I Paid a Coach to Tell Me Who I Was… She Read Me a Poem Instead

Years ago, I paid a career coach a lot of money to tell me who I was.

I showed up ready for answers about my career and my life.

Instead… she read me a poem.

At the time I didn’t fully understand why. But years later those words landed in a completely different way, and they’ve shaped how I see my life and the work I do today.

In this episode, I’m sharing that story, the poem that stayed with me for years, and why learning to trust the wisdom within might be the most powerful thing we can do.

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Transcript

I Paid a Coach to Tell Me Who I Was… She Read Me a Poem Instead

A Beautiful Fix

 I wanna tell you about a moment that didn't make sense to me at the time, but looking back now, I can see she planted the seed for how I see life today. It started with a career coach and a poem.

Welcome to a Beautiful Fix. I'm Tracy Hill. Each week we'll dive into the latest Thought Gem recharging and reconnecting with what lights you up and makes you feel alive. Let's discover your next beautiful fix together.

Hey, real quick before we dive in, you're powerful and sometimes you just need someone to remind you what's already in you. That's what human design does. It's the difference between guessing and knowing so you can stop searching outside yourself and start trusting the answers within. I promise you, they're there.

Grab your free chart@abeautifulfix.com and when you're ready to go deeper, book a one-to-one session with me. Alright, let's get into the episode.

I wanna share something with you today that has followed me around for years. Years ago, I paid a lot of money for someone to tell me who I was. I was in one of those seasons in my life where everything looked fine on paper, but inside it, something just felt off. I couldn't explain it. I just knew the life I was living didn't quite fit.

So I did what a lot of us do. I went looking for the answer outside of myself. I hired a career coach. I honestly couldn't really afford at the time, and because of that I knew this was going to have to be one and done. I remember thinking I was going to go there over my lunch hour and I needed to walk out with the answer, right, like time is money.

So that's the energy we were working with. So I showed up, I was ready for clarity. I was ready for direction. I was ready for someone to look at me, analyze me, do a full body scan, whatever, whatever it took, and tell me what I was supposed to do with my life. So she listened to me for a bit and she asked some really great questions, and then she told me, she said.

I could absolutely help you find another job or another career, like, no problem. Easy peasy. And when she said that, I got so excited. I thought, oh my God, it worked. It worked. I'm gonna go back to work after my lunch hour with all the answers I've been looking for. I thought, perfect. Yes, this is exactly, this is exactly how it was supposed to go.

Just tell me what job I'm supposed to have so I can go fix my life. But then she explained calmly that that wouldn't actually fix the problem. She told me if she helped me find another job, that I would just show up to that new job, basically the same way I was showing up now, broken. And eventually I would just repeat the same cycle.

She told me that, you know, we needed to fix my mindset. And then she read me a poem. I remember sitting there completely still while she was reading it. Um, a little confused. I was trying to be present and, you know, trust the process as they say. But, but I was thinking every second, every second is just one second closer to me needing the answer, but Okay.

Read to me. But I, I really did hang onto every single word once she started, like, I didn't wanna miss a single word. I was. Genuinely intrigued and it stayed with me long after she finished, and then life just kind of kept moving. I went back to work, realizing that my plan hadn't worked. I was no closer to the answer. Then where I was before, so I let it go. I moved on and years went by before I heard it again. Somewhere, I don't remember where I was, but somewhere else. And I thought, wait, that's that poem. That's the one that she read to me that day. And then somehow I let it go again. Until recently, it popped up again a few weeks ago.

I don't, I don't even know where I heard it, but I heard it. And this time when I heard it, I stopped what I was doing. I Googled it and I read it over a few times, and then I thought. I wanna share this with you because now hearing those words all these years later, they ring true for me. Now there's no question in my mind, so I wanna read it to you.

And many of you may have heard this before, like, but maybe you're, you're like, mean, you need to hear it one more time. This poem is by Maryanne Williamson. And a fun fact, it was actually quoted by Nelson Mandela during his inaugural speech. Oh, and one quick note before I read it. She uses the word God in the poem, and if that word you know, doesn't resonate with you, feel free to insert whatever does universe, higher self source, whatever language fits for you.

Okay, here we go.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us. It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Maryanne Williamson. So when she read those words to me all those years ago, I remember sitting there thinking. Could that actually be true? The idea, this concept, it felt so unfamiliar to me at the time. I remember thinking out of everything, I just told her, all my whining, all my complaining, all my stories about how I felt stuck.

This is what she pulled from it, that I was afraid of my own light. She said I needed a mindset shift, and she gave it to me. I've also since learned that great coaches don't give you the answer as frustrating and as irritating as that may be, especially in the moment, you may feel like that's what you need or it's in your best interest, but the good ones don't because they know better.

No one has your answers. No one, only you have them. So now when I hear those lines, they resonate with me very differently than that day because what I see now again and again, is how often women are holding themselves back in ways that they don't even realize. It's the entire reason I do the work that I do today.

My mission now is to shake women awake to something I had to learn. The long way, the answers are within you. And the funny thing is, years ago I paid someone to tell me who I was. Now I sit across from women and hold up a mirror, an energetic mirror so they can see who they've been all along. And this is exactly what I get to witness through human design.

Recently, I was at an event where I had the chance to introduce several women to their human design for the first time. Women of all ages, different backgrounds, different stages of life, and one by one, they would sit down across from me and I would walk them through just the most foundational parts of their chart.

Just we would just scratch the surface. And what I would always tell people is that human design, it isn't about giving you something new. It's just simply a mirror. It's a mirror of your energy. It shows you what has always been there, and the moment that realization connects for someone. Mm, it's my favorite moment.

You can literally see it happen. Sometimes it's a pause or it's a laugh, a giggle. Sometimes it's this exhale, this huge exhale like that's me. And it's most likely something they've been really hard on themselves about. Somewhere along the way, someone told them that part of them was wrong. It's, it's when you see their shoulders relax.

When I can almost see the, the little girl in their eyes smiling back because they've just given themselves permission to be exactly who they're uniquely meant to be. I just gave them the language for what they've always known to be true. Deep down inside it, it's like they've just been given permission to stop trying to be someone else, and honestly, it never gets old.

Okay. Seeing someone recognize a part of themselves, they've always felt, but maybe never trusted or seeing them realize that they can simply trust themselves, they can block out all of the noise, the the constant noise, conditioning us away from who we really are. It's just priceless. And one of the lines in that poem

that really hits me the hardest. Now is the part about how when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. I see that happen all the time. Someone will message me and say something I shared, gave them permission to trust themselves a little more, or to choose themselves or

to try something that they've been feeling pulled toward for a long time, or it's if I'm doing something, they now know they can do it too, or they need it to hear it. They feel seen in their journey. They know they're not alone. And that's what keeps me showing up and doing this work again and again and again because the last line of that poem says something that feels so true to me right now.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. That's the energy I want this community to have. It's come with me. It's let's do this together. So here's what I wanna leave you with today. Just sit with all of this for, for a little bit. Could there be a part of you that already knows what's next?

Could there be a part of you that's been subtly easing you in a certain direction for a while now? Your body holds your answers. It's always talking to you. We may not always be listening, but it's always trying to get your attention. It's always talking to you. It knows what feels expansive for you and your life.

It knows what feels right. Eventually though the work is learning to listen and to trust it and then take action. I just did it earlier today. I'm constantly telling women to listen to their bodies, to drop into their bodies. But you kind of have to retrain that muscle because we're not used to doing that.

And as a generator, my body absolutely responds and tells me what it has energy for. So this morning I was trying to make a decision on something and I thought, okay, well let's, let's walk the walk. Tracy and I sat there and I got very calm and still, and took a lot of deep breaths, and then I just started asking my body questions.

And I swear to you, I'm not making this up. I felt it for the things that were a yes. I could feel it was almost like a little, like a little, um, burst. Burst is too strong of a word, but it was, for lack of a better word, it was like a burst of energy, just very subtle. And I could feel it. And the things that I was asking that were a no, I didn't feel anything.

Now, sometimes it's different. Sometimes I feel a strong Uhuh. I can actually feel my body like, mm-hmm. That's, that's not for us. But it was interesting to intentionally tune in to my body and actually ask it some questions. So after this episode, just go look up Marianne Williamson's poem, our Deepest Fear.

You can just Google it, it's everywhere. Read it slowly. Sit with the words for a minute. Notice what you feel in your body when you read it. Is there something there for you? And if you're a woman who's listening right now, who knows she's not done yet, you know you're meant for something more. Because the women who come to me to learn about their human design are women who just refuse to settle for a light that just looks good on paper.

It's just no longer an option. And through human design, I help them understand their energy so that they can learn to move with it and not against it. It's really that simple. So that they can trust the answers within and they can stop apologizing for who they are. Because I know that when women choose themselves, when they put themselves first, they get high on their own life.

And that's the kind of selfish I'm bringing back. You know, I had, I had to throw that in there. So why am I sharing all of this with you, my friend? Because don't be like me. Please learn from my mistakes. Don't let a decade pass before you pay attention, before you get the message behind that poem. If that poem made you slightly uncomfortable, we might be onto something.

If it made you pause for even a second, there might be something there. If you felt something in your body while hearing that poem, trust that. And if you're curious about your own design, I created a couple of really approachable human design reports that you can start with. They're $33 and they walk you through your personal energetic blueprint.

One of them helps you rediscover your own energy and the other looks at how your energy works with the people in your life, your partners, your friends, your family. It's a connections report. And always, if you wanna go deeper, I can work with you one-on-one, and you can find all of that in the show notes or on my website, a beautiful fix.com.

And as always, I'd love to hear from you. Just consider that an open invitation. And until next time, keep getting high on your life, one beautiful fix at a time.

Thanks for listening to a Beautiful Fix. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a quick review to help others find us. And if you'd like to share your own beautiful fix or join me as a guest, reach out anytime at tracy@abeautifulfix.com. Looking forward to next time.