Midlife Hit. She Didn't Burn It All Down—She Built Something New (And So Can You) with Sairan Aqrawi

What if your second act isn’t about starting over… but expanding into more of who you really are?

This week on A Beautiful Fix, we’re joined by Sairan Aqrawi—engineer, speaker, and coach—who knows what it’s like to reach a moment in life where everything looks successful on paper… but something deeper is calling.

Sairan didn’t burn it all down. She added to it.

After 30+ years in engineering, she followed a new pull—to help other women stop playing small and start monetizing the talents they’ve been quietly carrying for decades.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The moment she knew she wanted more—and what she did next
• How she turned her analytical brain into a coaching superpower
• The real reason so many women stay stuck (and how to shift it)
• Her signature 28-day framework to help you get clear, get brave, and get moving

This isn’t about crisis. It’s about evolution.

And this conversation is your permission to go after the more you’ve been quietly craving.

Connect with Sairan Aqrawi:

Website: www.sairanaqrawi.com

Instagram: @sairanaqrawi

LinkedIn: Sairan Aqrawi on LinkedIn

Interested in her 28-day program? DM her on Instagram or reach out through her website to learn more.

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Transcript

Midlife Hit. She Burned It All Down (And So Can You) with Sairan Aqrawi

[00:00:00] 

Today's guest is someone whose mission deeply resonates with the heart of this show. I am joined by Sairan Aqrawi, an engineer, speaker, author, and coach with over 30 years of experience in engineering and team building. Through her work as an international transition coach, she helps women uncover hidden talents and turn them into sustainable, joyful income streams, all while navigating the layered identities we carry, especially in midlife.

Her story is a [00:01:00] beautiful reminder that your power doesn't fade with time, it actually deepens Sairan. Welcome to a beautiful fix. Thank you so much, Tracy, for having me. My pleasure to be here. I'm so excited to get into this conversation. Let's, let's start with the moment that you knew something needed to shift.

You had a long, successful career in engineering. What was that inner voice or life moment that kind of nudged you towards something new? Yes. Thank you for that question. Uh, I get to ask so many people ask me the same thing. What was a pivotal moment? I mean, they see that I've been in engineering for 30 years.

Why I decided in my midlife to start a business. Uh, well, I feel like my hidden talent and my hidden gym was. All with me all the time. It just was muted or sleep for a while. You know, life routines, um, you know, carrier kids, um, aging [00:02:00] parents, sibling friends, uh, stress paying bills here, kind of like you forget what is really the true value.

What you really good at. So I kind of follow the expected path for so many years with with success, leadership and engineering, but I knew something was missing. I. My hidden talent was buried under that routine. And that's exactly happened when I graduated, uh, from my master program in 2017. So I was all pumped.

I'm like, yay, let's do it. I'm smart. Let, let's do the doctor degree. So I made that mistake and I start my doctor program right after, like right after six months. And I thought doctoral degree that said I'll be doctor in engineering. Oh wow. This is amazing. When at the same time I got an opportunity at the university, they asked me to speak with a group of, uh, grad student.

I. About the real life of working as a female. What is the [00:03:00] working force look like as an engineer? Because everything looked perfect on paper and books, but the reality is different When you hit that boots on the ground, and, and this is a lot of people call it male dominated, which I don't agree. Um, and they asked me if I.

Willing to speak with those younger engineers. I said, of course. So when I did that speaking, it was like an hour and a half, uh, the head of the department came back and she said, uh, those young girls really loved your talk. Uh, have you been coaching before? And I am being engineer just knowing numbers. I thought she's talking about.

Coaching athlete. Right? I didn't know there's something called live and business coach. Seriously, back in 2017. I didn't know. I said, yeah, I was a swimming coach in my 20 and she was like, no, not that kind of coach. I thought, I'm smart all that time, but that I knew I'm not that smart. I said, what do you mean?

She said, live and [00:04:00] business coach on someone who guide others. To fulfill their dreams and guide them, you know, during process and faces to, to accomplish their dreams. I said, no. I, I, I don't know what is that? She said, I think you want to check that because. You, your approach is very unique. Your metaphor, you, you're speaking with examples and, and, and everybody will, you know, uh, will in love with your message.

So she make me curious. I end up searching the ICFI fall in love with their program. I took the exam, of course, I put the doctoral on hold, still on hold. I never looked back and I become an A, C, C. So I think back then I realized that. The, the belief that, that, the belief that's holding me back, it was a lack of skills and opportunity.

It was the belief I have inside me that my best years were behind me because I thought, oh, I'm, you know, late in the career, midlife, [00:05:00] maybe I should just take it easy, stay on the lane and make it, you know, just my days until I finish and, and, and retire. But then I said, Nope, midlife is, I'm gonna reinvent.

And midlife is the power place. And this is not the end of the story. It's actually the beginning of the best chapter. So that's the first moment. Yeah. So Seran, did you, did you come to that decision easily? Like did, did, or did you grapple with it a little bit? Did you feel like, I'm getting, I'm filling this pool, but do I really want to.

Completely changed my career or were you just pretty much like, no, I, I know I want to start this new path. I think your hidden talent and Jim, it, it's inside you already, you have it when you are a teenage, maybe younger in your 20, and you kind of put them on mute because you end up getting married, taking care of the family, kids, and responsibility.

For me, I, I, I, I felt that I have it [00:06:00] for a long time, but I was very busy doing routines life. Right? Mm-hmm. I was scared. I had every single doubt that you can imagine. Uh, I was like, will people take me seriously? Am I crazy to, to leave the stability of engineering career? Or how can I even start from scratch?

All I know is tech is IQ numbers and design. What, what I'm doing with this entrepreneurship. But then I knew that. Purpose and the impact will last for long. And, and my daughter, back then, when, when I saw her, she was a teenage and she encouraged me a lot. She said, mom, I think you can do this. And I feel like if she's, I mean, she's a young, younger, mini me.

If I can make her life and other women better in their early 30 or early 40, I think it's worth it. So I continue. I said, no, I'm not giving up. I'm gonna continue doing this. It's beautiful, and I love that your, your daughter was part of your inspiration. Were, were you able [00:07:00] to, um, apply some of your engineering skills to this new kind of coaching life?

I. Yes, definitely. Um, and, and, and I love this question, why? Because a lot of client come with different background and different expertise. They come with, uh, you know, expertise in the medical field or law or engineering or any other expertise, and they decided to pivot to something else and they tell me, would I wasted that skills?

Would all those degree were wasted? And I always tell them, no, it is not. I did 30 years of engineering. It was not waste. And how comes you see is not waste. It's not waste because it's formula. It's develop you to the next level. I use engineering metaphor in my coaching all the time and it pop up. Like when I say clarity is your foundation, and I say foundation, I say, oh yeah, that's foundation of the house.

Because like [00:08:00] I always link them. I say, your clarity is your foundation because if you are not clear. That's the foundation of the building is gonna collapse, right? So I use those metaphor, I use the. Organize brain that I have, everything is lined up. It, it's programmatic in a way. There is a strategy in everything.

There is a map, there is a blueprint. Uh, I don't come across like a coach or consultant. Uh, and, and I hear that from many of my client. They said, you very bold in your message. It's always attached with numbers and date and action. I'm not here to inspire you. I'm here to. To have you do the transformation yourself, but I have to take you from A to B, so it's not just selling words.

You can hear those YouTube all day long, holding you accountable. I'm an engineer with number. If I tell you today, you are my client and you're [00:09:00] scared to be a speaker, and I I, I guarantee you with me in three months, you're gonna be on the stage speaking. I'm giving you the three month and the date. So there is a number there, there is fact in it.

It's not just me promising you something, you might never get to it. And that's how the engineering helped me because with the number, this is what we say in engineering meeting, always, if you, if your statement is not attached to, um, a code or a date, it's just an assumption. It's an assumption. I think, uh, um, uh, what's, what's her name?

Um, Renee Brown always say, uh, when we have, uh, when we have no data. It's an assumption. Yes. So data, numbers always fact and that's what get to people. So definitely engineering help me a lot in my business. Oh, I just love it. I love so much. First of all, my son is an aerospace engineer. And hearing [00:10:00] you talk, it's just making me think of the way he thinks, the way his brain is wired, and that's such a powerful skillset because for me.

I like to learn. I love to have my nose in a book and highlighting or in a course the action part, the doing, that's the part I have to constantly push myself. So to have a coach like you that, that we're not just gonna talk about it, we're gonna put a deadline and I'm gonna get you there. That's it's powerful.

Yes. Yes. Because I learned from experience that your confidence will not come first. Action does. Yes. Not gonna be confident right away. I can't just put in your head. You are a good speaker. You are a good speaker. Unless it's hands on, I have to put you on the stage. You might not be perfect. The first time I was not.

I still remember when I spoke the first time on the stage, I literally forgot my name. I didn't know why I'm there. The lady was looking at me like, hello? I was like, why? They invite me. What is the purpose? [00:11:00] Now? I still get the better. I, I, I still get excited, not scared, but it get better. Yes. Just like anything else, they, it.

It's like having the first babies always more different than the second baby. When you change your job, when you learn new skills, everything in the beginning is muddy, but the more you do it, you become master at. Yes. That's why you have to fill, fill the fear and do it anyway. And when I would speak and get on a stage, I would always try to trick myself when I would fill those nerves and say, Tracy, it's excitement.

'cause the body doesn't really know the difference. It feels the same. Instead of think of it as nerves. I would be like, I'm so excited. But yes, you have to do the thing and do it over and over and over again. Yes, the excitement. I'll add one more thing that I ask myself for, for not getting really, uh, uh, getting that fear.

When you are in the stage or interview or meeting someone you know, important, you always think about, again, go back [00:12:00] to the engineering mindset. This is an event which has a beginning and a end. So it's gonna last only for few times. It's not just, it's not gonna be endless. So that fear, it's a short term.

So if your interview at 10 o'clock, it's only last 40 minutes or one hour. So only start it and pass it. So always think about it. That's gonna last shortly. It's temp. Yes. Yeah. I love that. And then when you get to the end, you think I want more. Typically you're like, oh, I went too fast. Yes. And, and I'll add in one more thing.

One thing that has helped me is something called the spotlight effect. We tend to think that everyone's looking at us, thinking about us. It's all about us, and most people are, they're not. But if you can turn that spotlight around and think there are people in this audience that might benefit from what I have to say, it really shifts that energy to where you're doing it for someone else.

You know, there's someone that needs to hear what you, what you have to [00:13:00] say. True, true. I love that. And it's get better with aging. Yes. I mean, when I hit my 50, I stop not not caring about what other people feel or, or say about me, but in a sense, if I knew that I did my best and I was competent and I did my best in that skill or job and task, I would've not, uh, killed myself with, with thinking, what is the validation?

No one clap. There was not a lot of people who were happy. Well, you did your best. But when you are younger, there is much pressure from, you know, peer pressure. You want that validation. You want to build your resume, you want to be friend with everyone. But when the midlife, I mean I'll, I will call minus 50, right?

If when the midlife started 50, you have those skills, you already have those skills line up and you have it inside you. So as long you're doing your best, you should not wait for that validation. You, you need your own [00:14:00] validation. You want to really say, did I did my best? If the answer is yes, then that's good to go.

Love it. Yes, absolutely. Sarah, one last thing before we move on. You mentioned that you, um, don't agree that the engineering field is male dominated. Can you just talk a little bit more about that? Are you seeing just more women in the field? It's, it's, it's not because the, when we say see women, we label things.

In a way does not serve us. Mm-hmm. We said we don't have equal opportunity, and yet we are the one who said it's a male. Do. It's not. If you, if you ask my sister who is a gynecologist in London, she's gonna tell you, oh, it's a male do. It's not, there is no male and female dominated. It's, if you are ready for the role, it's gonna be your role.

Don't, don't key. Don't, don't split it. In a way, this role, civil engineering constructions on email, uh, that's not written in any book. [00:15:00] That's right. No book, no bible, no manual will say if you are, if you are a woman, you cannot do civil engineering. I did in Middle East, the class, I think we were like 35, uh, student.

It was me and two other girls when I came to United State. 19 96, 19 97, start engineering work Here I see more women. And in construction and other aspect of engineering. So I don't need to come and go back 20, 30 years belief saying this is a male dominated, no, just be, have the skills, master your skills.

And when you enter that room, nobody say it's a woman or a man. They said, oh, he or she's capable. She know her stuff. Hmm. Just know your roles. Yeah. Don't it wrongly. Yeah. Don't label it. That's right. Don't, don't, don't give that power away. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're really passionate, just in general about helping women view midlife as a power era, not a crisis or a decline.

[00:16:00] Can you share how you personally began reframing midlife and how that perspective has changed your life? Yeah, I was, uh, invited to a podcast last year and the podcast called Midlife Crisis. So I to call the host and I was like, oh yeah, this is the name of the podcast. I said, no, I, I will start it with, with all respect to, to both.

They were two nice female, the host. I said, it is not a mid midlife crisis. It's a midlife priceless. Mm. Like imagine yourself with a trophy because a lot of things. You will realize to conclusion when you are a midlife, you don't know better. When you are 22, you don't know that much. When you are 31, you are still thinking about the second child.

35, you are changing your job. 37 you are moving to different state. But when you hit that midlife, finally saying, okay, no more babies. Unless someone want to adopt later in the age, but no more pregnancy, right? [00:17:00] I'm settled. I'm in this state. I love my house. Now is my time. So I tell those midlife women, this is not a, this is not a waiting room.

This is a new frontier. I. This is a new chapter for you. You're gonna discover a lot of things in your midlife. You never thought that you have it because you were busy chaperone for the kids. You going picnic with them, you're taking them to soccer games, you're going to gymnastics. I've done all of that with my son and my daughter, but when they become a teenage and when I start my small business as this is my time.

That's right. This is a reinvention. This is a rebirth. And, and I tell women, and the midlife is one time, why are you waiting? If it's not now, when there's no another midlife, you only to have one midlife, right? That's right. And this is your time. You have to really own it. Don't wait for permission. Uh, think [00:18:00] about any woman that inspire you.

I don't think they ever wait or they ask for permission. They just jump. They jump. They figure things out, right? Yes. They make it happen, right? Yes. And I tell my client, don't wait for the perfect time. You create the right time. Always start before, before you are ready. Mm. Fail. Stand up. Fail stand up, and you do things.

Some client, they tell me, I don't see any, any changes. I don't see the money. I don't see, uh uh, the best version that I thought I'm gonna have in six month. It's true. It's different to all of us. Tracy. Sometimes you do the same thing on and on. No change, nothing happened. You do it again. Nothing happened and all by a sudden, after certain month.

Something enlightenment happens. It's like, wow, that didn't happen overnight. That's the accumulation, the compound, right? With all the effort you did for the [00:19:00] past six months. So for each one of us is different. What I know for sure. If you really committed it's gonna happen. It you committed. You are not dreaming.

We, we passed the dream part, right? Yes. Commitment. Now, yes. If you committed to succeed, if you really put your thought and head and purpose on it, you, you can achieve it. Hmm, absolutely. It's, I, I, I liken it to if you plant something in your garden, you don't plant the seed and water it and then get upset the next day when it hasn't fully bloomed.

You know, you know in your heart that something's coming from it, and in your life you have to kind of just plant little seeds and it eventually, it blooms and you realize, oh my gosh, it happened. It looks like it may have happened overnight, but no, you've been. Yes, you've been putting in the steps and I, and I was gonna say, you were talking about midlife crisis.

I'm trying to reframe it into midlife curiosity, and I think that feels way more expansive, that this is a time in life [00:20:00] where it's our time to explore and to maybe completely shift and to, to follow the breadcrumbs, you know, and have the conversations like we're having today and learn. So I think that's a much more, um, beautiful way to look at this time in our life than it, than, than it's a crisis.

True. And, and going back to what we said earlier, we women are guilty for labeling the wrong connotation to stuff happen to us. When we say midlife, the hair is thinning. I have wrinkles. What are you expecting? Yes. Even if you do a little bit plastic surgery to look better, nothing wrong with that, but don't talk to a Monas that people cannot recognize your features.

Do little bit things here and there to to be satisfied, satisfied about your look. Nothing wrong with that, but don't only focus on the changes of your body. I think Halle Berry talk about the menopause things very beautifully. I mean, look at her. She was more gorgeous than ever, right? Yes. Yes. And when she, she went through the same changes we are going [00:21:00] through.

Yes. She's hali berry. She has the money. That's fine. But she is not having shortcut to look better unless she's doing the exercise and eating healthy. But we women guilty of only focusing on the wrinkles. Oh, there is an ageism. Oh, I applied to that job. They didn't give it to me because I'm 50. How you know from where you get those statement, we make those statement again, we make assumption, but if we show up with a different message, with a different belief, with a different connotation statement, you'll see the audience will receive us differently.

But if I come to the room, I'm like, oh, you know, oh, midlife, you know what's going on. You see the change? Of course, everybody will see the shortage, right? But if you come up with a different attitude the way how you show up. People say, oh wow, she still have a lot to offer. So I'm taking her seriously.

There is no limitation. We put those limitation. Absolutely. Do you have any [00:22:00] thoughts on why women, um, why we tend to hold back stepping to this era or believe in this? Why, why do we limit ourselves or believe these, these limiting beliefs? Uh, so if I speak about myself growing up in Middle East, um, sometimes I refer it to the, you know, when I grow up, like the old belief, how I've been raised by my parents.

And my mom used to say, this is okay, this is not a woman thing. This is a man thing. But again, um, I tell the people who came from Middle Eastern, United States, I said, that's passed. Mm-hmm. Why are you still carrying that belief? That was 30 years ago. It's so heavy. It's like that backpack in your, in your back for 30 years.

Put it down. You hear that from your mom when you were 19 or 21. Now you are 50. Why are you still holding the same beliefs since? 30 years [00:23:00] ago, that doesn't scare you. Sometimes we get to those limited belief from the way, uh, our family, like the culture, the environment, and, and sometimes it is just assumption.

We make assumption. We, our imagination is so big as a woman, we assume a lot of things. We assume we go to the interview. And someone in the panel who tend to be someone with, with not, not smiling like more serious. Mm-hmm. And we assume he didn't like me. Yes. How, you know. Yes. We don't even know the person.

Right. We make assumption and instead I always tell, uh, my, uh, female client, woman client, a midwife. I said, do your best and leave the rest to God. Mm-hmm. You do your best. Right. Anything missing? No. Then that's it. Stop being worded. You did your best. You did your homework. You have the skills. You show the best [00:24:00] what you have.

Leave the rest for that you know better. Mm. Yes, it, we have so much conditioning. I don't even think most people think about it. Conditioning from our parents, from our friends, from our neighbors, from our community, um, from celebrities, from bosses. I mean, there's just so much. So yes, you have to stop and think, where did this belief even come from?

Like you said, why are we holding onto it? But I think it takes being mindful and realizing that this is conditioning, it is not necessarily you, and it's something that you have the choice to put down and say, I'm no longer, I no longer choose to believe that. Yes. Yes. And um, it's okay. Sometimes we drift away.

We kind of like look at the Instagram page and see others who are the same age, who look better. Mm-hmm. Look younger, look skinnier, look happier. They have more stuff than us. It's fine if you just, uh, look at it for a little bit, but, but don't park there. Yeah. Don't dwell on [00:25:00] those feeling. I would replace it with something else.

I'll replace it with a, uh, achievement or a degree or a podcast episode that I'd done three, four years ago. Then I compare that version with my version today. If I see a better version, that's a success. That should be your comparison. Not with Yes. You with Jennifer Lopez. We are different. Yes. Right, right, right.

I mean, but I see myself now when I compare the way how I show up in podcasts or speaking gigs. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but, but I'm way better than the first time. Yes. That's all con Consider success achievement because you are progressing. And that's my definition to success always is the relentless energy to keep progressing.

Yes. If you have that energy to keep progress, that's a success. Don't put your picture beside anybody else except you from last year or six month [00:26:00] ago. That's what you should do. Ah, first of all, I love don't park there. I think that's brilliant. A the, just the visual that that gives you of just parking and staying put Yes.

I've been stagnant. Yeah. Yes. The comparison game is ridiculous. This is why I love the sport of track, I think the most, because you are really competing against yourself. You are trying to just get your time a little bit under what you did before, and that's really what it's about. It's not about comparing yourself to others.

It's kaizen. It's that constantly improving. Are you doing something a little bit better today than you did yesterday? That's, you know, that's it. Yeah. I love, I love when you said about the track, because I, I, I used, not now I'm still exercising, but not when I was in my twenties, I was a swimming coach.

Mm-hmm. And always they ask me why swimming? And I said, I feel when I swim, that water will clean and brush away and take away all my. Worried. My [00:27:00] doubt, my limitation, my belief, the bully, the people who were bad to me, that water wa was washing everything. And also when I was swimming, I, it was like meditation.

I was like, me and the water talking. It was so, it was so deep. Like I, I thought about like coming out of the swimming pool, how I can do this flip, how can I do that stroke better next, next. So I'm competing with myself. Right. It's the same thing with the track, you said. Yes. So, yeah. I love the the metaphor you use.

Yeah. And just the power of water in general. That could be a whole nother podcast. Yes. There's something very magical about water in and of itself, but True. So I wanted to move on to your approach. It's very unique. You help women monetize their hidden talents within 28 days. That's powerful. What, what does that process look like for someone who's just starting out?

So I, I changed it on 2023 because I changed my niche or my niche. I used to be a transition [00:28:00] expert and my, uh, client were international women who come to United States seeking their American dream. So my program were three month and six month, and before COVID it, it was kind of is okay, but when COVID hit, the whole game changed, you know, for the business and everything.

So I feel like people, uh, patient. A span has got way shorter, so I have to condense and put everything in in one month, and I kept it 28 days because I tell my client on the last two days, you're gonna be so happy and celebrating that. Finally, you get to the clarity. What is the next step for you? Of course, you're not gonna make million in 28 days.

You're not gonna be rich in 28 days. You're not gonna have everything. Happened 28 days, but the, the, the framework that I provide in that 28 days, it's three pillars. Very simple. Again, metaphor engineering. Clarity is your foundation. Without that strong [00:29:00] foundation, if you are not clear what you really want to do, you can be all over the place.

You have to be really center focused what you, what you really want to do. Then the building, the wall and the door is the action. You need to take action. That's the building and the roof is the consistency. You have to consistently do that because if you don't protect that roof again from the thunderstorm and rain, the, the whole building and household collapse, right?

Yes. So this is what I tell my client. You come with an idea, you are clear. Great. Let's, let's sit down. I'm your accountability. Guidance. So I'm someone with a flashlight holding it for you. I'm not gonna tell you this, what's worked for me, that's how it should work for you as well, because each one of us have a different, you know, uh, experience and, and skills.

So when they gain the clarity, I ask them for action. And I, I tell you an example, let's say I have a, a [00:30:00] female who worked 30 years in it, for example, but she loved to speak and when she hired me for the 28 days program, she come with the clarity. So she already had the foundation that she's in it, and I'll ask her not to quit her day job because I want the stability.

Mm-hmm. She want to be a speaker. So I asked her, what do you have done? What is the action you've done to be a speaker? She said, I listened to Les Brown and Tony Robinson. Okay, listen, what else? I take classes. What else? That's not action to me. Mm-hmm. That's just learning. Mm-hmm. The action is, I'm gonna put her on the stage.

I'm gonna throw her in a podcast. The very first two weeks she's with me. I'm, I'm introducing her to one of the people who I know on podcast. I said, you need to inter interview this lady. She's an IET. She had a doubt she want to speak. So action is really get, you know, your hands dirty, hands on. You are in the factory [00:31:00] dealing.

You're putting your hands on the thing. Hands on, and action is not the same. You are reading and learning. You can read and learn and listen to those YouTube all day long, but without you being on that stage, you are not doing anything. Then the last things where I ask her when she done the 28 days is the roof, the consistency.

Don't just finish with me and, and leave it there. You want to continue being brave enough, apply for TED Talk, doing training, more training, speaking more opportunity. Do publication, be out there exposed to more opportunity. That's the consistency. That's what is keep the roof of her business. And there is a lot of pushback because people think, oh, 28 days I am.

I'm hiring this coach. Medicals will happen. I'm not a magician. Right? Right. I'm not a magician. I'm, I'm not gonna come with, with a secret sauce for 28 days. If anyone telling you that they gonna change [00:32:00] you in 28 days or even a six month, don't, don't believe that scam. Because unless you do the work, unless you take the action, you can have 10 coaches.

You will go nowhere. Yes, you will never go from A to B unless you take the action and the those action has to be bold. Action. So Cyron, how do you get them to take action? I mean, how do you get someone who's afraid and new they wanna do the thing? I see this in so many people, and for me it seems so obvious, like, oh my God, just do it.

And, and I'm guilty of it as well, but people are so afraid. They're so afraid of that first step of making that mistake. I need more certifications, I need more of this. I need more of that. How do you get them to take that scary action? Good question. I was there too. I was scared to death from the first time I was in podcast or on the, uh, stage speaking or writing my first book with another, you know, as a co-author of a book.

And they said, oh, writing a book. [00:33:00] What is that? Yeah. After you're writing a book, you have to speak about the book. It was all intertwined, right? It is all related. Yes. And I, I always done engineering. I don't know none of those entrepreneurship things in business and small business. To answer your question, because I've been through it sometimes I, I've done it in co in in swimming coaching too, when I was telling him to get to the swimming pool and they said, we are afraid when we gonna drown.

I, I threw them, I, I'm not saying that to a swimming coach, but I've done it in the Middle East. I was throwing the, the. The, the, the trainer, and I'll jump right behind them, right? Yes. I to, to make sure they are safe. Yes. But same concept of throwing them in the swimming pool when I said to, to, to interrupt that, uh, scaredness or, or, or, you know, scared, being scared from being, uh, doing the action.

I put them on the spot and I tell them to do it, and I'll be right beside you helping you, but I'll [00:34:00] make them do the first one by themself because unless you do it once and you see what is the mistake, what is the shortage, what is the lack, then you will be eager to do it again in a better way. Yes, but if you keep hearing me telling you, oh, you need one more courses, oh, let's take this courses is only $600.

Oh, take this training. That's gonna take forever. Mm-hmm. And we talking midlife, right? Mm-hmm. I'm not having someone who just turned 19, who has 30 years ahead of them. Mm-hmm. I'm talking with women who are seasoned in her job. She want to start a small business. We, we don't have that much time. You need to take action.

If you are an IT and you want to speak, I want you to, to show up in that podcast. I know you are not perfect. I was not. No one is perfect. We are not Joe Rogan here, right? We are not comparing Rogan, but I want you to show up. Show your best, do the homework. Be true to yourself. Be authentic. [00:35:00] Have the message, and there will be audience who's gonna resonate with your message.

Don't wait for the perfect time. There is no perfect time. Create the own the time for yourself. Say, I'm just gonna show up. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it this time. Maybe it's 50%, but in six months it will be 80%. Hmm. So again, you have to just take the action. You just have to, you just have to do it. Yes. You just have to do it.

Do you have any examples of maybe your favorite transformation that you've witnessed?

Men and women? Um, I would say I had a recently, I. A real estate. Uh, she was making a lot of money. She was a real estate agent and she, she knew she's good in what she's doing, but she was never able to speak up an event for real estate. She, [00:36:00] she was not able to market herself enough, although she was making the money.

The real estate money was there, but she always was the real agent who sit in the back. All the chairs in the back and you know, show up, hi, you know, making some networking, but never took action being on the stage and speak up. And when I asked her why is that? She said, why I need to be comfortable. Do I need a communication skill?

I said, of course, you are a real estate agent. You convince people to buy a certain house and the location they desire. And she said, but that's, everybody know that everybody can learn that. I said, no, your approach has to be different when you speak, when you tell your client, I'm not your real estate agent to buy a house, I'm gonna buy you a home.

And she was like, what is the difference? I said, when you change, you tweak the wording in your message. People will. Drawn to you, they will resonate with your [00:37:00] message. Because when you say home, that's been the warm Yes. The home, you know, the baking, the, the Thanksgiving, the Christmas house is a house, but home, like when you say, this is very homey.

Yes. And she said, okay, let me try to do it. She went to an event, she called me, she said. Oh my God. I'm very comfortable because I, I, I represent myself who I am. I was very authentic. I was not following, following any script. I talked about the home and how this home, it's, it's aligned with their dream and they see themself in the patio and how they enjoy their grandchildren as a see.

So your job is not just a job. You can turn it to legacy. It's not just a job. It's a legacy. I love that. Yeah. What, what do you say to um, women that say, I don't really know what my talent is. I don't know what my, my gifts are. I get [00:38:00] that a lot. And when they said, I only been doing this for 30 years, I don't think I have any hobby.

I was never in sport. I never loved music. I never write any book. No blocks, uh, no hands on. I don't know how to knit. That's what you think. If you sit down with yourself even before you hire a coach or consultant. Think back when you were teenage. Think back when, early 20 when you were in college. There was always something that you really, really enjoy doing it on the spare time and people will compliment you about it and you'll be like, why?

They are even complimenting me. I do this very easy. That's not, it's not a special. I'm always good doing that, but that the strength. It's, it's, it's often are the things that we do it so naturally we don't even see the value in it. You'll see someone who's in cybersecurity or in it, but they cook very well.

[00:39:00] And I'm not suggesting that person, a guy or woman leave their cybersecurity job and be a chef. No, but they love, they have a good taste. Mm-hmm. They know how to cook certain dishes. That's a hidden talent. That's something that you have to leverage and, and share with the world and with, with, with the audience, with, with people who around you.

Don't be ashamed saying, I'm in cybersecurity. What I'm gonna do chef, don't do chef. Just celebrate that skills. Tell, claim it to the world, saying, I have a hidden talent. It's not hidden anymore. Mm, I discovered it is the gem. It's like, um, I'll show you. It's my business card. This is my business card. I, I give it away when I do speaking gigs.

It's the gem. Oh. Oh my God. I love that. That, yeah. It says my name and last name, so I tell people you have this. And you put it beside your computer. Every time you look at this blue diamond, blue diamond say, [00:40:00] what was that hidden gem? I'm an it, I am a lawyer, I'm a doctor. What, what is that? One thing? That's really, I do it so effortlessly.

I don't feel the time, I don't feel the effort. Uh, I, I, I enjoy it. It's like something that, uh, I really thrive. I, I you, you lose the sense of timing when you do it. Mm-hmm. You don't feel like if you put me in a room, Tracy, you give me a cup of green tea and a piece of paper, I can write all day long writing for me.

I don't feel the time. Mm-hmm. I love to write and writing and engineering. Right? Yes. Right. It's often hidden in plain sight and it makes it, I think, harder for people to uncover. My son, I talked to him about one of my sons, I talk to him about this all the time. I can see it in him. I can see it. It's, and he will argue with me like, mom, anyone can do this.

And I'm [00:41:00] like, no, they can't. But he just looks, he brushes it off like it's no big deal. And I'm standing there like, oh my gosh, I can see it so clearly. And, and. Sometimes on the aha moment, this is how you know it, when they talk about everything, like when you mention your son, but when you, when they do that talent or they mention that talent, their, their eye lit up.

Yes. Their body language change. Even their, their voice tone is differently and see. You love, maybe in the engineer, and she loved to paint and when she talk about painting all her, all her face lit up. Mm-hmm. Like mm-hmm. That's your hidden talent. Totally. You're lit up from the inside. Yeah. Well, switching gears a little bit, so you've navigated some big transitions, not just CareerWise, but also through cultural shifts and balancing multiple roles.

How has your cultural background shaped your view of reinvention? [00:42:00] Beautiful question. Of course. Um. 29 years ago when I landed in Guam, uh, we stationed in Guam before we we come to, to United State. Um, the culture shock, I mean, although I, I work with, with know, with the, you know, uh, staff who spoke English, I, I knew English and uh, the language was not that a big of deal, even though that we still have accent and, and, uh, we were speaking different languages with the staff, but when we came.

We realized this is the unknown. We landed to unknown destination because you left your support system, you left your sibling, your parents, and now you have to start from scratch. And as an international woman, when, when I arrived, I was only 26 young, not married. Uh, I thought there will be a red carpet and people say, oh, welcome Mrs.

Engineer. Life is good. Let's make money. Because when we were in Middle East, we were watching those Rambo and, you know, uh, [00:43:00] George Clooney's movie, everything is shiny. The boats, and you are in New York, everything's like vivid. There is light, there is money on the street. That's our impression about the American dream.

Mm-hmm. So it was all shiny, but no reality. But when we landed here. The reality hit, and I don't want to scare people saying it's difficult, it doable, but don't put so much expectation for the people who are already here because this is your American dream is nobody else. No one call you to come here. No one begged you to come here.

You chose to make this land your, your, your. Land of dream. So it's your goal, it's your job to make it happen. Don't come here and then blame the society. Blame, uh, the am American who born here, or they are racist. They don't like me. No one say nothing to you, yet you just landed. [00:44:00] Don't make assumption that the people here are hating you or don't want you to succeed.

As a matter of fact, it's the opposite. They want you to succeed. To make America a a best, you know, coexisting society from all nationality work together. No one want you to fail, but if you come with that negative thought saying, oh, I don't look like anyone, everybody's against me. You didn't even start it.

You just got here. You haven't done any work on yourself. Where is your self development? You come to this country with a degree, who cares? Everybody has a degree. Not assume you have a PhD degree in engineering. The whole US people will line up and clapping for your PhD degree. Nobody care. They care what you are giving to the society, what you are adding, what is your value?

Anyone can go to college and earn tens of. [00:45:00] Degree in certification, but what you are offering, what are you giving to others? That's what is matter. So my message to people who want to start different culture, I came from different culture totally. And I got married here. I. I was single. Um, my English was way broken.

I mean, I know English, but I, I was not fluent. I was not comfortable. I still have the accent and I'm proud of it because I speak other dialogue. I speak Kian Arabic, but I'm clear when I speak. But when I came, I doubted everything. I was doubting my approach. I was afraid to apply job. I felt like people against me.

Who? Who? Where? Why? No, nobody. Everybody's busy with their own story. That's right. Like you said earlier, there is no spotlight, right? Spotlight, yeah. Nobody care. This is your story. This is your dream and you have to do the work. Theron. That has to take so much strength [00:46:00] though. I just think about. Um, you know, I've, I've been lucky to travel the world, and when I go, you know, unfortunately, I, I don't know.

I don't know any other language besides English. Um, you know, I took a little bit of French and, and school, but I can't speak it. So the idea of someone coming here and being able to accomplish all of that and learn a new language, and it's, it's, it's really impressive. But that's a beautiful way to, to look at, again, what you're saying is you're giving people the power back instead of putting the power in other people's hands.

It you're telling people, no, you make. You make the most of, you know this, this opportunity, and I, I just think there's, there's power behind that. Yeah. I mean, I think Joe Rogan said it once, he said, be the hero of your own story. Yes, you are the hero. You are the main character. Right? Don't blame it on others.

Nobody look like no one. We all look different. We came from different background, but don't blame the society. And I come to this conclusion after [00:47:00] many, uh, failures and, and disappointment that I have, that I make assumption. I thought that the shortcoming or I didn't do great because others didn't want the best for me.

Others were not even in the circle. Nobody even was thinking it was my assumption. It was me lacking of confidence. So the self-development come again from the action you do when you come from different culture. I had some client, I had client. It, it was a guy many, many years ago. I, I think five, six years ago, he came from Russia and, uh, and, and he talk, he was very angry.

He, he was, I think system engineer. He has master degree from Russia and system system engineering. And the minute he, uh, I, I started a conversation with him, he said. I don't like this place. Nobody's welcoming me. There is no job lineup for me. I said, who told you there is job lineup for anyone? [00:48:00] We have to create the opportunity.

He was already angry. And when you are Tracy, when you are angry and you are already in a limited mindset. You don't even see the opportunity in your way. It might be the right in front of you, but you don't see it because you are already, uh, poisoning and there's so much toxic and the thinking, you don't see the opportunity.

So I tried to explain to him and I told him, I said, I'm a female. I came from Middle East and I come across all the obstacle you are telling me. He said, well, I don't have your patient. I said, then I'm sorry. This is not the land of dream for you. May not meant to be here. It's not for everyone. Mm-hmm. If you wanted an easy ride, if you wanted to be famous and rich in five years, that's only in the movies.

That's not the reality. You really have to work and sweat about every [00:49:00] steps you do. Otherwise, you are not gonna make it good. Oh, so good. Well, we're going to close with our beautiful fix speed round. So you just say what comes to mind. There's no pressure, no perfection. Just fun. What makes you come alive?

What's make me come alive? It's always when I see someone get the aha moment when they finally realize, whoa, I'm clear where I'm going. And especially. Uh, midlife women when they finally realize their value, their worth, and their purpose in life, uh, that transformation, Tracy, uh, lights me up every single time.

Mm. What, what's a song that instantly shifts your mood or makes you fail something?

Yeah, I don't know why, but it's the, uh, the world we knew over and [00:50:00] over for Frank Sinatra. Oh, oh, I love that. Something about it, it, it struck me with a lot of emotion and, um, nostalgia and, um, somehow that song always bring me back to the center. Mm. If I listen to it, if I post it in my Instagram, that's mean.

I had a aha moment that day and back to center and I posted many times. I post that song in my post many times in Instagram. I'll have to go listen to that one. 'cause I love so many Frank Sinatra songs. Yes. Yeah. Well, is there a book that just cracked you open or stayed with you long after the last page?

Oh yeah. It's always the, um. So many books, but this one, because that's what is inspired the, the gem I show you. Yes, yes. I can feel the success principle. Oh, I can feel, so this is a old book, but it is like a, a university in a book. Each [00:51:00] chapter, each chapter is a lessons by itself. It's a roadmap. It's a blueprint.

And chapter 39, it's talk about focusing on core genius. That's the hidden gem that, uh, it's inspire me. So that book I gifted to so many client, if the author Jack Anfield know about it, he might send me a 10,000 copy just because I, I gifted so many times. Because like I said, each chapters talk about something, like each chapter can be a, a, a talk by itself, a podcast episode, it can be a school by itself.

It's, it's, um, it inspire you in a way to take action and will help you to start your business. So, um, yeah, that's book. Okay. So Jack Canfield, the Success Principle. Success Principle. Yeah. Okay. What's your dreamiest? So this is a two-parter. What's your dreamiest destination and what's your everyday spot that kind of [00:52:00] grounds or recharges you?

Okay, so when I was in Iraq in my 20, of course my dream land was United States, but I'm only here since 29 years. But I think now, um, I feel the sole place for me is Guam. Really island, uh, not only dreamy, it is deeply personal. First, that's the place I met my husband, father of my kids, and also when I landed in Guam, I get to have the very fi first taste of freedom and possibilities because when I landed there, um, I said, that's it.

This is an American dream. And it's, it's very personal. I had to go and visit it again. Yeah. How long has it been, how long has it been since you've been there? Um, 29 years I left. Oh, so you haven't 1996. Yeah. Haven't gone back. Okay. Yeah, we stationed on the Anderson South, the [00:53:00] military base before we, uh, come to United States.

So it's, it's very deeply personal. Yeah. I would love to visit. What's your everyday spot your go-to? Yeah, just everyday spot. I live in Washington, DC so the weather is not always nice and, and, and sunny. So if it's nice, then I take a walk. Uh, that's the everyday thing. I don't put music. I don't walk with others, I walk alone without music or putting AirPod and purpose because I want to listen to myself what I have done the previous day that I can do better today.

All that reflect thinking. Yes, and just like listen to the bird and the trees and the, the noise outside is like the nature. Yes. And if it's not nice, if it's gloomy and rainy, then it's my office with, with writing. Uh, a pen and paper and a cup of green tea. Mm, yeah. Love that. [00:54:00] What's your favorite little indulgence or guilty pleasure?

Something that just brings you joy.

It is not good. But I love it because it remind me about, uh, my mother when she was, uh, it's like a, I wa i I love the bread when they bake bread at home. Yes. The worm and the, the smell, the fresh. And remind me about, you know, my teenage time and my younger age when my mom used to bake those bread. And, and I, I'm very weak with breads.

Yeah. I love that. Yeah. Sairan, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, your warmth and your heart with us today. For those listening who wanna learn more, where can they find you and connect with your work? Yes. Uh, thank you Tracy, and for, uh, sake of your audience, if they want to learn more, if they want to have, uh, more clarity about what's really, um.

Take for them to [00:55:00] start their business or even if they want a consultation around their technology or their LinkedIn page, they can reach me on LinkedIn, say Arabi, or if they want to monetize their hidden talent and they want a blueprint, they can, uh, reach me out in Instagram, say around arabi one word.

If they main mention your name and your podcast, they will get a 30 minutes, uh, complimentary session with me as well. Wow. Very cool. And Sarah, can you spell your name just for those that are listening? Yes. Sairan Aqrawi. S-A-I-R-A-N, A-Q-R-A-W-I. Wonderful. Well, this conversation was such a beautiful reminder that it's never too late to shift, grow, and step into your next bold chapter.

So thank you again for being here, Sairan. Thank you so much, Tracy, for having me. My pleasure. 

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