Can Sex Actually Get Better With Age? with Susan Bratton

What if we’ve been given the wrong story about aging?

In this episode of A Beautiful Fix, Tracy sits down with intimacy expert Susan Bratton for a candid conversation about desire, connection, pleasure, and why some things actually do get better with age.

Susan shares her own journey from Silicon Valley executive to one of the world’s leading voices on intimacy and sexual wellness. Together, they explore why so many women disconnect from this part of themselves, the difference between sex and intimacy, how pleasure impacts confidence and vitality, and why intimacy can be viewed as a skill set that continues to grow throughout life.

This conversation isn’t just about sex. It’s about possibility. It’s about self-trust. It’s about questioning the idea that certain parts of life have an expiration date.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why intimacy and pleasure don’t have to decline with age
• The difference between sex, connection, and orgasmic intimacy
• How cultural conditioning shapes the way women think about desire
• Why pleasure, confidence, and vitality are more connected than we realize
• The role communication plays in creating deeper intimacy
• Why many women are told the wrong story about aging
• Susan’s concept of the Upward Pleasure Spiral and how intimacy can continue to evolve throughout life
• What becomes possible when women stop assuming the best part is behind them

Whether you’re curious about intimacy, navigating midlife, looking to deepen connection in your relationship, or simply interested in what it means to feel more alive, this conversation will give you plenty to think about.

Connect with Susan Bratton:

Website: https://betterlover.com
Newsletter: https://betterlover.com
Substack: https://betterlover.substack.com
Longevity Wins: https://longevitywins.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@BetterLover

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Transcript

Can Sex Actually Get Better With Age? with Susan Bratton | A Beautiful Fix

Push off aging and all of the diseases of aging, so you stay younger and healthier longer. It improves your immune system. It improves your vascular function. It improves your cognitive function. It oxygenates your brain.

You're rebooting your nervous system. You're feeling more grounded and calm. You're hitting joyful peaks. There's so many reasons to learn the mastery of pleasure.

And this is the beauty. If you wanna get good at sex, it's three different things. 

Welcome to A Beautiful Fix. I'm Tracy Hill. Each week we'll dive into the latest thought gem, recharging and reconnecting with what lights you up and makes you feel alive. Let's discover your next beautiful fix together.

Hey, real quick before we dive in, you're powerful, and sometimes you just need someone to remind you what's already in you. That's what human design does. It's the difference between guessing and knowing, so you can stop searching outside yourself and start trusting the answers within. I promise you they're there.

Grab your free chart at abeautifulfix.com, and when you're ready to go deeper, book a one-to-one session with me. All right. Let's get into the episode.

So earlier this year, I said I wanted to expand the kinds of conversations we're having here, because there's no end to what could be a beautiful fix, right? It's your dose of something that makes you feel good, it makes you feel alive, getting high on your own life. And that expansion has been leading us into some conversations that we don't always have out loud, and today is one of those.

I'm going to be honest, this still feels a little outside my comfort zone, but that's why we're doing it. So if you caught my recent conversation with Elana Auerbach, you know we started to open this door just a little bit, and today we're diving a little deeper into intimacy, pleasure, and sexual energy, especially in a season of life where a lot of women are told this part just fades or matters less.

And what I wanna do with today's conversation is to expand what we think is possible, demystify it a bit, normalize these conversations because at the end of the day, this is about energy. Everything's about energy. It's about connection and feeling more alive in your own life. So today I'm joined by Susan Bratton, intimacy expert to millions and the founder of the Better Lover Community.

Susan has spent decades helping people create deeper connection, greater confidence, and more satisfying intimacy in their relationships. Her work reframes intimacy as a skill set, something we can learn, expand, and continue to grow into over time. She's known for her concept of the upward pleasure spiral, the idea that intimacy can become more connected, more expansive, and more fulfilling with age, challenging the idea that this part of life declines or fades as we get older Through her work, Susan helps people reconnect with their bodies, their desires, and what's actually possible in this area of life.

She's a manifesting generator with emotional authority and a 2/5 profile in human design, which means she's designed to follow what lights her up, take her time getting clear on decisions, and naturally move between needing her own space and offering really practical insight to others.

Susan, welcome to A Beautiful Fix. Tracy Hill, I think you should rename your podcast A Beautiful Face- ... because look at you. I hope this is gonna show up on video somewhere. Is it? Oh, yes. It's on YouTube. Okay, good. I- Super ... yes. Great, great, great. I'm so- Well- ... happy to hear that. And yeah, um, I don't know who wrote that, that intro.

Did you write that or did my publicist- Yeah ... write that? You wrote that? No, no, that was, that was me. With, with information- Girlfriend ... from your- That's- Yeah ... pretty. Yeah. That was nice. I loved that. Can I get a copy of that? Absolutely. You can have what- With the way you're flirting with me, you can have whatever you want.

But Susan- Yeah ... we've got lots to cover, so I'd- Let's go, mama ... love to start here. I'm right here for you. I'm here for you. How did you come into this work? And- Yeah ... and what made you stay in it? Yeah. Um, well, I didn't stay in it for the money, that's for sure. Uh, so obviously it's a mission. I jokingly say my passion is passion.

Ooh. Um, I had always been interested in sex my whole life. In my 20s, I, you know, fucked around and found out. Uh, am I allowed to say the F-bomb on your show? Uh, yeah, we're going there. We're- Okay, good. And, um, I won't say it a lot, but, you know, if, if we need, if we need to start over already Keep it rolling Okay.

And, um, I, uh... But I was always dissatisfied sexually. I never really felt, and I think a lot of women in their 20s feel like, "Is this all there is?" And then they find somebody who, you know, they have a reasonably good sex life with, and they're like, "Oh," and they wanna have babies, and they wanna support me and my career, and, you know, um, they seem good, and I'm gonna marry them.

And then

it just doesn't get better. It actually gets worse, and you find yourself avoiding your partner for sex. And you, you know, or you just- y- you're not motivated to do it. Even after you do it, you're like, "Oh, w- why don't we have sex more?" You know? And your partner's like, "'Cause you, uh, never want to." You know?

Like, I think that's just a super common thing, and that was what happened to me. I got married when I was 31, I'm gonna say, and I dutifully had sex with my darling husband for over a decade, never having an orgasm from intercourse. Mm. And, um, I just started... It was duty booty, mercy sex. I was avoiding him for sex.

He disconnected from me. He started having an affair to, quote-unquote, "Get his needs met." Um, and, like, 11 years in, we're like, "What are we doing here? We gotta fix this. This is not... We can't keep going like this." He was like, "Are- did you decide you b- to become a lesbian?" I'm like, "No." And, uh, so we started doing a lot of different things, personal development, going to sex workshops, 'cause I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, where they are readily available every weekend.

I'm actually going to... Interesting, might be interesting for you, I'm going to a ketamine-assisted sound healing event at the yoga place- Ooh ... in the city this weekend with one of my girlfriends. You know, so we have, like, all the things here- Yes ... even- I love sound healing ... even decades ago. And, um, we... What, what I realized was that the thing that made the most difference was when we went to sex workshops and someone just told us what to do, I actually started orgasming from intercourse, because I, I kinda knew what I was supposed to be going for.

And it just changed my life. Like, finally, I felt like sex was something that was fueling me, nurturing me, adding to my vitality, um, supporting and, uh, you know, like, blowing my creativity up, and improving my self-confidence, and helping me get over my body image issues, and just making me feel rooted, and grounded, and sexy, and wonderful, and the things that I was looking for, having fun with my husband, wanting to have sex with him.

And I thought, "God, it's not that hard. Why don't I just, you know- do this for a living because I had... I was in Silicon Valley, I was a Silicon Valley executive, and I wa- I was the first person who ever did a video ad. I was in digital media and marketing in a hot, you know, in bro- in the broadband industry when broadband was just becoming a thing.

Got it. And I knew that I could teach people the things I learned in workshops digitally direct to consumers over the internet. And so what I did was I started a publishing company called Personal Life Media 20-something years ago now, 20-plus years ago. Wow. 20 years exactly this year. And, uh, I took the work of my mentors who I'd gone to these amazing workshops, and I created online programs so that people didn't have to do what I did, which I'm very courageous.

Um, not everybody is willing to do this crazy stuff I do. And I try a lot of things. I try a lot of modalities, trauma healings. I mean, I'm just a very, uh, you know, polymath around possibility for the human operating system. Mm. And, um, so what I did was I took the work of my mentors and I turned it into online programs, launched my company.

And 20 years later, I am still doing it. Um, I really should've been a landscape designer or an architect or something that would've made me a lot of money because I'm constantly censored. I joke that my autobiography ti- the title of my autobiography is gonna be Seggs, S-E-G-G-S. Like, I can't say penis, I can't say vagina.

I, I can't get any social media virality. I'm constantly shadow banned. There's no way I could buy ads to, you know, how to have expanded, an expanded orgasm practice. Like, it doesn't work. And so I love what I do, and I have now published and written 44 books and programs. I have done it all. You wanna know about oral pleasuring, being held and holding, breast pleasuring, uh, orgasmic intercourse, seduction with integra- you know, it just...

Like, the list just goes on and on and on and on because what I wanted to do, and I'll, I'll finish with this, is- My, my flavor, my brand of sex is non-performative, the opposite of pornography, female-forward, heart-connected, conscious, present, passionate lovemaking Mm-hmm That's what I teach. And anybody can do it because our operating systems are our operating systems, as you know, Trace.

Yes. And you give it the right inputs, you get the right outputs. And so when I tell you the recipe for having an orgasmic pleasuring session, and you follow it, first time you do it, you're like, "Okay, it came out all right." Second time, you're like, "I'm getting the hang of this." Third time, you're like, "That's going into regular rotation."

And so I just... It's been very fulfilling to teach people how to have hot sex, how to communicate, how to know what they want and communicate it, have bedroom communication that really gets you on what I like to call the upward pleasure spiral. I think about it like the, the DNA helix of two lovers just climbing into ecstatic orgasmic ecstasy together, where you just keep getting better and better and better.

And at 64 years old now, I can tell you my sex life has never been hotter, my orgasms have never been better, and my vulvo vaginal system has never been juicier. I call it the hanging gardens of Babylon. Behold. It is just draped in excellence. So, um, that's how I got here. So that's what I teach. Wow. That's what I do.

Susan, okay. I'm just gonna throw away my notes. Let's- Ah. Okay. Let, let me, let me just go back. So- Why do you feel like this topic- is so taboo in so many circles. Like you, you mentioned, in your line of work, you can't just go out and place an ad like someone who's selling carpet or something. Or, you know, why- how was this received, let's start there, when you first started down this journey going from a Silicon Valley executive to, to this?

Yeah. How was this received, and why do you feel like this is something that is still so taboo? Okay. Well, why is it taboo? Because, um, we are religiously, patriarchally, racistly, capitalistically oppressed. We- it is a mechanism of control. We don't teach you anything about sex so we can have a pedophilic network, a pedophilic ring of gross, disgusting men running our motherf- country, right?

I mean, come on, girl. You know. Yeah, yeah. We know. It's religious repression, control of our bodies. Look what they're trying to do to us right now. W- So how do you keep us down? 'Cause we are scary. So Susan, I wanna pull on that thread. Yeah. I wanna pull on that thread. I didn't mean to cut you off. Sure. But if this is about control and- Mm-hmm

patriarchy and pulling the wool over our eyes- Mm-hmm ... why? What is it that we need to know and understand about this topic- Yeah ... that makes them want to keep it hidden from us, and something that we feel shame around, and that we don't talk about openly? What is the power behind what we're discussing today?

Yeah. Well, it's a combination of things. The first is that, um, boy, when we started going to school so we could earn an income. So, you know, this is my life- this is in my lifetime, Trace, right? Yeah. I mean, uh, my mom went to college. My grandmother made sure she went to college and helped her pay for it.

Mm-hmm. And my mother raised me, and this is one of the- something that I wanted to tell you today. It's a perfect time to do that. And I was g- you know, listening to some of your shows and thinking about you, and, um, thinking about, uh, how much I love what you're trying to do here with your show, and I know why you get the listeners that you do.

Um, you, you, you're giving them some, some angles and insights into understanding that empower them to take up more room and live the- Yes ... life that they want. I, I feel that so deeply- Yes ... with you. And, um, my mother would say to me when I was young Don't let anybody... D- always have your own money. You're going to college.

Um, you will have a job, and you will do well, and don't let anybody tell you what to do. You are your own decider. You make excellent decisions. Mm. I'm here if you need me. I trust your judgment, and I want you to trust yourself. Well, how... And if you're just assaulting women, if you're abusing women, if you're oppressing women, if you are holding them back from education, from bodily autonomy, from voting, from every, you know, from everything and anything, if you're keeping them in the dark.

Here's why people get freaked out about sex. They get the religious shame, but they also have no, no real knowledge. Ooh. Most people, and, and, and it's true, and I, I, I don't wanna make people feel bad, but most people are having sex that's, like, very oriented towards specifically intercourse because sex is for procreation only, and o- the only thing that's sex is intercourse.

Everything else is just foreplay. So we're gonna rush through it and get to the main event. And then the only way people have intercourse is what feels good to the penis. No one's ever learned what a vagina wants, how a vagina likes to have an orgasm, how a vagina needs to be aroused. And not just the vagina, and not just the tip of the clit.

The entire clitoral urethral vaginal complex and- That it's the seat of our power, that it's o- that it is our connection to source, right? Like, if you come the way I come, I touch God, Gaia, source, consciousness in my ecstatic org- orgasmic bliss. How did I learn how to do that? Practiced it. Learned the strokes.

Literally learned the strokes. Like, that is one of the things you can do, is you can stroke your clitoris and feel connection to all things. Like, if we fe- if we got that clit stroke and felt those things and had the sex that I'm having, if we could all have the sex that I'm having, and I'm trying, I'm doing my best, Trace, we would be so less fuck-with-able.

Mm. We would be so much more confident and empowered. We would not be afraid. We would be strong. We would be in charge. We would be in control. That's why. Wow. Wow. That's- I mean, that says, that says a lot, and I think we're all starting to learn that- We are ... we are powerful beyond measure. Beyond. And most things that we are taught to not explore or to n- not just be, or just be open to how amazing this world is and how little we know.

Yeah. I feel like when I'm on, at my last m- breath, I'm going to say, "I should have learned more," because I just recognize how little I know. And when you're in that state- Yeah ... you're open to so, so much. Yeah. Um, but y- you're saying such a different message, that all of this can get better- Oh, yeah ... with time, with age.

With knowledge. You c- With knowledge. With kn- Yeah. Knowledge. Why is it s- why, why do we need some... W- why is this not just natural? Why is this... Why do we need to l- learn so much? It seems like it should be something that just comes natural. Well, you can make a baby naturally. Mm. So you can figure out how to do that.

That we know. Yes. But to- Enjoy the pleasure of your body, to have your sexuality be always expanding, you need to have some roadmaps for it. You need to know what you're going for and what is possible. You know, one of the issues that I've always had is that I, I can't... I can barely watch TV. I can barely watch movies because whenever there's a sex scene, I'm like, "Oh, Jesus.

Not another thing where he, like, grabs her and she pulls her pants down, and she's still wearing her top, and he, he plunges into her, and they have this incredible ex-" Like, that is so fake. Mm. That is so penis-oriented. That does nothing to support feminine arousal, desire. L- it d- it doesn't do anything to give us the level of orgasmic pleasure capacity that we actually have.

That's just, that's m- that's just making a baby with some energy. It's not soulful kissing, breastgasms, oralgasms, full body touch, uh, co-regulation from holding and being held, um, b- surrendering into bliss together. It's, it's, it's none of those things. We literally never see examples of super hot, heart-connected, pleasurable- Mm

lovemaking where the woman is ju- just coming and coming and coming, except if you watch porn, and for porn, it's still all penis-centric. It's all for the male gaze. Mm. It's not what lovemaking looks like. So the reason that we don't even know what we're missing is because it's just suppressed everywhere

So, yes. When you, when you talk about intimacy, to go back a little bit, as a s- as a skill set- Yeah ... what changes when we start to look at it that way? A couple of things. One is that you begin to realize, you know, you, you said it yourself. You're like, "Are you perfect for me or what?" Because you were saying, you know, "On, uh, I'm, with my last breath I'm gonna be, I wish I learned more."

Yeah. "I wish I knew more." Yeah. I feel the same way. I'll tell you, one of the things I'm really digging about being in my 60s is that it's definitely an era of the wise. You get your wisdom. Mm. You have a lot of knowledge you've stacked up, if you've been reading books your whole life, and having experiences your whole life, and learning and everything, expanding.

And so it, it, it, it really gets to the point where you start to feel like you've got some solid ground under you. You're really making some good connections and things like that. And that feels so joyful when you are ... When you're, when you're hitting some level of mastery. You've got some- Mm ... mastery.

You've gathered that. And that gives you confidence, and that gives you vitality and creativity, all of those things. When you approach your sexuality that way, where you're like, "Wow, it- every time we do things we get better in bed together. Every time we try something new and we learn something, we begin as beginners together.

We, we mess it up, we laugh about it, we try it again. It gets even better." You gain confidence. And those things really, really add to your life. And the- there's another dimension as well about sexual mastery, that a continued expansion of skill set. And what's good about it is that the more that you have orgasmic intimacy, I like to use that phrase instead of sex because when I'm- Mm

especially when I'm talking to women, especially when I'm talking to midlife women who are like, "Oh, dude, I, I mean, like, I don't even want to bother with that anymore." Mm. Sometimes it's just been so crappy. Women are ... You know, there's a lot of women who aren't even gonna watch this episode because- Oh.

they're just like, "No, no, no, no, no. I'm not, I'm not-" Yeah ... "I'm not gonna focus there anymore." Yep, yep. "That's no good for me." And I, I respect that. But the ones who are, man, they are like, "Tell me exactly what to do. I want to fight for my sex life. I want to have it to be really, really good. I just don't ... I'm like, the what's the gap?

Help me get through there. What do I need to know? What's the process?" Which I can tell you very easily. Um, but what it does is orgasmic intimacy, m- which means- Learn how to come really well. Coming is, comes from practice, and you can come in over 20 different ways. Our bodies are very orgasmic, male and female, across the gender spectrum.

Doesn't matter what your equipment is. It's all the same parts in different order, as we learned from Emmeline Doski. But the thing that is really cool about it is that when you learn how to come really well, and you come in lots of ways, you are less reliant on just intercourse, but then intercourse also becomes really orgasmic too, and you just get good at having lots and lots of orgasms.

And it's the orgasms that actually extend your health span and your happiness span. Because when you come, and you co-regulate, and you generate oxytocin, you also produce natural killer cells that... They're the zombie, they, the senescent cells. They, they eat up the senescent and dead cells in your body. So they- Hmm

push off aging and all of the diseases of aging, so you stay younger and healthier longer. It improves your immune system. It improves your vascular function. It improves your cognitive function. It oxygenates your brain. When you come, your brain lights up, and when that light, when it lights up, that means it's getting oxygenated, so you're actually improving cognitive function.

You're rebooting your nervous system. You're feeling more grounded and calm. You're hitting joyful peaks. Like, there's so many reasons to learn the m- to get the mastery of pleasure And that's why I like to call it orgasmic intimacy because then you become more curious about what avenues of pleasure you might want to explore.

And this is the beauty. If you wanna get good at sex, it's three different things. The first is techniques, and you can enter anywhere. You can be like, "I'd really like to have better oral sex. I'd really like to have an orgasm when I'm going down on my partner." That's interesting. Susan said you could have a throat-gasm.

I'd like to try that. Um, whatever it is that you wanna do. I really would like to orgasm from intercourse. I've never done that. I have to have, you know, a vibrator on my clitoris. Great. That's good, too. You can do that. That helps you kinda get over that hump. Um, and I love vibrators. No shade on vibrators.

I think sex tools activate all the tissue, send the signals to our brain so we can come better partnered and unpartnered, solo and partnered. It all is good. But once you learn the techniques, you need the s- the communication skills. That's really an ascension model. You start with understanding what you want and setting the conditions for being able to ask for it in ways that don't shut you down.

Mm-hmm. Because right now, for most women, they're like, "If I, if I say something, he gets all butt hurt, so I just keep my mouth shut." They put up and they shut up. No more put up, shut up, right, Trace? Right. We're done with that era. That era is over. Um, and then the third is intimate wellness, how to get the hanging gardens of Babylon in your mid-60s.

Like, what do you need to do to make all that stuff just like yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum all the time, right? Um, and that is simply regenerative therapies, making sure you've got good blood flow. You might need a nitric oxide booster. You might need , you know, you might need some things to reverse the atrophy of aging so that nothing hurts.

You know, vaginal estrogen. There's, you know, you might need some red light therapy. You know, there, there's different things you can do that keep those systems not only from aging, but optimize those systems so you're coming really well So Susan, for the women that are still here that are, that are listening that are like, "I'm the, that second person.

I want to know everything," where, where do they s- where do they start? W- when- Yeah ... what would you recommend? Well, I run an, a business mastermind for sexperts, and I've got a, almost 100 intimacy experts in it. We all, we're all starving 'cause we can't get any traffic 'cause we're all censored, so we collaborate a lot together.

And we teach all sorts of different things. We teach embodiment, we teach Daoist and tantric practices. We teach, um, pleasure skills. You know, we do everything. We, we do therapy. We do trauma healing. We do, uh, mid- midlife tran- you know, transition work. We do everything. Couples counseling and therapy, helping our guys learn what to do, et cetera.

And, um, so you just find some sexperts that you like, and you start to sign up for their events or download one of their e-books or watch their videos, get on their newsletters. Um, I would say for anyone who wants more to go to betterlover.com. That's my brand. Okay. I love my brand name, Better Lover.

Isn't it so good? That's good. It's, like, perfect for me, right? Can you believe I got that URL? I love it. Um, it, I'm just so happy with... It, it, it means everything for me, Better Lover. You know? Yeah. Become a better lover. Yeah. Like, that's... It, it's so intentional. And so for those who are like, "Yeah, right. I wanna be a better lover," I have a newsletter that goes out twice a week that teaches all kinds of pleasuring techniques and communication skills, and I just give, give, give, give, give.

I've got lots of books and programs, and when someone's like, "Oh, that's what I wanna try. I wanna de-armor my G-spot," or, "I, I wanna learn that, you know, expanded orgasm clitoral stroking practice where Susan says I'll see God," you know? "I wanna have that. I want my clit stroked like that," you know? And so you'll, you'll see something there, and you'll be like, "I'm dra- that's what I'm drawn to.

That's what I'm drawn to." And that's what I'm saying about sex, is you can enter into it from anywhere. And the interesting thing is that- Most people have sexual trauma. Mm. You can't live in this culture and not have it. You might not have directly been sexually assaulted, but you've been sexually assaulted every day of your cultural existence in America.

Wow. And, um, the interesting thing is that it's another trio. It's like here's how you move through that to wholeness. You rage against this machine. You rage against the system. You call out all of the things that have happened to you. It was interesting, I was driving home from my workout to come back here to get into the studio to, to do this show with you, and I was sitting in the parking lot.

I had just left a couple of voice messages, and I was just checking Threads, which is the social media that I like to get my news and connections on. And, um, someone was posting, and they posted... There's a lot of conversation about, uh, sexual assault right now, and there was a trigger warning post. And I was like, "Oh, God.

Yeah, that happened to me too, man." I just like, all of the things that we're realizing that happened to us, s- we've... Some of us have been assaulted so much we can't even remember all the things that have happened to us, you know? Yeah. And so you have to, you have to notice it. You have to rage against it.

You have to call it out. You have to point it out. You have to, you have to- Become aware of it. That's one. The second pillar of, of solving to this problem is trauma healing. And trauma healing is amazing because there's so many modalities and, and I think you have to trauma heal just like you gotta eat your veggies.

It's just a part of being alive on the planet in the era that we live in and the culture that we live in with what's going on in the world. We're being traumatized on the daily, and we're carrying a, a sled of... You know, I always think about myself as being like a husky dog that's pulling a sled. Mm. I think about that with all the employees who work for me, and all the people that I take care of, and how many people I'm responsible for.

I feel like a husky that way. I also feel like a husky in that I'm carrying a sled of so many people who want more wholesome sexuality, more pleasurable sexuality, and I want to help them too. And so a part of what you have to do is whatever modality you're drawn to, do it. If you're like, "Yeah, I wanna do ketamine-assisted sound healing this weekend," fucking sign up.

Mm-hmm. Ask for sliding scale. You know? Go do it. If you need somatic experience technique, EFT, if you wanna do some primal screaming, if you gotta go to circling method, if you need to see a psychotherapist, whatever you wanna do. If you need to just rage with your girlfriends and do some bong hits.

Whatever it is, it's all healing. And then the third piece is you got to envision what life is going to be like post all of the trauma. How do you want your sex to be now? What would honor your body? What would allow you to relax and surrender, feel comfortable asking for what you wanted, get lost in ecstatic bliss, feel beautiful, not feel traumatized?

How can we create that for you? Mm-hmm. And that's really what I do. That's where I come in. I'm the one who's like, "Here's how you can have an orgasm from intercourse. Here's how you can have... Ask for what you want. Here's how you can, you know, do G-spot de-armoring. Here's how you can enjoy female ejaculation."

Whatever it might be, that's the part that I help with. I help you with rethinking what sex is in your life and having the kind of sex that sounds good to you. Mm. A- and Susie, you have such a huge following that it, it, it shows the appetite for this. Yeah. Like, clearly women are interested in this. But- Yeah

I guess my question for you is, do women often come to you, um, just by themselves or do they bring their, their special person with them or w- or is it just a little bit of everything? I don't do any one-on-one types of things 'cause I'm not a therapist. I'm an author of passionate lovemaking techniques and bedroom communication skills and intimate wellness information.

Okay. And so what, the way that I've worked it out is that, um, you know, I, I just spend a lot of time like writing and producing content and thought pieces and advice and stuff like that. That's just what I like to do. I'm a, I'm a one-to-many person. Yeah. That's what suits me. Uh, that's why I like to speak from stage, I like to come on podcasts because I can hel- I can touch more people with my thinking and my advice.

And even though my title is Intimacy Expert to Millions, that's what my PR firm told me I had to have as my title. M- my title in my own brain is Trusted Hot Sex Advisor to Millions. Yeah. And the reason that it's specifically that is because people trust me. That is my fuel, is helping people feel sexually confident and prepared for pleasure. At all ages of life, 70s or, or- 90s ... beyond. 90s. 90s. I get emails from kids who say, um, "My dad passed, and I wanted to let you know 'cause it looks like you guys have been communicating for a long time."

Like I get those emails from people Wow ... till the day they die. If you- Wow ... if you have sex, for every 10 years longer you extend your sex span, you extend your health span, not life span, health span, and happiness span by an additional two years. Ooh. So if instead of ending your sex life at 40, you get it to 50 or 60 or 70 or 80 or 90, you're stacking up an extra decade of health and happiness Wow.

I didn't realize that But if I told you that right at the beginning, it'd be like me telling you to eat your vegetables. It's like, "Yeah, I know I should, but I really want that spice cookie."

Well, I wanted to turn and touch on your human design just, just a little bit. I was- Okay, great ... taking a peek at it. And, you know, I love looking at this, um, through the lens of human design just 'cause it gives us language to how we're wired for connection. So you're a manifesting generator, which means you might pivot in, in life.

You might start here and then move there. You're- you can be multi-passionate, multitask, do all the things. Um, you also have emotional authority, which just means... I also have emotional authority. Sometimes we need to just take time and get clarity before we make, you know, a decision. Let those emotions pass us over.

And then you have a 2/5, 2/5 profile. So yeah, pivoter, multitasker, efficient. You can skip steps. You can kind of figure out the, the shortcut to things. Um, and, and also with the 2/5 profile, it just means that you kind of need your own space. That solitude- Mm-hmm ... might be really key and important to you.

You have a natural skill set that when you have that time to yourself, you're able to really hone those skills. And but then you can offer, you can also offer really practical insight to others. And on a grand scale, when you see these, these, um, these 5s, it's normally people that are, like you said, one to many, making this huge impact.

So you also have Gate 59 in human design, which is all about intimacy. It- No way ... you can't make this stuff up. It's all about intimacy and kind of breaking down barriers, just getting people to feel very comfortable and open up, um, you know, very, very easily. So I was just curious, does any of that resonate with you?

Tracy, 100% of that resonates with me. Really? I- it doesn't surprise me, but how, how so? Oh my gosh. I mean- I am a manifestor. I am a generator. Uh, I feel that way about my- I think that way about myself. You know, I mean, I'm an entrepreneur. I run two companies. Yes. You know, and, and the advice piece totally makes sense.

That's literally in my my b- my title. Um, and, um, I love to be out and, you know, being in the crowds. I, I- Yes ... spoke recently at a conference. Um, the adorable, amazing Chalene Johnson has a conference every year called Camp B More. And I spoke from the stage, and then I stayed for the... And I- she had me speak a couple times.

She d- I did a panel. I did a VIP talk. I did all kinds of things. And a lot of the time that I was at that conference, I was out in the hallways. I was in the sessions. I was available for people to come up and talk to me, hug me, do selfies, ask me questions. I was just, like, there for everyone, available.

Yeah. Come on up. And then I went home, and I spent four or five days just not being people-y at all. Yes. And re- you know, redoing my, getting my battery charged and just- Yes ... like, not having a lot of makeup on and just getting in the sunshine and, you know, all that stuff. I didn't... No more fal- I didn't want to wear any more false eyelashes and- Right

you know, all the things you have to do when you're on the stage and in public these days. And so, um, that made a lot of sense to me, too, what you said about needing my space. Yes. And, and, and protecting it, and no, u- unapologetically- Yeah ... needing that time- Yeah ... 'cause you'll reemerge when you're ready, but you...

I love that. Well, before we go into the speed round, is there anything we haven't touched on that you really want the women listening to hear? I would say don't give up on your sex life. Mm. Try and figure out what you can do to- Take advantage of the pleasure that is A part of your birthright, a part of your humanity, a part of your femininity, a part of everything that is you.

Uh, don't let our culture prevent you from having the pleasure you deserve, the orgasmic pleasure you deserve. All orgasms are learned skills. Every body can have them. You can have them. And the best pathway is solo pleasuring, and that's masturbation, which is not a sin or a shame.

It is good for you. It's just like eating your vegetables, doing your high intensity and your weight lifting, getting a good night's sleep. It's the fourth factor of longevity, and it's the o- one of the ones that will make you the happiest. So I would say that's the most important takeaway, is that it ain't over. You can restart it. There's no use it or lose it. You can always get it back. Your best years are ahead of you.

Well, Susan, what makes you come alive? Oh, my gosh. Uh, speaking in front of pe- in, in front of groups. Mm. Empowering others for pleasure. A song that instantly shifts your energy or makes you feel something? Ooh. Yesterday I was listening to neoclassical music. Ooh. It is so romantic. I love classical music, but I don't know if I've ever- Neoclassical.

Okay. Neoclassical. It's kind of like ambient... It's kind of like- Hmm ... neoclassical with a bit of ambience to it. It's very romantically ethereal and relaxing. Okay. What about a book that just cracked you open or stayed with you long after you read the last page? Can I say one of my own books? Please. It was so life-changing for me, and it's been so life-changing for so many people.

I wrote a little book called Relationship Magic, and it's really a workbook. I've been on TV over 30 times b- talking about it. I mean, it's really a very mass market, mainstream, non-sexual part of my work. Mm-hmm. It's not even one of my top sellers either, for as much as, uh, as it's sold, because my sexy stuff sells really well.

But, um, what it does is it teaches you your top four relationship values. What do you want most out of being in a relationship? And if you have a partner, you can have your partner do the work- the workbook as well. And then you realize, "Oh, God, no wonder they're do- no wonder they're treating me that way.

That's what they want." Right. And so it, uh, gives you the words to tell your partner what they need to focus on to make you incredibly happy in your relationship with them, and then you can do the same for them. Uh, I, we, I call it the platinum rule versus the golden rule. The golden rule is do unto others as you'd have them do unto you, but you don't wanna treat your partner the way you wanna be treated.

They're a different person. Mm. And so when you play the pa- the platinum rule, you're treating... You're having your partner treat you the way you wanna be treated, and yet that's what you're doing for them. And I think that's... It's way better than those old five love languages. Five love languages. Do, do all five.

Like, I- You know, like, you're not getting off the hook. You gotta do all the things, you know? That's what I was gonna ask you. That sounds similar to... Okay, so yeah. It's different. I get that. So what, what is your favorite little indulgence or guilty pleasure? Hmm. Vape hits. I like to have a little- What, what is that?

A va- a vape hit. A little, um- Oh. ... you know, a little cannabis. Okay. I like to have a little cannabis now and then, and just, uh, relax, and, um, enjoy myself, and just be chill. Mm. What is one thing that always reminds you how beautiful life really is?

Oh, gosh. I would say just the, the next generations of kids. I mean, right now is like we're in the middle of... As you, as Tracy and I are recording this, we're in the middle of prom season. Yes. Oh my God, are you guys seeing all of the pictures of those beautiful kids? I mean, they are stunning. Mm. They have...

The young men now, they've g- they're wearing s- suits of all these beautiful colors, and they have like ornamentation and flowers on them. And I mean, I just love the kids, and- Mm ... they really light me up. I just, I have so much hope that they're gonna just take, take our culture and move us toward equality for all, education, healthcare, lifting our culture and our global world of humanity and all of the animals on our Earth and the water- Yes

and ev- everything. I just- Mm. I'm sorry we left it in such a mess for you guys. Oh my God. Totally. We've been fighting the fight. We've been fighting the fight, you know? I, all the time- Yeah ... I'm like, I, I read people who are like, "Gen X are here. What with you boomers?" "What did you do this for? Why did you leave?"

And they're like, "Well, we really... I mean, we did give you education. We did give you women's rights. We did, we ga- you know, we did do a lot, you guys." Right. "But you guys gotta carry the, carry the... Here's the torch." Yeah. I have complete faith in this younger generation. Me too. For sure. I think they're just gonna turn things upside down in a good way.

Yeah, they are, because they can't have any secrets anymore 'cause we've got communication. Yes. We've got a communication web that preve- everything gets out. We're on to you suckers now. Yes. We kn- we know how bad you are. And they question everything in a good way. I mean, my- They do ... you know, my, my sons are part of this generation, and I don't get away with just saying blah, blah, blah.

They're like, "But why? Why do you do that?" How old are your sons? "Why is it like that?" Uh, my youngest is 19, so 19, 21, 23, and 25. 25. Oh, that's great. Oh, you've got four- Yeah ... sons? Four sons, yes. Oh my God. You're so lucky. Yes. Yeah, my daughter is 29. She's currently in Tanzania helping- Ooh ... indigenous fisher women, um, learn how to swim and learn how much money all of the, this, the, the product that they're harvesting, how much money all the men are making that they're not seeing any money.

They're not getting any money. Oh, wow. She learned how to s- speak Swahili, and she's there- ... helping lift those women up and get their own. Wow. I am s- I, I h- I made up a hashtag, Trace. You're g- you can borrow it. It's yours. #mombrag Yes. Yes Isn't that so good? I mean- That is good ... is there anything better- That is so good

than just sitting around with your girlfriends- No ... bragging about your kids? Nope. Mm. I love it. There's nothing better. I love it. Well, that, well, good for your daughter. That is, that says a lot about you. That's, that's phenomenal what she's doing. Um, well, Suz, I just wanted to share a little love note. My whole thing is about, you know, putting things out that I wanna see in this world.

Um, so a little love note from a previous guest, and so this is from Lynn Harris. Okay. She's the founder of Gold Comedy. It's a comedy school and a creative community where humor is used to build- Uh-huh ... confidence- Good ... connection, and even entire careers. So her note for you is, "Something my mom always said, never say to yourself, 'I shouldn't be feeling this way.'"

Mm. "Feel whatever you want." Mm. "You have choices about what you do with it, but feel whatever you want." So I'm just curious, what comes up for you when you hear that? I would say that the first thing it made me think of is the, the quote that I've lived my life by, and it was from Janis Joplin. Mm. And she said

And I heard her say it in high school, and I, and it, it is how I have lived my life. And she said, "Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got." Ooh. And I was like, "Okay, I'm- Mm ... I'm gonna do... That's what I'm not gonna compromise myself. I'm gonna live the life I want to live, and have the things, and ask for the things, and state my needs, and hold my boundaries," and I, I've been doing that, and it's- Ah

it's been good. So it's very, very similar. I love that. Thank you for sharing that with me. Yeah. I love Janis Joplin, and my whole mission for this year is to get women to... I'm bringing selfish back. I'm telling women- Good ... let's do it. Yeah. I'm done with this whole, you know, it's bad to focus on yourself.

Right. When you put yourself first, you do for everyone, because you're coming from a pace, place of fullness. Yeah. But it doesn't work. Your message is working. I could see that coming through in your work. Mm. So I fee- I feel that strongly, loud and clear. Thank you. And it's a great message, Tracy. I mean, we just give up everything for everyone else.

We do. We cannot. Gotta put your oxygen mask on first. That's right. Yeah. That's right. I'm reclaiming that word. I'm taking it back. It's- Yeah ... it's a good word. But- I like it ... Susan, where can people connect with you and explore more of your work? Yeah. I know you've mentioned a little bit, but just- Yeah, just to- Just-

to wrap it up, uh, betterlover.com- Yes ... is the best place to go. If you wanna contact me, feel free to send me an email. Just get on that newsletter. It's two times a week. It's not too much. It's not... I'm not gonna spam you every day. And, um, I'm on Substack at Better Lover. I'm also on Substack at Longevity Wins.

Um, and, um, I'm on Instagram at my name, Susan Bratton, and I have a big YouTube channel as well, and that's Better Lover. So I'm, I'm around. I'm out there. Thank you. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you. We'll, we'll include all of that in the links. Thank you so much for this conversation, Susan, and- I loved it ... to e- to everyone listening, if something in this conversation stayed with you, even in a small way, pay attention to that.

And until next time, keep getting high on life one beautiful fix at a time. Yay. Thank you.

Thanks for listening to A Beautiful Fix. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a quick review to help others find us. And if you'd like to share your own beautiful fix or join me as a guest, reach out any time at tracy@abeautifulfix.com. Looking forward to next time