Using Rhythm, Presence, And Safe Failure To Turn Stress Into Resilience

Healing can feel abstract—until your hands start moving. We sit down with Kevin to unpack Toss Catch Heal, a movement-based approach that uses juggling, rhythm, and bilateral patterns to calm the nervous system, lower rumination, and rebuild confidence after grief and stress. This isn’t about flashy tricks; it’s about accessible, step-by-step exercises that teach presence, normalize safe failure, and help your body discharge stored tension.

Kevin shares how scarves create immediate flow without overwhelm, why the beanbag “Drop Zone” reframes mistakes as data, and how the classic cascade pattern becomes a moving meditation. Along the way, we explore the physiology of stress: fascia tightens, posture collapses, and inflammation rises when cortisol floods your system. Gentle, rhythmic motion starts to melt that “shell of stress,” improves gait and breath, and signals safety back to the brain. Expect practical insights on dopamine and small wins, strategies to interrupt mental loops, and a clear blueprint to build a practice you can keep on tough days.

We also touch on Focused on Motion, a sister track for creativity and peak performance once emotional homeostasis returns. Whether you’re processing loss, navigating anxiety, or just need a grounded daily ritual, these tools meet you where you are and scale with your capacity. Want to try it? Start with a scarf or tissue for five minutes, notice your breath slow, and let the rhythm do the work.

If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who could use a gentler path to regulation, and leave a review so more people can find these tools. Your story might be the spark someone else needs—what small practice will you begin today?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 1:36

All right, welcome everybody. Midweek check-in. My name is Russ. I am the host of Trauma Talks Live and Coffee Talks. And this is just a chance for us to jump on midweek and see how everybody's doing, see if anybody would like some support, has any questions. Normally it's just me rambling about something uh random. Uh, but today we've got we just finished recording uh Trauma Talks Live, and my good friend Kevin here with Toss Catch Heel uh was on there commenting. So I decided to jump bring him on and and kind of see what's going on in Kevin's world with Toss Catch Heel and how that's progressing, and maybe he can give you a rundown kind of what it is and uh and what you guys might be able to experience from it. So, Kevin, you want to introduce yourself, let us know who you are and um you know where you're coming from, all that good stuff.

Kevin’s Mission And Website Focus

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Well, thank you for uh inviting me to uh your little chat and uh I appreciate it. And um I've been uh very busy the past few months. Uh I've been working on my uh website to try and get it to be a little more user-friendly for the people that are um you know having difficulties in whatever area of life that they're uh dealing with. And I've been uh on social media, I've been spending a lot of time on uh threads and um kind of getting a real earful or eyeful, I guess, uh, with uh a lot of the people on there. There's a lot of people that are struggling uh in a lot of different areas. Yeah, um, but I've been working on my website uh to get it to be more friendly uh to people uh instead of more commercial, you know.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Sure. Yeah, I've always strived to kind of keep mine more uh personable or personal, I guess. Yeah, a little less uh salesy, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Right, exactly. And I'm just trying to get it to a point where it'll help the people feel uh feel seen when they come onto my website, yeah. And um and offer a lot of different little um elements to what I know what I can help with. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Um so for those of you don't know Kevin, Kevin's been a member of our men's trauma unlocking group, and I think you joined the mental well-being club group as well, right?

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

He was one of the guys I had on what a year and a half ago on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Uh it was actually during um was it a year ago? I thought it was just this past uh summer or something.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

Maybe it was. Yeah, it was a while back, but uh for those who don't know you or haven't seen uh the content from before, do you mind just sharing what Toscatch Heel is and and uh kind of some of the stuff you're you're working on with it?

What Toss Catch Heal Is

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Right. So Toscatch Heel is um my way. So first of all, I started it uh to heal myself, to kind of bring myself out of my own uh darkness, my own uh Darth Vader-like um uh world, and uh from uh some traumas that I experienced from losing my family and uh my parents and my sister and uh a few other little issues here and there, um, along with uh that one relationship that I talked about uh through uh YouTube. And um that that was kind of a um stinger as well. And just because it it threw me off guard because I was in that relationship, first of all, uh well uh just after like right in the midst of losing my parents. So it was um yeah, it's a lot for a nervous system to have to go through. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

For those of uh it looks like we just had somebody join us. So uh for those of you who are joining us uh live, uh my name is Russ. I am the host of Trauma Talks Live and Coffee Talks Live. And this is just a midweek check-in where we jump on if anybody has any needs, any questions, uh, any anything. Uh, or if you'd just like to jump on live with us and interact with us, that's fine too. Uh just drop your stuff into the comments on the video and they'll show up here in my chat. Uh, in fact, we'll just go ahead and share them on the screen too. That way me and uh uh me and Kevin can keep an eye on them. Oh here, there we go. So any any chats will just pop up there on the please keep any chats clean, guys. Uh this just does get simulcasted out to YouTube and uh Facebook as well. So we want to make sure that we're keeping the content for everyone clean. Um, uh go ahead, Kevin. Yep.

Play, Presence, And Dopamine

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Absolutely. So uh toss catch heal is like I said, my own little um way of healing myself. And then um what it is is a juggling type of uh movement exercise that uses movement, it uses uh a rhythmic movement, it uses uh a bilateral uh movement of uh which stimulates both sides of the brain, uh both hemispheres, and that actually stimulates uh the connection between both sides of the brain. And that uh increases the gray matter, the white matter, and all that good stuff. And I'm talking off the cuff here, so um, and I've uh I began to do my juggling just to see if it would actually do something for my uh nervous system, right? And uh I I knew about the research and all that uh uh beforehand, many years beforehand. Uh, but I never really I I put into practice, obviously, I've been juggling for 30 some years.

SPEAKER_00 8:18

Right. You were an acting, you were act working as a clown at the time, right?

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Yeah, yeah. Um, and then I went into massage therapy. Right. And I uh I was thinking, you know, in massage in massage school, I was like, I wonder how I could use this to even learn uh my muscles, my you know, uh different uh movements of uh the joints and everything. And um that became a little handy. I didn't use it all the time, but it it came in handy a few uh areas. And um and so uh as I was uh coming back uh to when I was uh experiencing the um the traumas of losing my parents and everything and uh other factors, uh I um I was like, okay, I'm gonna practice this just to see how it would work. And uh and if it does anything, I'll keep going with it. Yeah. And so I would um I started practicing my clubs. And I was uh I told you this before that I was doing some tricks that I normally didn't do. Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

And it it felt it started to feel good that I was accomplishing something and that I had a lot of sure you're getting you're getting some dopamine in your system from success, you're getting uh you know serotonin because you're playing, you know, you're having fun. Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

That's it. That that's the key right there, is it's play. Yeah, and uh, and so when you're playing, you're not gonna be experiencing trauma or or well, and you're also reducing the amount of time spent in your limbic system because you're gonna be more present.

SPEAKER_00 10:13

You can't you can't physically do well. I guess over time, as it becomes muscle memory, I guess you could physically do it without thinking, but in the beginning, you would definitely have to be present to be able to accomplish it, right?

Stress Stored In The Body

SPEAKER_01 10:24

Right, and you always have to be present to some degree anyway, so you're not gonna be spending that time uh you know in fight, flight, or freeze, right? And so um, you know, we're uh and so yeah, I felt the dopamine, and then the next thing, like I was telling you before, that I uh experienced uh less uh rumination, less uh mind looping of all the things that I was going I had gone through and why this and why that. And uh and so then I I kept practicing for about six months, and uh I started really coming out of my sh uh that dark shell. I I when I was a massage therapist, um I came up with a term called the shell of stress, uh where the uh the muscle tissue, the fascia and the muscle tissue would actually harden uh the more that you would um have less movement, less and more stress.

SPEAKER_00 11:43

Yeah, that makes sense if you're constantly bracing, you're constantly like flexing and bracing, you know. That makes perfect. Oh yeah, jaw, shoulders.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

Yep, yep. You're holding your shoulders like their earrings, you know, protecting your neck, yeah. Exactly. And uh so that's all gonna tighten up, and I would feel it, you know, right up in the dowager's hump area, and um and uh on people, on other people that I would work with, right? Right, and um, and so that shell stress just builds up in the tissues, and that's what's really happening when you're in that fight, flight, or freeze, it's holding up in the tissues, it's not even all up in the in the mind area.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Yeah, that well, that energy is definitely being held in the body because right as your brain starts signaling all those adrenal glands to start kicking out cortisol, adrenaline, all these stress hormones, it's just you have no choice but your body to be energized. You can't energy can't be destroyed, right? It can only be exactly extended, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:53

It and it changes form, and it it uh goes into a different state, and so um, you know, a uh the liquid type of soft muscle tissue turns hard, right? And uh crystallizes and it hardens up, and uh now you can't move as well, and now your uh your gait is all wrong as well.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Yeah, well, and also I mean with all those stress hormones running through your body, there's also a lot of inflammation, too, and that's can be detrimental. I mean, that can be you're cutting butt blood flow to different parts of your body at that point, and that's when your joints start to deteriorate, and right. So, I guess the just just the physical act of moving and getting some range of motion is you know that in itself is a win-win, you know.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

Yeah, absolutely.

How To Reach Kevin

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Yeah, well, thanks for jumping on with us, man, and letting us know what you're working on. If hey, if uh if anybody wanted to get in touch with you to to do some work in the juggling area, so go right.

Why Movement Reduces Inflammation

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Go to healthavenues.com and that should be able to take you to whatever I uh I uh built my new web uh my home new homepage, and that should take you where wherever you need to go. I'm I'm still working on the uh the online course of uh toss catch heel. So the first uh element will be uh scarves and flow state.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

Uh is the And that's that demonstration you had where you were tossing it and allowing it to yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah. So that would that would be the first stage that I would take people through is this uh what I call scarves and flow state through the toss catch heel uh system.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

And then uh and then the second system would be bean bags, where I call it drop zone. Uh and drop zone basically teaches you uh that dropping is a good thing. It's data, it's uh teach and it's teaching you that uh it's safe to make a make a mistake, it's safe to fail. Um failing is not such a bad thing, it it teaches us so much. Uh yeah, it doesn't feel good at first, obviously.

Scarf Work And Flow State

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Um it feels like failure, but until you start to realize that failure is just a step towards success.

Beanbags, Drop Zone, And Safe Failure

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Right, absolutely you can't you can't succeed without failing first, and then uh and so that would be the next step where I take people through the uh the beanbag uh juggling elements, and I break it down into very micro um uh steps so that it's so easy. It it might not be easy to learn like immediately. The scarves are uh are actually pretty easy to kind of learn pretty quickly, but the beanbags take a little bit longer. Uh but I make it to a point where it's um almost almost a no-brainer. It's really about um tossing the beanbags, uh using your body, and um and allowing the body to move, allow the body to relax, allow the body to um uh feel the rhythm. The rhythm uh is the motion, uh, and so then you have motion is medicine. And uh and so that's where I'm going with it. And then the third stage would be uh what I call cascade. Now cascade uh is a um a juggle the main juggling movement, uh so I named it after that because it's it's a complex uh system of moving the balls back and forth. And but it's uh it's actually relatively simple to learn. It's not easy to learn, but it's simple to learn.

Cascade Pattern And Skill Building

SPEAKER_00 17:00

Well, uh what I love about it, and I and I think I expressed this during the podcast when we were to together a few a while back, is it it it's movement, which movement helps expel energy. If you've got sympathetic energy in your body, the only thing you can do is get rid of it, or it just sits in festers. And that energy is those hormones, right? When those hormones get put in your body, you have to use them, or they just sit there. And if you're constantly flooded with cortisol, right? You have to move through it, right? It also teaches you, yeah. It teaches you safety and failure, right? It teaches you the that that failing is not necessarily mean a lack of safety. You could fail in a safe environment and learn from it and end up becoming a step towards success. So that's something I really love about it too. And then all and then the dopamine um hits, you know, the reward of accomplishing something and becoming good at something and becoming better through muscle memory and and all that. I love every bit of it, man. I think it's a really cool idea.

Motivation, Practice, And Outcomes

SPEAKER_01 18:02

And I can't wait to see where it goes. Uh I can't wait either. I'm I'm really uh trying to work uh my tail off with getting it uh put up uh because I know that it's gonna change a lot of lives once I can get it out there. Sure. Just gotta get people to see the benefit of it and uh know that they can actually do this. Uh if they if there's a difference between wanting to do it and not wanting to do it, you know. If you don't want to do it, you're not gonna do it and you're not gonna practice it, and you're not gonna, you know, but uh if you try it out and it feels good to you, why not keep going with it?

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, it sounds really cool. Cool. So healthavenues.com. Yeah, yep. Go check out Kevin Halley, guys, at healthavenues.com. Toscatch heel is the name of his program. Um, if you were on if you watched our last episode of Trauma Talks.

Sister Program: Focused On Motion

SPEAKER_01 19:05

I also have that. Sorry to interrupt you. Um I also have a uh sister program called Focused on Motion, which is going to help uh help with um like so the toskatch heels really about the the trauma type of uh the depression and stuff like that, the anxiety, the uh what I call emotion the so I can't I coined a new term sort of um uh emotional homeostasis. So that's where we're uh trying to get to is that uh emotional. So yeah. Um and so the the other thing is really about uh peak performance uh and um create.

Gentle, Stepwise Learning

Men’s Mental Well-Being Club Invite

Closing & How To Engage

SPEAKER_00 20:00

activity kind of just getting uh that meditation similar to like a Tai Chi type of thing or um just uh you know it's a movement uh meditation is really what it is and so there's two it's two ends of the uh spectrum so I love uh diligently so yeah yeah I mean it's a really it feels like a really simple very easily accessible way into healing without overwhelming the nervous system with all that stuff you know right we slow it down very much I mean we're not gonna rush you through the whole thing and you know we're just gonna take it step by step as you uh as you learn it and then get you to the next point no that's um really well thanks for coming on Kevin we're i really really I really appreciate you joining me for the midweek check in um if you guys uh uh want to still ask questions feel free to drop them in the comments kevin's pretty active um on some of the groups where these these are these are present so feel free to feel free to ask I'm sure he would love to answer any questions that you guys have about his program or about him um in the meantime if you guys are looking for a club something that you can have that would be a regular um what's the word I'm looking for consistent feeding of your soul of your healing journey um that club is the mental well-being club that it is being created by the mental well-being company um I have founded the Colorado Springs chapter of that club will be meeting on March 7th um just coming up here in a couple months and that will be focused mainly on men's mental health and men's healing that by no means means that if you are a woman you can't attend I would love for you to attend it would be great for you guys to understand men's trauma a little better might help you understand the men in your life a little better might have to help you understand some of the stuff that you've been through with toxic partners in the past as well. Men I would love to have you there because we have been taught over the last decades um that vulnerability equals weakness and I want to teach you guys and show you guys why vulnerability actually equals strength and the only way we're going to heal our community and heal ourselves is by being vulnerable accountable and really looking inward and seeing what's going on. Thanks so much for joining me guys uh if you have any questions drop them in the comments otherwise I'll see you guys on the next recording. Take care not I'm just gonna close the window. It's not allowing me to close it. Take care. All right you too