Hey Me, Where Have You Been? Reclaiming Yourself with Amazon Best-Selling Author Deborah Liverett

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, Where did I go? How did I get here?

If you’ve ever felt lost in your own life—disconnected from your dreams, your purpose, or even yourself—this episode is for you.

In this episode, Amazon bestselling author, speaker, and life coach Deborah Liverett shares her journey of stepping away from corporate America to reclaim her truth. We dive into:

✅ The wake-up call—when she realized she could no longer stay in a life that didn’t fit.
✅ Breaking free from limiting beliefs—how fear keeps us small and how to shift your mindset.
✅ Rewriting your story—the power of personal choice and why your energy is everything.
✅ Making change feel less scary—small steps that lead to transformation.

Deborah’s story is proof that it’s never too late to find your way back to yourself.

🎧 Listen now and discover what’s possible when you trust yourself to take the next step.

Sponsor: MH Nutrition Coaching & Retreats

Ready to reclaim your health, reset your mindset, and thrive? MH Nutrition Coaching & Retreats offers science-backed coaching, wellness retreats, and sustainable mindset shifts.

Exclusive Gift for Listeners: Use code "A Fix" for a FREE 50-minute coaching session.

Visit maziehollenbaugh.com to learn more.

Connect with Deborah

📖 Grab her book: Hey Me, Where Have You Been? on Amazon
🌍 Website: deborahliverett.com
📲 Instagram: @deborahliverett

Beautiful Fix Rapid-Fire Round 

• What makes Deborah come alive? Grounding herself + deep conversations.
• Favorite book? The Four Agreements, A Course in Miracles, The Seat of the Soul.
• Favorite song? Anything by Luther Vandross.
• Favorite movie? Movies that touch all emotions—recently, Black Panther.
• Favorite quote? "Life must be lived forward but understood backward."
• Favorite place to reset? Her screened-in porch, surrounded by nature.
• Guilty pleasure? Dark chocolate with bacon (one square a day… unless it’s a tough day).

Want More?

Ready to feel more alive and aligned? Grab my free guide, Finding Your Beautiful Fix: Simple Shifts to Rediscovering Your Inner Power !

Sign up for Thought Gems at abeautifulfix.com—your weekly inspiration to help you reset, reconnect, and rediscover what’s possible.

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💬 Join the conversation on Instagram & Facebook @ABeautifulFix or find me on LinkedIn: Tracy Hill. Have a thought to share? Reach me directly at abeautifulfix.com.

🎙️ Know someone who should be a guest? Let’s chat! Reach out at Tracy@abeautifulfix.com.

Transcript

When we stay too long in discontentment and delusion, we feel like we have lost sight of ourselves. You don't know who you are or what you want. Couldn't name your desire if anyone asked you to. You're not even sure how to define what your purpose is and not certain why this pattern of living is repeating itself.

This is your "Hey Me, Where Have You Been?" moment. That quote is pulled straight from my next guest’s recent best-selling Amazon book, Hey Me, Where Have You Been? Deborah Liverett is an inspirational author and life coach who uses her corporate management, award-winning executive philanthropy experience, and a voracious appetite for learning to encourage people to examine and lean into their genius—to design and shine their best life. She has authored Bread and Butter: A Self-Directed Discovery to Your Desired Life, contributed to the Amazon best-selling Turning Point Moments Volume 2, and recently released a best-selling book, Hey Me, Where Have You Been?

Today, we’re diving into Hey Me, Where Have You Been? to discuss how the wisdom and insights from this book can help us reconnect with ourselves and embrace personal transformation.

Welcome, Deborah.

Thank you, Tracy. I'm so happy to be here.

I am so excited to have you on. I reached out to you shortly after reading—I think I was like at chapter two of your book—and it just resonated so deeply. I mean, just the title, Hey Me, Where Have You Been? You kind of put words to what I was feeling during my last decade of working in corporate America.

I felt incredibly seen reading this book. And I've highlighted it throughout. I have all these flags, and Deborah, here’s what’s really scary—I told myself, Tracy, you're going to flag three things that you want to talk about with Deborah. And, um, I mean, but that’s the way the book is. It’s just like everything. I was like, yes, yes, yes.

So, Deborah, take us back to your corporate America days. What sparked the shift in your career and what made you realize it was time for a new path?

Oh my goodness. So I had been in corporate America since college. My mother was a corporate America person, so it just seemed natural. And the last 25 years were spent at a financial institution here in Chicago. And I was watching the transformation of the company. When I got there, it was very much collaborative. We worked together for the good of the client. Things moved, and we had our ripples, but things were moving, and everybody felt seen and heard.

And then there became a corporate America shift. It wasn’t just in banking. It was everywhere. We have to slash people’s salaries. We have to lay people off. That became a regular thing. And so then I watched management start to change the way that they would interact with their employees. It was much more like, "We got to get it done, get it done, get it done." You have to work over your holiday or on vacation, those kinds of things. Talk about not being seen.

And so here I am—I call myself an inspirational alchemist because I can see what people are feeling, right? I can sense it and see it. So I’m helping everybody else’s employees try to put some perspective to this so that they can get up in the morning and come to work. They would get up and come to work, but they weren’t showing up.

Yes, absolutely.

It’s just hard to show up when life is constantly beating you down. In fact, I just got a message about three days ago from a young woman who came to my book launch back in November, and she said, "I forgot how much I missed you because you saw me and you encouraged me." And now she’s a manager of a very large team. But clearly, nobody’s back there helping her yet. That’s okay. We’ve reconnected.

Deborah, this was someone you had coached?

Oh, wow.

At work, because I was doing it all the time just to help people try to wake up with some joy about coming in.

Yeah.

So I have been doing this work forever. It just was natural and innate in me. And so you don’t fight it, you use it. I consider it one of my soul’s goals, so I use it all the time.

And so that led you to the path that you are on now.

It did. Well, I would say at 14—it’s in the book—I had an ulcer, and most 14-year-olds just don’t get ulcers, right?

Right.

Clearly, I was in some kind of turmoil trying to please the people around me. My parents had separated. My father had disappeared. My grandfather passed by the time I was 12. And so I’m trying to protect and get the love that I’m looking for, even though my dad, who totally adored me, was gone. And so I’m people-pleasing, like, "Whatever the older people say, I’m going to do," because I want to be protected, I want to be loved.

And that was the best thing that ever happened to me because it put me on the journey of figuring out, what do I need to do differently? That’s when I got my first transformational book. It was written by Wayne Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones. I devoured it. I did all of the exercises in it, and the ulcer went away.

Really?

Yes. So, and I don't have a particularly, um, timid stomach, so it really went away. Yeah. So that's how this all started really. Well, I love it. And it brings me to my next point of in your book, you talk about personal power and choice. And on page 24, I wanted to read the quote, you determine the energy you swirl in—no one else. This is when personal choice becomes your power. Your word choice—I just fell in love with because energy is everything. I'm learning that more and more. And the energy of the environment that you're in, it really impacts you. But the word choice of the word swirl, I thought, was powerful because I want to swirl in beautiful energy. You know, I want to get caught up in that because once you get in it, you get in that state of flow, and more just comes to you. But you can also swirl in negativity and darkness. If I were to walk in and turn the news on, within two minutes, I would be swirling in negativity. My mind, it doesn’t stop. My husband can hear the bad news and be like, "Oh, that's unfortunate," and move on. For me, I'm there. So I stopped, but you have a choice. I made a choice to listen, to turn on the news. I really protect my environment now. So when I read that, I just thought that was powerful.

So how did you come to realize that you had the power to shift your energy?

Well, I guess. I mean, you realize that as you were saying, having an ulcer at such an early age, and then you read the book and—yeah, that’s—and the work never stops. So like you, I choose not to listen to the news. I’m an empathic person. So I feel what people are going through. As soon as the news comes on, I press mute so I can get to another channel because it doesn’t serve me.

But let me say this. The news has changed dramatically. What they’ve done is a lot of work on the brain, understanding the brain. And what they know is that as soon as it hears something bad, it engages—because we’re all about protecting ourselves. So if you listen to their lead-ins, they are designed to grab you so you don’t walk away and don’t turn it off. But that’s because you’re not in charge of your own energy power.

Right. And I’m that way as well. I’m in charge of it by turning it off. Some people are in charge of it, like your husband, by watching it and not letting it in. All of us aren’t built the same, so you have to do what works for you.

Absolutely. I call it going on a content diet. I really try to choose. I used to love scary movies. It was one of my favorite genres. My husband can’t stand scary movies, but I don’t know why—I just love them. I don’t like anything violent, but I liked a good ghost story. I don’t even do that anymore because I really think about it like: What is the energy of this content that I’m getting ready to consume? And it affects our nervous system. Oh, so that’s why we have to make those different choices for ourselves. But you have to know yourself in order to be able to take care of yourself.

Well, that brings me to another one of your gems, page 25. You cannot solve a personal problem at the level of thinking that you used when the problem was created. What does it mean to you that we must shift our mindset in order to solve our problems? So you'll notice in the book, I called it mind shifts. Yes. Because mindset has been used and it, it, and it makes it sound like it is in this box and there's. Not anything you can do about it. So that's why I chose mind shift, because once you know what is poking at you, then you, you get to shift into, I'm going to embrace it. I'm going to acknowledge it. And then I can let it go. Or I can let it elevate me into something better. You get to make the choice with a mind shift. So that's what that's what I'm talking about throughout the book, you can shift you have that innate power to do it because most of us get our mind set. Based on how we grew up, what our teachers said in corporate America, whatever the CEO says, right? Whatever the government says, we buy into it. Our country was built on that philosophy, right? So it's natural that we would think, Oh, the answers are out there. They're never out there. They're in here. Oh, absolutely. What is for you was put in you by, I'll call him the great creator. I call it God. God is my source. That's, that is one of the foundational tenets that I stand on. If you can believe in something greater than yourself, you can lean into that when you don't think you have the strength. And then that's where your resilience comes because it's like he, he made me perfect. It's the outside world that has nudged that away. So I say you go in, you believe in something deeper than yourself that you can lean into and watch how your mind then opens up and shifts to where you need it to be so that you can be your best self. You go in and you believe in something bigger than yourself. If you take away nothing else, just that, because, I, I was doing the same thing. I was looking for answers anyplace else, but I had lost the trust in myself because I didn't recognize myself. Too much anymore. So I started looking in books and other people and courses and just every place but within. And it wasn't until I got still, really got still and started to just do the work that I realized that the answers, they started to show up. They were always there, but they were just completely muddled and hidden. Now that is perfect. That works for you. There are a lot of people that can't figure it out that they it's in there, but they just can't hear it right. They can't separate it. How many people do you know who say one of two things? Well, my mom said, and so they follow that or they say, If he would just change, I could be happy, right? That's putting it back out there because they haven't, they don't even know how to start. Most of the people I work with, they don't even know how to start to look inward because they've taken it from external beliefs for so long. Right. And then when you do that, you're completely absolving yourself of any power that you have and you're becoming a victim. And it's, it's almost easier to say that, well, I'm like this or my life is like this because of this or that or this person. I did the same thing and some people don't like to really hear that they're creating their own reality. And I understand that you look at your life and you think there's no way I signed up for this, but I like to flip it and look at it like it's power. If you created this, if you can just. Sit with that for a little bit. Entertain it. Then you can also change it. Yes, I agree. A hundred percent. I talk about that in the book as well. You might, it's not popular to say you created the life, but that life is trying to teach you something. That's right. If you can learn that lesson, then you don't have to be so bogged down by the mistakes that you think you've made. Those mistakes, you can magnify them and then be stuck, or you can examine them and say, Oh, I can walk this way now out of it, right? But it takes work. And I will also say the, for the people who don't have a clue how to sit still, how to work with themselves, when you find somebody that you respect, who is, um, I call myself a safe place. To be for other people, nonjudgmental, and who has made some life strides. They can be a therapist, they can be a coach, they can be all kinds of people. But they have to have a good heart. Meaning not trying to tell you you have to, it's prescriptive and you have to do this, this and this, but rather who will listen, ask you thoughtful questions to help you eradicate the things you don't need. yes. And if you're listening and you're thinking, I'm one of those people, I don't know where to start. Know that you are starting. The moment you even hear yourself say that that is that is the start because I think I know I can't speak for everyone, but I definitely was there. I was at a point where I had no answers, no matter how much I was looking for them. I didn't know, but that's okay. This is a journey and you start by just recognizing I don't really know where to start and how do I get still? I started to get still in several ways. One was through meditation, which I tried that for years my mind doesn't stop. It's okay. Your mind is going to do what your mind does. It does not mean that's one of the biggest misconceptions, but just try to sit for a minute and maybe focus on your breath. Start there. If you can't. Do that, um, insight timer. You can listen to a guided meditation where you're listening to someone else and it starts to, ground you. Go outside and listen to birds, but just start trying to quiet the noise, the outside noise. There's many different forms. You can go on a walk, but just try to start getting still. Totally agree. So I want to move on to my friend fear. Yes, you talk about fear in the book, and its role in limiting us. There's a quote on page 91, where you say, I'm talking about the fear we adopt to make ourselves smaller. Now that kind of stopped me and my tracks because I've always seen fear. I actually named the voice that's in my head, Mr. No. Because it's right there in his name. He's, his job is to tell me no. And I've always looked at it like he's just trying to keep me safe. But he can, go have a seat. When you think of fear as trying to keep you safe, it almost sounds like, Oh, that's nice. It's trying to keep me safe. But when you think of it in terms of, it's trying to make me smaller, that makes me really want to buck the system . So, I thought that was a powerful way to think of it. I don't think anyone wants to get smaller. How would you suggest women identify those fears that limit them and learn to move past them. So I'll start with fear is a voice in our heads that we hear. Some people call it the critic. Some people call it the ego, right? And it's, and its premise is I'm going to keep you safe, so we're not going to try anything new. That's why we're small, right? Right. Right. And, and so it's understanding that that voice is Your fear trying to keep you safe, but you can't be safe if you don't try anything, right? So fear, you need fear. You need to know, don't cross the street when a car is coming, right? Because you're afraid you'll get hit. We need it, but we have allowed it to take over. When we listen to the critic all the time. You have to have courage to not listen to it so that you can be a bigger presence in your own life. and then in the lives around you. Absolutely. I have a sign on our door leading out to our garage. I've had it since my sons, were just little. It just says, life is on the other side of your comfort zone. And it was really a reminder for myself, but I wanted them to understand that as well because life really is on the other side. Fear is like you said, it's like, Hey, let's just do what we did yesterday. Like that was great. It worked out. But that's not, that's not living. And the best part of life is when you feel that little fear and you do it anyway. And you realize, Oh my God, life is so much brighter than I thought. Right? Yes. Yes. Yes, exactly. So when you're on the other side and you realize that was wonderful, I'm so glad I did not listen to that little voice. You start to realize that that little voice does not always have your best interest and that sometimes, you know, you need to push past it. Yes. And also about the voice, understand, is it truly your voice or is it something you heard growing up? Because we take that as gospel. Or I know people who, um, their families were modest, they had modest means, and now they're doing extremely well, this one person in the family. And the family has a hard time with it because it has ruined their ecosystem, right? That says, no, no, we have modest living, not that extravagant. And we'll actually try to make that person feel bad. When really it's their own stuff, their own critic that's making them feel bad, if that makes sense. Absolutely. I mean, when someone pushes past the boundaries that you have set for yourself, that you've told yourself are absolute, it's, it makes you have to question everything. That's not a comfortable place to be in. Exactly right. One of the things that you talked about in the book is that you are the author and editor of your life. Absolutely. If, if your life is not working for you, stop the story you were telling yourself. So it's the same thing of what you just said, they have probably told themselves a story of this is how life is and then all of a sudden someone in , their family exceeds that. I loved this so much because, I was part of a program once where they talked about this. They talked about how we create so much suffering because we tell ourselves these stories. They called it a racket. So if I were to walk outside right now and someone came up to me and slapped me in my face. I would come back inside and I'd have a whole story behind it. I walked outside, this crazy person came up to me, they slapped me, they clearly had a problem with me. But no, what happened was, I walked outside. A stranger came up to me and slapped me. That's it. The story stops there. The rest, I'm making it up. 

Because we don't know the content. That's why I feel for the people who see a news clip, and then they go in and villainize a person, or are you're watching tick tock or something and you're like, that's horrible, but you don't know what happened before, and you don't know what happened after, but you made the judgment so giving up judgment without context is very important as well.

So we don't know if, let's say we're outside and someone slaps us. We don't know if they, um, are mentally ill. We don't know if they have been abused and they, that, and so they're carrying that pattern. You don't know what's behind it. And, and the, I call them narratives. They're stories that we tell ourselves.

And again, it's designed to protect us, but it limits us. It's the ego limiting us again. So you have to understand where people come from. So for example, I have a ton of girlfriends who have mothers who are very domineering. I, you're my daughter. You need to do this. And I don't care how old they are.

That's the way it's right. And it is all about the mom and that role. And what I say to people is. You can be a daughter without being a martyr because if another person doesn't understand their role, that's not on you. So if you have a parent that's beating you down or a boss that's beating you down, you don't have to take it in.

Because they don't know how to be a compassionate person, but we do, don't we? We typically are like, Oh my God, and I'm nervous. I'm going to lose my job. And where's the money going to come from? I have to feed my family. They're preying on that. That's right. And that's not, and it's not right. It's not right.

So what would you suggest to someone of how to take ownership of that narrative? Yeah, so I say you get very clear. I know clearly how I feel, what I'm thinking. I give myself that ability. I know that I know what's best for me, not what everybody else knows. You let go of guilt. I'll tell you a story about guilt.

My, um, I'm probably 30 years old. I'm meeting a new doctor for the first time. And he says to me, when I turned 50, I gave up guilt. I was like, well, how did you do that? And he said, well, I just decided I'm not going to fall for it anymore. I walked out of there and I thought, well, now why would I wait till 50?

I'm going to start now at 30. And people have to get in line when your energy shifts, when you make up your mind, they get in line. It's this. It's energy is key. That is the key. Understanding your energy, what it's attracting and what it's repelling. Every person who is saying, I have been looking for X and not getting it.

It's because they're telling themselves an energetic story that propels it. It pushes it away. They don't even see that it's standing there. He's talking to a woman who, um, I'll tell him myself. Um, I walked down the street and people are walking with me said, we'll say, did you see that man looking at you?

And I'm like, what man? I didn't see any man. It's because I'm not focused on attracting a man. Right. And in that scenario. So It's not conscious. It's just an unconscious thing. That's why you have to go in and examine what's happening. And what am I thinking? And if I'm not thinking, what do I want to start thinking?

Yes. Choose your, choose your thoughts, choose your thoughts. Were you successful with saying, I'm going to give up guilt? Absolutely. Oh, yes. And it has been the best part of my life. I do not take it on because another person's idea of who, who I am may have nothing to do with who my soul's goal has me here to be.

So what I, I'll say my own mother, I said to her one day, I realize God is a lot smarter than me. So that's what I'm listening for. That small whisper that he gives me, not what the world is telling me I need to be doing at this moment. Hard to argue with that. Yes. It's hard to argue, right? It is, because I'm just thinking guilt is like, that is my thing.

Like, I can do guilt like no other. I'm like, I'm like an Olympic style feeling guilty person. I, oh my gosh. That's, that's something I'm going to take on. That's it. I'm not, no more, no more guilt. I'm not going to, I'm just not going to do it.

Right. Because it, does it serve you in any positive way? No, no. And why keep doing it? Why keep doing it? That's, that's an excellent point. I'm glad you framed it that way because that's how I stopped worrying for the most part, you know. Um, I used to be a huge worrier and then I realized it's not helping anything.

I think I thought like this is the adult version of Tracy. It shows how responsible I am. Look at how I'm worrying. . But then it's like, but that's not helping. It's not helping me come up with a solution. It's not changing the outcome. It's not doing anything. So what if I just didn't worry?

And I just got to it and that made me stop, or at least ease up on the amount of worrying. So now I'm going to try the same logic with, with feeling guilty. It's just like we talked about a little bit earlier. You cannot solve the problem based on where It started. Yes. I'm a student of a course in miracles and miracles are happening all the time.

Right. But you have to key into that, and they can't happen if we are layering down our energy by worrying right by, by procrastinating, those kinds of things don't help the energy to rise. I agree. And sometimes I think even when you're in those lower energetic states, they may be trying to get your attention or miracles may be trying to show up, but you can't even notice it because you're in such a low place.

Whereas when I'm really feeling great and high, I noticed everything. I noticed the bird in my window. So I noticed all kinds of things. Now that could have still been happening, but I just couldn't see it before. Well, all right, moving to, um, change, embracing change. You have a quote on page 139.

Change feels uncomfortable because it's unfamiliar territory. Living with internal dissatisfaction is also uncomfortable and grows to being unbearable. Deborah, you're just so good. We could just unpack that a little bit because we talked about this a little bit earlier. Yes, change feels uncomfortable.

Me doing a podcast, this is fairly new for me. And when I thought about, you know, oh, I've got this podcast with Deborah, you do start getting the nerves. It's something different. It's a different kind of day. It's, it's changed and it's uncomfortable. But Living with internal dissatisfaction is beyond uncomfortable, and I think that is part of where my struggle was, um, during my, that kind of last decade of corporate America was I was just internally dissatisfied, and that was more uncomfortable than any other form of, change .

And it grew to be unbearable. And did it, and you were able to stay in it for 10 years. Did I understand that right? For 10 years. Yes. And we make excuses and we tell ourselves these stories, well, my boys have to eat. I have to do this. We got it. We need a new car. We need a new furnace. Yeah. But if we can see that change can probably allow us to do all of those things.

But we have to not fear it. That's where fear comes in again, right? It holds us back and it's like, yep, get an ulcer, feel uncomfortable, be unhappy, but everything is status quo. It's not because that's not what we were born to be. We were born to shine. We were born to let our inner genius come out. That's what we were born to do that takes trust that takes some falling down, but you get back up.

That's the resilience part, you have to get back up to deal with change. I don't, I studied a long time ago. Why people are so afraid of change. I don't remember the science behind it anymore because I would say to my employees when, when a system would change and they would be so panicked. And I'm like, well, we learned the first one.

Why can't you learn the second one? Right? It's like, what are you telling yourself? And if you're uncomfortable, you know, you're learning. Right. So learn something new, as opposed to uncomfortable learning how to deal with the uncomfortable. That would be my advice there. And also, you recognize that when you're feeling that uncomfortableness, there's a message there.

I spent those 10 years, first of all, it wasn't the job. It wasn't where I worked. It wasn't my manager. It wasn't my colleagues. It wasn't any of those things. But if I had just listened a little bit more to that inner dialogue, that inner dissatisfaction, to quote you, I could have, done something much sooner.

I didn't have to go those 10 years feeling the way I did. I could have changed my mindset because it wasn't the job. It was me. It was my mindset. It was the energy that I was bringing to this space at this time of my life. I had convinced myself that I was supposed to be doing something different and whatever .

If I had just listened to that dissatisfaction a little bit more and Took action a little bit sooner. Yeah. I wouldn't have had to go the full 10 years, but, right. Yeah. But you're not alone. There are so many people who are afraid of change. They believe the, the negative connotation that, but it could be the boogeyman out there.

and, and again, it's all up here 'cause we create our lives. Mm-hmm. Nobody wants to believe that, but it is absolutely true. We create our lives. I think about, I was. I was 12, always wanting to write. I mean, and wrote really bad poetry, really bad, but that's okay. I was still doing it. I've had journals forever.

And when I, um, I went to college freshman year, freshman English. I wrote a story and the instructor wrote best metaphor I've ever read. And it was about a spider. That's all I remember. But the thought that came to me was I want to write because I want to feel this way. I got married. And I thought, Oh, I can't be a writer because I have to take care of my husband.

I had two sons. Oh, I can't. I'm a mom. I can't. But I had women in my life, people who, who believed in me, and they would give me pens for for gifts, they would give me journals, just write when you can keep writing because One friend, I'm going to actually call her after this because I just remembered it.

She said to me, I believe you have a bestseller in you. And I thought she's crazy. And now I have to, so I'm going back to surround yourself with people who also believe in you when you can't believe in yourself, but you have to take the steps. There's no getting around that part. And Deborah, am I making this up or wasn't there something in the book where at one point someone told you something about your writing style or something?

Yes. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about, about that. So, uh, it was, let's see, first job out of college and I'm trying to protect the innocent and not so innocent. Manager who was the first woman to be promoted to higher levels. And I don't believe she had a degree. So I come along and she's like, I'm going to help this little.

Girl probably is how I came across and, um, and she didn't like my writing. She didn't like the style of my writing. She didn't think it was corporate enough. Now I'm brand new, but she didn't care for it. So she would belittle it. She would take it away and say, I'll just do it myself to help keep me in my place.

of gratitude to her, right, for taking me in on this, um, job. And then she ended up saying, um, I'm gonna hire somebody to do writing because you can't. And I believed her. Sure. I believed her for a very long time. I got myself out of that department and into another department. Fast forward, um, I don't even know how many years, I would probably say 15, 20 years.

I'm working for a woman. I write a proposal to get money funding for a, a new project that I wanted to do. She gave it back to me. It had red marks everywhere. And I was like, it's happening again. Maybe they're right. Maybe I can't do this. And I cried. I went and my, my two corporate friends were like, girl, no, that's not what she's saying.

It's going to be all right. And I was like, I can't take it. I go home. I sit with it. Back to what we talked about before, you have to be able to look at your stuff. Yes. And my stuff was, I chose to believe. Them and the critics and not my inner voice that said, it's your soul's goal to write. And so here I am.

And so here I am today with three books, right? Two of them who made bestseller, the last one made bestseller in five categories. You can't dream that up, right? I certainly hadn't. Let me say that to you. I had, I'm like, how is that even possible? I don't even know. So what I've done is I, um, sent a Christmas card to the boss who did all of the red writing.

Oh, and let me say, I went home, cleaned it all up, the manager, and I'm talking like EVP, executive vice president, said to me, best proposal I have ever seen. Yes, you can have the money. I shifted. I shifted. Yes. And I did, kept doing the work, right? Mm-hmm . And now, so I've mailed her a Christmas card in the book and a and to tell her, find yourself in the book.

I'm not, I was gonna tell her the page, and I was like, no, find yourself in the book. So, because she was, she did it because she cared about me, because she wanted me to be better. Oh. Oh. So wait. That's the difference. Oh, hold on, Deborah. Wait. You made me lose my, I got so excited. I lost, lost my AirPods. Hold on.

So you sent the copy of the book to the woman who helped you, who refined your, okay. I thought this was a rare moment. I thought you sent the book to the first man. Okay. Good. Good. Good. I don't need to do anything like that. No, I want her to know how she helped me.

I love it. I love it. Goodness of her heart. Yes. Yes. She just wanted me to be better. That's the difference. You put yourself in places where people see your light and want you to be better. And not try to dim that light. That's, that's, that's beautiful. Because you do want to protect yourself and who you are around and words that are said to you.

But it's, it's key to know sometimes someone who truly has your best interest in mind may be telling you something you don't want to hear at the moment. But it is in your best interest. Because it's also not love when you just tell people what they think they want to hear. And I explain that to my sons all the time.

Sometimes I'm going to have to tell you the thing that only a mom can tell you because I love you and I can see you and I know what's best. Well, I don't know what's best for you. I'm not trying to, but you know, it's not always telling you what's best for them. I want, thank you. I want what's best for them.

And sometimes it's not saying yes to this thing or telling you. You know, so it's beautiful that you were able to first, it kind of triggered that fear of, Oh gosh, here we go again. It's, it's my, it's my writing. Maybe she's right. And then you were able to sit still and say, wait a minute, maybe, maybe there's something to these critiques and she's just strengthening my writing.

That's beautiful. That's why when you do something that you, that is a change and it's uncomfortable, you keep at it because then it becomes easier, right? Yes. And as I tell myself that, I have to remember that with electronics, because I'm always like, oh man, I don't know how to do this. I'm going to remind myself of that.

Exactly. Well, Deborah, do you have any final words of wisdom that you would say to someone out there who's listening, who maybe, maybe is at the beginning of their journey? Maybe They're connecting with some of the things that we've talked about today, and um, what, what might be their next step?

What would you, besides going out and getting your book, Hey Me, Where Have You Been? Well, thank you for saying that. What, what else would you recommend? So, some people are journalers, and if you are, start writing. Start writing to the person you want to be. That would be one exercise that you could do so that you could get to know that person and create that person, right?

Yes, also, I think I said this earlier But it bears repeating get to know people who are doing what you want to do So that you can see it's doable that they didn't they didn't they may not have come here with a silver spoon in their mouth Right. They, they had to work for it. And I'm, and don't take on, Oh, I have to do it their way because your way is your way.

That's what was put inside you. That's your soul's goal. You do it your way, but it doesn't hurt to listen, to exchange, to, to share yourself and. The last thing I would say on that is you have to have, I've said this before, the courage to do that uncomfortable thing. And that's okay. It, you can go as slow and as small as you want, but you do not stop.

You must keep growing. And then they can call me if they want to hear more. I'll put, I'll, I'll put myself out there. Although I don't deal with everybody. I deal with a small group of people. So, but I'm happy to listen and try to help. Wherever I can. I love it. I love it. Thank you. And we'll make sure that everyone has all of your information where they can find you.

But, um, Deborah, before we wrap up, let's just have a little fun with a speed round of beautiful fixed questions. All right. Are you ready? Okay. What makes you come alive?

It starts with me grounding myself. So that means making sure that my head, my heart, and what I call the first chakra, my home, are all aligned, right? So those are breathing exercises. And then when I can have engaging conversations with other people, I'm alive. I know I'm alive, right? I can feel your energy even through zoom and we are connecting, right?

We're going back and forth. I'm alive when that happens because again, I'm in purpose. That's my soul's goal is to be in connection with people. I love it. Favorite song, anything by Luther Vandross. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. I know this is supposed to be a speed round, but just really, really quickly, Debra, the other day I was in the car with my 18 year old son and he was like, mom, can I play you the song?

And I was like, absolutely. He turns it on and it's Luther. And I was so just proud, a proud mama moment. I was like, yes. And then seconds later, someone started rapping and something else. And I realized, oh my God, it was just a sample of Luther. It's okay. I Almost crashed my car. I was like, Landon, Landon, hold on, hold on.

I was like, you That's sacrilegious. You don't, you don't turn off Luther right? You, you cannot. We just had a whole generational gap where he was like, Mom, you just don't get it. I was like, I do not. That, that hurt my heart. Cause you know, he starts singing to you and you're just there. And then all of a sudden it was, anyway, I'm sorry.

No, I love it. I love it. Was it so amazing? Because if I had to pick one, I'd pick that one, but they're all my favorite. You know what? It might have been, it might have been I, yeah, I can't choose a favorite Luther song. It, that's why I said to you, any Luther song. It's any Luther song. If only for one, if only for one night, I think is the one of my.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. So getting back to my speed round, um, I'm sorry, no, that was my favorite book. Ooh. Okay. This is. I can't give you one. I told you I'm a student of A Course in Miracles. I do something with A Course in Miracles just about every day of the year. So that would be high on the list, but there are two others that I will share with your audience because they are game changers as well.

One is called The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav and it is, um, it's probably 25, 30 years old, but it is grounded in understanding spirit and yourself. So that was one of my, like, go to's. I read it every year. Because it just, like, yes, this is what I, I also believe and so I can live out that. And then the third one that I read annually, but, um, typically around my birthday or if somebody has really gotten into my head and I need to come back to myself.

And that one's called The Four Agreements. And it's by Don Miguel Ruiz Yeah. Don Miguel Ruiz. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is a game changer. What are the four? If anybody's asking, what are the four agreements? Let's see if I can get them. Be impeccable with your word. Yes. Um, don't make assumptions, right?

Always do your best. Yes. I always forget the fourth one. Don't take anything personally. Don't take anything personally. Yes. Yes. Yes. Those are my, those are my three favorites. See, I knew I loved you. It is absolutely one of my favorite books. I read it every couple of years. Those sounds so simple, but they can be really challenging.

Just don't take it personally. That could be a whole nother podcast episode. Just don't take it personally. And Don Miguel Ruiz, I just came back from a retreat not too long ago, where, , It was, , in Teotihuacan, Mexico, and the retreat leaders all studied under, under Don Miguel Ruiz, so it was powerful, and it was, it was so good.

If it happens again, you have to call me. Okay, I will. I will go. I will go. Oh my gosh. It was transformational. Yes. Yes. Okay. Next question. Okay. Next question. Sorry. Uh, let's see. Favorite movie.

So I can't give you a favorite movie because it changes at different stages in my life. Fair. Yeah. But I, but I've figured out what the key ingredient is to become a favorite. It has to touch all my emotions. It has to make me laugh. It has to make me cry. It has to make me lean in. It has to make me see myself.

Right. I have to be able to see other people in it. So, um, so when I was married and, um, and contemplating not being married out of Africa was one of my favorites. When I was because it was about loving someone enough to let them be free to be who they needed to be. Not an easy thing to do but beautiful when it's done.

That was Meryl, Meryl Streep. Yes, it was and Robert Redford. Yes. Okay. Let's see. Then, um, I used to love when Harry met Sally. I just thought that was, it was so adorable. It was an adorable. Yes. And now I would say what touches me are the Black Panther series. Those movies are very, they, oh, the beauty, the, um, they captured so well how African Americans and, um, African people believe in community and that you have to work together and not be divisive in that.

It can happen, but you have to remember to come back together. And so that touches all the fields as well. Wakanda forever.

Favorite quote or affirmation favorite quote that's easy. I have finally an easy one. It's at the bottom of all of my emails and it is life must be lived forward, but understood backwards. And if you read the book, you can see that you, again, it goes back to if your parents are telling you, um, something to keep you safe, but that's not, that was a reality when they were younger, but it's not a reality now, right?

You have to look back and say, okay, this is why they think that, but this is what's happening now. How do I navigate this? Understand backward to live forward. Wow. Love it. Um, favorite place to reset or recharge. Oh, that's easy. My, I have a screened in porch in my backyard and I can sit there and lose myself.

I can sit out there and write to feel the breeze, to hear the trees, to hear the birds, to see the flowers. Just it's like, Oh, this is, this is where I can be and no mosquitoes. That's why. Love it. And last but not least, Deborah, what's your guilty pleasure? So I will eat daily one square of dark chocolate with bacon in it.

It's so amazing. It's so amazing. The guilty pleasure is not that one. It's when I have two in the same day, that's my guilty pleasure. How do you eat just one? I don't understand. Yeah, my kids would say the same thing. They'd be like, Mom, this, this bar has been in here for months. What is that name? I like what I like.

Right. And I, I stay very present every bite. I'm like, I'm ruminating with it. Right. I am like, Oh, this is. So I'm satisfied after that one. If it's a particularly tough day, I may eat two. And then I just have to get in there and like, Oh yes, yes, yes, yes. And then I can let it go. No more than two, though. And you feel no guilt because we've already covered that.

No more guilt. I love it. It's not necessary. Well, that's amazing discipline, I will say. And it's mindful eating, which I don't think we do enough of, you know, we just kind of inhale. Well, Deborah, I just want to thank you, , for coming on today and for sharing all of your wisdom and for writing this book and making so many people feel seen and, giving me the opportunity to, go through a whole thing of, flags and, and, and highlighter pens.

And it's just been truly wonderful. Where can listeners find you and your work? Sure. So, um, on my website, www. debraliverette, it's spelled just like on the screen there, uh, com, and if you go, you'll get a free gift that aligns with the book. That's where we put everything that I'm going to be doing and doing.

So, um, and we have lots planned for the book. We will be all over the country and a little bit out of the country, I think. Um, I was in Paris. Last year, and I wrote the first manuscript in Paris. I stayed for two months. And so we did a Paris pilgrimage there. I wrote a Paris pilgrimage, I should say, and we've been sending it out to people when the book was a little bit delayed.

It was called my Paris pilgrimage pivot, because the book didn't come out when it was supposed to. So if you go to that website and you go in. You can send me an email, and I'll be happy to answer any questions and point you to the Paris Pilgrimage and that kind of thing. So that's one way. I'm on Instagram as well, which is at Debra LaBerette.

And, um, and you'll see all kindsI love photography. It's one of my other Pleasures. So, um, you'll see the photos. I love to travel, too. So I travel the world and try and take pictures and share them with people, as well as a lot of inspiration goes into it, too. Wonderful. And Debra, spell your last name just for those who are just listening to the audio version of the podcast.

It's Liverette, L I V like Victor, E R E T T. And I should spell Debra too because there are two ways to do it. It's spelled like the, um, King James version. D like, uh, D like Debra, E B like boy, O R. A like Apple, H like Helen, so it's really Deborah, but it's enough to get people to call me Deborah. People who like to shorten my name and I remind them, no, no, it's Deborah.

It's Deborah. There are no Debs. No, not here. Well, I love it. Well, I highly, highly encourage people to go out. It's on Amazon and pick up the book. It's an easy read. Um, and it's just packed though, with so, so, so many gems. So thank you for, thank you for sharing your story and giving us all our next beautiful fix until next time.

Stay connected to what makes you feel alive.