The Lulu Essey Podcast
Welcome to The Lulu Essey Podcast — a raw, unedited space for honest conversations about building a life that feels deeply aligned with who you truly are.
Here we explore the full spectrum of well-being: mental fitness, emotional resilience, authentic confidence, and the courage to create a life on your own terms. Through lived experience and evidence-informed approaches, you'll discover that transformation is truly an inside job.
Each episode offers practical tools and tiny, consistent steps for navigating anxiety, uncertainty, and life's challenges. You'll learn how to build confidence from within, find calm in chaos, and deepen connection with yourself and others — one small, powerful action at a time.
Come as you are — no judgment, no quick fixes. Because creating a meaningful life isn't about perfection; it's about progress with self-compassion, acceptance, and the willingness to embrace both light and shadow on your journey.
The Lulu Essey Podcast
What If You Didn’t Have to Choose Between Confidence and Joy? | The Neuroscience of Real Self-WorthUntitled Episode
Ever felt like Confidence and Joy were things you had to earn—by achieving more, pleasing everyone, or performing perfectly? In this episode, I share the science that flips that myth on its head. You’ll learn why real Confidence and genuine Joy aren’t achievements—they’re natural states you access when you stop pretending and start being authentically yourself.
Backed by the neuroscience of Dr. Amy Cuddy (embodied Confidence), Dr. Brené Brown (shame resilience), and Dr. Barbara Fredrickson (positive emotions), we explore how your brain’s reward pathways create an upward spiral of Joy and Confidence when you act in alignment with your values.
🎧 Press play to activate the Confidence–Joy Feedback Loop and stop performing your way through life.
🔥 The Science Behind Confidence and Joy
✨Joy lights up your prefrontal cortex, enhancing creativity and decision-making
✨ Authenticity triggers dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin—your brain’s Confidence chemicals
✨ Pretend Confidence (Yellow Zone) depletes energy; real Confidence (Green Zone) restores it
✨ Joy broadens perspective and enables confident choices
🔁 How the Confidence–Joy Loop Works
→ Acting authentically builds real Confidence
→ Confidence creates space for Joy
→ Joy reinforces self-trust—creating an upward spiral
💡 Key Quotes
“Confidence and Joy aren't achievements you earn—they’re natural states you access when you stop pretending and start being authentic.”
“Confidence is your nervous system saying: I can handle whatever comes. Pretend Confidence is trying to convince everyone you’re okay when you’re actually anxious.”
🛠 2 Tools to Activate the Confidence–Joy Feedback Loop
Tool #1: The Joy–Confidence Reflection Practice: A daily practice that helps you track authentic actions and how they affect your Confidence and Joy levels.
Tool #2: The Authenticity Compass: A nervous-system-based decision-making Tool that helps you choose aligned actions based on your Green Zone, not pretending or people-pleasing.
🎁 This Week’s Practice:
Choose one small act of authenticity each day. Track how it affects both your Confidence and your Joy. Share what you discover—I’d love to hear.
⏱️ Timestamps
00:00 — Welcome + Confidence–Joy connection
00:54 — Authenticity vs. honesty distinction
03:22 — The neuroscience behind the feedback loop
05:42 — Authentic vs. pretend Confidence
08:33 — Personal story: pretending vs. being real
11:24 — 2 practical Tools to activate the loop
16:37 — Why you don’t have to choose between Joy & Confidence
#AuthenticConfidence #JoyLoop #Neuroscience #MentalFitness #SelfWorth #AuthenticityTools #NervousSystem
Until next time, Beautiful Souls...
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✨ Website: luluessey.com
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THANK YOU for being here. Sending you grace and love!