How to Stop Obsessing Over the How—And Finally Move Forward!

How to Stop Obsessing Over the How—And Finally Move Forward!

Ever feel like you’re stuck in overthinking mode, obsessing over how to make a big change before you actually take action? I get it—I was there too. But here’s the truth: the path doesn’t appear before the leap, it appears because of it.

In this episode, I’m sharing the next chapter of my story—the messy, uncertain, exhilarating reality of what happened after I walked away from my career with no safety net. We’ll talk about why focusing on the “how” keeps you stuck, what to do instead, and how to start moving toward the life you actually want (even if you don’t have all the answers yet).

If you’re tired of waiting for the perfect plan before you take your next step, this episode is for you.

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Transcript

Episode 5: How to Stop Obsessing Over the How—And Finally Move Forward!

[00:00:00] 

In my first solo episode, Come to the Edge, I shared a story that left us at a bit of a cliffhanger. I told you about that moment when I stood at the edge of my fear, dialed my manager's number, and took a deep breath before making a decision that would change everything. And then I kind of left you hanging.

Well, today we're picking up that story.

I just want to invite anyone who hasn't listened to that first episode, come to the edge to check it out , because I have heard from so many people [00:01:00] that my story resonated so deeply with them. People from all walks of life, all ages, men and women. And it touched me because that's why I'm doing this.

I'm doing this to reach that one person who might need to hear my story. So I know that everyone wants to know the how, right? How did I walk away from my career with no safety net? How did we survive financially? How did I make it work? And I get it. I used to obsess over that question.

Before I made the leap, I was desperate to know exactly how it would all work out. But here's what I've learned since then. The how is the wrong focus. Just stay with me. I know that's probably an irritating [00:02:00] answer, but focusing on the how, it actually keeps you stuck. And that's why it's the wrong question.

And the how is going to be different for everyone, right? Everyone has different needs, different requirements. They want different outcomes. But here's the part that I want people to understand. None of the safety nets were in place before I jumped. They all appeared afterwards. So focusing on the how was keeping me stuck because I used to spend every non working hour trying to figure that piece out.

In no universe could I have ever, ever figured out what ended up happening, where I am today. It just simply didn't exist. 

So going back to the call with my manager, after the call, we had come up with [00:03:00] a plan. And within a few months, I left my company. And after that, it was really just being plunged into the great unknown, just no answers, just having to really sit and get comfortable with not knowing what was next for me, and not trying to fix it.

right away because I would have jumped back into the known. So this is where you have to remain open and follow the breadcrumbs. What do I mean by that? So This conversation that you have with this person leads to you getting curious about this thing, and then this thing leads you to look into this path, and then this path introduces you to this person and so on and so on.

You have to really kind of go within and start trusting your own instincts and following those desires. They're there for a reason. If there's. something that [00:04:00] you're interested in, something that turned your head. Um, there's a reason for that. But so often we say, No, that's silly. Or that's, you know, I don't have time for that.

Or I'll get to that later. But if you start to just say, Hmm, that's interesting, I'm going to check that out a little bit more, you would be surprised how that leads you to your next thing.

And again, I'm not suggesting to anybody to recklessly Quit their job. That's not what this is about. But what it is about is for you to start thinking about what's pulling you, what's just kind of tugging on you and taking you to that next step. 

And here's the other thing. This isn't the kind of story where there's a, and that's what happened. Like there's a nice beginning, middle, and end. No, I'm, I'm in the throes of this. I'm on a [00:05:00] journey, right? I, I'm just kind of beginning. And, and that's what makes this so exhilarating because I feel alive again because I don't know what tomorrow looks like.

I don't know what next week looks like. I don't know where all of this is going, but what I do know is that I feel alive again, you know, and that's really just it. It's just Taking chances, and having fun with it, and not being afraid to fail, and not being afraid to start over, and not being afraid of the unknown, and starting to have fun with that again.

Sometimes, We want everything to be perfect, and we want to know with certainty that it's going to work out, and we're not going to fall flat on our face, and we're not going to look ridiculous, and we know exactly what we're doing, and we have so much experience, and we're an expert at this. I'm an expert at [00:06:00] nothing.

Nothing. I don't ever plan on being an expert. I plan on being a curious learner for the rest of my life. And giving myself the grace to just do it messy. It's probably one of the best gifts I've ever given myself is just do it messy. I've never done a podcast before. All of this is new. It's terrifying. It's scary. It's also rewarding. 

Earlier this year, my cousin and I hosted a retreat. It was, oh, so rewarding. It was something that I'd wanted to do for a while and, um, we just decided to do it, to just go for it. It just felt right. We wanted to bring together, um, a group of women in sisterhood and just celebrate each other and just [00:07:00] love on these women and just watching them settle in.

and allow themselves to surrender to rest and to take care of themselves and to soak it all in and to realize that this was really built for them. Um, it was just so amazing watching people exhale and trust and, um, the, the, the friendships and, oh, it was just, it was so good. It was so good. And the idea that, you know, it's something I could have talked myself out of, but we did it.

We did it, guys. Just do it. Just take action on something. I'm telling you, it's amazing on the other side. We're already planning our next one. There's no way we couldn't do something like that again. So just have fun with all of this. Do it messy. [00:08:00] Just do it. So, my friend, stop focusing so much on the how, and instead really think about what lights you up and start moving in that direction. Just start doing more of those things and a little less of the things that drain you. And see where it takes you and remain open. That's one of the key things. Say yes to more things.

And it's going to feel uncomfortable. It is. But one of my favorite quotes is, Life begins on the other side of your comfort zone. It's so true. So when you feel that little nervousness about doing something new, know that there's something on the other side of that. And just, just do it. Just go for it.

Just try it. A little more of that, a little less of what drains you. So I want to leave you with [00:09:00] this. What's something you've been waiting to have fully figured out before you move forward? And what if instead of just waiting for the whole map, you just took the next step? Because the path doesn't appear before the leap.

The path appears because of it. So until next time, stay open and trust what's unfolding. 

If you're ready to feel more alive and aligned, grab my free guide, Finding Your Beautiful Fix, Simple Shifts to Rediscovering Your Inner Power. Just head to the Your Free Gift tab at abeautifulfix. com or check the link in the show notes. [00:10:00]