Manhood Matters Podcast
Conversations around challenges dominating a man's journey through life. These topics are explored by real, everyday friends, with a lot of experience... And we have the occasional expert guest.
Manhood Matters Podcast
In Sickness And In Health: Three Stories of Survival, Faith, and Unconditional Love
Three stories of survival that will leave you questioning what it truly means to love someone "in sickness and in health."
Willie and Patrice Nash, along with Stanley Jean, share unfiltered accounts of their brushes with death and the profound love that pulled them through. From Patrice's harrowing post-hysterectomy complications where toxins silently poisoned her body, to Willie's misdiagnosed blood clots that nearly took his life, to Stanley's seven-hour brain surgery that left him unable to remember his children's names – each story reveals what happens when mortality stares you in the face.
What makes these stories so powerful isn't just the medical drama, but the extraordinary acts of devotion that followed. Spouses who refused to leave hospital rooms, who made life-or-death decisions together, who cleaned bodily fluids without hesitation, who held space for fears too terrifying to name aloud. "That love is about as strong as it's ever gonna be," one survivor reflects, capturing the transformation that occurs when relationships are tested by crisis.
Beyond the immediate danger, these experiences triggered profound life changes. Priorities shifted dramatically - from partying to parenting, from neglecting health to vigilant self-care, from taking loved ones for granted to answering every call. As Stanley puts it, "It's a new me... This is a whole different spirit." These aren't just stories about surviving; they're testaments to how facing death can fundamentally change how we choose to live.
Whether you're married, single, or somewhere in between, these intimate conversations will make you reconsider what it means to truly have someone in your corner. Who would fight for your life when you couldn't? Who would you fight for? Subscribe now for more raw, honest discussions about the experiences that shape our lives and relationships.
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Host: StéphaneAlexandre
IG: @stephanealexandreofficial
Music by Liam Weisner
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To be honest with you, I didn't think that I was going to lose her. I didn't feel it. All I knew is that I had to be there for the children. I had to be there for her. I couldn't let her see me down with what was going on with her. So when I did leave the hospital, that's when I was able to kind of release and just like cry, you know, on the way to the kids. It was always hard for me to leave her there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I would say a couple of months after she got better. Then I started kind of thinking about and it could be all the death that happened.
Speaker 2:Have you ever had a situation where you find yourself staring death right in the face, your body's failing, doctors are baffled and the outcome is totally uncertain. Who do you lean on? How do you hold on to hope when the odds say you shouldn't be here? In this episode, we sit down with my very good friends, willie and patrice nash, and my brother from another mother, stanley gene. Three powerful stories of survival, resilience and unshakable faith. From being misdiagnosed to waking up from surgeries that honestly lasted way too long, they've all faced a terrifying moment of this. Might be it, so to me, these stories are really about having someone there for you. They are truly about having love and unconditional support. If you're married, you need to listen to this. If you're single, you need to find you someone who will be there, the way these people found the support that brought them back and helped them survive. Welcome to Manhood Matters. Let's get to it. I wanted to have a conversation with very close friends. You know, willie, you're one of my closest friends. I love you, brother, love you too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, stan, same brother Known this dude for 20, 30 years. I can do math Close to 30.
Speaker 3:Yes, crazy.
Speaker 2:So the reason I thought about this particular episode is as of late I'm going to say the past couple of years I've had to face death a lot. You know, I lost my father last year. I've lost other friends. I lost my cousin last year as well. She's a few years older than I am. She had, you know, just a very aggressive type of cancer. So I've had to think about a whole lot of that right. And then I realized I was kind of a bad friend in a way, real Like as much as I. I have a lot of friends, but there's a circle. You guys are in that inner circle. As far as I'm concerned, it's family. And I was checking on willie I want to say it's 2022 and I called you. I was like man, what's going on? We haven't talked in a while. And then you were like man, I was in the hospital.
Speaker 1:Damn, you died you, I almost died twice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then Stanley, same thing. This dude was in the hospital for a long time, went through a lot and by the time I told the both of you guys you were already out of it. So I felt like shit, because for one I wasn't there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, you say, you, my friend, I know Stay alive.
Speaker 2:I wasn't there, I didn't know. And, stanley, I remember you said something very specific. You said I thought you knew. Yeah, and I was like if I had known I would have been there, I would have called you. You think I I knew and I just fuck it, I'm not gonna call, I'm not gonna check on you, nothing. So I just didn't know. And I felt horrible. And when you're in a hospital and you're going through something, you're not thinking. Let me go down the list of who I need to reach out to, who I need to let know, that's exactly that's on your mind.
Speaker 2:I can't even say anything about that. I can't, I'm sorry. It just really, really sucks. But it made me think about it and it made me kind of again, you know, contemplate my own mortality, my own death. But I want, I want this story to not be about this. I want the story to be a story of survival, obviously, because we're here and just ask some questions about how you overcame what you overcame, what you went through and kind of share that with us.
Speaker 1:And one thing, another thing that you didn't know is that my wife same thing, yeah, you know she had a near-death experience which I let her talk about this is about to be deep, so let's get right into it.
Speaker 2:Who wants to go with their story? What happened?
Speaker 4:ladies first mine was because I had a full hysterectomy before then. I had other complications. Just being very transparent, because I know it's a lot of men listening to this, so sorry if y'all don't understand what all had to go through, but I got what they consider as IUD and I had complained from the beginning that something wasn't right with it.
Speaker 1:I then went to the doctor, I knocked the IUD out of place, okay.
Speaker 4:This nigga Savage, this nigga Savage.
Speaker 3:Okay, so the IUD was not in place.
Speaker 1:We don't know why.
Speaker 4:But it was called my husband Taking credit, right. So we get here and I go to the doctor, finally, because I'm having some serious pains and they find out that it was connected to my fallopian tubes. So, long story short, they had the first surgery. We removed it. I'm still cystic, what they consider cystic woman whole different world of for men and so we went about me getting ready to do a full hysterectomy, had the hysterectomy. Nothing everybody hears about women having hysterectomies like an everyday, everyday thing, you know, go through it whatever.
Speaker 4:Well, for me it wasn't that case, because got sent home right immediately after I was fine for probably what about four or five days and I couldn't use the restroom and I was like I don't understand what's happening here. So we tried to like do over the counter medicine because none of the prescriptions was working. Long story short, I ended up having severe hemorrhaging and was upstairs in the bathroom by myself and my mom was there, my husband was there, the kids was there, but nobody could hear me.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow.
Speaker 4:So I finally was able to scream loud enough to get, I believe, my mom's attention. Willie was in the basement so she went and got him. They put me in the bathtub. They see me hemorrhaging. My kids see it. At this point I'm like I'm done. I looked at my mom and said take care of my kids.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 4:So I told you.
Speaker 2:I was going to cry.
Speaker 4:Yeah. The thing that pulled me to fight more was not my husband, not my mom, but my son, who, at this time, was not very emotional at all. He just doesn't show emotions was not very emotional at all.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:He just doesn't show emotions. And he came in there and screamed Mommy, no. And I said okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:So he called you back.
Speaker 4:He pulled me back.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:We get to the hospital, I'm still conscious. I never lost consciousness or anything. My vitals seemed to be okay, but they knew something was going on. I stayed in the hospital for probably 16, 17 days them searching well, 13 days of them searching to see what was going on. Come to find out I was basically having where IUD. It ruptured my bowels when they did it, so I had toxins behind my colon that was spilling into my body, so my platelet counts were going high but they couldn't find any infection. This was after two to three blood transfusions, from what I remember from them telling me because I was conscious but I couldn't. I wasn't there.
Speaker 2:You were out of it.
Speaker 4:I hadn't eaten, the only thing I could do was take a spoonful of Jell-O to take the medicine, but to the point where I remember my doctor saying I'm just going in blind because we don't know. So if it wasn't for my doctor actually saying you know what we just we got to take everything off the table and just search. So like the house scene where they go in and just search for something, that's where they lifted and saw all the toxins. This happened in December 13th I think. I didn't recover fully until like March or April and that plays into his story. We lost quite a few people that year, so we were dealing with a lot of deaths. And then my husband, if you want to tell your story happened in July.
Speaker 2:Well, before we go into that, how old is your son when this is happening, because he comes in screaming? Mom, you know how old is he?
Speaker 4:So he was like 9, 10.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, and he's typically a stoic kind of kid just doesn't show emotion at all, like when I tell you he.
Speaker 4:He's shown emotion with me a few times, but no, he doesn't wear his feelings on his sleeve at all and it's not something he was taught. It's just who he is yeah and to see the hurt in his face. I couldn couldn't deal with that. I couldn't leave him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't want to change subjects here, but I totally believe in these choices that we have on a spiritual level, where it's a decision for us but that's a subject for another day. So you made the decision there and to me that resonates so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree with that, because even through my husband, having seen some things, I've lost a lot as a man. You really don't want to see, but I actually anybody want to see it, but I know I was there for it all he was.
Speaker 4:He never left my side. He would go check on the kids every blue moon, but my mom and dad held us down.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:They really rallied around our kids. My nieces came to keep them their mind off of it, to the point where my brother got on the interstate because they didn't know what would happen to me and he just drove. He was like I want to see my sister.
Speaker 4:Coming from Memphis Coming from Memphis, coming from Memphis. He never told his wife. I just wake up in the room and they're like, is your brother there? And I'm like he is, what are you doing? And nobody knew. Yeah, because at this point this was right before my last surgery and after they got ready to do the next blood transfusion, right before they got ready to do the next blood transfusion and he was just like I had to lay eyes on you and he was the one that was actually besides Willie, that stayed through my surgery and he's always been my protector. So to have him there and at this point I'm really not understanding the severity of it all. To this day I can't feel what they felt like. I know it traumatized him. It traumatized my kids to the point where my daughter was very protective of me.
Speaker 4:She didn't want her daddy touching me. She, she, she couldn't understand our love because she was scared. It put some fear in her because she saw more than she should have, because they rushed me into her bathroom. Oh, wow, it was a lot for a lot of the ones that I love, and I thank them for never giving up. My mom cussing doctors out like y'all got to fix this. And the power of prayer yeah, it's truly, truly a blessing.
Speaker 2:How are you today?
Speaker 4:I'm great. Today I had a um going back to prophesying Um, I had a friend right after this. Me and her had never talked outside of school. She didn't know my story, she didn't know anything that was going on. And she sent me a message and she said I don't know what's going on with you, but God sent it to my heart to say you'll never hurt again.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 4:And I haven't. And no one knew I was suffering as bad Like I'll be, like I'm in pain. But he didn't know the levels of the pain that I was going into until right before the surgery, to the point where I could barely walk. I never want him to see me that vulnerable ever again. That hurt him, it scared him, it scared my kids.
Speaker 2:God, I just You're going through all this, but you're thinking you don't want them hurting. That is truly the heart of, like you said, of a wife and a mother. Yeah, I'm so glad that on that day you weren't home alone.
Speaker 4:Exactly and ironically, the way I knew I was feeling better. But prior to this I have serious sinus issues, so I couldn't smell anything. That's a whole nother bell. And I couldn't smell anything. That's a whole nother matter. And I couldn't smell a thing. So my brother's in there with me and I looked at him. I said hey, I think I want some McDonald's. He's like you want to eat? I was like yeah, but he didn't know the significance of the fact that I said I wanted to eat because it had been like crazy days. Then I smelled the McDonald's and I was like, oh shit, I can smell all these drugs they gave me. I don't learn how to smell again. So he ended up the first thing I said was tell Willie to bring me my perfume. He bought me there. Everybody said they loved how it smelled. So that was like the turning point. But during the whole time I would never say that I was in bad spirits because I didn't understand the magnitude of what I was going through. Yeah, so it wasn't like like I'm facing death.
Speaker 4:I know now what it was right, but they kept my spirits high. The nursing staff was amazing. They gave me gifts when I left. That's how I think they were like she's been here forever because it was right before Christmas and they were like we're going to get you home before Christmas.
Speaker 1:It was only like two or three, maybe two or three days before Christmas.
Speaker 4:So the kids decorated the tree for me, which was still, to this day, the worst tree ever. It was beautiful, it beautiful, it's like y'all did that and my nieces helped them and I was so happy for them. Um shout out to carissa and jaylen for holding their sisters and brother sister and brother down. They call them their sister and brother, but, but you know, but they truly rallied around my family and showed unconditional love.
Speaker 2:It's beautiful Willie. I thought it was one time, but apparently it was twice.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was twice the first was probably the worst. Trees probably had to hit me a lot with this, because what year was that? 18? 2018,.
Speaker 4:July, yeah, 2018. That's like what a year apart, not even a year Wow. Yeah, it was a death every month from January to June. Then his story happened in July.
Speaker 1:So I kept getting winded, you know, and I couldn't understand why and I know I'm fat as fuck, but that wasn't it you know, it wasn't it wasn't the normal out of breath yeah, you know what I'm saying. I'm you know, just putting shoes on and I'm, you know, out of breath, or putting clothes on and I'm like man, something's not right, you know.
Speaker 1:So I um tell my wife I'm gonna set an appointment with my primary care. I went up there and, um, they said it was, you know, asthma Idiot. Yeah, it got me an asthma pump and you know. But I'm like no, this is not right. So I was came home and I said you know, trish, I think I'm just going to go lay down. I started walking up the steps, made it halfway up the steps and I'm sweating.
Speaker 4:I didn't go half him.
Speaker 1:Nine and a half steps Two steps, two steps, and I just started sweating and I'm, you know, out of breath and I'm like, let me just get to the bed, I'm going to go lay down. She was like no, we're going to the emergency room, all right. So we get to the emergency room, I go in, they come in and do, and I think my oxygen level was like 70, 80%.
Speaker 3:They was like uh-uh, come on, they put me in the wheelchair. What's?
Speaker 2:it supposed to be 90 plus 95, 96.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I don't know anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So, walking from the car to just the front desk in the emergency room, you know, I was like tired Swimming, like profusely swimming, yeah, like profusely sweating, yeah. So they was like, uh, they put me in a wheelchair, sent me to the back, start putting me through all these tests, the machines and the EKG and all the different types of stuff. So as we was waiting on the results to come back, uh, the doctor came. They put me in a room. Doctor came in and said have you been traveling out of the country or anything? I was like no, so what do you do for a living? I said, well, I sell life insurance, so I drive a lot in the state of Georgia. He said, well, you have several blood clots in your lungs. I was like what we got to do? A surgery right now, emergency surgery. So they take me to the back, they did a clot busting thing where they go into my groin and it didn't work.
Speaker 1:I can't remember how long I was in the hospital, but I mean, I I know that I didn't, and even then I didn't know how serious that was. I was, you know, tired and breathing hard and you know, and all this stuff couldn't, couldn't catch my breath.
Speaker 4:So you didn't tell the whole story that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:She got to be here. I'm glad you're here. Tell it. Tell it, Patrice.
Speaker 4:They give you heparin and it's supposed to thin out your clots. They gave him a high dosage of heparin. That was 24 hours. It didn't work. So they came back and said there's two clots that we're worried about. One is next to your heart and there's one in your lungs. If we don't do this, you won't make it, you won't survive. When he say they just go through the groin and the burst, that's not true. The way they came and explained it to us was he's going to have to lay flat on his back for 24 hours.
Speaker 1:I do remember that, yeah.
Speaker 4:And he cannot move, he cannot lift anything, he can't turn because he will bleed out. It will make his brain bleed, oh my God. So risk is see what happens with the heparin if it keeps working or if it eventually works with the heart, or do this because we need to burst these clots. At the time, the struggle was he was also going through a gout flare up and, which is very significant to his health, he had the gout flare up so it was essentially painful in his foot. But they were like you can't move your foot, you can't do anything. So he was like I just want y'all to treat this foot. His foot was hurting so bad that he couldn't focus on his heart, I didn't care about the blood clot.
Speaker 1:That's a lot of pain.
Speaker 4:At this point I never knew the significance of gout or how extreme it can get. And he is there's like it's worse than childbirth. I was like nothing's worse than childbirth I've had. It was like no, it's like worse pain, like it's continuous throbbing pain that you can't get away from. So he kept fussing about the foot and I'm like honey, we need to focus on what are we going to do? He decided to do the 24 hour. We prayed about it. Another time. My parents and his uncle rallied around Dad came, your dad his dad.
Speaker 4:His dad didn't travel like that, like get on the road. His dad came, his sister came, everybody, our family. We're not from Atlanta, so every time we have an issue they got to travel from Memphis. So they got to come six hours For any kind of family emergency. Drop of the dime, they're there. They put him flat for 24 hours.
Speaker 1:Which sucked it did suck.
Speaker 4:And he couldn't move I can only imagine five minutes.
Speaker 2:I can't sit still.
Speaker 4:And it's no drugs. They don't put you to sleep, they don't do anything. You can't use the restroom At the bed Like they just gotta lift your butt. All that. So when he say, he saw some stuff, I saw some stuff too.
Speaker 3:Y'all sharing stuff we're sharing stuff.
Speaker 4:What's your stuff like?
Speaker 2:That love is about as strong, as strong as it's ever gonna be.
Speaker 4:So he, he went through that and that love is about as strong as it's ever going to be. So he went through that and he overcame it, but he always. They told him he was going to have to only do blood thinners for a year, but then he had a second bout of blood clots which is significant to the gal.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's when we talked you and I.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's when we talked. And that one I felt this pain in my leg, which that's where it started. They started in this left leg. So I was feeling this pain in my leg. I wasn't feeling the symptoms of being tired and out of breath, but it was just a pain in the leg. So we were at the mall walking around. I said man, that's not right. I said I need to go ahead and go to the doctor in case it is another clot or whatever.
Speaker 4:He's like I'm getting that feeling again yeah.
Speaker 1:And I had stopped taking the blood thinners and all that I hadn't taken them in a long time Right and went to the hospital. Another blood clot.
Speaker 4:No, this one Right and went to the hospital.
Speaker 1:Another blood clot. No, this one was worse, so go ahead. That one is fine that one they did.
Speaker 4:They were able to treat it with the heparin, so he didn't have to stay in the hospital as long. But yeah, that one was scarier too. So now he's on blood thinners for the rest of his life. But what we figured out was not through the help of doctors, but just knowing your body and watching what you do and patterns, and that's why it's very important to document what's happening. We can almost pinpoint if he had a gout flare-up and traveled with that gout flare-up, because it stiffens your arteries in your legs. It's pretty much collecting blood. That's what the gout is doing.
Speaker 1:It's a crystalline, yeah, you're building up in your, in your body.
Speaker 4:So your blood flow is not there and he would travel on a flare I mean a gout flare up because he'd be like I got a flare up but I gotta go, I gotta, I gotta steal. The first, I think, we were going to Chicago. Then you ended up working when you got the flare up and then you got the clot. Then the next time we were going to Memphis and he couldn't even enjoy Memphis because he had the flare up. But he traveled back home driving your leg's stuck. Still, you're in pain. Guess what you have another blood clot.
Speaker 4:So now it's a rule for me if he has a gout flare-up, he can't go anywhere.
Speaker 2:Can't go anywhere.
Speaker 1:So it starts with that gout. So basically what it is controlling the gout really helps me pretty much stop eating red meat, stop drinking beer.
Speaker 3:No alcohol right.
Speaker 4:That's not going to be true, just the beer.
Speaker 1:I gave him the beer and stuff. I still drink, but I don't drink as much. No, I have a drink. My uncle came over to the house the other day and I had a couple of drinks with him.
Speaker 1:So it's more social and sometimes I don't even drink. I just try to avoid certain things because, like she was just saying, understanding your body, not understanding what triggers certain things to go on. So now I pay more attention, you know, to what I shouldn't do and I'm more alert, you know, about those type of things because I mean I want to see my, my kids, grow up. You know, I want to want to be here for them and Walk Mary down the aisle. Walk Mary down the aisle. Those things are more important to me now. Before, I just wanted to have a good time. I'm a party, I'm going to do whatever I can tell, that's the spirit.
Speaker 4:He was the life of the party. Now he could shut it down. I always mess with him the Nash name. If anybody knows the Nash's, shout out to my peeps I love y'all, but they can drink.
Speaker 1:And they can start at like 10 am Until 2, 3, 4, 5 and you'll be like wait, and we can be in the front yard or the backyard and we're having a time. They're not out in the street.
Speaker 4:Don't think they're getting DUIs, no, no, this is just family hanging at the house, drinking together, laughing and joking at somebody's house, and they all stay there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, wow.
Speaker 4:So it was definitely a sobering moment for us because I would say we never grieved his hurt and one of the conversations I had with my dad right after he had his flare up, my dad asked how did we know? And I told him Willie's symptoms and all this stuff and my dad turned around and said well, I've been having some symptoms with my heart.
Speaker 4:My dad turned around and said well, I've been having some symptoms with my heart and we got into like one of our debates another day and I said, Dad, you need to go, because he had just got diagnosed with prostate cancer and he was like, if I die, it's going to be my heart and three months later it was his heart.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness.
Speaker 4:So knowing your body and listening to it is truly important. You know, you just can't play around with people, especially men. One thing that I was we're horrible at it. Y'all are.
Speaker 2:Let me tell you something. I've been to the doctor more times in the past three months that I have, and it's only because a friend of mine was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He's like you got to go check it out and so I've gone and gotten a couple of tests is the best part. I come back and Zola's like what did the doctor say? I'm like I don't fucking remember.
Speaker 1:He can't tell him. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4:He calls me if he's in the room.
Speaker 1:I put it on speakerphone.
Speaker 4:He has to put me on speakerphone. I don't care if I got to listen to what they're saying, because he's not going to remember, or I read his chart Like it's, because that's what pissed me off about him at the time. He was going to sit there and let this man I still don't know who this man is, because I will fuck him up he, literally the doctor told him yeah, it might be, bronchitis Might be, gave him an asthma pump and didn't test anything, didn't check anything. You didn't look at his vitals anything and Willie was like okay, he said it might. My mama had asthma, so I might have.
Speaker 4:I was like Negro, you ain't never had asthma before. Sounded good to me, right, I'm at work, literally at work. And I'm like Willie, no, you need to go to the next doctor. I said you need to go to the ER. He was like no, I'm just going to get some rest. I'm like, willie, are you good to drive? He was like yeah, I was like but I'm not going to go to the ER, I'll just wait till tomorrow. And the doctor said if he would have waited that next day he wouldn't have been here.
Speaker 4:But I left work early and said I have to go check on my husband because he just not sounding right, and I get there when I talk to him. I know he was on our couch. The stairs was probably where your stairs are. He made two stairs and I said you didn't even make it anywhere. He was like I'm going to get there. I was like no, you're not. You're going to get in this car and we're going to go to the doctor now. And he tried to fight me tooth and nail about getting in their car and I was like hell, no, like, what kind of wife would I be? To be like OK, baby, I'll just wait. So, ladies, if you out there don't listen to that crazy ass. They don't know shit. The roles you guys play is so crazy. It's so, so significant. I would not change our stories in any kind of way, because they're our story, but it brought us so much closer yeah like we realized we could fight anything during those times, because that was a hard.
Speaker 4:What 12 months for us. We lost parents, we lost aunties well, not aunties, uncles, uncles. We lost close friends. It was a lot that happened through that year, that's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot.
Speaker 3:It's a lot between what septic shock that could have happened to you and oftentimes that actually speaks to the hospital setting where these doctors are overworked. The hospital setting where these doctors are overworked. So, they'll see someone assume what the issue is and say maybe it's asthma, maybe because of his weight or whatever. Oh yeah, it's typical. Without doing any tests and you run the risk of losing someone's life. It goes to show how important I think I need women around.
Speaker 4:I won't why I have daughters women around.
Speaker 3:I won't I have daughters.
Speaker 1:That's why I say women, how many do you need?
Speaker 2:I only have girls around me. I'm going to make sure I said that.
Speaker 4:Delete that part. Let's go back and repeat it.
Speaker 3:I didn't mean to say that no, but I really do need all these female energies around me because they balance me out, because I'm also stubborn. I guess that leads me to my story.
Speaker 1:So I don't know where to start, because I don't know what started it you, the one that's moving iuds and causing problems, puncturing uh colons and all but uh for me it's.
Speaker 3:It's a little, um, unnerving because I don't know what caused it, so I don't know how to prevent it, if that makes sense. So a couple of years ago I think it was 2022, I was feeling a pain, a numbing pain. Though it's just on my right side For the most part. I would feel like I don't know how to explain it, but it's like being slightly electrocuted, but you could sense it. It's like nerves, that's how it feels. It's like I could feel that zzzz type of feeling. I don't know if you ever felt that before, but it would come and go no big deal. I'm a man. I got things to do.
Speaker 2:I have time to go to the doctor.
Speaker 3:I'm the only one working in the house and I have two daughters. That's what I meant by I have two daughters, a wife that I have to care for, you know. I mean, I have to make sure everything is correct. So, okay, cool, it comes and goes. But when it comes it'll come for like a week and then it'll disappear for like a month. But when it comes back it adds another anatomy to it. So it's not just my leg now, now it's my fingertips with the leg. So I'm just like, okay, cool quick thing.
Speaker 4:Did you have heart attack?
Speaker 3:no, okay, no, please no, but um, fortunately that that wasn't part of my heart. So again it goes and comes back, but now it's my arm, my leg and my fingertips. I'm just like whoa, something's wrong, but I'm not telling anybody, I'm just dealing with it for weeks on end you.
Speaker 3:Just, it was like a year, a year. It was like a year. I'm like yo, it comes, goes, no big deal. But at the point I was like yo, there's a problem. It hit my right side of my nostril, right up a lip. That's it, right. It was every hour on the hour, like every 9 16. I mean every 16 minutes after the hour it would happen. I'm like, okay, let me, let me speak to wifey and see what's going on. Like yo, listen, this is what's happening. She was like okay, let's go see the doctor. So we had this vip doctor that we were paying for. Best idea ever.
Speaker 3:I spent an hour and a half in the room just him talking to me. He's just right now, hour and a half, usually 15 minutes max. So hour and a half we're just talking. He was like, okay, I'm gonna send you out for an mri of the brain, see what's going on, because there must be some signaling. That's incorrect. So I'm just like, okay, cool, okay, mri was cool, came back waiting for the results. I see my doctor's number on my phone at. I think it was 9, 10 pm. I was like, damn, can't be good, you're not going to call me to tell me everything's good at 10 pm.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:So he's like yeah, you have a tumor in your brain, right, I know, I know. So it's like okay, cool, now that I didn't want to tell anyone because I'm concerned about their reaction.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. That's where you all went to first. All of you.
Speaker 3:You have to you have to, I have to keep everything together, uh, and have a plan before things, you know, run out of hand.
Speaker 3:So I'm just like okay, um, I have a tumor. What does that mean? He was like I don't know, I'm not really proficient in that area. Um, I might have to see a, uh, neurosurgeon. I went to go see the first one. He referred me to someone. He was cool. He says listen, I'm going to be honest with you. You can function, You're good, but at some point you're going to have to operate. I'm like wait, that changes everything. So I'm at the office, I'm laughing. I laugh at every time I'm uncomfortable, I laugh.
Speaker 2:The first reaction. It is what it is.
Speaker 3:So I'm laughing. I'm like, okay, cool, he tells me that and I come home. So by now my wife knows that I'm at the hospital. She's like, yo, what'd they say? What'd they say? I'm like, well, no big deal. I mean I'm functional, I'm good. There's no way I'm letting someone cut into my head. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Figure some things out that I'm not comfortable with, but you're not telling anything.
Speaker 3:I'm being honest now. Now I was getting serious. Okay, I have a tumor. Like come on, I'm just like what are you going to do? So I'm just like, okay, I had more information on how it came about. You know, it's the capillaries that are leaking blood into my brain and when my brain is sensing all this extra liquid, it's like yo, it's like paralyzed at some point, or it's just irritated, so it's sending a signal somewhere else, and it's like it's always happening. So at some point, that's that hemorrhaging that you were referring to.
Speaker 3:So I was like. The doctor said at some point you're going to have to do it Better. You do it now because you're younger. The doctor said at some point you're going to have to do it Better.
Speaker 3:You do it now because you're younger, Right Next 10 years you're not going to heal as fast or whatever. I'm like, whatever. So I'm chilling and I'm going to work, but my job entails working with a lot of clinicians, speaking to them in public, doing all this extra stuff. So now my wife has a friend that lives in Jersey. She says, hey, I have a friend that lives in, I mean, works at Mount Sinai in New York and he works with the chief neurosurgeon. Like you can't make this up.
Speaker 3:I was like oh, ok, cool, so he calls me, said yo, send me your scans, your MRI scans, and I'll give it to my doctor and we'll see what's up. That was Thursday. On Friday, the next day, he called me up. He was like yo, listen, I have an interview, we could do it virtually, and so on and so forth. I'll never forget this.
Speaker 3:My Leslie is the nurse practitioner of neurosurgery and she says oh, I think we need to see you as soon as possible. Monday I go up there. I remember right by my birthday time, november 14th, the chief comes out. Very serious guy comes out. He's like I know you understand what's going on. He says you're going to operate, ok, and I felt like a kid. I said OK, and it was right. Before he goes to vacation in December. He says and I want you to do it before I go on vacation, it's like two weeks. So I come out like now my life is like upside down. How is this going to affect me at any point? He's like no, don't worry about it, it's just going to be a scar. You have a scar, just that and the other. Your hair will grow back, no big deal. So I'm just like nothing's serious to me. I'm going have. I have a blast. I'm in my gown, anesthesia coming through. You know surgeries, I mean surgeons coming through everything wait a second at that point.
Speaker 2:So how's your, how's your wife reacting to all this? The news, I mean you're laughing through it, but how is she dealing with it?
Speaker 3:she's a quiet reactor. She thinks a lot, she's a planner, so she's not being very reactive, um, but she's thinking about it. She's a quiet reactor, she thinks a lot, she's a planner, so she's not being very reactive, um, but she's thinking about it. She's like okay, so this is what good, what we're going to do, so on and so forth, and, and I know how she is, though that's why I didn't want to speak to her, because now everything is happening it becomes real to you yes, very real, especially when I'm speaking to the kids about it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, now there I think she was. Celine was about 14 ish, isabel was about maybe 10. So I'm telling my girls I have a tumor. The probability of me not surviving it is kind of high, right. So I'm just like, uh, I'm letting them know and, mind you, my family has been going through a lot of downs and ups but, down some more and then ups.
Speaker 3:But the typical. But I know my, my children are experiencing all of this, so I'm adding another layer of a burden on their shoulders, like, hey, your dad, yeah, I know the provider right now. But yeah.
Speaker 3:And they get quiet. They ask questions and I tell them. So, long story short, I get into the operating room and I got to give love to my family my father, who lives here in Georgia, my other mom, marlene she's amazing, they drove up or flew whatever they did to New York. My mom is in the room, I mean in the waiting room, my cousins, my step stepmom, like people who aren't normally together yeah they all came it.
Speaker 3:It's so motivating, right? So I understand this. Everyone comes and I'm having surgery seven hours. Jeez, seven hours. They had to take a break. A few breaks as I'm on the table. Yeah, head open. The doctor's like I'm gonna take 15, yeah.
Speaker 2:They had to take a break, a few breaks, as I'm on the table, man, with your head open. Yeah, head open. The doctor's like I'm going to take 15.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he had to. You have to refocus, yeah. So, my God, all of this, I don't know. It's afterwards. I'm knowing, right, everyone's bugging out, like downstairs, like quiet, we don't know what's going on. And he's upstairs God knows what's going on.
Speaker 3:And, long story short, I'm coming out of surgery. I get into the PACU, I'm getting over anesthesia. I see someone familiar. I know who she is. Oh yeah, it's my wife. It didn't hit me until she said hey, everyone downstairs wants to speak to you. First thing she says, because you know, that's the dynamic downstairs, it's kind of tense. I'm like I really don't want to speak, but and I just froze, what's my kids names again? Wow, yeah, right now. I got goosebumps because I lost a lot of memory. I lost the abilities to speak. I'm speaking right now but I'm struggling. Like, well, I don't want to speak. I'm speaking right now but I'm struggling. I don't want to say I'm struggling. I have to be intentional on what I'm going to say, when I'm going to say it, because it messed up my whole. I'm not the same and I'll never be the same wow the level of, I guess, damage that occurred.
Speaker 3:it wasn't too bad, but it was bad enough for me to not remember my kids' names and, when I tell you, my head was like lopsided, serious atrophy going on. And my first thing that I said to everyone downstairs is don't worry about me, I'm going to make sure I fight back, make sure I come back to where I normally am. So I promise you and I'm really speaking to my daughters I promise you you ain't got nothing to worry about, I'm good. I promise you I'll make it work. I'll make it work. Make it work this whole time.
Speaker 3:And the kind of prayer and I guess that solitude you know, forces you to pray. It's kind of like a deep prayer that's saying oh your god, bro, I have no control of this. I I need you to step in, I need people to take care of my, my family, my kids, my wife, my this, that and the other, and I'm just like I have no control, which is why I still have a little feel, very, very little, that this may come back. It's like your own blood clots. Do you know what's causing them?
Speaker 1:not necessarily right not necessarily same thing idea, but you I mean exactly, so it's like any feeling I get in my leg.
Speaker 3:I'm yeah so you're on it right. Exactly that's how I feel right now, just like okay. Yes, this has been going for close to two years now, but I don't know how it came, so I don't know if I can prevent it at this point. So, with that being said, I came to this point in my life where I said you know what, everything that I didn't do before but wanted to do, I'm doing it now.
Speaker 4:Yes, yeah, it definitely gives you a new perspective on life. Thank God you're here.
Speaker 3:Thank God Absolutely, and your girls have been.
Speaker 4:I'm pretty sure your girls have been a strong support system for you.
Speaker 3:Oh, absolutely they didn't have to say anything. It's a new me, in a sense, where I went back to school. I was a C student in high school. I'm a 4.0 right now. How I can't make this up. I'm not tooting my own horn it's just like this is someone totally different. This is a whole different spirit. Right now it's just like okay, you were playing games. Yeah, now no more games. That's just how I feel right now.
Speaker 2:It's just different. That's actually a question that I have for all three of you. What's changed? What's the new you, after this very close call, for all three of you, what's the new sense of purpose?
Speaker 1:For me. I'm being more conscious. I go to the doctor. I need to know, I want to know what's going on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm going to tell this quick story about my friend, 48 years old. We were out partying for his birthday a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:The week later he had a stroke and it's like he knew that something wasn't right. He just figured that he can man through it. You know, and we have to realize that at the end of the day it's a human element to everything. You know, and we have to respect the fact that if you don't do what's necessary to try to help your situation, if we try to ignore it, it's going to eventually just blow up. Luckily his wife give a shout out to the wives. She got to him because he was driving. Wife made it to him within 30 minutes, got him to the hospital. They was able to put the medicine in him to reverse the stroke or whatever. So he had very limited damage, which was a blessing.
Speaker 1:He got all his faculties and things of that nature. So that happened and I brought him up simply because that kind of reiterated you know the things that you really need to do and we can't ignore it Like I'm losing weight. No, y'all probably can't tell.
Speaker 3:Yes, sir, let's go.
Speaker 4:I can tell baby I'm losing weight, okay, thanks.
Speaker 2:Don't make me an accountability partner.
Speaker 4:I will be on your ass, we don't do little people in our house.
Speaker 2:I put on a few pounds. I put on a few pounds.
Speaker 1:So I mean so. I've always heard you can't outwork a bad diet. That's a fact. I am getting more active and moving, more than I was moving before. You know, and I think about some people have a stroke and they can't talk anymore. I talk for a living. You know I have to be able to communicate and talk to people, so if I'm not able to do that, then I'm out of work.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what's changed for you two guys? You've gone back to school. You're a new person. Talk to me about that a little bit.
Speaker 3:They only gave me three months just to heal, because I didn't do rehab at all. But my job required for me to speak a lot for hours at a time. I can't even remember the script. I can't remember. You know what I do, but I couldn't do it as well as I once did, you know I needed more time.
Speaker 3:So I moved to Georgia at this point and I noticed that it was tough for me to keep my job. It was like I'm not giving anyone an opportunity to kind of push me out one way or another. So I said you know what, let me just skill up, go back to school, do what I actually really want to do, so I'll always have some sort of security, not only for me but for my family. So, with that being said, I'm going through the rigor right now, all day, every day. All I'm going through the rigor right now, all day, every day.
Speaker 3:All I'm doing is reading a book, figuring how to be one of the exemplary students in my class. Mind you, my entire class is predominantly less than 30. The funny thing is, I was having a joke between two students and a teacher and, as the student was actually leaving a female student, I said, hey, have a good weekend or whatever the case may be. And she said, okay, goodbye sir. And it just hit me. I'm like, wait, she's making it sound like I'm the teacher or something. I'm like, okay, but I get the dynamic and I don't care, like I've been through the fire and I'm not going back. So I'm making it work this time around.
Speaker 2:So proud of you bro. I'm trying, I'm trying 4.0 average and everything For now, man. Like don't jinx it. It's nothing that can be jinxed, man.
Speaker 4:I commend you for that, especially knowing the challenges you may face. Because you don't want to be a label, so you don't want to be a label, so you're, you don't want to walk in your. Your story, that's your story, so you don't want to always have people judging you based off of that and I can see from a management standpoint how people may do that because they're expecting you to be on and you're like that's not how I used to be that person I.
Speaker 3:I know I want to give you that it's different man, when you realize it doesn't hit the same. Right, right, right right.
Speaker 4:I think it would take somebody who truly cares to understand and listen and help you because it's Wait she didn't answer.
Speaker 3:Oh how she's different. Yeah, please.
Speaker 4:Oh, honestly, I didn't answer because I don't know. Oh, honestly, I didn't answer because I don't know. It didn't hit me two years later, probably about two or three years later, the true magnitude of what I went through.
Speaker 2:That this was a brush with death.
Speaker 4:Yeah, okay, what's next? Okay, my uncle has passed away. My dad is sad. Okay, now my husband is sick. Okay, let me get him over this hurdle. Okay, I lost a really close childhood friend. We lost his dad.
Speaker 4:Okay, we lost my dad, so I didn't have it's a lot time to process because it just wasn't given to me and I don't regret it or anything like that. But it didn't hit me until, I think we saw a picture come up on Facebook of me being rolled at the hospital and I was like, dang, I really was off bad. He was like, yeah, because I'm, you know, vain for a woman. I was like, dang, I really was off bad. He was like, yeah, because I'm vain for a woman. I'm like, well, shit, I ain't eight for 16 days, but, baby, I'm a snatch.
Speaker 1:Look at this one. She did talk about it.
Speaker 4:I was more worried about baby. I was sad Eight. Okay, let me get that up out. You Let me go shopping. So I was focused on the wrong elements of it. But now I would say it did help me value the closeness of my family, because really I tell you I'm not one of those people who show I was like my son. I don't show too many family emotions, like when you ask me something like all right, whatever. But to see my mom and dad coexist, for me, which they were had like at this point, um, they came together to rally around us, to see Willie's family support us, to see which is my family too but I have to just differentiate the names and just to see that love Made me answer my phone more Because I never knew if that was the last call. And that was a blessing for me Because I used to put my parents off. They'd call. I'm like I'll talk to them later.
Speaker 4:I'll call them tomorrow Because I didn't feel like I wanted to be bothered At that time.
Speaker 2:But that's a huge change.
Speaker 4:That would be the massive change, because I don't take that for granted anymore, which gave me a blessing, because when my dad did pass away, typically we wouldn't have talked as much leading up. But discernment gave me something to think about and say you know what, every time your dad called, take that call. I got some critical conversations, to the point where a lot of my siblings didn't even know some of the things that him and I were talking about. Like I knew his, what he expected for Christmas. I got us the gift that he wanted, just from him having conversations with me, I knew where his finances were, I knew how to access all his documents. Like it was boom boom, boom, boom, boom. We didn't miss a beat and everybody was like okay, why do you know this? And I'm like I got this. Don't y'all worry, I'm the baby, that's why they give it to us. But no, it was. That would probably be the one thing that I'll say I changed was I value my family, my immediate family, and those conversations with them a lot more.
Speaker 2:Willie, how did you cope with the fear of possibly losing her?
Speaker 1:To be honest with you, I didn't think that I was going to lose her. I didn't feel it. All I knew is that I had to be there for the children. I had to be there for her. I couldn't let her see me down with what was going on with her. So when I did leave the hospital, that's when I was able to kind of release and just like cry, you know, on the way to the kids. It was always hard for me to leave her there.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I would say a couple of months after she got better. Then I started kind of thinking about and it could be all the death that happened. You know I was like man me raising the kids by myself not being there, and even to this day I tell the kids listen, she got y'all back. She's the one that's going to make sure things are done. Y'all need to cherish your mother, so it made me put more into them about how to make sure she's taken care of yeah you know, making sure she doesn't want for anything, because I see she go hard for them kids.
Speaker 1:I mean she goes in anything for them and you need to appreciate her while she's here.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, when I lost my parents, it made me realize that people can really die. I know, I know People really dying, you know, although I'm in a death business and I see it all the time and hear it all the time. But it's just different when it's knocking at your door, yeah. So I never thought in my heart of hearts that I would lose her. I just knew she was going to come home.
Speaker 4:The way I coped with him.
Speaker 2:With a possibility.
Speaker 4:With a possibility was prayer, the power of prayer. It brought us closer. I just knew God had already delivered us. So you know it is what it is. But that first time, seeing him vulnerable, I was scared and I couldn't let him see it. So I would go in the hallway, cry, pray about it. But I was seriously and I couldn't let him see it. So I would go in the hallway, cry, pray about it. But I was seriously, seriously scared and didn't know what that would mean for us. But I couldn't, like he said, I couldn't let him see it. So you're fighting a battle of making sure your spirits are high. Because I saw the fear in his eyes, because he was like what am I supposed to do? He was like what do you think? And he looked. He was like what do you think? And he looked at me to make the decision and I'm like, if this is the wrong decision?
Speaker 3:That's so me.
Speaker 4:That's so me, because my husband truly is trusting me with his life and that spoke volumes to me too. Hearing his dad thank me for being there. Hearing his sister say he he lucky to have you, you know those things I valued at that time to realize I'm an important person in his life. I don't know I cope by crying in the car. I never show real emotions around him. Too often it has to be a breaking point Because if whatever emotion I show, oh, he go take it on 10 times. So if I'm crying or if I'm hurt, he's feeling like he got to fix it and I'm like it's nothing you can fix, I'm just going through it and I tried not to ever show him that, but it would be plenty of times.
Speaker 4:I would cry in the car and I'll have testimonies in the car and saying thank you, lord, you know, and I'll have testimonies in the car and saying thank you, lord, because we are blessed. Our story could have ended at 2017, 2018, but God didn't see that for us. So I don't take him for granted. I don't take our marriage for granted. I don't take our relationship with our kids. One thing he didn't say that changed in him.
Speaker 4:he got closer to our kids through One thing he didn't say, that changed in him he got closer to our kids through that, especially our son, because they didn't speak the same language, they didn't understand each other and again you know he's just seeing one parent almost pass away. And then he got his dad now, who also is battling and he don't understand. Kids at that age don't know the significance of what you go through. So it took him to start building that relationship, start being so tough and stop fighting for his point in the house and realize the kids are not nothing, anything like you. Just let them be who they are and raise them in the manner that needs to be.
Speaker 3:So yeah, it's tough because a lot of what you guys are saying kind of hits home, because in retrospect I feel like our children see us as superhuman You're not going to die until that time comes. And now their life is shattered and I remember my kids being upset at me for not telling them sooner, like I can't tell you I have a tumor with no plan that's not going to help you out. But they didn't care about that. They feel like you have to include me and you know they want to be included and as a parent it's hard.
Speaker 3:You gotta, I know shaking your head like no, there's no way there's no way I'm gonna tell you, but but that's exactly what it was, uh. And there's one more thing. So of course, with every tumor they have to, you know, take a biopsy. You know they came back that I had uh cancer wow but they retested and it was benign.
Speaker 2:I know I say that kind of quick because, yes, yeah, we have so much that you're carrying at that moment for the family to come back and like, yeah, this is yeah.
Speaker 3:It said yeah, there's a trace of glioma that's what they call it and it's like cancer of the brain and I just had a brother-in-law that just died from it. Like I mean fast, very unfortunate. And now I'm hearing I have it and the possibility of surviving it is less than 10. So I was just like, really, so I had to deal with that for a week that I didn't tell anyone because I know they're retesting, but I say that to say they don't see you dying they just don't see that.
Speaker 3:So until that time comes. So that was a week in hell and hell, bro, and I had to do it myself, especially my mom. There's no way I could tell, there's no way I could tell my mom I can't, I can't tell anyone, I just had to do it myself, especially my mom. There's no way I could tell, there's no way I could tell my mom I can't tell anyone. I just had to deal with it. Until she came back, she was like, yeah, we had a feeling that something was kind of off with the biopsy and I'm just like okay, great, I think that was God's joke. Ha, ha.
Speaker 3:It wasn't really funny but it was like yo, why would you do it? But I think a lot of that kind of revives. You Sometimes in church we have revivals where you've got to refocus, and my refocus right now is being intentional about a lot of the things that I do in life, a lot of the relationships you kind of strengthen your, your children, so on and so forth. So, um, I don't take anything for granted anymore great and she's not here, unfortunately, your wife.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you can answer this question. No, probably not. How has this experience brought you closer, if at all?
Speaker 3:you know what's crazy? Um, I think you get to a point in this society, this culture, where you think you have it all together. You think you're independent for real, for real. So far it's a lie, because when I couldn't speak, I was taking a lot of steroids which made me, I guess, according to them, a little more angrier than I normally am. Like, she literally took care of me, regardless of whatever that was going on, took care of me for days, months, even till now yeah I don't think it ever ends.
Speaker 3:It's just a level of care and concern that you normally think you only get from your mom, but it's actually coming from someone else that chooses to do that. Right, it's, I see you differently because I would do the same.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, lord you, just a key word right there. That's a choice that chooses to do this right Cause the mom's always going to be there and we'll do it to her last breath.
Speaker 1:But I couldn't even wipe my own ass.
Speaker 3:She wiped my ass, man, that's real.
Speaker 4:It's real.
Speaker 1:That's real. That's, that's real. That was an experience.
Speaker 4:The irony of it all we was having a conversation with my mom and I was like, if you get old and I have to wipe your ass, you just gotta go to the nursing home, mom. And she was like, um, nope, I'm not, I'm, you're gonna, you're gonna do it because you're some mother's love, you're gonna love me enough. So I was like no, mom, I'm just not gonna wipe anybody else. I'm like I'm not wiping willie's, I'm not watching you wiping yours and then turn around and have to wipe, then it's not a little ass I was like and it's got to be clean.
Speaker 4:I was like, no, and I didn't want anybody wiping him up, I didn't want anybody doing anything. I was like I got this.
Speaker 4:Like you know, you have nurses there that could be there, but I knew the dignity of my husband and what he would expect and I was like, oh, let me put this pride aside, but it was an experience you know, um, so you never say what you're not going to do because, like my mom said, unconditional love will teach you. Man, I was like Jesus, I said it, but I didn't really mean it you didn't have to prove me wrong. Like here we go it's real but no, it was.
Speaker 4:It's one of those things that you just go through it, you as a spouse, as having somebody there. There, you know, one thing you hit on. My husband used to always say is um, the only woman that ever loved me unconditionally was my mama. And I'm like damn, what about me? No, I get it. I had to prove my love to him, like, because, you know, moms, nobody can compare to a man and a mama Like. I raised a boy and I don't care what them little heifers think they do, I'm his mama. He might fuss at me, he might be like no, I ain't doing it, but at the end of the day, if I look and say, ok, well, fine, he come running and so with that, if you would have asked us what at the beginning of our marriage, baby, you better call your sister.
Speaker 1:But you know what's crazy. We grew into this. We grew, we grew into this love.
Speaker 2:That's exactly. That's a great point, because it actually gets stronger. Yes, and some people think that over time it dilutes, but I've seen the opposite.
Speaker 3:I've witnessed the opposite it gets real yeah, that's the word real, yeah it's not even that I don't consider that emotion. Love it's those moments where you you're doing things out of duty because it's the right thing to do. I love this person. I want to make, I love this person. I want to make sure that this person is okay. Like you said, he would have felt a certain way if someone else was cleaning him, but you know that about them. So to me that's the act of love that really matters.
Speaker 4:That's real, that's real. And just sleeping on that green couch, I mean that is love.
Speaker 2:Uncomfortable.
Speaker 4:If you have never experienced that green couch or that chair, that gray chair or that green couch, baby.
Speaker 2:I already know.
Speaker 4:That's love right there.
Speaker 2:I don't know who got that damn contract. But that is just shit.
Speaker 4:I know right, it's such an ass. That green shit out, because it doesn't matter where you are in this country.
Speaker 2:It's a stupid ass, green couch.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and they think, now that they can pull the cushion down, it's supposed to make it better. No it does not, but yeah, no.
Speaker 2:So last question, not to tug anymore at your heartstrings, but I have to ask all three of you If today was your last day, what is the one thing you want your spouse to know?
Speaker 4:without a doubt, I wouldn't have done this with anybody else. Oh man, it's beautiful.
Speaker 2:Leave it to her to just shut you all up. I think she's speaking for all three. No, she's not.
Speaker 4:What you got to say back, what you want me to know.
Speaker 1:That sums it up. I changed for you. It was all for you, wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, y'all for you. Wow, yeah, y'all are deep as hell. Man, there's no way, follow that brother. I can follow that, follow that.
Speaker 3:The message I would want her to know is that I want her to know not to worry. If she were in my shoes, see what I'm saying. Like I would do it for you a hundred times over, like I would pay that forward right back to you. You don't have to worry, and I've been through it, so I know, so I got you.
Speaker 2:Fantastic, are you asking me. Nobody asked me, so I'm just going to move on.
Speaker 4:What you, over there, telling us all Did you have surgery.
Speaker 2:You know, if today was my last day, I've always felt guilty in a sense that I didn't meet her sooner, that I wasn't there to protect her when she needed protecting. I wish I could change that. She needs to know that I'm always going to be there, no matter what happens, that she never has to question that I have an extreme devotion to commitment. So for me it's for real, it's for life.
Speaker 3:All right, all right, there you go this guy man, when I tell you I admire this guy, always have so I think, you got 10 years over me yeah when I tell you, I don't kill. He was like he doesn't know this, but there was a point in time in my life where, you know, he was my big brother right and there was this admiration, not about what he did or what he can do, it was just his presence, his love for love. He was always this poetic Shakespeare type of person.
Speaker 3:I'm like yo, bro, but I always admire you, and until today it just never stops.
Speaker 2:So I appreciate being here, bro, I appreciate you guys being here. I appreciate you, stan, love you guys man. So, yeah, you lost the bet earlier, you lost the coin toss. So I'm about to hand this over to you. I have a brain injury.
Speaker 3:It's hard for me to read.
Speaker 2:So you lost the coin toss. That means you have to read the outro, but in whoever's voice we, we decide. Yeah, I know that you could do a good haitian accent. Almost not haitian haitian I've ever met him.
Speaker 3:I think I can do haitian if you are not following the show. Um, that leaves us a glorious five-star sync review. Uh, it will really help us to grow. What is the difference uh, it does sound african between a 17-year marriage and a three-year marriage? Give up 14 years, 14, 14. Next week, we will have a real, grown, unfiltered conversation about those experiences and what can expect in most relationships, trust me.
Speaker 1:You do not want to miss this manhood matters, cause it never ended from our perspective or the truth, a podcast for all that I pointed to.
