How to Host a Retreat for Women Aged 50 plus with Guest Joanna Tocher

Retreats. Whether it's a business brainstorm at a Yorkshire farmhouse, or a blissful Bali soul cleanse, more and more of us are discovering the delights of going on a retreat... taking time out to refocus, refuel and recharge.

And more and more of the women I speak to have enjoyed the experience so much they are toying with the idea of running one themselves.

So, in true Midlife Unlimited® style, this episode will help you stop dreaming and start doing as my guest Intuitive coach and holistic therapist Joanna Tocher shares insights and inspiration from her years of running fabulous retreats for women celebrating Midlife and beyond. 

Connect with Joanna 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jotocher/

https://jotocher.com/

https://www.instagram.com/jo_tocher_wellbeing/

https://www.facebook.com/joy.holistics.9

Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:01

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for women who want more. I'm your host, Kate Porter, the Midlife Metamorphosis Coach, and I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling it like it really is. Nothing is off limits, because together there's no limit to what we can achieve. So, welcome to today's episode. Retreat. Whether it's a business brainstorm at a Yorkshire farmhouse or a blissful barley soul cleanse, more and more of us are discovering the delights of going on a retreat, taking time out to refocus, refuel and recharge. And more and more of the women I speak to have enjoyed the experience so much, they're toying with the idea of running one themselves. So, in true midlife unlimited style, this episode will help you stop dreaming and start doing. Because I'm delighted to be joined by my guest today, Joanna Tocker, intuitive coach and holistic therapist, to talk about how to hold a retreat for women aged 50 plus. So welcome, Joanna. It's fabulous to have you here.

SPEAKER_00 1:42

Thank you, Kate. It's wonderful to be here on your wonderful podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Well, retreats. I'm going to be up front here. I've been on away days and I've been on amazing holidays, but I've not actually ventured on what I would typically label a retreat based on what seems to be flooding my social media. Because it seems that everywhere I look, everyone is running some sort of retreat. What is going on? Why have they suddenly exploded everywhere?

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Good question. And I just think it's everybody's wanting to get away and try something different. And I just think that, you know, a group of women together in a gorgeous place, beautiful setting, no matter if it is, you know, in the north, somewhere in a beautiful house, or in the south of England, or by the sea, or by the mountains, or wherever, it just is what people are craving for, just to get away from it all, just to have something different, something to look forward to, and be with some loads of like-minded women, which is, you know, when women get together and really connect, it's just nothing like it, is there? I know you know that too.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

No, absolutely. And I think that's what my my feeling is that it almost doesn't matter the the why in terms of whether it's business or spiritual or yoga or whatever. As you say, it is about that magical something that I hear again and again that happens when you get people together in this kind of setting. So, I mean, what is it that you love so much? I mean, obviously, you're now well into is it the second, third year of organizing your retreats, or is it more than that? It's more than that now.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

I think it's about we've stuck we did our first one in uh 2018.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Yeah, oh, because we're gonna be, thankfully, you're gonna be sharing your top tips and insights later on, because there is so much in terms of the actual logistics to bear in mind, but also as we say, this what can be the elusive why, why you're hosting it. And also, I'm guessing it must be a really important starting point to think, what do I actually want these women to get from it? How do I want them to feel? Because rather than just saying, yeah, I'm gonna rent this house, I'm gonna rent this hotel, how did you actually start making that shift from going on them yourself to thinking, right, yeah, I'm actually going to take dip my toe in the water and take that step towards organizing one?

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Yeah, I think it was really strong for me, um, of going on on a couple of retreats before and just realizing how powerful they can be when you get a group of women together, like-minded women. And we all have a similarity, a lot of us have a similarity in that um we're looking for something more. Yeah, you know, midlife, is this it? There's lots of those questions. Who am I now? I've been a mother, uh perhaps I've been a mother, perhaps I've been a business owner, perhaps I've been a um uh businesswoman, perhaps I've got a high career that I'd put all my energy into. Um, you know, perhaps I'm a wife, perhaps I'm a sister, perhaps I'm a daughter. And it's it's all shifting, yeah. So much stuff, isn't there? There's so much stuff to navigate in um for us at all at that point. It's interesting, actually, isn't it? Because when you have children and you and they're young, and you kind of think, oh, it'll be so much easier when they're older. So much easier when they're older and they're independent and things like that. But actually, that doesn't always happen. As our children grow into young adults and um older adults and things, then you've got all the problems that come with that. And sometimes that's divorce, and sometimes that's trying to find a career, and you know.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Yeah, I mean, in terms of relationships with kids, I mean, obviously, everyone, everyone knows I have my boy, but I'm experiencing emotions now, now that he's a man, he's living with his girlfriend in London. Emotions now, as my role as a mother and matriarch is completely shifting, that I've never and and strength of emotions, and you know, it's it's not it's not really jealousy, it's just uh so much of the who am I? What now? Oh my goodness, have you know, have I completely lost my my purpose? Well, not not that he is my only, you know, but it is constantly reassessing, and just when you think you've got it nailed, something else will happen or a conversation, and you're like, oh nobody needs me anymore.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

I know it's the worst feeling, and it it is awful. And I think we all we all go through that. I was just thinking about it this weekend, and you know, my eldest is is living over in Sydney now. She's moved over there and doesn't look like she's going to be coming back anytime soon. She's having a great time. My youngest is sort of living at home, but wanting to spend more time out of the home and you know, wanting to to try and you know to be with her friends and do more things. And it is, it's a complex feeling of emotions that we're we're we're getting. It's just like, okay, we've raised, we've raised these kids, we've given them wings to fly. We can't click them now, you know, and that's what you have to keep reminding yourself of. So I think getting back to the retreat, it's just nourishment, it's just nourishment for us um as women that is what we need. And I think that is why, and maybe not everybody has children on retreats, and that's you know, that come on retreats, maybe they don't have children, but they will have something. They you know probably got elderly parents that they're looking after, and their career is demanding, and they're busy, busy, busy, you know, with that, and that's taking away all those sorts of things. So yeah, it's it's a it's it's a hole that needs to be filled, and I think that's where retreats come in because we can all talk about it, we can all bond together, um, and we can, and it's it's powerful, and I think it's it can create great camaradi, but also great shifts in your mindset as well, which I think we all need.

SPEAKER_02 8:12

No, absolutely. You know, obviously, in in terms of the uh the umbrella theme for a retreat, I I would have thought it really is driven by one's own personal experiences and expertise. Uh and you know, that's never more obvious than obviously the the whole feel and ethos behind your retreat. So for the listeners that don't know you, can you just backtrack a bit? Give us a bit of your your own metamorphosis story and and how you've come to be doing like holistic wellness. Because when I see the photos of your retreat, talk about FOMO. If there's a if there's a word that's stronger than FOMO, that's what I get.

SPEAKER_00 8:52

Yeah, they do look beautiful. I mean, I've always loved travel from New Zealand originally, and I left New Zealand when I was 21 to come over to the UK and um just kind of find myself really, but also the other half of my family. My dad was um Scottish, so I had a lot of relatives over here, and I I had a very strong pull to come to the UK because obviously I'm half British. Um and that's where my funny surname originates from, Tocha.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Did I say did I say it right?

SPEAKER_00 9:22

You did say it right, but it it's sort of I say to people it rhymes with Loch, Tocha, Locker, you know, Loch, as in the Scottish Loch, but yeah, clock as well. Yeah, it's I always have to spell it. It's one of those sorts of surnames I always have to spell because it sounds different to how it looks. But um yeah, so I started traveling and I worked in the after coming to the UK, did get a job working in the um travel industry in um Greece, which I was working for a British tour operator back in the day in my twenties, so long ago now.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

I bet there's stories from that as well.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Oh, it was a great time, it was just the best time, so much fun, and being in the sun and uh all that type of thing. So I was on on a Greek island, mainly COVID. I went to COS for the first two summers and then Crete for the uh the last five summers, and then I worked on a cruise shop for cruise ship for a little while. So travel was very much in my DNA, and then one day I thought woke up and I turned 30 or 31, and I thought, you know what? I think I better get sensible now and settled down. Those signposts were yes, grand older age of 30, and you know, everyone had gone to school with, they'd had about three kids by now, and I was sort of like, okay, right, come on, get your sort your life out. So I came back to London and I got a job working up in the city of London, organising their travels, which I loved, it was a great job. And um, by that stage I'd met my who is now husband, but had a boyfriend at the time, and we'd been going out together probably about we'd been together probably about three years, I think, and I fell pregnant and it wasn't planned, it was unexpected. We we weren't married at the time or anything, so um it was a bit of a shock to both of us, but we decided to go ahead and do you know, carry on with the pregnancy. But unfortunately, that pregnancy um basically at six months. I at the scan, at a six-month scan, they realized there was an anomaly with the growth of the baby, and there was too much um liquid in his tummy area, it was a boy, um, and not enough in my amniotic sac. So sadly, um we we lost him. He he died um in in the womb. And so I had to go through all that by you know, having a oh god, it was awful. It was the worst time of my life. I look back on it now and I think that has that put me on a different path, a completely different path. You know, it I it sort of opened me up to asking more questions and looking at the world in a different way and you know, becoming a bit more spiritual. I sort of really a friend of mine said to me, Oh, you know, about the Buddhist way of life, and they they they say that about souls and how they come in for a short amount of time or for a longer amount of time and things like that. And when she told me that, that really landed with me. And I thought, yeah, I can get my head around that, I can sort of understand why that has happened now. Um and it's put me on a different path. So that got me into the sort of holistic way of living. I I left my job because I just couldn't get back into the city and it was too much for me. I left my job and I I wondered what I was gonna do. So I temped for a year and I worked with this really nice guy who said to me, Look, he said he wanted to make me permanent. And I said, Um, I just don't know what I'm gonna do with my life, so I can't really accept that. He said, just take it, just take it for now and see we how far you get it. And I stayed there for a year, but in that time I had decided that I wanted to train as an aromatherapist at the Tissarand Institute. So I'd read this magazine article, and it was that was quite that was quite an amazing feeling. It was just I I'd started to read this. It was a girl who has been interviewed in it, and how she'd worked in the corporate, and something had happened. I can't remember what wasn't the loss of a baby, but something had happened, and how it she decided to change her life, and she decided to become an aromatherapist. And when she was when I was reading it, I had all these tingles going up the back of my spine. Oh wow. Hair, neck hair was standing up, and it was just like, oh my gosh, my heart started beating fast. And then at the bottom of it, of the page, it said, if you want to know more, we're doing a toast taster weekend, it's going to be on this weekend. And I just without hesitation or thought, I must have emailed straight away and said, I want to go on the taster weekend. And I did, and I loved it, and then I signed up immediately to do the full-time um courses in aromatherapists. Um, and it was held in Hammersbeth back in the day. The Tisserand were sort of the place to go, you know, the big school, the main school back in the 90s. So that's that's how I got into my sort of holistic therapy uh world, and from there I was fortunate enough to fall pregnant again after I'd gone through my training, had my first job. I worked at the sanctuary in Covent Garden. Oh, lovely. Yeah, it was a great first job, and um yeah, and I fell pregnant. So I had um I had my my daughter who's now 26. Um, and so I kind of I was able to work around the children, I was able to work around um that, but just sort of one on one and a half days a week, you know, a little bit. Uh and I had a job working in the Portland hospital with a friend who and another Romotherapist who'd set up a um a kind of like small company within the um physiotherapy department at the at the Portland. So she brought us in as specialists, so we did aromatherapy, prenatal, pre- and post-natal massages, and then I taught baby massage as well, and it was just great. It was just great, and it was one day a week, you know, it was perfect. And I had a friend who looked after my child, and then I looked after her child, her baby when she went off to work back to work. So that's how we sorted that out. But slowly, slowly, I sort of started to add in other therapies, and I then went on to do hypnotherapy and mindfulness meditation, and um, and I did lots of different things, did the coaching, and then I got into sound therapy, tuning forks, and bowls and pipes and things like that. And your cards? And my cards, I put together my cards, my oracle cards, um, Cherish the Essence of You, they're called, and yeah, wrote a book on how to um get uh get through pregnancy loss, basically. It was called it's called Life After Miscarriage, your guide to healing from pregnancy loss. And I did go down that route of of coaching and working with women who had lost babies in pregnancy, and I did that for quite a long time. Um, but then there was always this thing in the back of my mind is like I love travel, to sort of get back to it. How can I combine what I do with travel? And it was um probably about in my mid-50s when I sort of had this went to Greece with some friends, back to where we used to work. And we both there was a few of us that said that it would be great to do a retreat here. I thought, oh yes, it would be great to do a retreat here.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

Spark. The spark was planted.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Spark was planted, but that didn't that didn't come off with those particular girls, uh women. That it just didn't, I think the the drive wasn't was very much there for me, but not so much for them. So that petered out, and I was a bit disappointed, but it had started, as you say, the seed was planted and the you know, the feelers were out. And when I was um at a networking lunch this particular day, I was talking to this friend who just she was just training in yoga, Becky, Becky Bauman. And yeah, so I was trying she was trying to think uh training as a yoga teacher, is just about to um graduate, and then another friend was doing um, she was she had a sort of travel business where she rented out villas and things. So the three of us came together and we thought, let's do a retreat, and that's how it started back in 2018, and it was small, we had five people, but it was great because we learned so much on that.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Well, I'll say I'm I'm so excited that I've got you here today to share your learnings, share your insights. And I'm thinking then one of your first insights or top tips or lessons learned would be the phrase you just used, it was small, because sometimes we can have this like, yes, it's gonna be this, it's gonna be that, and almost get overwhelmed by making it overcomplicated. So, would you would you recommend starting small?

SPEAKER_00 18:36

I would recommend starting small. Starting small and just be very um mindful of um what you're offering and and you're outgoing. So don't go out and think, oh, this place is absolutely beautiful. I'm going to spend a load of money on that because you won't make your money back. Because the first one is always it's always one where if you're lucky if you come out even, but you will have all those uh learnings um from it and what works, what doesn't work. So yeah, don't go OTT on the first one. Make it, you know. I know it's it's kind of hard for people because they think, oh, then if I get this beautiful venue, then people will want to come and it's this and that and the other. But when you're doing it, there's a lot of things that can can go wrong that you wouldn't have possibly thought of. Um but you soon, you know, you learn, and you learn about the time of year, when it's a good time to go, what it's not, if it's too cold. Because the shoulder sea seasons tend to be the cheapest times to go for a retreat. So May, October. But you are these days as well, the weather's changing so much that you never often never guaranteed um sunshine because not June, July, and August, and it's too hot then. I think we we didn't want to do June, July, and August because it's it's too hot. You know, if you're going to be doing it.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Well, that's something to bear, yeah, precisely. And women going through hormonal hormonal, I can't even speak. I'm I'm picturing myself in a lovely location rather, rather than sunny, sunny Beaconsfield, but it it's not quite it's not quite retreat-worthy, really. Um, but no, as I say, temperatures and how people are going to react and be able to do activities, or as you say, yoga, etc., that's a really key thing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 20:35

It is a key thing, and it is very, very hot out there. But um, I suppose, I mean, we do yoga because that's part of ours, but not everybody's going to do yoga, people might just do a business retreat, which I suppose won't be as bad. But what you've got to do is you've got to factor in free time, and that's the second thing that I would very much reiterate about people. Don't want to be busy all the time because they've got a busy life. You know, so there is downtime as needed, and we always leave the afternoons with downtime to go and swim or you know, go and have a snooze, have a nap, why not? Read a book, sit on a sunbed, have some quiet time, listen to music, whatever you want to do. Um, and that's one of the things that we sort of make a guideline in the beginning when we get everyone together at the what kind of briefing, the welcome meeting, is that we say, if you see somebody who's just taken themselves off to a sunbed and a book, don't necessarily think that they want company. Because they might want to be on their own. You know, that's that's the thing. Because if I think, you know, there's always there's always a group of women that get together and chat because that's what we do. Women, we love to chat and connect and and that's lovely. But some people just need their own space. And I think you've got to be aware of that, that we know it set that boundary that's another thing you know set the boundary if people want to go off and on their own and just read a book and be quiet let them um so you know just for that to be an awareness about so that's another tip um not to you know think about the weather where you're going to go what it's going to be like especially abroad um set some downtime enough downtime that people don't feel that they're doing all the time they can't quite catch their breath and that's a thing that we did in the beginning as well we had it as sort of a bit too scheduled with too many things in and some people don't want that some people just need to stop and absolutely stop and just be um but we we do sort encourage that the being time you know we always put in lovely meditations after the yoga so everyone gets a chance just to lie down and be and it's always beautiful because of you know you can outside often outside you can hear the birds chirping and and the trees and the you know wind rustling in the sun and it's just such a lovely thing to be able to do. So we have those things too we tend to kind of have things in the morning lunch and then a break in the afternoon and then in the evening again depending on where you are if you're in a yoga retreat center which we are going to be this year for the one of the um second time they usually have something like a yoga area or a shala where you can do yoga or Pilates or stretch or you know lie down and do meditation or whatever in there. So we usually sort of um pop in there at about sort of early evening five ish, 530, 6ish, do something it'll always be a restorative quiet thing. So it'll either be you know nice long meditation or some lovely yoga stretching um just to bring people back in into themselves as well um so that's how we we sort of top and tail the day and then go have dinner afterwards.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

Oh it sounds fantastic. I mean in terms of the actual logistics would you recommend in if possible actually traveling to the location prior to booking it or have you taken a bit of a risk and seen something online and spoken to how do you go about actually deciding on the location yeah that's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 24:40

We've done both we've done both um gone to check them out and and see if they'd be right but these days the um there are retreat groups that you can join on Facebook and things um and there's a lot of people advertising their spaces of where you can go and that's how we found Sardinia actually was in this particular group. So I contacted the woman had a long chat to her and um she explained a lot about it and how it would work and sent us videos and photos and things like that. So I'd been to Sardinia myself so I knew the area and I kind of write okay I think we'll be okay with this one um because I I kind of know where we're going and know how far it is from the airport. Because every different place that you every place that you go to that you haven't been before um and every different it's all different they have different you know the things is different logistics to look at how far is the airport to the retreat place. So for example when we we used to always go to Turkey and it was about an hour and a half traveling so you have to make sure people know that the transfer from the airport to the resort is an hour and a half. So we didn't have a yoga shallow there we rented a villa in those in that place and we got caterers to come in and we went out for dinner quite a lot at night which our ladies loved because you know chance to dress up go into town have a nice meal glass of wine so we're not purist in that you um can't drink or anything like that on the on the retreats if people want to have wine with their meal absolutely fine we don't encourage wine and you know drinking in the afternoon sitting around the pool. That's one thing we don't you'd never get up again would you be like right that we'd never get up again we'd never get anything done.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

So we don't encourage that but we're happy for people to have wine with their meal should they want it you know yeah well say for some people if if you do decide you know if you are drinking then that is part of the whole experience anyway isn't it you know a glum I mean I don't I don't drink anymore but no absolutely and one thing you did mention then we were having our our pre-chat which listeners will know I always do that I mean obviously we've met several times before but in terms of a lot of my guests I haven't actually visited and it's nice to have the chat but in terms of rooms as well which I thought was really interesting we you talked about personal space and boundaries and if someone's looking like they're having a bit of me time let them um but twin rooms you say can be a bit of a problem well we don't usually do twin rooms we we would have we mainly do just because of what people want people don't want to share room because they want to go away and have that peace have that kind of um place that they can go in and close the door and you know not to have to share a bathroom not to have to share a room with a space with anyone so we felt we found that most of our ladies don't want to share we usually have one or two twins available they're always the hardest ones to to to sell except we do have a couple who have um who love a couple of girlfriends that I mean girls that are friends of of an age of a long time that love sharing together because then they can catch up and they can chat all night and you know and really have a great catch up because they live on in different parts of the country now.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

So that works well when you've got two like besties or sisters or something like that for twins.

SPEAKER_02 28:19

But typically we find that our ladies don't want to share and because of course the older you get the more you snore right well with me it would be getting up two or three or four times in the night as well to go for a wee i'd worry that I'd worry that I'd be waking up my fellow room sharer. Yeah that's a very pertinent thing as well after the loop after the loop snoring I mean do people expect ensuites or are this does it really depend on the venue I would have thought what's how the rooms are set out.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

Most of them have ensuites um some of them we do some of them have a we try to look for a sort of a jack and jill with bathroom in the middle two rooms on the other side so that people you know sometimes they'll have their own room but they'll share a bathroom and come in from you know from so from a different um room but uh and it's usually in the middle so it's it's not too bad.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

So yeah that that can work that works quite well I mean I mentioned in my intro about you know a blissful uh retreat in Bali but one thing that might be a pertinent for anyone thinking oh yes you know long haul obviously long haul brings with it the dreaded jet lag doesn't it and if you're going on a five six day retreat jet lag could well do away with quite a lot of that couldn't it you're absolutely right I mean I've always wanted to do a retreat in Bali I absolutely it's been my big thing and then suddenly I had this well was my experience of being in Thailand and then um the war breaking out and not being able to get back yeah um I thought well what if that happened that could anything could like that could happen and you've got responsible for you know a bunch of people that can't get back although people do have to book their own um flights we we're not uh I was gonna say so you just do the accommodation do you have to do special insurance as well as part of it yes yeah yeah absolutely and um so but if you've got you know if you've got people stranded there and that that could really that could completely ruin a retreat so it sort of made me think about it and also you're right the jet lag it takes a a long time to sort of you know to feel yourself again I was really jet lagged the first couple of days after flying to Thailand I was just really out of it most of the time so all those things do factor in and I think as you get older you don't bounce back as quickly as you used to those things didn't used to bother me but now you sort of think okay that's a factor so it is something yes something to think of so I don't think I I can't imagine it I may never say never but I I think I may have put the cobwash on that on going to Bali for a retreat. I might go on one yeah I might go on one well that's it go and try it out now obviously you know you're you're well established now in in the field of retreat so you've learnt the lessons but I'm guessing you're continuously trying new things or are you like no we've we've found this formula now we're sticking to it do you think there's room to not shake things up necessarily but intro I mean do you have the same people coming each time or how do you how do you let people know about it? So many questions so many questions.

SPEAKER_00 31:54

We have a formula that works and we do tend to stick to that um because it's it it works uh I suppose where that becomes different we do have a lot of people that come year after year and you do sort of think well I have actually had someone say to me oh you've you know I've be I've been on two of your retreats now I don't think I've possibly come on another one because you know you everything you do is the same so my my response to that is every time you do something you repeat something you learn something more you know the brain can't take everything in at the same time can it so the more you do it you always learn something different and you take away something different and you you always come at it with a slightly different perspective because that's that's what we are we're always evolving and changing and we can't you know we may see depending on the place we're in at this point we may see that aspect one year but we come along another year and go oh I didn't know that that's something new from that that I didn't take in the last time do you know what I mean? So I think every time you do something you have a different experience of it anyway. Yeah absolutely it's just having an open mind. It's having an open mind isn't it and just think well what new what new thing can I learn today?

SPEAKER_02 33:21

Do you know there are going to be women listening and perhaps some chaps as well that be going right right this is it I'm gonna 2026 is my year. Now we're gonna be sharing your contact details uh uh later in the episode as well but before we go into your three questions what what would be your your last bits of advice would you say if you fancy giving it a go for it yeah absolutely go for it don't expect to make money out of it in the first don't go with it that's interesting yeah of course don't go with the thought of I'm going to make X amount of money to add to my bottom line it's not about the money because um yes you need to cover your costs but uh you need to make it accessible I see some of these retreats that are at you know six thousand pounds for a week and you kind of think how do you actually justify that you know how can you we we're we're people that sort of we do a lot in our retreats we put a lot into it we do workshops and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 34:18

So but some people just do some yoga retreats are just like yoga in the morning yoga in the evening you had gorge walking and all sorts on one the last one I think or the one before that.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

We used to do that yes we used to do that we did have a gorge walking we're not doing that anymore but that was one of the things that we did do is boat trips and things and and and do it but it kind of depends where you go and how much the individuals charge for the boat trips you know and which country you're in because that all changes that all absolutely adds up and also it's different between every country especially now with fuel costs going up they're not going to be as cheap to run as they used to be no that that is the thing isn't it because you want you want to almost get make it the price I mean price setting is a nightmare anyway isn't it I mean they're but I would have thought make it attractive enough for people to want to come because that will feed their feedback and their enthusiasm is what you need to encourage people to come on the next one isn't it so if you get people that come and women wonderful women coming along having an amazing time and if they don't shut up about it if they can't wait to share how it's made them feel because it's all about how we feel isn't it whether it's a business retreat whether it's a yoga whatever whatever we're going for the the result that they gain the benefit they gain that's what will help you continue to run these isn't it absolutely you get great testimonials and yeah that's it.

SPEAKER_00 35:52

So I would say start off small not too big get some people there you'll learn some lessons but get the great testimonials as well and take it from there and then next time you might go actually might go bigger next time I might do you know I've learned this I've learned that and I won't do that again and we'll add this in let's try that lots of lots of things you can do you can really try.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

I I'm expecting now to see even more but but but more more focused and more curated and come on listeners let us know let us know but you say we're going to be giving your details how people can get in touch and find out more about your retreats in a little while but first if you're still sitting comfortably you're not going to escape your three questions that I ask each of my fabulous guests male and female so your first question is what is your midlife anthem the piece of musical song do you play it on your retreats that lights you up oh that's Katrina and the waves walking on sunshine it just if I'm having a bad day that song dancing in the kitchen love it oh that absolutely I don't think I might be wrong I might be wrong listeners you might prove me wrong I think you're the first to actually choose that song and the playlist is is on the cards I am doing this I am doing the books and everything's coming this year it's going to be a busy busy year.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

So second then that's my my my mantra of the day is it's gonna be a busy busy year your midlife mantra what's the phrase that you live your midlife by okay if you think you can do it you'll do it if you think you can't you won't and that's a that's a Henry Ford quote but I I love that one.

SPEAKER_02 37:36

It's so true though isn't it but yeah both are right it's literally about putting yourself in that place isn't it well now then does that link in with the third and final question for now what is the title of your autobiography I think it's the calm and the finding the calm in the storm because we all have storms in life yeah and it's how you get through them. No that's so true. That's so true. And I love thank you for sharing your journey with us because I I love how it's well crescendoed really into doing something really quite marvelous quite magical no thank you you're you're a more rather wonderful woman and any listen who who would like to connect with this rather wonderful woman how obviously all your details are on the contact um all your contact details are on the show notes for our episode and on the Midlife Unlimited podcast website where you've got your guest profile but could you talk us through how listeners can connect with you where you hang out your website and obviously what you've got coming up that they can find out more about okay well I'm on Instagram at Joe TokerHolistics um on Facebook as Joanna Tocker and LinkedIn as Joanna Tokka.

SPEAKER_00 38:57

My website is jocker.com and I have we have a couple of retreats this year the one in May in Sardinia which is fully booked but there's also another one on the 27th of December to the 3rd of October where we have one room left. So it's a can be 27th September did you say? Yeah 27th of September yeah um uh it's a twin room you can come with your bestie or if there's no bestie to come with and you just want to come on your own we'll do it as a as a single room.

SPEAKER_02 39:30

Oh fantastic well come on then viewers go and grab that room go and grab that room and well as for me I'd love your feedback on today's episode so it'd be fabulous if you could leave a review on not just today's episode on all of the episodes go and catch up on the back catalogue. You could email or text me via the link in the show notes. And if you head to the website you'll find details of my one-to-one and group coaching more so come find more about that. So thank you for joining me Joanna it's been an absolute pleasure. At last we've been trying to get this sorted out since I because you were here right at the beginning before the beginning but we've got you on now and I'm absolutely delighted. Thank you for listening. I look forward to you all tuning in next week because don't forget Midlife Unlimited has a new episode every Thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts. So here's to being fabulous and flourishing together and living midlife unlimited thanks Joanna it's been brilliant bye thank you bye