The Gift You Didn’t Ask For: When Rock Bottom Hands You a Ladder (with Alex Simms)

Sometimes the thing you swore you didn’t want… turns out to be the very thing that saves you.

In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Alex Simms, host of Cancer Cured Me. Alex shares how an uninvited diagnosis flipped her entire world upside down — but instead of breaking her, it became the ladder that helped her climb into a life she never imagined.

If you’ve ever faced something that felt like the end, this conversation will remind you: rock bottom might just be the beginning of your comeback.

Connect with Alex:

• Cancer Cured Me Podcast — all major platforms
• IG: @cancercuredme
• balancedbodyandretreats.com

Want More?

Grab your Human Design chart here

Want to unpack it together? Book a 1:1 session here

Subscribe to A Beautiful Fix on Apple or Spotify

Ready to feel more alive and aligned? Grab my free guide, Finding Your Beautiful Fix: Simple Shifts to Rediscovering Your Inner Power !

Subscribe to Tracy’s weekly Sunday Love Note, Thought Gems, at abeautifulfix.com—your weekly reminder to pause, breathe, and choose your focus.
to help you reset, reconnect, and rediscover what’s possible.

Support the Show

💕 Love this episode? Follow & leave a quick review—it helps others find A Beautiful Fix!

💬 Join the conversation on Instagram & Facebook @ABeautifulFix or find me on LinkedIn: Tracy Hill...

Transcript

The Gift You Didn’t Ask For: When Rock Bottom Hands You a Ladder (with Alex Simms)

[00:00:00] Today I am thrilled to be joined by someone whose story and spirit deeply align with everything The show is about Alexandra Sims. Alex is a wellness guide, intuitive coach, retreat creator, and the host of the podcast, cancer cured me after a breast cancer diagnosis turned her world upside down. Alex made a powerful decision not to return to normal, but to rebuild her life with peace, purpose, and a whole new perspective.

Today, she helps other midlife women do the same, whether they're recovering from illness, heartbreak, burnout, or simply asking that question so many of us have. Is this it through her retreats? Her courses and her growing podcast community, [00:01:00] Alex weaves holistic healing with grounded compassion to help women reconnect with themselves and create lives that actually feel like theirs.

She's also a mom of three. A sea air loving Labrador walking self-proclaimed a DHD brain, who is not afraid to go down. A good wellness rabbit hole. Alex, I'm so glad you're here. Welcome to a beautiful fix. Thank you, Tracy. What a beautiful introduction. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to, to have you here.

We have so many things in common and um. I do know from your human design that you are a manifesting generator. So the whole A DHD thing, I think you're just living your beautiful energy and you're pivoting and you're starting, and you're moving on once you've got the lesson. So yeah, I got [00:02:00] the lesson.

Let's dive in. Starting with that powerful turning point, the wake up call, take us back to your diagnosis. What was that moment like? And what shifted in you when you realized you didn't wanna go back to the way things were? Of course. I'm happy to share that with you. I mean, it's, uh. It was certainly something I wasn't expecting.

I will try and tell it as briefly as possible 'cause I can get carried away. A bit of a chatter. Take your time. Um, but yeah, I was sent an invitation to have a mammogram at the age of 45. And over here in the UK we normally don't receive our mammogram invitations till we're 50. So they call it a postcode lottery, a zip code lottery that they just send them to various places in the country just to sort of.

See what happens when they screen 46-year-old women. And I couldn't make the time that they sent me, so I missed it. And [00:03:00] thank goodness, a few days later, one of the nurses called me and said, you know, is there a reason why you missed it? Can you come along? And I was like, oh, okay. I just didn't really think I had to, 'cause in my head, no one in my family's ever had cancer.

I didn't think for a second I would get cancer. And I sort of went, oh, well, okay then. Ta ta, ta ta. Of course I'll come and have my mammogram. And off I went. And didn't think anything more of it until a week later I received a letter saying, um, we really need you to come back for further tests and we strongly advise you to bring a close friend or family member.

Oh yeah, mic dropping. And you like, oh, why would they say that? What's the reason for that? And I'm just not one of those people who thinks the worst. I really believe, oh, I'll be fine. I'll be fine. You know, nothing bad's gonna happen. And that really sort of set me on this path of. Oh my goodness. And my poor husband, he took me, he drew the short straw and um, they [00:04:00] kind of did the biopsy there and then they did another mammogram and it sort of all became very real, very quickly.

And the worst thing was, it was my husband's birthday and he said, this was the worst present you ever gave me. And in fact, it's literally, um, yesterday was the anniversary of finding out, yeah, it was his birthday yesterday as we're recording this. But it was that absolute. Like bolt of lightning where you just go, what?

And your world falls apart and you just have all these flashes. And anyone who's had this kind of diagnosis or you know, horrific, um, adversity in their lives will know that feeling where you think, no, I'm not ready. I'm not done. I'm, my children cannot live without their mother. I have three kids. They were young and I just, that was all I could think about was this, isn't it?

Like, I know I've got more, this is not me. I'm not done. And you know, and it's so sad [00:05:00] and so brutal that it takes something as powerful and shocking as a cancer diagnosis to really give you that wake up call. Um, but, but it, it's what? Obviously the universe just went, do you know what? She is not listening.

She's not living her life authentically. She's got so much healing to do that she's just pushing down and pushing down and pushing down. So we are going to give her the biggest wake up call we can without killing her, but she's gonna get the shock of her life. And that's really how I, I now see it. I very much, I've always been quite a positive person, but I didn't realize I was such a people pleaser.

I was such a, mm-hmm. Yeah, let's make sure everyone else is happy. Oh my gosh. Let's put everyone else first and then something like that happens. So yeah, it was Al. Alex, I just, I wanna dig in. So a couple of things. Did you say that you just came up on the one year anniversary? It's only, [00:06:00] no, it wasn't one year.

It's been, oh my goodness. Since the diagnosis, it's been eight years. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wow. Eight years. And, and what if I may ask what stage when they found the breast cancer, what stage were you at? That's so funny 'cause someone asked me that the other day and I said, you know what? Because I don't really do illness.

Okay. I don't think I know. I found out the type it was a, oh, a carcinoma, something. Anyway, it was serious. And I feel like stage two. Um, I mean, it was, I mean, here's, here's the thing. Here's where, you know, someone's looking out for you. So, you know, I didn't plan to go to that mammogram. I wasn't gonna go and I was 46.

And when I came round from the operation, um. At the start of my treatment, the physio took me for a walk and said to me, do you know how lucky you were that you were given this mammogram at 46? Because if you hadn't had it till you [00:07:00] were 50, you would've been riddled with cancer or you would have been dead.

So, I mean, I, I don't put too much emphasis on where it was. All I know is. It was enough of a, you know, because they said, you know, when you looked at the scan, you could just see this dark shading and they said, it's so deep rooted. You would never have had a lump. You wouldn't have found a lump. It was so deep rooted.

So, you know, someone was looking after me. Absolutely. That's, I mean, hearing the story, what made them send you an invitation to come in at 46 versus 50? I, did they ever explain why you. Yeah, so it's this thing that we do here. Um, and like I say, they call it a lottery, uh, uh, something that they test in certain areas of the country when they're bringing in new health plans.

And so we have the National Health Service here. So, you know, where we don't, we don't officially, you know, we don't have health insurance. You can have private health insurance, but everyone in this [00:08:00] country is looked after by the national, um, health service, and we are really proud of it. And obviously it's paid for by our taxes, et cetera.

But the, the policy is there is no mammogram for women until they're 50. Well, they sent all the women in my postcode, so my zip code, an invitation, and in my doctor's surgery alone, my doctor's practice, 20 women the same age as me, were picked up with breast cancer and in my son's class at school, three of us were picked up with breast cancer.

So. It's really shocking and it's no wonder they were looking at reducing. It was basically for them to see whether they wanted to reduce the age that they start offering mammograms. And so many people I know are very, very careful and they check their breasts and they do all those things, or they pay for a private scan because of course you can pay to go privately, you don't.

But it just wouldn't have been on my [00:09:00] radar that it was something I needed to worry about because there was no lump Right. That, that's simply amazing. Yeah. That, that they caught it so early. Yeah. Um, that's not the universe conspiring for you. I, I don't know what is. So, so you get this diagnosis then what?

How, where did you go from, from there? So from that, I mean, it all happens quite fast. Um, anyone who's been on this journey will know. It's sort of like, right, this is your treatment plan. This is what's gonna happen. Um, they operated pretty quickly, I think, well, actually, I'm saying that it was about, it was less than a month, and I can tell you that it was very uncomfortable because you're thinking, I've got this cancer inside me, and oh, I just, I don't want it to be there anymore.

But you know. I think my date was scheduled within a week, and then I got sick. I was really ill so they wouldn't administer the anesthetic while I was unwell. So that's why it got pushed back. And um, and it was all very [00:10:00] significant because they moved it to my wedding anniversary. So it was like all these key dates that you can't forget.

So that was what happened. I had the, the operation to remove it and that was all good. And then they started, I just. Um, had the radiotherapy, which began like a month, about another, I think you have to wait six weeks. And then that was prolonged. That went on for quite a few months, the radiotherapy, and it's, it's a, anyone who's been through it again, it's a very, I found it really lonely because they put you in this room and they all sort of go off quite a long way away.

'cause obviously no one wants to be near the radiation. And for me, um, and a lot of people don't know this because it was on the left. Um, so it's on the, you know, on the side of the heart I had to learn to do this breath hold to, um, so while they were kind of zapping me with the radiation so that it didn't hit your heart.

So you have to literally sort of, you're physically removing. The breath from the [00:11:00] heart by doing this breath hold technique. So I, and I always think, well, I think that might be where my love of breath work began, because I got really good at it and I realized that it was really quite powerful and in those kind of lonely moments, you know, my head would go off and I think it was the start breath work journey.

But yeah. And then I got to ring the bell several months later and was all clear, but there was a lot of thinking time. And a lot of things that became very apparent to me, things like how uncomfortable I was to receive help, you know, when people were running around and, and it suddenly became very clear to me that I had been the person who always needed to be the fixer and the helper.

And I wasn't very good when I was forced into this situation of it being the other way round. And that's kind of where it all began, where you've got some healing to do. So how did you get to that place of, um, rebuilding with. Having that peace and [00:12:00] perspective, like what did that, how did that look like?

You weren't used to, especially being a five one, you, you, your profile Again, we're talking about human design. I actually don't talk about human design a lot on the show, so Oh really? Okay. Yeah. A lot of people probably don't know what I'm even referring to, but um, it's basically an energetic blueprint.

But as a five one, your profile, that is what sometimes they call the savior. You are someone that people look to all the time. They project to you. You know how to fix this. You know how to do this. They turn to you. You've got the practical solutions. And what happens so much with people with that profile is it can be overwhelming.

It's a beautiful energy to have, but you have to be very protective of it because just because you can do everything does not mean that you should always be doing everything. So I can only imagine what that felt like. So how did you go from being the doer and the fixer and the person with the practical solutions to allowing others to help you through this journey?

That's so interesting. Thank you for [00:13:00] sharing that because yeah, I had zero boundaries, no boundaries. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And I realized I was quite codependent that I needed people to need me. And that's been my safety mechanism my whole life. I mean, there is so much we could unpack here, but you probably haven't got long enough because all the things came up.

Um, so no, what, I mean, I did, I don't think I realized it at that level at that time, other than this discomfort and. I think I was just intuitively drawn to various healing modalities. The first one was, um, I went into, I started having reflexology, um, which as we know, you know, is a beautiful practice and using the meridian points.

And, um, the, the woman who would treat me, um, was called qualified 'cause there's a lot you can't have when you're in the middle of cancer treatment. But she was able to treat cancer patients and she was starting to tell me, oh my gosh, there's. There's a lot of, you know, um. Unhealed this in your liver [00:14:00] and this in your kidneys, and, and I'm finding all this, um, unspoken emotion and dah dah, you know, there was just, I mean, the feet, you know, they tell this incredible story and I don't know enough about, I mean, I'm not a practitioner myself, but I was fascinated and I was sort of slightly panicking.

Go, what does she mean? What does she mean? What's in my liver? And I, and you know, they all represent different emotions that are held in the body and. It was so fascinating to me. And so I had that for a while and then, I mean, I was really, really led. Intuitively, no one was saying, you must try this and you must try this.

And I found someone who was a Reiki healer, and I dunno why. I just thought I'd never had reiki. I didn't really know much about it, and I was drawn to this lady and I absolutely loved it, and I didn't know what she was doing. But all I knew was when I went there and I talked to her and then she would treat me and I would have my eyes closed.

I had no idea what was happening. And again, she would say to me afterwards, [00:15:00] there's this bar across your throat. Your throat chakra is so blocked, and you know this is all representing. Not speaking your truth, not, you know, not feeling safe to speak your truth. And you know, that was really the beginning of it and for me.

And there was one session where she said like, I've removed this bar from your throat. And I had this really sore throat for about three or four days. And then I realized that all my life I'd suffered with tonsillitis and which obviously is a massive clue, isn't it? That. Throat shack were problems. And at 30, which is so rare, they removed my tonsils because it was still causing me so much trouble.

And I don't even know if they still removed tonsils, but it used to be a thing that all kids in England had their tonsils. Yeah, they do. But to have it done at 30 was really barbaric and it was horrific and it got infected and it was just awful. Um, I think I had a bit of a breakdown [00:16:00] around it when I look back on it.

And so, of course, you know, this reiki was revealing all these problems and a lot of stuff with the root chara and I, I dunno how much your listeners know about reiki, but it's very much, you know, energy healing working through Yes. Um. Helping with each of the seven chakras. So from that point, I got so much out of it and it revealed so much to me, and I knew that this was somewhere that I really wanted to go into myself.

And she said to me, do you know, I do think you'd be an amazing healer yourself. You know, you've got a lot of. I can see your gifts are there. And, and I ended up then training and becoming a Reiki healer myself, which was never on my radar. I just didn't know anything about this world of energy and the spiritual side of things.

And it just brought me so much comfort and joy to then have that ability myself. Um, and I got really, really brave and I ended up going from being in this nine to five job, which is just. Been fitting around my children. It [00:17:00] wasn't really my true passion, it was just working in a school where it fitted in with school holidays and, you know, it was that basic that it was that old question of, is this really it?

You know? Mm-hmm. Is this how you know? I'd had a fabulous career in my twenties and thirties, um, as a, I was an events producer, an organizer, and I loved it. It was so fun. But when you have children, you know, it doesn't really fit in being away for weeks on end and. I sort of got into this job, which was fine.

I just thought, oh, well, this is just what I'm gonna do until I retire, and that's okay. I had my fun in my twenties and thirties. Yes, no. Then this big wake up call and all this healing I was doing was like, no, you really are meant to do so much more. Like you really have got some gifts to share with this world, and that's uncomfortable for you right now, but keep going, keep going.

And that's what I did. I just kept. Learning. And I realize, and you might say, again, this is part of my human design type. I can't stop learning, I [00:18:00] don't wanna go back to school, but I love being in this world. And then I, you and I both know Kathy Heller, I found Kathy Heller, who you know, is this wonderful coach and spiritual teacher.

Oh my goodness. She changed everything for me. And she had this program called, you know. Um, I was gonna say, her podcast was called Don't Keep Your Day Job, but it was, um, oh my God. How has it gone out in my head? I know exactly what made to do this, made to do this. Thank you. Yes. I'm literally seeing the initials and going, what was it made to do this?

Thank you. Yes. And, and, and then I just, yeah. And, and it, all, the stuff dropped into me throughout this sort of 12 week process of, and I left my, by the end of it, I'd left my day job. I'd set up my own wellness business. I got into lymphatic drainage as a, um, lymphatic drainage mass because again, something that I wouldn't have found had I not had cancer, because they highly recommend that you, you know, you really look after your lymphatic system afterwards, um, so that you don't get [00:19:00] lymphedema.

And yeah, it just, honestly, it was like, and, and I know and I always say, you know, cancer cure me could be a really triggering. Title or name for people, but that's, that's my experience. And I have all the compassion for anyone who's going through a cancer journey or who's lost someone, because we all have, and it's horrific.

And I know that I'm so lucky and blessed, but I really have to make the most of the fact that I was saved and that I'm here to help teach this because I genuinely believe, you know, the cancer hit me because I just was living. So out of alignment and my body was so inflamed, my nervous system was so dysregulated.

So of course you get dis-ease, you know? So, so that's my work now. So my work now is very much a wellness practice and helping others not get to that stage. It is almost like, you know, I've had cancer, so you don't have to, you can do all the work so that your body doesn't get to that point where. It throws this massive brick at you, [00:20:00] Alex.

This is the most amazing story ever. It's just an amazing story, really. I don't mean to make light of anything of what you've just shared, but from the moment of getting the early diagnosis, that is not normal. The, the timing around it that you won this kind of lottery to, you know, figuring out to you intuitively.

Being led to these holistic modalities that you weren't really aware of, no one was necessarily guiding you. Side note, I did not realize reflexology told you all that information. I literally just thought it was acupressure points in the bottom of your feet and you could manipulate them and it would trigger things in your body.

I didn't know that it told you information. I'm telling you that whole Eastern world, I'm convinced in a past life I absolutely lived it. 'cause I just resonate so deeply. Yeah. But then to go into reiki, something you weren't, weren't necessarily familiar with, but for it to do what it did for you, then you become a Reiki practitioner.

Leading into the, the lymphatic [00:21:00] drainage, which I'm slightly obsessed with a little bit these days. I have a vibrating plate that I do to shake up and I slap my legs. I try to do as much. Yes. My son is a, is um, will be a nurse soon. He just graduated. He's taking his nursing exam. Oh, wow. And he was telling me, mom, your lymphatic.

System doesn't drain, it doesn't have the circulatory system like the, the, the blood. Yeah. And when he told me that, I was like, like, I never thought about something. Just, no. It doesn't have a pump. It doesn't have a pump. It's not a pump. No. We have the heart. We have the heart for the blood. Yeah. Right. But.

So when you said lymphatic drain, I'm all over the place, but I'm just so, I'm so in your story, so with, when you mentioned lymphatic drainage, how do you practice that? Are you like a, a masseuse or how, what does that look like? Well, I have to be very honest and say that I cheat. So I do know a lot of, I can do a lot of manual.

Lymphatic drainage myself, I have learned it, but I haven't learned it, so [00:22:00] I have to be really careful what I say here because to learn it properly. Is quite a, a very specialist skill and certainly at the time when I was looking for it, I couldn't find anyone and I was told that you have to train in Switzerland and it's like 20,000 pounds and all these things, and it's very, very difficult to learn, but it's not what people think.

It's super and your, someone know this. The, the lymph fluid is literally just below the skin and it's very, very gentle and we don't need to do very much to, to move it. We can do it. And so the massage is very, very light. So because I couldn't find anyone who could offer it, I found this incredible system called, it's actually called the Body Balancer, which is, um, a medi medical grade compression therapy, and you almost put on this giant suit.

It was a huge investment, but I invested because I was like, I am never getting cancer again. I will do everything to heal my body. And I, I bought it from the, [00:23:00] um, the UK owner of Body at Balancer and we actually became, we became friends and she said to me. It is really interesting. I said, look, I want it for myself, but I feel like I'm gonna start it as a business and I'm gonna start offering it as a small business.

She said, no one's ever done that. We've only ever sold it into clinics because it's often when people have had surgery or maybe cosmetic surgery and things like that. Um, then they have it there for their patients to then, um, have the lymphatic drainage because it's like a compression therapy that you would receive in hospital to prevent, um, DVT and things like that.

So just to get everything flowing again. So it's amazing, but it was a huge investment. But to me. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. It really helped me. And what was happening was I was using it and people were saying, oh my gosh, you know, you look like you've lost weight. And I said, no, I haven't.

It's just that I haven't got all this excess fluid and I've just got this lovely piece of kit. And anyway, I went on to start, start offering it as a business because so many people wanted [00:24:00] to try it. So I was combining that with the reiki and yeah, and from there, all the things happened. So. Yeah, but it's lovely.

It's a, and I still to this day treat people and it's wonderful. I mean, it's one of those things. Jennifer Aniston has one Lady Gaga has one. Christy, Christy, Tegan has one. I mean, apparently at the Oscars, everyone's in their body balancer beforehand, you know? Draining, draining, draining. What that one? Yeah.

Gosh. It's called the Balancer Pro in the States. I think it's B-A-L-L-A-N-C-E-R. Um, Paris Hilton does a lot of work with them. She swears by it. Um, but yeah, it's a lovely, lovely piece of kit. And you know what, and it's brought me, again, it's this, this alignment, the people who've come to me for treatment and it's been such an honor to treat them.

People who've also had cancer or gone on these journeys, but it's brought me some of my now closest friends because you meet all these really aligned people who. Want to come and help their bodies, you know, they're sort of past that stage of, oh, I'm [00:25:00] so young and nothing will ever affect me. And then you get into menopause and go, oh my God, what can I do?

That's a holistic treatment and looking, as you obviously experienced, the lymphatic system is, you know, in Ayurvedic medicine, the fountain of life, because if it stopped working, we would literally die within 24 hours. So yeah, we don't appreciate how important it is. So a couple of things. It's beautiful.

The reframe you have done in your life from the moment that you know, I heard about your podcast cancer cured me. It just kind of stopped me. Like I, I just went through, I lost my mother-in-law, um, last year to cancer and I was there for her during her journey and going, taking her to the hospital and she had the most beautiful spirit similar to you.

Her outlook was. Amazing. She would make the nurses laugh and the doctors laugh and make them feel good. And no matter how serious the conversation was that we were talking about, she [00:26:00] just had this beautiful spirit about her. But the reframe that you have put on cancer, being able to see, there's, I, I believe there's a gift in almost everything.

And I know that word gift and cancer together, I, I don't mean to make light of it at all, but for you to be able to have the. Just the openness to receive that. Could there be a gift in this, could there and reframe it? And it led you on this journey and each piece led you to new work and brought new people into your life.

I, it's just, it's such a beautiful way to look at it. But my, Alex, my next question for you is, at what point did you realize that you weren't necessarily doing this just for you that. Uh, you were going through this and experiencing this and this was something that you felt that you wanted to share with others?

Yeah. That's such a good question. [00:27:00] I feel like it was probably when, I mean, I was very much in this sort of. Rabbit and headlights at the beginning because you know, to suddenly be told, oh, this part of your body's not happy and this part, you know, and you think, I thought I was doing all right, you know, dah, dah, dah, dah.

I was, you know, I thought I was okay and, and so. That initial healing journey over those first few years was very much all about me. It was all, you know, and that was uncomfortable. Just that the fact that I was doing so much for myself and God, you know. Sorry, I'm going for another Reiki session. Another one?

Yes. Another one. Like, who am I to go and have another Reiki session? And, and it, you know, the fact that I was having it weekly and I, I, at the beginning was feeling guilty for spending this money on myself. And, but I was, and I'm so glad that I did and. And I then realized, so you know, it is so beautiful the way it all works.

And when you sort of zoom out and look in, you go, oh, that's why you did that and that's why you did that. And [00:28:00] because I'd organized events all my life, I can do that standing on my head. And I don't think of that as a particular gift or a superpower until people say to me, oh my God. Yeah. But you can organize things so easily.

And to me that's really overwhelming and difficult. And I think, no, it's. Really simple, like it's no big deal. And so when I came into this wellness space and started to embrace all these incredible modalities and meet all these wonderful people who were coming to me as clients, I realized that I could bring that all together to help other people.

Because what was happening was they were coming into my space and I was kind of coaching them while they were there. And. Then someone would come the next week and say, I left my job. And I was like, oh God, is that because of what I was saying? And yeah, because what you said makes total sense to me. And and I now started to think, really, if she can do it, you know I can do it.

And she's right. And I've had cancer too. And do you know what? And I'm really sick of doing that, and [00:29:00] I don't think I should be doing that anymore. And I know that there's more for me. And this became a thing that just kept happening. With my clients and because I'm such a chatter anyway, you know, we'd have these talks and sometimes they'd come for an hour and it would end up three hours.

I mean, that still happens now. No surprises. And it's beautiful. And I get and, and I can say I'm helping other people, but I get so much from it and I realize that this is my absolute purpose is to change from being a people pleaser. In the way that means no boundaries, not looking after self, you know, putting everyone else first to change, to really helping people in such a gorgeous way that it makes me feel amazing and it's helping them.

And so that then sort of turned into organizing retreats because I, I love the whole concept of retreats and that whole thing of literally retreat from. Everyday life and just stop and be present and look at [00:30:00] what's going on without all your labels of, I'm a mom, I'm a friend, I'm a sister, I'm a wife, I'm a, you know, whatever you are, just be you.

Maybe take your phone away if you're gonna really go for it, and just be in that space with like-minded people and experience these modalities, this healing that you just might not have come to. And you know, I get feedback like, that day changed my life or that retreat changed my, and there is no greater gift than knowing that you are helping people have that wake up call without them having to get cancer, without them having to have someone leave them or whatever that may be.

And it's like, yes, I just, and I'm just on this mission to literally, and I sound so evangelical about it, but I, it's my absolute passions that I want people to know this stuff. And that's why, you know, the podcast obviously came about because I've got a lot to say. And I want to share all the amazing, positive messages, and that's me.

Well, and what I love about it, Alex, is you're really using your [00:31:00] energy in such a beautiful way because you are helping people still. You, you've, your whole life, you've done that, but you're helping people help themselves. And that's a different kind of energy. Yeah. It's giving to them, but then they are in a space where then they can help themselves.

It's not constantly coming back to the Alex well and saying, great, can you continue doing for me? So. Yeah. Um, yeah. You're so right. I'm so glad you saw that so clearly because I didn't see that. Yes. I didn't see that. It's like, no, they'll only be okay if I keep doing it for them. Right. No, no, no, no. And it was funny to, to go back when you said that you, you cheat it with the lymphatic drainage.

That's such a manifester generator thing. 'cause, because manifesting generators, you guys are brilliant at seeing, being efficient and cutting out steps. So where someone may say, you need to do all of these things. It's like, yeah, no, I'm just gonna go ahead and just cut right to this. So all I'm just, I'm saying this because the beauty of human design [00:32:00] is it just gives you permission to be exactly who you are.

And Alex, you're doing it beautifully and all of the things, you know, its just good to feel that you're doing exactly, exactly what you need to be doing. Oh, thank you. I love that so much because it was a few years work for me. I can tell you that. It's so interesting. You obviously picked up on it straight away.

And that the fact that I said cheating, because I sort of talk about, yes, I do lymphatic drainage massage, but because I don't physically do anything, I had so much guilt around that, and then people kept saying to me, hang on a minute. You've invested thousands and thousands of pounds. Do you have this piece of kit?

Okay, you started off investing in yourself, but you are now helping other people with it. And actually. You are the one bringing people in. They don't know about it. You are the one, you know, telling them about it, and they come in and then they stay for you. They stay for you because you know you are the one then bringing this experience and, and I did.

I had to really have this whole mindset shift [00:33:00] of you're not just literally. Putting them in, you know, it's a whole experience. So yeah, I do acknowledge that I have made it simpler and I love that. That's my, I'm loving this human design angle. It's so good. There's so much I wanna ask you. Um, but yeah, that's fascinating.

Yeah. We found that we find the sort of, the quick way of doing it and not going off and training in Switzerland for 20,000 pounds on how to do it properly. Right? What is that? Yes. No, I think manifester generators are my, are my favorite. Although there's not one particular human design. One is not ever better than the other, but there's something about manifester generators.

But so you work with women in midlife who feel like something's missing. We talked about this and asking that question. Is this it? I mean, that was the question that just, you know, drove me to doing what I'm doing, um mm-hmm. Whether it's burnout or heartbreak or illness, but. What do you notice shows up most often and what's your, your favorite place to begin with them when you, when you're working with [00:34:00] women that are feeling that way.

Mm. Do you know what shows up most often? Is, is they're just so lost as their children grow up? Yeah. They're just so lost because we're all, we are all, we can all see it and I wanna say we are guilty of it, but it's not guilt we are. Very maternal creatures and you know, and once you become a mother, you identify as a mother and you'll always be a mother.

But when those children don't need you, or they grow up and they start to fly the nest of something, we do lose our identity a little bit and. You know, this empty nest syndrome and all the, the ways that it's described is real, right? It's real because it's often at the same time of life that we're going through menopause and having all these hormonal fluctuations, and sometimes it can put pressure on a marriage, and that's kind of where it normally begins, and that's what we look at, first of all, because.

[00:35:00] It's reestablishing your identity as who you really are in your soul. Like who is the soul? Who is, what is your soul purpose? What have we come here for? And of course, with so many people, of course, you were meant to come and be a mother with other people. No, you, you didn't want to be a mother, and that's absolutely perfect for you.

And. There is no right or wrong answer, but it's getting to that heart and it's different for everyone. I can't say, I mean, I can say in general, yeah, it's moms who are going through menopause and they are lost, right? Yes. They're lost. Yes. And now I just, I'm so lucky because I have had that journey certainly on the menopause front and that was a big part of what happened after cancer.

'cause it happened really fast and really furiously whole nother story there. Whole nother episode. Um. But I found so many things and so many natural remedies and so many wonderful things that helped me also, um, with that. So we can go all the way. I mean, it might be that I'm just talking [00:36:00] to women about balancing blood sugars as a starting point because they're so outta whack, um, just from that point.

And they dunno why they feel so drained all the time. And it's like, well, maybe if you just had a savory breakfast, you know, all the things that we know are out there, but it's what's genuinely worked for me. And then we can start looking at. Your beliefs and who you think you are and why you think that.

You know, I have so many women who will cancel their appointments at the last minute because someone needed them. Yeah. And I'm like, did you really think it was more important? Did you not think they would fix it? Did you not put any importance on this appointment where we are gonna focus on you? And of course, that's so uncomfortable for them.

That's so uncomfortable. And I. Get that. 'cause that's where I was. And it's not saying that I would never do that again because there will be times when I will say no, I do have to put my child first, even though they're grown up. So yeah, it, it's that. And we are human, right? We are [00:37:00] human and we have a lot of conditioning and we have a lot of unpacking to do.

And there's so much, you know, there's the subconscious piece, isn't there? There's that, all those subconscious beliefs that were. Founded at such young ages, and that's been a massive part for me as well, that you know, I believe that I had to be nice to everyone and look after them, otherwise they'd leave me, you know, the whole abandonment piece.

And it's very hard to unlearn that. But I believe that we all capable of doing it. And it doesn't have to be just through talking. There's so many other beautiful ways of, of healing, and that is the work. That is the work is unlearning unbecoming, deconditioning, because we all have it. It's all there, and I think a lot of women struggle with that self care.

We see it as being selfish. I know for me, for years, that was the one thing I could scratch off my list and not feel guilty [00:38:00] about, and I thought it was brilliant, but it doesn't make any sense. You have to pour into yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself, for you to show up for others. A hundred percent.

A hundred percent. And, and I'm, you know, to this very day, I had a crazy day today and I'm really honest about it, that, you know, my absolute, um, non-negotiable is that I do my breath work and I do different breath work most days, but there's some stuff that I have to do every day and I have to get outside and have a walk.

And I was actually really struggling with some allergies this morning with, you know, hay fever season and all of that, and I felt dreadful and I couldn't. I couldn't do the breath work in the way that I would normally do it, and I thought, I'm not gonna go outside because if I go outside, I'm gonna have red eyes and I'm recording today and all these things.

Oh my gosh, my day did not go as well. I can tell you I was not coming from a regulated place because you know, it's not that we are fixed and then that's it, and then you never have to do it anything again. As you as you know, it's constant. It's [00:39:00] ongoing work. It's ongoing work. And I talk about it all the time on the podcast because I just have to keep saying, guys, this stuff really works.

But you do have to keep doing it. It won't just, you know, it won't just go away and, oh, well, I've done breath work now, so I don't have to do that. No, keep coming back to it. Keep doing whatever it is that works for you to keep yourself in a regulated place and then you show up better in the world. I, I consider it almost an en energetic hygiene.

It's after being in Kathy Heller's world. We think about working out and eating right and all of that, and that's so important. But man, your energy, what you do every day for your energy is probably the most important thing. So, and I, something I struggle with. I am not naturally someone who, um, meditates and does breath work and yoga.

I have to. For not force myself, but I have to prioritize it and yeah. You know, it was funny because before we got on this, we [00:40:00] had a little bit of tech issues. And normally Tracy probably six months ago, would've freaked out. I would've just, but I started off my morning with breath work and I meditated and I listened to one of Kathy's meditations.

And then I was on a call with Kathy where she put us through, you know, meditation and I was in such a place of just zen. That when I came down and it was time to record with you, my mic wasn't working and I didn't get flustered. I mean, it wasn't ideal. And then I hopped on with you and we couldn't hear each other.

And you know, it's when you work with your energy and you get that in the right place, things flow. There's so much more ease. Yeah. Things tend to work out, so it's it's worth it. Yeah. Oh my God, a hundred percent. I absolutely agree with everything you said, and it is like we were both really chill. It's like, yeah, it's, it's, it's a bit annoying and that, you know, we are podcasters and these things happen and, and it's [00:41:00] okay and no one's getting across and we got there and we are here now, so, yeah, exactly.

It's great. It's what we need bit of, and we did some breath work together before, didn't we? Just to, we did arrive in the moment and ground after. The technical, the technical issues we did, and, and I'm a little embarrassed, Alex, I didn't realize you were a breath work facilitator. I, I was. No, no, no. It's just No, no.

Not at all. No, not at all. I'm not, I'm, I very much love breath work. I'm not a facilitator. I do, I always bring it into practice. Practice because there's some really simple techniques that I love, but you know, I go on breath work retreats. I have breath work at all my retreats, and it's just, for me, it's been the absolute best thing ever.

It has. So much for me without having to talk about any of it. I, I, I agree. I, um, have been doing breath work for probably about a year now with a couple of different people, and the experience is amazing and mm-hmm. Um, I just had someone on my podcast who was [00:42:00] talking about it, but what she explained that we, we.

Tend to breathe pretty shallow. We don't think about the way we breathe. Um, but when you take deep breaths, especially when you let the exhale go longer than the inhale mm-hmm. You're just signaling to your nervous system that you're safe. Yeah. And so it's something that I just try to incorporate a lot because there's no reason for the amount of stress that we, you know, bring to things.

But Alex, I did wanna ask you about your retreats. You mentioned retreats. I love retreats. I did one, um, earlier this year. I was talking with my retreat partner just yesterday. We're. We're thinking about, you know, what our next one's gonna be and planning it, but what are your retreats like? Do you bring all of these healing modalities on your retreat?

Are they all different? Yeah. Yeah. I tend to, I, I, I have my go-tos. Like I say, there's always breath work because it just creates such an amazing shift for people. It's just the, for me, it's just the quickest way to change date and to release. Move on another one and what's [00:43:00] what's working out beautifully now is the next retreat that I'm hosting will have a lot of the guests that I've had on the podcast will be the teachers.

And that's what I love because I don't proclaim to be, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to teach everything. I don't want to spend my time training to teach everything when I know there's such incredible teachers out there. What I know, my skillset is bringing the people together. Yes, I, I can do the coaching and that kind of thing, but I love bringing these amazing teachers in who I just consider the absolute specialists 'cause they get such great results for everyone.

So the um, EFT tapping is another one of our favorites. Yes. So good and so good. And just the work that you can do around that. So, you know. We've all, we've always sort of used a workbook alongside it and done a lot of, you know, sort of setting intentions and said, you know, and dah, dah, dah. And then you program it and then you do the, the whole tapping piece.

Um, sound healing is huge [00:44:00] for me in my world. I'm lucky enough to have, I'm a very, very, very close friend who is an incredible sound healer, and so she hosts sound baths every month. And in fact, recently she's trained in, um, sound massage. So she actually, the bowls go, she's an intuitive healer, so the bowls, she moves them around your body onto, you know, the different chakras and the just, oh, the vibration straight into your body is amazing.

So I'm delighted to say that she's gonna be at the next retreat doing her beautiful work. Um, I have. A co. Oh, I have coaches, um, who specialize in empowering women and there's lots of different people coming in. We're even gonna do some Ayurvedic cooking. I mean, yeah, I, I'm quite intuitively guided to what I think it's gonna look like.

Um, we are gonna do some wild swimming. I love a bit of cold water swimming, strange person that I am, and that's so invigorating. I love [00:45:00] dancing. So there'll be some of that, you know, shifting the energy and. Yeah. All, all of that lot, there'll be so much more. Um, but it's just gonna be a beautiful three days of healing all of that in three days.

I know. It is, it is jam packed. I know, I know. Don't worry. I'm still looking at the timings. It may not, we may have to switch it up, but yeah, it's all gonna be there. That sounds amazing. And breathwork, well, did I say, I must have said breathwork. Yeah. Yes, we kicked it off. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Well, so, um, I definitely wanna give you time to kind of tell everybody where they can find you and find out about your amazing retreats.

But before we go into what I call my beautiful fixed speed round, which is not fast, is there anything else, Alex, that we haven't talked about today that you would love to share? Oh, thank you. Oh, yeah, I mean, something that I've now started doing because. There's obviously just one of me and I can only see, you know, so many people in my, with [00:46:00] my treatments and coaching in person.

So I'm moving into now offering. Courses and sort of the signature one is the Pain to purpose course, which is very much obviously around all the things we've talked about. So something that um, you know, you can have for yourself to guide yourself through with lots of videos of me chatting away, obviously teaching all the stuff, but it's very much in your time because it takes everyone a different amount of time to do the work and I can.

So I've sort of designed it exactly how I would've wanted someone to have done it for me. 'cause one of my other missions in life is to help people after coming through a cancer journey, just because that's so personal to me. And my ultimate goal is to host these retreats for people to come away having gone through a cancer journey.

And if they're like me and they come out the other side going, oh my God, I need to change my life. It [00:47:00] wasn't working for me. And I want those people to not have to pay, to come away to do these kind of events. I want to get funding from, you know, big companies and whoever it might be, who might want to invest, and that's my ultimate goal is to offer these as a really normal thing so that everyone's offered this healing that is so important rather than just, oh, here's another tablet.

Take this prescription. Yeah, let's just numb the pain rather than let's get to the root cause and then heal so that you can move forward with a beautiful life. That's my goal. So yeah, the course are a part way there. So those courses are available, the retreats and then the podcast. Um, so yeah, again, the podcast is, we dipped in and out of is very much.

Um, it was, it came about in January. Launched in January, and it's just got so many lovely guests on there. I mean. I'm sort of getting up towards 30 episodes now, so it's been a amazing experience doing that and having wonderful guests on talking about all the things with such [00:48:00] diverse subjects, but generally all coming back to, you know, living your best life and how you can heal and what's out there that people might have never come across before.

So, yeah. Yes. Well, people, we'll, we'll include all of that in the show notes. Um, thank you. And I want that for you because if you could help people who are going through cancer reframe it the way you have, I mean, that's, that's so, that's so powerful. And for them to come out on the other end in a totally different head space, a totally different state.

Yeah. Completely different lifestyle. Recognizing, you know, what they can do. To just make the next part of their lives more beautiful. Yeah, I mean, that's, that's huge. So, yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. And you know, I firmly believe that we, we go through these things in life, these really painful experiences, but there will always be the learning.

And it's how you choose to do that learning and how you choose to [00:49:00] reframe. A and to get the lesson. Yeah. So many people don't get, they just don't get it. Oh yeah. Yeah. And if you are one of those people who say, of course that happened to me, oh my God, I was always gonna be the one to get cancer. Oh my God, I was always gonna be the everything.

Nothing ever works out for me. And you know, we, we know for a while how this works. You are just programming that into your, your subconscious. So let's not do that. Let's make it work the other way. Oh. Love it. Alright, well time for our beautiful fixed speed round. So just answer with the first thing that comes to mind.

Okay? Okay. Okay. So what, what makes you come alive? What makes me come alive, and I'm, I've said this many times because it's always my go-to, is literally out the back of my house, there's this beautiful field and I walk my dog, my beautiful Labrador Max. I'm out there with him every day and. It's like a spiritual practice.

I am just revived and, and [00:50:00] I walk there so often and it never ceases to make me smile and feel really connected, you know? And I'd often just take my shoes off and walk on the grass if it's not raining, which obviously that does happen in this country.

I love it. Nature and grounding. Love it. Yeah. What's, what's a song that instantly shifts your mood or makes you feel something? There's a clue here if people are seeing it on video, which they may not be. Oh, yeah. Dancing Queen. Dancing Queen by Abba, which is above my head. That's, I can't believe I'm just noticing that.

Yeah. Dancing Queen by Abba. So when I was seven, and this is my claim to fame, my dad surprised me and my sister and took us to Wembley Stadium, uh, Wembley Arena to see Abba in concert. My gosh. I was like, that's just insane that I got to see them when I was seven. Seven, because I just, yeah. And, and I was obsessed and I still to this day, that [00:51:00] initial piano Oh, love it.

Just dancing all the way. It's such a great song. Oh, so good. Is there a book that cracked you open or stayed with you long after the last page? Oh God, there could be so many. Couldn't there. But do you know what one that really, and I, I dunno if it was because I read it at the time of my life that I was in, which was sort of around this whole healing time and it was the Glennon Doyle book.

The Untamed Yes. And I love her. Obviously I'd never heard of her, but there was so much in that book that I could relate to this, you know, putting everyone first and. Not being her authentic self and feeling like she just had to do this because that's what was right for the kids. And actually when she got so brave, and you know, obviously I appreciate, not everyone knows the book, but you know, and she found her true self and she spoke out and she, I mean, look at her life now.

I mean, she's just, she's always, she's in flow. I mean, she's so real as [00:52:00] well. 'cause she's very honest that it's not always good. But I just, I always go back to that book. I love it. I love that book. I loved it so much. I devoured it and immediately sent it to, um, one of my dear, dear, dear friends, just instantly just, it showed up in her, her box.

It was, there was a line in there and I can't remember it, but it's, it just, it was something like, I'm, I am giving up being the good girl so that I can live my life. Completely butchered that, but it was something along those lines. Yeah, no, that message, a hundred percent, no longer. Yeah, hundred percent.

Such a good book. Such a good book, yeah. Okay. Yeah. What's your favorite little indulgence or guilty pleasure? Something that just brings you joy when you say something that brings you joy. 'cause obviously, I wanna say chocolate. Yeah, because I'm mostly, I'm trying, I'm trying not to say chocolate because I know sugar's not really my friend.

But do you know what? I have this really, and this is a proper guilty [00:53:00] pleasure Virgin River on Netflix. Have you ever seen Virgin River? No. I'm gonna write that down. So Virgin River is the cheesiest program filmed in the most beautiful location. And it's so funny because I really connect with women when they say, have you ever watched Virgin River?

And I'm like, I love it. It's so, it's just so beautiful where it's set. I think it's all filmed in Canada and um. It, it is just, yeah, it's cheesy and I love it, and, and, and the children know not to disturb me when I'm watching Virgin River and. So much so that we are going to Canada on holiday this year and my husband, my birthday's at the end of August and we are going to, I mean, this won't mean anything to you, but um, we're going to the cafe that's in the show for my lunch, for my birthday lunch.

Oh. Which is making me so happy. I'll have to check. Is it a comedy or a drama? Or drama? It's drama. Drama, but it's super lighthearted and Okay. Many very smart [00:54:00] women I know. Watch it. And so I feel like that's okay. Yes, it is. Escapism. I think it was one of those ones that we found in lockdown and it's carried on.

You have to have escapism. Absolutely. Absolutely. And you've gotta love every minute of it. Yes, yes. No guilt. No guilt. So my final question, this is a new one. I, I changed this one out 'cause this is really the, just behind my brand, a beautiful fix. So you're the first one to try this one out, but, oh, what's one thing that always reminds you how beautiful life really is?

So this is always gonna be my, where my heart sings. Is when all three of my children are together and the three of them, they, I'm very lucky they get on very, very well, even though very different ages. But when they are belly laughing together, they are [00:55:00] probably at me, you know, most of the time probably something that moms are, but when they are all up and I'm just, oh.

How lucky am I to have brought these three gorgeous creatures into the world? And they get on and their laughter is the most beautiful sound to my ears. It just, oh, it literally makes my heart see that and walking by the sea. I love being, I don't live anywhere near the sea, but I love being near the sea.

But yeah, my children, my children, when they're laughing together. That is a beautiful answer. First of all, just seeing all of your children as they get older together absolutely is amazing. And then hearing them, overhearing them laughing, seeing them laughing is amazing. And your children, they have a word for when they're together.

Si. I wanna say, oh, the sibs. I want it. What is, what was that? Oh, you were definitely listening to my podcast with Kathy. Yes. Oh yeah. My sibs. The sibs. We need to be the sib, like I just need sibs time with the siblings. I love that. Yeah. No, they do. They really love each other. I mean, God, don't get [00:56:00] me wrong, they can, uh, have their moments, but.

Yeah. And you know, and you just kind of go, I've done something. Right? 'cause they all get on, thank God. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because we can be so hard on ourselves. But yeah, they get on well, I'm gonna keep that sibs time because I have all boys and whenever they're doing something together, I'll sneak and say, are you guys brothering?

I just turned it into a verb. Oh, brothering. It drives them crazy. They hate it. And they're like, mom. I'm like, okay. And then I run out and be like, are you brothering? But sibs time. That is, that is adorable. Oh, oh, I love that. Oh, I like Brothering, but I can't have brothering because there's only one boy.

Well, they wouldn't appreciate it anyway. It's very irritating to them. But that's part of the, we just, that's what we do best that night, don't we? Embarrass them and annoy them. We are great. Exactly. Well, Alex, thank you for being here, for sharing so openly and for showing us that [00:57:00] sometimes the thing we think will break us, oh, I'm gonna get, actually becomes the doorway to the most beautiful fix of all.

Can you just share, you touched on a little bit, but can you just share where listeners can find you and your retreats and of course your podcast? Thank you. Yeah, of course. The podcast is Cancer Cured Me and that's on all of the places where you can hear your podcast, apple, Spotify, Amazon, all of those.

And my Instagram is also at Cancer Cured Me or one word and then, um, and I'm dunno whether I should be changing this, but my website is balanced body and retreats.com. That's where you can find out all the other work that I do. Mm-hmm. And Yes, and that's where all my online stuff is, so thank you. But yeah, wonderful.

I can give you all that for the show notes. Of course, yes. Everything will be in the the show notes. Well, perfect. So if today's episode spoke to you, make sure to check out Cancer Cured Me. It's so good. It's [00:58:00] truly a gem and always thanks for being a part of a beautiful fix. So thank you, Alex. Thank you so much.

It was an absolute pleasure.