Reinvention, Recalibration, & Facing Your Dreams

What if the fix isn’t reinvention at all—but a clean, honest renegotiation with yourself? We dig into the uneasy space so many people hit in their thirties, forties, and fifties, where old definitions of success stop fitting and the hustle starts to feel misaligned. Instead of blowing up your life, we map a practical, hopeful route: get crystal clear on the end you want, then choose smarter vehicles to reach it without torching your time, your health, or your relationships.

We unpack how desires evolve with age and responsibility, why an exit plan should be baked in from day one, and how to design goals that are specific, measurable, and actually doable. You’ll hear candid stories about late-stage failures, shifting identities, and the tension between city energy and country quiet—and how environment can fuel or drain your progress. We also carve out a playbook for those who feel stuck or under-skilled: form small idea groups, find mentors who are credible not famous, and stack complementary roles so you can buy back time and reduce risk. If a full career pivot calls your name, we talk about when retraining is worth it and how to commit for the right reasons.

AI is changing the next decade, fast, so double down on the human edges that compound: judgment, taste, storytelling, systems, and trust. The message is both blunt and energizing—there’s still time, but not to waste. Define “enough,” align with your partner, set a 90-day plan, and move. Subscribe, share this with someone renegotiating their path, and leave a review with the one goal you’ll tackle first.

Chapters

• 0:00 Why Midlife Feels Off
• 0:53 Dream Big Or Dream Smart
• 2:16 Desires Change With Age
• 7:14 Recalibration Beats Reinvention
• 12:36 Exit Plans And End Goals
• 18:05 City Lights Or Starry Skies
• 22:40 Career Pivots And Urgency
• 28:20 SMART Goals Without The Hype
• 34:20 Team Up To Buy Back Time
• 40:00 Stuck In Small Town Loops
• 45:30 Mentors Over Motivation

Transcript

SPEAKER_03: 0:00

So they don't know anything else. It's like, what do you say to those people that like they want to find something to make them happy because their whole existence right now is so unhappy and they're just stuck in that spiral of doing the same shit every single day?

SPEAKER_00: 0:11

I don't know. I wish I had the answer for you, but to me, I feel that if you are unhappy, maybe it's more of a spiritual thing, I think you are automatically going to tune in to that cosmic channel that leads you to where you're supposed to go. Because that's why people leave small towns. You know, you have people that stay there, they never leave. Are you in your 30s, 40s, or maybe even touching 50 and beyond, and you haven't yet hit that goal, that thing you've always wanted to do, that level of success you've always wanted to achieve, is just not here yet. I'm your host, Stefan, having a conversation with my boy Jabari Pride about that very subject. The conversation is about reinventing yourself and going to the next chapter. But is that the answer? See, I think personally that it's better to dream really big and miss and even fail, fall flat on your face, than to not dream big enough, or even worse, dream just right, something modest and conservative and hitting that target, and you end up being stuck there. But as Jabari puts it, it's not so much reinvention, but rather a recalibration of your desires and goals. This is a great conversation, guys. If you know anyone in this situation, and that's most of us really, someone who's 30 and feels like they're not the way they want to be, someone in their 40s who's struggling with this, send them this episode because sometimes all someone needs is to hear someone else having a conversation about these things to trigger the right response. Welcome to Manhood Matters. Let's get to it. So I've been thinking about this a lot, giving a lot of thought to reinventing myself. I turn 54 next week. No, it's crazy. I've had successes, but I've also had a lot of things not go my way. And um, you know, we do okay. No, okay. Yeah, right. So, what do you do now? To me, the next phase is the last phase. I have a business that I'm trying to build. We launched a podcast, we're doing all these different things, and I kind of feel like this needs to be it, and then I can go chill like Thanos and live on a little farm and watch the sunset.

SPEAKER_03: 2:57

Um I think as you get older, your goals change and you can start to look at life differently, right? Because when you're 18, you're like, Yeah, by the time I'm 40, I'm gonna be retired, a millionaire, yeah, and I'm gonna have all these businesses, and my supermodel wife is gonna be riding in on the yacht. Well, now, you know, that we're older, it's like, all right, like I don't need a yacht, like I don't need a Ferrari, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 3:20

Yeah, the things you want change. Correct. And the But is it because, in all fairness, if someone, I don't know, if we were sitting in the therapist chair, would it be a way for us to reconcile with the fact that we did not accomplish these things? Is that why we say we no longer need them? I honestly don't want that, you know? All the money in the world, if I want to make a million today, I'm not gonna go buy six exotic cars in the yacht.

SPEAKER_03: 3:42

I mean, I buy three.

SPEAKER_00: 3:46

My desires have changed.

SPEAKER_03: 3:47

Yeah. And that happens, and I'll admit to that because I remember when I was younger, I was like, oh, I want a 20,000 square foot mansion, and da-da-da. And I'm walking around this house and I'm like, I mean, I couldn't. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 3:58

This house is this house is massive.

SPEAKER_03: 4:00

It's not 20,000 square feet. Well, is this five? It's four, but I mean, I couldn't imagine having another 16,000 square feet. Right, exactly. Like, what am I gonna do? Like, you can only like we only we use like five rooms.

SPEAKER_04: 4:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 4:11

Like, what am I gonna do with the 20 rooms? Like, I'd have to have a party all the time to make sure you use it. Yeah, right. And so it's like I think when you're as you're getting older and you're thinking about like I need all this stuff, it changes. But then when you do get older and you're looking back, like, man, I thought I was gonna be at this point in my life by now. And then when you're not there, it's like, all right, what do I really need?

SPEAKER_00: 4:36

But the that's so that's the question, right? So is it that we're making some kind of concession? Are we renegotiating with ourselves by saying, uh, I don't really want that? You were in a race, you were trying to come first, and now you're in third place, you go, I didn't want to be first anyway.

SPEAKER_03: 4:50

I mean, it's still a medal.

SPEAKER_00: 4:52

Hell, you're in fourth place, you got no medal. It's a ribbon. You know, that's funny.

SPEAKER_03: 4:56

You know, I'm so is it is that what we're doing? I would say yes and no. I would say yes, we are renegotiating our goals, but I think I think when you're younger, it's easier to have extravagant goals. And then as you get older, like you realize, like, once again, like you don't need all that stuff. It's like you're renegotiating it, but like you, like you have property, like you have land, like you can do whatever you want. You have a whole farm out there, you could have horses and whatever elephants out there. Your goals change because I'm sure like because you're an athlete when you're younger, you're probably like, Yeah, you know, I want to live in Miami on South Beach and the bachelor thing, condo, whatever, overlooking, and then you start to get older, you're like, Man, no, I want one person. Yeah, like I want a family, like I need a house. And now you're like, I need land. Yeah, right? Like your goals more land. You want more landscape.

SPEAKER_00: 5:41

It's funny because I was talking to my wife about it, and she's like, Well, what do you need with 200 acres? Like, we don't even know where our land ends. I'm like, I I want that.

SPEAKER_03: 5:48

Perfect.

SPEAKER_00: 5:49

Yeah, I want to get lost on my property. Yeah, yeah. You kind of feel like there is some truth to it. You are renegotiating with yourself, but it's not because you're accepting defeat and you're saying, Well, shit, I couldn't get there. You might as well.

SPEAKER_03: 6:04

I mean, like, how many people I hate that word, you know. But how many people do you know that have a 20,000 square foot mansion and they pull up in their yacht and when they're tired of their Lamborghini, they jump in their Ferrari. We all may know like a person that's like that, maybe.

SPEAKER_00: 6:18

They're not close to us, like we know of people. Correct. Right. So we've we've crossed paths with them.

SPEAKER_03: 6:22

But it's not normal. Like, I mean, yeah, it's you could have a very good life living in a good-sized house, money in the bank, great family, and be perfectly happy.

SPEAKER_00: 6:32

And I'm not even talking about those extravagant goals, even with the goals that we set for ourselves, because of the way we defined success even 10 years ago. You're you just turned what 46? Right. So even the way you define success at 36 or 35, you're thinking, all right, by the time I hit 50, this is where I'm gonna be. Do you find that you are renegotiating those goals? I know at 35 you're gonna think and I'm gonna have my private.

SPEAKER_03: 6:59

Oh, yeah, because I mean I'm still not where I want to be, right? I'm never gonna be where I want to be. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 7:04

I know where that is. Ah man, you're gonna want more though. No, I I really I know that's a whole other discussion, but as far as wanting more, I know what that is. I know I feel super awesome about it too, because I got to a point to where I know exactly what that is, as opposed to always chasing something else. Even down to the business. I'm designing a business with an exit plan in mind. Like in my head, I know once I get to this number, it's time to sell. Yes, it's my baby, yes, it's gonna mean the world to me. Yes, I'm gonna work on it super duper hard. I'll do everything I have to do for this business, but I'm already thinking of the exit so I can focus on what I really want to focus on, which is mentorship, which is speaking engagements, which is just being at home a lot more, being more present with my family, and my kids are getting older. So, you know, we have two younger ones, but for the most part, it's just me and my wife, and I want to be able to enjoy that time, travel, and really spend time on our land. Like I find peace there so much. I find that if I have a place that I can just be like, hey, we got the farm, but I don't want to be enslaved to the goddamn farm either. Where you know you're waking up with four hours of farm work at 6 a.m. That's not fun. So I want to have it to where there's sustainability as far as being self-sufficient, and yes, a couple slaves. God damn, bro. Couple homeless people. I'm like, hey, look, I'll let you live here. Yeah, you want to make a dollar? Um, but yeah, I know what that is. Yeah, it's crazy and it's weird because I always go back to Thanos and Avengers when he goes, and then someone says, When you accomplish everything, and then what? You do all this, and then what? He goes, Then I can rest. I can watch the sunrise or sunset on a grateful universe. And he did exactly that. Because don't forget, he succeeded. He did, right? And he was a beast. I want to be that. I want to walk out of my little cabin on my 300 acres.

unknown: 9:03

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 9:03

Jeez. And not a small cabin either, but a decent sized cabin. You know, out of my study. Uh-huh. You know, through the back door, and I want to walk over to pick out some veggies so I can go back inside, go over to chicken coop, so I can make me an omelet in the morning. Well, so your chef can. Huh? So your chef can make you the No, I don't need that. I really just want it to be just my wife and myself.

SPEAKER_03: 9:27

Yeah. I think you know the amount of work it's gonna take to get your business to where it needs to be in order for that to happen, which is why I think you have the exit plan already set. Because you're probably a lot like me, where you're like, all right, if I can hit this number, then I know I can hit this number.

SPEAKER_00: 9:42

And then it's just a never-ending I think with you though, it's like, wait, I got the business to where my valuation is 10 million. I know exactly what I did. Therefore, using those exact metrics, I can do X, Y, and Z and I can make the valuation 20 million. With me, I have a number in mind. I won't say it right now, but I know what the number is. I'm for sale. That's it. Like I got to this number, and anybody who's with me and they have equity in the company, they're gonna be happy. That's kind of what I'm focused on. I want to get to that point because that's more than enough for the rest of my life for something to leave for my kids and my grandkids.

SPEAKER_03: 10:18

That's the way you see it now. But I mean, income creep, man, you never know.

SPEAKER_00: 10:23

Well, that's why part of my plan is that's sustainability.

SPEAKER_03: 10:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 10:26

Because I don't give a shit what happens in the rest of the world. That's why I want to go off in a little land somewhere. Unless you bomb my farm, I'm good. Yeah. Because that could happen. But missile could drop out of the sky and just wipe us out.

SPEAKER_03: 10:38

Well, I mean, if you have 200 acres, you're gonna be in the middle of nowhere anyway. So I mean, you should middle of nowhere.

SPEAKER_00: 10:43

Literally. And at that point, listen, you can take care of yourself. Isn't you have everything that you need there, yeah, down to solar, down to everything where you don't really need society. I couldn't do that. I can.

unknown: 10:54

I couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_03: 10:55

Yeah? I mean, you how many acres do you have right now? Twenty-something. Dude, I could not imagine living on 20 acres. I need to I need to like see city lights, cars, hear an ambulance go by right now.

SPEAKER_00: 11:08

So I can see the stars, and I want to see the edge of the Milky Way. That's my dream. I want to look up and I have my telescope set and I'm taking pictures of the night sky. See, that makes me super happy. So, reinventing yourself at 45, what does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_03: 11:24

I think it means looking at where I currently am and then once again figuring out okay, this is not where I want the end to be. So do I keep doing what I'm doing or do I change what I'm doing? I think right now it's funny because I just accepted a new position.

SPEAKER_00: 11:41

Right.

SPEAKER_03: 11:42

Same company new position, so it's like the path has slightly deviated, but that's to take me to where the ultimate end goal, which is like I need X amount of dollars. Right. I don't want to be one of these guys that's like 65 standing in front of Walmart. That's like, hey.

SPEAKER_00: 11:54

Well, even if it's not Walmart, right? Like, I don't want to be 65 working, but no, right? I don't hell, I don't want to be 60 working. No. So you see the urgency for me. Yeah. Because it's like, um, I'm six years away. And I said I'd be retired by 60 for sure. I'd said 40 at one time. But we all did. Here we are. Right? We all did. But for sure I know I want to be officially retired, except for what I want to do. I don't even call it giving back because like the mentorship and the speaking engagements, to me, those things that I I thoroughly enjoy.

SPEAKER_03: 12:24

Yeah, it doesn't feel like work. Yeah. No, I can I can definitely agree with that. Um, yeah, no, like reinventing myself. It's I wouldn't call it reinventing myself because I'm still I'm still taking everything that I've learned, everything that I've been able to acquire as far as skill sets and just move it towards something else. So it's not like I'm gonna wake up and go, I'm gonna be a doctor now. Right, right. Like that would be reinventing myself. True. That's a good point. It's just the next stage.

SPEAKER_00: 12:50

So it's Jabari 4.0.

SPEAKER_03: 12:52

Well shooting out four years is gonna be 5.0.

SPEAKER_00: 12:55

Yeah, but yeah, it's 4.0, right? It's it's it's the childhood, it's the college, it's the athletic um career that you had, it's work, it's marriage. And I I don't mean to sound morbid and dark about it, but for me in my case, I really honestly think, well, I don't think. I mean, I'm more than likely right based on stats that there's more years behind me than there are in front of me.

SPEAKER_03: 13:17

Yeah, unless we can get to 112.

SPEAKER_00: 13:19

Exactly. Your math is off, buddy. But yeah, thanks for the blessings because I might get there. I think about that and I go, yeah, I don't have the desire, like you said, to go and reinvent myself. What I am doing, I think we're looking at it the same way, where I'm using all the skills that I've amassed through the years to say, how is this serving me? And how do I put it to use for myself rather than putting it to use for other companies? Because all I've done is lead teams. Make other people money. Yeah, lead teams, you know, take their bottom line and just take them out of the red into the black, and then I go do do it for someone else, and but I'm not doing it for myself.

SPEAKER_02: 14:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 14:01

You know, when I went to do it for myself, I failed miserably because I got into business with the wrong partners and lost a lot, so it cost me. But with that being said, you're right, it's not necessarily reinventing yourself, but I guess how do you use what you already have to turn it into something that's super positive for you.

SPEAKER_03: 14:19

For people that have our entrepreneurial mindset, it's difficult because when you've been doing it for other people, then you're like, all right, I know how to make other people money. So I want to do it for myself. But at this age, you've got to be careful because if you fail, it's not you're not just failing yourself, like you're failing your partner, you're failing your kids. Yeah, there's there's a lot more risk involved. So the the idea would be okay, if I want to do this for myself, I can't just that can't be the only thing that I do. Like I've got to juggle now. So now it's like I've got to juggle my business and juggle his job, yeah. Right? And then try to there's only so many hours in the day. And if you're taking away from one to get to the business, well then that takes away from the partner or that child or the job that you need to pay your bills, it's gonna suffer. So you gotta try to figure out okay.

SPEAKER_00: 15:09

That shit is crazy hard, bro. Yeah, because you don't want to be the neglectful husband, yeah, neglectful dad.

SPEAKER_02: 15:14

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00: 15:15

You know that's priority number one. We all have 24 hours, eight of them is already gone, whether you sleep or not, like I'm a horrible sleeper, but yeah, there's eight hours where you can't do shit. You're not doing anything, right? Yeah. So now you've got these 16 hours, and there's commute, there's eating, there's the time that you have to give to this you know corporation that you're working for, and you're supposed to be building something. Where do you have time for the family? And uh, we were talking to our boy, Willie, and he actually said, like, for him, there was no negotiating this. He was willing to sacrifice everything to make his business take off. Yeah. And he was okay with that. Yeah, you're with me or you're not, but either way, this is what the fuck I'm doing. It's kind of intense to say that, and some people will be on board with you, but not every partner will.

SPEAKER_03: 16:00

Yeah, but I think if they can see the the light at the end of the tunnel, like, look, these next five years are gonna be atrocious, but the 45 after that are gonna be amazing. Yeah. Right? Versus, you know, some guy just like, hey, you know, I got all the time in the world. Let me just clock out of my shift. We can go do whatever you want. Then your partner's just like, I see no future with this person. Like, yeah, it's gonna give me all the time in the world, but I mean if you're 30, you can say that.

SPEAKER_00: 16:25

I know dudes who are doing it the right way who started very early and with their partners, and they're still in their late 20s, and they're like, look, the next five years, hell, they can say 10 years. We're gonna struggle in this way. This is how hard it's gonna be. You're gonna have to hold down the fort. If we do have kids, it's really gonna you're gonna mend the ship. All that is on you. I gotta go build this thing. But if you give me these five to ten years at 35, we live a life-you never have to work another day in your life, and our kids can do whatever they want. Exactly. And we can give them the best life. And that's the thing. But when you're 40, you're 45, 50, and you have some grown kids, and maybe you have some younger children, you know, you're having the same conversation. How long do you ask? Like when you go talk to your wife, you're just like, hey, um, give me five years, give me 10 years. Like, nigga, you're you're about to be 60. What are you talking about? It'll be 90 days. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. It needs to be 90 days, bro, because it doesn't work out. And that's one of the things that plagued me is that my biggest failure came very late.

SPEAKER_03: 17:26

You're willing to take on risk when you were later.

SPEAKER_00: 17:28

Yeah, but it's strange because I've always wanted to take on risk, but as much as I am that way, I did not take the big risks early on. And I took them much later on. Got it. And when I had a lot more to lose.

SPEAKER_03: 17:41

But you probably had a greater skill set to the point where you're like, Oh, yeah, I was sure. I was sure.

SPEAKER_00: 17:46

Like, look at look how amazing I am. Exactly. I've I've forgotten the number one rule in business, which is well, I don't know what number rule it is, but shit happens. Yeah, bad things can happen. There's some things you did not, you know, you grossly underestimated the all the logistical side because I'm the creative. I'm like, I see this, I see the dream, let's go. And um, did not factor anything at making it actually happen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 18:11

I think when you're in your 40s, it's less reinventing and more renegotiating. Being realistic, right? It's like you know, I hate that fucking.

SPEAKER_00: 18:20

I know, but it's realistic. Whenever you say it, it sounds like, all right, except failure. You can't do this. This is not you, you're not that guy.

SPEAKER_03: 18:28

It depends on where you were trying to go. If you were trying to just be like comfortable, you're not trying to be realistic. That's that's not what I'm talking about. Okay. If your goal was, all right, I guess I'm not gonna get that 8.2 million dollar house that I really wanted. I guess I gotta settle for the million dollar house. Like being realistic in that sense, it's like, okay, so you're not gonna live in a mega mansion, so you're not gonna have 15,000 luxury automobiles and five yachts, right? Let's be realistic. Maybe you can have a really nice single house, right? Maybe you can have two nice vehicles for you and your spouse. You know what I mean? Maybe you take two trips a year out of the country, right? Maybe that's quote unquote being realistic for that person. Gotcha. Right? It's just renegotiation.

SPEAKER_00: 19:09

So renegotiation.

SPEAKER_03: 19:10

Yeah. Got it. Because what you don't want to do is break the bank trying to live up to the stuff that you saw on social media that you thought would be really cool to live your life like that.

SPEAKER_00: 19:19

I would like to think that at a certain age you've passed that bullshit.

SPEAKER_03: 19:22

Man, you think so, but there's still a lot of people on Instagram, you know, buying into the the life. I mean, we we live in Atlanta. Go to downtown Atlanta right now and tell me now Mercedes and how many Mercedes-Benzes and BMWs and Jaguars you see, and then follow them home. That's funny. Follow them home. Follow them home from Lennox Mall. Yeah. See where that see what the apartment looks like, what they pull up to.

SPEAKER_00: 19:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 19:45

Yeah, there's still a lot of people that you know aren't being realistic with their with their goals or themselves. But I think, you know, at our age, like it's okay to not dream as big. Still dream, but you don't need to go crazy. Like when you're 20, go crazy. Do whatever you want. Go fail. Go fail. Fail fast. Fail fast, fail hard. All right. Because when you have a lot of stuff on the line like us now, like you can't do that.

SPEAKER_00: 20:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 20:09

You can fail, but just you can't fail hard.

SPEAKER_00: 20:12

I don't know if I agree with uh don't dream as big. Again, I'm back to that. Okay. I understand be realistic. I understand where you're coming from when you say that. But I guess just apply some SMART goals. The acronym SMART. Hit me with it. Right? SMART goals, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time sensitive to where you're like, hey, this is when this is going to happen. But now specific, like what exactly is it? Because you could be like, I want to be rich. Well, fine. Rich is defined in a lot of different ways. How much is that? Right? So, what exactly is that number measurable in the way you can measure it? Right, attainable, because to your point, attainable and realistic. Well, how are you gonna get there? And is it something you can do? As much as I've been a really good athlete, I can't say I'm gonna make the US soccer team right now. We know that's not realistic simply because uh Mother Nature's kicked up, just it's just what it is. With all that being said, having a goal that you know you can attain, you can still dream big, but you have to be smart in how you are putting that plan together. Like, what goes into that? What do you have to sacrifice? Is it realistic to say that you can put in 18-hour days when you have wife and kids and people who are needing you? Some people have a situation where they have a special needs child, right? I do. She lives with a mother, but if she was with me, I could not just be like, well, I'm always gone. Yeah, I'd need to be around a lot more. So there's different situations for every single person. So in that sense, I agree with being realistic, but adjust that dream to something that you know you can do. And I need to carve out anywhere between one to three hours every single day to work on my business, even though I'm not the programmer, I'm not the web developer. It doesn't matter, but I need to be sitting down thinking strategies. That's an everyday task.

SPEAKER_03: 22:00

Yeah, because then you'll get there faster. Because I mean, at the pace that you're currently moving at, it's like you could get there. You might be 75 when you get there, but you could get there.

SPEAKER_00: 22:07

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03: 22:08

Versus doing exactly what you just said, and which then gets you to your Thanos situation.

SPEAKER_00: 22:12

Exactly. So you were saying not dream smaller, but dream more realistically.

SPEAKER_03: 22:18

Yeah. Renegotiate your goals. I don't want to say dream smaller. Because I mean, look at what Jeff Bezos. If you had told him to dream smaller, none of us would be getting our toothpaste the next day without leaving our couch.

SPEAKER_00: 22:31

That's right. Right? I'm still blown away by the fact that we're getting toothpaste and toilet paper. Like we can't just run to the store. But yes, you're right.

SPEAKER_03: 22:40

Yeah, but I mean, why leave why leave the couch? It's free delivery. It's crazy. And I just saw a little blur where uh Conyers is gonna start getting drone deliveries now. Yeah. That's crazy. Everyone knows what their dream is, right? And everyone knows whether or not it's something that can be realistically attainable. So if it's something that can be attainable but you don't want to put the work in, then I wouldn't say dream smaller. I'd just say you know, pull your head out. Or you need to do some renegotiating with yourself as far as what you really want to do in this life. But I mean, if if I woke up tomorrow and I was like, you know what, I never got that Olympic medal, I'm gonna start training for that Olympic medal. Is it possible? Not in track and field. Maybe I can do bobsledding or something or or a shooting, right? Something that's not age specific, right? Right. Um, heavy skill and and and no uh physical talent, but at the end of the day, it's still not realistic. Is it attainable? Not there's a 0.1% chance that I could find a sport that I could potentially maybe it's a winter sport.

SPEAKER_00: 23:41

Um what's his name? Um, School of Greatness, Lewis House. Yeah, I think he's 42. And one of his dreams, he's he's got a podcast. Okay, it's one of the most popular podcasts in the world. And he's his dream is to be in the next Olympics. He's in his 40s. Handball. There you go. Right. See? Oh man, I can crush some handball. No, not the one you're thinking about, not handball to the wall like LA and New York.

SPEAKER_03: 24:03

Oh, it's the yeah, like soccer, which yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where does he live? I hope he lives in like California. Yeah, of course we'd have handball out there.

SPEAKER_00: 24:12

Yeah, he's in LA. We've got all the special sports, but that's what he wants to do. Yeah, and he's he's training. Like, I think he's made the team and everything. Are you serious? Yeah. How old is he? 42. But he's he's always been an athlete, played profession for a little while. Football.

SPEAKER_03: 24:26

Man, I gotta find out the sport. I'll find a sport. You gotta find something to go be in a line. If he can do it, I can do it. Yeah, exactly. Gotta renegotiate my goals. There you go.

SPEAKER_00: 24:33

Exactly. Just not track Bobsled.

SPEAKER_03: 24:36

He said all the other Jamaicans did it. Yeah, he's right. Yeah, I guess you can't dream too big. You just proved me wrong. Gonna go get that medal. So it's it's never too late. Could be.

SPEAKER_00: 24:46

Sometimes it is. Again, I'm not saying, I'm not saying go crazy and just think of some wild shit. I'm just simply saying that you can still dream big, but maybe pick a different vehicle or maybe renegotiate the path. Because my wanting to get to a certain point financially to where I'm like, I just want my financial freedom, if that makes sense. So I'm free financially from any obligation. I can do whatever what I want, whenever I want, with whomever I want. Once I get there, I don't care how I get there. So for me, it's not so much, well, I have this dream of being this plumber. I have 15 trucks, and I don't give a shit whether it's that or I sell satellite dishes. I don't, I don't care what it is. As long as you get there. As long as I get there. Now obviously I don't want to be, yeah. I don't want to be totally miserable doing that job, which is why I'm so glad that I'm creative enough to come up with these different concepts. So it's not my first invention, it won't be my last, but I keep coming up with them.

SPEAKER_03: 25:47

I mean, that's the important. But who was the uh who was the inventor? Was it Thomas Edison? He had like a thousand inventions before he hit the light bulb.

SPEAKER_00: 25:55

Something like that. So yeah, it's him, but not a thousand inventions. He had a thousand patents failures, okay, to get to the to the light bulb. So we have someone who maybe is not a creative, who's not thinking about a plan in terms of I'm not inventing anything, I'm not an entrepreneur. I just know as a 45, as a 50-year-old, I'm not exactly happy. Um, maybe my dream is somewhere in the back of my mind and my subconscious, I'm not acting on it. But I also know that I don't have an additional eight hours a day to go pursue that thing, not without sacrificing what I have at home. What's the advice with that person?

SPEAKER_03: 26:33

I would say find like-minded people, right? Because let's say it takes five hours a day to get the project off the ground, whatever that project may be. If you can find four or five friends or people that are just like you that have the same mindset toward that same goal, well then if each of you put in an hour, that's four to five collective hours still per day, right? And if you're not that creative person, but one person's creative and the other person's uh an operator, the other person's uh the labor guy or gal. If you can't come up with that idea, find someone who can, but just doesn't have the time or just doesn't have the other skill sets that are needed to take it off the ground. Because I mean it's very rarely that you can start a company and build it by yourself. That's true, right?

SPEAKER_00: 27:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 27:14

So just get out there, network, network, network, build up your network, and then just start finding people that may share the same dream, and then you guys might just stumble upon something.

SPEAKER_00: 27:23

Yeah, it wouldn't be a bad idea to create some kind of a text group with three or four friends, like you said, that you absolutely trust, who just once in a while just discuss ideas. Do nothing but discuss ideas, just send a text. Hey, I was thinking about doing this. What do you guys think of that?

SPEAKER_03: 27:40

Why don't you build an app for that?

SPEAKER_00: 27:41

Because I I don't care about that at all. But I'd I I'll give the idea out for free because I really think it's something you could do. We all bullshit with each other, we get together and talk about the game and everything else. So why not take your three or four best friends, people you can trust, and say, hey, once a week, let's get on a quick 10-minute call, or anytime throughout the week, let's send out a text. If any one of us thinks of something, brainstorm it. Let's brainstorm it and just put it out there in the group text so that the rest of us can poke holes through it, see if this would work, question it, and we stumble on something that might work. Now we are like you said, to your point, we can really just kind of dive into it.

SPEAKER_03: 28:20

Create something.

SPEAKER_00: 28:21

Yeah, because there's a there's an African proverb, it goes like this it says, if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together. I think our biggest issue too is trust. I mean, why not use our network in the way that a network is designed to work? It's supposed to work that way. Yeah, we could get together and talk about anything. Have this business thing open for your best friends to say, here's what I'm thinking about doing. You might mention something and someone goes, Well, hell, I actually have a connection for that. You know, someone I work with happens to be really well connected, and this is right up their alley. Now, this never would have come up in casual conversation, but mean that you have a dedicated place for that to happen, you've created the space for it, and that's one way to go about it.

SPEAKER_03: 29:05

And I'm sure we all have that one friend where it's like if you say that you needed something, like, oh, I know someone for that. Yeah. Like if it's not one friend between two or three people that you know, like someone's gonna know someone that can help you with that.

SPEAKER_00: 29:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 29:17

Um what happens if you don't don't what? Hit your goals, or if you've just given up. Like, what do you do if you've given up? Like, what do you say to the people that have just been like, you know what? I just gave up, giving in. I wanted to be this person up here, and but it's just not gonna happen. I'm not happy. I hate my job, hate my life, hate my wife, hate my kids.

SPEAKER_00: 29:37

So so to me, it's like it's like this figure out who you really are and what actually makes you happy. Some people will say, hey, success is that you know,$10 million mention. To me, that's not it at all. Three bed, two and a half bath in the middle of nowhere, little ranch style house, as long as I can have I could have my study because I do need a space that's just for my books and my office. You can look out into Oh yeah, no, it's gonna be set up on kind of dope, you know, like you know, up perched up somewhere looking at the rolling hills. You know, I'm with all that. It's taken me a long time to figure out who I am and what makes me truly happy. I didn't know that a long time ago. I didn't know it three years ago, to be honest with you. So sometimes it takes people a long time. There are people who know this by 15. There are people who know exactly where they're who they are, who they're gonna be, and everything else. But maybe if you're there and you're unhappy and you feel that you're a failure, I think that the first thing you need to figure out is who you are in that sense. What makes you happy, what success means to you, what greatness means to you specifically, and then figure out a plan to get there. Because again, we are corrupted, our minds are corrupted by social media and comparison, which is a thief of joy. So we look at all of that and we say, Well, this person has this, this person has that, but what do you actually want? Because there are a lot of people who are super happy. I gave the example a long time ago with this kid who was making$37,000 a year, and he was just like, That's great money for me. Yeah, I'm totally happy with that. I have a little house that's paid for. My girlfriend works part-time, and I make$37,000, but I don't need anything. You know, I don't shop in expensive stores, I don't care about any kind of name brand, anything. This is me. I live out in the country somewhere and everything's cheap.

SPEAKER_03: 31:24

But what about the people that like what makes them happy is not going to make them money, which is why they're miserable, right? It's like they they have to do something that they don't enjoy because they have to pay their bills.

SPEAKER_00: 31:35

I can't even think of an example for that, bro, because I think you can monetize anything. If you're if it makes you happy, then by default, he should be freaking good at it, I would think. Like he can't be like, I'm happy to do whatever, right? Marketing, but you you suck at it.

SPEAKER_03: 31:50

But you're but you're thinking of people that have acquired skills or education to that level. There's a lot of people that don't even have a high school education, sure. That they don't feel like they have a lot of skills. They probably still live in a little small town. So let's use that example, right?

SPEAKER_00: 32:05

So someone like that, that person has to decide what makes them happy. And maybe that thing doesn't make them a lot of money, and that's because of skills. Then the first step is you need to acquire those skills. It's not necessarily a ton of education and$200,000 in student loans. I think for the most part, college is not not the answer for everybody. Not the answer, right? Exactly. So to acquire education is though.

SPEAKER_03: 32:27

True. I mean, there's been a lot of there's a lot of people, I'm sure there's a lot of stories about people that are 50, 60. I remember when I was in college, there are people that in my classes that were like grandparents.

SPEAKER_00: 32:35

Yeah, and they're back trying to figure out something.

SPEAKER_03: 32:38

And we looked at them like, good for you. Like no one judged them at all. Yeah, getting your shit together. Congratulations. Like that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00: 32:45

And I still say kudos to this person because maybe they already figured it out, then they're there to get that one specific thing that they needed, right?

SPEAKER_03: 32:52

Or they're trying to reinvent themselves. Correct. Like they had a full long life doing whatever it was, and they're like, you know what? I want to do XYZ now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 33:02

So I need the education in order to do that. You need to acquire the skills. For me, I think it still goes back to figure out what that is that you want to do, what makes you happy, or forget what you want to do. I should say, what do you want in life? What makes you happy? Where do you want to end up and kind of work backwards from there? And you could have several vehicles, and one of those vehicles could be, Well, I enjoy making tapestry. Well, is that gonna make you any money? Maybe not, but if you're hell of a salesperson and you know how to market, so now this is the kind of thing where I don't know if I care about your little rugs, but if you start marketing the hell out of yourself and a couple of things go viral, then it changes everything. So you have to think about what that is to use a horrible example, but you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03: 33:44

Yeah. But what do you say to those people that they don't know what makes them happy because they've they've had such a limited life experience? Their experience has been grow up, go to high school, drop out, kick a with their friends, get drunk, go work at the factory, got a girl pregnant, get drunk, go work at the factory. They don't have enough life experiences to know, oh, I'm really good at this thing over here because they've just been stuck in a rut. 50% of the people in their town are doing the same shit. Because it's the factory is the job producer of that that region, right? So they don't know anything else. It's like, what do you say to those people that like they want to find something to make them happy because their whole existence right now is so unhappy and they're just stuck in that spiral of doing the same shit every single day.

SPEAKER_00: 34:29

I don't know. I wish I had the answer for you, but to me, I feel that if you are unhappy, maybe it's more of a spiritual thing, I think you are automatically going to tune in to that cosmic channel that leads you to where you're supposed to go. So you can't, because that's why people leave small towns. You know, you have people that stay there, they never leave. I'm driving through them sometimes, or sometimes I've had to work and I've had to head in that direction and work with some of those people who live there. And I make the same comment. I know my wife's tired of hearing me say that. Because I'll drive through a little small town. I go, why do people live here?

SPEAKER_02: 35:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 35:05

Hell, we were going to Tennessee and we were driving through some parts of Mississippi and Alabama. We were like, Why are there people here? Do you not know that there's a big city 200 miles that way? Go there, like start your life, go do something. But we had to reconcile with the fact that no, people actually are happy in that situation. But if you are unhappy, why wouldn't you get up and go and go do something else? Because they probably feel like they're trapped and they can't get out. Trapped? How? What's the worst? Family, friends, like because that part I don't I really don't understand it. I don't understand what you're trapped by. What are you losing?

SPEAKER_03: 35:43

They probably just can't imagine leaving, like they're just too scared to leave.

SPEAKER_00: 35:47

Bro, I'm gonna cycle this, but I think you that's where you that's what you deserve, then that's where you need to be. Because someone's got to stay there.

SPEAKER_03: 35:55

Town's already built. We all can't live in LA and LA, Chicago, New York, Miami.

SPEAKER_00: 35:59

It's you, I don't have the answer because I asked the same thing and I try not to judge, and it comes across as super judgy, of course. But at the end, by the end of the day, I can't, it's no different than in sales when we talk to people and we're trying to interview and recruit people, and they're they want this a I want to be guaranteed that I go make at least it's just$400 a week for the next five years, but at least I'm guaranteed this$400 a week. And I'm trying to explain to you that, bro, you could make that in a day or two days or whatever it may be, but there could be a day where you make no money, but you have to take this chance on yourself. And if I have to convince you of that, you deserve to go make$400 a week. You know, that's where I think you should go. I'm done with convincing people. I'm done with trying to convince chickens that they are eagles. And not everybody can be an eagle. Yeah, you can't soar, you know, that's it. Just there's a reason eagle flies alone. So I can't worry about that anymore.

SPEAKER_03: 36:51

I would say if you're if you feel like you're stuck in a rut and you can't get out of your situation, whatever it may be, our world is so interconnected. You could easily go online, find someone, a lot of people that you would like to be in their type of position that you know are legit, not like Instagram famous, right? Like actually have real careers that maybe you you aspire to be, and just reach out. Just start randomly reaching out to a bunch of people where you'd love to be in their position. And eventually someone's gonna reach back out.

SPEAKER_00: 37:19

Yeah, the the the ones that are not famous will more than likely want to reach back out to you. Right. And then you can kind of study them.

SPEAKER_02: 37:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 37:26

And then you just spark up conversations and maybe you get a mentor and they give you what you need to reinvent yourself.

SPEAKER_00: 37:32

And you could do this much later. You could be 50 and you go find a mentor who's 35.

SPEAKER_02: 37:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 37:36

And don't let your ego get in the way. This person has just done a lot more than you have. So it's perfectly okay to go and follow this person and learn from them. My point is that if you are stuck in this, I don't want to jump, I don't want to jump, I don't want to jump, I'm not gonna spend hours, days, and weeks behind your back trying to push you off the cliff. You know what I'm saying? I'm just gonna go around you.

SPEAKER_03: 37:57

I can't sit there. With the other people that are jumping.

SPEAKER_00: 37:59

Yeah, I can't sit there and do that because I know that it's a waste of time. I've done it countless times. I've invested a lot of time in people. It's worked out once or twice. To this day, I know there are a couple people who are like, man, I'm glad you pushed me. I'm so glad you were there for me. And I appreciate it. Look what I'm doing now. But for the most part, they've gone back to doing what they were doing before. The whole point of this conversation is you corrected it. It's not reinventing yourself, it's renegotiating and readjusting. So, my biggest advice to anyone would be go ahead and start this renegotiation and start the that adjusting period or that adjustment, whatever adjustment you need to make. But a decision has to be made. If you hit 40 and you're not where you want to be, you won't be where you want to be at 50 simply by continuing to hustle and go into work every day. There has to be a plan. It has to be a plan. And now it has to be, it's even harder again. I mean, I don't think I've had a single podcast episode without bringing up AI. But you it's it's gonna be a little harder in the next 10 years because the competition will be like, hey, half the shit you want to do can be eliminated and done by AI.

SPEAKER_03: 39:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 39:04

You need to decide what that is and go after it, man.

SPEAKER_03: 39:07

Yep. If you're gonna renegotiate your goals, I would say heavily lean into the skills that you feel really good about that you currently have, and then use that to do something to push you towards the direction that you've been trying to go this whole time. Now, if you're trying to reinvent yourself, that's a whole new career. You need education.

SPEAKER_00: 39:26

I got a buddy of mine, that's exactly what he's doing right now. He was in tech and now he's in school in his 40s, doing really well. Right? It's one of those things, right? Because even if you were a bad student and you're now 19, 20, probably didn't care. You didn't give a shit. It was not your money, your parents' money. But now when you're like 43, 44, you're going back to school, you're just like you're dead serious about what you're doing. Top student in the class, all A's and whatnot. And it's exciting, right? Because he's back in school to go towards the medical field. It's pretty exciting to watch his journey. So uh that's a full reinvention. 100%. Yeah, and that's that's amazing.

SPEAKER_03: 40:02

And hopefully the reason why he's doing that is because he's trying to get to a goal that he couldn't see himself getting to if he hadn't done that.

SPEAKER_00: 40:10

That's a good point. For me, it's the goal, it's the end goal. Everything else is nothing but it's a vehicle that I care about, but I care less about. So there are people, for example, they're like, well, if I won the lottery, I'll go to work every day still because I couldn't see myself just sitting around. And I'm like, nah, not me. I don't know about you, bro, but if I won the lottery, I'd go get my acres, I'd go set it all up, and then I'd do engagements for free. Speaking engagements for free, because then I don't want it's not for the money anymore. I just donate my time. But I'd be busy and I spend a shit ton of time with the family.

SPEAKER_03: 40:44

I'll tell you right now, if I won the lottery, let's say I won half a billion dollars, right? After taxes, it comes down to 250. I'm gonna break it up between the family and then my portion, I'm gonna try to grow that to 10x or 50x or 100x, whatever that is. Because now it's like, okay, cool. I'm gonna start a business, and then I'm gonna go see if my friends want to start a business, and then I'm gonna go see if my other friend wants to start a business. So you become you're you're just now a angel investor for everybody, and I'm gonna wear a piece of everything. Because I'm gonna be like, okay, now now I'm unstoppable. Now, now none of my friends have excuses. None of us have excuses.

SPEAKER_02: 41:16

Right. Because typically it's oh well, I don't have the time and the money. It's time and money, bro. It's really what it is. Well, I got the money and you got the time, so let's get it done.

SPEAKER_03: 41:25

Yeah. Right? So yeah, if I won the lottery, it'd be it'd be game over. I'd have uh 500 businesses with people that I know that I trust. Yeah. And I would literally I'd do that so we could all make a ton of money. That would take so much of your time. And I'd be cool with that.

SPEAKER_00: 41:39

Because I'd be changing so many lives. Well, not necessarily, right? Because, well, yeah, that's a good, that's a very lofty goal. It's a noble quest, right? Because you're changing, you are changing a lot of lives. And I wouldn't want to be involved in the everyday. Right, exactly. You're not in operations. I invest, I might sit on the board so I know what's going on. You might have a monthly conversation. Yeah, but I don't talk to you every day. I don't need to know what's going on.

SPEAKER_03: 42:01

Unless you need to call me. Yeah. No, I'm on a beach. I can I can do it from the beach.

SPEAKER_00: 42:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 42:05

Not 200 acres from a beach. I like that. Ooh, 200 acres on the beach. What about that? Nah. Tsunamis, bro.

SPEAKER_00: 42:13

I need I need to be inland, bro. Hey, just go 50 acres in. I have my old chip washed off.

SPEAKER_03: 42:22

All right. Final words. Once again, if you're gonna try to reinvent yourself, just get the education and make sure that if you're gonna go down that road, it's truly what you want to do. And it's not like a, I saw this in a movie and I think I'm gonna try to do it. It's gotta be something you really want to do. Like it's a lifelong dream that you just haven't had the chance or the time to get done. But if not, and you're 40 and you're just feeling like I'm not where I want to be, just look at the skills that you've acquired over your life and the network that you've gained, the people that you've been able to come across and start renegotiating where you want to get to and how you're gonna get there. I'm sure you have the skills to do it, and I'm sure you know the people to get it done. You're just not spending your time wisely. Or at the end of the day, you're probably just being lazy.

SPEAKER_00: 43:05

Yeah. Mine is a bit more stoic and to the point. Like if you're 40 right now, good news is you have plenty of time. You just don't realize it.

SPEAKER_03: 43:14

You're not halfway there, hopefully.

SPEAKER_00: 43:16

Yeah. Hopefully you're healthy and you're not like the 40 who looks 80. Yeah. Because you know you're out of shape or whatever. So hopefully you're a regular healthy 40-year-old. But if you're 40, the good news is you have time. The bad news is this is it. I hate to put it that way. Because my biggest failure came in my 40s, and I'm not out of it yet. Yeah. Right. So it's a big failure and it hurt a lot. So it set me back quite a bit. But luckily for me, or not luckily, but thankfully, based on my genes, my mom, my dad, my creator, I'm in a situation to where I look and feel a whole lot younger, and I can attack anything that I want and not worry about taking some high blood pressure pill or some shit or whatever, you know? Yeah. But I will tell you, if you're 40, this is it. I'm like so dead serious that you don't go to bed tonight and not write down what you want. It might take you a couple of days, but maybe you write down the fact that your homework over the next 72 hours is to come up with what is it that you want out of life. And if you are married, then make sure that those goals are aligned with what your partner wants. Because the worst thing that could happen is you're working on those goals thinking that's what the other person wants, only to get there to realize you're by yourself. And they're gonna get half. And they never appreciate it. I never asked for this shit. What? Well, don't take it then. Why are you taking the why are you taking it? Well, shit, I was here with you. I've grown accustomed to a few things. Oh man. But yeah, man, just know what like you gotta go figure out what that is and work backwards. It sounds simple, it sounds cliche, but at the end of the day, you need to know what that is and then think of a vehicle. And if the vehicles work, it's your nine to five, then so be it. Maybe you need you need to figure out savings and investments. That's not my vehicle. And I know that it would take me a lot longer to get there through that vehicle, but that's why I come up with hustles and businesses and different things to come up with the money and do what I need to do. But yeah, I think that's kind of where it's at, man. At 40 years old, if you haven't made a decision, the clock is popping. Man, it's ticking. Who and it's loud. Yeah, man. So loud. So loud. Your earring's going, but you can't hear that shit. What?

unknown: 45:38

Talk.

SPEAKER_00: 45:40

Alright, bro. This is the part of the show where we do the outro with the impression. Oh man. I did it last time. Well, you of course you did it last time. Because you're on the show every once in a while. I I don't get to do it. Who you gonna be, bro? I I do Michael. Alright, so are you gonna do Michael? I I'll do Michael. I can do. Which era? Which era, Michael?

SPEAKER_01: 46:03

Just uh this is uh this is medium skin, Michael. Medium skin.

SPEAKER_00: 46:10

Alright, brother, go for it.

SPEAKER_01: 46:12

Um I just wanted to I hope you well, like I said, this is Michael.

SPEAKER_00: 46:16

Nah, bro, you sound like you buckhead Michael. But go ahead.

SPEAKER_01: 46:22

Uh this is uh Michael Jackson. I just want to say I hope you all enjoyed the episode. Um and it's been a great one. I love talking to my fans, I love talking to the people. Bubbles is here. We're having a great time. Um make sure that you like and subscribe. Uh I've got a new album coming out um with Tupac, so make sure you guys go get that too. Um, yeah, and once again, manhood matters. Like, subscribe, we're on all the platforms. I love you guys. Sorry. I just love you guys. I've seen so much meep.

SPEAKER_03: 47:04

We are here.