Life is Delicious- Mindset Mastery, Midlife Empowerment, Joy, Purpose, Vitality, Inspiration, Women's Health

39: Offline On Purpose: Rebuilding Our Relationship with Social Media with Mari Wuellner

• Marnie Martin- Midlife Mentor, Empowerment Coach, Happiness Expert, Best Selling Author • Season 1 • Episode 40

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A riverside Airstream with zero cell service became the digital detox I didn’t know I needed. With no bars and no pressure to post, the urge to document every beautiful moment faded. What replaced it was deeper: a full-body exhale, a simple meal by the fire, the quiet joy of reconnecting with myself and listening to my inner knowings. That unexpected reset opened the door to a powerful conversation with coach and entrepreneur Mari Wuellner, who took a 90-day break from social media to rebuild her relationship with time, self-worth, presence, and connection.

In this episode, we explore the hidden cost of constant connectivity—how social media drains attention, disrupts sleep, fuels comparison, hijacks dopamine, and slowly steals the pleasure of doing things for their own sake. Mari shares how “engagement metrics” once defined her value, why stepping away felt like a small death, and how, week by week, she rebuilt her "In Real-Life" connection: more phone calls, more coffee dates, more presence with her family.

One of her most powerful insights: when her teen realized she wouldn't post him, their moments together softened. Trust deepened. Real connection returned.

If you’ve ever felt the joy drain from cooking, parenting, or travel the moment you start filming—or noticed you're performing your life for the camera—you’ll recognize this trap. We offer practical, sustainable digital wellness strategies:
• delete and re-download apps only when posting
• keep Facebook on the laptop instead of your phone
• move your phone out of the bedroom
• set a nightly screen cutoff
• curate your follows to reduce comparison & emotional clutter

If you’re craving a gentle reset, Mari’s five-day social media detox provides simple prompts to help you run your own experiment—no guilt, no moralizing, just honest data: how you feel before and after, where FOMO kicks in, and which tiny shifts return the most peace.

With AI polishing everyone’s highlight reel beyond reality, discernment and boundaries matter more than ever. This episode is your reminder to design a digital life that supports your real life, not the other way around.

If this resonates, follow the show, share with a friend who needs a reset, and leave a review so more midlife women can find these conversations. Your insights help spark the next episode.

FIND MARI WUELLNER HERE:

5 Day Free Social Media Detox Challenge: https://mari-wuellner.mykajabi.com/unplugged-5-day-social-media-detox

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mariwuellner/

Find Marnie Martin here:

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Email: marnie@marniemartin.com

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SPEAKER_00:

Hey beautiful friend, it's Marnie. Welcome back to Life is Delicious. I don't know about you guys, but I definitely I probably worked a little bit more than I should have this summer. And I c I was really aware of it. So I decided that I was gonna take myself away. I was going down to visit my kids, and I th thought I just need like a night to myself somewhere where I can just like unwind and just really recharge my batteries. So I found this really beautiful airstream trailer that was right along the Cowichan River. And it just looked like the perfect spot to chill out and sit by the river, maybe go for a swim. And so I booked it. And on my way down there I was running late because I had more work to do. And unfortunately I didn't get there quite as early as I hoped I would. But when I did get there, the most interesting thing that happened is just as I drove into the parking lot and got right behind the Airstream trailer, all of a sudden there was no service. And I went, Oh, okay, well that's fine, because I'm not really working while I'm here anyway. But the owner came down and showed me around and showed me all the different places, and he said, You can come over to the house if you need to, you know, get into the Wi-Fi signal. And I was like, Okay, no worries, and didn't really think much of it. And so I went and I sat down by the river in a big Adirondack chair, and I took my Sudoku and a glass of wine, and I was just relaxing and dipping my toes in the water. And then I started taking pictures of all the most beautiful things that I was seeing there, and just the most lovely surroundings, and trying to send these pictures to my friends and my kids, and I went, Oh, yeah, I can't do that. And then you know, a few more minutes would go by, and then I'd go, I should just check the map for tomorrow and see how far I have to drive to get to this particular place. And then I went, Oh yeah, I can't do that because I have no Wi-Fi. And so this went on probably, I'm not even kidding you, at least a half an hour where I just I couldn't stop checking my phone. And I couldn't uh just sit there and not be constantly attached to sharing my experience with somebody or Facebook or whoever. But then something wonderful happened. And about half an hour or an hour after that happened, uh this oh right. I can't do that. How awesome is that is what washed over me. And it was really, really cool to to witness and to see it happen. So I took my phone, I put it inside, I plugged it in, and this airstream trailer was really cool. It was right out on on the side of a family's property. But they had built this beautiful outdoor kitchen with a barbecue, all stainless steel. There was an outdoor shower and then they had this beautiful area with a propane fire pit and two more Adirondack chairs, and they left marshmallows, and it was just it was really well thought out. So I just took myself in and made a beautiful dinner, or out, I guess, to the barbecue. Made a beautiful dinner, sat in the chair and lit the fire. They even had those string of lights along the building that was there, so it just had a beautiful twinkly ambiance. And I just relaxed and I sat there for hours and watched the stars come out in the sky and I watched some bats fly overhead. But it was so beautiful to just be there with my own thoughts, and I honestly had no idea how much I needed that. And it wasn't that I needed to just get away from work. I actually needed to unplug from the world. And so the next morning I got up and made coffee and I just sat in bed, went for a little walk, and then I sat in bed with my journal. And I think I did three hours of just stillness and quiet. And it was a beautiful deep dive into my dreams and my goals and some thoughts that I didn't even know I had. And it was just a really wonderful time, and I'm so grateful that I did it. But the reason I tell you this story is because it was something that just happened spontaneously, and yet I think it was meant to happen, and it was a beautiful gift. And that's why I'm super excited to share with you our guest for today. Her name is Maudi Woolner, and she is a feisty entrepreneur. Okay. She's a life coach and founder of The Crew, which is a coaching collective. She's a multi-passionate business owner who's intentionally designed her life around her core values, family, impact, freedom, and growth. And this summer, Maudi took a three-month social media sabbatical that transformed her relationships, revolutionized her business, and changed how she shows up online. Now she helps others examine their own relationship with social media and helps them to create boundaries that actually work. She's a podcaster, a real estate investor, and a self-proclaimed curious student of life. And her mission is to be a catalyst for others to realize the magic of a life truly lived on purpose. And I'm so grateful to have her here today. So if you're ready to transform your relationship with social media and to show up differently in your business, your life, and your relationships, then stick around because you're not gonna want to miss this.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. You know, whenever I start to tell this story, I get a little, maybe a lot self-conscious. It feels vulnerable and maybe even a little embarrassing to say that social media was having a pretty big, pretty negative impact on my life, my well-being, my mindset, my emotional state. And it was because of that that I decided to throw the baby out with the bathwater and walk away from social media and just to see, just as an experiment for 90 days, just three months, to see what would happen if I didn't scroll, I didn't post, I didn't share, I didn't comment, I didn't like.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I totally understand that. And I think even the most self-aware of us, we still can fall into that trap. It's it's a real thing. And I think that's why this conversation is so important, especially right now. You know, as people get into the new year, they want some change and they want to go, what didn't work this year? And why am I feeling so heavy? So this is really pertinent and I think really timely as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I completely agree. One of the things I keep hearing over and over is I'm so busy. I'm so busy, I'm so overwhelmed, life is chaotic, things are hectic. And I just say, you know, whenever I hear that, I really, really encourage you to take a look at your social media relationship. If you're feeling busy, I I know a pretty simple way to get back some time.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I agree. I want to get into that. So let's talk about what was really going on in your life. And, you know, when you say this is really vulnerable and embarrassing, you know, I've heard this from several people. And I think even some of the smartest, most brilliant, successful women I know have come to this conclusion and have found this space where they can find balance and still use it a little bit, but they've found a way to create a boundary around it that works for their life. And I don't think it matters whether it's social media or toxic humans in your life or bad decisions or whatever it is. Those boundaries matter. Yes. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, it's it's boundaries are what we put into place, I think, when we have relationships, relationships with people, relationships with uh substances, relationships with social media and decisions, like you mentioned. And yeah, even the smartest, most brilliant, most self-aware people, man, I'm gonna invite to look at the boundaries because our brains are not built, our bodies are not built to fight an algorithm, to fight the way social media is set up with the dopamine hit. And um, I know for me, um, I'm I'm pretty pretty strong, pretty strong person, and wasn't strong enough to put up um boundaries right away. And so I needed to step away entirely to see, to see if that would help. And then what I've done when I've when I've kind of stepped back into the world of social media, I have decided to do it with intention. So for me, I don't have Facebook on my phone ever. It is a tool, it is a strategy for business growth and business development that I have on my laptop. And so the boundary is I just do it while I'm working. And that feels like it it works well for me with Facebook, Instagram. I deleted the app. And whenever I'm gonna post or share a story, I'll I know it sounds like uh labor intensive and maybe sounds like a waste of time, but really honestly, it's gotten me so much time back. When I'm ready to post, I'll download the app, post what I was gonna wanted to share, and then delete the app right away because I'm still just so tempted to head to that icon, even though I know it's not serving me right now.

SPEAKER_00:

You know what's really fascinating though is that and it's kind of too bad because there is some beautiful things that can happen, like you say, for business growth and things like that. But it's kind of too bad because the rhythms or sorry, the algorithms are set up to be addictive. And so even when you don't want to, and I mean, we're all guilty of this, where sometimes I'm just sitting for a minute and I go, you know, oh, I'm just gonna have a quick look, right? And you're like, oh my gosh, there's 45 minutes of my life I won't get back, or you know, maybe longer than that, but it's just set up that way. So even the strongest of us, we it's set up to manipulate and it works, right? So I think that's brilliant that you're doing that. So let's take a step back and let's go back to your journey before you did the 90 days. What was going on in your life that caused you to say something really seriously has to change?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. You know, when you are in a situation and you can't see the forest through the trees, that's where I was. And so these insights and aha's, upon reflection, looking back, I can say now this is what was going on. But honestly, I was kind of just in the middle of it. I didn't know how it was affecting me. But now I can say what was going on was it was sucking time and energy away from my relationships, for sure. Um, I would hop on the app and instantly start to not only compare myself, because that's just so easy to do, start to forget who I am and and question my identity in the silliest of ways, Marnie. Like, I'm not a cook. But I would be on the social media going, is it time I learned how to make sourdough bread? Like, no kidding. Like, what? That that is not me. That has nothing to do with my desires or my passions. This is um what it was doing was having me question who who I was and what I like to do in my spare time. And so relationships, um, comparison, questioning my identity. And then when it comes to comes to self-worth, this is the biggest one because I've always used uh social media to share stories, to share my insights and aha's. I am a self-proclaimed curious student of life. I love drawing through lines and insights from just day-to-day experiences. And when I started my coaching practice, you know, back in 2017, I would share stories and I got wonderful responses. And women would write back, you know, thanks to you, I dot dot dot. Thanks to you, I started running again, or thanks to you, I left a toxic relationship, or you inspired me to uh travel solo. And it was so joyful. It was so fulfilling knowing that my vulnerability, my stories, my insights were having an impact on women. And that was wonderful. And I kept sharing stories over, you know, the next eight years. But with the algorithm and everything changing, the platform completely, you know, changing who sees what and how we use it as well. The likes stopped coming in, the comments stopped coming in, and it really was affecting the value I was placing on both myself and my content. And that for me was in that moment the biggest insight because I would write it to share a story and like kind of like a spaz, just be checking the social media to see if I got any responses. And as the day went on and there wasn't much engagement, I started questioning the worth, the worth of my content and the story and my insight and myself. And so that if I'm gonna take you all the way back, that was the catalyst that started all of it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and that that seeking that external validation constantly, that also becomes very addictive and also very false, where, you know, we're just looking for somebody else to say, hey, I think you're important, you know, as opposed to knowing that internally and being able to say, what I have to share is great. And if somebody sees it that it matters, great, but it's not everything to me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's where the vulnerability and kind of embarrassment comes in because I'm gonna use air quotes here, we're not supposed to care.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and you know what, you're totally not alone in that. So, you know, and you know that from all of your coaching clients, you're, you know, helping people also navigate through that world. So I love that, you know, that's that vulnerability. And and thank you for sharing that with my audience because I'm sure a hundred percent there's a lot of people that feel the same way and just haven't been able to identify what it is that is is eating at them, you know, that's just not allowing them to have peace.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, and and it's so interesting that external validation. I remember about a week into my, I call it a sabbatical, my social media sabbatical, I had this feeling and I I I divulged it to my therapist. I said, Oh my gosh, I feel so much like this feels so dramatic to share one week off social media, but morning, when I said, and really what it felt like is like I had died. Uh, I had removed all contact or connection, whether it's real or false, from the people who I was seeing, again in air quotes, every single day. And I also want to share with you and your audience that I was an avid poster. I mean, I'm talking uh post a day for sure, at least five stories, just constantly sharing my whole life experience on the social media. And all of a sudden, my life became irrelevant. And that you hit it right on the head where you say external validation. And I didn't know it was as prevalent as it really was until I stepped away and had this feeling like I died.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow, that's crazy, right? I know. But super important to be able to take the um self-awareness and say, I I don't know if this is a good idea, but I'm gonna try it and just see what happens, and to be able to walk through it with curiosity and say, this feels really uncomfortable, but I feel like I'm maybe onto something.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and that's exactly what I would encourage everyone to do with if you're gonna, you know, do something with social media or anything. That curiosity piece is so brilliant. It's like, you know, just experimenting with life and goals and things like social media. And and maybe, you know, before you head into it, you um draw a hypothesis. Like, I'm gonna run this experiment and here's what I think is gonna happen. And whether that happens or not, we're all we're we're not tied or tethered to the actual reality of what happens through the experiment. Everything becomes just data. It is no, there's no morality with these experiments that we're running anymore. And that I think was key for me is using it as an experiment and getting curious, as you said. And it kind of left, it left me off the hook a little bit as I was becoming self-aware. There was a little bit less judgment or shame around these feelings that were so dramatic, like I felt like I died, things like that.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Well, it's so interesting because I love to cook and I'm I think I'm a pretty good cook and I'm I'm really happy in the kitchen. That's one of my happiest places in the world. But so I start watching TikTok and I'm like, wow, like these people are making some. And I go there and get great recipes, and I'm like, oh, I could do that. And so I started because I was just kind of in this journey of kind of bringing myself out into the world and kind of launching the podcast. And, you know, of course, the podcast is life is delicious. So I was like, there's gotta be a food component. So I started taping when I would cook. And I thought, well, I mean, they can do it. I mean, I can I got good ideas, I can put it out there. And I tell you what, it took all of the joy out of cooking for me. 100%. Every time I was like, Oh, I'm gonna mix this thing and I'm gonna, okay, I gotta get the right camera angle and I gotta get the lighting right. And and I I did it for a couple of weeks where I was really trying hard to figure it out. And then I went, you know what? This totally kills the joy factor in the kitchen. So I went, no more. And I just went, that's not my jam.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that story so much. And I love that you shared it because what we're gonna see on TikTok, any, you know, your social media of choice, whatever it is, what we're gonna see is it's fun, it's perfect, it's joyful, and that should be the experience had by all. And so when we attempt to fit into that box and we don't have that experience, whatever it is, we can assign, you know, good or bad, uh, success or failure to to something when in reality it's just an experiment and we're all different. So I just love that story so much.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And it surprised me to be truthful. I really, I thought, oh my gosh, like this is this is totally my lane. This is I'm gonna fit right in here. It's gonna be super easy for me to just get in there. And I just went, This is so hard. And like, no. So it was I was really surprised by that. But I was happy with the decision at the end to go, you know what? I think I'm just gonna cook. And you know, maybe I'll post a picture once in a while, but I'm not doing the whole thing because it's just not fun.

SPEAKER_01:

And I don't know how many of these lives we get, but as far as I know, it's one. And if we're not having some sort of fun and joy along the way, whew, that's gonna be a tough one. Tough.

SPEAKER_00:

It's a long ride. It's gonna be a long, beautiful ride. Yeah, and I agree with that. And I'm I live by that philosophy, and I think you do too, where the choices that we make for everything that we do in our life has to for me anyway. And I think some of that has come in midlife is just being able to be really clear about the choices that I make and where I spend my energy and my time. And I think that's exactly what you're talking about with this, you know, social media detox and how powerful it can be for you to actually reconnect with the things that actually matter to you.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. It was, it was um pretty, yeah, pretty eye-opening. Um the things that matter to me, you know, a family for one. I have three kids and only one's at home now. The other two are launched, and I'm, you know, as we all know, time just flies by. And I'm realizing I only've got, you know, three more years, and then we're empty nesters. I better soak it up. And my youngest really hates social media. Like he'll be on it, but he hates my social media. He hate he doesn't want ever to be posted. And um one of the one of the things, one of the insights or aha's that I had was that he became more comfortable um taking photos with me over this sabbatical and beyond because, or if I busted out the video, uh, you know, the my phone to take a video of him playing guitar or whatever. He had utter confidence that it wasn't going anywhere near my social media and I I wasn't gonna be posting. And that was an interesting aha. That was an interesting, like, oh, experiencing life in the moment with these people that matter most is actually more important than the perfect photo that I might post later.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And every once in a while I'll see a friend of mine who's gone on a vacation, and then their story will have like 75 photos. And I'm like, are you even on the vacation right now? You know, like feels like maybe you're like just posting photos and you're maybe not on the beach, you know.

unknown:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And I'd say that was me. It would absolutely, absolutely. And you know, on the flip side of that, you know, fo we post our best, right? At least we we do. I think we post our our best. If I took four photos of myself, I'm going to post the one that looks the best. And so remembering that we're seeing the highlight reel, and I know we've all heard this, but what do we do with that? What do we do knowing that we're just witnessing the highlight reel and this FOMO factor is going to affect us, whether it's vacation or food? I was recently at a retreat and I was telling one of the women about this experiment. And she said, Oh my gosh, I would love to do that. I already know it's gonna be a horrible weekend. And I said, What do you mean a horrible weekend? It's Friday. It hasn't even started. She's like, Well, there's homecoming this week. I said, Okay. She said, Well, my kiddo's not going. They decided they don't want to go to homecoming. And I know I'm gonna see all my friends posting all the pictures of their kids dressed up, having so much fun, looking absolutely stunning. And I'm gonna, and I'm gonna be real sad about that. And that was uh such an interesting conversation to be a part of because it was almost like, oh, I'm consciously deciding to look at other people's lives knowing it's going to make me feel a certain way when the kiddo didn't even want to go to homecoming in the first place.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. It's interesting how our priorities shift, you know, and and so much of it is that, like you say, it's not, you know, what you look like in the morning. You don't even get behind a camera until you put your makeup on and you do all the things. And it's like it's not always a true depiction of what real life actually is. And so it really does create uh a real shift in the way we see what's how we're able to show up in the world.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and like, God, I saw this influencer the other day. She posted her morning practice. I love my morning routine, I love it so much. She posted a picture of her coming out of her bathroom, her bed's made like with military precision. She's in a bleach white, puffy robe with like no toothpaste splatters on it. And then I look at her face, Marty, and she's completely done up. And then she curls up in bed and she pretends to journal. And I was like, oh my God, what is this? This is BS. I'm calling BS on this because for the normal, uh, yeah, the normal person who maybe wants to start a morning journal practice or morning, I don't know, meditation practice, and and we don't look like that. I don't know. It's just expectations, unrealistic expectations is setting us all up to fail.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

It's like the Hallmark version of your morning routine.

unknown:

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00:

Right?

SPEAKER_01:

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_00:

But you know what I love that you said is um how powerful that is that your teenager feels safer with you taking videos when he knows he doesn't have to be a part of your, you know, identity online. You know? I mean, that's powerful. That's really powerful. And I hope that a lot of the people listening will really take that in for a minute because that's what matters. And my mom actually passed away in January of this past year, and um we had her celebration of life in July. And I took some photos of the place that we were staying because it was beautiful. But that whole weekend, we got a few family photos, but that entire weekend I made a conscious effort to not spend the entire time on my phone. And while I may have missed some beautiful photo ops, I felt like coming away from that weekend, I felt like so present with the people I was with, and it was the most beautiful experience, and I'm so grateful for that.

SPEAKER_01:

What a beautiful story. I am so sorry to hear of your mom's passing. And God, to to make that conscious decision to be present with the people who loved your mom most, and to step away from that having such an amazing experience. That's that's inspiring to me because we get to make that choice every day.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's a huge piece. We just, I mean, here in the United States, you know, we just sell some of us just celebrated Thanksgiving. And Marnie, I almost did this. I didn't, and it probably that's probably a good thing, but I almost put a a sign on my front door because we were hosting that said no phone zone.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, I think that's you know, that's super cool. And I think that's okay. I I think if you had done that, yeah, that the people coming into your place with boundaries would say, Hey, you know what? I just want you to be here with me. I don't care if we have a hundred million photos of us together. Because I'm gonna remember that you looked me in the eye and we spoke to each other and had this really genuine moment, and that's the magic. Stay tuned for a quick word from our sponsor. Let's face it, you need energy to hit the gym, grind out a long workday, get through those midterm exams, or chase your grandkids around the yard. What you don't need is caffeine, sugar, artificial flavors and colors, or other chemicals from energy drinks that leave you with the dreaded afternoon slump or a downright crash in energy. The Boost Superpatch is designed to offer a clean energy alternative for athletes, students, executives, and busy moms and dads who need an all-day energy lift. It's safe, all-natural, non-invasive, zero calories, and 100% drug-free. Superpatch uses vibro tactile technology to stimulate the skin's neural response through a unique pattern similar to a QR code that sends signals to the brain and your nervous system to stimulate and elevate your energy levels. You can get 25% off your first order at lifeisdelicious.superpatch.com. Naturally power up your day with the Boost Superpatch and enjoy peak performance and clean energy that lasts. That's lifeisdelicious.superpatch.com for a 25% discount. Okay, back to the show.

SPEAKER_01:

It is the magic, and even, you know, I even with kiddos around and getting bored and grabbing mom's phone or whatever, it's like, you know, there's nothing wrong with the kiddos being bored. You know, there's nothing wrong with putting our phone down for a little bit. There's really nothing wrong with not getting all those photos, like you said. The 90-day sabbatical, I mean, at first it felt like my connection, my my connection with folks was diminishing at first because I didn't know what folks were up to. I and I equated not knowing with lack of connection. But as the weeks went on, I started realizing who was reaching out and who I was reaching out to. And I was having more phone calls, I was having more happy hours and coffee dates. All of a sudden, my in real life connection and visits and conversations dramatically skyrocketed and increased. And that was an unexpected side effect of the sabbatical that it, and then upon hindsight, it's like, oh, that's actual true connection. What I thought I was getting from social media, just knowing what folks were up to, that's not.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And you know, I think that's a really important thing to acknowledge because I'm a single gal and I live alone. And I think, you know, I remember the days when somebody would phone you and you would go, Oh my gosh, I wonder who's on the other end of the line. Yay! Now the phone rings and you go, Who's calling me? Like, why? You know, or you go, they didn't text me first to ask if it was okay to call, you know. And then and we're kind of hardwired like that now because so much of our life is online that the in real life stuff, we've kind of lost touch with it and become out of practice.

SPEAKER_01:

Ooh, that is such a great way to put it. We have gotten out of practice, and I'm gonna take it a step further. We've gotten out of practice with being okay with the in-between moments of life. One of the other side effects that I noticed is how my propensity to pick up my phone and go to social media in these in-between moments. So standing in line at the grocery store, waiting in line to pick up a kiddo, gosh, at their football game, you know, maybe in between downs, these 30-second, two-minute in-between moments where we're so uncomfortable, we're so out of practice. I'm going to take that. I love how you said that, with being in real life, even in just the shortest amount of time. Where, gosh, if you didn't pick up your phone and you just said, hey, how's your day to the person next to you? That's getting back into the practice. But we're so uncomfortable with this. It's it's absolutely mind-boggling when you when you tried this experiment.

SPEAKER_00:

100%. And I mean, I'm I am guilty of that. I definitely hide in my phone a little bit when I'm out in public. And I'm not a shy person. So I'm quite happy to talk to people, but I think again, it's just it's the way we've been conditioned. And you see so many people in a restaurant where, you know, whether it's teenagers or a couple out on a meal together and they're both on their phones, and you think, are you having a date or are you just, you know, killing time, you know, because you're hungry, you know, which is a totally different experience than having a connection with one another. And so there's so much of that. And I think even what you said earlier when you were, I mean, us as adults, we're we fall prey to that, where it's just like, oh, I'm here for a minute and I don't know, I'm in the bank and I don't I don't really want to, you know, look anybody in the eye. So I'm just gonna pretend I got stuff to do on my phone. But for your kids, like you said, they're also prone to that. And you do you remember the days when we were younger and we got bored? You know, when we got bored, we got creative, we found things to do, and our kids don't have that same experience, and the next generation down won't either, because there'll be this constant stream of entertainment that comes. And I it always makes my heart just like in my stomach kind of turn over when I see a family in a restaurant, and then all of a sudden they hand their three-year-old toddler an iPhone just to keep them quiet while they eat. And I think that kid will never learn how to just be with them, you know? And it's just it's scary, it's kind of scary.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and you know, Marnie, unfortunately with social media, as soon as you look at it, you are you're you're basically turning over your emotional state, right? To whatever the algorithm wants to put in front of you at that moment. And same with the kids. So for our kids who are on social media or allowed to look on TikTok or YouTube or whatever, it's the same thing. So whatever emotional state they're in entering the scroll is going to be hijacked by whatever they see. And there is a lot of crazy stuff happening in my country and the world right now that it just didn't feel healthy for me to have my kiddo. The older adults, they can do whatever they want, but the the younger one to be on for a while. And it was only because I was off that I felt okay requesting that he put his social media down for an extended period of time just to kind of recalibrate the everything for a little while. And so, you know, the kids are watching us, they're watching how much we're picking up our phone, and and it felt really good to be able to say, I need you to step away for a while. And he was like, Okay, no problem, because he knew I was.

SPEAKER_00:

I love that so much. And that, you know, what a great mom you are, because honestly, you know, they are watching us, but the one gift that we need to be able to give our kids is for them to have that time to look internally or to be alone with themselves and to become comfortable with their own um company. And I think because social media is so addictive that quite often if any of our kids have any kind of anxiety or you know, they're trying to work through some mental health stuff, the first thing they do is just shoot right back into social media because it's easier than feeling the uncomfortable feelings. But we have to feel those feelings in order to get to know ourselves.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Spot on. Spot on. And then when you don't have social media, it's like you get all this time back, and then as they're processing, there's more opportunity for conversation. It's insane. I mean, we all know how to look at our screen time, and you all get hours and moments, and and I really truly believe like magical things kind of start to happen when you look up in your in your life.

SPEAKER_00:

That's such a great way to put it when you just look up, because you know, how many of us are gonna end up with sore necks and shoulder problems just from looking at our phone all day, you know? It's really it's insane. But that's such a beautiful gift that you gave to your child to be able to say, let's you and I do this together and let's see what comes of it and let's just try it, you know? And that's something that was just like, wow, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And, you know, my husband saw the awesome impact it was having and was like, I'm gonna try that. Now, it didn't last long. I mean, but he but he tried and it was really interesting because he started having the same sort of insights, like, oh my gosh, it was so crazy. I went to pick up my phone five times that last hour and I had forgotten. And I was like, Yep, the same thing happened to me. It was eye opening that first week, uh, how habitual um and automatic the reach for the the phone and the attempt to go to the icon, it's just ingrained. It's my brain hadn't even decided what I was doing.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, yeah, and I know um for me, and I've I've heard a bunch of information about how having your phone on your side table at night is, you know, kind of a bad idea. And so when you wake up in the middle of the night or early in the morning, the first thing you do is reach for your phone and all of that cortisol and all of that, you know, you're all already before you even got out of bed, you've stressed your body out. And so I was I'm making a conscious effort not to do that. And I had a friend I was just talking to recently, and I said, um, they were express expressing that they were really having trouble sleeping and just like winding down. And I happened to notice that they were pretty attached to their phones. So I just said, you know what? Uh I've I've tried this for me and it really helps. So just you know, doing 30 minutes of like before bedtime, shutting all of the screens down and putting them to the side and just uh, you know, leaving them till morning. Put it on do not disturb. So if somebody is gonna send you a text or whatever, you're not gonna miss anything. Like life's gonna go on. And uh it was crazy. They said, Oh my gosh, I have slept better in the last two nights than I've slept for like the last six months. And it I think all had to do with the phone being put down and just not being stimulated to the eyeballs before you go to sleep.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, absolutely. And sleep is the pillar of all of the health. And if we can impact that, oh my gosh, we're We're all winning.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so great. Okay, so let's let's do a quick little um give us some tips on how we can I know you have this amazing five day detox challenge that you have, and we will link all of that into the show notes and let people uh you know know about it. Tell us a little bit about what that is, and then let's walk through a few steps on how maybe we can implement some just quick strategies to start maybe thinking about letting some of those things go.

SPEAKER_01:

I I created this five-day free detox because so many people, once I got back on social media, were like, How did you do it? I need to do it, tell me more. There's no way I could do it, but I want to do it. There's there's so much curiosity, there's so much interest that I thought, okay, what if I put together just a very, very simple email challenge? So it's five days of emails that you'll get every single day, just with some prompts. And this is a detox. So this is not a throw the baby out with the bathwater like I did. This is just uh, you get to decide what that detox looks like. Maybe it's reduced screen time, maybe it's taking the apps off of your phone, maybe it's getting off of it for a day. It's completely your experiment, uh, 100% up to you. And then the the emails are going to have prompts to have you think about um things like what's your awareness? What are the insights? How are you feeling? And really to help that curiosity happen in just five days. So that's what the the detox is. The first thing, the first tip that I have is like if you're curious at all, that's an invitation to just explore and um analyze the relationship that you have with social media. So maybe it's journaling about how it how you felt before you picked up your phone and journal after you pick up, you know, you put down your phone and see how you feel. Did anything change? Maybe it's unsubscribing or deleting any accounts that don't bring you joy. Just, just, you know, just scrub, scrub your social media and anybody who's kind of getting too too crazy to whatever for you makes you feel a certain way, get rid of those people. I'm also mostly plant-based. And so when people ask me what to do about like, I want to cut out meat, I say, you know, try meatless Monday, just one day a week or whatever. Maybe that's it. Just one day a week, you don't go on social media and and see what happens. And the coolest thing is, is there's no right way and there's no wrong way to do social media. It's just if you are leaning into this conversation going, ooh, when Maddie said this, oh, when Marnie said that, I felt that. I felt a certain way. I I might be overindulging. I do want to explore my relationship with the apps. Choose an experiment and run it. There's there's really no one size fits all.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, 100%. Because we all we all have different uses, some more for business, some more for personal. Um, so yeah, there's so many different ways to slice it. So that's a a great way to do it. And I'm always a big proponent of, you know, just just doing something in a small way for a short time consistently and seeing how it feels because quite often that's where really big change comes from. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely, absolutely. If you just take Marnie's tip and just put your phone not on your bedside table for, I don't know, an extent, you know, 21 days or 10 days and just see what happens. That's the perfect little experiment to run. And it's and it's pretty simple. It's probably not going to be easy at first. We can all acknowledge that. And it's also pretty simple.

SPEAKER_00:

So, what else do you kind of explore through your five-day detox?

SPEAKER_01:

Honestly, it is very simple. It's going to be, you know, how many times did you reach for your phone? Uh, are you feeling FOMO? Uh, what do you wish you could have posted about? It's just realizing how you're using the app and um exploring what comes up. And some people are like, yeah, it wasn't really for me. I'm fine with social media. And other folks are like, I'm I'm done with Facebook for a while after the five days, because then it's your life. You know, we're all adults, we get to choose what we do. But this is a really great invitation and a great just Kickstarter to the awareness piece.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And you know what? Perfect time of year to do it because we all want to try new things. I'm not a huge, you know, um, fan of the resolutions because I think they're, you know, people kind of jump in with both feet and they're not really ready to do it. So just taking this five-day detox will give you some just awareness enough to sort of go, what kind of boundaries do I need to create for myself or for my family that will feel good stepping into a new year and how we can have maybe a little bit more of a healthier relationship with our social media. Absolutely. Oh, this has been so fun. What a juicy conversation and so important for probably the majority of people listening. I think everybody can get some value from this because we're all trying to navigate what this new world looks like. And now with AI, it's gonna be a whole new thing for sure. But I I was just thinking to myself as you were talking how funny it was. I remember when Facebook first came out and my husband was really into it, and he was posting stuff and getting it, and I I went on it and I I was so confused. I was like, why am I looking at a picture of some guy's sandwich that he had for lunch? Like I just didn't get it. And now it's become the norm in our culture to go, hey, this is and I'm I'm guilty of it too. Here's what I ate for lunch, or here's this new recipe I made. But it's just insane and it's such it's just such a different way of being. And we're stepping into even more of that as we go into this, you know, next year.

SPEAKER_01:

We really are. And you know, the radical move now that I mean, it was a radical move uh back then to post your sandwich, right? It was like, oh my god, nobody's doing that. The radical move now is to, is to step away, right? Is to is to really just put up the boundaries in whatever that looks like. And yes, it is a new world with AI. And you and I already touched on this, like, you know, we're only seeing the highlight reel. Well, now we're not even seeing real. We're not even seeing real images. And so in they're almost some of them are so good they're impossible to tell the difference. As you mentioned, it is a beautiful time to just get curious.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so great. Well, I encourage everybody listening to jump on board to the five-day detox with Mauti because she has some amazing wisdom to share and she's lived it. She knows how it feels, and she absolutely has some great value to share with you so you can actually experience the joy of seeing what that looks like for you.

SPEAKER_01:

Wonderful. Thanks, Marnie.

SPEAKER_00:

I hope you enjoyed today's episode. I hope it inspired you or motivated you in some way to keep going and to create your very best life. Wanna know what to do next? Share this episode with someone that you love who maybe just needs a little more delicious in their life. Join my free Facebook community over at Mindset Mastery for Midlife Women, where like-minded women come together to support and inspire each other, and where we get to hang out together. And I offer cool bonuses, videos, and some extra content. And lastly, don't forget to subscribe so that when new episodes drop, they'll be queued up and ready for you. And if you're ready to take a deeper dive into mastering your mindset, I invite you to come on over to lifeisdelicious.ca forward slash work with me, where I offer limited one-to-one coaching sessions, and you can sign up for a free discovery call with me. In case no one has told you today, there's not one person on this planet that is exactly like you. And the world is a better place because you're here. So thank you for being here. I'll be back next week, and I hope you'll join me right here on Life is Delicious.