Manhood Matters Podcast
Conversations around challenges dominating a man's journey through life. These topics are explored by real, everyday friends, with a lot of experience... And we have the occasional expert guest.
Manhood Matters Podcast
Finding Balance When Life Overflows
Finding the elusive balance between career aspirations, family responsibilities, and personal well-being remains one of modern manhood's greatest challenges. In this thought-provoking conversation, we explore whether true "balance" even exists or if life naturally flows through seasons that require different priorities.
We dive into the powerful jar analogy - where golf balls represent your most crucial priorities (family, children, close relationships), pebbles symbolize career and ambitions, and sand fills in as everything else. The lesson becomes crystal clear: if you don't put the golf balls in first, you'll never fit them in later. This metaphor beautifully illustrates why so many men struggle when they prioritize work above all else, only to discover what they've lost along the way.
The discussion takes a particularly meaningful turn when we explore how to maintain important relationships while pursuing success. Rather than assuming what your loved ones need from you, we recommend a simple but profound approach: ask them directly what being "present" means to them. Each person in your life values different forms of connection - some need quality time, others need small, consistent check-ins. By tailoring your approach to each relationship, you create more meaningful connections without burning yourself out.
We don't shy away from the tough realities of maintaining friendships as adult men, handling toxic workplace relationships, and finding small windows for self-care when life feels overwhelming. Through it all, one message remains constant - intentionality is everything. Whether it's scheduling ten minutes for a workout before dawn or planning regular check-ins with friends, the calendar becomes your most powerful tool for creating the life you actually want rather than simply reacting to whatever comes your way.
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Host: StéphaneAlexandre
IG: @stephanealexandreofficial
Music by Liam Weisner
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It was a 10-day expedition in the wilderness with no cell coverage.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I don't know what I can disconnect for 10 days.
Speaker 3:I think you could. Here's why. One you're moose hunting right, so your biggest worry is am I about to get impaled by a?
Speaker 2:10-foot tall moose. Don't fuck around, Jesse. You don't have time to worry about other shit.
Speaker 3:You have to make sure you don't die right, because while you're hunting the moose, there's other big shit hunting that moose too, like there's grizzlies.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like you're not worried about like, let me check my facebook page.
Speaker 1:No, you might die no, I wouldn't worry about that. It's not social media, it's the being connected, like you said, for 24 hours, fellas. Let's be real. You're out here grinding, building your career, trying to take care of the family, but somehow you're supposed to hit the gym, have a social life and still get a full night's sleep. Yeah right, in this conversation we're going to talk about money, moves, relationships, balancing it all from fatherhood to mental health rooms, relationships, balancing it all from fatherhood to mental health. We're going to unpack as much of it as possible with a little humor and some hard truth. And this is real talk. You won't get anywhere else. Ladies, a lot of you carry this weight on your own, so pull up press play. Welcome to Manhood Matters. Let's get right to it. Hey, what's up everyone? I am your host.
Speaker 3:Stefan and I'm Jabari returning champion. That's right, that's right.
Speaker 1:Let's get right into it, man. I'm finding that it's almost impossible to really balance things and maybe it's just me, you know, work-life balance, career relationships and it almost feels like the real formula is that there are seasons for certain things and there are seasons in which you'll need to prioritize certain things, and then it starts to kind of balance out. But you can't. If you're trying to make it, if you're trying to provide, if you're trying to be a man, if you're trying to do all these things, I don't really see how. You know, maybe you can help me out, because I don't see it. You know, I kind of feel like right now I'm like ultra, ultra focused on success and this business and I'm trying to get off the ground.
Speaker 3:Well, I think it depends on what where you're trying to get to, right, Because not everybody wants to be a millionaire, right, If your, if your, I made it moment is I have a job. I get paid every two weeks. It handles all my bills. I'm putting a little bit of my 401k. So, with my 401k and my social security, by the time I'm 63 and a half or whatever the new age is, I'm going to be okay. Right? Those people, as far as you know, hustling and grinding like they're not really hustling and grinding because they know, with the formula that they've started with, I'm going to start working at, whether it's 19 fresh out of high school or 22 fresh out of college. They know that I'm going to put in my 40 years and by the end of my 40 years I'm going to have X amount of dollars and I'm going to live a modest life.
Speaker 3:Because, you know, not everyone lives in LA, Miami, New York.
Speaker 1:I mean hell, we're here in Georgia, but yeah. But I mean Property taxes are still pretty crazy, you know.
Speaker 3:They are. But if you have a $250,000 house and you live in a rural area, I mean, do you really need, you know, $1.3 million in the bank? To live out the rest of your life.
Speaker 1:You're right. I guess it's measured, you know, differently for each person, correct? It's funny. I have this, uh, this rep I used to um, I called him, I called him into my office one day and and I say to him I'm looking at his run rates as far as what he's going to do for the year and I can kind of just figure out how much money he's going to earn. And this dude was on track to earn 37K for the year, right, and this was 2011.
Speaker 1:So you know, I'm talking to this guy. I'm like hey, man, you know, the minimum that all the reps here should earn is about 60K and that's just if you're doing the bare minimum. If you just show up and barely do your job, skate by, you're going to make 60K. But if you do anything else, you know anything extra, you go above and beyond. Obviously you hit six figures and more, but you're on track to make 37K. Him beyond obviously you hit six figures and more, but you're on track to make 37K. And I thought that would motivate him to say hey, dude, you know like, come on, step up, what are you doing? And he actually said to me so that shit kind of backfired because he said oh, really.
Speaker 1:So I was like yeah, yeah, really he goes well. You know, stefan, it's no-transcript. This guy was early twenties, I'm going to say 23, 24.
Speaker 3:So no kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Just him and his girlfriend at the time and they were about to get married.
Speaker 3:And I'm not sure if he had kids he would have made a but that was his season at that moment, because when I was 22, if I was making 37k a year, back in man, I'm old 24 years ago, like that's my point though this was fine back then yeah, but that's my point.
Speaker 1:This is 2011, it's not that long ago, yeah, 37k yeah, I could have made it.
Speaker 3:I mean splitting rent with somebody. My my due was probably paid off mortgage or paid off mortgage or paid off mortgage, right. So what real bills do you have at three grand a month? I mean food, entertainment money, cell phone bill, other minor stuff. He's not going to three grand if he's responsible with his money right and if his girlfriend's working too.
Speaker 1:Sounds like he was too.
Speaker 3:And if his girlfriend's working too she's probably raining.
Speaker 1:They're killing it and I don't mean to shit on that, but it's just crazy to me because I, you know, I don't want to be that, that squirrel that's just hoarding and hoarding and hoarding. But I want to be in a situation I think jim rohn says it best he goes I want to build an armor around my family. That is impenetrable, a financial armor around my family that is impenetrable, a financial armor around my family that is impenetrable. And that's where I'm trying to get to. I definitely don't have time for myself. So how do you? How do you handle that right now? How are you dealing with that? Or is that the same for you?
Speaker 3:It was the same for me. I want to say back in 2020, I got so COVID happened, I got released from enterprise fleet management. That means fired. Yeah, yeah, thank you for that Release.
Speaker 1:That's great, that's great. No thanks.
Speaker 3:It's fine they released you and 10 other thousand people.
Speaker 1:Right, it was. Yeah, it was like it was like five figures worth of people. Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 3:Um, so then I I went into roof, went into roofing, and it was the company and the gentleman that hired me the branch manager that hired me at Enterprise was now working at this roofing company. He was like, hey, I want to bring you in. It was 100% commission, which I'd never done before. But he's like look, if you grind this out, you become a general manager, and once you're a general manager, then and once you're a general manager then you get the banker's hours right. You'll be working that nine to two, nine to three.
Speaker 3:And I was like, oh, that sounds great. I'll grind for a year, year and a half, and then life will be good. So then I did Grind it for a year and a half and right when I started the job in 2020, we just had our third child, so we had four-year-old, two-year-old, newborn. And then I grinded for a year and a half and then I got promoted to general manager and I was thinking that I'm going to have these amazing hours making all this great money. But I had to keep grinding because now I had all these new people that didn't know what they were doing.
Speaker 1:So I had to keep working the same be in the office at 10 o'clock really 9.30, and then I'm getting done at 10, 11, 12 o'clock at night.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's not even counting your commute, this is just 12 hours in the office, yeah, and then in-home presentations, right. So I'm still working the same hours and my wife's like, look, you're making good money, but like you have a two-year-old that you've never really seen, because you're working monday through friday, sometimes on saturdays, and even when you are home you're still on your phone answering calls because your people need you to help them close a deal. So she's like I didn't sign up to be a single mom, so we got to figure this out. So then I ended up leaving that job and then taking another job, and then that ended up getting to where I am today, where now I own my own business, which now allows me the hours are a lot better.
Speaker 3:Right, I probably get started around nine, 30, probably get done around three, four o'clock, and when I'm done, I'm done. Right, right, um, I am in the building phase. So there is that you know the uncertainty and it's like, ah, you know, I gotta make sure the money's still coming in so I can pay these bills. But as, now that it's, I'm getting to the point where everything's progressing much faster.
Speaker 3:Um, I will be in a position where it's like the work life balance is like it's there now so you're close yeah, but I'll be, but I'll be also financially comfortable yeah because it's yeah, it's great to have these hours, but it's not great to have these hours and not be bringing any money. Exactly Right.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 3:So it's the struggle on the way there. The reason why I had to make a change was like it's like, why am I making money? Making money to take care of my family.
Speaker 1:But if you're making money to take care of your family and you're not seeing your family, then is the money really worth it, and I guess my argument I don't disagree with that, obviously right, but I guess my, my argument is I can't do both at the same time.
Speaker 1:So my struggle is I'm going to have to pick one and do it balls to the wall and just go super, super hard Right, that's what she said. And do that, for I'm giving myself a time limit so that I can enjoy the things and the time later. And I know sometimes you know I can already hear it People going, yeah, you could do all that and die before you get there and never have the time with your family that you know um or do all that and then lose your family on the way to doing all that.
Speaker 1:And now you've made a lot of money by yourself and I'm rolling the dice, I'm rolling the dice, I, I, I'm. I'm not too worried because, in that sense, I am beyond blessed to have the wife that I have, um, and the love and the support that she's shown me. Honestly, sometimes I don't feel I deserve. So I kind of feel like I'm really, really blessed in that way. I'm not ignoring signs, I'm not, you know, not, we're talking, we're communicating, but there's a plan. I think the secret here is secret sauce is to have that conversation and just to say, okay, well, here's the plan, here's the goal, here's what I'm going to be doing for the next three, four years, here's what I'm attempting to do. And sometimes the conversations, kind of like your wife had with you, she said, no, I didn't sign up for that, we're not doing that. But that's kind of where I am right now.
Speaker 3:I think that the smart thing is that you were communicated. You were communicated but you were specific and you were intentional with your communication, meaning you told her your wife. I'm giving myself X amount of time. This doesn't happen within X amount of time. We got to figure something else out I think a lot of people fall into the trap of it'll just change. I'm just going to keep doing this and it'll just change.
Speaker 1:It's not going to change by itself.
Speaker 3:No, that's the thing, that's the thing.
Speaker 1:So, you know, we really want to be clear here, because that's the thing is, some people give themselves a time still and they say, well, at this age, this will happen, that will happen, and none of it happens unless you make it happen. So there has to be a goal, it has to be planned, and maybe you kind of reverse engineer the 100% so you don't fall in the same. You know traps Exactly. You remember this thing. I don't know if you've ever seen this. Oh, that's what I was looking for a second ago the story of the jar with the golf balls, the sand, yeah, and the pebbles oh, you shake it up no, so what it is?
Speaker 1:basically you have this professor and he has this jar and he has all this sand on the table. He has all these golf balls and he has a bunch of pebbles and he goes go ahead and put those. You can make everything fit into the jar. Oh, and he has some water as well. Okay, right. So a lot of students come up and he has several of these experiments set up. Students come up and they put water in first, jars full and try to put anything else. Nothing happens. And they keep trying this until he shows them the way to do it right.
Speaker 1:First, you put the golf balls in and he says the golf balls are the things that matter the most. That's family friends, your children, people like that. Right, those are the golf balls, the things that matter the most. That's family friends, your children, people like that. Right, those are the golf balls, the things that matter the most in your life. If you put them in and you focus on them, everything else falls in place.
Speaker 1:Then he takes the pebbles and he puts them in. Of course they start going through, you know, around the golf balls and he puts all of them in there and he goes. This is career, this is ambition, this is goals, businesses, right. And then he takes the sand and it's just like this is everything else that matters to you Right To each person is going to be different. And somehow the sand again, because they're so tiny, right, all granularity all fall through and it fits in the crack and they all go in there.
Speaker 1:And finally he takes a bottle of water and he pours it in Right, he, and he pours it in right, he goes. This is all of the unimportant stuff, like the stuff that you could do without. But if you want to fit it in, there's still room for it. But if you do it the other way around, you're going to screw yourself and the things that matter will totally fall out. That makes sense. It's a great adage. And if you just kind of for each person, they think about what that is and they go okay, think about what that is and you go, okay, what matters to me the most, right, what are my golf balls, what is my sand, what are my pebbles? And then you prioritize them in that way.
Speaker 3:So it sounds like you're focusing on the golf balls. Now right, but what are you making time for the pebbles and the sand and the water? I?
Speaker 1:am, and that's the struggle. It's a mental struggle and for me it's kicking my ass. I'm not gonna lie to you, dude. You know there's no sleep, there's nothing. It's a struggle. Um, I don't know that I have the answer. This is not me saying that I have the answer. It means this is me saying I'm struggling with it big time.
Speaker 3:I think what and you see this with, I guess, ultra successful people like they carve out time literally on their calendar for like entertainment or relaxation.
Speaker 1:So to the next point then, right, you know, having a crazy busy schedule, finding time for self-care, whether it's time for a round of golf, time to go get a massage, even just time to go to the gym and hit the sauna for like 10 minutes when you're done.
Speaker 3:I think what needs to happen is, when you've been doing sales for a very long time, the shift goes from being all excited about getting a sale to I'm going to be upset if I don't get the sale Like you don't even get excited when you get a sale anymore. You're like, yeah, I'm supposed to get the sale I need to get the next sale.
Speaker 3:You need the next sale, right, you have to kind of take yourself back to being excited, to like the small wins, because they don't feel like big wins anymore. So at least make them some type of win. And if I get X amount of these small wins, I'm going to do X, I'm going to do Y. So if I close three deals, I am going to go see a movie or I'm going to play a round of golf or I'm going to take my wife on a date.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 3:Like you, just you have to.
Speaker 1:So celebrate. Give yourself tiny well, not tiny, but give yourself attainable milestones that you can hit and reward yourself when you do. I should also mention here that, because when we talk about sales, they misinterpret that. Let me put it this way Everyone's in sales 100% Everyone's selling something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the guy who cuts your grass, he's in sales. He's in sales, he's got to sell that business. He's got to knock on your door and say, well, you got to reach out to him, and maybe you reached out to three other people. Why did you pick this guy? So a lot of people don't understand that they are in sales. Right, if you have anything for yourself. Right, you're selling clothes on the web. Whatever you're doing, you're selling a product or a service, so this applies to just about everyone.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it can apply to even if you still don't consider yourself in sales. If you have something that you do at work that needs to be completed, say, the next time I complete X amount of these whether it's three, four, five, whatever that number is when I complete these amount of things and they're done well and I get the recognition that I was hoping to get, I am then going to reward myself with a spa day. How do you manage stress and avoiding burnout? I mean, it sounds like you're not doing your very best right now?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not. I'm not managing stress at all. What do you? What I used to do is I used to go to the gym a lot and I would work out and that would help me. And I haven't found the time to do it. I don't even know what the excuse is because, again, as we mentioned on the previous episode, I have a gym at home, so I could do that If I had to go for a run. I have plenty of space down my street.
Speaker 3:You got like a thousand acres out here.
Speaker 1:So I could do that.
Speaker 3:What time do you start your day?
Speaker 1:I'm usually out of here by seven, so I'm waking up at six. I'm waking up at six, six. I'm waking up at six. No breakfast, just waking up at six straight to shower, getting prepped a couple of minutes of prayer and meditation, and then I'm gone, I'm heading out.
Speaker 3:You can literally wake up at five 50 and get a 10 minute workout in your home gym.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Cause that's what I started doing last week. I was just like I'm paying for this gym membership that I'm not getting. But you know what? I have two dumbbells here that I in my closet, pull them out, get a 10, 15 minute workout in and then start my day. Now I'm not doing that every day, I'm not going to sit here and lie about it, but I did do it two to three times last week and my goal is to just if I can get to every morning just committing 10 minutes of my time, like for me that'll work and for my body type that will work. But more importantly, for someone like yourself where you need that outlet, like you even have a punching bag in there, just hit the bag for like five, 10 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Like, and that's a stress reliever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I can tape somebody's face on it A hundred percent. I was listening to a podcast again from another friend of mine and he has what he does. He committed this year to doing a hundred burpees a day.
Speaker 3:Takes him 10 minutes, 10 minutes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he said 10 to 12 minutes takes him because he doesn't do a hundred once Straight out.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:He'll just, I guess you know, do 20 and maybe do five sets of 20 or four sets of 25, whatever he needs to do.
Speaker 3:I guess, if you did 10 a minute, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1:How do you prioritize? We've already talked about family, but friends, you know, obviously we talk about family and career, but is there, is there a room for that in your life right now?
Speaker 3:I talked to him a couple of times a year, right?
Speaker 2:It's it's yeah, because none of them live here.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Right? So, like the people that I grew up with, I grew up in LA and we're in Atlanta, right, that I grew up with I grew up in LA and we're in Atlanta, right? So half of them are not even in LA anymore, right? So my my bestest, bestest friend he lives in Tampa Bay over in Florida, so I think I messaged him, like last week, because I saw that he started a business on LinkedIn and I just said congrats, that's not, you didn't even type that shit up.
Speaker 1:There's a button. You're lazy ass. Oh, you care so much.
Speaker 3:I changed the name, so he knew that I, you know. I edited the auto response.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you added his name to congrats. That's funny.
Speaker 3:But I mean, yeah, man, it's like he knows that I love him. I don't need to constantly. Maybe this is a guy thing, I don't know, I don't need to, I don't need to constantly. Maybe this is a guy thing, I don't know, I don't need to. I don't need to constantly communicate with him for him to know that I care about him and his family.
Speaker 1:If he's ever in Georgia, like he knows, he has a place to stay. If I'm ever in Tampa Bay, I know that I have a place to stay. Wifey and I were having a very morbid conversation the other day about death and we're talking about funerals and who would come and things like that, and it's kind of like a big show and these are people who show up and she put in air quotes to pay their respects and the reason they're doing that is because there's a guilt, because they never got to show enough love while you were here. So now they're feeling bad and it's mostly for them. Obviously, you're not here anymore, you're gone.
Speaker 1:So it doesn't matter to you. Maybe it makes the family feel a bit better that, oh my God, he was really loved. Look at this person. But then, the same token, they're like we haven't seen you at all. Do we even know you? Because we don't. We do a better job at making time for that and showing that person love once, every two weeks, once a month, once, once, how you know, just enough to say, hey, I'm thinking about you, hope you're doing. Well, here's a text's a call.
Speaker 1:If that person goes and you don't get to spend enough time with them because of, you know, geographical reasons, you know we all live all over the country, all over the world, but at least you were there because we were all able to communicate. We were a phone call away. So is that? I feel that way, I feel like she's totally right and I'm just like, yeah, I just have to do a better job at doing that.
Speaker 1:I have a handful of friends I mean I know a lot of people but I have a handful of friends that I know mean a whole lot to me and I love those guys. Right, and I've made myself this promise after this conversation to say, hey, I've got to, like you said earlier, put it on my calendar on a Saturday morning. On a Saturday morning, I have a list of 10 people every other Saturday that I reach out to say hey, how's everything going, and some of them you'll end up having a conversation with for longer than maybe you even wanted to, cause we're all busy, um, but I think that shit matters a lot more than we met. I think we're missing out, because this is a life we have and this is a time that we have together.
Speaker 3:I think it's. I think it's tough because you're probably like me where you can, wherever you go, you're going to make a lot of friends.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'll walk up to anybody and talk to them.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So then what ends up happening is it's like yeah, you have maybe like your, your like your ride or die top five that you've known for decades.
Speaker 1:The guys you would go rob a bank with. Yeah.
Speaker 3:But then you probably also have a hundred people that would at least talk to you about the bank heist. You know what I mean, so it's like you want to text those five, but then you also have that hundred that are kind of like you could call at any moment. They'd want to hang out with you.
Speaker 1:Well that's, that's narrowed down. It's really not exaggerated. Not that, at least for me it's not. You're right, I know a lot of people. You know a lot of people. We make friends wherever we go, because I have no problem walking up to someone and sparking a conversation, you know. But I'm going to say roughly 10 to maybe 12 people that I need to know. They're okay, that basically it's 12 people I give a kidney to Got it, so I only have two to give. I only got one to give, because I need one.
Speaker 1:Right, but you know, what I mean, like these are the people will be on the list. If we were a match, I'm giving it to them, the other a hundred that I know. I'm okay If we don't talk all the time. I'm okay If I find out with oh man, you know this person passed or whatever, and I didn't even get to go to the funeral. I'm still okay. I'm saddened for you. You know my love goes out to you and your family, but that, that's pretty much it, you know. Again, talking to it said to my wife she doesn't have a lot of friends. She's the opposite of what we are. She's a total introvert, has, like I don't know, two and a half friends.
Speaker 2:And I'm being generous.
Speaker 1:You know, and she was talking about one of her friends when she said hey, I would be perfectly OK, I would feel fine, I would not feel guilty if something happened to this person, knowing that I reach out, knowing that I show this person my love. When I think about those people that matter to me, I want to be in that position and say you know, these people matter enough and I let them know that they matter frequently enough. Now it works both ways. If once a month, you hear from me and I'm the one reaching out, maybe I'll create the habits and hopefully you know it's reciprocal. But if it's not, then okay, cool, I need to adjust that dial a little bit and maybe I need to reach out to you a little bit less, because you know it's not. We know the feeling is not mutual, yeah, but I don't think that's the case with anyone that I that I hold in high regards, people that I truly love.
Speaker 3:Well, if those 12 people are like you, then they're probably going to the same hustle and grind. If they don't reciprocate, it's probably because they're just caught up in trying to make it.
Speaker 1:I think, if we create the habit, though, I mean people will be like because, dude, I'd be heartbroken.
Speaker 3:They'll just play for you. They'll be like I don't need to do it because he's going to reach out.
Speaker 1:Nah, dude, listen, regardless of how busy I am, if you checking out on me the next time I see your, your, your number, pop up on my screen I'll be embarrassed. And again, these are the people that you truly love and you care about, and they care about you just the same.
Speaker 3:Do you your 12 friends, your top 12, right? I'm assuming they were all in your your MySpace top 12, but uh, what, what yeah I?
Speaker 1:brought that back. I was like wait, what MySpacespace? We got kids on this show, right?
Speaker 3:I'm like they're like myspace myspace, what's that? Like facebook, black planet. Yeah, you know where you shared your napster. But uh, yeah, do they all know each other? Many of them do, yes, so why don't you try? Why don't you plan an annual trip?
Speaker 1:that's dope.
Speaker 3:They don't all know each other, but uh but if they, but if they all went together on a trip, no one would like try to fight the other person.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, no, these dudes are all awesome.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just an annual trip.
Speaker 1:There's one nigga I'm thinking of that. I leave him out of the group.
Speaker 2:I mean 11 is close enough.
Speaker 1:There's one dude, but that would be dope. That would be dope.
Speaker 3:See, what you do is you start a group thread where you talk about the trip right, hey, we're gonna do this trip and you're always just texting about the ship now, whether the trip happens or not, what ends up happening is now you're all talking because I have a. I have a group thread where, uh, one of my best friends from college, we did a bourbon trip. We went to uh what's the bourbon trip? Was it louisville kentucky? Oh, yeah, yeah you know where you can like see all the the bourbon.
Speaker 1:I don't say factories, distilleries yeah, yeah and so he created a thread and, by the way, if you ever do it again, make sure you go to uncle nearest, because it's black owned and it's dope as hell.
Speaker 3:But go ahead we'll go um, but we did that trip pre-covid and we're still all texting in that same thread. Not only are we texting in that thread, we also have a facebook messenger for the thread, even though there hasn't been another trip.
Speaker 1:I just, I literally just said yesterday in the thread.
Speaker 3:We'll also have a Facebook messenger for the thread. Even though there hasn't been another trip, I just I literally just said yesterday in the thread we have to do another trip every year, we have to do another trip. And someone goes, yeah, we're going to do another trip, and then we don't do the damn trip, but we're always talking. Because then it's like oh, did you see the game? Oh, did you see this? Oh, you see what Trump said today?
Speaker 3:There's always a reason why, between all of the I don't know 10 people that are in groups, someone's going to say something yeah, even if it's just a post about a new bourbon that they got, they're always in, they're always in the thread. And so, yeah, just yesterday I said, hey, man, like we need to stop talking about doing the trip, we need to actually start planning the trip, so we'll see what happens. So that's what I'm saying for you. If you just put all your, they're all going that even the ones that don't know each other, they're going to find commonalities where they're going to start to get to know each other through the thread. So maybe the trip doesn't happen as fast as you'd like it to, but as soon as everyone starts understanding that like, oh, I could hang out with everybody here. Yeah, then someone is going to take the reins and make the trip happen I got a friend of mine.
Speaker 1:Um, he's more than a friend. I mean, that's the thing too. Like, out out of these 12 dudes, these guys are brothers, right, like they are my brothers, like I love these guys to death. But one of them, his name is Reggie.
Speaker 1:I don't know how many years ago, but when we went to his wedding, I remember another friend. He was saying bro, I live in Louisiana. At the time I was living in Tennessee. He was like you live in Tennessee, reggie's in New York, so-and-so is somewhere else. And it was just like all of us all over the country, right, a couple of people were out of the country and they were all there and he said Reggie is the glue. He said Reggie's the glue. He said that he was like bro, how we all come together for this dude he's the glue because he stays in touch with everyone. He does. He's one of those guys who does go out of his way. He'll make that phone call be like hey, I just check in on you, whatever. And in fact it's weird because he still he leaves voicemails. You know a voicemail, what is it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what I'm saying Because whenever, like, I don't leave a voicemail, I don't check it because I see that I'll call you back. I don't need to go listen to 30 seconds that I don't have. Waste my time listen to you say, hey, bro, it's me, you don't call me back, I don't tell you. Sometimes I get annoyed. I'm like why the hell you leave a voicemail for and I gotta go delete this shit without listening to it.
Speaker 3:It's funny just read the text on the in the in your iphone. I don't even bother man, I just like I see a message.
Speaker 1:the little that notification annoys me, so I got to go and delete it because I don't like to see that notification.
Speaker 3:No red dots on your screen.
Speaker 1:No red dots on my screen, it's annoying. You know. So then I'm just like, cause it shows me that there's something you got to do Something you got to do Something, you got to do.
Speaker 2:That's what's up. Yeah, it's reg, you know. Hey, it's tony.
Speaker 1:Hey, just yeah but he'll say things like I was just thinking about you and making sure you and the family, okay, sending my love, blah, blah, and I'm like that little thing that is a lost art. Just the act of caring and showing that you care in such a minute way goes so such a long way. I'll have fucked up days and I'll get that voicemail because maybe I don't feel like talking. When he pick, when he calls, right I won't answer, but later on I'll listen to it and then it'll shift my mood into someone cares, the people who count on you wife, children they care too, but you can't go to them with your troubles. Yeah, not all the time. Yeah, you have to compartmentalize the shit, right, and just so to know someone reaches out, and so he's one of those.
Speaker 1:Actually, I never thought about until just now, but he's one of those people who actually does that and and there's a reason people stay in touch with I do I have friends that I went to high school with. We Reggie and I didn't go to the same high school and he knows those guys because we live in the same neighborhood. They are my friends, but I don't stay in touch with them anymore. We haven't talked in 25, 30 years and he'll be like, hey, remember that guy, you fought in high school that one time. And I'm like, yeah, I think so. He's like yeah, yeah. And he's like yeah, yeah, we're just hanging out with him, whatever. I'm like that's crazy how you stay in touch with people. Yeah, exactly. First of all, I won that fight, so you know what?
Speaker 2:do you say about the fight though? Yeah, what do you say about the fight? Yeah, we have a rematch. I'm sure he's out of shape now.
Speaker 1:How do we protect our space? So setting boundaries for our, yeah, just protecting our personal time Turn off your phone Next question. That's a good one.
Speaker 3:Think about it right, because most of the time when you're losing your time or you're losing your space, it's probably because either someone runs into you which is very rare or they're calling you on the phone or they're texting you. If you just put your phone down, if you didn't pick up your phone for 24 hours, like on a I would lose my fucking mind. But how? But how much time would you have?
Speaker 1:I would have a lot of time You'd have a lot of time, my wife would figure out what to do with that time I would have. You're right, the peace that would come with that will be amazing. However, the worry and the anxiety that I would have for the first few hours I was listening to, um, I was having a conversation with a friend who went moose hunting cool white boy shit.
Speaker 2:I'm dying to go but they were fuck that guy they were.
Speaker 1:He says too many n-words and people just go. Oh yeah, he's not racist, but he went moose hunting with a couple of friends and it was a 10 day expedition in the wilderness with no cell coverage.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I don't know what I can disconnect for 10 days.
Speaker 3:I think you could. Here's why. One you're moose hunting, right, so your biggest worry is am I about to get impaled by a 10 foot tall moose?
Speaker 2:don't fuck around. You don't have time to worry about other shit, you have to make sure you don't die right, because while you're, hunting the moose. There's other big shit hunting that moose too, like there's grizzlies yeah, like you're not worried about, like, let me check my facebook page. No, you might die.
Speaker 1:No, I wouldn't worry about that. It's not social media, it's the being connected, Like you said, for 24 hours. You know, on a Saturday I can't be off grid 10 days, maybe not 10 days right.
Speaker 3:But, if you're gone for three or four days, I'm telling you One, it's going to be cold as shit. So all you're going to be thinking shit you gotta do first, you gotta go. All you gotta go rambo style, first of all moose.
Speaker 1:Oh, we're not where it's hot, so never mind, you're gonna be up damn near the polars, right, right.
Speaker 3:so like, yeah, it's gonna be cold as shit, right, so you'd be worried about that too. You're trying to go kill something, so you don't want to mess that up. Three, there's other things around there that will kill you, yeah, so you got to worry about that. Like there's a lot of things you need to worry about before worrying about, you know, a missed call.
Speaker 1:Dude, I would love so much and I hope people listen to this they can figure it out, because I need to figure it out. You know I'm not speaking like I have the answers. I'm looking for the answers.
Speaker 3:You can make the time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got to figure it out.
Speaker 3:Once again, you go to your calendar and you put in on this day for this time I'm doing this shit. Yeah Right, there's no surprises because it's on the calendar. If you need to tell your business partners, hey, I'm going to be out of town in the future, on this day for this time, don't call me.
Speaker 1:People respect that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm not going to call you Right, because I'm sure there's nothing life-changing as far as work is concerned that's going to happen between those hours, that they can't talk to you before those hours or after those hours.
Speaker 1:Gotcha, Do you ever think about having the perfect day? Forget three or four days Like this is my day. This is everything I'm going to do in this day, Cause it's crazy, Cause something as simple as that I fantasize about. You know, some people have wild fantasies. I just have fantasies about give me two days where I'm home, I'm not going anywhere, but I just need the perfect day that starts with prayer, meditation. It starts with working out, going to the gym, having brunch, going to get a nice massage, playing around the golf, having more food, you know, catching up on a show that I like, watching some, you know, and just it's whatever. Right Self-care.
Speaker 3:You could literally do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:On your calendar. I'm going to wake up and I'm going to do this. Here's the secret sauce.
Speaker 1:It's called a calendar.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you've heard of this thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's called a calendar. You got to put it on there.
Speaker 3:What you do is you literally plan your shit out, right yeah, and then you do the shit that you have planned out. Plan the shit, do the shit you say you're going to do. But I mean, obviously it's easier said than done, right yeah, like there are going to be wild cards, you know, there are going to be audibles that you need to call when shit just happens that you have to take care of. But that is so rare, right? We've been sitting here for I don't know how much time, and I'm guarantee you like nothing has happened in this time that you were like, oh my God, we got to stop because my kid's arm fell off. You can make it happen, it's just you have to get out of your own way.
Speaker 2:Very true.
Speaker 3:Obviously, we all have relationships with the people that we we love, and we also have relationships with people that we care not to be around but we have to, whether it be work or family right. How do you balance their impact on you? Because there's some people that you don't want to talk to, that you don't, you have no choice.
Speaker 1:You have to talk to them and they're and they're not good Like we've been in a situation together, working together, where there was someone there that we would have loved to not talk to Right Right, but unfortunately that nice person didn't have their shit together and that trickled down on us, affecting our mental health, because that was a definite toxic yeah that was the worst and it was right around the time that my father had died and I had the worst time dealing with that and balancing work and being around a dude who didn't give two shit and, in fact, using that tragedy to some kind of way, make it all gimmicky. Like hey, why don't you just tell all of the reps what's happening with you personally and publicize it?
Speaker 1:to try to get some kind of to try and get some kind of better bond with them or whatever, never mind the way I want to grieve and mourn or anything like that. It was so pathetic. Yeah, I've dealt with that shit and you're right. And I couldn't say in that environment, and we're not there anymore.
Speaker 1:So I don't know that I have. There's this meme that I saw, you know, one time, where it says black people got one reason why they're always leaving a job, and that reason is they had me fucked up. It seems to be the common reason why did? Why'd you quit that job? Why'd you got fired? They had me fucked up, you know, and so I don't. I don't stay in those environments. I think there's enough challenge, you know, with the world. So I don't have a knee jerk reaction, but I plan my exit. The second you say some shit or you act a certain way and I go. Oh, I can't be here anymore. In my head, I'm already gone, I've already made my transition. Oh, I'm making it.
Speaker 3:I just don't tell you, I think for me, like with my kids, I always want to make sure that I'm having a good time with my kids.
Speaker 2:That you are.
Speaker 3:Yep, like when they see me, it's playtime.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It. They see me, it's playtime. Yeah right, it doesn't matter if my back is spasming, it doesn't matter if I have the worst day at work ever, like it doesn't matter, because what I don't want is for them to grow up and be like oh, you know, my dad really didn't love me and you know he never smiled and we never had a good time yeah that's why I'm sitting here in therapy, that's why I'm dancing on this pole, because daddy didn't love me. It's like no no, I'm not not playing that game.
Speaker 3:Yeah Right, it's like I can. I can suck it up and put on a smiley face, no matter what's happening.
Speaker 1:It's not fair to them. It doesn't matter that you you know, yeah, you went out and work 14 hours, but when you come home and they want to run down the stairs and jump on the fifth step and you better catch them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's just what it is. Yep, a hundred percent A hundred percent. Um, now, I don't always extend that same uh policy to my wife, which is probably isn't fair. My reasoning is it's like we are growing up, you know. You know the bullshit we're going through right now. Like you're growing up, um is that fair?
Speaker 1:though it's not, it's not fair. So how do you reconcile that, like, what are you doing about that? That's a great question, stefan.
Speaker 3:Sounds like a whole other podcast, because that's a, that's a deep question. You can't just like I need. I need to take her out on a date to a nice dinner, have some drinks, maybe do a show and just show my appreciation yeah but yeah it's. It's tough because it's like I can. I can mask it and you know, just crunch the stress way down deep and bury it and put on the smiley face yeah and make sure that you know I'm there for the kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah, um, but then when it comes to my wife, I'm like well you know you're an adult. Like you get it like yeah, you know what?
Speaker 2:we don't try, we're trying to do you know we're trying to, we're grinding, we're hustling. It's not gonna be fun, but when we get there, everything will be fun for everybody exactly that's what you're trying to get to exactly, exactly.
Speaker 3:So it's like I'm we're gonna get to this point eventually. I promise you that we will. It's gonna suck now, right, but when we get to this point eventually, like we're gonna be good, everyone's gonna be happy yeah, and then.
Speaker 3:But what happens is what dies along the journey, and sometimes it's not the kind of thing you can revive this is true, which is why I have to make sure that you know if I want to be in my little poopy moods, I don't push her away too much or I don't say or do anything too stupid where it's like I can't come back from that yeah, and she knows me now I come home and she asks me something and I'm quick with my response, she's just kind of like all right, I'm not dealing with this negro right now, like yeah, and then I'm like I'm gonna go start to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 3:You know, then you're just in the bathroom for an hour playing on your phone, trying to decompress from the day, right so I'm not the only one who sits in the bathroom for an hour.
Speaker 1:This is every dad this is all dads.
Speaker 2:All dads are in the bathroom for minimum two hours a day if we didn't go in there with our phone 20 minutes a day.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, I wouldn't do it to do myself.
Speaker 3:The other day bro, the other day I went in.
Speaker 1:I forgot my glasses, so I was there with my phone. I'm like, fuck, I can see shit. I'm trying to play this game. I'm hitting the red blocks, but I meant to hit orange. It was all fucked up, man, yeah, I was like damn it.
Speaker 3:And I wanted to call and be like babe you might need to get a second pair just for the bathroom.
Speaker 1:You know that would be a bad.
Speaker 3:I just leave it in there, just in case you need to put that on your calendar to go get a second pair.
Speaker 1:That's funny.
Speaker 3:So I mean so yourself. So how do you make that balance?
Speaker 1:Ooh, I think that's how we started off the conversation. I'm not doing a very good job of it right now. I don't know that I have the balance. I think that my mental health is, you know, impacted by it. I'm trying to do all I can.
Speaker 1:I told my wife last night just how much I appreciated her, and what I really want to say is just you know, I tell her, you know, I just need to do a better job of it. So here's what it is like. There's actions and there's words. Right, Don't tell me, show me so. Because I'm that way. I'm trying to get to the point where all I do is show it. I still say it, but I want to do more showing it. And sometimes, when I don't feel like I'm doing enough, then I just shut down in a way where I won't even speak. Because then I just shut down in a way where I won't even speak because I feel like, well, what's the point of me saying something to you when I'm not able to back it up with action? So, even if that's her love language, I recognize it as I'm saying it. I'm saying it right now. That's, that's my problem.
Speaker 1:You know she's it's you know, she's focused on you know, on on us and keeping us together and just holding us down and working hard. She's still doing everything she has to do. And I'm in my head around and I'm making up these crazy scenarios that don't necessarily truly exist. I'm sure there's some truth to it, but, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm struggling with saying the same. I honestly. I mean it's hard to think about her and not get emotional because of how much she does for me, the support, the love, something that I've never had in my entire life.
Speaker 1:I had a friend of mine one time say we were golfing and he lost his wife to cancer, and he says that he goes my wife. She loved me like my mother loved me. Think about that, because there's no greater love. Yeah, there's no person in this world. Bro, if I, if I lost all my functions I know that without shame my seven year old mom, she would take care of me and probably extend her life so I can have a better quality of life and thereby extending my life. If that, if you know what I mean and you don't control, if that, if you know what I mean and you don't control, when you die but you know what I mean Like her will to live would last longer would last longer, because she has to take care of this 50 year old who can't wipe his own ass, right?
Speaker 1:So I say that to say that my wife loves me that way. Now, I would never want to put that kind of burden on her, cause I'm just kind of who's like nah, just let me go.
Speaker 2:Let me go, go ahead and pull the plug.
Speaker 1:I'm that guy, right? Yeah, me too. Don't want to put that on anybody whatsoever, but that's how I feel, that she loves me because of what she shows me, you know, at my weakest moments in my week and this is what every man needs man type of way, or do you have, you know, um, some kind of skill, or it's just really, for me, what I'm looking for is what I already have, like what I was looking for, and it's crazy. I didn't know I was looking for it, but it's this crazy love and it's crazy support to feel that, man, you're made whole and you're still a man.
Speaker 3:You're still this strong presence, even when you feel like you're weakest you need to uh set reminders in your phone to say something nice, yeah, because there's the saying the appreciation and then showing the appreciation if you decrease one, then you have to increase the other because it's not for you, it's for someone else it's for her yeah, priorities.
Speaker 3:So when do you feel it's like it's? Should it be a a when major life thing happens, or should it be when I hit this age? Or should it be when somebody tells me to revive my parties? That's a great question.
Speaker 1:So I think I think what should happen is younger people from the age of 17 should really give it some thought. You don't have to have all the answers, you don't have to know hey, this is what I want to do with my life, but you do need to know. This is where I want to be by this point and how do I get there. And you have to think about what that avenue is. The good thing about being that age is there's probably 15 different roads that will take you to that same destination, so you can figure out which one you want to take and just embark on that journey, right, um? So that's that's when they really should be thinking about it, and the priorities will shift and change along the way. But you need to be hyper-focused on what that goal is and not let anything get in the way. Say something does, your priorities will change.
Speaker 1:So for me, it was the birth of my first child. I wasn't prepared to have a kid. You know. That's really the truth be told. I wanted to have kids. I knew I love, I adore children. I just wanted to have my own kids An opinion which, by the way, has changed ever since. Now I'm like I'm older, I'm like, yeah, if I had to do it all over again, I probably wouldn't have children, because A, the world is shit and the world is shit.
Speaker 2:And B.
Speaker 1:I spent too much time worrying about them and it's just like I can't even live, couldn't breathe because I was thinking about something happening to them and lose my mind. So why would I put? You know, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't put myself through it. But back then I was like I wanted a kid, I wanted a kid. I didn't give it was a girl, a boy, I just wanted a kid. Well, but I wasn't ready and the person I and boom 26, my daughter's born, my world had to change.
Speaker 1:I was focused entirely on music. I was focused on making it and I was, you know, in clubs and in studios all the time. And I kept that up for a little bit. But immediately I got really serious. That's when my sales career really started, because up to then it was just like it's whatever, I'll get whatever type of job, but I'm really focused on just my making music. I just need enough just to barely pay the bills and rent out this one room. I don't need a whole apartment, just let me stay in a room. There's three guys sharing an apartment and I'm cool, um, but my kid comes along and I'm like, yeah, this has to change, so I get a real job, even though it was sales.
Speaker 1:But I got into a real company, I got a real job and I was at 10 years and got promoted and went up the ranks and it changed my entire life and my trajectory was different. It's hard to have an accident, bro. You know. You don't just you know what I mean. What I mean is like, like to me, like the most life changing event could be death, could be certain things, but it's really just the birth of a child, correct, and we approach this I shouldn't say we, but I did approach it that way and I know too many young men and women who approach it as if it was something they can't help, like it just fucking happened. It doesn't just happen. It happens because you take certain steps and certain actions and you're irresponsible in your approach. I was, and that's how a lot of people end up with children when they themselves are still growing.
Speaker 1:They're kids themselves At 26,. I will tell you with absolute certainty I was a complete idiot, but I still think that if you have a solid foundation and a solid roadmap, is anchored with values and character, you might fumble here and there, but you don't go backwards.
Speaker 3:So I think you need to write all of your immutable plans in pencil right. All of the. This is what I'm gonna do, this is where I'm gonna be, this is how I'm gonna. I'm gonna get there. Write all that shit in pencil right because, like you just said, when you were 24, you know this is it. I'm gonna be this world famous musician. I'm gonna be killing it. I'm gonna show my dad that I'm the best thing since sliced bread right ever picked up, whatever instrument it was. Two years later, you got to break out that eraser.
Speaker 3:It's not as a challenge.
Speaker 1:You got to feed that kid.
Speaker 3:You got to erase. You got to erase and wipe it away. Cool, these are my new goals. As long as you're moving forward, that's all that really matters.
Speaker 1:So this was really helpful for me. But I can't be the only one who's struggling with this balance thing. Just this balance, this balancing act is tough man. And I'm not saying that women are not going through it, obviously they are right. They are going through it themselves and they have their own set of problems, and sometimes they're the same. But for me, I feel like, as a man, it's like there's the extra weight. I'm not sure if it's an extra. It's not fair to say that I guess I don't extra weight. I'm not sure if it's an extra weight. It's not fair to say that I guess I don't, for lack of a better phrase.
Speaker 1:I kind of feel like there's what you have to do, there's the expectation, and then there's this imagined expectation that we put on ourselves. There's the societal pressures, there's all these different things, and I don't think there's enough grace for when we fail At least I don't give it to myself, right? So when there's failure and I've had plenty of failures when I'm facing those, I'm hard on myself in terms of, like what this is that I'm doing, how could I allow this to have happened? And all these crazy. They serve zero purpose and I know this. My higher self is sitting there going wait, wait, wait. That's not the way to fix any of that, but my ego, myself, my personality, this person that I am here living in this experience, is not okay.
Speaker 1:That balance is. It's the toughest thing. I have children and they're so individualistic. Each one of them is an entirely different world. There's not like I'm just going to do this with my kids entire different world. There's not like I'm just going to do this with my kids and I find that I'm not doing enough for each of them and I'm not giving them enough of my time individually. And they all need it. Definitely not doing enough for my wife, who's not needing it but deserves it, and yet I still have to function and go, do all these things and the balance is, to me, seems almost impossible. So what are some sustainable routines that you would recommend or that you've implemented yourself in your own life?
Speaker 3:Um.
Speaker 1:so there's this great tool Um don't say fucking calendar one more time.
Speaker 3:It's called a. Uh. It rhymes with, like coriander. What kind of word? What is it called? It's like they used to write it in stone cauldron cauldron no abacus sammy samsonite calendar.
Speaker 2:Calendar so is that all it is is?
Speaker 1:that really all. It is just gonna write everything down that's that.
Speaker 3:That's a tool. You have to know what to put in the calendar, and what I mean by that is one of the things that you brought up was everyone deserves my time. What you need to do is talk to each person and say I'd love to be there for you. What does that mean to you? Right, because one of your kids might say, hey, it'd be really nice if maybe, we grab lunch once a week. Someone else might say, hey, really nice If you could play a game with me once a week, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, everyone is different.
Speaker 3:For each one it's going to be different for each person. You can't just automatically assume that it's. They all want to hang out with me because I'm the most amazing dad in the whole world. They all want.
Speaker 1:They all want to just be blessed with my presence take my kids to TCBY and that traumatized them because they quickly learned that whenever I would take them to get no, they quickly learned that whenever I would take them to get frozen yogurt, it's because I wanted to have a serious conversation about something they were fucking up. So now to this day, if I go, hey, you want to go to TCBY, even though they're grounded like no, no, thanks.
Speaker 2:We go to Cold Stone, we're not going to TCBY, though.
Speaker 3:There's something about that place. You're gonna lecture us for two hours, I think, yeah. So I think what you need to do is you need to talk to each one of your kids and just say hey look, I'd love to be more present. What does that mean to you? Like, what do you?
Speaker 1:I love that right, because you're so smart.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you just can't assume, just ask I don't think a single one.
Speaker 1:I don't know. I shouldn't say I don't think, I know. Not a single one of my children is sitting around going. I can't wait for dad to make it. So they are all like doing their own thing and on their own path and their own journey, and so that I'm really, really blessed and I'm so proud of them for that reason.
Speaker 3:I think you answered your own question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess I did so. Hey, man, this was a real impactful conversation. I think that this is this is one of those things that obviously we we struggle with. I know I did. Uh, I am in some way, shape or form, you are to some degree, I don't know that. I know too many people who are responsible for themselves and others who are not dealing with. You know being inadequate and just not doing enough and and struggling to even find time to for themselves to decompress.
Speaker 1:I understand why sometimes, when women find that self-care day and then they go do something that may seem silly to us, like whether you just go get a pedicure, just sit there and just allow yourself to be pampered for a little bit. I need to figure something out. You're right, Just using the calendar and making time for it. Figure out what that is. I love. I think it bears repeating. It's so important what you just said. Find out what that looks like for each person, people that matter to you, your children, your wife. What does that look like? How do you show up for them? I think that is so crazy critical. Brother, you are a gentleman and a scholar. I will say man. Any final words?
Speaker 3:Let's go Get a calendar, get a calendar.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening folks. Be sure to follow us on all social medias at Manhood Matters Podcast. Let's get it. Talk to you guys next week.
Speaker 3:Get a calendar, get a calendar.
Speaker 2:Listen to the podcast. It in your calendar Every Monday. Listen to the podcast. Get a calendar.
