The Private Practice Success Podcast

24. Dealing with Rejection as a Practice Owner

• Gerda Muller • Episode 24

Share episode

In this episode of the Private Practice Success Podcast, Gerda explores one of the most challenging yet inevitable aspects of running a private practice - dealing with rejection. 

From recruitment struggles to unexpected resignations, Gerda unpacks the common scenarios where rejection occurs and the emotional and business consequences it can bring. She also shares practical strategies to process rejection, maintain boundaries, and keep moving forward with confidence and clarity.

In this Episode, you will learn (amongst others):

  • Common forms of rejection private practice owners face and their impact.
  • How to process rejection without letting it derail your business decisions.
  • The importance of setting and respecting boundaries for yourself and others.
  • Why rejection is not personal and how to reframe it as part of business growth.

Who This Episode Is For:

  • Private practice owners navigating the emotional challenges of rejection.
  • Allied health professionals looking to build resilience in business.
  • Practice owners seeking strategies to handle recruitment, resignations, and team dynamics.

Gerda’s empowering insights will help you reframe rejection as a natural part of building a thriving practice. Tune in to learn how to handle it with grace and keep your vision of success firmly in sight.

Connect with Private Practice Success & Gerda here:

 Well, hello there to all my passionate private practice owners. My name is Gerda Muller and you are listening to the Private Practice Success Podcast, and this is episode number 24. 

Today I want to talk to you about a topic that is really close to my heart, and that is the topic of Dealing with Rejection as a Private Practice Owner.

Now, if you are a human being on this earth, you have most certainly experienced rejection in your life. I don't think any of us have been able to get where we are today without experiencing some level of rejection. I'm sure you'll agree with me that it's not a pleasant emotion. It is an emotion that really, really hurts, and therefore we need to look at it. Because I can tell you now that if you do not know how to deal with rejection in business, this will become one of the biggest barriers to you creating the business success that you desire. 

I know this because I see it each and every day. I am in a very privileged position where I get to talk to practice owners every day of the week - maybe not Saturdays and Sundays, but during the week. I see this happening all the time, that they experience rejection, and as a result of that rejection, they make certain decisions that have consequences that are of huge detriment to their business. 

So let's dive into this really important topic. If you've been on the receiving end of rejection as a practice owner, then I want to invite you to join me in this really important conversation today.

Common Forms of Rejection in Private Practice

We are going to start this conversation by looking at some examples of what rejection could look like in the business of allied health private practice. I'm just going to share two or three of the most common ones that I come across on a week to week basis. 

Recruitment: From Excitement to Discouragement

The first example I'm going to use is of a practice owner that decides to expand their team. They excitedly write up the job ad, find out where to put it up, pay some money probably to put it on a job ad platform, maybe they're sharing it across their social media pages. And then…they wait.

And what happens very often is one of two things: Crickets - there are no applications, and with every passing day, they get more and more discouraged.

Or Wow! - an email comes through to say that you've got a job application and you excitedly log in and you look to see who this is? And it's an unsuitable application.

That excitement to letdown is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, and I'm sure you've experienced that. And then what happens is they start to go down this spiral of thinking of “Hmm, nobody wants to work for me.”  So we personalise it, right? “There must be something wrong with my job ad. Maybe somebody else's job ad sounds better. Maybe I'm not offering the perks and the benefits that other people are. Maybe I need to offer more money. Or maybe people just don't like my practice, or they don't like what we do.” 

This can be a rabbit hole of negative and self-critical thinking that happens as a result. And a lot of times what I see happen is that people then just stop advertising.  I can't tell you how many people I've spoken with over the last couple of weeks that tell me they've got a recruitment problem. And I ask, “Okay, when did you last put a job ad out there or go on a recruitment campaign?” They tell me “18 months, 12 months ago…because nobody's applying.”

It's like, okay,  that is a consequence. You have now just gone 12, 18 or however many months long not recruiting, which means as a business owner, you are leaving money on the table because you could have had a clinician earning revenue and income for your business. But also you have left an impact on the table - because without that additional clinician, you can't service additional clients. So as a helping professional, you have left your impact on the table by reacting to that rejection in this way. So that is one example. 

You Found the Perfect Hire - But They Said No

And another one is, let's say you actually did get bites to your job ad and maybe you interviewed and you found somebody and you want to bring them on board. You write up your job offer and send it to them, and it's like, this is going to be amazing! You can already see this person really fitting in with the culture of the team. You really like them as a person. You think you're going to work really well together. You've put in a lot of effort into writing up that job offer - putting a package together - and then you get a no to your job offer.

Nine times out of ten, it leaves the practice owner absolutely devastated. And if you're not a practice owner listening to this, you might be thinking, what the hell, why? But until you are in that position and in the shoes of a practice owner, it's really hard to understand it. I know logically we know it's not personal, but you are still a human being fulfilling that role. And when you have a business, it's like your baby, it is personal to the practice owner.

So this is a very common example. The consequence of no’s to job offers that I have seen when people tell me their stories is they go, “I must have done something wrong here.” And then what they start to do is try and fix their perception of why this person said no - a lot of times without even asking - I always encourage the practice owners that I consult, coach, and mentor to ask for feedback.

Not to pressure people for feedback, but just to ask, “Hey, I was really excited about you coming on board. I totally understand and respect that you've made a decision not to. But it would be really helpful to me to know if there is a specific reason why this job offer wasn't suitable? Or anything else that we could have done that could have got you over the line to join our business.” Just something like that. 

They don't have to answer you if they don't want to, they don't have to. I find a lot of clinicians out there are so courteous and give you lovely feedback. Nine out of ten times they will tell you it wasn't about the offer. They might have just decided to actually pursue something in public mental health or they've just decided to stay where they are now.

It can be a lot of other external reasons, but because we don't ask for that feedback, what people often do is they go, “It must be the job offer.” And then what they do is they go, “It's probably the money. So next time I'm going to  just add $10K or $20,000 on top of it.” And before you know it, this practice owner has hired clinicians and or contractors where the margins are so thin because they are literally overpaying their clinicians that their business is on a knife's edge. 

I can tell you now without a doubt that nine out of ten people that come to talk to me wanting business consulting and support for their business are on a knife edge. Which is why they should be talking to me, I want them to talk to me, that's my job is to help them fix that. But there are so many out there. And do you know how stressful that is knowing that your business is on a knife's edge?

But not knowing what the alternative is - thinking that this is the only way to run an allied health business - because if I don't pay these packages or offer these specific benefits, or whatever else it is that you've popped in there - that I wouldn't get anyone. And people don’t land in that position overnight. It happens over a couple of months - after various different experiences of rejection. Not really looking at the numbers, not really looking at the margins, not understanding those things, not talking to clinicians about things-  that they get to that place. 

And once you are there, you can most certainly get back to where you should be. But it's a hard journey back to getting to the margins that any old business should just have -  because you are a business. And I think - no, I know - very often, allied health business owners think  that they are special, that we are different. We are not. Yes, there are certain regulations that we have under APRA, especially when it comes to advertising, how we market -  to you know, if you were to offer competitions or discounts or specials and that type of stuff.

You need to know that stuff like the back of your hand, right? So yes, there are limitations. But day to day running your business, when it comes to those growth accelerators and those indicators of what it means to have a successful business, it's exactly the same as any other service business. It's exactly the same as any other talent driven business.

So we have what is referred to as a talent driven business. Your psychologist, your occupational therapist, your speech pathologist, your social workers, your dieticians, your insert whatever your allied health discipline is - they are talented people, right? And yes, we should be offering them great remuneration packages, which is why you need to know how to write what I like to refer to as an Irresistible Job Offer.

Do you think people that work with me at my practice or my business coaching clients, don't have teams. They've got humongous teams, but it's because we know how to write an Irresistible Job Offer. We don't have to cut off the blood supply of our businesses - which is money in order to recruit and retain talent. So you need to have a strategy around that. I've just noticed that I've gone on a bit of a tangent here, but it felt relevant to share that, because I want you to know that this is not an either or situation when it comes to rejection of your job offers. It's not a - I either give people everything they want, or I don't have anyone.

You can have both if you know how to do it. Alright, so let's leave that there. That is the nose to your job offer, which lands people in trouble so many times. It really hurts me when I just think about it. 

The Resignation Rollercoaster

The other very common example of rejection as a private practice owner is when somebody resigns. It happens. The shorter the person has been with your team, the worse the rejection is. I've spoken to people that have had clinicians leave after three, six, nine, 12 months. What is that period? I can tell you right now, the average is roundabout two years. If a clinician stays at your business for more than two years, you are doing really well. And again, I can go into a whole tangent, a whole different discussion as to where this number comes from and why this number is there. 

Now, if you are listening to this and you go, “No, my people stay for five years.” Amazing! That is absolutely amazing. But I would also ask you to consider - do they stay for that period, do you have your margins, or are you on the brink of burnout and collapsing of stress because you do not know whether you are going to be able to pay wages next week when wages are due.  If that is you, I'm not impressed with your team retention numbers, okay. That doesn't impress me, because anybody can do that. But why would you want to? Why do you want to put yourself at risk of burnout that's not going to serve those people?  I can tell you that's only going to last so long. And you know what happens to people that are on that knife's edge the whole time - business owners - it impacts their relationships, their marriage.

I've seen that happen time and time again as well. So I don't want that. The criteria for having a successful business is not only one marker of team retention - and if my team stays for more than two years, I've got this - no, that's one tiny marker. 

To have a successful business - a business that somebody else is going to want to buy off you one day -  that's not going to be the reason they buy your business. There is a range of markers that needs to hit certain levels in order for you to have a business that you can sell one day. Not for $50,000. Anybody can sell a business for that. I often hear people talk about things like, “I've sold my business.”  Tell me how much before I'm going to tell you whether I'm actually impressed by the fact that you sold your business. Unless I know what you've sold it for, I'm not going to be impressed with that because anybody can sell it for a shit price. 

Turnover Turmoil

Another consequence of having - not necessarily a lot of resignations, but even just one or two in quick succession, especially if people haven't stayed the two years plus - is that risk of reputational damage. And again, if you are not a practice owner, you might be thinking, well, that's not my problem, that's a practice owner's problem. Yes, it is their problem, and that's why I'm talking about this because it's real that reputational damage. It's even harder and so frustrating to deal with it -  when it's not due to your business, when it's not your fault as the business owner. 

When somebody leaves because their husband has now been transferred in their job, and now they need to move from Brisbane to Adelaide - that's not your fault, it's also not their fault, it just happened. Life events lead to early resignations all the time. But unless you are able to communicate to your referring community why that is happening, they don't know, and people generally tend to assume negative stuff. It is just like that sticky, big type of mindset of, “Hmm, I wonder what's going on there? This person only stayed for three months. That can't be good!” 

I also always encourage practice owners to talk to clinicians who resign unexpectedly or earlier than expected to just have a conversation with them and say, “Hey, are you happy for us to just let clients know that you are actually moving to Adelaide so they understand what it is that's happening?” And nine out of ten times the clinician goes “Yes.” 

It's always about finding that balance, right. Getting that permission from your clinician as to what it is that they're happy to share with the clients and or referrers. And then getting clarity as to what we will and won't share with the clients, because it's just basic respect telling a client why somebody is moving on. 

Now I'm sure you're thinking about - well, what if it's not a good reason -  like I had to fire someone. I maybe don't want to tell that. That's a different kettle of fish. That is where, as a professional business owner, we want to protect the reputation of that person as well. I will never share a negative reason for somebody leaving with a client. And that's one we also want to have that conversation with the clinician saying - you know, things didn't work out. Maybe you are terminating somebody after their probation period has come to an end because you've realised that this is not going to work out. 

Then we just talk about the messaging that we're going to give to the clients. And it might be as simple as “This person has decided to pursue other interests or other opportunities.” And that's okay.  But I do feel it's really important to tell clients and referrals what is happening, in order to assist in managing potential reputational damage. 

We are helping professionals, and we know that communication is like the cornerstone of being able to help, and we need to do more effective communication in the running of our business as well.

Those are three common examples of rejection that business owners experience. Now, I'm sure you can think of lots of other examples as well, but those are the really big ones, and what tends to happen if a practice owner has a lot of these types of events - is ultimately they just start to retract into their shells.

When Rejection Hits

It's like the turtle that goes,” I can't deal with this anymore.” They pull their  feet and their head into this shell and it's like, “I'm just going to stay here and pretend that I don't exist.” That there's nothing else out there. And whilst they're in their shell - they are totally isolated feeling safe, maybe more from a physical perspective. That mental self-talk starts to kick self-talk such as -  “I really suck at this thing called running a business. I'm just failing. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I have no business calling myself a business owner. Maybe I should just close up shop and go find a job at public mental health, get onto the freaking gravy train. Or maybe I should just go back to solo private practice because I obviously do not know what the hell I'm doing.” 

Sound familiar? And then what do we do? We keep playing small. If this did sound familiar, what is the answer then?  I'm going to share three things with you here. 

The Importance of Processing your Experiences

The first is that you need to accept that, yes, it does feel personal when there is rejection that occurs in your business - because it is. It is personal to you as the business owner. But it's also your job to process that and you need to process that shit at home - with your hubby, with your wife, with your significant other. Maybe with your own psychologist, a clinical supervisor, a trusted peer or mentor.

You are going to feel it. It's going to be there because you're a human. But it's your job to process it, and process it in your personal space that you've created for yourself - and not bring that into your interactions with your team. 

It’s Not Personal

Second thing is you need to accept that it is not personal because to the other party -  it isn't. The person not applying for your job, it's not personal for them. The person that doesn't apply for your job ad, they're not applying because of you or your business. They're not applying because of them, and their own things, and their preferences and requirements, and locations and all of that stuff. Same thing with the person that doesn't accept your job offer. Same thing with the person that resigns. They are doing what's in their best interest and maybe so should you when you're making these decisions - okay, so it's not personal. 

Boundaries Are Your Responsibility

Thirdly, you need to remember that each of us as individuals -  irrespective of what your role is in the business - each of us are responsible for setting our own boundaries.

If somebody says that I can't do this - that is them setting their boundaries. If somebody says  I can't accept this role - that is them setting their boundaries, and it's our job to respect that. Yes, we are going to ask for feedback in a respectful manner, but they get to set their boundaries. 

Similarly, you need to set your boundaries, and that is where a lot of practice owners fall down, they don't. They go, “Okay, I'll just pay more money even though I don't have it. Maybe I'll just work an extra day of clinical work in order to pay for that additional amount of money that I now need to pay this person to get them over the line.”

I can tell you a lot of times when you do stuff like that, it doesn't last anyway. It doesn't work out because people didn't join your business for the right reasons. So it's your job to set your boundaries. I know you probably know this logically, and I'm going to now speak particularly to the psychologist that's business owners. Because I'm a psychologist and I'm a business owner, we find it probably harder than any other allied health discipline. We are the people that help clinical clients every day learn how to set boundaries - but for some reason, when we need to do it ourselves, it's so hard. 

I find that psychologists particularly are extremely conflict avoidant -  and I'm not judging us as psychologists -  I love us. The majority of the people I work with are psychology business owners, but it's like our level of empathy for other people is so high that it actually comes back to bite us - in that we want to protect people - and because we want to protect them, we don't set boundaries and that thing comes back onto us.

So I come back to the point that I'm making here - that each of us are responsible for our own boundaries, and when you make a decision not to set a boundary - that's on you. You can't blame somebody else when they set a boundary for themselves. We want to respect that and I want you to take that as permission that it's okay for you to have boundaries. I'm not saying don't be flexible. 

This is the thing I see that business owners really struggle with that balance between consistency and flexibility. Knowing when to consistently set a certain boundary, and then knowing what flexibility in that situation could look like. It's because we don't know that we get stuck, that we make the wrong decisions. And it takes time to learn that skill. But it's vital if you want to build a long-term sustainable business.

The Double Standard in Business Rejection

Allow me to add an additional little bonus thought here for you, because I also see this all the time. And that is that 99.9% of practice owners totally accept rejection from clients. So if a client calls up and they don't book an initial appointment, that's perfectly fine. If a client calls up asking for Bulk Billing and you charge a private fee and the client decides to go elsewhere, we are perfectly fine with it. We are perfectly fine accepting and encouraging client choice and client control. But for some reason when it comes to accepting that for our team, it becomes really personal. For some reason when we want to give ourselves choice and control, we find that really hard to do. We almost have this different set of rules for clients, team and ourselves. 

For this fourth thought, I just want you to reflect on that and ask yourself what is that all about? Yes, you've got a different relationship with your clients than you have with your team. But at the end of the day, it's still a choice, it's still controlling its boundaries.  I just think that the business owner, the team, the clients - everybody should have choice and control. It is by having that, that you get to design the life that you want, get to design the business that you want,  and ultimately - when you give yourself the same level of choice and control that you give to your team and your clients - guess what will need to happen, now you will need to take ownership of your decisions. 

Maybe that's the scary part, having to take that ownership. But I want to encourage you to step into it. I want to encourage you to also accept rejection is just a part of running a business. And when you are running a service business in comparison to a product based business, you can have so much more rejection -  because you are working with people, right?

If you just think about your own family of procreation. How many fights happen in your family of procreation - the people that you love the most, you even fight with them. So people that aren't bound to you by blood or love or family ties, they're allowed to say no to you. Any person is allowed to say no. But so are you. 

You also need to have clarity as to what your boundaries are. And again, that's where a lot of practice owners fall down. Quite a couple of episodes ago, I spoke about the 10 Rules of Business, and I want to encourage you, if you've not listened to that episode, to go and search for it on the podcast because that, for example, is really important to help you set boundaries in terms of knowing what is my 10 Rules of Running my Business -  and you can change those rules over time, but you need to know what it is. 

Because if in every situation you need to think about it again and make a decision, a lot of times we're just too tired and we make the wrong decision, or we make an emotionally driven decision.  I'm not saying emotions are bad. I think the best decisions are made with both your head and your heart and your gut. But when we are feeling hurt emotionally, we tend to make the wrong decisions, and that's where your rules of business come in really handy. 

Final Reflection

We are going to leave it at that for today. But before I go, I want to say this -  If you feel like you are currently in that turtle position and you are hiding and you are playing it small - I want to really encourage you to go, you know what - this has been long enough. It is time. It is time to stick my head out again because the one thing I can assure you is that if you trust that you are making the right decisions, if you trust that you've got boundaries that aligns to your values and to how you want to run your business - that even if rejection happens, and I should probably say when rejection happens, because it will - you will be okay.

Take it from me, rejection gets easier over time. You come to learn that, you know it is okay.  It doesn't stop hurting, but it doesn't have to have the impact it had in the early days. Now when something happens that is rejection, even in my business - in my group private practice and in my business called Private Practice Success Australia -  it's not to that level where I can't focus on anything else for the next 24 hours.  I'm now able to note it, observe it and deal with it within a very short space of time because I'm now practiced at it. But unless you become practiced, you won't be able to manage it. 

So slowly but surely allow yourself to experience rejection. Come back to this episode if it happens, and before you know it, you won't be immune to it, but it won't become a barrier to your private practice success - to your ability to help more people in better and more effective ways. 

Remember that vision. Why are you doing what you're doing? What are you here to do as a helping profession? I'm going to bet it's about changing lives. I'm going to bet it's about making a difference in the lives of highly vulnerable people. And that might mean that you need to risk rejection in your business -  but I can tell you it is worth it. 

Thank you so very much for listening. As always, remember that I am here to help you build a practice you can't stop smiling about 🙂


People on this episode

Head Shot

Gerda Muller

Host