When I Can't Find My Own Light: A Brutally Honest Journey

In this raw and deeply vulnerable episode, I share what happened when I found myself in a dark place, unable to access the very tools I teach others to use. After recording an episode about confidence, clarity, and calm, I realized I was feeling none of those things – could I be completely honest with you about my struggles.

I reveal my journey through a mental health challenge, why accepting darkness instead of fighting it was the key that began to shift things, and how we can embrace the messy reality of being human. This unfiltered conversation explores what it truly means to find your way when you can't see the light, and why self-compassion matters.

Key Takeaways:

• Sometimes the most valuable thing we can offer isn't a perfect solution, but the truth of our journey
• Mental health struggles can manifest physically – affecting speech, clarity, and cognitive function
• The mantra "I will NOT abandon you" can be a powerful anchor in darkest moments
• Acceptance without judgment is what creates the first crack for light to enter
• The path through darkness isn't usually a lightning bolt moment 
• We can simultaneously be coaches, leaders, parents AND struggling humans
• Confidence is a knowing that lives in your heart
• What helps: intentional language ("I feel" vs "I am"), gratitude for small things, movement
• Dark is not wrong and messy is not bad 

Powerful Quotes

• "I wasn't showing up as my best self. I was showing up as my real self."
• "The moment I stopped resisting what I was feeling,  the moment I just accepted that I was in a really dark place – that is when things started to shift."
• "I will NOT abandon you." Those words became my lifeline when everything else felt like it was exploding."
• "Many truths can exist at the same time. I can be a life coach to other people, a creative leader, and struggle at the same time."
• "Dark is not wrong and messy is not bad."
• "When life cracks us open, let's do what we can to let go and accept, one moment at a time. Because like the Japanese believe, the crack is where the light comes in."
  
  

Chapters & Timestamps:
 00:00 – A Different Kind of Episode: Recording in the Dark
03:10 – The Shame of Not Feeling What You Teach
07:42 – Can I Be This Honest With You?
10:32 – A Crack of Light
14:14 – What Mental Health Struggles Actually Feel Like
17:38 – The Mantra That Became My Lifeline: "I Will Not Abandon You"
20:52 – The Courage to Be Seen
24:27 – Letting Go
27:19 – Rethinking Confidence, Clarity & Calm
30:42 – Darkness Isn’t Failure
32:43 – The Crack Where the Light Comes In

Until next time, Beautiful Souls...

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