll have your website on the podcast for people to be able to find you. Can you say it one time for us so that they know where it is?

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Yeah, so I have two websites. So my coaching website would be in lightestcoaching.com, and then for all the other healing work would be sacred soulguidance.com. But I will post on there, I do have a re retreat page on both of those sites, so that the retreats would be posted there. And they can always everyone can always sign up for my newsletters, and I usually send out newsletters when I get those going.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

So yeah, so that's a great idea. So go to her website, they'll be on the page. But enlighten us is one.

SPEAKER_01 23:41

Enlighten us, yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:43

So how do you spell that?

SPEAKER_01 23:44

E-N-L-I-G-H-T-U-S Lightuscoaching.com. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

And the other one is Sacred Soul Guidance. Sacred Soul Guidance. Because if you go to those websites, then you're going to be able to sign up for her newsletter and know when these things come out. Because if you're like me, you'll think, oh, I'll remember that. And then you think, gosh, I wonder if that woman's doing that trip to Peru. And you won't remember. So please sign up for her newsletter so you can stay abreast of what uh Tanya's got going on. But she always has stuff going on.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

And they can see you at your practice, which is in Bluffton, South Carolina, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Yes. So in-person practice or virtuolo, virtual for coaching as well. So either of those are available.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

And that's great because you don't have to worry about what state they're from. So anybody from anywhere internationally, because we have an audience of uh gosh, we have 718 cities and 75 countries now.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

Wow, amazing.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Yeah. So um I imagine that many people might want to find you and do this work.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Yes, I do have an old I have an old client from DC that actually I do distance work with her. She's in Dubai. That's always fun to uh work with her. But yes, anyone internationally.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

So

Enneagram Blind Spots And Growth Moves

SPEAKER_00 25:07

this assessment that you sent to me, I was, I don't know that I was surprised when I looked at the nine uh Enneagram personality styles. I was, let's see, our our guests wouldn't know the nine, so it wouldn't help for them to guess. But I was an enthusiastic visionary.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Did that surprise you at all?

SPEAKER_01 25:29

What did you think? No, no, that did not surprise me at all. Um what's uh I do I do have a it actually if I have a very short Enneagram guide that people can actually download uh for free that goes over all the personality styles without even taking the assessment, and I have a short questionnaire assessment on my website that they can do, but what did you feel about your with what it said about the seven? Did you feel that it was on par with like who you are?

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Yeah, I think that what I've always so I've taken the Berkman assessment, and in the Berkman assessment, I'm all blue. It's all creativity. Actually, it wouldn't label me as a therapist, actually. Oh, really? I got television personality, like love interviewing people, and I the birth of the podcast is just my passion. And uh that I'm I'm very big, big idea thinker, but I don't love the details.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

Mm-hmm. Which makes sense because your line of stretch goes into the one which is the perfectionist. So it's all about the details, right? Which is probably uncomfortable for you to do. So yes. So for growth aspect, that would be something that you would kind of push yourself into if you were trying to to grow and expand. But luckily you have people that can help you with those things.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

So well, I do, but I I mean I have to say that starting this podcast, I wouldn't have done it without like a friend keeping me accountable and then stayed on me. And then I said I didn't have any way to do the technology or marketing, and then she said, I have two daughters that do that. So, you know, she kind of eliminated my excuses and uh because they were the details. I could have the vision, but then the the action, right? To to get it started. And then I ended up teaching myself a whole bunch of things that editing and things that I don't really love. So I hired someone to do that.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

Yeah. And so that's another part of the beautiful part about this, right? Is that we know you have the awareness so you can create the team that you need. So essentially you're running your own little mini organization, right? Or business or company, and you have all those players in place to do all those things that frees you up so that you can really be in your true self, which is where your passion is, your joy, and your excitement. And so utilizing that to your advantage. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

And and I mean, I guess knowing my limitations doesn't make me feel less then, but I am definitely, I'm saying this on the podcast. I am making an appointment with Tanya today to follow up because I really I I first of all, there's so much in 24 pages that I would need help processing. I mean, you can read a report, but she's the expert. So I really want to look at where I need the release point, uh, which is something I will struggle with in my struggles. I need to do these things. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Um, so your release point would be where you would go in terms of when you're feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or maybe less feeling less joyful or creative about working in your true self. So you would actually want to move into that five when you are feeling those things. And that will help give you some sense of relief or release.

SPEAKER_00 28:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:58

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

No, that makes sense. So because of my particular my seven, if you will, I would lean into five when I start feeling the frustration or the energy depleting and I want to quit. I lean into the five, and then my stretch point is one.

SPEAKER_01 29:16

Mm-hmm. Which is the details for growth, for growth. Yes. So um, if you were feeling stuck or stagnant, let's say uh we'll just use career-wise, right? So if you're feeling stuck or if you were feeling stuck or stagnant, you would want to move into your stretch point, which it sounds like you naturally did that with the evolution of your podcast, right? I remember you being on my table, I don't know if it was it was over a year or so ago, two years ago, when you were like talking about the podcast, but you're like, I don't know. There's a lot of things that I don't know about, and I don't really know if I have the energy to do all of that. You know, I can remember like conversations and it was very uncomfortable for you, right? Yeah. So essentially in an indirect way, you went into your stretch point by exploring the details and figuring it out, right? You don't necessarily have to be the one doing the details, but you push past your comfort zone. So, in essence, you have grown. Yeah. Because you've fully brought this to fruition with a successful podcast, right?

SPEAKER_00 30:15

Yeah. That's so true. But it is interesting how I could feel the energy going this fall. And I took kind of a hiatus. And um, then once I hired Evan in November, you know, leaning into the fact that this is the part that's not, I didn't know this report, but I did. I like knew of the this is the part that's bringing me down.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:38

And I don't want to quit because I feel great about interviewing, learning from people. I just find people fascinating. So yeah, that's really interesting. I never, I would have never put that together though, without you seeing it.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

Yes. Yeah. And the part of you that, like, when you do get overwhelmed, that more going internal and being more restful, maybe quiet. You mentioned you were in Costa Rica earlier before we started the podcast. So I don't know if that was a part of your essentially, you know, your solitude or your rest. And maybe you did have some awarenesses pop up while you were in that experience on vacation. But those would be examples of things you would want to do during times when you do feel like, you know, tired or bogged down, those are those sorts of things. So for me as the eight, like I move into moving into the intense creative helps to relieve some of that stress or strain. And I naturally find myself doing those things, whether it's making jewelry or drawing or doing things like that that bring out my creative side, it gives me a really a sense of like release or relaxation. So I know having that awareness, I know that I have to build that into my life somehow, right? It doesn't have to be every day, but somehow I need to tap into that creative side of myself.

unknown 31:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

I know

Applying Somatic Tools To Recovery

SPEAKER_00 31:54

you were talking about people in recovery, and I'm just thinking how important it is when people have spent a lot of their time drinking or getting over drinking or thinking about their next drink or any drug, which could be shopping, could be eating, could be a lot of things, right? But um, if they could have this sort of insight into themselves and really focus um their energy in a new place, because we really know that the behavior needs to be replaced so that new um neurotransmitters can start working. Because when I feel stressed, I get creative is very different from when I get stressed, I have a drink.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Right.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Or I eat too much or whatever I do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:39

Yeah. Um yeah, I've done some work with veterans and with PTSD and trauma. And then even some of my clients who are new retirees and they're kind of going a little crazy, especially if they were successful, you know, entrepreneurs or worked at high levels, they almost have this sense of loss or depression. And it's helping them to redirect, you you know, utilizing something like this to help them redirect to how they can get that energy and that joy back. Yeah. And whatever it is they need to explore in order to help their growth, right? Because they're in a new phase of their life. And so tapping into some of these parts of us or these other personality styles to help us with that is key, you know, to healing and um shifting, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

And I think what a what a great idea for an aging population because you're right, like having this big full life, and then most people don't get to do what I'm doing, which I still get to work, but I'm not 40 hours, 60 hours a week. And but then what do you do and have it be meaningful? And I I think that's such a great example of uh a great resource for people who are kind of like, now what? You know, I play golf five times a week or whatever I do, but I need something more because I had more.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

The other part that was so interesting, um, the centers for expression, at the core of how individuals predominantly show up in the world, some people project and connect to their emotions, whereas others are more connected to their thoughts and others their bodies. So my dominant center was feeling.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Yeah, so what's interesting is all so there's nine different personality styles, and we kind of group them in pairs of three. So each, so in each part, there's there tends to be a pattern, right? So eights, nines, and ones tend to be more heavy in their action center. So they like take action very quickly. I'm just gonna I'll use that as an example that I'm gonna do to you as an example. So as an eight, I'm very like, it's the active controller, it's the person that gets stuff done. It's the I move very fast, very straightforward. But sometimes that can be intimidating to people, right? So I tend to take action before maybe I bring it into my heart and feel the feelings behind the next step I want to take, or use my mind, my thinking brain to kind of work through the process. There's too much of a reaction sometimes. So having that awareness that when I'm under stress, I'm gonna probably react very quickly because that's in my nature, my natural sense before I feel or think, which could be a detriment to myself and others, maybe in my relationships. So having that awareness of trying to balance all three of the centers out is key. So you were very high in the feeling center, which is again not a good thing or a bad thing. It just is who you are. And your action center was very low, and your thinking center was sort of sort of moderate. So you tend to act or take action or make decisions from your feeling center primarily. Right. Um that is where it all, or you might get caught up in your feelings or spend a lot of time in your feelings and really be feeling things more than taking action on something. It might take you a bit longer to get there. So I don't know if if that's accurate. So a part of the awareness would be how can I take all those emotions and those feelings and take that a step further into action, which kind of ties into you moving into your one, like the details, taking the steps on things that feel a little uncomfortable. So possibly in some areas you could practice getting more into the action center a little bit more, you know, with things and less in the feeling center.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

So an example would be my husband, uh, you know, Kevin, he is this is how he was pre-imago. He was shoot, ready, aim. And then I was, he describes this, he goes, This is you. Aim, aim, aim, ready, shoot. And it is, it's the way I need to like process things, is you know, I'll just kind of go into like, okay, what's going on with me? How is this gonna influence or impact what I'm gonna say? And a lot of thinking before I say it, you know, very uh and sometimes, you know, I frankly need to just tell people what I feel and and be more honest about it and not worry about their feelings so much and get my out.

SPEAKER_01 37:22

Yeah. So that would be the action part is just moving from that like the intuition gut instinct, just yeah, moving quickly.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Yeah, I like that. So you'll be working with me on that, right? When you're doing my uh leadership coaching.

SPEAKER_01 37:36

Yeah, we'll schedule a uh debriefslash, you know, deeper inquiry.

SPEAKER_00 37:41

Sounds great. Sounds great. Well, is there anything that you haven't shared with our listeners that you really want them to know about your work?

SPEAKER_01 37:50

Um, I would think, you know, the the last thing would be, you know, it's truly my goal to show up as a coach and help people lead and show up in their life and in relationships from a more conscious lens. So operating from really their true self and their true essence and utilizing, you know, all the tools that I have to help them get to that spot. And sometimes that means, you know, just uncovering things that are uncomfortable, but that I'm here to help guide the process in a safe way so that people can really feel that they are taking ownership and taking their power back to make major shifts in themselves and in their life. So yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

And and I think when sometimes when you were talking about really helping people make more conscious decisions and and become really their highest self, I think that maybe, I don't know, but I've heard people say, oh God, she's finding herself, or sort of a critic coming out about that, and that it takes so long. And actually, I I don't I don't agree with any of that. I have to say that we spend a lot of time being unhappy in this world, and that takes a lot of time being unhappy. And what doesn't take a lot of time is saying, hey, I got this thing going on, and I really don't know why I'm not making the podcast, or I don't know why I'm not leaving my wife, or whatever the thing is. Yep. And so you stay in this what we call cognitive dissonance of just being in angst and not making a decision. And in not making a decision, you're making a decision. So invite yourself to do the work. It's not forever. You know, I haven't seen Tanya in a while, and just reconnecting with her today is like, why haven't I seen Tanya in a while? I need to see Tanya. She's she's magic for me. And so, you know, we really um need to acknowledge that in ourselves, not as a weakness, but like what a if you have the means and the resources, like why are we not doing it? It's a better question.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Yes. I don't know. Things are things are life's kind of boring if you're not constantly exploring like yourself and new things and you know, even the people we're in relationship with, right? So it's uh I don't know, it's fascinating, you know.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

It is fascinating.

Fear, Power, And Acting Now

SPEAKER_00 40:08

You know, I have a friend in at Princeton who says most people would rather live quiet lives of desperation rather than have a taste of heaven.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

Mmm.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

Because it's so scary. You know, I I think fear is what keeps us from reaching for the other side. And everything we've ever wanted is really on the other side of fear, but how do we get there? And uh I recently heard this acronym for fear. It was uh future events already ruined. And so, you know, we we get to come to Tanya and talk about our fear. My fear is what? My fear is I don't know, I I didn't want to be powerful because I associated power with people I don't admire, people who are bullies, people who and then someone said, Well, who has power that you do admire? And I had a million people come to my mind and I thought, well, they're of influence, they're not bullies, they they influence people and they they make a difference in lives. And I all of a sudden I had this transformation about how I believed about power, what I believed. So I could then embrace the power within wasn't the picture I had of power anymore.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

Yeah. And people put off, you know, doing the work, they're like, oh, you know, next year, you know, when my kid is X years old or whatever whatever it may be. But recently I've been reframing things for people and asking them, you know, if you knew you were gonna die in a year, like what would you be doing differently in your life right now?

SPEAKER_00 41:49

It's a great question.

SPEAKER_01 41:51

Mm-hmm. Because likely you would be starting to take action on some of those things, right? Because you knew you didn't have much time left. Or, you know, if you could snap your fingers tomorrow and wake up, like, what is it that you really want to be doing? How is it that you really want to feel? Like if you could script your life and have it be exactly what you want without the like pain and suff perceive pain and suffering, right? What what would it be? So getting that clarity is super important because that can help guide your movement and your decisions.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

And that's why I took the surfing lesson in Costa Rica.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 42:24

If I died last year, would I next year would I regret that I didn't do it? Absolutely. Did I break my toe? Sure. But it's better than saying I stub my toe on my furniture. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 42:36

And I'm like, well, I'm gonna do that. I'm either gonna learn. I just said to my son the other day, I want to learn how to surf, but I can't learn how to surf here. There's not enough, you know, waves. Not in there.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

In Costa Rica, the waves weren't so big that I was like, I wasn't in Hawaii, let's face it. Right. So um, they were they were small enough that they were manageable. But Tanya, I thoroughly enjoyed our time together. And as I said before, when we end this podcast, I'm making my appointment with you. And I really urge our listeners, you know, if if you look at Tanya's website, think about scheduling a session. If you live in the area, of course, seeing her in person would be wonderful. But she can do all of this with you virtually, and that's the beauty of this whole virtual world we live in, that we have access to people that we wouldn't normally have access to. So we will see you the next time on the relationship blueprint where you unlock your power of connection. And again, we're all about recovery. We're recovering from fears, we're recovering from addictions, we're recovering from bad relationships. And we get to find that higher self that's really in there already, as Tanya said. She just helps pull it out with the right questions, with the right assessments, with the right body work, and don't waste another minute. We'll see you next time.

unknown 44:00

Uh