The Power of Gratitude: How One Small Shift Can Rewire Your Brain

Ever catch yourself thinking, “I have to do this” all day long? Those small, familiar thoughts might be quietly draining your energy. In this episode, we’re exploring one of the simplest, yet most powerful mindset shifts you can make: shifting from “I have to” to “I get to.”

It might sound small, but this reframe can completely transform how you experience your daily life. By shifting from pressure and obligation to presence and gratitude, you begin to regulate your nervous system, rewire your brain, and reconnect to joy - even on the hard days.

You’ll learn:

 ✨ How your words shape your energy, emotions, and nervous system
 ✨ The science behind gratitude and neuroplasticity
 ✨ Practical ways to integrate this mindset shift into your daily routine
 ✨ Why living from “I get to” energy changes your relationship with yourself and your life

This episode is your reminder that you don’t have to grow, heal, or show up today.. you get to.

Connect with Erin!
Follow on Instagram:@ebbsandflows222
Send me an Email: erinebbsandflows@gmail.com
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Transcript

Ebbs & Flows (00:00.025)
You know those days when everything feels like a chore, like I have to go to work, I have to work out, I have to clean, I have to meditate, and before you know it, life just feels heavy. We all do it, it's so common to live in the I have to energy without even realizing that it's draining us. But what if we shifted to I get to? I get to move my body, I get to take care of myself, I get to show up.

for the things that I once prayed for. It's such a simple change in language, but it completely transforms the way that we live and experience life. So in today's episode, we're talking about how this one small reframe can change everything from your energy and your emotions to your sense of gratitude and connection. So take a deep breath, settle in, and let's explore the power of moving from I have to to I get to.

Hello and welcome to Evs and Flows with Erin or welcome back to Evs and Flows with Erin. I am your host Erin and as always, I'm so grateful to have you here with me today where we are going to talk about a very small shift, a simple reframe that will genuinely change your life for the better in more ways than one, scientifically, neurologically, spiritually, energetically, and we're going to get into how. As I mentioned in the intro,

It's the simple shift from I have to, to I get to. Now we've talked about mindset shifts and reframes many times before on this podcast. And the truth is that the language that we use does affect our energy, the state of our nervous system, and the way that our brain is wired. So these things that sound so simple, maybe too good to be true, maybe it sounds cringe to you, whatever it might be.

The fact of the matter is there's so much proof that the language you use with yourself and with others in your mind and out loud does have an impact on the way that you experience this life. And as I said, we're going to get into why. And most importantly, simple practical ways that you can practice this shift. Now the reason that I wanted to talk about this topic today is because it's something that has, well, like most things I talk about on this podcast, truly, genuinely and tangibly.

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impacted my life for the better has made positive change in how I experience this life, the way that I feel, the way that I think about life, the way that I experience life. But it's something that is kind of a constant practice, especially for me being a highly sensitive person. I've talked about before many times where I, for most of my life, felt like I was chronically overwhelmed by life in general. So it's easy to feel stressed out by day to day life.

where you're moving from, my God, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this. And when you stop and realize the things that you have to do that you're stressing out about having to do, when you shift to, I get to do this, personally have experienced the many different benefits that come from that simple reframe of language mindset shift. And when I was thinking today, what do I wanna record my podcast on for this week? I always have a list of topics that I feel inspired to talk about, but I also like to tune in with myself and ask like,

What am I feeling really compelled to talk about? What have I personally been experiencing that I can talk about right now? Because I feel like that's when I connect the most with the audience and can deliver the most value. And this was one of those things, because even when it comes to this podcast, something that I dreamt of having, that I love and am so passionate about and grateful for, it turns into something where I'm saying,

my gosh, I have to record an episode. have to plan an episode. I have to edit and get my episode out. I have to, I have to. And that immediately makes it feel like something that is a chore and that you're being pressured to do and it's an obligation. So it's stressing you out where I can shift into, I get to do this. I get to plan a podcast. I get to choose a topic I want to talk about and share with the world, whoever wants to listen to it. And I get to talk about it.

and share my voice and have the access to resources that allow me to connect with so many people and have these conversations. I get to make the time to do this. And every time that I catch myself and pause and make that shift, I always notice the difference even just in my body and how I feel. I less tense, more relaxed. I can breathe easier. I can move easier. I feel more positive emotions, feelings. I feel more present.

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So we're going to get into the energy of both the I have to and I get to do mindsets. But that is why I'm talking about it today, because it's something that you kind of have to constantly practice, but you will always experience a benefit from. And we'll get into this, but over time it's rewiring your brain so that in the long term it does become more natural for your brain to operate from a space of gratitude and presence and

joy and I get to rather than the negativity and the pressure of I have to. So let's get into it. The energy behind I have to. Just the words I have to carries pressure, resistance, obligation. It activates our stress response and detaches us from presence. And this is subconscious. It's not like you need to get upset with yourself for saying or thinking I have to do this.

There are things that we have to do in life. That is a fact. But it's also a fact that it triggers us to feel pressure and stressed out and like we're behind before we've even began. And like there's not enough time to get everything done because I have to do this, I have to do this. And the language detaches us from feeling like we have choice in our life, which as human beings, we want to have choice. We want to have authority over the way that we're living our life.

So the language of I have to do this subconsciously makes us feel like we don't have a choice and like it's obligation and pressure and we want to resist doing things that we don't have a choice in. So for example, I have to go to work. I have to exercise. I have to meditate. I have to go visit my grandparents. And the reality is that a lot of the time we are living very busy lives and it does feel like there is pressure to do more and more and there's

hustle culture and it feels like there's not enough time in a day. So it is easy to feel like there's too much to do on our plate and we can become resentful of the things that we have to do. And again, you don't want to beat yourself up for noticing this pattern or feeling this way because it's how we are wired to feel in this energy. And a lot of the time living in the have to energy comes from survival mode, past conditioning from your childhood or

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past traumas you've experienced, or even burnout. This can be why it can be so hard to heal or make any change or growth in your life, because a lot of the time it's underlying conditioning. There are reasons you're living in survival mode that can be difficult to break out of, because it is familiar and our nervous system, our brain wants to stay in the familiar.

Your brain will always choose a familiar hell over unknown peace. That is something I read recently and I was like, whoa, that's a really good way to put it. It's not that you as a person are addicted to stress or drama or chaos, but your brain and your nervous system in a way are because that's what it's known. Whatever pattern you're stuck in, that's what it has known and it doesn't want you to change because that feels scary and unsafe to your nervous system, even though healing and growing and changing is actually the best thing for you.

So it can be hard to break out of these patterns. That's why I love sharing simple shifts in language that do make an impact. Catching yourself in the I have to energy and shifting to I get to. Because when we're stuck in the I have to energy, it just keeps us in a low level stress state and reinforces burnout and disconnection. And we don't want that. And it doesn't have to be that way. For example, the statement or the thought,

I have to work out. Feels like punishment. But switching to I get to move my body feels like appreciation and empowerment. So what is the power behind I get to? As I've said, there's an energetic and emotional shift that happens when we reframe tasks this way. We feel more appreciative, grateful.

present, empowered, like we have a choice in what we're doing in our life and recognizing the privilege for the things that we get to do in our life. It can bring you back to remembering your why behind why you're doing what you are doing in your life and shifting into a space of gratitude literally rewires your brain and reduces stress hormones. So now I do want to read directly from a resource because we're going to get a little bit scientific here, but just so you can hear.

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the facts behind why gratitude is so powerful and how it genuinely can rewire your brain and change the way that you experience your life. So the science behind gratitude rewiring the brain lies in neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to change and adapt in response to experience. Regular practice of gratitude strengthens specific neural pathways leading to structural and chemical changes that promote positive emotions, reduce stress,

and enhance overall well-being. Key neurological mechanisms of gratitude are the activation of reward centers. So gratitude activates the brain's reward pathways, including the nucleus accumbens, oof, and the ventral striatum. I am not Dr. Andrew Huberman. I might not be pronouncing these things properly. But speaking of...

There is a whole Dr. Andrew Huberman podcast episode that is like three hours long, the science of gratitude and how to build a gratitude practice that I would recommend listening to. If you're interested in the science behind why gratitude works, I know that I personally love to know how and why behind things. I love a deep dive, so I love Andrew Huberman. But anyways.

This triggers the release of feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which create feelings of pleasure, happiness, and contentment and reinforces the grateful behaviour, creating a positive feedback loop. Gratitude also calms the stress response in the brain. It helps to regulate the body's stress response by decreasing activity in the amygdala, the brain's fear and stress centre. This leads to lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

and activates the parasympathetic nervous system rest and digest response, promoting relaxation and a calmer emotional state. Gratitude strengthens positive neural pathways. When you repeatedly focus on positive aspects of life, you reinforce the neural circuits associated with positive emotions and thoughts while simultaneously weakening those tied to negativity. Over time, this makes it easier for the brain to default to a more optimistic perspective.

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and hormonal influence. Gratitude also affects other hormones and bodily functions. It activates the hypothalamus, which regulates essential functions like sleep and metabolism, leading to better sleep quality and improved overall health. It also influences the release of oxytocin, a hormone crucial for social bonding and trust, which strengthens relationships.

And finally, modulation of the prefrontal cortex. This practice increases activity in the medial prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex regions associated with emotional regulation, decision-making, social cognition, and empathy. A stronger MPFC helps manage negative emotions like guilt and shame and fosters a more positive outlook.

In essence, consistently practicing gratitude is a form of mental training that leverages neuroplasticity to build and strengthen the neuro foundations for happiness, resilience and social connection. Okay, so that was a lot. But like I said, I love to know the how and the why behind things. So I think it's important to share the actual science behind why gratitude is powerful. Because I know sometimes you can hear these things and think, that sounds like

woo-woo or cringe or wishful thinking, but it's not. There is a reason that this works and I've personally experienced it as well. So I am happy to be talking about it today. But also important to say here is that this is not about toxic positivity. It's not about dismissing your hard days or your hard feelings. It is okay to be genuinely overwhelmed sometimes. It is okay to feel stressed out.

to feel maybe resentful. It's okay to feel any emotion on the spectrum of human emotions or feelings, but this reframe, this practice is simply about reconnecting to presence. As hard as it might feel sometimes or unnatural as it might feel sometimes, there is always going to be benefit in acknowledging whatever reason you have to be grateful in the present moment. And there is always something to be grateful for.

Ebbs & Flows (13:45.757)
And I promise you that if you try this and you just make an intention of moving from a more present, grateful space rather than pressured, resentful space, you will notice a tangible, positive impact on your life. Okay, now most importantly, how can you practice this in daily life? Number one is awareness first. It's always awareness first. Noticing when the I have to comes up in your thoughts or your self-talk.

Next, pausing and reframing. Replace I have to consciously with I get to. And notice the difference in how it feels to make that shift. And then anchor it in gratitude. Reflect on why this task, responsibility or opportunity exists in your life. Because another possibility is that maybe you are doing things in your life that do serve you no good or no purpose. And maybe they once did, but they no longer do.

So this can also help you take inventory of your life and help you to notice what maybe you need to readjust or reassess, let go of, bring in, because there are a lot of things that we have to do in life, but we're doing them for a reason. It is serving us and our life in some sort of way, like working. It allows you to pay your bills and go on your vacation or buy

the food that is in your pantry. There are things that we do have to do. The reframe of I get to do this helps you to notice the why behind why you are doing these things. But if there's something where you stop and you make this reframe and you realize there's actually no way that this is serving me at all, then okay, maybe you find a way to let that task responsibility go.

And finally, you want to integrate this into your healing, into your day-to-day life as much as possible. Anytime you're feeling overwhelmed, or you're feeling lost or disconnected in life, or resistance to doing something, you can use this shift to reconnect to your why and do an audit of what you are doing and why you are doing it. Because the why behind why we're doing things

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is most important. And if you are someone who either just likes to reflect on a question or journal it out, I will offer you a prompt that you can use that can help you with this shift. And that is to ask yourself, where am I viewing something as a burden that could instead be an opportunity? Actually, another prompt that I want to offer, whenever you're feeling overwhelmed by a task, a responsibility, an opportunity,

is to ask yourself or to journal out what is this allowing me to create, learn or experience. And finally, something that you can do is list three, I get to moments from your day at the end of the day or in the morning. For myself personally, I like to do my gratitude journaling in the morning and I simply write, I am grateful for at the top. And then I just bullet point out.

what I'm grateful for that day. But when I'm really in a season of overwhelm or feeling lost, disconnected, this can be helpful. Identifying specific I get to moments to help you with that reframe and help you to shift back into gratitude and presence and realign with what is allowing you to live the life that you want to live. So the next time that you catch yourself saying, have to pause for a second, take a breath.

and see if you can shift it to I get to. You will be amazed at how that small change softens your energy and reconnects you to gratitude, even on the hard days and in the hard moments. Because really, the truth is, you don't have to do any of this. We don't have to do any of this. We get to. You get to grow, to heal, to show up, to live this life that is still unfolding for you.

And that doesn't mean that everything will always feel easy or joyful. It just means that we're choosing to see life as something that we're actively participating in instead of something that's happening to us. So as you move through this week, I invite you to notice when this language does show up. Where can you shift from pressure to appreciation? Where can you remind yourself, I get to be here?

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Thank you for listening and sharing the space with me today. If this episode resonated with you, I would love for you to share it with someone who you think could maybe resonate with it as well. I would love to hear from you with your thoughts on the episode. And if you're looking for other resources to help stay present and grounded, you can always check out my other resources and offerings always linked down below. I am so excited and grateful because I have a few guest episodes coming up soon.

And I'm so excited to share these conversations with you guys. So thank you for listening. I'm sending a lot of love and gratitude and I will talk to you next week. Bye bye.