TABLE READ: What We're Getting Wrong About Surrender (Ch. 2)

Pull up a chair 🪑 for a provocative discussion about how we've misdefined surrender and the false belief system we've created around that definition. This episode is going to challenge how you define a fully surrendered life, how you view Jacob/Israel's faith, and even how you understand Jesus operating here on earth. You might want to add a buckle to your chair for this one.

Click "Send Us Fan Mail" now, and send us a voicemail with your thoughts on the following:

1. Where does the Bible teach us to "just start working or moving" without God's clear direction? (Put another way, if you don't hear God directing you to the next thing, does the Bible teach you to "push on any doors you find until one opens"?)

2. Why don't we stop and listen more? What excuses (justified or Christianized or otherwise) do we use to keep filling our calendars with doing rather than being?

As mentioned in this episode, here's the mind-opening discussion Gretchen and I had on As We Grow about the book Redeeming Your Timeline: BONUS EPISODE - Book Club: Redeeming Your Timeline by Troy Brewer.

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When I talk about surrender, I like to save this till the end of a chapter to kind of dangle a carrot of hope in front of you to keep you going and make you want to keep reading and keep striving for understanding surrender. But today I'm gonna do it a little bit backwards and I'm gonna dangle that hope for you right now, here at the beginning. You know, the Bible says in John 14, 27, and this is directly out of Jesus' mouth, he says, I am leaving you with a gift, peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. Who doesn't want peace of mind and heart? I think that's what we're all striving for, isn't it? So if that's what we all want, if that's what Jesus has promised us, why do we keep taking back control and refusing to surrender to Jesus' way so that we can get Jesus' gift of peace of mind and heart? Pull up a chair. Welcome back to the mentor's table. My name is Joy and I'm the host here at the table. And what this table is is a virtual place where we can gather and you as a listener can pull up a chair for deeper discussions about spiritual and emotional health with an uncomfortable focus on surrender. Today we're going to be talking about what is true surrender and why is it so important that we live our lives fully surrendered and not just partially when things get really hard. Now, before we move on any farther though, I always like to start things off by taking a moment for some silence and solitude. It allows us to still our minds and our hearts and get us to a place of focus and listening. I truly believe that it's not my words that are coming out in this podcast that are going to change your life, but God working through me, the Holy Spirit speaking through me. And it is important that we slow down enough and listen so that we don't miss what God is saying to you. So could you put your feet flat on the floor, open your hands, palms up in a posture of surrender, take a deep breath in through your nose and release it slowly. Let's do that one more time. Deep breath in and release it slowly. Lord, your word promises in Ephesians that we can pray for you to open the eyes of our heart and our understanding to know the hope you have called us to. And I pray now for all of those listening that you would open their eyes of their understanding to know the hope that you are calling them to in this practice of living a life completely surrendered to you. Let's be still for just a moment. Thank you, Lord. Holy Spirit, we welcome you here now. In Jesus' name. Amen. If you need to, go ahead and hit pause and take some more time, take some more deep breaths, and really allow your racing thoughts and your to-do list to settle down and to get pushed off to the side and focus your eyes back on God. We want to hear what God is telling us. I don't want any of you to miss that because you're multitasking or you're trying to cram this in, and maybe you're listening to this at 1.5 speed. I admit I do that to a lot of my podcasts. But I do believe that the invitation right now is for you to be present in this moment and listen, not only with your physical ears, but with the eyes of your understanding. I know listen and eyes don't work together, but do understand what I'm saying and really allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you. It might not be any of the words that I say in this podcast. That's great. It's not about me, anyways. It is about surrendering to God and listening and hearing what He has to say for your life. All right, for those of you who maybe did not catch the beginning of this table read series, I'm calling it Table Read because we're here gathered around this virtual table, the mentor's table, and read because just as actors would be reading through a script ahead of time to kind of get an idea of the story and the show that they are about to perform. This allows us a chance to read, quote unquote, through some of the chapters of the book that I'm working on and begin to discuss and really make sure that these different ideas land. The easiest way that you can become a part of this discussion is to go to the show notes wherever you listen to podcasts. The very first thing on those show notes is the word send us fan mail. It's underlined because it's a hyperlink. And if you click on that within moments, and it's not going to ask you for your information, it's not going to take a bunch of extra things from your time, but it is in a moment, a couple of clicks, going to give you a chance to leave us a voicemail. And when you do that, then we are able to hear physically hear your feedback as well as respond to it and possibly even use it on the pod. Um, I will, of course, get your permission, so don't feel like that. If you leave a voicemail, then I will use it without your permission. But I would love to hear from you. I have some really hard-hitting questions at the end of this that have to do with surrender, that have to do with your own life and why we justify not surrendering. And I really value your input on how that appears in your life. So please click send us fan mail, easy way to send us a voice memo. Today we're going to dig into chapter two of my book. And I might say this pretty often, but maybe this is my favorite chapter of the book. I am really going through kind of with a fine-tooth comb and reminding myself of the things that I wrote because I have taken such a long time to write this book. There's times that I have not revisited this information in weeks or even months before I come back to it. And as I was reading back through it to prepare for this episode, uh, it was really resonating with me. And I was like, oh, this is such a good one. Not to toot my own horn, but just to remember how potent and applicable this message is for us right now. In fact, I've actually, without reading this chapter, have already had the Holy Spirit stirring within me, and really a fire is probably a better description of what I've been feeling, but this fire burning inside of me to get this message out and to talk about it more with the people that I'm doing life with because I think it's really important and I think that it's valuable and I think that it's life-changing, and I'm seeing it more and more. You know, there's this thing with authors that feel a little bit of imposter syndrome, like, I don't know what I'm talking about. I shouldn't be the one giving this chapter. There's also a thing with writers that they put something out there or they're working on putting something out there, and then they hear on podcasts and on TV shows and on news features that somebody else is already writing a book that is the exact same or very similar topic to what they're writing, and the temptation is to just throw this whole thing away. I have heard from published authors that that is not your sign to stop writing the book. In fact, it is your sign to keep on going because you've hit something that's relevant. I have been taking that recently as my sign because I hear a lot of people talking about surrender and spiritual disciplines right now. That is my sign that this is what we're thinking about. This is what we are across the board being convicted about as followers of Jesus. And so it's the perfect time to lean into this and to add my voice to the conversation around the world's table talking about surrender. I've said this even as recently as probably the last episode and on my other podcast, As We Grow with Gretchen, I have said this a lot as well, but I keep finding myself saying it all goes back to surrender. I hear hints of that in what other people are saying or other people are teaching, and it strikes a chord because I think, oh, this is what I'm writing about in the book, but I'm fleshing it out even more as opposed to like a quick reference or a quick uh acknowledgement that I need to surrender more. What does that actually look like? How do I define surrender? What does more mean? Do I have, as I talk about in the book, spiritual muscle memory? You know that physical muscle memory means that something that you have practiced and you have done over and over and over and over so that when you go to do it again, the muscle memory allows you to do it without even really thinking about it. And I believe that we can get to the point of surrender where we can surrender everything, not just the big stuff or not just the little stuff, everything because we have practiced over and over and over so that we get to the point that we realize, oh, I just did that without even thinking about it. That's what I mean by spiritual muscle memory. So when I say it all goes back to surrender, I want to talk about that in a lot more depth than what you're gonna hear on other podcasts or in other books. I really believe that surrender is all about a connection with God. As you've heard me say on this pod as well as my other podcasts, I have just been in the last year really kind of peeling back the layers of what Jesus meant when he said, I say nothing except what I have heard my father already say. What kind of connection does that require to be able to only speak what you hear the father saying first? I believe that Jesus said that because he is our role model and he was here to show us what is possible for us. So if Jesus said it and Jesus did it, then that means that we can do the same thing and get to that same level in our own lives. And I don't say level in the sense that it's a competition, and if you work and toil hard enough, then you will be promoted to the next level because that is putting the emphasis again on us, it's putting it on our own works, what I do, and that is not surrender. So when I say that I can get to that level of connection that Jesus has with God, I don't mean by toil. I don't mean by my own works. I mean by continuing to allow him to increase my understanding that I can walk that out. I really believe that the connection that Jesus has with his Father God and had when he was here on the earth is way more layered than what we understand. The initial layer that I kind of pictured when I started thinking about this was that there was some sort of like cosmic or supernatural highway. Like I imagined it like this fiber optic chain of lights that goes from Jesus' mind to God's mind, and that there is like instant communication happening, even though there's a great distance that that highway um connects them with. I think that that was what I needed for understanding kind of the first level, that it is it defies space and time because it's not physically that far away as what I was picturing, but it is a connection, a connection that is only available if you spend time with one another. So I really began to understand that that connection is more about the time that Jesus spent. You know, the Bible says that Jesus often withdrew to lonely places, he often went to the wilderness to pray. There were many times that the disciples were looking around trying to find him, and he was spending time with his father. And I wonder, we talked about this a little bit on As We Grow, I'd highly recommend you go over and listen to that. I'll connect this in the show notes. It's under Redeeming Your Timeline, the book that we reviewed. But I also wonder, I often wonder, what did that look like? And how much time? And was it time spent just like, hey, how you doing? Making small talk, you know, kind of going back and forth. Was it time spent God just basically downloading to him, here's the next situation you're about to go in, here's what you're about to say, or was it Jesus spending time remembering? The word remember comes up over a thousand times in the Bible, which means it's very, very, very important. And perhaps Jesus was modeling that for us. Perhaps the time that he was spending with God alone was times that he was remembering God's goodness and he was remembering the good things that God did. I've started to take this connection to another level and started to play around with and wonder. I wonder if there was an element of God and Jesus weren't just spending time together, but there was an element of our understanding of the natural realm that we live in, and then Jesus' understanding of the supernatural realm that he came from. And I've heard people debate whether the word supernatural is really the appropriate word. I'm gonna use that right now just so that we can all kind of understand that I'm talking about the spiritual realm. But I wonder if the connection between the two was way thinner than, for lack of a better word, than what we understand. You know, the scene in The Lord of the Rings when Frodo has the ring on his finger, it kind of gets a little bit blurry on the edges. And while Frodo is able to kind of see that there are objects and people around him, he's also able to see in the spirit realm on some sort on some level, and he sees, I forget what they're called, but the dark-hooded horsemen that are coming and trying to take the ring from him, and they can only see him when he is wearing the ring, and he is kind of in both worlds. And I wonder at what level is it possible that Jesus operated in both worlds where he was able to not just see and understand what was going on physically around him, but was also accessed into the supernatural realm or the spiritual realm, so that God with him meant literal. He was hearing and seeing God and understanding and hearing his words at the same time that he was operating in the physical realm. I've heard this also described as being spiritual amphibians because an amphibian can both operate on the land and in the water. That's what they're known for, is their ability to adapt between two different environments. And for us spiritually, I believe that the next level, again, not that you can attain or strive for, but this next, this deeper connection that God is inviting us to could look along the lines of that amphibian that we see in front of us that can live and operate and thrive in both environments and not be completely shut down. So he can go the amphibian can go in the water and still keep breathing. That doesn't end its life and drown the amphibian. Similarly, unlike how a fish cannot go on land and continue living because they can't breathe without the water, an amphibian can go and operate on the land and continue breathing without the water. God is calling us, I believe, in this day, especially. God is calling us to live as amphibians. He's calling us to live in a connection that defies our understanding, similar to what I believe Jesus was operating in when he was here on the earth. We didn't see him seeing God or seeing the spiritual realm, but again, he was giving us clues. He said, I don't say anything that I don't hear my father say. How would that have been possible except that he was living in both dimensions or both realms at the same time? The way to get to that level of intimacy is counterintuitive. We live in an upside-down kingdom where God has created us in an upside-down kingdom where the things that make sense don't actually get us to the things that we are striving for. And so the Bible says, if you want to be first, you should go last. And I believe in this sense, he says, if you want to have greater connection with me, you gotta let everything go. In order to live a life where you and I are operating in the same realm, you have got to let go of all of your understanding and surrender completely to me. Recently, I've also been reading in Genesis the story of Joseph, but I've been focusing more instead of on Joseph, on Jacob, or who now is at times going by Israel at this point, he's already literally physically wrestled with God. I don't know that we really spend any time thinking about what that means for our God and what he is able to do, and that there is a physical component to him. But that aside, when you watch Jacob and you think, man, this this guy literally heard from God with his physical ears. This guy literally had his physical hands touching God and wrestled with him, which I just feel like, oh, that feels so uncomfortable to even consider because you're trying to get God, physical God, to submit under your own strength. Like that just seems so upside down and so wrong. But yet God made himself available and wrestled with Jacob. So he has all of these spiritual, supernatural, and physical encounters. And again, maybe that's a little bit of the amphibian showing up in Jacob. And now when Joseph is sold unbeknownst to Jacob to Egypt, he feels that and he is told a story by his sons that he was killed by a wild animal, and they bring the robe drenched in blood back to him. He feels I have lost one son. Then when the famine hits and he tells his sons, I heard there's food in Egypt. You gotta go to Egypt and get some food, but don't take Benjamin because he's too precious to me. I don't want him, I don't want any. Happening to him who you guys go again. I think, oh wow, I get it. I get where Jacob's coming from. But do you see that tendency to control that tendency to somehow control the narrative but also control the circumstances? Hey, if he's here, the chances are way lower that he's going to be harmed or taken away or eaten by a wild animal as he believed Joseph was. So I'm going to keep him here. I'm going to grip tighter on the thing that I love. And I'm going to try and control the situation even more so that what I want is the outcome that I can live with. He creeps back into that control even after physically encountering God. I I had this thought this morning. What if Jacob, like at the beginning of his story, spent time listening and talking to God? What if he had prayed and asked God, What happened to Joseph? What do you want me to do? I'm living out this promise that you gave to my father Abraham to multiply and fill the earth, that my descendants would be as numerous as the stars. In fact, God said that specifically to Jacob. So he has his own specific moment where that promise is passed on to him. And now he's looking at his offspring, very similar to what Abraham and Sarah were doing, and looking at their lack of offspring. And he's thinking, How do I make sure this promise gets fulfilled? The key emphasis is on the word I. How do I make sure this promise gets fulfilled? And so he looks at his 12 sons. He's already lost Joseph. It's from his favorite wife, Rachel, and he doesn't want that to happen again. And so he says, How can I make sure that at least Benjamin is able to be a part of fulfilling this promise that God has given to me? Control, control, control. And I just wonder, did he ever stop and pray and surrender it? Did he ask God? What's going on here? Should I send Benjamin with the others? Should I just send one of my sons? He does not make it clear at all. The Bible has no mention of Jacob at any point surrendering and praying, or of God talking to him and saying, Don't send this person, do send these boys, whatever the case may be. And I just wonder, is that because God wasn't talking to him and withholding information from him because of his sovereign knowledge that this was not going to be helpful for him and the way that the story was supposed to play out? Or was that because Jacob never stopped and listened? Jacob never asked. Was that because Jacob took the promise, decided how he could figure out it would be fulfilled? And then he just went solo from there. I find that really challenging because if I look at my own life, how many times do I go back to? Okay, I got my promise, I heard what you said, and now I'm gonna figure out how it works from here. I don't see any other way. Obviously, that's and this is how I will Christianize it. That is you giving me wisdom, Lord, to understand. I can look around and I can see my circumstances, and I can see that there's only one route to go, and that's the route that I need to go. And I don't consult with God, I don't take it back, I don't live as an amphibian and continue to develop that connection with God and take time to stop and listen. I just forge on. I got my promise. Here I go. I feel the Holy Spirit on this. None of this is actually even in chapter two of my book. Not none of it, but this the this concept and this idea, I believe, can be fleshed out even more. And I believe that God is opening my eyes to understand it at a deeper level. And I'm beginning to see it, not just I'm talking in chapter two, full disclosure, mainly about the disciple Peter. He's my favorite. If you listened to the podcast before, you know I call him my boy Peter. I get Peter. Peter makes all sorts of mistakes. Peter gives me hope because he keeps trying to control things, and Jesus doesn't give up on him. Jesus keeps going back. Jesus says to him, I'm calling you a rock because on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell cannot prevail against me. Peter is the one who denies knowing Jesus. Jesus looks him in the eyes as he is walking by. Peter could have spiraled in shame, and yet he showed back up again, and Jesus showed back up again for Peter. There's so many beautiful connections in Peter's life for what true surrender looks like, but really more about what hope we have that if we don't get it right, if we do venture off like Jacob does, and get back into the lane of trying to control our circumstances and living by what we can understand, God is not going to give up on us. There is all sorts of hope in the Bible that if we surrender, when we surrender, when we completely get our hands off the steering wheel of our life and let God do his thing, when we stop and we listen and we don't go forward until God says go and this is the way to go, that God will honor that. In the book, I talk about the verse from Psalm 127, verses 1 through 2, and I'm gonna read it for you first and then we'll talk about it a little bit. But the Bible says, unless the Lord builds the house, then those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city. The watchmen, that's their job, is to watch over. Stay awake in vain. It's in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for he gives to his beloved sleep. At some point in I'll just speak for myself. In my own Christian walk and what I have surrounded myself with and the teachings and the things that I have studied, I have created what I am now starting to believe is a false religion, that I am supposed to toil, wake up early, work hard, go to bed late, eating the bread of anxious toil. That is my call. That if I'm not doing that, that somehow I am lazy, if I look around and my life is quote unquote unproductive, I am out of the will of God. And I am understanding that is a truth that has been skewed just enough to get me completely off track. It sounds good, it feels good as a doer, as a type A, as a recovering perfectionist, man, that resonates so deeply in my soul that I need to always be eating the bread of anxious toil. I need to get up early, I need to go to bed late, I need to look around and see what needs to be done, and I need to do it. But here in the Bible, it tells us that unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. All of my laboring is in vain. It doesn't have the results that I can see and think it's supposed to have. Unless the Lord watches over the city, I think about Jacob in this one, and he's watching over his sons, and he's trying to figure out how that promise is supposed to be fulfilled, and he loves Benjamin extra. Imagine being one of the other sons who hears him say, he says at one point, okay, fine, take Benjamin, and if I lose him, then I my gray hairs will take me down to Sheol. Basically, I'm just gonna die and go to hell because I've lost all my kids. And they're like, Wait, all your kids? What about us? Don't we matter? There's ten more of us. Don't you think that God could use us to fulfill his promises? Why do why does everything rest on Benjamin? Why did it all rest on Joseph? I would imagine that to be very insulting to hear and painful. But again, the Bible says that unless the Lord watches over the city, unless he's watching over to protect, to make sure that no intruders get in, to make sure things do not go awry, those who are watching over it labor in vain. We stay awake in vain. When God is calling us to live a life of surrender, he is calling us to rest, to wait, to only move when he is calling us to move. I think that we have created a false promise that if we, and I've heard it said this way as well, if we don't hear from God, I guess just start pushing on all the doors that are in front of you, and then the one that opens up, that's the one that God wants you to go to. But sitting and waiting for direction from God to tell you which door is lazy. It is missing God's will on some level. And I don't know that anyone would say it as black and white as that, but I do believe that the element or the principle that is inherent in that statement is what we are operating under. We don't do well sitting still, we don't do well resting, we don't do well waiting, we do well filling our calendars with all the things. We may do well sitting in the sense of in front of a screen and numbing out, but that phrase wait on the Lord, wait shows up in the Bible over at least over a hundred times. It depends on the version of the Bible that you're reading. There is the element of God showing us, not telling us, by using repetition over and over and over again. And we've talked about this before that repetition is his way of underlining, bolding, and putting exclamation marks at the end of his statement. He's emphasizing how important that is. If rest or weight comes up over a hundred times in the Bible, God is putting an exclamation point on that. He's underlining it a hundred times. Wait on the Lord. Unless the Lord leads you, you're gonna labor in vain. You may feel pretty good about your labor. You may feel pretty good about what you're doing with your time, with your hands, with your knowledge. But unless the Lord is leading you, you're laboring in vain. And I have to think that for those who have, and I've heard this so often, and I've felt this in my own life and experienced it as well. I have been listening. I have stopped. I just don't feel like God is saying anything to me. I keep waiting and I don't hear anything from him. So I'm gonna do fill in the blank. I don't think that it is God not talking to you and expecting you to figure it out. I think that it is God talking to you and saying, wait. And he's not asking you to surrender based on your circumstances, he's not asking you to surrender and wait for him based on how you can see, okay, well, I can wait and this is gonna work out just fine. He's asking you to wait the end, period, full stop, to not go without him because those who toil and wake up early and go to bed late labor in vain unless the Lord, unless the Lord. Okay, I told you that at the end I'd give you some questions that you can click, send us fan mail, and leave us a voicemail. And here's what I'm wondering, and I would really love to hear from you. Do you think that or do you see in the Bible a place where I have misinterpreted scripture? And the Bible does say that I'm supposed to move on and labor without his clear direction. Do you see in the Bible an example of when Jesus or the disciples or anybody who is being led of God, especially in the New Testament, doesn't hear clear direction from God? And so they just start pushing on doors to see which one opens and uses that as their indication that they are supposed to go through there. Or do you see more examples of the only way to be led by God is to stop and listen in everything? I have grown up under teaching that basically has said that we don't want to over-spiritualize things. And so, does this mean that I have to like ask God which toothpaste I'm supposed to use before I buy a toothpaste? Is does that mean that any little decision, like, oh, should I have picked up that piece of paper or should I have left it on the table? I didn't ask God, so I don't know. And that line of thinking and that reasoning has been justification for us to only take a few things to God in prayer and wait for his direction. If we're living in both realms, like I believe Jesus was probably modeling for us, it doesn't matter. There isn't like an exchange of time where you're like, okay, God, should I do this? And then God says, Yes, you should do that, or no, you should not do that, do this instead. Instead, I think it's more like Frodo when he had the ring on. He could see what was going on on both sides at the same time. And so the the piece of paper, the toothpaste, the whatever, there's a spiritual realm, there's spiritual consequences, there's a spiritual connection to the decisions that you are making, every single decision, not just your toothpaste or where you're gonna go to school or what job you're gonna take or whatever. Every single element of our life has a connection to the spiritual realm. And when we are connected on such a deep level that we're living in both places, then those choices, like I said, are like muscle memory. It's because we know we're living surrendered to God, that God is in everything, and so we begin to look for him in everything and follow him in everything. What do you see in the Bible that confirms or denies this? I would love to hear from you, primarily because I do want to make sure that I don't have a blind spot that I'm missing. Also, I want to hear and speak to uh an argument or some sort of question that may come up and clarify, be able to clarify what I'm saying and not lead you in a misdirection that has nothing to do with what the Bible has to say. My second question is why do you think we don't stop more and listen? Why have we compartmentalized stopping and listening to a certain amount of time, to a certain time of the week? Maybe it's just at church, maybe it's not even during church because there isn't really time to like listen to the voice of God as much as, oh, well, I'm hearing from the worship leader and the pastor and the teachers and the people that are around me. So I don't have to stop and listen to what God is saying to me because He's speaking to me through all of these other people. There is an element of that it that is true as far as God is speaking to us through all different people. I'm not trying to deny that, but I'm wondering why did we stop personally just you and God, me and God spending time and listening? And where did we get off track? Where did we start to believe that if I don't hear him within a certain amount of time, then God is just telling me to try and figure it out on my own. Where did that creep in? Is that of God? Is that what the Bible tells us to do? These are hard questions, but I want you to wrestle with them. I want to hear your response. It might be messy. Your response might be messy, it might be full of pain or shame because there's some sort of conviction going on right now in your heart. And I just invite you to be brave and to share that. Not so that we can judge you, not so that we can somehow look down on you, but so that we can develop our empathy and our understanding and our compassion for how many what times this line of thinking has hurt somebody. Not just this abstract idea of, oh, that person got hurt because they followed a false religion, but a personal, compassionate, empathetic understanding where we almost feel it. Isn't that what empath empathy is all about? Where we can feel the pain in our own bodies because we hear of how that has hurt somebody personally. That is so important for you to add your voice to this table. Share with us how it is manifested in your own lives so that we can not only hug you and support you and encourage you, but also we can learn and the blinders can be taken off of our own eyes, that it really does not work out well to try and do this life on our own, to try and figure it out based on our own knowledge and understanding, to look to our circumstances and make our decision that the only, the only way to live our best life is in complete surrender to God, and it requires time, it requires remembering, it requires stopping, it requires more time and more time and more time, but it is possible. That's what Jesus modeled for us, and that's my heart's desire through this book is to draw and invite you into that. This is not only possible, this is the best way to live life. And here are the markers of when you may be getting off course and you may be thinking that this isn't a surrender issue. And you can kind of see that flag through reading this book, and you can go, oh wait, wait. Actually, that is a surrender issue. I gotta get back to God, I gotta spend my time with God. I'm not gonna be like Jacob controlling my circumstances, even after God physically manifests himself in front of me and gives me this great promise. I'm gonna keep going back to him. I'm gonna keep spending time with him, and I'm not gonna move until he tells me to. Okay, and then for my friends who are listening, a quick update when you hear this podcast, the graduation party will be done, and the graduation will just be in a few days if you're listening right when this episode drops. And even though that has not happened at the time of this recording, I gotta say that I am feeling excited and I am feeling hope that it's going to go really well. And honestly, I just watched a TikTok where they there was a mom who was like, you know, like I've seen videos like this before. Of when guests come over and moms go into that like crazy mode where like the house has to look absolutely perfect, there cannot be a stray anything. Uh, I feel the same way, and I'm definitely going into this graduation party with a little bit of that same energy of like everything needs to look perfect. Um, I can recognize in here that as I have just finished talking at length about surrendering, that I am jumping right back in with control. So this is something that God and I need to spend some more time on. But I am excited. I this time of graduating my our first daughter is such a great time to reflect. And it really forces you to think through um deeper aspects of our relationship of legacy, what kind of legacy have we laid as a foundation with our daughter? Um what seeds have we sown that we really believe that God is going to water and continue to cultivate in her life? This is so much more than what her GPA is or what school she gets into. This is more about the choices that she's going to make to live her life as a follower of Jesus. And when she faces something that she doesn't understand or that causes fear to creep up in her, or that she's not sure which way to go, what seeds are going to bring about fruit in those moments? Is she going to turn to God and make her choices based on his leadership, or is she going to look within to her own strength and reasoning and understanding and make choices based on that? I've got no control. This is such a good season to remember this idea that you have an ill that control is an illusion. As much as you want to, like Jacob, try to control where your kids go and who stays safe and what happens to the next one and how you think the promise is going to be fulfilled. Instead, this is a time to look around and realize, oh, that control was all an illusion. Unless the Lord builds this house, I'm laboring in vain. Unless the Lord builds my daughter, all that toil, anxious toil is in vain. It's not going to change the outcome. What's going to change for good and for my daughter to live her best life is surrender her future, surrender and continue to work on my connection with God as opposed to trying to manipulate her connection. It's a very humbling season and a difficult time to face your own inadequacies, but I think it's so good. And I'm really looking forward to there's been such a buildup to the party and the graduation ceremony and all the family that are coming. And I am looking forward to that, excited to have that celebration, and also I'm looking forward to the next step. Here we go. This is where the rubber meets the road, right? This is where we really launch her and surrender fully, something that God has given us to steward. Thank you so much for joining me here around the table. I really value hearing from you. So if you could just go to the show notes right now, click send us fan mail. The questions that I asked are written in the show notes. You can look right at them and then leave us a voicemail with your response. I would really appreciate it. Also, if you have not already, go to joyabod.com and sign up for my newsletter. At the very last day of every month, I send out a newsletter that is a very short, possibly two-minute read. It's got some extra encouragement in it for you. And it has a little bit of a summary of what we talked about here on the pod for the month. So if you haven't listened, instead of jumping into an hour-long episode, you can make sure that in your inbox at the end of every month, there's going to be a little bit of a summary in an email that tells you, oh, this is for me, or I need to spend my time someplace else. It makes it really easy to stay on top of what we're talking about, but also to recognize what where your time is best spent. And so sign up for my newsletter. One just came out a few days ago. And um, I don't want you to miss another one. So go to Joyabod, J-O-Y, A B as in boy, a d as in dog.com. Sign up for the newsletter, and then go to send us fan mail in the show notes and leave a voicemail. I'm excited to hear who's going to be the first one to leave us the voicemail. All right, I'll see you in a couple weeks.