Sacred In-Between: Honoring the Space Between Where You Were and Where You're Going

Ever felt like you’re stuck in the middle—not who you used to be, but not quite where you want to be?

In this episode of Shift Happens with Shay, we’re honoring the often-overlooked space of transition: the sacred in-between. It’s the soft, unspoken season between clarity and becoming—where growth is happening, even if it’s not visible yet.

✨ In this episode:

• What it means to be in a “sacred in-between” season
• Why transformation often feels like being lost
• How to honor your current process without rushing it
• Gentle journal prompts and affirmations to support your journey

This is your reminder that you don’t need to “have it all figured out” to be moving forward.
 Your pause is sacred. Your softness is valid. Your shift is still happening

Continue the conversation with Shay on her Instagram, Facebook page, Youtube, website, and linkedIn! You can also email Shay at shay@shifthappenswithshay.com if you are looking for insight about your life, send your stories, or request topics you would like to address.

Please note this podcast is not a substitution for therapy, if you require assistance with exploring trauma, deeper relationship issues, or more please reach out to establish care.

Transcript

0:00

Hey there and welcome to Shift Happens with Shay. I'm Shay, your host and licensed marriage and family therapist. This podcast is where we dive into all the shift life throws our way, whether it's relationships, mental health, personal growth, or just figuring out this crazy journey of adulting here. We're all about honest conversation, real stories, and a whole lot of laughs as we tackle life's challenges together. This is your space to grow, explore, and feel seen. So grab a cozy spot, maybe a cup of coffee or wine, and let's get ready to shift through it all. Thanks for tuning in, and remember, no matter what life brings us, we're in this together.

PXL_20250901_191900036: 0:37

Hey, beautiful soul and welcome to Shift Happens with Shay If you've been feeling like you're in the in between, not who you used to be. Not fully where you wanna be yet. This one's for you. This is a place, this is a space we don't talk about enough. The sacred in between, the space, between chapters, between versions of yourself, between clarity and confusion, where everything feels very tender, unsteady, and uncertain, and also deeply sacred. So welcome to episode 15. Sacred in between. So we're gonna talk about what is the sacred space like, what is this in-between Shay what's going on? We're so used to seeking out transformation only in the after. But what about the before? What about the in between? We know we don't wanna go back all the way to the beginning because we know where we're starting from. We know pretty much, I don't wanna go back to where I came from, but. Too often we always talk about the before and afters, just like after Thoses pictures. Yeah. But what about the journey? The journey is one of the most important pieces of our journey to self and reclaiming ourselves, reclaiming our body, getting closer to our goddess hood. We gotta talk about those things. But what is this? This is the space where real healing takes place. You don't heal in the beginning and you don't heal at the end. You are healing in between the mud, the rain shine. I mean it happens on all kinds of ways it happens is what goes on in this between space. So this is where we're shedding our old identities. But we haven't fully stepped in and embody our true new self. The new narrative that we have started to reclaim and refrain from our old ways, it's where you might feel raw. This is a very raw time. It's emotional. We're feeling a little lost. We're lost in the sauce. We're walking through it, but it's also our most honest area for ourselves. We are not broken. We're just in the process, and I actually have an affirmation here I wanna read, and maybe if I'm tech savvy enough, I'll just put it on the screen here and pop it up. If not, just repeat after me. You are not broken. You're in process. You're not behind. You're in alignment with a softer timeline. Yes, you are not behind. You are in alignment with a softer timeline. So let's get soft, because the in-between is where we need to actually take a moment, acknowledge it, and as crazy as it sounds, be thankful that we had this in-between so that we could actually glorify our After the glow up. The glow up didn't come easy. And don't let nobody mistake that your journey was easy.'cause it definitely wasn't. That's why the in between is sacred. Yes. Okay, so why is it so uncomfortable here? It's vulnerable, it's raw. This is who we are. It's super uncomfortable being here and showing people this side of you that you haven't even reconnected with in a long time. Reconnecting with yourself is a shift. It is groundbreaking. It is also disorienting because. During this time, we are breaking down messages that were told to us for a long time. We have taken stories from other people how they wanna define who we are, and we've taken their projections and have hung on to this narrative that doesn't fit us, nor align with us. Hence, why this in between is again, disorienting. it's jarring. There it is. It's jarring and disturbing because now as we peel back these projections from all these other people, as we take back or take from those messages what we feel might fit, it's hard because you're breaking down this identity you've had for so long. This is now someone completely different. I don't know who this girl is, or maybe I once did, and it's really scary to look at her because I failed her. You didn't fail, boo. The world failed you. Your caregivers failed You, the ones who are supposed to lift you up These internalized messages, these stories that we adapt from other people about us makes it really hard to sift through all the mess and to really find who we are. And there's grief here. I have to mourn who I was. I have to mourn who I'm going to be. Because in order to be her, I had to give up who I am currently, and it's that kind of death ceremony going on. That's what's going on. It's a lot of grieving. A lot of grieving of what I thought the world was, what I thought I was, who I thought people were, who I thought my life was, my dreams, my visions, just every core aspect of what made me, me. I have to grieve all of that. I have to let it go, and it is the most scariest thing ever. And I say that as I have also gone through that work. You are not alone. My love. You're not. It is scary and just like I tell even my clients, I never lie and say that healing is easy. I never say that reclaiming who you are is a cake walk. It's a walk in the park. It's not it. There's so much mud, so much stuck, so much rough seas, rough winds, rain storms, so many things coming your way while you're trying to find who you are and come back to her. It's hard out here. Like I said, in this, in-between, it's just really hard and we don't have a clear label of the next steps for us. What happens now? What goes on? What are we supposed to do here? And that's when we start to panic because we really rely on labels. We love labels. Labels feel safe. Labels help us feel heard. And labels honestly is language. When we have language for what we're going through and what we're feeling, it feels safer. That's why you'll notice when you find that right word for whatever you're going through, it's a relief. It's a weight because it's really hard for us to describe what we're going through and that part hurts, and when we can't describe it, we feel isolated. When you're probably thinking about a moment right now while. I really am in the in between because I've been feeling isolated. I haven't been honest or really know how to tell my friends what this is and what's going on, and it's isolating because they don't know how to be there for me because I don't know how to be there For me, it's okay. I got you girl. We want clarity. We wanna explain ourselves to others and we wanna feel certain again. And in the in-between and the stuck in the mud and the storm, it is really hard to feel certain when it feels like your foundation is crumbling around you. Everything of who you are and what you stood for, or what you thought you stood for. It's no longer there. So it's uncomfortable. it's jarring, it's disturbing, it's disorienting. It's. Everything but safety. So we get it. But growth doesn't come from clarity at first. Growth comes from you finding that clarity, developing that clarity, creating your own new meanings and narratives of what life means to you. And that's when clarity happens. Insight is found that way. No one just gives it to you like, oh, this is who you are. When it was given that way, it wasn't who you were. That's why we're here stuck trying to find out who we are and all the self love and self care, self actualization. It's hard to acknowledge who you are, and sometimes it starts by surrendering. Surrendering the current you or past you, surrendering your current views of the world, if they are truly yours. And I say that because we may find it hard to surrender because it's oh, this is all I know. But that doesn't mean it's truly who you are. Maybe it's time for us to surrender the narratives other people have given us, the definitions other people have given us, and it's time to find our own meaning in life, and that's what makes it more insightful and purposeful and fulfilling, right? So you don't need to have a five step plan. You need permission to breathe in this space. Can you give yourself permission to breathe right now? I'll do it with you. So right now we're gonna place a hand on our chest, and then you can also put your second hand on your belly, and you're gonna close your eyes right now and you're gonna breathe in with a deep breath and breathe out. I'm giving myself permission to breathe. I'm giving myself permission to be in this space. Good job. Beautiful. Good job for giving you permission to be in this space, and we'll take this time as a reflection. Pause, and let's take a moment to gather and breathe in and out. Here we are with our reflection. Pause. We took our deep breath and you gave yourself permission to be here, and that was beautiful work. And I want you to now ask yourself, what season am I in right now? What is shifting in me now? Just notice without trying to fix. We are just simply trying to be curious with ourselves. At this moment, I want you to be curious. I want you to just be here with yourself. I want you to just. Just look at it. Think about the thought. Let the feelings in If you feel a visceral reaction. I don't know. You feel yourself getting clammy or stiffening your heart's racing, any type of symptoms. Just notate it. Let it pass. Let the thought just be. I don't want you to do anything with it, just to be with it. Just allow it to be here with you. It's okay. You're okay. You're here with me. Okay. Shifting is super uncomfortable, isn't it? So now we're gonna go to how to soften the unknown, which we started because you took your breath with me. You gave yourself permission to be here. You allowed yourself to be just in this space. I'm not asking you to be the perfect, you the wonder woman. You the take care of everyone. I'm not asking you to bring anything to the table. Just you, your own beautiful self right here. I used to call myself a beautiful disaster in my in-between'cause I am just so chaotic in this way of trying to find love for myself, acceptance for myself in this chaos, and still trying to see the beauty in the world. And it's really hard because in the in-between though it's sacred. It's like a gauntlet. You feel like you're being tested and things that used to be beautiful are starting to look really messy, and you start becoming a little bit more critical skeptical of the world and of others. But we wanna soften that. We don't wanna distrust the whole world. We don't wanna distrust others. That is not what we wanna do right now. We're trying to soften this unknown, and so instead of rushing through the in-between, we have to honor it. We have to as uncomfortable as it makes us feel. Sit in your discomfort. Think about why you're uncomfortable. I named a few because we're dismantling everything we thought we were. I wanna just rush and I wanna be healed and I wanna feel good and I wanna feel free. I don't wanna just wanna fly and dresses and be in the wind and twirl. And you could do that in the in between too. And then when you feel that sunken feeling, or memories coming back, sadness, all these other things, take a moment to acknowledge those because those are just as important as relief. Because in order for us to reach relief, we need to acknowledge those. There's no relief without acknowledgement. Here's a few ways, and I think I've actually named a couple of these, is you gotta name your season. You might be unraveling or redefining or reclaiming. Give it language. I'm a big fan of this. I love language. Y'all know that I am a narrative therapist. And narrative means storytelling. And why I love it, because you become the author of your life. You get to co-create. Well, if you're doing this with a therapist, but you get to re-author story, these messages you received, you get to give new meaning to them. So this is no different during your in-between phase. During this moment, the sacred time of the mud of the storm, give your season a name. Mine in my early twenties was beautiful disaster. It is what it is. I gave it to her and I didn't judge it. I embodied her and Child boo a young, a young 20-year-old Shay was very chaotic, very angry and resentful, and sad and lonely, and just wanting to belong, wanting so much belonging because her foundation just was ripped from under her. Hmm. I'm gonna acknowledge her. She's in the room with me now, so giving myself even space. So name it. Name your season. What is she this time, what is she called? You get to choose no one else, just you release the timeline. Because it is a societal construct anyways. Timelines don't timeline Everybody doesn't have the same one. Yours may look different from mine, and mine looks different from yours. Or maybe looking different than what your parents said, your friends or what everybody else is doing around you. They're different. You get to be on your own timeline and that's okay. You don't need to rush. You don't need to be like everybody else. This is your season. This is your time. So you are not late to your life. You're not late to your life. This is your life. You are the one creating the chapters storytelling. You are the main character in yours. You get to decide where this story goes. You're not late to your own story. You're not late to your own life. It's never too late to be you. Oh, that feels good. It's never too late to be you. Beautiful. Okay? And then you can also create some small rituals or practices, however you wanna call these, you. Remember, name it yourself. These are just what I'm calling it. And that could be journaling. That could be you getting your own tea in the morning or coffee and giving yourself 15 minutes for a slow time gathering of your mind. Morning stillness. That's the word. Or simply asking yourself, what do I need today? What do you need today? Beautiful. You tell me. Let the in between be a cocoon. Not a cage. You're not trapped. You may feel a bit stuck, but you do have the key. You always did. Others have just manipulated you and made you feel as if you didn't, and that the key was only within reach. If you did what they said or pretty much played to their tomb, you have the key. Beautiful. It was always with you because the key is you. So we're not in a cage, we're in a cocoon. We are all beautiful butterflies about to transform, but we all have to go through the cocoon stage to transform into the version of us we knew we always could be and was. So this isn't you stuck. This is you becoming Go ahead and become girl. Become you, become true. And then that goes into,'cause I love to give y'all some journal prompts. I got some down here. Y'all know I love it. You don't have to do all three. Take what you need, take what fits, take what resonates. Now, if you feel like you need to do all three in order to reach the insight you're trying to find, or the clarity or the language you need, by all means, please feel free. But do some of these, and I'll put some of these on our story on Instagram. Okay. So here are some of our prompts. What chapter am I slowly stepping out of? Hmm? What chapter am I slowly stepping out of? Or even what season am I stepping out of? What truth is rising in me during this in-between space? I'm curious actually to hear that from some of you guys. If you feel comfortable. I would love for you to share that down below in the comments if you are watching this on YouTube, of course. And if you are listening to this while you are driving, I'm gonna post this on Instagram, so when you're in a safe space, in a safe place too, please go ahead and comment that I would love to know. Or if you just wanna DM me directly. So that you wanna share your truth directly with me, that's fine too. I would love to hear it. I would love to hear those truths that are coming up inside of you guys during your in-between. And last but not least, how can I make this season feel softer instead of rushing through it? Where am my life? Can I get some softness? Where am my life needs to be softened? Maybe that's your morning routine. Maybe it's how you start your day. Maybe it's how you end your day, or maybe it's during your day. You need to give yourself a little TLC because you deserve that. You deserve it. So go ahead and pick one of those prompts. I'll probably also put those in the description box too, or you can rewind us. But I'm really curious to know if you're okay with sharing. And if not, just keep those truth to yourself and I hope you find the clarity that you're seeking. Okay. I'm gonna also give you guys some affirmations. Repeat after me, or just let the words wash over you. Okay. I honor the pause between chapters. I am not lost. I am unfolding. Even here I am enough, which you truly are beautiful. You are always enough. You are always worthy of being in a space, being in your current place, being loved, being cherished. You are so deserving of an abundant life. Don't let the stories others have told about you tell you otherwise. You deserve the world you truly do. Okay? So if you're in the in-between and wanna know, this space is sacred. Even in our roughest patches, we can always look back and be grateful for the lessons that we're learning, the insights we gained about ourselves, because we don't know what we're truly capable of. Until obstacles occur, until we are going through something, then we know what we're capable of. That's when you shine. You shine in the in between. You overcome. You find harmony within your darkness. Yes, K-Pop hunters. This is what it sounds like. It sounds like you're finding your harmony. You are finding who you are. You don't need to perform. You don't need to prove yourself to anybody.'cause who are they? The only person you need to prove your worth to is you the only person who needs to see you. Progress is. You, only you. Okay? Your softness is welcomed here. Your uncertainty is welcome here too. You are welcomed here. Stay in this space. You are worthy of this space. You are worthy of this time. And as always, shift happens. Yeah. You heard that right? Shift happens. But you don't have to go through it alone. We'll go through the fire together. So I hope you got what you needed. In our time together as we talked about the in-between, and like I mentioned, I would love to hear a prompt two from you guys about what truth is rising in you during this in-between. If you're comfortable sharing, you can message me on Instagram at Shift happens with Shay or you can email me at Shay. You can email me. Shay at Shift happens with shay.com. Ooh, she what? Your own domain, girl? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I did that. I did that. I told you guys the last time I was going to get this done, I got that website done.'cause trust me, that was my in-between phase. And just to even give a little bit about that, I took over maybe about six months to get my website done. I hadn't touched it and wrote a blog or anything. Prob, I think it said 2023, actually 2024, like January and then 2024 and a little bit, maybe like half of the early of 2025 was my cocoon stage. I found out a lot about myself. I found out a lot about toxic masculinity, my own emotional wounds, and as you guys heard me earlier and probably saw it in me and my reaction, my need and longing to belong, those are like my big things. I want to belong and in order to belong, I need to accept me. I'm not here to fit in with anybody else. I'm here to belong with me and those who love me and who are meant to be in my life. I will gravitate towards them, or they will gravitate towards me because I love me. My website now reflects who I am currently after my in-between. It is a magical place. His message is about embodying and soaring like the beautiful free spirited butterflies that we are, like the goddesses, we are free and just relaxed'cause we deserve that so much. So if you have the time, definitely check out my website, shift Happens with shay.com I would love to hear what you guys think about it. So my dears, I'll put up those journal prompts also on Instagram. As usual, love to hear your feedback. You can email me Shay at Shay Shift happens with Shay.com You can visit my website at Shift happens with Shay.com You can listen to my podcast also on there or anywhere that you listen to. And if you have a topic or something you would love to talk about more. Please reach out to me. Let me know. I love your feedback. And what did you guys think about this first YouTube video from me? I'm getting used to this. I was pushed by my tribe to just do it, even if it's not perfect. And this is so scary. I'm also in the in-between, This is so scary. Not doing this the way that I wanted or pictured, but I'm happy you guys get to at least see me and get a glimpse. And when I say see me, I mean like during our podcast. So, this has been really vulnerable and I love that I got to show up with you guys so. Just as I'm creating a space for you all to show up and to give yourself permission to be, I'm also giving myself permission to be here too. My love, check out my website, check me out on Instagram at Shift happens with shay.com. I also will continue and keep doing more of these videos and hopefully they get polished as time goes on. Yes, like such as me keeping my logo up or the lights, because I really do love when those lights are on. if you are a fan of mean girls like me, you're like really pretty and you are beautiful. I'll see you on Instagram or I'll see you here on YouTube. I'll see you wherever. Okay? Reach out. I'm here for you. This doesn't mean that you're my client. You know that you gotta go through the proper channels for that, okay? But I adore you guys. You are worthy of so much more. Please acknowledge yourself. Take the time for yourself. You are so deserving. I love you guys, okay? From your favorite licensed marriage and family therapist, your favorite couples therapist, your favorite therapist in general, and just your favorite self-love cheerleader.'cause I'm always gonna cheer you guys on signing out. Okay? I love you guys. leave some comments. I wanna hear your thoughts and just have a beautiful day. You deserve it.