Episode #059 How to Show Your Yoni Some Love with Guest Tuesday Simmonds

Is the gift-giving challenge giving you a festive headache?

Well, put the kettle on, grab a mince pie and gift yourself some time out. Because this episode delves into a gift you can give yourself. 

We talk a lot about self-care here on Midlife Unlimited – nurturing our mental health, physical health and even spiritual health.

But when was the last time you actually took time to care for your yoni?

And would you even know where to begin?

I didn’t, so I called in the expert. And I’m delighted to be joined for Episode 59 by Yoni Steam Practitioner and Teacher Tuesday Simmonds to talk about How to Show Your Yoni Some Love.

Connect with Tuesday

https://www.instagram.com/wombon_wise/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063250209066

https://yonisteam.co.uk/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for women who want more. I'm your host, Kate Porter, the Midlife Metamorphosis coach, and I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling it like it really is. Nothing is off limits, because together there's no limit to what we can achieve. So, welcome to today's episode. Now, with the Christmas countdown in full swing, is the gift giving challenge giving you a headache? Well, put the kettle on and gift yourself some time out, because this episode is delving into a gift you can give yourself. We talk a lot about self-care here on Midlife Unlimited, taking care of both our mental health and our physical health. So when was the last time you actually took time to take care of your yoni? And would you know where to begin? Well, I didn't. So I'm calling in the expert, and I'm delighted to be joined by my guest today, Tuesday Simmons, Yoni Steam practitioner and teacher, to talk about how to show your Yoni some love. So welcome, Tuesday. It's fabulous to have you here.

SPEAKER_01: 1:44

Thank you so much, Kate. It's an absolute pleasure to be here with you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48

Well, we're gonna have some fun today. Well, first off, Merry Christmas. And we're talking about gifting, and this really is your expertise, you're gonna be sharing, is a gift. So my first question is the word yoni, am I saying it right?

SPEAKER_01: 2:06

Okay, so yoni, or actually yoni, um, is a Sanskrit word, um, and it means it encompasses the whole of the female reproductive system. So it's a real honouring word, it means source, um, all the yummy things that our reproductive system is, not just vagina, which is just such a small, a small part of it. And actually, that comes from um what the Roman soldiers used to keep their swords in, so vagina is sheath. So I much preferred yoni.

SPEAKER_00: 2:42

Well, I I had heard that before, and it it does make me laugh the whole idea of a sheath, which is such a male look, yes, yes, because that's the only thing it's for is for housing a sword. What about pushing at a baby from the other? I think it has more uses than that.

SPEAKER_01: 3:00

That's the important bit.

SPEAKER_00: 3:02

No, well, absolutely. And I want to point out from the outset, listeners, obviously, a lot of you listening may well have had hysterectomies or or other gynecological issues. So we're not we're not limiting this to women who have got their entire reproductive system still intact because what you do is relevant post-menopause, post-hysterectomy, isn't it? We're not just talking about childbearing years, we're talking about right up until the very end looking after ourselves.

SPEAKER_01: 3:39

Totally. Um, yoni steaming is great for girls when they first start their periods. It's amazing for pain relief. Um, a lot of young girls will have to spend a couple of days in bed um with a hot water bottle. So it goes right from them all the way through our reproductive years and to postmenopause, definitely. It's something that I'm really passionate about letting women know about, and and it's something that's so easy to do for yourself at home, also.

SPEAKER_00: 4:11

Well, that that's why I really, really wanted to do this episode with you. A, when we we kind of connected, we've not yet to meet in real life, but I loved your energy. I love everything about you. But also, what I do love is having those conversations. That's what Midlife Unlimited is all about. Those things that we don't really talk about enough. And private parts. We we women, particularly, I think, in midlife, it might be the way we've been brought up, we don't really like to acknowledge them and talk about euphemisms, let alone talk about the problems that we might have with them. Now, obviously, later on, I'm delighted you're gonna be sharing your top tips for actually, I like you said, you know, yoni steaming at home, the benefits. But A, we're gonna start talking. We're gonna we're gonna be graphic here, ladies. Not not for the sake of it, not to shock, but because we need to talk about what we've got down there. But also, obviously, we're coming out just before Christmas. It's it's quite a timely episode, isn't it? Because we we can be more prone to infections and things, can't we, at this time?

SPEAKER_01: 5:17

Absolutely. I think it's the time when we overindulge in sugar and maybe a little bit too much alcohol um and probably are not drinking enough water because it's such a busy time. So much more prone to either bladder infections or yeast infections, um, both of which can be addressed with yoni steaming and using the right herbs if you don't want to go straight for the antibiotic.

SPEAKER_00: 5:43

No, I love that because I think a lot of us now are looking, you know, we we pump so much into our bodies, whether that's HRT, you know, as you say, all sorts of different medications that can be prescribed to us. So I love the idea that it is a lot of natural herbs that we will be going into later on, because you've got, I think it's five different main types that you use or blends, that's the word brands. I was going to say, yeah. But another thing that as well, I mean, I I did a previous episode talking about um with Sarah, you know, now is our time to be not a crone, because I'm not ready to be a crone, but a sage, maybe. But I love your word, the enchantress, and I think that helps bring to life the fact that we are still vibrant, we've got so much to offer, and and that that applies to our lady garden areas as well, to our yoni, the whole area. We're not we're not ready to gather cobwebs and be dusty, are we? We should really be, and I I used the word should, then I know I did. Um, but giving ourselves some care down there, shouldn't we?

SPEAKER_01: 6:54

It is so important, and I have a lot of women that say to me, Oh, I don't have periods anymore, I don't need to do that, or I've had hysterectomy, I don't need to do that. But it's actually, you know, we're talking about yoni encompassing the whole reproductive area. So we're also talking about the vulva, um, and it's a horrible word, vaginal atrophy. So as we get older, that is um the skin is becoming more thin, um, we're becoming more dry. Because of that, we can develop infections. Um, I think one of the main reasons I saw uh I saw recently, one of the main reasons that um older women are admitted to hospital is because they've had they have a water infection, which then sort of goes back to their kidneys, it can affect their the way we think, um, the way we behave. So it's just really important that we we keep our yonis healthy because it's keeping the whole bodies healthy, it's keeping us healthy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 7:58

Oh, absolutely. Because you were saying about the whole idea of wiping when we go to the loo as well, because the natural antibacterial liquids, I don't know what the right word would be, aren't because of being drier in our vaginal area. Um, but also, yeah, absolutely. I heard this great quote the other day. It was actually a blat saying it, but I resonate so much. Is the only time I'm not thinking about what peeing is when I'm peeing. And I'm like, that's how I am at the moment. My whole life seems to be increasingly built around where the nearest toilet is, do I need to go? If I don't go, I'm then start thinking and constantly about I should have gone, I should have, I should have had a the queen of not using the word should, I'm using the word should. But I'm I'm getting quite sidetracked, which I do tend to do when I'm really excited about talking about something that I don't know that much about and I'm really keen to learn about. And I think we're gonna do you'll be sharing your top tips later on. But first, I would like to delve a bit more into your story, into your midlife metamorphosis. Because listeners, there are some real treats coming up. You won't believe, well, you she might do if you know what Tuesday has been up to. So I think some some people might go, oh, she sounds really brave when they hear your story. But I think you're a fabulous example of going it alone, because so many of the things are going to be talked about, you've actually done on your own, haven't you? And so often I hear women saying, I'd love to do so and so, but I've not got anyone to do it with. Now, obviously, that's not a phrase that you've given heed to, or is it, and you've thought, sod that.

SPEAKER_01: 9:45

No. No, uh, I've always been quite happy to do things by myself. And um, yeah, we can, we can. We just tell ourselves, oh, you know, I might not, I might not, nobody might talk to me, or I might feel alone. But um, I think if you do things by yourself, people are much more friendly, they're more open to helping you. I think if they see you in a group or a couple, um, they think you're okay, so they'll leave they will leave you alone. Um, yeah, I'm perfectly happy to do things by myself. And I think if you try it, you'll like it.

SPEAKER_00: 10:21

Uh also you can do what you want when you want to well, that is something that really appeals to me because as I make no secret of the fact I'm a recovering people pleaser, and I've spent so much of my blinking life not really doing what I want to do to keep the peace. Uh, I I'd always be the one that says, Oh, I don't mind. When maybe I did mind, but I kind of stopped myself minding. So if there were two options, I'd go with the majority, or I'd be the one that said, Oh no, we'll do we'll do what I want to do, and we can do that anytime, it's not going anywhere. Well, in actual fact, I was like, Well, I really wanted to do that. So I love I love what you just said about no, you can say, actually, this is what I want to do. So, naked catwalk, then. How did that come about?

SPEAKER_01: 11:10

Yes, so um, I've been following an artist, Cat Shaw, she's an incredible feminist, um, real supporter of of women, um, and her art is just gorgeous. And it was the day before my 63rd birthday, and um something popped up that she was looking for a hundred women to um paint naked, and then the whole thing was culminating in a show and a naked catwalk. And I thought, well, I'm 63. If I don't do it now, when am I gonna ever do this? So I did, and it was so liberating. I can't tell you. Yes. Well, we actually all painted each other. We all we all got naked and had a had a bowl of paint each and painted each other. So yeah, I spent the afternoon with 60 amazing women covered in paint and glitter.

SPEAKER_00: 12:06

That sounds like indoors on fantastic.

SPEAKER_01: 12:10

Indoors, indoors, and I think she actually got in trouble with the venue because there was glitter everywhere.

SPEAKER_00: 12:16

So it wasn't the nudity, it was the glitter. That I love, that I absolutely love. You can get as naked as you like, just don't get glitter everywhere. But I I love that the kind of the whole, I don't know if it's impulsive or just yes, because as you said, you heard about it, it was a once in a some people use the phrase once in a lifetime, and often it's actually not once in a lifetime, but this probably was a once in a lifetime. And I love the fact you literally grabbed it by the yoni and went for it. So talking of yoni. Yeah, see what I did then. How how did it all come about? I mean, I you actually went, is it right saying you went to Guatemala to train?

SPEAKER_01: 13:03

Was that a a progression of an interest that you'd had from younger or I actually did go to Guatemala last December, but that was to train with a Mayan midwife in um my abdominal massage. So that's kind of an add-on to the woman's work that I've been doing with the Yoni Steam.

SPEAKER_00: 13:23

So take me back. Take me back to when it started.

SPEAKER_01: 13:27

Okay. Okay. So I'd had a couple of friends or knew a couple of people that had suffered prolapse. So I thought, um, obviously, there's the exercises we can do. It's really important to stay toned in our abdomen and our core as as well. So is that pelvic? Is there anything else? So pelvic floor. Um, that's a whole other subject because we need a tight pelvic floor, but if it's too tight, that can also lead to incontinence issues. Because if it's really tight and you need a wee, you can't squeeze any tighter because it's already tight. So, as with everything, that there's there's a balance. So, yeah, we should all be doing pelvic. Should we should all be doing pelvic floor exercises, but that there's a way of doing them. That's another episode. So um, I was just you that's another one. So um I was YouTube in like, is there anything else that you can do? And Yoni steaming kept popping up, and I just thought, oh, I don't really know what I think about that. But what I did notice is all of the women would say, right, okay, these are my herbs. I'm gonna go and steam and then I'll come back and tell you all about it. And when they came back, they all looked like they've been meditating for about an hour. That lovely soft face that you get when you're totally relaxed. So I thought it's got to be worth a go, even if just for that. So I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I was ripping open tea bags, pulling up herbs out of the garden, made myself uh a hot herbal tea to perch myself over. I actually sat on the edge of a chair with a blanket over my legs, which was comfortable for about five minutes. Um, anyway, I persevered for 20. And then after 20 minutes, I just felt like, oh, I need to go to bed in that, you know, that lovely, lovely snoozy, not I'm totally exhausted, just lovely, lovely and snoozy. So I went to bed and I actually had the best night's sleep that I had had for about two years because I was in the early part of my menopause and had been sleeping so well, hadn't been sleeping, you know, tossing and turning on off with the cupboards, anxiety, mad thoughts in the middle of the day.

SPEAKER_00: 15:52

And then the legs, I've got that back again now, that kind of leg pins and needles, restless, oh, it's driving me insane, it really is.

SPEAKER_01: 15:59

There's there's such a huge range of symptoms that go with menopause. Yeah. So from that, I thought, well, there is something to this, and I need to find out a little bit more. So checked around, and at the time there was nobody doing a training for it in the UK. Um, so I found a school in Atlanta and jumped on a plane and went out to Atlanta to train and spent a week or so with a group of amazing women in this big old house learning all about it.

SPEAKER_00: 16:33

So I've I've now got this image of a group of women, yeah, lots of kettles and mugs, pots. What what goes on?

SPEAKER_01: 16:46

Okay, so to set up a yoni steam, you need quite a big um, well, you can use a small saucepan or a bowl, as long as it's got a lid. So the way you would make it is put your think making tea, put your put your herbs into the pot, pour the boiling water over, put a lid on it, let it steep for a couple of minutes, and then you can there are there are way, many ways of doing it. You can do it without um without a steam box. A steam box is ideal because you're comfortable, you're you're sitting on something. So a steam box is just a box with a hole in it that you sit above. Um, that's the ideal. Or um you can steam using some of my clients. I recommend them to use camping toilet seats and put the bowl underneath that. So that's another comfortable way of doing it and cheaper than buying a steam box. Some people like a box because it's like they're thrown and it's part of a lovely self-care ritual. Um, or you can just kneel next to a bed or a sofa, pop the bowl sort of in between your in between your knees, and then you can lean forward so you're still your body is still supported and you can relax into that. So I always think that's quite a good way to try it yourself at home before you invest in in any more equipment. But honestly, it's it is so lovely, it's a lovely thing to do. And if you're leaning forward or using a camping toilet, you need to put something around yourself, like a blanket or a towel, because you want to keep all the steam in so that the medicinal vapours is getting to where it needs to get to, rather than just being dispersed.

SPEAKER_00: 18:40

I'm admitting, I won't I don't like using the word ignorance, but before I encountered you, before I came into your world, I hadn't got a clue what yoni steaming is. But the way you're talking, I get the impression that this this isn't a new fangled thing. This has been going on for generations. Are we are we talking centuries? Are we talking back centuries?

SPEAKER_01: 19:02

Centuries.

SPEAKER_00: 19:03

Yeah. I mean, is it something that women would come together to do?

SPEAKER_01: 19:08

Or I think in some, I mean, now with red tents, it's quite often I think there are steam circles within red tents. Um, it is something where in some countries, some Asian countries, there are spas specifically for that. And when a woman's finished her bleed, then she'll go and have the steam to ensure that that um she's released everything from that bleed and it makes the next period a whole lot more comfortable. So it has been used globally um mainly for postpartum healing. It's fantastic for that, it just pulls everything back. If there's any cuts or tears, it heals that beautifully with without too much scar tissue. Um, and it has, yeah, it's still used in parts of Africa. One of the women that was on the training that I initially did, um she was from Africa and they use it as a pre-wedding ceremony. It's part of the pre-wedding ceremony they do a steam. Um, yeah, common, still commonly used within Chinese medicine and Ayvedic medicine. Um, but I actually looked yesterday, and there was a in um the 16th century, there was a woman called Caterina Sfor Sforza. Caterina Sforza, and she was an Italian noblewoman, alchemist, and healer, and she promoted Yoni steaming, and she wrote a book that midwives um in the 16th century in Italy were working from. So I always tended to think it was something that was from Africa or Asia or India India, sort of faraway places, but actually it was something that was used here. And in medieval times, um, they used to make little cakes out of resins and herbs and burn them under the skirts, and that was done here. So it is something that we did use to do, we've just forgotten. So they they sorry, go on.

SPEAKER_00: 21:22

No, no, I was just saying, it was just lovely to see it being reintroduced as such. I can see little kind of, you know, we have spas opening up. I could see, I think you should open up a chain of these yoni spas, for want of a better word.

SPEAKER_01: 21:40

I know, and there are there are some around, there definitely are some around. So it it would have been used in medieval times for um fertility, regulating the menstrual cycle, and for postpartum recovery. So, you know, that's what we that's what it is used for today.

SPEAKER_00: 21:58

But um so many benefits.

SPEAKER_01: 22:00

Fun fact. Yeah, so many, all of us need to know how to do it, and I'm sure once you try it, you love it. So, fun fact 500 BC, um, the ancient Greeks believed that the that the womb was a wandering organ. So it would wander around and push itself up against other organs and cause all sorts of problems like respiratory problems, things like that. So, their solution, because the womb likes pleasant fragrances, so their solution was to burn um resins under the woman's skirt and put bad smells under her nose to encourage the womb back down to its place to stop it from wandering around.

SPEAKER_00: 22:48

I know what I'm lost for words. I'm lost for words. Which is quite rare, which is quite rare. Well, I I you know now I'm I'm I would say I was itching to find out how to actually do it. That doesn't sound right. We don't want any itching, but that one thing it might help to counterbalance if you do have that, because these are things that we need to talk about. We don't want to keep it under our skirts, we want to actually get it all out there. We're not necessarily all out there, but find a quiet place. So I will be picking your brains in a minute about your top tips. But before we go into that, you've also mentioned just in passing that you rode horses or rode a horse across a mountain path and something to do with reindeers. Now, what was that? Or did I dream it?

SPEAKER_01: 23:39

Yes, that was a couple of years ago. Um, so many years ago, I travelled through Mongolia on the Trans-Siberian train.

SPEAKER_00: 23:48

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01: 23:49

Um, and at that point I thought one day I will come back and gallop across the steps on a horse. That was that was my dream. Anyway, I didn't go to the steps, but I did go to northern Mongolia, just sort of below Siberia, and I rode a horse up through the tiger forest over a really treacherous mountain pass. It was beautiful, but it was pretty nerve-wracking. Um, and when we got to the top, six hours hard ride. When we got to the top, um, we changed and rode reindeer then, because the horses don't it it was quite wet up there, and horses' hooves sink into that, they don't like it. But reindeer have big flat feet, so they're perfect. So, yeah, changed onto a reindeer and rode across the tundra to uh meet with a Mongolian shaman, which it was just incredible, incredible experience. That that truly was a once-in-a-lifetime.

SPEAKER_00: 24:49

How do you even go about doing we're talking about, you know, stepping out of comfort zones is something I talk about all the time. But as you say, seizing those opportunities, saying yes. I mean, was this a random conversation? Was it something you thought, no, I'm going to do this? Did you read about it? How do you think, well, I'm going to take a week off, I'm going to take two weeks off and go and do this?

SPEAKER_01: 25:11

Um, because it was something that I had always wanted to do. I just started browsing the internet for riding in Mongolia. And there are lots of lots of opportunities to do that. But this one particularly interested me because of the the meeting the shaman aspect of it. And initially I thought, oh, I don't know, maybe it's just for the tourists. Um, but it will be an amazing thing. It was so not just for the tourists. And it was it was hard. It was a hard sound. It was a hard ride and stayed it, yeah. And then we stayed in teepees with the reindeer people for a couple of days, absolutely living their life. There was there was no luxuries, but um incredible, wonderful, incredible thing to do.

SPEAKER_00: 25:58

Wonderful. Now, I'd like to, if we could, move into your tips and advice because there's going to be women listening saying, Look, I've tuned in to find out about this because I need this. This is something I want to find out more. I need to boost my self-care by embracing yoni steaming. So perhaps we start if you could talk us through. I alluded to them earlier, I almost got the word wrong. You've got five herbal blends that you use. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_01: 26:32

I do. So I've got five formulas that I make up with organic um herbs. Some of the herbs are actually biodynamically grown, which I love because they're grown within cycles of the moon. And as women, we cycle with the moon. So I love, I love that. Um, the herbal blends I've got one is postpartum, so that has nothing in it that can transfer through to the milk if you're if you're breastfeeding. You know, a lot of herbs have not been tested for that, so probably more would be okay. But the herbs that I use in that have been, so I know they're perfectly safe for postpartum healing. Um, for midlife, the main blend that I would recommend for that is toning, and it says it does what it says on the packet, so it's toning, moisturizing, and cooling. So that is a lovely blend for for women of our age, lovely. Um, the other one, possibly for women of our age, is um the clearing blend, and that is more for infection. That's not a blend that you would use continuously. But if you've got an infection starting to happen, that is a great one just for clearing it out. So the way that I work, if somebody came to me for a consultation, it wouldn't be so much like I have this problem, what do I take for that? I look at the whole of their cycle, what's going on with them, is there how much heat is in their body. So I'm looking more from maybe a Chinese medicine perspective, looking at the whole landscape of the woman, to then come back and decide which herbal blend is best for her, rather than I have this specific issue and this is this is the one for that. So that is how I work. But the herbs are all on my website. So if anyone wants to just choose for themselves, of course, they have that option. But if they wanted something more detailed um and specific, then then I can do a consultation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 28:37

Oh, that sounds right. I'll say we'll all your details are on the show notes for our episode and on the Midlife Unlimited podcast website, and we'll be sharing them verbally later on. But something that's just sprung to mind before we go into, as you say, how you actually go about doing this, and you you've kindly said you're going to be talking us through how we can do it at home or what it involves coming to see you. But there might be women listening that are thinking this involves an intimate area. They might have images of is it like going for a smear test? Is it embarrassing? Do I feel prone? Is Tuesday going to be looking at my bits? Do I have to sit there with my legs apart with no knickers on? I mean, these it sounds dark, but these might be all things that are doesn't but I've had so many gynee surgeries that to be honest, you get used to walking around naked from the waist down in front of a doctor, right? You can do it anywhere, but well not anywhere, but um just to put people's minds at rest. Is it something that it's kind of whip your knickers off and get to it? Or is it more I I get the impression it's more of an enjoyable, calming experience?

SPEAKER_01: 29:55

Oh, it is amazing. No, and thank you for asking that because I I often forget to mention, I do not get to see anything that I should.

SPEAKER_00: 30:04

I just I just thought people might think, oh my goodness, is she going to be peering between my legs and wondering what's going on up there?

SPEAKER_01: 30:13

Yeah, no, and I think I think that that definitely has been a concern, but yeah, it doesn't need to be. So if you come to me for a treatment, I have big um flowing gowns that you put on. So you would, for the actual steam part of the treatment, you put on a gown. Um, I have steam boxes, so you would just put the gown on, whip your knickers off, lift the gown up and reverse back onto the steam box, pretty much as you would reverse back onto the loo. So I don't I don't get to see anything. Um, the treatment itself, um it's just so wonderfully relaxing, and it just feels amazing. I think people think of steam as it's going to be hot and burn. Yeah. And it's not, it's a warm medicinal vapor. So it's very soothing, and um the way it works is our mucous membrane, which is the whole of the inside of our body, um, is about 200 times more absorbent than the skin on our out on the outside of our body. So I've heard I've heard it said that all the steam goes right up inside you, right around to the ovaries. Of course it doesn't. The steam enters a little way into the vagina, but actually it's via the mu the mucous membrane, um uh vulva, and it's absorbed into the bloodstream. So, so the medicine of the herbs, that's how it's getting into your body. Um, when you like drink a cup of herbal tea, of course, you get benefits from from that, but by the time those herbs get down to your womb or you know, into your pelvis, it's already gone around your whole system, been filtered by the liver. There's there's not so much of the active ingredient left. Whereas if you are absorbing straight straight into your pelvis, into the bloodstream from there, then then the medicine, the medicine of the herbs is going directly to where we want it to be.

SPEAKER_00: 32:21

That sounds brilliant. What did you ask me?

SPEAKER_01: 32:24

I've wandered off there.

SPEAKER_00: 32:25

No, no, you didn't at all, you didn't at all, because we're we're moving now into your well, you you've given so many tips and advice already. But let's let's assume for now, obviously, we're going to be giving your contact details, as I say, so people can get in touch, they can book an appointment with you. I mean, whereabouts are you based?

SPEAKER_01: 32:45

I'm actually based in North Norfolk. So if somebody comes to me for a one-to-one, and I do actually have women that drive up from London, um, so people will travel for the treatment. Um, or if it's just advice on herbs, I can do online consultations and then post out the herbs. So generally, when people come to me for an appointment, they'll have already filled out quite a detailed form. So we'll start the appointment, just check it in, making sure I've got all the details so that I can select the right herbal blend for them. And then we start off with an abdominal massage, um, which is so lovely and soothing. And so many women are a bit wary of having their tummies touched. It's like, oh, it's a bit fat, it's a bit wobbly, it's got stretch marks. You know, we're really protective. It's it and that that's what you went to Atlanta to just just when I went to um Guatemala, I was already doing abdominal massage because I am a massage therapist, I have been for almost 40 years. So um, yeah, the the Guatemala trip was just another layer of amazingness that I can add in. I can add in. So I think because I've trained for so long, or because I've been doing it for so long and I have so many different trainings, I can actually bring in, you know, whatever is needed. So each treatment with me is generally a little bit different from the last one, just because you're in a different place and and different things might be needed. So yeah, the treatment starts with an abdominal massage, which is lovely, soothing, relaxing, helps helps the woman to feel safe and secure and relaxed. And then I do a clay and castor oil pack, which I put over the womb space. So castor oil's long been used in Ayurvedic medicine and it breaks down. So for women that have cysts and fibroids, I would recommend castor oil packs anyway. That it's it just helps break things down and the body to reabsorb. Um, and the clay is a detox. So the two things I mix the two things together, put that over the womb, and then put a hot water bottle on top. And so that is just a lovely, it's another relaxing, gorgeous letting go. During that time, that's on for about 20 minutes. So during that time, I can either do a hand, foot, scalp massage, or I also um do some shamanic practices, one of them being shamanic healing. So I can do the I can do uh healing. So that's an energy healing. I'm not touching with that, but I'm I'm uh working with energy to move any blockages or or anything that needs moving on. Um, and then after that, often people fall asleep at this this stage, and then after that, it's on with the gown and uh onto the steambox. And again, the time with that will vary depending on what we're working on. So maximum really is 35 minutes, um, or it might be as little as 10, depending on what's what's come up during the consultation.

SPEAKER_00: 36:18

So that is a perfect segue then into for ladies listening who think I'm I'm gonna take some time over Christmas and I'm gonna treat myself, I'm gonna have a little experiment. Now, you said obviously we'll give your details, I say, in a bit. They can get the um blends from yourself. How do they go about having a little Yoni steaming experiment, a DIY, before they decide whether they want to explore it further? What would your top tips be?

SPEAKER_01: 36:54

Okay, so I do sell the blends, but there are other places that you can get the blends from. What I would say is make sure that they're organic because we don't want to be putting chemicals. You know, I've just explained how we absorb. Yeah. So we don't want to be absorbing chemicals. Um, also the pot, if you're using a bowl, don't use plastic. Use either ceramic, metal, um yeah, ceramical or glass, just because we don't want the hot water on the plastic, and then that is also releasing um toxins. So I was immediately thinking, oh, I've got a big mixing bowl.

SPEAKER_00: 37:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 37:33

Sorry, I talked over you. Right. Yeah, yeah. Um yeah, prefer preferably not.

SPEAKER_00: 37:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 37:43

Um, yeah, make yourself a lovely space, put on some nice music, light some candles. Some people will journ journal if that's your thing, but just create a lovely space for yourself. And then um I kind of mentioned earlier the ways you can do it. So either if you have nothing to sit on, I think the the most comfortable way to do it is kneeling. So you would kneel down, make up your herbal tea with a lid on, and then lean against the side of a bed or a chair, wrap a big towel or blanket around your waist, and then take the top off um off the pot. So you'll be hovering, I don't know, maybe eight inches above.

SPEAKER_00: 38:29

I was gonna say how far above it.

SPEAKER_01: 38:34

Yeah, well, yeah, it's about about that. I mean, you don't want you don't, you just want your body to be relaxed. So that that's kind of determining how far away. But you're fairly close, but it should not burn, it should not be too hot. And if it is, move, just get up, waft the steam out, and and then go back and start again. So it's supposed to be a pleasurable thing, it's not supposed to be an endurance test. Um, and then if you're steaming from home, um, probably it will stay warm for 10-15 minutes, something like that. So, yeah, that's a good place to start. And you will feel really, don't have too much to do afterwards, just relax.

SPEAKER_00: 39:18

I was gonna say, yeah, obviously you will want to relax anyway. In terms of, well, two questions have sprung to mind. Firstly, is it a good idea to have a shower beforehand or have a shower after or or not? Just do your usual daily routine. Is there a time of day that works best for it? And also, are we using boiling water from a kettle? Are we using water that has been boiled and then left to cool a bit?

SPEAKER_01: 39:44

Or um, so shower first and then you can leave the um you can leave the the volatile oils from the the plants on your skin um rather than showering them straight off afterwards. Yeah. Um boiling water, yeah, from from a kettle. So it's like you're making tea. So what you can do if you're worried about burning yourself or burning your legs, just wrap a towel around the outside of the bowl just to protect yourself from there. Um, don't boil the herbs. I've also seen that people say boil the herbs for 20 minutes. Well, you're just wasting all the goodness from them. So don't do that. If you're using um like roots or bark or something like that, that would need to be boiled, but we don't that's not generally used within steaming anyway. So don't boil them. What was your other question? I've forgotten.

SPEAKER_00: 40:39

I know I think you've covered it off. I think you've covered it off. Now I say, obviously, yeah, no, obviously, you it's it sounds like you very carefully create your blends. Um, but what what kind of herbs are included? Just to give an idea of what we're talking about. I mean, is it things like lavender, rosemary? Are they well-known herbs? Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 41:01

Um, yeah, that was your other question. I remember there was another one. So just before bed is really nice because then you feel snoozy and you feel warm and yummy, and you just slip into bed and it's gorgeous. So lavender is always a good one for its relaxation properties. Um for its relaxation. It's also very cleansing, so it's and lavender's antibacterial, antifungal, antiviral. So it's always a nice one to include in a herbal blend. It's actually quite strong. You know that by the smell of it. It's a gorgeous smell, but it's pretty potent. So just use a little bit of lavender. Um, mint is another lovely one. Um, I don't know if you saw Miriam Mugley's actually went for a yarn steam when she was traveling in Australia. It's on one of the things.

SPEAKER_00: 41:55

So I mean that's on my list of things to watch. Oh, I must we'll go and check that out then. That should be on iPlay.

SPEAKER_01: 42:02

It should be. So she was a bit apprehensive at first, didn't really know what she thought about it. Anyway, went and steamed, and she had good, she got quite emotional during the steam. And then afterwards, she said that she felt all warm and minty and went home and had a wank in typical Miriam Bugley's style.

SPEAKER_00: 42:21

Well, perhaps we'll all decide to do that after we've had it, especially if we're going to bed afterwards, we're feeling all sleepy and gorgeous. Oh, I love this. I love this. So I say we're gonna be giving your contact details in a minute. Dear listeners, I promise they are coming. But what would be your your one word of advice before for any anyone out there, myself included, that thinks I'm gonna give this a go over the festive season. Lock the door, I'm guessing.

SPEAKER_01: 42:48

Yeah, you need to you need to create a space where you can relax and people are not gonna barge in. Um, I mean, some people will put a bowl into into the toilet bowl, lock themselves in the bathroom and do it there. I kind of feel it's a little bit more of a sacred thing than that for us. But if that's the only place you can get some space, absolutely. Or if you really can't kneel down, you know, that might be a good place to try for the first time.

SPEAKER_00: 43:17

Yeah. That's a good point, actually, because my knee's playing up at the moment. We've had a lot with the damp weather. I've got early on set, early on set, but arthritis, and I can really think, yeah. So I suppose cushions, just make sure you're comfortable.

SPEAKER_01: 43:31

Make sure and think about that beforehand. You're gonna be kneeling for about 10 to 15 minutes, kneeling, sitting, squatting. You know, some people can squat for that amount of time. I don't think I could. So, yeah, think about that, how you're gonna be comfortable for that period of time. As I said, I perched myself on the edge of a chair and popped the bowl sort of underneath me there. And that was comfortable for about five minutes, but I did endure it for 20. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 43:58

So you say about what, 10 minutes are we looking?

SPEAKER_01: 44:02

You said no more than no more than 30. I mean, if you're it if you're steaming at home, um, just just put using the method I've talked about, it's not your water's not going to stay warm enough for that long anyway. So really it's sort of 10 to 15 minutes and then it starts to cool, and that's you know, that's enough. Yeah. You'll feel it once it starts to feel feel cooler, then you know that's that's it, it's finished.

SPEAKER_00: 44:31

Then it's time to go and relax. Yes. And reap the benefits. Yeah. Oh, I'm I'm doing I'm feeling relaxed just talking about it, let alone doing it.

SPEAKER_01: 44:42

You know, it's uh when you first hear it, it sounds like, well, that is a bit of an odd thing. And I definitely thought the same. But honestly, I don't know anyone that's tried it that has not carried on doing it as a as a regular practice for themselves.

SPEAKER_00: 44:57

Well, I think I think discovering you coming into your world has brought a new layer to the phrase self-care. That almost rhymes, doesn't it? That almost rhymes. Well, I am now rather excited to be moving on to your three questions. Oh so it's the same three questions that I ask each of my fabulous female guests. So you're not going to escape. And the first question is, and I say, I'd love to hear if there's a story behind it as well. What is your midlife anthem, the piece of music that lights you up when you hear it?

SPEAKER_01: 45:39

Okay, so I've changed my mind on this. The one that I originally chose was Um Be Yourself by Perroquai, because who else are you going to be? You can only be yourself. Absolutely. But actually, this I don't know if it lights me up, but the one that that hits me right to the core at the moment is um Do you want it dark, You Want It Darker by Leonard Cohen. And to me, that speaks of resilience. So, you know, we we can be light and fluffy, but also we need to be strong in the dark places. So that's that is my anthem, You Want It Darker.

SPEAKER_00: 46:18

And it's actually contemplating that, isn't it? And actually thinking about it rather than oh, oh, I like that. I like a bit of moodiness. I don't know why I've got dark, I've got dark chocolate in my in my head now. I don't know why. So had intrigued then to hear question two your midlife mantra, the phrase that you live your midlife by.

SPEAKER_01: 46:44

Okay, so my midlife mantra is um we often hear the phrase be kind because you don't know what a person is carrying, and that is absolutely true. But um, my slant on that is be curious because you don't know what magic they have. Because everyone has a little bit of magic in them. So don't ever write people off. Don't be curious about them.

SPEAKER_00: 47:11

And I think curiosity is one of the most wonderful things we can embrace in midlife and beyond, kind of reawakening that childlike curiosity that we might have stifled, we might have trampled on it, locked it away, like you've been doing. You are a wonderful example of embracing that curiosity, trying things. And obviously, the whole Yoni stealing is something I think so many, well, me myself and the listeners will be doing. But first, before we tell them how they can contact you, what is the title of your autobiography?

SPEAKER_01: 47:45

Okay, so the title of my autobiography is The Adventures of a Quiet Girl, and there are two reasons for that. So, a long time ago, um, my lovely mum said, Um, you know, you sometimes say things so quietly that it could easily be missed, or if it is heard, it could be dismissed as like, well, that's never going to happen. But sometime, sooner or later, that thing will be happening. So that is one of the reasons. The other one is in my 20s, I lived in Australia, and I am still friends with this woman now. I had a great friend there, and we did a bit of a road trip on coaches together across Australia, and we were everyone else on the coach called us the quiet girls. But actually, the reason we were such quiet girls, we are quiet naturally anyway. But the reason we were such quiet girls is every time there would be a comfort break, we would run across the car park and have a little joint and then get back onto the coach and watch the scenery going past. So that's just that's just always made me giggle.

SPEAKER_00: 48:59

Oh, I love that. Oh, well, that it that is a brilliant it we're talking of autobiography. Do not judge a book by its cover. That is a really really good never assume. Well, as the former newspaper editor, I'm all about assume makes an ass out of you and me. So never assume anything. Oh, those are brilliant, right? The the book is coming. I'm putting together a book with the answers that my wonderful guests are giving me. So you are gonna be in that book. But before I work go and work on my book, at last do you get the chance to share with listeners how they can contact you? Obviously, your details are in the show notes for our episode, and you have your guest profile on the Midlife Unlimited podcast website. But how can we get in touch with you? Where can we find you?

SPEAKER_01: 49:48

Okay, so I have a website which is really easy to remember. It's yoni steam oneword.co.uk. Um you'll find my email on that um and my socials. So that's probably the that's probably the easiest one.

SPEAKER_00: 50:06

Brilliant. And Yoni, we are spelling how Y-O-N-I steam, one word.

SPEAKER_01: 50:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 50:16

Excellent. Oh, that's brilliant. And I I look forward to hearing feedback as well from all you ladies out there that are gonna go and give this a try. And I'm sure Tuesday would love to hear from you as well. How you found it. Are you taking yeah, are you taking some festive self-care time and giving this a try? So, yeah, drop me a text or you can email me as well via the link in the show notes. Come and join the Midlife Unlimited podcast Facebook group, the link again in the show notes, uh, where you'll find the website link with details of my exclusive midlife metamorphosis coaching offers and my popular podcast cherry zoom one-to-one offer as well. So, thank you ever so much for joining me Tuesday. It's been absolutely brilliant. I've learned so much, and uh yes, I think that is something that's gonna go on my Christmas list for myself. Um, thank you for listening. I look forward to you tuning in next week because don't forget Midlife Unlimited has a new episode every Thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts. So here's to being fabulous and flourishing together and living Midlife Unlimited. Thanks ever so much for joining me Tuesday. Bye.