Stop Editing Yourself

Are you a good blender? Not the kitchen kind. The kind where you walk into a room and immediately start editing yourself down to something safer, smaller, and easier for everyone else to digest. In this episode we get into Satya, the second of the ancient yogic principles called the Yamas, and what truthfulness actually means when you apply it to yourself. Spoiler: it has nothing to do with being brutally honest with other people and everything to do with stopping the performance you have been giving your whole life. Plus what Human Design revealed about why some of us were never built to blend in and what happens when you finally stop trying.

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Transcript

Stop Editing Yourself | A Beautiful Fix

Hey, are you a good blender? Like, how are your blending skills? I don't mean the kitchen kind of blender. Well, stick around

Welcome to A Beautiful Fix. I'm Tracy Hill. Each week we'll dive into the latest thought gem, recharging and reconnecting with what lights you up and makes you feel alive. Let's discover your next beautiful fix together.

Hey, real quick before we dive in, you're powerful, and sometimes you just need someone to remind you what's already in you. That's what human design does. It's the difference between guessing and knowing. So you can stop searching outside yourself and start trusting the answers within. I promise you they're there.

Grab your free chart at abeautifulfix.com, and when you're ready to go deeper, book a one-to-one session with me. All right. Let's get into the episode.

Okay, seriously, are you a good blender? I spent a good portion of my life trying to be, and I wanna talk about what that cost I wanna talk about something I learned during that yoga certification training I was telling you about.

Again, another one of the ancient principles called the Yamas. I shared the first one already, Ahimsa. If you haven't listened, that was a few episodes back. Go back and definitely listen if you missed it. But today is the second one, Satya. it means truthfulness, and I, I wanna talk about what happens when you spend years being nice instead of being real.

I mean, raise your hand if you've ever walked into a room and immediately started editing yourself. Yeah. Yep So what is Satya? It is truthfulness, honesty, authenticity. And before you think that this is about being brutally honest with everyone around you, it's not. The teaching says that ahimsa, which means non-harming, always comes first.

So if you have to choose between love and truth, choose love. Speak truth kindly. What comes from the heart reaches the heart. I love that. Isn't that true? When you are talking with someone and they share something truly from the heart, does it not reach you right there in the heart? Can you not tell the difference?

So when we talk about truthfulness, some people take pride in, "Well, I was just being truthful. I was just telling the truth. I just say it like it is." But you know what? Both can be true. You can be truthful, you can tell the truth, and you can also be kind. But Deborah Adele, um, the author of the book The Yamas and the Niyamas, she writes that nice is an illusion.

It's a cloak hiding lies. It is an imposed image of what one thinks they should be, a packaging of self in a presentable box imposed by an outer authority. And I had to sit with that for a little bit, and I thought, you know what? She's right. I like to think of myself as being nice. I try not to hurt other people's feelings.

But sometimes when I am trying to be nice, it really isn't the truth. I'm trying to avoid saying the thing that I think might bother the person. I'm saying yes when I, you know, mean no. I never thought of it as being an illusion, but I can see where that's true. And then she goes on to ask something that's really worth sitting with.

What is driving you to distort yourself or silence yourself or say yes when you mean no? I'll ask that again. What is driving you to distort yourself or silence yourself or say yes when you mean no? That question is really what this whole episode is about. Now, I wanna go back and answer my own question.

Am I a good blender? Well Lord knows I've always tried to be, especially when I was younger. I always tried not to rock the boat. You know, when I was younger, I just wanted to blend. I just wanted to fit in, not stand out too much, and I wasn't very good at it. I, um, you know, when I would hang out with groups of friends or people, I always wanted to look like everyone else or dress like them or sound like them or whatever, and I failed at all those categories.

Don't really look like most people. Um, don't think like most people. Just kind of always doing, you know, my own thing. I think the problem is I just don't fit most labels. Never really have. You know, when someone says, "Girls do this," or, "Moms are like this," or w- insert any label, I'm always like, "Yeah, um, kind of, not really, sometimes, maybe."

And the more that someone tries to stick one of these labels on me, I move the other way. They're over here zigging and I'm over there zagging. It... I've just always been that way And, you know, here's what trying to blend actually cost. You give up everything. It's not sustainable trying to pretend and be like someone else, being anything other than what you are.

You stay small and unfulfilled Anytime that you walk around denying any part of yourself, you end up taking this vibrant, colorful life and mask it so much that everything becomes dull Deborah Adele says that people who are nice hold truth inside until they reach a breaking point, and then they become dangerously inappropriate

Eventually I just stopped trying to figure out why I kept standing out and started asking a better question. I started asking, "What if standing out is exactly where I am supposed to be?" So if we look at things from the perspective of human design, I am what they call a four-six profile. And

If you look at the line six, the six line, it often feels like you're standing on the edge, at the edge of the circle. You're close enough to belong, but you're far enough back to see what is really happening. So you're both participant and observer at the same time

I have always felt like I'm just kind of, you know, on the outskirts. Like, I'm a part of the group, but I'm not completely there. I'm in a crowded room of people, but I'm kinda thinking, you know, my own thing. Um, but it's kind of given me my unique perspective on life. I'm, I always have a perspective. I'm never so heavily inside of any group that I can't see outside of it anymore So for years I tried to move toward the center, be fully in the circle like everyone else seemed to be, but it just never felt right.

Now I know that being on the edge is perspective. It is the place where you can see the whole thing. And it turns out that I think that's where I was designed to stand. And that is Satya for me. Telling myself the truth about who I actually am, accepting it, owning the place where I naturally stand instead of performing my way toward that center of that circle that was really never built for me

I do not grow when I'm trying to fit in. I don't think anyone does. Expansion comes from being out there on that edge. That is where my perspective lives. That's where this whole show comes from. And the good news is I gave up trying to fit in a long time ago, and it's also another gift of midlife. You, you get to a point where the energy that it takes to perform belonging is not worth it.

It's not worth what it costs you. And dare I say that I now not only have stopped trying to fit in, I like being an outlier. I like being on the outside. I like following my own path. Don't you? Satya does not ask you to be loud or confrontational or to announce yourself to every room you walk into.

It just asks you to stop lying to yourself, to stop packaging yourself in a presentable box for an outer authority that was never going to give you what you were looking for anyway. The real version of you, the unblended, unedited, standing at the edge of that circle version, that is the one worth knowing.

That is the one that changes things. The unedited version, the unblended version is so much more interesting. That's the person I wanna talk to. So here's what I wanna leave you with today. Just be honest with me for a second. How long have you been pretending? Are you pretending? Maybe it's not in every area of your life, but is there an area where you're pretending?

Where are you still trying to blend? What part of yourself are you still editing before anyone else gets to see it? I promise you, I wanna see the unedited version. So does everybody else. When is the last time you were completely, unapologetically, no editing, no filtering, just fully yourself in a room full of people?

That feeling, that is what we're going after So as always, thank you for being here today. If this episode meant something to you, please consider sharing it. Leave a review if you haven't yet. Help other people find us. And Yama the llama, if you know, you know, he's currently observing me from this, from the edge of this shelf.

He gets it. And until next time, keep getting high on life one beautiful fix at a time.

Thanks for listening to A Beautiful Fix. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a quick review to help others find us. And if you'd like to share your own beautiful fix or join me as a guest, reach out any time at tracy@abeautifulfix.com. Looking forward to next time