Substances, Choices, & Limits

Teen life comes with pressure: friends, stress, curiosity, and a constant pull to try what everyone else is trying. We dig into the real reasons teens reach for substances and separate short-term “feel chill” effects from the long-term costs to sleep, mood, memory, and reaction time. Along the way, we share simple, proven skills that make it easier to handle pressure, set boundaries, and still keep the night fun.

You’ll hear how alcohol and weed actually impact the developing brain, why your sleep suffers even if you crash faster, and what that means for school, driving, and sports. We talk through the moment a casual habit becomes a coping strategy, the quick questions that reveal your true “why,” and the exact scripts that let you say no without killing the vibe. From box breathing and music resets to walking and trusted conversations, these tools are small, repeatable, and effective when you need them most.

Worried about your use or a friend’s? We map out confidential support options, from peer groups to therapists and local youth services, and explain how privacy works so you can speak freely. We also connect the dots between substances, sports performance, injury recovery, mental health, and relationships—because choices don’t happen in a vacuum. If you want control, clarity, and real strategies that protect your goals, this conversation has your back.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review to help more families find practical, judgment‑free guidance.

Explore the various services available in our community to support parents and students facing social and emotional challenges at https://chs.clarkston.k12.mi.us/counseling/emotional-support

For Talk It Out episode questions contact David from Giesken Counseling Services - Clarkston at 810-626-5191.

For Parenting Under Stress episode questions contact Trish from Ellie Mental Health - Clarkston at tbrown@elliementalhealth.com or 248-308-5535.

For more information on Clarkston Area Youth Assistance visit https://caya-mi.org/ or call 248-623-4313.

Chapters

• 0:00 Why Teens Try Substances
• 2:21 Coping Skills That Actually Help
• 5:07 How Alcohol And Weed Affect You
• 7:48 When Use Becomes Coping
• 9:31 Setting Limits Without Killing Vibes
• 11:14 Getting Help For You Or A Friend
• 12:48 Sports, Mental Health, Relationships
• 15:49 Who To Talk To Safely
• 16:38 Key Takeaways And Local Resources

Transcript

Max: 0:00

Hi, and welcome to another episode of CAYA Conversations. Today's topic is going to be substance use, choices, and healthy limits. My name is Max, and with me here today is Delaney.

Delaney: 0:11

Hello.

Max: 0:12

So for our first question today, the first topic of discussion, we're going to be talking about why do teens try substances and what are safer ways to handle that pressure.

Delaney: 0:22

The reasons why teens experiment with different substances really depends on the person. At the same time, many reasons why teens try substances are similar because of the similar experiences that teens face at this point in life. Studies show that the most common reasons why teens experiment with substances are because they have positive attitudes. You know, some teens think this is not a big deal. Or not realizing the risks associated with each substance. They might not realize the implications that has on their health or their mood, which we can get into later. Their brains are still developing, so we're still learning what is safe, what is a good decision. Those decision-making and problem-solving skills are still enhancing. And even being exposed to substances early on, dealing with mental health issues, like stress or overwhelming feelings. And then even peer pressure or peer use. If your friends are using, you're more likely to use because it seemed as pro-social. You want to be in on the fun. And so those are some common ways or reasons that teens try substances. Um even seeking the sensations of substances or curiosity around them or gaining new experiences or lack of responsibility, even because you're still growing, is another few reasons why. Really figuring out how to deal with all of that can be tough. There are so many reasons why you might be inclined to use a substance, but coming up with ideas to cope or practicing new skills, surrounding yourself with people that are aligned with you or support your goals and your values, that makes the process much easier to handle pressure and all the reasons why you might be more likely to try a substance. Common coping skills to manage pressure around substances are deep breathing, meditation, listening to music, going on a walk, and talking to people that you trust. And I'll break down each one so they seem more simple. Deep breathing sounds easy, and it really should be. The easiest way to think about it is a square. If you imagine a square and label each side with inhale and then holding your breath, exhaling and then holding that state again is the easiest way to start practicing deep breathing. You could even find YouTube videos where it's guided, and they'll count for you by counts of four. So doing each step by four people times or four seconds is the easiest. A lot of times people will do that once and say, that's not working, it's not helping me. And doing something once, of course, is not helpful. In the same way that brushing your teeth once a year and then going to the dentist, they're gonna they're gonna tell you there are problems. Um and so building it into your routine, whether it's when you first wake up in the morning, when you're winding down to go to bed, if you're feeling overwhelmed at lunch and stepping away from lunch and just practicing the box, even if you just visualize it in your head or have a piece of paper with you, that's the easiest way to start practicing deep breathing. Another coping skill is listening to music. That seems like something that should be pretty easy to implement, especially if listening to music is already a part of your routine. A lot of times we listen to music on the way to school or on the way to our jobs. So finding the music that makes you feel positive or lets you kind of release your emotions, even if that's really loud, stressful music, to let out the stress in a way. It's an easy way to manage the pressure related to substances or other stress that you might be finding. Um going on a walk is another easy coping skill. It really requires a little preparation. You just have to put on your shoes and put one foot in front of the other and walk outside the door. Next thing you know, you're walking away. Um even though going on a walk requires a little preparation, the benefits of walking are grand. Not only does walking improve your physical health, but walking can also cause increased mood, it improves your focus, you have a sharper memory after you walk, you're able to sleep better, you have increased creativity, and you also have a sense of belonging and awareness of your environment. Um, and lastly, talking to people you trust, talking to someone you trust about substance use or how you're feeling is beneficial in numerous ways. And we'll explain this or explore this um in more detail later on.

Max: 5:07

Well, I know you talked a little bit about how these drugs actually do, or these substances rather, actually do affect your brain and your mood. I'm curious if you could go over how alcohol, bathing, and weed actually affect your mood and brain.

Delaney: 5:22

Substance use, um, similarly to the reasons why we try substances affects us in a variety of ways, but ultimately are similar because we're all human. For starters, substances have effects on our mood. Some people think that using substances like alcohol or weed can boost mood because they're known for their relaxing and desirable effects. You feel chill, you feel cool and calm, especially when you're with your friends. I think an easy example of this is that 70s show where they're all just like relax on the couch, all spacey. We're all having cool thoughts. Um many substances do provide short-term increases in positive emotions, like happiness, calmness, relaxation, even confidence. But when the effects wear off and the good feelings start to fade, the not so great feelings tend to show up. Typically, substance use can lead to increased anxiety, fatigue, sadness, and irritability. And it's not just your mood, as you mentioned. Substances also have consequences and lasting effects in other areas of our bodies and our life. Some noticeable effects on the brain are altered brain development. Our brain has um difficulty processing the substances and how that affects the way it's growing. Worsened memory, you're less likely to remember what you learned in class if you're spaced out. You're like it's kind of like the Charlie Brown teacher voice. Um slowed reaction time to things are in our environment, especially if it makes you feel calm or slowed down, poor attention span, even a decline in IQ, and worsened brain functioning in general. Substances mess with the amount of quality of sleep we get, also. For example, alcohol disrupts the state of sleep that you're um in to process memories, manage your mood, and sort through everything that you learned that day. So back to that Charlie Brown teacher voice, you're even less likely to remember it even after it happens. The same can be said for weed. So even though substances might seem like they help you feel better or fall asleep quicker, they can actually harm your brain, ruin your sleep quality, and affect other areas important areas of life.

Max: 7:48

What are some signs that substance use is becoming a coping strategy instead of just fun?

Delaney: 7:54

Well, there are many reasons why teens try substances. One that's not commonly thought of is this substances can act as a coping mechanism to combat and manage tough thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Basically, what it boils down to is when a person is going through something hard, they're more likely to turn to substances. This is especially true when that person has no other coping skills to soothe their negative thoughts or feelings. So, in simple terms, using substances becomes a way to escape life's problems. This is one sign that substance use has become more of a coping mechanism rather than a fun, leisurely activity to do with your friends or to just have fun on your own, even. If you're using substances and aren't sure if that applies to you, an easy way to find out is just to ask yourself why you're using the substance in the first place. A few questions to ask yourself are: Am I doing the staff fun? Is it to fit in? Is it to get away from something bothering me or impacting me negatively? If the answer to that last question is yes, it may be important to ask yourself if you have ways to manage the negative emotions effectively without substances. Have you tried coping strategies that I mentioned earlier? Deep breathing, meditation, listening to music, going on a walk, or talking to someone that you trust. Knowing these things and why you use substances can help you figure out whether substance use has become more of a coping strategy instead of something you do for fun.

Max: 9:31

How do I say no or set limits without killing the vibe of friends?

Delaney: 9:37

Saying no to drugs and alcohol without killing the vibe is all about having confidence, especially when setting boundaries that allow you to have fun in your own way. There are a bunch of ways to say no, like being firm, giving an excuse, explain why you're not into it, or changing the situation. To be assertive, be sure to say no straight up and clearly. No is a full sentence. And if someone is still pressuring you or igging you on, just keep saying no. You don't have to change your answer. Chances are your friends will get the hint and back off. If you feel comfortable or want to provide more information, you can give an explanation as to why you're sitting out from using substances. Most of the times, if your friends are cool, they'll get it and they'll accept it. Like maybe you have to be up early for school, or you have to be on your A game for work or sports practice. If neither of those strategies work or feel right for you, switching out what you're doing might be the most effective option. For example, you can offer an alternative activity that doesn't involve substances so that you're still hanging out with your friends and keeping things fun. You can also offer to be the designated driver. It gives you an immediate out, you have responsibility, and it keeps you in check. And if nothing else works, it's totally fine to walk away if the situation feels sketchy or uncomfortable. Like I said earlier, saying no, it's all about having confidence and staying true to yourself so that you can have fun on your own time.

Max: 11:09

What do I do if I'm worried about my use or someone else's use?

Delaney: 11:14

If you're worried about your own substance use or someone else's, you can take action by becoming involved in prevention or intervention programs, seeking support through a mental health professional, checking out support groups, even peer-led ones, and opening up to someone you trust. A trusted person can be a teacher, a school counselor, a parent, or another family member, even. If talking to someone you know seems too scary or awkward, there are also resources that are anonymous to keep your identity private to help you navigate substance use. Support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous and Marijuana Anonymous are, as you'd guessed from their titles, anonymous support groups that can help and support you if you're worried about your use or someone else's. If support groups feel intimidating or just aren't your thing, seeking therapeutic support from a mental health professional may be a better option to discuss your worries and explore what substance means substances mean to you. As you may know, mental health professionals are required to maintain confidentiality. That means a mental health professional can't share what you say with other people, including your friends or your family. So it stays a secret, essentially. It really only boils down to breaking confidentiality, can uh confidentiality in rare safety situations, and talking about substances isn't one of those. Exploring these options even through a simple Google search can help you find what works best for you if you're worried about your use or someone else's use of substances.

Max: 12:48

How do substances impact sports performance, mental health, and relationships?

Delaney: 12:55

Like I mentioned before, substances mess with a lot of things in our lives and like our brains or our mood. Substance use also affects how you play sports, your mental health, and relationships. Versus sports performance. Substance use while participating on sports teams can have negative effects on how well you perform in them. As we know, substance use can cause delayed or slowed reaction times to things in our environment. So things like catching the ball, swinging the bat, or nailing that move in just the right time get harder when substance use enters the equation. It can also impact your decision-making and problem-solving skills, or even your concentration. In other words, thinking on your feet during certain plays or moves might feel more difficult. Say you've made it through all the plays, the game went great. But sometimes you don't go unscathed or without an early injury. Substance use even impacts the ability to recover in our bodies. They dull your pain signals and mess up your sleep, both of which slow down the body's natural healing process. Simply put, substance use can negatively affect optimized sports performance. So making it to the big league or going pro might be even harder or further out of reach when substances enter the picture. The next part is mental health. As I said earlier, substances might make you feel good for a short amount of time, but ultimately once they wear off, the negative feelings hit hard. People who use more are more likely to experience anxiety, fatigue, sadness, and irritability. Substance use can also interfere with communication within the brain, which is responsible for the release of dopamine and serotonin. And we know those are important in mood, motivation, and sleep. When these things shift and the effects of substances hit in set in, real mental health takes a hit. And lastly is relationships. Substance use can hurt your relationships by causing trust issues, miscommunication, irritability, and then mood swings are more arguments. For starters, lying and secretive behavior that is not uncommon with substance use, it breaks trust really fast. And when trust and communication disappear, misunderstandings and arguments show up more often. You're more likely to get in arguments about the substances, why we're using, or even if both people are using a substance, the balance, making sure things are met. And this gets even worse when you factor in how substances affect your mood and your mental health on a basic level or on an individual level. Basically, when you're feeling more irritable, tired, or anxious, your relationships usually take the hit too.

Max: 15:49

Okay. Who can I talk to without feeling judged or getting people in trouble?

Delaney: 15:55

As I mentioned before, talking to a trusted adult or seeking help from a mental health professional can allow you to talk to someone about substance use without feeling judged or getting people in trouble. Ultimately, the right people will be on your side. They want you to be honest and to tell the truth and be forthcoming. And they'll support you and they'll get you the help that you need. Um, and if you feel judged or you feel like people are getting in trouble just relying on those anonymous resources, especially support groups, because there are people who are going through the same thing and probably thinking the same things that you are. So it's supposed to be non-judgmental and you won't be getting anyone trouble. You'll be showing up for yourself. Okay, now that's a conclusion. Okay. Substance use affects us way more than just our mood or in the moment. It impacts sports performance, mental health, and even relationships with people that you care about. While substances might seem like a quick escape or a way to fit in, they can end up slowing you down, messing with your emotions, and creating conflict with others. The good news is that you're not stuck. Learning healthier coping skills, setting boundaries, and reaching out for support, whether from someone you trust, a therapist, or an anonymous resource, can make a huge difference. Understanding why you use substances and how they affect different areas of your life helps you stay in control, stay true to yourself, and make choices that support your goals and well-being.

Max: 17:30

Well, that does conclude our conversation today on substance use, choice, and healthy limits. We are from Giesken Counseling Services, G I E S K E N. You can find us online at www.giesken counseling.com, or you can call our main office number at 810-626-5191. Once again, my name is Max, and with me today is Delaney.

Delaney: 17:55

Thank you.

Jamie: 17:58

Hey your tuned in to CAYA Conversations, the podcast all about teens, families, and real life stuff happening in our community. We're brought to you by Clarkston Area Youth Assistance and yeah we do everything from cool programs and camp scholarships, to recognizing teens doing awesome things. Basically we've got your back. Hit up caya-mi.org or call 248-623-4313.