Perfectionism: How it can increase your menopause symptoms

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Transcript

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Welcome to Joyful Menopause, where we are diving deep into the real issues that affect women in their prime. And today, we're tackling something that's powerful but often invisible, perfectionism. And something you maybe haven't considered, how perfectionism might be making your menopausal symptoms worse. I'm your host, Lynda Enright, a functional nutritionist with 25 years of experience helping women manage their health in a way that is sustainable and most importantly, not driven by perfection. Perfectionism may have been the invisible force driving you to excel in your career and caring for family and even in the expectations you set for yourself. But what if this very drive for perfection is doing more harm than good, especially as we navigate the complexities of life during perimenopause and menopause? In this episode, we will explore why perfectionism might be stealing more peace than it brings, how it affects your health, how it might be intensifying stress and even magnifying menopause symptoms. Maybe you wouldn't consider yourself a perfectionist per se, but if you've ever felt the need to be perfect in any aspect of your life and health habits, your diet, exercise, or routines to feel better, this episode is for you. And stay until the end, I'll tell you about my client Carolyn, who finally started losing weight when she followed the tips we'll be talking about today. So let's get started. I want to start today with some questions for you. Why do you want to be healthy? And what does healthy mean to you? What are your health goals? And what do you want your health for? So take a moment to think about that. Often we focus on being healthy because we want to feel good, have energy, be present in our lives. But somewhere along the way, especially as we get older and face new challenges like perimenopause or menopause, that desire can shift into something a bit more rigid. Many of us begin to feel that if we don't do everything perfectly, if we don't eat right, exercise enough, or stick to our routines exactly, we'll never feel the way we used to. That pressure to do it all right can become overwhelming, and that's where perfectionism creeps in. It can tell us that if we're not doing everything perfectly, we're failing. But here's the catch. Perfectionism is not the key to health. In fact, it can make things worse. There is, maybe not a surprise to you, a connection between perfectionism and stress. What happens when you try to be perfect? It can increase your levels of stress because honestly, perfection is rarely attainable. And stress is a huge factor when it comes to menopause symptoms. When you push yourself to meet unrealistic expectations, you are adding unnecessary stress to an already challenging time. During menopause, your body is changing in significant ways. Hormonal shifts, like fluctuations in estrogen, can make you more susceptible to stress, and that stress can amplify symptoms like hot flashes, sleep disturbances, mood swings, and fatigue. The more stressed you feel, the more intense these symptoms can become. Think about it. If you're already frustrated by the symptoms you're experiencing, maybe it's insomnia, brain fog, or weight gain, and you believe that the only solution is to be perfect, it creates a vicious cycle. You try harder, but the symptoms persist, or they get even worse, leading to more frustration and stress. The cycle continues, making you feel like you're failing, even when you are actually doing your best. So I have another question for you. What are your symptoms getting in the way of? Are they preventing you from living the life you want? Perhaps your brain fog is making it harder to focus at work or your sleep issues are keeping you from being present with your family. These are real challenges, but perfectionism doesn't solve them. What you need to recognize is that the desire to be perfect is often fueled by frustration. This frustration of not feeling like you used to, and it's completely normal, of course, to feel this way. But the truth is. Trying to be perfect only adds to the frustration. It prevents you from giving yourself grace and accepting that your body is changing, that you are changing. Here's the good news. You don't need to be perfect to feel better. In fact, letting go of perfectionism can be one of the most powerful things you do for your health. So start by shifting your focus from perfection to progress. Instead of striving for a perfect diet or an exercise routine, aim for consistency. Find what works for you and your body right now. Some days you might have the energy for a full workout, while other days a simple walk is just great. And that's totally okay. It's also important to prioritize self compassion. Understand that you are doing your best and that is enough. Your body needs time and care during this transition. Rather than punishing yourself for not meeting an impossible standard, reward yourself for the small steps that you take each day. Every health choice, no matter how small, counts. What we are talking about today is eliminating perfectionism to reduce your menopause symptoms. So let's talk about solutions. I have practical tips to help you let go of perfectionism. Shift away from all or nothing thinking. Perfectionism might make you feel like if you can't do something perfectly, it's not worth doing it at all. What might be better is to pat yourself on the back for all the good things you do for your health. Maybe you don't have time for an hour long workout, but can you do 15 minutes? That's still progress, and it all adds up. Focus on what you can do, rather than what you didn't do. Practice self compassion. Be kind to yourself, especially on tough days. Instead of criticizing yourself for not being perfect, offer yourself the same empathy you would give a friend. Remind yourself that you're navigating a major life transition, and I expect also probably juggling a lot of balls at the same time, and it's okay to not have it all figured out. Set realistic, flexible goals. Perfectionism tends to come with rigid, often unrealistic goals, instead set smaller, achievable goals that fit your current lifestyle. For example, if you're aiming to eat healthier, try adding one or two more vegetables into your meals each day, rather than overhauling your entire diet at once. Thinking in extremes never works. Change generally works a lot better when you take one step at a time. Recognize your wins, whether they're big or small. Keep track of what you accomplish in a day, no matter how minor that may seem. Celebrate the fact that you took a walk, prepared a healthy meal, or simply took time to rest. Recognizing these wins helps shift your focus away from what you think you didn't do perfectly. This may be the most important one. Embrace rest as part of your routine. Perfectionism often makes us feel guilty for resting, but rest is essential, especially during menopause. Allow yourself time to recharge without feeling like you're wasting time. Resting is productive because it helps you restore energy, reduce stress, which in turn helps ease your symptoms. So here's the takeaway. Perfectionism is not your path to feeling better. In fact, it might be one of the reasons your menopause symptoms feel so overwhelming. By letting go of the pressure to do everything perfectly and embracing progress over perfection, you'll reduce stress and you might even notice that you start feeling better. So let's go back to where we started. What do you want for your health? What would not having menopause symptoms allow you to do in your life? I recommend you start with choosing one strategy today that you can work on. I find really the best way always to make changes towards better health is one small step at a time. And to help you do just that, you can grab my free guide. Five Natural Ways to Reduce Menopause Symptoms. In it, you'll find lots of specific things you can start with to create your best health during perimenopause and for many decades to come. And with that, I recommend you take one small thing and just pay attention to that. You can't tackle all of it at once, but each small change adds up to big improvements in your health. Let me say that again because I think it's so important. Each small change adds up to big improvements in your health. So to get that guide, go to the show notes below and click on the link for the free guide. My client Carolyn started with just one component of the second step and she started getting results immediately. On that note, as promised, I want to finish up by telling you a story about Carolyn. Carolyn came to me with lots of symptoms. She couldn't lose weight in spite of lots of effort. She was exhausted all the time. She had regular headaches and her digestion was a mess. She worked full time in a stressful job. She had lots of demands at home and she was in perimenopause. Caroline was counting every calorie, paying attention to her macros, and she was exercising twice a day. She had a hard workout in the morning, and then she would go for a walk after work. No wonder she was exhausted. She was working so hard to do everything right, to be the perfect mom and employee, to get back into the clothes that she felt good in, limiting her food and exercise a lot to try to do all that. But it wasn't working. She felt worse than ever. The first thing I had Carolyn do was cut back her exercise to one time a day and on some days to make it gentle exercise like yoga. Then I had her start eating more and creating an anti inflammatory, highly nourishing diet. We talked also about her work life balance and found ways to ask for help and not let the stress of the workday ruin her evening. She honestly couldn't believe it, but finally, when she stopped trying so hard to do it all perfectly, She started losing weight. She was sleeping better at night. She was enjoying her work and her family more and her digestion was back to normal. Remember, your health is not about achieving a perfect version of yourself. It's about being kind to your body and giving yourself the grace to navigate this new phase of life with flexibility and self love. Thank you for joining me today on Joyful Menopause. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to subscribe and stay tuned for more insights on thriving during menopause. Until next time, take care of yourself and remember progress, not perfection.