From Fight or Flight to Self-Expression: A Creative Conversation with Grady Wallace

In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Grady Wallace - the full-time artist behind Rad Originals.

Grady shares what it’s really been like to build a life around his art, the pressure that comes with putting your inner world on display, and how returning to curiosity and play has helped him stay connected to his vision. 

We talk about the moments of doubt that come with any creative path, the seasons where you feel pushed into fight-or-flight, and how turning toward self-expression can help you move through those intense states with more honesty and intention.

This episode explores:
• what it takes to trust your creative voice
• the emotional side of making art
• burnout, discipline, and reconnecting with your “why”
• how intuition and self-awareness shape your work
• Grady’s new show “Fight or Flight” and the story behind it

Whether you consider yourself an artist or not, this conversation is for anyone who’s ever felt pulled toward something bigger than themselves, anyone who’s had to rebuild trust in their own ideas, or anyone who’s trying to reconnect with the part of them that just wants to make something for the sake of feeling alive.

I hope this one inspires you to show up for yourself, and your ideas.

Connect with Grady/RAD Originals:

Instagram: @g_radoriginals

https://www.radoriginals.ca/

Visit Grady's Fight or Flight Art Show on November 29th at FOOSH Downtown Edmonton Location @  3PM - 10PM.

Connect with Erin!
Follow on Instagram:@ebbsandflows222
Send me an Email: erinebbsandflows@gmail.com
Book a Reiki Session With Me!

CHAPTERS

02:27 Reconnecting and Creative Journeys

07:06 Balancing Creativity and Business

12:36 Designing Public Art: The Mural Experience

17:16 Manifesting Dreams Through Art

22:19 The Personal Nature of Artistic Expression

28:59 Creative Blocks and Overcoming Challenges

33:09 Nostalgia and Its Influence on Art

37:23 Balancing Creativity and Responsibilities

38:57 Finding Inspiration in Mundane Tasks

41:39 Authenticity in Relationships

46:15 Celebrating Milestones and Progress

48:32 The Courage to Create

50:10 Expressing Emotions Through Art

52:35 The Journey of Self-Discovery

54:25 Manifestation and Letting Go

1:00:11 Embracing Creative Flow

01:02:13 The Godzilla Metaphor: Growth and Environmental Impact

01:04:21 Finding Inspiration in Everyday Life

01:06:47 The Importance of Presence in Creativity

01:08:04 Mindfulness and Action in Creative Processes

01:09:50 The Artist's Journey: Recognition and Sacrifice

01:10:22 The Balance of Art and Reality

01:12:58 The Evolution of Artistic Expression

01:15:55 Manifestation and Abundance Mindset

01:19:56 Navigating Post-COVID Connections

01:23:08 The Value of Art Beyond Monetary Worth

01:24:33 The Energetic Shift in Society

01:26:21 Astrology and Self-Awareness

01:28:46 The Journey of Personal Growth and Acceptance

01:31:48 The Role of Criticism in Artistic Development

01:35:27 Art and Accessibility

01:40:57 Starting Creative Ideas

01:47:05 Navigating Creativity and Self-Doubt

Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:00.046)
Hello and welcome to Ebbs and Flows with Erin or welcome back to Ebbs and Flows with Erin. I am here today with a very special guest, Grady. Welcome. I'm so excited to talk to you today. I don't even know if I've told you this yet, but when you reached out a few months ago, we reconnected. Grady and I have known each other actually for 15 years, which

Thanks for having me.

Speaker 1 (00:23.469)
Okay.

blew my mind. might have to post that Facebook photo on Instagram. It's a tough one for me, but, yeah, we go way back, but I'm really excited to talk to you today. And when you reached out a few months ago and reconnected, had already thought of you when I was thinking of guests I'd like to talk to you because I just feel like you have such a cool story and you're so talented. And when I started learning about the power of creativity, how important it actually is as a human being,

to allow yourself to express yourself creatively. I really admire anyone who is an artist and allows themselves to do that. So I'm excited to hear more about your story and get inside of your brain today.

Thanks, yeah, mean, I think it's also interesting on the flip side, you know? I think when you're very involved in this stuff non-stop and you got your head in the clouds a lot, sometimes you need to learn how to ground yourself, so... Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's kind how we came together, I feel like. The two forces, like trying to learn a little bit from each other. But I'm so intrigued by the mind of, and just the life of a true artist. Because just watching the projects you've created over the years, and just knowing there had to have been a point where that thought, that seed entered your brain.

Speaker 2 (01:48.962)
But then taking the step to actually create it and like then share it is a whole other step to take. So I really do just admire that. And I'm curious about what really gave you that maybe it's confidence, maybe it's not, but what inspired you first, like your first memory of deciding I'm going to create art, but then also, and maybe there are two different times, I'm also going to share it with the world.

That's, you know, that's the, when I always think about creating, think of like very early ages. My mom was like a big influence. she always had me building Lego and things like that. So I think, I think that in itself was a very creative, yeah, just a creative, tool that people can use. so everything's in pieces and then you learn how to like put those pieces back together slowly. And you know, eventually you have your final product. but over the years, mean, I think, I was always drawing never

probably not writing down as many notes as I should be in class.

Relatable.

I'm doing things like that. yeah, I think as I get older and the more, you know, it's been actually almost 10 years now that I've been doing art full time. It's that image in my head that I just keep like holding onto of like, you know, the future or whatever. Or when you have that idea, you just try to close your eyes and just really envision it coming true. But then at the same, same time, you have to take those actions every day. You got to build the blocks. You got to make sure that you're putting the pieces together.

Speaker 1 (03:22.288)
because if you don't take action, then you're not going to have results.

Yeah. Yeah. That's, think what is most impressive to me is that part of, okay, I can dream about things all day long, but it's the taking the action and the actual steps to like make it come to life. And yeah, being a full-time artist, like you were consistently doing that. And also it's crazy that it's been almost 10 years of you being a full-time artist. And even crazier as I was reflecting on, I was lucky enough that you allowed me to take part in some of your projects.

over the years and that was like seven and eight years ago. Yeah. Which is insane today.

Which, and that was like for one of my first gallery shows. That was in 2018, which believe it or not, I'm actually doing another art show coming up at the end of the month. Thank you. And even the title of that show, I think is, it's kind of been inspired just by the pursuit of art. And even since last time we chatted and hung out, yeah, the title of the show is Fight or Flight. And I think growth, especially when you, you know, every day you get a little older, but it's that commitment to the idea.

so excited for you.

Speaker 1 (04:32.396)
And I think that's the scary part. It's just like, okay, this is what I want. How do I do it? But then just picking a date, telling people you're doing it. But then also now it's like putting pressure on myself to be like, okay, you have to produce this. But if I didn't have an art show, I'd probably still be making art quite frequently, but I wouldn't be like producing the amount that I am right now.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like you're forcing yourself into that fight or flight state to produce the results you want.

Right, rather than like being at the mercy of being in fight or flight. Like I'd rather put myself through that and see what I can produce rather than other people putting me in that position and then me scrambling to like make a decision or things like that. Which I think is something that I'm still working on getting better at is just making decisions. Art can be a very personal thing but at the same time, I don't necessarily want it to be a competitive state. I want it to be very like...

creation and like, you collaborative. sometimes that's, you know, small things can help me do big things, right? Yeah. I think even being here, it's just like, this is helping me compartmentalize some areas, you know, in order to get the vision.

Yeah, I imagine that since you are creative and that's what your focus is, but then when it's also your business, trying to find the balance of how to operate from the creative side and then the business logical side might be a challenge to navigate.

Speaker 1 (06:07.534)
Well, especially when I think that when you want to pave your own path, ideas that you can have can be very out there for some people. So it's difficult when you pitch ideas or when even a client's like, I want something wild, but they're wild could be like my like, like a two out of 10. So, um, but it's just, I just know it's like kind of process of elimination. If I get more nos, then I'll find my yeses.

Yeah

Speaker 2 (06:34.248)
things like that, right? yeah, yeah, I feel like I don't know if you identify with this, but it must be, it's like the greatest practice of building self love and trust almost of having the confidence or whether it's like devotion to your craft and expressing your ideas and knowing, okay, this might not resonate with everyone or the person even asking me to come up with an idea, but just trusting to share it.

Yeah, well, I mean, and sure, like sometimes you don't share those things because like, I don't know, I, it's like when, I don't know, there's like this, clip. Ben Stiller's in this movie and he's a photographer and it's like, he's about to take this like grand shot or whatever and they just don't. And it's just like, it's just for him in the moment and like being present and things like that. Right. So, but that's something that like, I have to remind myself if I'm being critical of myself later on.

I need to remember that at that point in time when I was executing a painting or a paint line or whatever, I was executing it to the best of my ability. And maybe there's like external, you know, forces that are, you know, clouding my mind or things like that. But I've always treated art very almost like sports, you know, it's like you've got a hockey game or whatever.

Hmm

Speaker 1 (07:55.17)
You want to eat well, want to prep, you want to make sure you're getting sleep. Sometimes you're forced to do it without those things, but I mean, when you're trying to achieve your highest possible output, you need to be conscious of your surroundings.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. This kind of goes back to the childhood aspect just because it just kind of clicked for me from when I knew you back then and you were like, that's how I knew of you was you were the sports guy, like you played hockey. Did you find when you were younger, you almost had an internal, not a struggle, but two sides of you pulling at you, like the creative artistic side. then, and where we lived, it's just a very like, you play hockey, you're in sports kind of town.

Definitely. I definitely probably resonated with more of like that artistic side and like creativity. Which I had this thought like, you know, a few months ago, but I was like, like it's a competition. Everyone's very competitive in sports and things like that. And then I, you know, I think of McDavid and you know, how he excels in things, but I'm like, he's creating new plays. He is trying to create opportunity on the ice rather than like competing for ice time.

or competing for a spot on the team. And I think when kids are growing up and stuff, they're very focused on that, like competing, competing to have the coolest gear, things like that. But with art now, I've, especially with stencils, like graffiti artists have never been too fond of stencil artists. So it's, I've kind of isolated myself from a big margin of people who use spray paint. But to me, that was also an advantage that I saw. I was like, okay, if all these people are doing this,

I can excel and focus on what I like to do. Stencils give me that same feeling of building Lego. This is the idea that I have. How can I work backwards from the problem of this is what I'd like to create and this is how we're going to create it.

Speaker 2 (09:38.232)
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:52.288)
Yeah, that's cool. I didn't realize that in the graffiti world, like, would you consider yourself, you do graffiti, but you use stencils. So you're differentiating yourself.

Yeah, and I mean, to me, it's just like, this is just what I love. And this is just something that I've been able to do for 10 years and not really get bored of it. But it's like my graffiti influences my stencils and my stencils influence my graffiti, things like that. You know, anytime I do sculptures, like I'm applying the practice of stenciling because that's something I know very, very well. And that's like my consistency of progress. But, you know, if I'm not open to new experiences, then like, I won't grow.

Yeah.

So you have to put yourself in those. And yeah, I mean, there's times where I go up to a wall and it's blank and I have a spray can and I'm like, I don't know what to do. And then you start looking at like how the fabric creases and then you start seeing like, you know, I see a shape here or I see a face or, know, you build up on those, those things you recognize.

Yeah, if you guys live in Edmonton or the area, you've definitely seen one of Grady's, well, probably a few, but one of his works of art on Jasper Abbe. It is the ginormous mural. And that makes me curious. How did you decide what you were going to put on that giant

Speaker 1 (11:08.81)
I mean, there's a few components with that. I actually submitted a totally different design for that building in the first place. And that was something where I was like, I'd love to paint this big. And I think like it worked and it's just first design didn't really catch with the people, but also just like knowing the city well and like exploring, knowing that like some parts of the building you can see from,

the total west end of Jasper Ave. I wanted to take advantage of that little square that you see. So that's like where I put the eagle in the piece, right? So then you start building down. I wanted to reduce my environmental impact. So that was like get a lot of clouds, a lot of space where you can like still put a lot of effort in and cover a lot of ground. But then as I was like getting lower, it started to get muckier in the mountains. That's my 55 minute timer.

Is that your phone?

first 55 minutes of the hour I work and the last five minutes I write down what I did and that's helping me keep on track for doing.

I actually think that that happened for a reason because I think that's such a cool thing to share. I love that idea because I, yeah, my time management skills, not my time management, but my awareness of time is lacking. Um, I think it's like a neurodivergent thing, but I like that tool.

Speaker 1 (12:27.11)
I've always used movies while I work because TV episodes you can like get lost in a season and yeah 30 minutes 30 minutes but with movies I'm like, okay, I'll put on Lord of the Rings and then it's like three hours of working time and then I feel like okay, usually I don't watch the movie. It's just in the background, but I'm like, okay, that means I've worked for like X amount of time. So when I learned about this, I was like, this is great because even if I'm not writing down something every hour, I can look back and be like, okay, painted Godzilla.

Started a new Godzilla and then I look at the next hour. I'm like, okay did this did this to this?

I really like that. And so that kind of talks a bit more about this next show you're doing. Do you want to talk a little bit more about what you're doing for that?

Sure. okay. So I guess I'll finish the point with, did get that. So yeah, I guess perspective of the city influenced the design. You know, I wanted this design to be captured from all different perspectives, not just like when you're standing right in front of it, but there's a big Eagle at the top. There's a flowy clouds that are actually like my letters that I've incorporated into the clouds. So like, I really wanted to like bed my.

right. Yes, we'll go back.

Speaker 1 (13:39.182)
my brand. Yeah, it's like encrypted, right? If people copy it, it's just they're going to be copying. So then there's a big sun, a wolf in the clouds. The wolf was kind of meant to be hidden, also meant for like kids who have a lot more creativity and they'll probably notice things. it's been two years since I painted it, but you wouldn't believe how many like, you know, older people or adults that are like, Oh, I didn't even notice there's a wolf in it. I was like, it wasn't meant for you.

or brand. My letters.

Speaker 2 (14:07.958)
Yeah, absolutely. You're too busy and distracted.

Exactly. But yeah, the final bottom of the piece with like the bear and there's the mountains things like that. I actually dreamt about. Yeah, so it was literally it came in the dream to me. I got up and I like quickly finished photoshopping it. And I submitted the design at 1159 and the deadline was at 12. Oh my

my god, that's so cool.

Speaker 1 (14:35.744)
But that's just like, that's the pressure of creativity. It's like you could have 10 years to do it and you know, even if someone paid you a million dollars a year, I guarantee you there's a lot of artists that will be like, shit, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta push and, and they'll produce something cause they've had that time to like build that pressure and just, you know, it's the execution.

left. it's just not coming.

Speaker 2 (15:00.812)
Yeah, yeah, I'm just noticing your hat too as you're talking about your brand. That's so cool. It's like a rad originals in the Oilers logo.

My hat that I've actually painted the mural in so yeah all my assistants and people are helping out They all had black caps, and I just wanted a white a white painters cat

I'm gonna post a photo. I'm gonna do like a carousel on our Instagram of like some of your work as we're talking about it so people can see it visually but As I said if you live here, you've definitely seen it. Okay. Well, thank you for sharing that I think that project is so fascinating. I can't even fathom That space and like you got up not only were you creating but you were like in the middle of the sky Pretty much painting on the side of a wall which had to add a whole other element in your brain as you're creating

Sounds good.

Speaker 1 (15:49.076)
Yeah, well, mean like public safety and I worked in the oil field for a bit. So safety was driven in quite quite intensely. But when you're 20 stories up and like a paint can falls off a swing stage that could do a lot of damage or like harm someone around you. So there's a lot of precautions I took and it is some more boring stuff. So won't get too into it. But yeah, it's like you want to make sure that everybody's safe. It's a job where, you know, you fall off a lift and you could be a serious injury or even death.

We did a good job, everybody made it out.

Yeah, I was gonna say, I'm glad you made it out with no stories to tell on that end of things.

Yeah, that was good. yeah, like I was looking back through my camera roll and I actually had a picture of that wall in 2017. and I mean, it was one of my favorite walls in Edmonton. Yeah. So yeah, I mean, manifesting or just putting your energy towards those building blocks, I think is a very practical tool. And, you know, that take action on things that will maybe get you a little bit closer to where you see yourself and yeah.

Yeah, that's such a cool example of that being put into action and happening in real life because I think the word manifesting has gotten very, people are confused by it. sounds like it's, as I say on this podcast, woo woo, which whatever that means, but it, like you said, it really is just putting your energy towards things that you know could help you get to where you want to go. So taking inspired action and that's.

Speaker 2 (17:22.783)
wild. can't imagine how you felt looking back afterwards and seeing that picture on your phone from years ago.

Yeah, mean, yeah, I honestly still just sometimes I just don't believe it. I think that's the powerful thing of art is you can create what you want. But also there's a flip side to like, what have I created? Sometimes you create messes and sometimes sometimes you make poor decisions because you know, you're you're really gunning for that one thing you want. And you get like horse blinders on.

So I think now to a big thing that I remind myself, one of my hats I actually wrote down, it's just do not rush. Like in the past I was just always rushing. was trying to get it as fast as I could and then, you know, it's over and you know, it's like, what do I do now? And that's been an interesting phase that I've been in is I achieved one of my biggest goals. Yeah, where do you go from there? Do you paint it?

Yeah.

a double the size mural. Like, do I have the energy for that? Like, you know, and I think I'm blessed to kind of feel like I'm in the middle of the ocean with things like that. But this show that I'm doing, Fight or Flight, I think I'm starting to see some shore again. You know, I'm reminding myself why I love doing this so much. And you know, there's that drive again and not feeling like I'm burnt out having to create. It's like, I want to create this so that people can come to a cool event. They can come.

Speaker 1 (18:45.856)
meet people that are also interested in the same things. We're doing it at Foosh downtown. those guys have always been a source of inspiration for me, like growing up, you know, street wear, things like that. And it's also just a break from, you know, the world you're in when you can go shopping.

Yeah, absolutely. I'm on board with that. that's so cool. Is it just you?

Yeah, this show I'm just, yeah, I might have like some like little things that I'm collaborating with with some people, but most of it is all just like work, archives from the mural. essentially like the last 10 years of my work is kind of going into this. So yeah.

So cool.

I'm so sad I'm going to be out of town for it. But did you, I think you said it might, some of it might still be up for a little bit. Yeah. I think come check it out.

Speaker 1 (19:35.798)
Yeah, I think that people know that I like to really go above and beyond. If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll probably eat the whole jar. I'm definitely taking advantage of the space. So I'm sure it'll be open for like another week or so.

Yeah, honestly, I think some of your past shows and projects that I was lucky to either be a part of or like just witness are some of the coolest things I've been a part of or went like even just going to your shows. That's such a cool environment. And like you said, it puts you in an environment where you're meeting other people, other probably like-minded in some sort of way. People are just making connections you might not make if that space wasn't created and opened up for you.

I think creating spaces for people to come together that you might not, if you're just going about your daily life, have the opportunity to make those connections or be inspired by art that you wouldn't see just sitting at home and like scrolling on your phone, getting out there and being exposed to it. I think it's so important to create those spaces. So yeah, I have a really good feeling about this for you. I think it's really cool to see even, I think it was like four months ago when we first reconnected and

Just seeing even since then how far you've come is so cool.

Well, and like I, you know, I was just kind of thinking about that. And I think that's like something as an artist, you can be very isolating or when you're chasing your goals or your dreams, like things can get lonely or maybe you feel like people aren't relating to these problems that you're going through. But at the same time, and I think that was like, I was in Vancouver, I was working on a really cool job. I felt like everything was going good and I still felt out of place.

Speaker 1 (21:18.062)
And then, you know, you can spiral when you start to get in your own head and you're like, like, this didn't work out. So now I'm here and now I'm struggling with this and like, this is hard work and this, that, and the other thing. But you know, then you're like, okay, how do I ground myself from these situations? Um, you know, ended up, I think I was looking at like rumination podcasts or something like that. And yeah, honestly, I think I just kind of naturally came across one of your podcasts.

And yeah, listening to just some of the stuff you'd experienced, I was like, I'm relating to this right now in my own way. And, know, I think you were on a trip or something like that far away from Canada, but I was like, this, that, I felt, I felt very close to that feeling. And I was like, and then there's the connection and then, you know, reaching out and, know, just being able to rekindle things, even though we hadn't chatted in a long time. but I still felt like I, I could, you know,

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:15.566)
Yeah, which I'm so glad you did because I think for a reason, I mean, we just immediately were, we got deep like right off the bat, just chatting for hours. And I think it's cool that you can create in different ways, but no matter what you're sharing, it's someone's going to relate to it. And that's what I feel passionate about with this podcast is like anyone sharing their experience with their story. There's going to be someone who can relate and like find comfort in that. And people find that through your art.

And when I hear someone say that they've found that through listening to a podcast of mine, it's like nothing else really matters. It's just knowing that we all have so much more in common than our ruminating thoughts tell us when we are having those spirals that I can relate to. So, and then now to be sitting on the podcast together is such a full circle moment in so many ways. yeah, I'm just grateful, but.

I think you should be really proud of yourself for getting to this point of still creating and wanting to put yourself out there doing a whole art show. Sharing your inner world is so cool.

Yeah, yeah, it's yeah, well, and yeah, it's just very personal. It's like, I'll be showcasing like sketchbook drawings. So like early drawings from when I painted the mural. So like literally just like the first couple of sketches where I'm like, okay, this didn't look good or, you know, I drew a big V in it and I'm like, that doesn't, and it's repetition, quick, quick, fast. When you're, when you're learning things, you just got to like,

get that muscle memory. like, make your bed every day. It's like, it's not very fun, but just do it. Just do it for a month and then see what happens and you know, it'll just become natural. and I, even with drawing, it's like sometimes if I don't draw for a month, I drew a way bigger circle for a head than I probably should have. But yeah, it's, yeah, it'll be archives from the mural, all of my original blueprints, things like that. Some bigger art pieces. I've got a one-to-one scale, Michael Jordan, that'll be featuring this.

Speaker 2 (24:03.981)
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:16.158)
That is so cool. That's on your Instagram. Is it not? I remember seeing that and I'm like, no, that's so sick. I guarantee you someone wants that.

But that's also a point to like clear space for you know more things to come into the town The the main feature of the show though, I'm aiming for about 20 Godzilla prints stencils Sorry, not prints, but originals the original Godzilla is actually the same height as my mural Yeah That was kind of the connection I worked on that stencil for two years just

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:47.05)
my god, That's insane!

Speaker 1 (24:54.946)
throughout planning that big project whenever I had time or needed a break and slowly cut it out but now I'm kind of just finally getting to producing all these godzillas and different colors you know different different price points like I want people to feel like art can be for everybody so yeah there's gonna be some some fun fun mystery things at the show

Well, you guys gotta go check it out. I'm excited! And now I have a home that I could put art in, so I'm gonna have to be, yeah, check it out some pieces.

Yeah, that'd be good. yeah. I guess what I could say about drawing and things like that is just if you're obsessed with something, just keep drawing it. For me, tigers have been a big source of inspiration and it hasn't been something I've really been able to, you know, move away from. The Godzilla's have kind of helped that. Yeah. Or I'm like, okay, it is nice to like focus on some other stuff because constantly I was just drawing tigers.

exciting.

Speaker 2 (25:38.146)
Yeah

Speaker 2 (25:52.749)
Yeah.

different styles and but then yeah then you start to be like is this worth my time this is worth like you know two three years of trying the same thing but now it's like I can confidently draw something you know and

Yeah, trusting in the process, which I feel like you hear that term, trust the process and I don't know, maybe not internalize it, but something I've been kind of re-realizing, cause it's like a constant practice I feel like is you'll get to some point of a struggle or a block or just not understanding what you're experiencing or what you're maybe struggling to do. And you'll always, you'll always hit a point where you look back and you're like, Oh,

this makes sense, like the timing makes sense, why I was doing this or thinking about this or feeling this makes sense, but it's so hard to remember in the process and it feels like forever before you get there.

Yeah, I-I-I listen to like the Rick Rubin book. can't remember what it's called. Creative Act. Some of

Speaker 2 (26:52.75)
The creative act, creative way of being. I'm obsessed.

yeah, reading that, mean, there was a lot of stuff that I was experiencing when I was listening to it. was like, I, when you hear someone else kind of, it's like when your parents tell you to do something and you're like, no way. then it's like friend or like your uncle will tell you something. That's awesome. Yeah, that's so good. It's like, know, you can be experiencing these things yourself and you can be telling yourself to like, keep pushing through these things. But when you can.

listen to a podcast, read a book, and you hear these things that you can learn from, or maybe it'll put a couple puzzle pieces in with just those creative blocks. It's scream into a pillow, punch a pillow 20 times, or until you can't and you're tired.

switching things up and I mean with ADHD and other things that you know, I think a lot of people have especially just with like technology influences a lot of that stuff. Yeah, it's like how do we switch it up? So like the idea in my arch for my art show in my head was like I have to plan this for a really long time It's gonna take like two years I'm gonna need like all this money and then I was just like what if I plan in a month and a half and if I do it with no money what if I are like, you know, what if I do it with what I have

accessible to me right now. What is that gonna look like? And you know the closer I get to this show I'm like this is what I've been planning for 10 years because this is all the work I've been doing. So but yeah it's like until it actually happens and that's just being present. I'm like this is this is what I'm doing today.

Speaker 2 (28:30.539)
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:34.55)
Yeah, which is easier said than done a lot of the time. Yeah, I love Rick Rubin and his book, but it's kind of like you said, I'll see what he's written or I'll hear what he's saying. And I'm like, wow, that makes so much sense. Or that's like so philosophical or I should apply that. But a lot of it easier said than done. Like a lot of what he says about creativity and just.

trusting and you just have to trust that what you want to put out is what they're going to want to hear or receive. And maybe it's not, but you have to let the work live. That was one thing is like, even if you're coming up on feelings of being unsure, you have to let it live because it wants to come out of you. So again, that's just why I really admire artists to allow that process to happen.

And like, he talks about pieces being journal entries or like just a chapter in your book. And with that big mural, I finished it and, you know, I was kind of working some random jobs or I wasn't doing art all the time anymore. And I was like, how did I go from like, nonstop, this is what I'm doing to like a fight or flight mode being like, I have to survive and now I'm creating art under like survival and like, that's not very fun. And then I was just like, oh, like I'm

Wanted that chapter again and like but I also just know that that was something that will lead me to the next story Mm-hmm. I think even these like the 20 Godzilla's I'm doing it's like I'm doing 20 because like it was 20 stories like You know these little things that like all connect but it's kind of subconscious You know, so but Yeah, and I think that you can reread it. Yeah, I don't know like rereading the same chapter isn't gonna get you to the end of the book

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:17.398)
Yeah. And eventually that chapter will get mundane and kind of boring to you. It'll lose it's like the passion that you felt during it. If you're just repeating that over and over, but for some reason, our subconscious wants us to just repeat that same thing over and over and over, which is interesting. on that note, when it comes to maybe creative blocks or even just getting yourself like opening up yourself to listen to that intuition or allow it to come through, is there anything that you do other than maybe like you said,

making it a consistent practice, like you're forcing yourself to draw consistently. But is there stuff outside of art specifically that you find yourself doing that allows you to like work through that?

Right now it's been a lot of like nostalgia, which has been something that I've been trying to balance because that can also be very consuming. Yeah. but I think that's also what is like influencing my art. Yeah. I mean, like try to find some like hobbies and stuff like that, but yeah, I'm into Pokemon and stuff like that. Cool. My, my mom recently found a coloring book that I had from when I was like one or two years old. No way. My,

My grandparents always used to have exchange students come and visit. And one of them brought me a like Pokemon. It used to be called Pocket Monsters like before. Hey. And it was like a Pocket Monsters coloring book. So like super old. Walls. Yeah. So that's like all the coloring.

should put that in the art show.

Speaker 1 (31:44.11)
I colored all of that stuff in there. So I'm making like little pocket paintings of those drawings. That's so cool. But it's just like, it still gives me a break from art, but it's still on the same track as what I'm doing. mean, fitness and things like that, I to go rock climbing. But sometimes you can be very consumed with the process. You got to remind yourself to take a step back.

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, all those things just allow your energy to flow and like your, your life force to flow through you. think something, and I don't know if it was Rick Rubin, I don't know where I heard it the first time, but that the opposite of depression is expression. It's not like happiness or joy, but expressing yourself, creating is what brings those feelings. And that's when I realized that I hadn't done anything that allowed me to just.

express myself creatively in years. It was like after college, I was in my nine to five corporate job, really struggling with my mental health, overall health. And I started learning about that concept where as humans, it's essential to create. You don't have to be an artist per se, but you can even like cooking a dinner or like, don't know, doing anything that's allowing you just to let your energy flow. And I remember I drove home from work one evening, stopped at Michael's.

craft store, just bought like sketchbooks, paint, markers, paper to paint on and like an easel. And I was just like, I'm not going to be good at these things, but I just need to start creating. And it just became a nice outlet for me to like let my creative energy flow. Again, like it's not things that I was looking to share, but just it really was such a healing time to come back to that. Because like you said, in the beginning of this, when you look back at childhood, that's such a big part of our lives. And then

Speaker 2 (33:35.854)
I find from the years of like 14 into your twenties, you can very easily lose that largely part, largely due to like society being like, okay, go to school, get a job. This is what matters. And like, you don't really have time if you don't make the time and no one's telling you it's important to make the time. So you can quickly lose all of your play, like creativity and play are very important at all ages. And I feel like at 30 years old, I'm relearning that that you actually do need to have fun.

play, be creative. And it's just funny. I was reflecting on that recently of like your teens and your twenties can just be taking in all this information that you're being told is the right way to do things. And then you reach like late twenties and you're like, okay, I need to unlearn a lot of this and come back to what I was doing at like 13.

Yeah, yeah, I found it interesting when you talked about cooking. That was one thing where I'm like, if I'm really stuck, like I need, like, I should just try, like, what do I want to make? And then like, go get all the ingredients, but then try to make it the best that you can make it. You know, even if it's just something goofy or whatever, or whatever, just like, try to see how well you can do it. Cause it's just letting that creativity flow through stuff. and then I guess with, yeah, I think being in ours for a long time,

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:52.77)
that's something where I'm like, okay, so people tell me to grow up or like, you gotta handle this thing. But to me that vision of creativity is like something that is just so precious. And you know, when you're a kid and when you're growing up is you just, you're not exposed to like the news or like the harshness or like all this other stuff. So I think.

I think, you know, I'm 29, I'm almost 30, but there's that just that weird thing where it's just like, okay, I'm hitting a new decade. And it's like, what have I learned? But like, also, how do you still keep that creativity moving forward? And I feel I think that's just that youthfulness that you have to maintain for yourself. Because yeah, I don't know, it's like, I hope to be creating for another 60 years. Totally. Like, what can I create in 60 years, you know, and the only thing where I'm like, okay, this is

It sucks is like, okay, I gotta pay my bills. I gotta pay my rent. Blah, But now I'm also trying to be like, how can I creatively do that? Not everything has to be like nine to five or. But, but you also need that to survive some. Okay.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:51.692)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:56.524)
Totally.

Yeah, can be hard to navigate that where it's like, there are things we have to do, unfortunately, as humans, as adult humans, like, yeah, we got to pay our bills. But I think it's putting that energy out there, like you said, of like, okay, I'm open to that it can be in a creative way. I'm open that I could do it differently. And when you put that out there to the universe, you never know the ways that it can provide for you. It might not be in the timing you want it to be. You might.

be waiting for a while, but you never know what can happen. as long as, yeah, like you said, when you've had periods of, okay, I'm working other jobs to help with that aspect of things, but you're still taking that inspired action of like, I still want to be creating, I still am creating. Then you're sending the message, I'm open to this being the possibility.

Well, and if you are in a position where it's like, okay, this is what I have, this is what I'm doing. And if it's, you know, something mundane, it's like you're, you're drilling holes in metal or something like that. What keeps me going through that stuff is like this, I will apply it to my art one day and I'll be thankful that like I went through this like training period to enhance. just know that whatever I'm doing now will influence. so a lot of repetition, a lot of just like,

Like this past year, there were so many times where I wanted to quit what I was doing or I wanted to be like, hey, like I've done too much today. Like I can't do anything more. And I pushed another like three, four hours. Now when I'm focusing on the show and I'm making artwork for it, I'm like, this is, this is easy. Like I've done the, I've done the reps and other things that are not as fun. So now when I'm actually doing fun things, I'm very grateful to be back in this position. Totally. Versus like when I was working on that mural, that's all I knew.

Speaker 2 (37:30.785)
I could do this forever.

Speaker 1 (37:43.89)
All I knew was just making art and just making things up as I go. So I didn't necessarily have all that structure of just doing those things in order to like compound. And that's where you start to feel like you're a little crazy in your own mind because you're just making things up all the time. You're just up in the clouds. You're trying to daydream. You're trying to dream.

Yeah, because you didn't have

Speaker 2 (38:07.692)
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:11.608)
Yeah, let's

girls like so you're just like like this is my life and if people can relate to that then it's You know, sometimes you'll either just not talk about it or you'll just be you'll isolate yourself from conversations and I think even being on this podcast today, too It's like this is a different way that I can express creativity like I don't have to be painting but we can we can be talking about ways to Be creative and help ourselves

Totally, yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:40.586)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm appreciative that you're here. In that note, do you feel like you do have people or relationships in your life that you're comfortable to just fully show up as yourself and like talk about your life authentically?

get what we need to do.

Speaker 1 (38:56.918)
Yeah, I think in the past I was very very open with stuff. I think I have closed a little bit more because I think when you're always talking about ideas people I don't know I see it's tough because this is like a thing about competition. Yeah, like okay, like I don't know if I talk about this idea then people do it But I think now I've just been like taking action on things quicker than to it's like I have this idea let me just only take me like 30 minutes. Why don't I just try it?

Yeah.

One thing that I always loved is there was like a class that was told to make pottery pots. And there was one group that was like, you can make as many pots as you want. And the other one was like, you guys have to make a perfect pot, but you can only make one. So the result was the people who made the most pots ended up having like the higher quality pot versus the people who were trying to perfect one thing. now it's just like, yeah, it's quantity. like I'm painting 20 Godzilla's. There will be one that is the best. I don't know which one that

gonna be like I kind of have to finish them all to like see that so yeah I mean there's definitely people that I'm very open with and try to be myself but I think that's also when you get older you just try to show up as yourself rather than show up as someone else and then try to be who you are

Totally.

Speaker 2 (40:11.598)
Yeah, yeah, and that's just whole, I think life experiences, what brings you, like I said earlier, through your twenties, you're kind of like, maybe more so caring about what other people are thinking, you're absorbing more of other people. And then yeah, you get older, you just care less first of all, but what other people think and you care more about and recognize how important it is to try and allow yourself to show up authentically. But I do think what you were saying about being a little more protective of like sharing your

goals or your ideas or dreams. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. And I think there is like a delicate balance of it, but just even in terms of energy. And it's not that people have bad intentions, but a lot of the time when you share things sometimes, well, a lot of the time it's their projection coming out. maybe you'll share an idea and they'll be like, how are you going to do that? Are you sure? Like, are going to create art for a living.

Well, is that reliable? Is that stable? Blah, blah, blah. That's just their own like fears and you know, past conditioning coming through, but then that can scare you away or make you feel a type of way when it's really has nothing to do with you and like what you're set out to do. So that's something I've been learning more about. And yeah, I don't know the perfect answer because you do want to be able to show up authentically and share yourself. But I guess it's maybe just trial and error a little bit. And then also feeling out, mean,

relationships you have. Or guess in a way it's just when you know you're speaking your truth no matter what other people think. Maybe again that comes with age where you just care less. But yeah I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to be more protective with what you share.

Well, I think my perspective on that is my dreams aren't everybody else's dreams. So like, I can have a dream and I can take action on pursuing that, but I could just be helping someone else do their dreams and then they could maybe not help me fulfill mine. It's like, okay, this is what we're going to do for this project, blah, blah, blah. And it's just like, things can go south when people are like, okay, got what I needed. Thank you.

Speaker 2 (42:13.762)
Yeah, like you've given me this idea now. Yeah.

And yeah, I don't know. think you just have to like kind of know what you want. And I think also it comes very naturally when you feel comfortable with people and you don't have to rush. Like I don't think you have to like prove yourself why things are worth it, right? It should just be worth it to collaborate and things like that. And yeah, I mean, I think what you do is really cool. And I think like, like I just wanted to be a part of it in some way, right? And I mean, even when I reached out, I was just like, Hey, just, you know, this inspired me or, or,

Yeah. He's got it.

Weirdo. It's exciting. And yeah, because you just had your one year.

Yeah, it's been just over a year doing this. Thank you. Yeah. It's crazy. It's something that I don't think I really recognize. Maybe something I could be more present in as it's happening because I'm just kind of focused on like doing it, putting it out and continuing to be consistent with it. Then the one year came up and I was like, wow, what they say there's some sort of some sort of statistic that's like, if you make it past 13 podcast episodes.

Speaker 2 (43:20.062)
you've made it past like 87 % of people who start a podcast. again, it's not about competition, but I have been classic in my life for starting and not finishing or being consistent in things, even creatively, like the amount of instruments I started to learn how to play, the amount of hobbies I started to have, and then would fall off the amount of things I would think of wanting to do, and then either never take action or like stop.

to whatever fears or whatever. So this was something I really knew if I put myself out there that whether it's the most healthy or not, I wouldn't want to appear like I've not failed externally, but like failed myself where it's just like, she's stopped.

See, and like when you talk about that right now, I'm like, okay, you change yourself on instruments. Okay, that's audio. Here we are like doing audio stuff. It's just like, you're putting those building blocks together again to put yourself into this position. And this is just like something, you know, an audio version that you've like consistently achieved.

Yeah, that's so true. Yeah, it totally goes back to your point of like everything that maybe seemed like a failure. And what do they always say? They always say the failures are like what teach you along the way and bring you to your success. But yeah, it is funny to look back and be like, okay, maybe that wasn't the specific instrument to use, whether it's musical or just instruments throughout life. But it brings you to where you're meant to be and where you're meant to be can change too throughout life.

Yeah, and I don't know, maybe you played for audiences and things like that too, and like now you still have an audience. know, you're, I don't necessarily want to say like performing for her, but like, you know, there is a show aspect to this and you know, yeah.

Speaker 2 (44:55.049)
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:01.112)
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:05.164)
Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you.

Were you able to celebrate after you completed your one?

I really took a moment to be present with it and like journal about it and Like, you know be proud of myself for it. I didn't necessarily do anything for it but in a way this like recording with you and wanting to have more guest episodes and like finding a bigger studio that I'm able to come to and do this was kind of my Celebration cool. I was like, okay. I always wanted to get to one year. I knew that I'm still learning as I'm going but

I've only had two guests before you and in realistically, it's just, it's not my full-time job. Like when you add in a guest, is more work, but I've been connecting with more people very organically who express interest in wanting to come onto the podcast or relating to something they've heard on it. And it reminded me of my why in the beginning was that I want to connect with people, help people know they're not alone, but most importantly, like everyone has a story to share and I really want.

this next year or the next season of the podcast to be connecting with people and like helping them, not even helping them share their story, but I'm genuinely curious to hear them. And I know other people will be too. And it's healing for people listening, but also for the people sharing, like to use your voice and express your story or whatever you want to talk about. So that's kind of my celebration is I have some more guests lined up and I'm taking it seriously. And I know that that's kind of like the next chapter of this.

Speaker 1 (46:39.756)
Yeah, that's something I think I'm notoriously bad for is just like not celebrating like your accomplishments. You know, like you finish a job and then it's just like right onto the next thing. Okay, I gotta be doing this. But I think I'm also starting to learn like, okay, even this art show, it's like, I'm celebrating the process that took me from painting a big mural to these Godzilla's or like sketchbook drawings because yeah, if you don't celebrate it, then like, you know what?

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (47:08.002)
What's really the point? And it just builds your self love again, your self confidence and yeah, that another practice of being present, which can be hard to be throughout this world where there's constantly kind of like more hustle that you feel you have to do. But a lot of the times, and I think I talked about this recently, but when you stop and look back at and celebrate what you've done, you'll realize the things that maybe are stressing you out now or just seem like.

something that comes naturally, it's part of your routine. You can realize, there was a time, maybe not even that long ago that I like dreamt of doing this or I prayed to do this or this was just an idea that seemed like so out of the like realm of reality. And now it is reality. And yeah, I find, yeah, it is important to stop and celebrate and recognize that. And then I think more inspiration comes from that. So.

Yep, gotta take time to smell the flowers.

Yeah, it's all the cliche things. is something I've continued to learn. I'm like, every cliche is a cliche for a reason. I'm all for them now. Used to cringe at all this stuff. I think I say that maybe once an episode or I'm like, I used to cringe at this, but it's true.

Yeah, no, it's it's and it's all exciting like I mean every time you Yeah, you get into a new project like it's it's different from the last I think it also like takes a lot of courage, know with art you have to be courageous to you know Express yourself on something gosh. Yeah, you know a wall a canvas a sculpture. Yeah, it's There's nothing else quite like it

Speaker 2 (48:43.114)
No, I think it is like the greatest act of courage is to be an artist or just to express yourself and share it. Yeah. And do you feel like you give yourself enough props?

One thing I've been trying to do, I mean this is like where I was probably making lot of art for other people. I think I have talent where I'm like okay I can paint this, people will like this, and then I can sell it. But then it was just like...

especially when it's a business, it's like, okay, this is what we have to do to sort of like make money, whatever, but how can I actually express my emotions through art? And this is where like the tigers were a big thing for me. There's this, I don't know, I don't know if it's like really a new brand or whatever, but it's Good Work Tiger. Good Work is like GW, so it's my initials. And then the tiger is my rattle lettering incorporated into the tiger stripes. So it really, for me, that's like a big...

big brand mashup I guess but I was really trying to figure out

how the tigers could express my emotions. So it's like I was always drawing the same tiger over and over. And then I was like, okay, like, what is an angry tiger? What is a sad tiger? What is a happy tiger? What is, you know, a more masculine tiger? What's a more feminine tiger? You know? And that was just the only way I could communicate it. It's like sometimes there's so much going on in your mind or when someone's prodding at you for answers, sometimes I'm just like left speechless and I don't know how

Speaker 1 (50:13.634)
I don't know how to communicate with people, but I can probably draw them a picture with how I'm feeling. So the tigers I've been working over the last couple of years is like, okay, this is how I'm feeling today. This is how the tiger's feeling today. it does like animate it a little bit too. And I think it makes it a little bit easier to like digest. know, sometimes the real world is scary and it's graphic and it's gnarly. And even in movies, I watch scary movies and sometimes I'm like, it's not even...

not even as scary as real life. So, but I think also just like, yeah, taking that step to express yourself. It's like, okay, well, this is the tiger, how it felt this day. And you know what? Maybe I didn't draw that for a week straight. Maybe I didn't feel that for a week straight. It was just like that one moment where it was a very intense feeling, but you you can, you can breathe through it. You can meditate. can.

1000 %

Speaker 1 (51:08.642)
do a lot of things to help ground yourself and I think that's like what I've really been trying to learn because I'm like if I would have known these things when I was doing that big mural like who knows how this would have you know progressed but I'm learning this stuff now and yeah it's just something that I think life will teach you the lessons when you're ready to learn them and yeah sometimes it sucks but I mean you got to go through it to level up

Yes.

Speaker 2 (51:35.5)
Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I believe that as well, that it can be really easy just when you start learning or healing or whatever you want to call it, adding more tools to support yourself. There can be that weird feeling of grief for the past where you're like, well, if only I knew this then. But yeah, reminding yourself you learn this in the timing you're ready to learn it. And maybe, yeah, when you were making the mural, maybe you wouldn't have

had the capacity to learn about it or even practice it at the time, or there was some sort of reason that you didn't have these tools. But then going through that, when you learn about this stuff and put it into action, you're almost more aware of the impact that it is making and how important or impactful it is on your life.

And that's like, couldn't expect myself. Like I did every preparation that I could to make sure that I had the tools at hand to perform the job.

but I still had to use my muscles to execute it. it's like, but when you learn new things that like right then and there, you've had no time to prepare yourself to learn the things that you weren't ready for. So yeah, I mean, and that's where you need to give yourself grace and like love yourself and just give yourself room to breathe when you you feel smoked out. and yeah, it's something that you just learn over however many times that you've been burned.

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (52:59.372)
Like it'll happen, like you wanna be an artist, you wanna start your own business, you wanna take that leap of faith, like it's not for the faint of heart. You can pick easy routes, and not necessarily easy routes, but you can pick consistency. you know, over time, you'll see the payoff. But yeah, sometimes you just gotta go fishing for the big whale. I really mean like that.

Yeah, absolutely.

That show was really inspired by our last, just probably this podcast honestly, just that, yeah, I don't know, just the growth. Like the fight or flight to me was just like, I just kind of said it one day and I was like, this is the title of the show and it's, yeah, just forcing yourself, forcing yourself to do the show.

Yeah. And I think it is so cool because I remember our first time like meeting up again a few months ago and yeah, we were talking about the like being in fight or flight, but the opposite side of it where it's like, you didn't really have a choice. It's kind of happening to you. so to see you now have this whole show and flip it on its back where it's like, I'm utilizing this flight or flight feeling and to me, experience the like fulfillment and

growth that I want to experience is so cool.

Speaker 1 (54:20.982)
Yeah, well, I just I just wanted control. Yeah, I was just like, I just feel like I've been putting my control in other people's hands. then you just, I mean, everybody talks about like, control what you can control. And, you know, I can

I can pick the date, can pick the pieces that go into it. I have the power to do that stuff. But yeah, there's definitely times throughout the show where I'm like, what am I doing? Because I'm also investing a lot of money into canvas and spray paint and stuff that if you don't produce a show, you wouldn't have to spend that money on. So when you've got rent to pay, I'm like, okay, this show better pay off because rent's due at the end of next month. So we'll see.

Wow. That is like, really hope you are able to be proud of yourself even before the show takes place. Like as you're going through this process, because not a lot of people would have the trust and dedication and devotion to put something like this on. it's, it's all you. It really is even what you're providing and showcasing is like your deepest parts of yourself.

Yeah

Speaker 1 (55:29.804)
Yeah, I don't know. I think there's the concept of, should just do this and if it doesn't work out, then it's like, you know, like that's it. It's just a fight. It's like, I'll either do it and it'll be success. And if it isn't, then I'll just move on. But it's just one of those things where I'm like, I already know in my subconscious that this is something I'll be doing for a very long time. Yeah. But just putting that pressure on is like,

Okay, if it doesn't work out, then we gotta find something else. But it doesn't mean that I have to find something other than art. It just means I have to like, find a new location, or I have to find a new client, or I have to find something that will work with me because, yeah, I mean, you'll get lucky a few times in your life, but you're not gonna get lucky just standing still. You have to like, go find your luck, you know? It was funny, you were talking about manifestation.

And I think a good example of bad manifestation is like, and this is what I think about with Pokemon cards. And it's just, you can't just be like, I'm going to pull this. I'm going to pull the card that I want the first pack that I buy because I thought about it for a long time.

It's like, no, that's you. The chances of that happening, you're pretty slim. Sure, you'll get lucky and it might happen to you. But at the same time, it's like, you could set yourself up by like, okay, I'm going to work really hard. I'm going to save up some money. I'm going to go get a job. I'm going to go flip stuff so that I can afford to set myself up for success. And I can go buy a bunch, you know, and then maybe I'll get what I'm looking for. But you just can't just be like, this is going to happen. And then you do it once.

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:07.114)
and you don't get it and you're like, wow, I manifested it and it didn't happen.

Yeah, the pressure. was I, recently saw someone say like you need to loosen your grip on anything that you desire, especially the things you desire the most. You need to loosen the grip and try and take the pressure off. No, and speak or write your desire and your intention, but taking the pressure off of like exactly when it's going to happen, exactly how it's going to happen, what it's going to look like, how it comes to you. And that is so hard to actually practice. It's funny cause

the summer and I've shared this on the podcast recently. Like I think I kind of crashed out. Like I was in fight or flight for like a few months it felt like, which is just odd for me at this stage of life. But again, was just kind of taking it as, okay, gonna learn something from this. Like, and then I came to a point where I realized I haven't, what I like to do is paint just for fun, just to get out of my head, get into a flow state. I like to do acrylic painting and I hadn't done it for the whole summer.

And so my most recent one that I did was I just like did a mashup of colors as the background. I find that it's just like the most soothing to me. Like I get in the most flow state of just literally mixing colors. Sometimes I'll use my hands because I'm like, this doesn't even feel like enough. need to feel the pain to like feel myself expressing. But then I wrote on, I wrote forcing and then like crossed it out with a big red line and then wrote flowing.

Underneath on the painting. I was really I think of you whenever I'm doing this I'm like I want to tap into what do I want to express right now because especially the beginning of just like wanting to get back into doing it in general I would go on Pinterest and I'd be like, okay What painting do I want to try and recreate? And then I was like, yeah, even just from our conversations and like reading about creativity I'm like, I don't even think that's it. I need to my intention with this is to really let myself express like

Speaker 2 (59:03.384)
What am I feeling right now? So that I'm getting that like release from creating this. So yeah, I just, that's what came out of me was forcing or flowing instead of forcing because I can, as much as I learn about it and I know it's true, I can find myself so quickly going back to putting pressure on myself or the timeline of things or when things are going to work out or when the things I'm manifesting or working towards are going to happen. And yeah, going back to like just flowing through life.

I had a project for this investment company, it was like a cash waterfall, essentially, that I was doing. But what I put on these bills that I made was grow is flow and flow is grow. But it was like sometime, and I think that's what's interesting about fight or flight, it's literally just one letter difference. grow is flow. It's kind of like a figure eight.

It's literally the same two words. It's just like swapped and yeah, it was just like, okay, if I'm growing then I'm probably flowing and if I'm not growing that I'm flowing and that'll lead to growth and yeah, and that's just like the consistency and at the end of the day, it's just like life is just happening. It's just like whether you like it or not, the, can't change time. It's just going to happen. So yeah, you, you go to the gym, you work out, your muscles will grow.

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28.302)
but you need to constantly be flowing into the gym in order for that to be happening. I like that. Yeah, yeah. What else were they gonna say about... Oh, and the Godzilla's. To me, the thing I always find interesting about Godzilla is, I mean, there's a lot to it, but just radiation. And I think radiation and creativity have that same, know, that wah-wah. It's just like, it's just...

when you are so pent up with creativity, you know, it can just feel like your whole body is just radiating. so the mural is as big as the original Godzilla, but since the original Godzilla, like he continues to grow. Like he just keeps getting bigger and bigger. And I mean, there's a whole, you know, ecosystem that Godzilla kind of represents how global warming is getting bigger. like, you know, Godzilla is getting bigger because we're polluting more and things like that.

But that's also why I tie Godzilla to that big mural is because I tried to use as little amount of paint as possible So I'm reducing my environmental impact and creating art normally with stencils I layer 10 layers in order to create an image with that mural I I ended up figuring out a way to only use a single piece of paper so I reduced my environmental impact by like nine layers of of paper

And I mean, I even did some calculations of how much paper I actually used for that mural. It said it was about an eighth of a tree, which like I thought I was like, am I taking down like 10 trees? Am I taking down like, you know, half a forest or like, you don't know. So, but I was like, that's actually, that's pretty good.

Absolutely, especially for that ginormous wall.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12.344)
Yeah, so, yeah, I didn't project anything. I wanted the wall to kind of act like a t-shirt. So over time when like the mural fades, because time will happen, the sun will, will hit it and it'll fade the colors. I wanted that mural to really like age well with time. So being into like street wear and things like that, which is also why like your shirt's really cool. But yeah, it's just like over time it'll just fade and it'll look good.

But yeah, it's just all different influences. Like, and yeah, even just dealing with Foosh or like vintage shops that I've been into. That's a big source of inspiration. And maybe that's something we can talk about even now. Like where, what are, where do you find your inspiration for stuff?

Yeah, that's a good question. I feel like for myself, so in terms of this podcast, which is probably the most creative thing I'm doing in my life consistently, it's interesting because I have a live list that I keep of topic ideas that just come to me throughout time or things that I stand out as they've like really tangibly helped me with my health and wellness. But I always, the day I'm going to record or the day before, I'll ask myself, I'll try and maybe get into like a meditative state and really ask myself, what do I want to

What do I feel inspired to talk about or compelled to talk about? Looking back at what I've been feeling or experiencing like the past week, because I do feel like similarly with your art, when you're coming from a place of what you're going through and the feelings you're feeling, it's going to connect the best with the audience and it's going to be most relatable. think the most valuable. So I guess it's kind of always changing, but it really is just like, it can just be day to day life for me that inspires me the most, which now that I'm saying that I've never.

really thought about that until this moment, but I would think that it would be something more grand than that. But it really, think is like the day to day life that's happening that inspires me the most.

Speaker 1 (01:04:04.77)
Yeah, no, that's cool. One of the murals I did on White Ave, it was for a kombucha brand. yeah, people were like, like, I think with doing art, it's just, how do you constantly be creative? Like your demand is just to be able to output stuff on the spot. Yeah, having fun with things. But like, I remember designing this mural and I was like, I'm just going to like taste the flavors.

close my eyes and like see what I picture and you know try things and then it was like this mural with trees and a bunch of different wolves hiding in the in the rocks but the wolves like represented the flavors but you know you start you start with a blank slate and yeah yeah you let life influence you and and just yeah constantly switching it

Yeah, I guess it's really presence even with with both my example and yours Just being present with what is calling to you in that moment Like you're probably didn't go in thinking I'm gonna taste the flavors and let that inspire me and I'm not going through the day-to-day things that make you feel or think different things throughout your life But when it comes down to the moment of being present and what do I want to share or how do I want to express this? It really just comes down to presence. I feel like yeah

Yeah, I definitely lived like too far into the future. I think a couple years ago. Now I'm just like, and that's like when I start to remain, I'm like, my goodness. Cause you think of what everything could be.

Yeah, it just never end.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33.738)
Yeah, no, exactly. And then you can just be disappointed with yourself or the outcome or whatever, rather than just being like grateful for like right here and right now. Yeah. Not feeling motivated, but also just taking action, you know, when you're just sitting on the couch and...

doom scrolling, I try to be mindful of, especially when you're planning an art show. Yeah. I'm to get to the time where I'm like, I get like two more weeks. Oh, I guess Saturday. Yeah. Two more weeks. So I'm like, okay. Every time I go on my phone, this could be taking away from an experience that someone could have.

Yeah, yeah.

So it's that mindfulness of just like, okay, how are my actions right now going to impact my future self? rather than just thinking it's gonna be a success, which it sure will be. I could bring three pieces and that would still be a success, but that's also not what I have envisioned.

Yeah, and you know your potential right now. So I think it's like, you know what potential you could reach and what are you doing in this time leading up? That's it's really, again, I think about energy. Like if you're doom scrolling, no matter who you are or what you have coming up, it is depleting your energy or that energy could go into something that is going to lift you up and then radiate and be felt by others like at your show.

Speaker 1 (01:06:59.438)
Sure. Well, I mean, I guess it is like what you're consuming to. Absolutely. You know, I've definitely tried to be more conscious of, know, even just like when I don't want to see stuff on social medias, I'm just like, okay, no, not interested. Starting to like put limiting factors on it. I used to follow a lot of artists like growing up and stuff too. And I think comparison, you know, took a lot of joy out of things because you're like, oh, these...

my favorite artist is doing this and I'm not doing this. But I think even just interacting with people about the big mural, like it's had time to live in the city. And you know, when I introduced myself, I'm like, I did the bear mural. People were like, wow. Like, I mean, they say all sorts of stuff and I'm, I'm, definitely flattered, but it's still like kind of, it's weird when you hear these like awesome perspectives from people. And I'm like, you have no idea what I sacrificed to like.

Yeah.

do that and but I mean I also just have to be you know that that was the whole goal is for people to be stoked on it yeah and I don't know where I was going with this point

No, that's interesting. And it makes me think of musicians too, of like, I don't know, well known musicians. And they have a large amount of people who, when they hear their music and they're letting them know, we love your music. I don't know. It resonates with us. Like that's, I feel most connected, I think to music, but then seeing the artist as the human that had to go through what brought them to creating that, that can get so quickly lost. feel like.

Speaker 2 (01:08:33.643)
Like you're saying with people coming up to you about the mural and how it's so beautiful and like all the amazing things I'm sure they're saying. But yeah, then you're like, I'm, appreciate that. But I'm the human that went through this, this and this while that was being created.

Sometimes you don't want to like taint the the vision of how people see it, you know Like I think there's a part of a responsibility that I've had to like endure where it's like I was also just being like yeah, but All this stuff happened and then those people kind of just like I don't know it kind of takes a bit of the magic out of there like even with like a Disney movie it's you enjoy for what it is because it's the final product but you don't think about probably all the Arthritis that all the artists got from like drawing

hundreds or thousands of sketches for that or you know, maybe they got fired and then who knows where they're ended up now. So, but there is that beauty in that line of product that we should just enjoy. Enjoy that and yeah, I'm probably sounding a little bit harsh, but I mean, yeah, what it is.

I think that's a little bit too of like why as a kid escaping into creativity is so much more accessible because like you said we haven't you your brain doesn't have the capacity to understand kind of more the harsh realities of life and the things that you can experience throughout life that make it a little more harsh so then yeah I mean that's what yeah it's a tricky balance where it's like that's why we appreciate and want

art so that we can escape. then being the artist, you live with, like, I think of, I mean, you have to, not have to, but you see your art that you've created in the past, you'll continue to see it and it could bring up past feelings or thoughts or emotions. think of musicians who go on tours and they're singing songs, they wrote about something they went through years ago because the fans love it and maybe they are kind of like over it. Maybe it's a little painful.

Speaker 2 (01:10:28.59)
maybe they're a little numb to it now, but your initial reasoning for creating and sharing it was so that these people would resonate and enjoy it so that it's like, do I respect and honor my boundaries? And how do I do that while also honoring and providing for the people I originally wanted to show up for?

Well, and I think like with artists too, like we are going to be ahead of the curve. Like there will be paintings that you will be like, this is so advanced and it won't land with people. And then five years later, you'll be like, oh, you see a big artist doing it you're like, oh, I did that like literally five girls. I I think of the neon girls that I did. And like at the time, like hadn't really seen a lot of neon art and then like, yeah, saw some bigger artists doing that. But I think even when I did them,

I was like, I spent this investment to get all this stuff made. It's really delicate. It's like hard to deal with and just didn't land. But granted, if I probably kept doing that too, I'm sure it would have paid off. So that's where you just have to just keep creating, just keep producing things, you know, because you don't know when something will really stick with someone. I'm ready to receive that or like, especially with music. I, I'm very repetitive with music. I usually turn to other friends, like for.

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:43.33)
music advice or whatever. And this is kind of on a point of manifestation, slow, very slow manifestation. And also just probably feeling like I can deserve things that I maybe didn't think I did deserve in the past. But I have been obsessed with riff-raff. Like, absolutely. Like to a point where it's just like, I, I've been listening to riff-raff for like months now. And it's kind of like my go-to album, but he has a song and it's like, I want a Ferrari and it's

Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:12:11.542)
It's a good way for me to motivate myself. Yeah. Cause I'm just like, I don't want to do this. And it's like, okay, what do I do? I go listen to that song. And it's like, you know, maybe my future self will thank me for being like, you don't feel motivated to find something that triggers you to be motivated. know, I think we all get triggered with stuff nowadays, but find things that will trigger you to take action in a positive way.

Yeah, in a positive way. love that. And I think music is such a good outlet to use because it can, it's probably the thing that can most quickly get you into that visualization feeling like you're living in like what it would feel like to live that version of yourself. And I love that that's your song. have a song that I also listen to whenever I'm like stressed out, don't want to work. It's kind of like my

pre-work song, it's 100 mil by J. Cole. And he's like, 100 mil and I'm still on the grind. nowhere close, but one day. And he says, so that's why I like it. Cause he's like, I don't have a hundred mil. He's like, that was my song for me to put myself in that state of how would I act if I did in a way. it's not about the money, but it's just about putting yourself in the state of I'm doing this to bring myself.

to my most ideal dream version of life.

Yeah, well, one thing that I've been contemplating with the fight or flight thing, feel like it's one of those things where it's almost like, don't know, it's not necessarily bad to do that, but it's like, what are you going to be fighting for? And what are you also, I think like, I don't look at the flight as fleeing.

Speaker 1 (01:13:51.5)
You know, sometimes you can go to a new destination because you need to get pushed out of the nest and fly there. But yeah, it's like, okay, I'm on a flight to go find that better version of myself. But I will fight here for this right now because this is like what I have to stand my ground on. So when you're talking about, yeah, that 100 mil or the Ferrari, it's just like, you know, you kind of need...

this at sometimes or you need this at other times. But yeah, why not? Like if you don't believe that you're going to achieve that, then you never will.

Yeah, yeah, something I read recently was like the universe is not on a budget, so why would you not ask for something more grand than you can even feel like is realistic, but the more you kind of open yourself to that it could be realistic, the closer you get to it being realistic. And yeah, it's not about the money or material things, it's about just believing that you can live your most abundant life, whatever that looks like.

Yeah, I gonna say it's the abundant mindset. Like the world is always growing. you plant a seed, it will grow. a tree is not gonna go back into the ground. You can cut it away, but also the world will produce when we need things.

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11.918)
If you're trying to make jewelry and you're like, there's no gold, I'm sure there'll be a gold mine that someone finds in a year or two or whatever, because people will notice that there's like demand for that stuff. So, and even with this art show, I think through COVID and that mural, like I got it January, 2020, and then COVID happened. And then for three years, it was like up in the air, didn't know what was happening. And I think now, I mean, a couple of years later, people are...

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:15:40.332)
you know, getting back into going to events, connecting with people. think that's where connection is just such a powerful thing now. doing this art show, it's like, okay, yeah, like I'm ready to, you know, personally connect with more people or talk about things, you know, I've probably put in the reps to be able to handle having a night that is like centered around my artwork, which still feels weird. Like I'm still like, I'm doing this like all...

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:16:09.89)
Like it's all my stuff, but at the same time, like I'm creating opportunity for people to like go out and hang out.

And you deserve it. You don't even always have to have another reason. Like you deserve it. And like you are creating that space for connection. So true what you said about being like post COVID times, which really wasn't that long ago, but talk about fight or flight. Like we've all been, and we all were especially in fight or flight. And then even coming out of that, sure, the, I guess the lockdowns and all that went away, but we don't just bounce back to having a healthy, flexible nervous system where you feel like it's normal to connect with people.

And so it does and it has taken time, but I agree that we're now getting back to where I guess one positive could be that I think people do appreciate connection more than previous to that experience. And it really is essential to human beings.

Well, and I think, you know, maybe we just were practicing fighting the whole time during COVID. And we weren't like practicing our flight mechanism. It was just like, let's just fight or fight or fight or flight or flight. And I think like there is that balance between the yin and the yang. And yeah, it's actually funny, the Godzilla stencils that I'm working on, they're on clips on my wall. But the way the shape of the Godzilla tail are,

like with the two stencils side by side. It is like a yin-yang. Cause like the tail has a curve. Um, so, you know, I'm like noticing the balance in these cause one's a dark layer and one's a light layer. No, but you just like, and like normally I just put my stencils on the floor, but I'm like, Oh, I'm working on so much stuff that there's like no floor space.

Speaker 2 (01:17:43.682)
mean for that to happen?

Speaker 2 (01:17:49.24)
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:55.264)
And this is the first time I'm hanging stencils up on a wall. And I've had stencils get destroyed in floods and studios and stuff that you can't really replace the time that you put into hand carving. And it's also not the same. I could cut something out twice and it'll not be the same. but yeah, it's, it's interesting to like see. It's just weird. It's just weird how all these things are just slightly connected and you're like, did I plan this? Or like, is this just putting things out there? But that's just, that's just the world. The world is just creating.

creating random interactions like

Yeah, you're co-creating with the world, the universe. And yeah, it's like how much of this is my intention? How much of it is that like divine power at work? And I think it's always just a co-creation.

Well, and I think with art, this thing I struggle with is like value. I think that what I'm doing and what I've done over the years, it really is priceless. Even that big mural, even when I got paid, it just was, it could never justify the amount. And I still think I had the concept of the overall impact that that would happen, but the people that were paying for it probably didn't.

You know, they're like they're just looking at his numbers in a budget totally and they're like actually one at one point in time I was asked by the vice president of the company to remove the animals from the mural And I was like that literally defeats the whole purpose Yeah I wanted people to feel connected with nature and like remind yourselves that even though we live in city and we don't have mountains around us there is something bigger than our city limits and like I wanted people to

Speaker 2 (01:19:18.678)
Ha

Speaker 2 (01:19:27.404)
Yeah.

to yeah, think about the mountains, think about nature, think about like the world. So it was very funny for corporate people to be like, want.

Of course, you're like, this is so classic of you.

Yeah, and I was just like, no, that's just not happening. Like, no, that's...

Well, I'm glad you stood your ground. yeah, it just would have totally changed everything.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51.074)
But it was, yeah, was a little, it was a comedic relief for that project. it was just, yeah, it was just, but I held onto that dream of just like, it's gonna, it's gonna work out. It was up on the wall, but yeah, but you don't, you don't count your chickens before they hatch. You gotta, you gotta wait. But yeah, yeah, the world, it's, there's a lot of energy out there. my.

Work out

Speaker 2 (01:20:06.486)
So yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:20:14.094)
The energy, it's, it's, we are in a...

We've got pink northern lights now. I know. Like, I don't know. I don't know what explains that, but yeah.

Exactly right, some things you just can't explain. But yeah, we're in a, have you seen them? Like yourself?

No, I was chatting with a friend though and she lives in BC and everybody was freaking out. I was just on the phone and everybody was like, oh my gosh, they're so pink and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was just like, okay, yeah. And then she sent me a picture of them and I was like, yeah, I was like, this looks like AI.

Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:20:46.851)
Really?

Yeah, scary. no, I was sad I didn't see them myself, but yeah, there's some things we just can't explain and I do think we're in a very energetically heavy but like transformative time. I really feel like if have you ever heard of human design? It's like a It's not astrology but in the same way as like you give your birth time and okay and all that and then it

tells you your design specifically to you. So it goes further than astrology. This is like very specific to you.

We talked about it once. But it's like how you would best operate in life. So I really like it because yeah, it's a reminder of that you aren't going to necessarily thrive the way others will thrive or whatever. so in this world of human design, they say that energetically we're like entering a new paradigm in 2027. And everything that's happening right now leading up is preparing us to enter that new paradigm where things are just going to be different.

It's just going to be different. And I think if you look at the world socially, internationally, in all ways, things have been crazy. So I'm like, I can kind of see how that's happening. I mean, this is probably just evolution. I'm sure this has happened throughout all of time or always evolving and things are changing. But I think I can really, and everyone seems to really feel it whenever I've talked about recently, even just feeling like off for different energetically strange, almost everyone that I talked to is like,

Speaker 2 (01:22:22.585)
yeah, I've been feeling that.

Well, it's the speed of it.

Yeah, you think back to I don't know even like 1800s or things like that. Like people probably had a whole generation Live a pretty consistent life But now it's like it's everybody's on skates everybody can stop on a dime and like pivot and go fast the other direction But I think that's also just finding consistency in yourself because you can be in different situations But now it's how you act in those things. Like am I always am I rushing through stuff all the time? It's like I'm not gonna

to 2027 to be like, Oh, something big is going to happen in 2027. I'll just, move at the pace of 24 hours and go from there. So what do you think about even where it's like, you know, if this is your star chart or whatever and you know,

Yeah. Yeah, trust.

Speaker 1 (01:23:13.976)
Like I personally am like, you know, I think that you can have traits based off of like when you were born and how that stuff works. I mean, I think there's a lot to learn as far as like the universe and stuff like that. Do you think reading into that stuff too much can also be like, you know, or do you think like that's just, yeah, I don't know.

I think, so just speaking of COVID times, I really deep dove into astrology, like bought the books, I was doing the whole thing. And so before that, was very much, all I knew was really horoscopes. I was like, no, I don't co-sign horoscopes. Cause how can this one horoscope be accurate from the millions of people in the world today? Like, how are we all going to have the same day because we were all born on the same day and like our sun sign is the same. So I didn't co-sign that. Astrology, I've just seen so much evidence of

traits that people have, depending on what it is, you can go very deeply into it. And that's where I find it can be the most accurate. I think when you're just looking at like, I'm a Pisces. Yeah. It's a little too broad. And yeah, I think that's goes into even just healing work in general. When you are hyper focusing on that and almost looking at it as a way to solve yourself.

Right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:24:34.094)
like looking at astrology, you're like, okay, why am I this way? And why am I this way? And why am I this way? It can almost become like a crutch. And I don't love when people will be like, well, that's just how I am. a, you're right. Aquarius moon. Like that's how I am. I think that it's very informative to kind of help you see where you could have strengths and weaknesses and then be aware of those and maybe like work with them. And it's like, it's not like you

can't change, like not change, but it's not like you can't be aware of and adjust your behavior, responses or reactions based on what comes naturally to you. Like I've, I'm a Pisces Sun and I heavily identify with that. I'm like very dreamy in the clouds. Like I said, like I can dream of things and then putting them into action was like the hardest thing in my life, like very emotional, watery, all that. So I identify with that. But then

Like I wouldn't want to use that and just be like, well, like you need to be sensitive with me because I'm a sensitive person. So like watch how you talk, you know? If that makes sense, what are you? What's your sign? a Capricorn. A Capricorn.

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:25:42.35)
But I also think it's like interesting because like when you're born it's it's That was like kind of like too on par. could keep that. cue here. That's funny. See that's just how the world works. That's That's creepy. but yeah it's just like how you see the world is going to be different than someone who's born in like the springtime.

That was creepy.

Speaker 2 (01:26:10.41)
Yeah.

But yeah, there's there's sometimes where I'm like, you know, you'll you'll get your your horoscope but you're like, this is like what I'm going through or sometimes you'll be feeling those things and you'll you'll read it or you said like you'll you'll hear it on a podcast or it'll put a puzzle piece in but yeah, I mean, it's all what you do with the inspiration.

Yeah

Speaker 2 (01:26:27.52)
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:26:32.782)
G. I think that's exactly it. It is really comforting to have things that you're reading and identifying with them and relating to them. Like the book I bought in COVID was Spiritual Astrology, and it goes through each sign for each planet and each house, which houses are another layer to astrology. And I have to say, like, when I'd read them, I'd find myself be like, Whoa, that's so me. I saw someone recently on a podcast and they were arguing this where they're like, how can

millions of people in the world who share these same placements be experiencing the same thing like we all have all of these traits, but again, I think it's just The level of what comes naturally to you and being aware with it aware of it and working with it instead of just being like looking for excuses for how you are

Well, and I think that something I'm trying to be more mindful of is just If I have bad habits, and I want to break them and I'm like, okay if I'm like the torrent if a sign is notorious for this kind of like you said like I'm just a toro so I just You have to accept me for this. Yeah, like okay. Well, you can also use that to your advantage and being like, okay This is what I struggle with. How do I like? You know flip it or how do I try to make it more fun that I'm you know trying to because I honestly I'm a messy person

Yeah, I feel like making art like there's just there's canvas all over my apartment right now. Yeah, spray cans like in my kitchen cupboards. Yeah, it's just crazy. Yeah, I'll have you know, parents come over and they're like,

Yeah, but you could be like you could be designed. That's why I really love I like astrology But I also love human design because like you could be designed where environments that you thrive in are like messy Yeah, that's what I something I've found through my own chart of human design is kitchens spaces that allow for creative Collaboration to happen or apparently where I'm supposed to do my best work and then like I'm a generator it's called so essentially that means like I

Speaker 2 (01:28:31.85)
and meant to do what brings me joy and lifts me up. And then the energy of that will like serve me and my purpose and those around me in the best way. So that's why I like human design. Cause I'm sure if we look into your chart, these things would make sense. Yeah, I actually would like love to calculate your chart for you. That would be really interesting. But with astrology too, like at the women's, I do full moon workshops and we'll usually get into some of people's astrology and

Yeah, yeah, to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:29:01.002)
It is, like we've said, it's kind of offering people insight and they pretty much always identify with it. But again, it's, okay, I'm aware of this. And it's just really the awareness being the key. I'm aware that this could be my nature. So how do I work with that to show up as my best self?

And I guess like people probably, let me see if I can try to describe this thought, but like when you dive into that stuff, but people are already there, it probably seems like it's very easy to connect. This is happening to me because I'm here, but they were also making steps in order to be there to hear that stuff. So it's not like, I'm hearing this today. It's like they planned.

for that like session of growth or whatever, right? So I mean, yeah, I find that, yeah, that's interesting. Cause it's like, you're also like helping people set themselves up for growth, success, you know, trying to move towards their goals, which I think is very valuable for a lot of people because yeah, and that's something that I have never really had a mentor with art or anything like that. It's just been me driving myself, but yeah, I mean, to just have that extra.

help to like push people into that new chapter is probably people are probably really really stoked that they can they can get that help.

That's a good point that maybe sometimes it's how receptive one is to these insights that can make a difference because yeah, not everyone is in a place where they are ready to hear that even in terms of if we're talking about the astrology and you are telling someone who has no interest in it, no really interest or they hadn't hit a

Speaker 2 (01:30:44.174)
point in life yet of seeing the power or impact of maybe wanting to be aware of their nature and things they can do to better themselves. So maybe they'll hear if you want to tell them, these are the traits you could have is this sign or whatever, and they're just, maybe their instinct would be to say, that's my excuse for this behavior, you know? Or they would fight it and be like, no, that's not me. This stuff isn't real, which is fine.

I've had people in my day job be like, how can you believe that, that stuff that's like just so not true? Like, and I'm just like, that's fine. You're not in a place to believe it or accepted or, and that's okay. It used to trigger me, right? Be like, how could you like say that to someone? Like, how could you diminish what someone else believes in? But now I'm just like, everyone is open to things and receptive to things when they are ready to be.

I find that with artwork too. I'll have, you know, some buddies or some people will be like, I would never buy anything. Like why would I spend that money? And then all of sudden there'll be like one piece that someone likes. And then they're ready and they're like, how much is this? Or like how, you know, like I really like this or I want a piece now. you know, but it's because there's that unsaid force that is just like provoking someone.

Yeah, they're ready!

Speaker 2 (01:32:08.16)
Yeah.

someone will cry in front of a painting. One thing that I always loved about that big mural on Jasper Ave. was diagonal from the General Hospital and a couple personal stories that people were trying to go for a few extra walks to go see the artwork and stuff like that. Those were...

special.

I mean that's just why I love doing like public art, you know, it's it's it's not for the money It's not for the exposure, but it's just for how people can create memories with with stuff like that Yeah, mean, but yeah, you don't really it only happens when it happens

Yeah, yeah, so trying not to be triggered by other people's responses, reactions, or feelings and just trusting whenever you're ready, and even maybe you'll never be in your life. That's okay. We're all on our own journey. Life's more peaceful that way. And yeah, I think I used to take those kind of comments as a personal attack. And that's just all to do with me. It's not even what the other person, they're not saying anything about you at all, but it just brings up your own stuff. So.

Speaker 1 (01:33:12.386)
Yeah, had a, guess receiving criticism is something that's like interesting. I've actually been very fortunate. I've had a lot of really positive criticism from, towards my art, like a few Facebook posts on the mural and it was like 400 comments, not even a single bad thing. But then I was like looking for, I was being negative towards myself being like, it's not even done yet. Like how can they say they like it? It's like not done. Or, you know, people will blame me for communication when I'm like,

Listen, there's only so much I can do in a day. So it's just like, this is what I'm trying to produce. like, sure, there is going to be other things where I fall short in, but that's because I'm putting all my skill points into creating art. I think I've also been trying to put some other experience into other things that I need to work on. But I was in Toronto and I did a show with one of my buddies and this one guy was like, I don't know. was, I think it was a Saturday. He was definitely...

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:34:10.996)
definitely partying it up that day but it was like during the day it was kind of weird but I ended up buying some of my pocket paintings so I was totally cool.

Yeah, you're like great.

so I ended up making like a Banksy one too. This will get someone. I was like, it'll be familiar. Someone will buy it. But then I had some like, you know, some like glitter holographic on the cards and the guy was like, why did you put this? It's so weird. Blah, blah, blah. And he was just like kind of saying some other stuff where I was just like, dude, that's a, it's a little outdated perspective. But I was also just like, you know what? This guy's entitled to say what he wants. And I was also just like,

Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:34:49.09)
You just put money in my pocket. You didn't invest into this. And even if you didn't like the sparkly glitter cards, there is some people out there that will like them and they'll like them more. Other stuff. So, even with the show, I'm really trying to have like a big variety of stuff. There's some paintings. I'm so excited. I love these little guys that I've been doing. They're squirrels counting cash. my God. And I just find it like funny because like, yeah, I mean like billionaires, rich people, we all want to like.

That's what Bill wants.

Speaker 1 (01:35:18.61)
We all want to a handful of cash. But also there's like the hoarding aspect where it's like, okay, if you're just hoarding all your money and you're not doing anything, because I heard that squirrels will often just like gather and lose track of the stuff that they have. And I'm like, okay, well, you don't know who that could be like helping feed or whatever. So the idea of squirrels counting cash and hoarding things was

Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:35:41.742)
you know, came to be, but for the show, there's gonna be squirrels with like blue bills, purple bills, green bills, red bills, and like brown bills, but I'm gonna be selling the blue bill squirrel for five bucks. That's like what's in his hand. So it's like, me $5 and I'll give you this thing, but it's like, then the red one will be $50.

my god.

Speaker 2 (01:36:02.456)
Yeah.

It's like, it's not worth it for me to just paint one thing and sell it for, you know, $5. But if I make five things, that covers the cost of time to like, the stencil. But if I sell the whole set, it'll be like $185. You know, it seems worth the time investment. also, if someone is on the hunt for something and they, like I don't necessarily...

I know art is a bit of a luxury because technically you don't need it to survive every day. Which I still am a huge believer of how art can positively affect like mental health and just, you know, I've stayed at places that have no art and it's just white walls and I'm like driving myself mad and I go home and I have so much art here. This makes me like feel energized and this, that and the other thing. So yeah, the show is really just to try to get art in people's homes. So just be like.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:36:56.264)
Yeah.

You don't have to come with hardly any money.

Yeah, that's such a cool concept. So I think people do have that preconceived notion of like if I'm gonna have true art I'm gonna have to spend thousands of dollars and you definitely have pieces that are worthy of that sure do that, but I like the Expanding the accessibility to it. Yeah, and what you said about It's not necessarily a necessity. But yeah It creates the energy of the space. That's why people enjoy like decorating their homes because you're creating the energy

that you want to be in, that you feel comfortable, you feel safe in, or it's inspiring you, like what inspires you to see every day. So yeah, it's not something that's necessarily keeping you alive, like your food, but it's pretty essential in certain ways.

Sure. I mean, I always think of like the classic kitten poster where it's like hang in there. It's like, well, at least you have something that's reminding you to like stay in there. There's just like a blank wall that's not telling you to do that. But I also really want this like artwork to be conversation pieces and not just like, I like that color. I like this one. I want to be like, which one did you get? And I think that's something that I'm learning from Pokemon.

Speaker 1 (01:38:10.902)
It's like such a huge company and I mean, it's, it's, there's probably a science behind marketing this stuff, but, yeah, I want people to connect and I want people to, you know, maybe people will trade stuff. You never know. Yeah.

Yeah. That's so cool. So if there was someone who is out there listening and is like, I've had this idea and I don't know how to start. Do you have any insight into maybe what you do or any advice into starting a creative idea?

Okay, so I think there's two different ways to kind of approach an idea. There's an idea that you have that you want to complete and then there's also like if a client's coming to you with your skill set to do something. So gather information, you know, if someone's just coming to you and be like, hey, this is what we want. Try to get to know people, have conversations, like talk about what they're looking at. But if you have an idea, I'd probably go for a walk.

I love a walk.

I think going for a walk is something that can boost your senses. think that's something that really affects creativity. You know, writing lists always helps. Planning an art show, I'm like, I've been writing a lot of lists. You know, I think that if you haven't connected with people in a long time too, that's something that I'm having to kind of get over is, I need people to come to my art show. Like, how do I...

Speaker 2 (01:39:31.598)
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:39:42.99)
How do I reach out? I think you just do it. Don't let fear cloud your judgment. One quote that I really, really love from this year is from a movie Megalopolis.

Okay, I think you told me about this. Yeah.

Well, it's I will not let time have damnation on my thoughts. And that is something where I'm like, okay, don't don't let time stress you out. You know, there you can only do so much in a day. So try to do as much as you can in a day. But yeah, just close your eyes, see what you want to achieve. Go on your walk. Don't be afraid that your ideas might be better than you could have ever imagined.

Just because you're picturing something you also might like through the process you will probably Come out with something better. Yeah, because it's actually tangible The big mural I wrote in my notes I could have never imagined this being as good as it was Because all I'd ever saw was just renderings or computer drawings or simpler versions. But yeah, it's fear is something that is can really consume you but

yeah I mean you just gotta kind of take that leap of faith and see what can happen and just practice repetition yeah you know

Speaker 2 (01:41:05.254)
Yeah, well, cause that is what will slowly take the fear away. It's the saying like, do it scared. The more I learned about the nervous system, you literally have to do things scared because you're all, it's always going to feel scary to your brain, your body to do anything new, especially when you're, creative. So you're putting yourself out there and probably a vulnerable way. So I like what you're saying. And I think the tying, the thing that ties all these methods together to start is giving yourself the time and space to just be.

so that you can like come in touch with your body and that'll create the safety to feel like you can take action forward. And even when you don't feel like it and you're scared or you're feeling like stuck or numb, just like you said, put a pen to paper. Maybe it's like three words that day, but at least you're getting something out or go for a five minute walk. I'm curious, do you do headphones in with your walks?

Ummm... Well, I've already lost one of my AirPods. no!

So I didn't voluntarily know.

So, but there has been something usually when I put in headphones, it's like time to work. So there is a lot of times too where I'll just have an air pod in. Yeah. One air pod. I'll put my air pod in and then I won't even listen to anything. It's weird how your brain can kind of just make that connection to be like, okay, I don't want to work. You put a headphone in, even if it's quiet, you'll like work for an hour and be like, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:42:30.146)
Yeah. It's like a signal to your body and your brain to get in that zone. I was just curious because I have again, been going on more walks over the last few years, learning about just bettering myself mentally and overall. And I love music and like escaping into music when I'm walking. I remember walking to school every day of my life and I would

have my music in and I would be just visualizing myself singing the songs like on stage, just escaping. Another very Pisces thing. We love to escape. the route is. love that. And so then podcasts like self-help podcasts or podcasts where I'm learning. And then I was learning that when it comes to wanting to get into like that creative flow state and have ideas come through or get in touch with yourself or you're wanting to regulate and if you're experiencing anxiety or something, the power of walking like with nothing.

in and just, like you said, letting yourself experience all your senses presently. So I've been trying to do that more often and just do my like, calling it my raw dogging walks and not putting in headphones because that usually was what was motivating me was like, I'm going to go listen to my music or listen to my podcast. But I hate to report that it's true that like you really do. There's just another level of feeling that presence and having ideas come through when you're not having any sort of distractions.

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:43:52.622)
I like sneakers, so I find I can be distracted too, just from looking at your shoes and walking. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, remind yourself to try to find a bird. Look. And I think that's what you're kind of explaining is it's the juxtaposition of what you're used to. If you're used to looking at the ground, look in the sky, maybe you'll see some stuff that just loops around to inspiration. This is what you're comfortable with.

Okay, like let's switch it up and see and and yeah not having headphones in you hear a conversation that's going on Yeah, and someone might be like, I'm struggling with this or or this inspired me and then that could create a conversation. We're like, Hey, I overheard you. Yeah The invites from my art show that I just did they're all original paintings So I hate I don't hate social media, but I it's something that I'm uncomfortable with because I don't frequently do it all the time

I can assume it, but I'm trying to create with it. but I was like, I can kill a couple of birds with, you know, one spray can and just paint all these. then I only made a hundred. So I can't just be handing these out like willy nilly. So I was walking down white Ave and I was like, I also felt very fearless. Like if I didn't have those and I just went up to talk to people, probably just wouldn't. But I also had like intent. So I think if you're, if you have an idea, do it with intent.

Yeah.

You know, and things will fall into place. And it's like, I didn't have the idea of painting my own invitations. When I started the idea for this, I was just like, Hey, I need to clear out my stock. My apartment is overflowing with stuff. Okay. That's the problem. So much, so much stuff. And yeah, I don't know if you're afraid of stuff like work backwards from the thing, right? It's like, okay, you want to have an art show.

Speaker 2 (01:45:33.933)
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:45:47.982)
or whatever, okay, what do I need in order to do that? Okay, I might need like 20 to 30 art pieces. Okay, you have 10 of them, perfect. That's one big problem solved. Now I need to make 10 more new ones and then maybe 10 more will come through the process of creation. But yeah, I was forced to go talk to people and also people were very nonchalant. was like, yeah, just go throw a bunch of out front. And I was like, no, I only...

I only can give you one invitation to this event. I wanted it to feel like precious because yeah, I mean people are going to be taking time out of their day to hopefully come see my work. you know, that's yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:46:32.334)
Yeah, and quality over quantity. I think there's power in that and then that's the energy you're inviting in rather than, okay, I want like as many people as possible, like hundreds of people. So I'm just throwing out invitations and maybe half-assing an invitation and throwing it out. But if you have, like you said, your intention is to bring the people and whoever's meant to be there is going to be there and connect with your art.

So I think you putting that sort of energy into the invitations and connecting with people is only going to show.

Right. And it's like, I can control how I make them. Yeah. But I can't control who makes it. And, but that's also just like, you know, putting yourself out there more times than just like, invited these 10 people and I didn't say anything else. Hopefully all 10 people show up. It's like, no, I'm going to invite every single person I know that I can reach out to and see what happens and, gather information and see what happens for the next one. And also,

Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:47:30.382)
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:47:35.372)
I have to be very mindful of new ideas and I think that's self-sabotaging sometimes because I'm like, this is a really cool idea, but I'm like, next show. Yeah. And it's cool to kind of have that where I'm like, okay, next show. This will be good, but I have to have that connection now.

Yeah. Like you're saying, just taking even a small step towards what your final vision or your idea is, is going to be worth it. And like you talked about a lot too, not feeling you have to rush.

It's the time to digest. Like, you can't just eat a giant meal. You're not gonna get the energy from the food for a little bit. Like, you have to give it time to digest and people have to take time to like, you know, people will go shopping. They'll go window shopping and then they'll try something on and then, you know, sometimes they don't always buy it right off the bat, but sometimes they'll be like, I wanna go get it.

I've, I, uh, you want to build that hunger in people and you can't force it on people, know? So it's lots of things to consider, but I mean, if you have an idea and you're executing an idea, you are the one with the creativity to execute it because you are the one with the idea that wants to do it. sometimes it's difficult when you approach people or you're talking to friends like, should I do this color or that color?

It's good to still get like feedback from people, but I mean, I've heard this too many times to count where I like to ask people opinions and then they're like, well, I don't know. You're the artist. And I'm like, okay, yes, I understand. like, I'm also lost right now. So I'm trying to ask you guys like, you know, some, cause sometimes it's like, yeah, I may be an expert in this field, but there's other areas where I'm just like, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:49:21.4)
What's your?

Speaker 2 (01:49:33.656)
Yeah, and different perspectives. Yeah. that's something I would, I was reading, I think even the other day about when it comes to wanting to tap into like how to strengthen your intuition. And that was one of the things where it's like, before you immediately go and ask for other people's opinions and advice, ask like, have I actually sat with myself and really asked what my intuition is telling me? Like what my opinion or my thought is? And of course then.

You can go out and gather opinions and information because that's valuable too. Always being sure that you still are considering your intuition and your idea and thought. But yeah, I mean, you have to connect and like get other perspectives. I feel like that's what keeps you growing. And even if you don't agree, it gives you food for thought.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. and sometimes that's how you get your answer. Someone will literally give the answer you weren't looking for and then you're just like, okay, well, I'm still gonna do what I...

Yeah, thank you. Moving on.

Yeah, yeah, I think honestly biggest thing is just trying to keep things fun. It's yeah, that's and that's something I've been kind of noticing. I've been saying a lot like, I can't believe you took the time to like paint each one of these individually. I was like, yeah, but like it was fun. Yeah. Like, like if it wasn't fun, it would have taken me five times as long. And I think even working with clients, sometimes, sometimes that's the difference. Like I think I was, I was really

Speaker 2 (01:50:36.673)
Yeah, yeah

Speaker 2 (01:50:50.254)
That's so important.

Speaker 1 (01:51:03.18)
trying to work for other people because I was like, that's where the money is. But then I was just wasting time because like, they would be like, you'd have those good couple conversations and they get cold feed and then you're trying to convince people to invest in you and you're like, this isn't fun. And it's like, I don't even want to do it. Even if it's like two grand or three grand, like sure, sometimes you got to do that, but what if I made like 10 grand by having fun?

Yeah, I think it's not what we're taught at all, but the fun is what actually will keep you the most productive and keep you consistent. It's more sustainable to do something that's fun because even just naturally we will resist things that don't feel fun or feel like an obligation or kind of like stress you out. You don't find joy in so and then when your pleasure bridges into business, that is such a hard thing to navigate because there's aspects that have

aren't gonna feel very fun, but they're allowing you to still show up and do the thing that's fun. Even like I'll be asked with doing this because it was a passion project and people will ask, well, do you still, are you still passionate about it? Is it still fun for you to do? And that's what I want to keep it as. But naturally once you start doing something, you get more comfortable with it, I find you can just get, like you said, comfortable and like routine of things and just thinking, how can I expand this? How can I grow this? How can I do more? But

whenever you can just bring fun into it.

Yeah, well and it's like if you like yeah art wasn't fun for me for a while

Speaker 2 (01:52:34.849)
Yeah.

I was like, this really sucks. Every time I try to make something, I would get really bad anxiety. Just being like, would go, I would go paint. There's a gym that I paint at and I would go paint there. I was by myself. I'll just be like, I just want to cry. I was like, what? Like this should be something that I love doing. And then I just started to avoid art. I was just like, wow, this is not, not fun. Like then you start like playing video games or you start indulging in other things that aren't a good use of your time.

but the only, like what I found personally worked is like go do something that sucks. Yeah. You know, I helped, help the buddy, he's an electrician. He's like, I need a, I need a trench dug for an electrical wire. Okay. Yeah. And I need some extra cash. Yeah. Why not? Hang out with the buddy for the day. Sucked. Just sucked. Like it was like eight hours of just digging a hole clay. was like, but, but when I was digging the hole, I was like,

That is not.

Speaker 1 (01:53:31.692)
I like clay. may not be sculpting right now, but I am digging out clay from the earth. And that's something that like... applicable. And, you know, and there's that... Your brain is like telling you to stop. Like I got a huge blister on my hand and it was like, no, just stop. Like you only have one more swing left in you with this pickaxe digging up rocks and stuff. But then you just keep doing it. And then you're like, after that day, you're like, I didn't even know that my body was capable of doing that. And then...

Yeah.

you know, and then you have the opportunity to do what you love. And you're like, I just did this for 16 hours.

Yeah, it brings you back to appreciating what you've been doing for fun. Yeah, I like that getting some like variety and sometimes you do just have to make yourself do hard things that you don't enjoy for whatever reason, but it'll bring you back to gratitude.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I honestly feel like I, I didn't really verbalize that. I think, I think I just was internally grateful for a lot of people and I don't think I expressed that to a lot of people. And then it kind of got myself into situations where then you're having to defend yourself that you are grateful for people. But then it's like, you're, it's coming from a place of defense rather than just expressing it.

Speaker 2 (01:54:48.472)
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:54:52.224)
So yeah, up until more recently, like I've just kind of learned that because I didn't really learn that growing up. So, or it's like, you should be, you should be. And it's like, well, I am, but like when you say I should be, it doesn't come across as the same thing. I get to do this rather than I have to do it.

Yeah, the obligation. I think we feel obligated and pressured to do, even when it's gratitude, you should be grateful because there's a lot of things too you can look at. And yeah, I think that was my episode, my last episode of this podcast is it's like, yeah, I do have to do these things that I'm on the surface. You don't see a reason to be grateful or to enjoy it. But when it comes from a place of you are aware of and searching for that gratitude within yourself, you can

pretty much always find a reason to feel grateful for whatever it is. Okay, anything else before we wrap up that you really want to share today?

I haven't really had to say this but like I often struggle with finishing something and then instantly feeling that regret or just like anxiety of Should I have said this should I do that? Yeah, just just go easy on yourself, you know Yeah, just go easy on yourself and I think just showing up is the the hardest battle so don't be Don't be hard on yourself when you have to go home

Yeah, I really like that. think that's really an important reminder because we always see the finished product of someone and we can admire people's work. And I almost guarantee almost everyone or anyone that you admire or inspired by has probably felt those self-doubting feelings or thoughts. So yeah, I like that reminder. Just give yourself grace, go easy on yourself, let things breathe when you finish them.

Speaker 1 (01:56:45.154)
Yeah, like even even you mentioned earlier just some self-help podcasts. There's times where I'm like, I wish I read all these books. Like I should read, I should read all these, all these books in order to do this. And it's just the time to digest. sometimes you aren't ready to receive that information. So yeah, just, just, yeah.

Let yourself be in a state of being, I feel like, too. I got caught in that where it's like constantly feeling like I to be learning, learning, learning, implementing. It's okay to just like let things settle in, just purely live your life. And maybe having fun and being creative is like the chapter you're in. And that's what you're focusing on at this time. You'll question things you've done and that's okay, we all do. Just trust that it came out of you for a reason.

Yeah, no for sure. Yeah. No, I think yeah, honestly, thank you for having me. It's it's cool to be on the other side of it too where Yeah, you know you listen to it and now I get to experience it

Well, I'm so grateful for you being here. Again, I'm having like a out of body moment, just thinking of how this is all our journeys separately and together now. And I've said it before, but I am so proud of you. I admire you. And I'm so excited to watch your journey continue for years and years to come. And everyone, if you're in the area, Edmonton area needs to go check out.

Grady's art show. is November 29th, am I correct?

Speaker 1 (01:58:14.424)
November 29th from 3 to 10 and it's downtown on 104th Street at Foosh. So yeah, come check it out. There's going to be some art there.

Yeah, and we will post details on our Instagram in the podcast description. I will link Grady's profiles and I'm going to share examples of his past art projects when we announced this episode. So thank you again for being here, Grady. I've had so much fun today. Thank you guys for listening and I will talk to you next week. Bye bye.