Life is Delicious- Mindset Mastery, Midlife Empowerment, Joy, Purpose, Vitality, Inspiration, Women's Health
Ever feel like midlife has you running on an endless hamster wheel of responsibilities while your own dreams gather dust? Is the crazy chaos of caring for everyone else leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed? Are you in desperate need of some self care, balance and reconnection with your most authentic self?
I’m so glad you’re here! This podcast isn't about surviving midlife; it's about crafting a next chapter overflowing with purpose, joy, and delicious possibilities.
I'm Marnie Martin, a multi-passionate entrepreneur, daughter and a hot midlife Mama (literally) and over the last decade, I've been through career pivots, a divorce, and I survived the empty nest, only to have it fill up again. I spent the next several years travelling miles and miles every month to care for my elderly parents and my time and attention was so torn in every direction that I lost track of who I was, and I found myself in an endless cycle of people pleasing, putting out fires and running on empty. I know how it feels to be stuck in chronic overwhelm, stress and chaos and trust me, it's not a pretty picture.
I decided that it was time to take MY OWN life and health back and I worked hard to reclaim my health through radical self care practices, recalibrating my nervous system and setting healthy boundaries that allowed me to start living my life "on purpose" again. I'm here to show you that midlife doesn't have to be a crisis, but instead a beautiful invitation to remember who we are, to rediscover a new version of ourself, or to completely re-invent our life to reflect who we are becoming now-intentionally crafting a life by design that truly nourishes our soul. If you are ready to take back YOUR "Joie de Vivre", then you are in the exact right place!
Each week brings conversations with health and wellness specialists, spiritual growth experts, and guests with courageous and transformative stories that will inspire you to break free from the overwhelm. You'll walk away with practical strategies, meaningful insights, inspiration and the permission to prioritize yourself again.
We were born to thrive and experience life as the delicious feast it's meant to be. Subscribe now and join a community of midlife women who are turning up the volume on their inner voice and writing their own recipes for a life that feeds their soul.
Life is Delicious- Mindset Mastery, Midlife Empowerment, Joy, Purpose, Vitality, Inspiration, Women's Health
17: FATHER'S DAY EDITION -Discovering Your Hidden Gifts. A Coffee Chat with My Dad Burton
What would happen if you discovered a natural talent you never knew you had? That's exactly what happened to Burton, who found himself unexpectedly thrust into the role of an artist when his sign business's cartoonist suddenly left. This discovery completely transformed his business and his entire approach to work—leading him to realize he "never worked a day in his life beyond that."
In this special Father's Day episode, I sit down with my dad Burton to launch our new monthly series "Coffee with Burton," exploring the concept of "show-through talents"—those innate abilities we're born with rather than skills we've learned or earned through effort. Our conversation travels from Burton's early artistic awakening to his midlife pivot becoming a caricature artist, capturing strangers' personalities along with their unique features and sense's of humour.
The stories Burton shares about his caricature clients are absolutely heartwarming—from the couple whose suggestive "boating" reference he playfully captured (who returned the next year with a baby), to drawing a woman in a wheelchair with jetpacks to bring her adventure-loving spirit to life. These experiences highlight how creative expression creates meaningful human connections.
As Burton wisely notes, "If you can just get past that mindset to the place where you can take the time to do something that you absolutely love and start to implement that into your life... it changes your life completely." Whether you're considering a career change or simply wanting to bring more joy into your days, this conversation will inspire you to honor your natural talents and be sure not to "Die with your music still in you".
Ready to express your unique gifts? Listen now, and discover how stepping just outside your comfort zone might lead to your most fulfilling chapter yet.
As we all know, life isn't always delicious, and one of the only constants we have in life is that things are always changing. Life can be a beautiful mess of twists and turns and as we grow through each unique season of life, our needs change, our goals change, our priorities change and our responsibilities change. And sometimes, when the really hard stuff shows up, as it inevitably will, we can find ourselves lost and without a clear direction. Sometimes that can happen when we've had a huge life transition, like a divorce or a diagnosis, or we realize that our babies are all grown up and ready to be out on their own. And sometimes it can be a subtle or not so subtle restlessness that tells us we're ready to step into a bigger, bolder, more authentic version of ourself. But one thing is for sure we can't transition into what's next happily until we get really clear about what's weighing us down, what lights us up and what we truly want. When our soul whispers its truth Happy is Not an Accident is a guided journal created to bring you back home to your truest self, to remember who you are and to give you a safe place to explore and reflect on where you've been, where you really want to go and who you want to become now, with deep, inspiring prompts, thought-provoking questions and powerful exercises to help you excavate your most authentic self. Happy Is Not An Accident will be the daily ritual that you look forward to as you step into this next awesome chapter of life. Give yourself the gift of self-reflection and create this beautiful life of yours on purpose and with intention. Get your copy, or one for somebody that you love at lifeisdeliciousca forward. Slash happy.
Speaker 1:Hey, beautiful friend, welcome back to Life is Delicious. Today we are doing something a little bit extra special. I am doing a Father's Day episode and I actually am super excited because I've got actually one of my very favorite people in the whole world here with me today, and unfortunately he's not here with me in person, but, as you might be able to guess, it's my dad and his name is Burton, and we are going to start a new little series called Coffee with Burton that we'll do once a month and it'll just give you a little bit of a window into our relationship, and he's got a ton of wisdom to share. So we're just going to have a really great conversation and I hope you enjoy it. Hey, dad, nice to have you here.
Speaker 2:Well, it's nice to be here.
Speaker 1:Happy Father's Day, by the way. Thank you, dear. So we've been talking as we do all the time. For most of you that don't probably know much about our relationship, my dad and I have kind of been armchair philosophers as long as I can remember, and we will sit up into the wee, wee hours of the morning and talk about all kinds of things spirituality and gratitude and philosophy, and just all kinds of great possibilities and ideas.
Speaker 1:So we were talking the other day about a concept that we talk about quite a lot actually, and it's called show through talents, and I love show through talents and they're the kind of thing that you didn't learn and you didn't earn. It's something that you were born with, and my dad and I are both very super duper creative people. So today I wanted to talk to him a little bit about his show through talent, and that is his artistic ability. So, dad, what do you think about show through talents? Obviously, you found yourself as a young man realizing that you had this talent, that you just knew that you could foster that and hone it. So when did that start for you?
Speaker 2:Well, it's funny because I didn't intend to be an artist of any kind but I ended up taking a course commercial sign writing and that kind of got the whole thing started. And I had some staff. I had one fellow that was an incredible cartoonist and he worked for me and then one day he decided to go on to some company down in California and now I had all these customers and I didn't have any way to have somebody to do the work. And we just thought about that for a minute and we said, well, I'm going to give it a shot and I have to take over and do it myself because we've got customers waiting in the wings.
Speaker 2:So the first few times was pretty scary, but quickly realized that it's something you should have been long ago or before and it just all of a sudden happened and I didn't have any choice. So I hopped in the saddle and started doing the artwork that we needed to do in my shop and it changed my whole life. It changed the dynamic of how I worked. It changed a lot of things how I worked. It changed a lot of things, and it also what was really also interesting was that all of a sudden it started. My business started to make money because I could start soliciting that kind of work and knowing that we could put it together and do it work. And knowing that we could put it together and do it.
Speaker 1:Isn't that something when we have those moments where you know it's not a planned thing but we just, you know, life kind of has an agenda and says, here you go, you can do this, and so you step up to the challenge. And it's amazing the things that we can actually accomplish when we rip the bandaid off and give it a shot.
Speaker 2:That's a fact. Yeah, I've always felt that I could do just about anything. I mean, that was just kind of how I was brought up, knowing that there were no limitations. If you wanted to do something and you wanted it badly enough, you could somehow make it work. That's how I got into the sign business in the first place, because that's really a creative business and it's an artistic business. But it's a little bit different from freelance artists to be a freelance artist. It's hard to explain, but all of a sudden one day you just realize that hey, this is you and you can do this, and we never really look back after that. Once you understand that you have this ability and that you can go for it, good or bad, and then you foster that and you get better at it because you're working at it. It just changed my life and I never look back after that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's amazing how the resilience factor when you and, of course, when we're trying something new like we're going to fall on our face every once in a while and we're going to make big mistakes but unless we actually forge through those mistakes and I know for sure from watching you in your sign shop and from growing up in that environment that I know for sure that there were lots of times that you hit huge roadblocks and you were like, well, I got to figure out how to do this, so you would MacGyver it and come up with a new way or design some other kind of gadget that would make it easier, and you just kind of figured it out along the way. And that's kind of the fun part about being a creative person, because over the years, after you do that often enough, you start to really be able to trust in your ability to figure things out that's the truth, and but I was just thinking while when you were speaking there that I almost never looked for a job.
Speaker 2:I always felt that I wanted to be self-employed. And it's a different mindset altogether, because when you're self-employed you see all kinds of opportunities that you don't look for when you're an employed person, because then they employ you and now you're doing that specific job, but all of a sudden the lid comes off and you can go in any direction that you want, and it was so. It was really exciting, and after that it just felt like I never worked a day in my life beyond that.
Speaker 1:I love that so much. Yeah, and and you know what I think 100%. That's why I am in the position that I'm in now, because I know I was an employee for many years. I had a bunch of different jobs. I worked in the restaurant industry, which I was the boss in that particular, but before that I had actually worked as a server in lots of restaurants and I just kind of found that being an employee for me personally, I felt like I was kind of in a box Because, like you say, there's only one hat that you really wear. And, as a creative, for myself personally, I really thrive when I'm wearing more than one hat, usually two or three at least, and that's where I shine right and I know you're the same way. That's where I shine right and I know you're the same way, and I'm sure that a lot of that came from me watching you figure things out and excel at things and try new things, which was awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and sometimes the things you try don't work. But as long as you're willing to take a bit of risk and go for it anyway, it's amazing what you can do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you just put your mind to it, it's amazing. You surprise yourself and you go. I can't believe. I just did that, you know, and it really stretches our abilities. And I think it's too bad when people are afraid to step out on the edge and live on the edge or just a little bit outside the box, because that's really where your best self is. It's just outside.
Speaker 1:Just outside the comfort zone. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, that's one of the things I like to discuss and bring to light here on Life is Delicious like to discuss and bring to light here on Life is Delicious because you know, if you're not growing and changing and expressing yourself in every single way, you know there's just so much more joy that you can extract from life when you're kind of taking some of those risks.
Speaker 2:I think so. That's how I've basically lived most of my life after that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I didn't need any guarantees. If it looked like it's something that I should be able to do or that was needed doing, you just jump in with all your feet and away you go, and sometimes it collapses. Feet and away you go and sometimes it collapses. And if you're not afraid of the risk, it's amazing what you can accomplish. We're given these talents. I I believe that we're born with a lot of talents and abilities that that we aren't even aware of until we need them in our life, and as long as we aren't afraid to accept the fact that we need them and we have this ability, we can go anyplace. We can do anything, and it's really just about mindset that's what it really is is convincing yourself that you can do this.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think what's really interesting is that when you look at it from and that's why you know you and I talk about show-through talents, because those are the things that generally come really easily to you.
Speaker 1:And we're taught in society maybe less today than we were years and years ago, but we were taught in a lot of society that you know you need to struggle. And so I know for sure I went through phases where I'm like, well, I can't do that for a living, like that's just too easy. You know, like I should probably be grinding or hustling or you know, and that's just the culture that we have been brought up in. And so you know now, when you look at these things that come naturally to you, like maybe you're an amazing photographer and maybe you have an ability to speak with people that inspires them, like it doesn't have to be necessarily painting an art class, it could be all kinds of things and you don't even have to do it for a living. Now you certainly can, but I think when you're given these show-through talents, I think one of the most important things you can do to honor yourself is to express them in one way or another.
Speaker 2:I absolutely agree with that, Because just about everybody has. Well, maybe everybody is born with abilities that they never knew they had, because, as they're growing up, first of all, there's no slot for that. You know, for your show through talent, if you will, and we're taught to follow the road and not to deviate because that's going to shake something up, and so we just sort of move those talents and abilities that we have and stick them in the back burner somewhere. And I talk to people almost every day about there's people that say, well, I did a lot of artwork before, but I'm just a poor, starving artist and I said don't ever say that to me again, because there's no such thing as a poor starving anything.
Speaker 1:That's a mindset right there. Yeah, absolutely. And a lot of people that have more than one talent. They'll say well, I'm not a jewelry maker, I'm an accountant, but I just make jewelry on the side. Or I'm a lawyer, but I teach music lessons on the side. You can be both things. You can be an accountant and a jewelry maker. You can be a lawyer and a music teacher. And if that's something that lights you up and makes you feel good, then you should absolutely do that and own it and speak it out loud and don't be afraid to go off the beaten path, because that's where all the good stuff is.
Speaker 2:That's exactly right. It's amazing, once you take that first step I'm going to say outside the box, that's used a little too much sometimes but once we do that and realize that it's okay and how it feels, and allow yourself to accept that talent that you have and to nurture it, man, it can change your life in a heartbeat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they even say that, for people who are able to express, play whether it's a creative endeavor like an art class or learning a new language or taking up a sport like pickleball or something like that it engages your brain and your senses in a different way and actually there's scientific studies that show it actually helps you to live longer. Oh, I didn't know that, but that sounds like a good idea. There you go, there you go. Well, I know that one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you about this particular topic today is because I just got to thinking the other day.
Speaker 1:You in your life you were a sign painter and then you were a window painter and you painted murals on various restaurants and hotels and buildings and everywhere. So you had a very diverse career as an artist. But then, I know you did a bit of a left turn and I started to think about it and I think that really happened in midlife and that is when you decided to become a caricature artist and I know I had a little bit of something to do with that. But maybe tell a little bit about that story and how you started leaning into that and then what the next step was.
Speaker 2:I was always fascinated by watching somebody be a caricature artist, because that's different from being a regular artist. A caricature artist brings out the features and exaggerates them in some ways. Some people go really overboard with it, but just even in subtle ways it's a little bit different kind of likenesses.
Speaker 1:Dad, just before you carry on, could you explain just in a really nuts and bolts kind of?
Speaker 2:way what a caricature is for the listeners, in case they don't know. When you look at a person and we all have features on our faces, particularly faces, let's talk about that you recognize a person by the shape of their nose or the shape of their eyes, or if they have a crooked tooth or something, and these little things help you to recognize that person, that exact person. And what a caricature artist does is they take those little features. You learn to see the differences and so you learn to take those features and exaggerate them and make them front and center so that you instantly recognize the person. And it's really quite a lot of fun to do it and it's a lot of fun for the people if it's done in good faith and done properly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if somebody has a bit of a sense of humor, but most people so, for the listeners, if you're not 100% familiar, it's almost like a cartoon likeness of the person, with a little bit of an exaggeration on, maybe, what their features on their face might be that make them recognizable. And sometimes I know for you it wasn't just the facial features, but that was a part of it. And then you took it even a step further and added in personality stuff. So yeah, so tell me, you know, let's talk about how you got into that and like, was it scary for you to try something that was a little bit that far left of the center for you?
Speaker 2:Yes, that was scary actually. But my daughter, marnie, who you always knew, I kind of wanted to do that or thought about it and you were working at a place in California and you sent me a book on how to draw caricatures and I looked at it and it was just fascinating and I think it got me in the right direction, to where, all of a sudden, I'm going to figure this out and I'm going to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was working at this really great little restaurant in Los Angeles called Mimi's Cafe. It was a French bistro and they had a bar that would, you know, go in the front where with stools, but you know, people would come in and sit by themselves and maybe have a bowl of oatmeal or coffee or breakfast. And there was this one gentleman that used to come in and sit at the very end of the bar and that was my section, so I can't remember what his name was, but he would bring in his sketchbook and he would just start drawing the staff and he would draw customers that were sitting next to him and he would just chat everybody up and he would have this really cool interaction with people. And I just got to really get to know him and his story and I thought, holy moly, my dad could do that, and I think that's what inspired me to buy you that book.
Speaker 2:It certainly got me going in the right direction and I when I think about getting started in that business so it was. That was a little bit scary, because it's one thing to be able to do that and it's another thing to be able to sit out in public and do it in front of a crowd. So I wanted to be able to master this. So I actually sat at home, I sat down on the floor and used my coffee table as a table and in front of my TV, and I would draw the people on TV, on the commercials, on shows, and I'd draw and draw, and draw and draw, because I wanted to learn this until it was second nature and I could do it pretty well. And then I had enough courage to. As a matter of fact, I didn't have the courage. My wife says, by the way, I booked you in to do caricatures at the fall fair and I went no, I'm not ready.
Speaker 2:Good for her, yes you're ready, so you're booked. She said who's got to do it? Well, it was very scary the first few times, but it was also so much fun that I knew that I had to do it. And so that was the beginning. And then from there it just blossomed and I got phone calls from people I had to put up business cards. Tourists would come through, you know, when they're on their way to Vancouver, they're on their way someplace. They'd grab a business card and I was getting these calls to come in and it was. It just blossomed.
Speaker 1:I know and I love that mom actually did that, because she had a way and you had a little bit of a perfectionism thing where you wanted everything to be absolutely perfect before you would actually start. So I think that was really sweet of her to see that you just needed a little kick in the pants to get going. So tell me about. I know when we talked you would have some incredible stories of the people that you would draw and you know, and then people would come back year after year to come to a festival and get their picture done more than once. So can you remember any particular people? Yeah, tell us a few of those stories, because they're super cool.
Speaker 2:First of all, when somebody sat down in front of me, I would start off by saying okay, so what do you do when you're having fun? What do you like to do when you're having fun? That's I mean mean we're now down in the park or we're in a festival and they're out having fun, and so this is a good question to ask. It also gives you an idea of what the person is all about, and you now have something to relate to them with. It gives you all kinds of answers. I I'd say well. They might say well, I like doing this, or I like doing that, or I like you know, or whatever, Snowboarding or yeah, yeah, canoeing or whatever.
Speaker 2:Then I would incorporate that and I would draw them on a snowboard or whatever they were doing. And some of the some of the stories were really really quite funny because they're you know, you'd catch them off guard and they'd say something. You'd draw that in the picture and they went oh no, no, no, I didn't mean that, of course. That's exactly what they meant and it was always fun. What was really interesting is that I started to have people come back year after year and in some cases there would be a set of four or five people that were there at the fair and I didn't think anything of it. But they showed up again next year and so I said, oh, you guys are back. So I'm doing their picture again and again and again and year after year, and it was just interesting to see how things changed in their life. And a couple of them had said to me it's amazing, you know, you're getting better and you know. And I said, really good and it was well, I had a lot of people saved the caricatures from year to year and it was just really too, because you get to know the people and that was the most fun I ever did just trying to make money, I suppose. But I didn't do it. You don't do stuff like that for the money, you do it for the relationship with the people.
Speaker 2:I drew caricatures of people that didn't even speak a lick of English and so I mean, that's just an experience right there. Then another time there was a fellow and a nice looking lady were walking by and they stopped and looked at my booth and so they nodded and came in and I didn't realize till after the fellow sat down and we're talking about things. I didn't realize he was totally blind, and as soon as I realized that I said well, he had said you do a nice job. Now I said how are you going to know? You'll never know whether it's good or not. He said I'll know, don't you worry, I'll know. It was just that kind of relationship with the people and it's well. First of all, he was a good sport, and I know that he's a good sport, or he wouldn't have sat down and interacted with me Exactly.
Speaker 1:I think most people that sign up for a caricature have to, you know, have a bit of a sense of humor, because that's the whole point is, you're trying to capture that moment when they're there, and it's a bit playful for sure.
Speaker 2:There was all types of individuals and all kinds of people. It was just the most fun I ever had all my life.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's cool. Is there any particular other person besides that guy that really sticks out in your mind? That was super fun Because I know there was a few stories you told me.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, there were some. There was a couple one time came by and they were kind of giddy. They were a young, a young couple, I'd say, mid-20s, you know, and so I said what do you like to do when you're having fun? She says I like boating. And then you know, she looks over at him and he snickers. And then he said I really like boating. And then, you know, she looks over at him and he snickers. And then he said I really like boating. And so I'm trying to figure out what's going on here.
Speaker 1:You're reading between the lines.
Speaker 2:I'm reading between the lines and I drew them on a boat with a blanket over them, so I kept it in good taste, of course. Anyway, did you kept it?
Speaker 1:in good taste Of course, anyway. Did you nail it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they just went bananas. When they saw that they went because they didn't think that I was getting it right. And next year they came by who's rolling a baby carriage? I said I knew it. I knew it, I knew it. You guys have been doing some extra bo, said I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
Speaker 1:You guys have been doing some extra boating. I see.
Speaker 2:But that kind of thing is just a paraplegic or quadriplegic. And she was. I said so what do you do when you're having fun? She said that's my opening line. And her mom said they took her up mountain climbing, or I said in her wheelchair. And she said yep, they pushed her up the hill and you know, and she just had a fabulous time. So I drew her in this wheelchair with jetpack coming off the back and it was just so. When I finished she looked at it and went yeah, that's the thing, and it just. You know you make their day doing that and it's so neat.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so great. Well, I'm so glad that you ended up doing that and getting to express yourself in that way, and I know we've been talking about you possibly doing some more of that right now and picking that back up for you. We've just recently moved my dad and my mom into an assisted living for the listeners that don't know, and it's a beautiful spot and it's such a lovely place for them to be and unfortunately, my mom passed in January, so now my dad's there. He's got some great friends and everybody really appreciates it, so it would be really fun to see you picking that back up.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm working on some ideas and it's going to be fun. I'm here for the rest of my life, so I'm going to make it worthwhile.
Speaker 1:I love that. So, Dad, what kind of advice would you give someone who's maybe at a crossroads in their life and they're maybe in the middle section of their life and needing just a little bit of a push to express themselves or to step just a little bit of a push to express themselves or to step into a bigger version of themselves? Do you have any advice for that?
Speaker 2:Well, I do know that because I've been talking to some folks in here.
Speaker 2:You know that there's a lot of there really is truly a lot of people that have artistic ability and some of them have a little more artistic ability than others, but they still love to express it and but they're always afraid that they can't spend too much time doing it because they have to make a living or whatever it is.
Speaker 2:You know, now in this place they're not trying to make a living so much anymore, but when you talk about what they did for a living and so on, you know everybody wants to have a job because you need a paycheck and so on. You know everybody wants to have a job because you need a paycheck. But if you can just get past that mindset to the place where you can take the time to do something that you really absolutely love and start to implement that into your life, and once you make a little bit of income from that, it changes your life completely. It really does you realize that, hey, I have this ability and I didn't even know it. And as soon as they let go of the needing to do something that keeps them in the box and they get beyond that, all of a sudden, the lid comes right off and your life changes almost immediately.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree. Yeah, dad, and I have followed Dr Wayne Dyer for most of our life, and one of the phrases that he has in one of his books is don't die with your music in you. And that certainly isn't meant to be a morbid reality. What that's meant to be is an inspiration, because whatever your music is, like you say, you could have a story to tell. You could have you might just be great with children. Maybe you are able to communicate with people and help them to just listen. You know, there's all kinds of different gifts and all kinds of different music for us all to express, and I think, if we can allow ourselves the opportunity to step into our creativity and our joy on a daily basis, that everything just gets so much better. Don't you agree, dad?
Speaker 2:I absolutely agree with that. And even if you have a regular commitment like a job for, and once you do that, it will change your life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree, I remember I think it was Steven Spielberg, I can't remember, but I remember it was a big screenwriter like that who wanted to create movies, and I think he had to get up at four o'clock every morning and write for three hours before he went to his day job. But he committed to doing that so that he could have the life that he dreamed about having. So I think there's always a way to sneak it in, whether you get up an hour earlier or you carve it into your weekend.
Speaker 1:There's always a space for something that brings you joy and lights you up from the inside out. Dad, I have absolutely enjoyed chatting with you today, and you know what it's so special to be able to spend Father's Day here with you and have a chat about this stuff. We're going to do a lot more of this. I hope so. Yeah, keep an eye out for some other episodes of Life is Delicious, the Coffee with Burton edition, and we've got all kinds of really great things to talk about, so we'll be bringing you more of that very soon. All right, dad, you have a great rest of the day and I will talk to you soon, love you lots.
Speaker 2:Love you too, sweetheart. Thank you, you, you.