Stuck? You Probably Can’t Answer This Question

What Do You Actually Want?

Because you can’t get there if you don’t know where you’re going.

This week’s episode is a wake-up call for anyone who’s been chasing checkboxes and still feels off. We’re talking about clarity—the kind that changes everything. Why is this one simple question so hard to answer with any real honesty? And what happens when you do?

I’m sharing a personal story, a powerful exercise I did years ago that brought a very specific vision to life, and what I’d do differently now.

(Also: how Human Design helps you stop outsourcing your wants and start trusting what actually feels right in your body.)

If you’ve ever felt stuck, foggy, or just going through the motions… start here.

Your invitation this week?

Get brutally honest about what you want. Not the polished answer, the real one. I’ll walk you through a few questions to help get there.

Want More?

Grab your Human Design chart here

Want to unpack it together? Book a 1:1 session here

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Transcript

Ep. 26: What do you actually want?

[00:00:00] 

 Let me ask you something. What do you actually want? Like really want, if I gave you a blank slate, no rules, no expectations. What's the thing you'd say out loud with zero hesitation? And if you're drawing a blank or defaulting to a vague answer, you're not alone. See, recently in our book club. We are reading a book, and she started off by asking the question, what do you want?

And she explained how you have to get so crystal clear with this, [00:01:00] and you'd think that by now we'd all have that answer just dialed in. We could just say it with very little hesitation, but nope, most of us, there was just that hesitation. A lot of us have no clue. We're vague, we're scattered. And when I really sat with it, it made me think about, this is not my first rodeo with this question.

I once spent an entire weekend doing this intensive called Life book. Maybe you've heard of it. Now it's online. I think Mindvalley, um, partnered with the company and they have rights to it. But I was one of the lucky ones who got to experience Lifebook. In person in Chicago and what they used to call their chocolate lounge.

So it was an entire weekend dedicated to just this question, getting crystal clear on [00:02:00] what do you want, you walked through all of the areas of your life. There were 12 to be exact, and you just get crystal clear on what you want in each one, and I'll share the the categories with you in case you're curious, but it was health and fitness.

Intellectual, emotional character, spiritual love, parenting, social career, financial, quality of life and life vision. I left that weekend on fire. My vision was so clear. I had never done anything like that before. And you came out with this beautiful book and it was filled with, um, pictures and it was amazing.

So I, I wrote it all down. I felt it in my bones. Career check, finances, check the lifestyle I imagined and could only dream of check. And a few months later I was [00:03:00] living it, or at least parts of it were absolutely coming to life. But then I kind of realized something. I had built a life based on what I thought I wanted, not what I actually needed.

'cause I had never really asked myself how I wanted to feel. I got the title, the House, the Income. I created something from Lived experience, not necessarily from what my soul desired. I. I manifested the version of success I could imagine at the time, but not the version that actually lit me up. And I realized I should have spent less time on the details and more time asking who do I want to become and how do I want to feel, feel being the operative word there.

So even when I had, even when I realized that I. It [00:04:00] had what I asked for. It didn't. It didn't land the way I thought it would, and that's why asking what do you want is so much more loaded than it seems. You've gotta really kind of peel back the onion and all the noise. You've gotta get honest. You have to sit with it.

And this is huge. You have to learn to trust what your body is saying yes to. That question, what do you actually want? It sounds simple, but when I sat with it, I realized I didn't have a clear answer. So we've been kind of tapping into human design in the last few episodes, and you'll hear me reference it, you know, more and more as it applies to what we're talking about.

But again, it was one of the things that helped me get clear, and I mean, it continues to help me get clear. It's an ongoing experimentation, but it didn't give me the answer, but [00:05:00] it helped me finally start asking the right questions from a place that actually felt true in my body. It helped me tell the difference between what I thought I should want and what actually felt aligned, and that just made everything a little clearer.

So this week. I want you to ask the question to yourself, what do you actually want in your relationships, in your work, in your day-to-day life? And don't stop at freedom or peace or balance or happiness. Push yourself to get specific. Say the thing you don't usually say out loud, and if it feels hard to answer, that's okay.

Here are some clarifying questions to [00:06:00] explore to maybe help you get clear on what you actually want. Number one, what do I want more of and less of in my everyday life? Number two, where in my life do I feel most like myself? At least like myself. Number three, what do I daydream about when I'm not censoring myself?

Number four, if I didn't care what anyone thought, what would I go after? Number five, what's one area of my life that feels like a should and not a want? Number six. What kinds of moments make me feel alive? Calm, happy. Number seven. If I gave myself full permission, what would I admit? [00:07:00] I'm craving number eight.

What do I not want to repeat again this year? That's a good one. I just, you know, contrast is huge. It's huge. When you know what you don't want, you get real clear on what you do want. But number nine, how do I wanna feel when I wake up in the morning? And number 10, what's one small change I could make this week to move toward that feeling?

And if you want a tool that helps you remember who you were before the world trained it out of you. Grab your human design chart@abeautifulfix.com, or you can book a one-to-one session with me and let's walk through it together. You don't have to figure it all out. You just have to get a little more honest than you were yesterday. Until next time, stay high on life. [00:08:00] One beautiful fix at a time.