#50 - From Family Triggers to Inner Freedom

In this 50th episode of Midlife Butterfly, Kena speaks from the middle of life itself — being with family, navigating transitions, honoring her body’s timing, and choosing presence over pressure. She shares what it looks like to listen to your energy instead of forcing consistency, to pause when your heart isn’t fully there, and to trust that your truth lands when it’s ready.

This episode explores midlife empowerment through everyday moments: family dynamics, emotional triggers, boundaries, and the choice to approach others — and yourself — from love without self-abandonment. Kena invites you to notice sensations before stories, to discern rather than react, and to remember that you are always co-creating with life, not carrying it alone.

You’ll leave feeling steadier, more spacious, and reminded that choosing yourself isn’t selfish — it’s sacred.

✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn

• How to approach family triggers with love without abandoning yourself
• Why your body holds the truth before your mind creates stories
• What happens when you choose discernment instead of reaction
• The truth about boundaries as an act of self-respect, not rejection
• How trusting life shifts your entire midlife healing journey

🦋 Reflection Questions

1. Where in my life am I still reacting instead of consciously choosing?
2. What would change if I trusted my body more than old mental stories?
3. How can I approach myself and others, from love without self-betrayal?

If you’ve been feeling disconnected… even after doing the inner work—this is your invitation.
Join me live on April 16 for a guided Neuro-Epigenetic Breathing experience to reconnect with your bodyregulate your nervous system, and come back to yourself..

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Through nervous system regulation, Neuroepigenetic Breathing, and grounded integration practices, you create safety in your body and expansion in your life.

This is where insight becomes lived experience.

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🦋 Work With Me
If this episode landed in your body and not just your mind,
you may be standing at a threshold.

I offer connection calls for women who feel ready to move, align, and embody the inner work they’re already doing.

This is an intimate conversation to feel into whether working together is a true yes.

If you’re done searching and ready to choose yourself more fully,
you’re invited to book a call through the link below.

Trust what brought you here.

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Transcript

Gratitude And Lessons From Guests

Honouring Energy And Creative Pauses

Returning Home And Big Life Transitions

Social Media Breaks And Sustainability

Entrepreneurship From The Being

Family Loyalty And Shining Anyway

Boundaries, Compassion, And Perspective

Feel It In The Body First

Rehearsing Responses And Saving Energy

Choosing Love As Daily Practice

Co‑Creating With God And Surrender

You Are Infinite; Live From It

Closing Gratitude And Community Call

Kena Siu 0:25

Celebration. Welcome, beautiful soul. This is Midlife Butterfly, the space where you remember who you truly are beneath all the roles, responsibilities, and expectations. And we are celebrating the 50th episode of this podcast. I am your host and empowerment guide, Ken a Siu. And I hold this space for women in midlife who are ready to rediscover themselves, reclaim their joy, and live fully aligned. If you are new here, welcome to the cocoon. You just enter a place where choosing yourself isn't selfish but sacred. Welcome back. And yes, we're celebrating the 50th episode of this midlife butterfly podcast. Wow. It's been quite a journey, and I'm so excited. I mean, it's been almost a year. We started on January 8th, and uh here I am with you, and you are here with me, and I am very grateful for that. For every word I have shared here from my side, from my experience, from my wisdom, from my grief, from my joy, from my sadness, from my perspective. I mean, yes, I am so happy to be here, and I am so grateful for you for taking the time, for taking your energy, for being here. It is a pleasure. Yeah, it's seriously a pleasure and an honor for me to have you in your ears. And also, I want to thank every guest, every expert who has been here through this year with me. Many stories, so much window wisdom shared. I learned so much from others, from myself, and it really helped me also to get out of my own bubble. Because, yeah, many times we live in our own bubbles and we don't know what other people are going through, and we assume very easily, and we project or we get triggered very simple. And when the truth is, we don't know what other people are going through. I hardly know sometimes who I am or how am I going through. I mean, how many lives and how many deaths through this year, through too many, you know, processes in life. And and that's the beauty of is of it, right? It's we are always going through something, and and that's life. That's life. And we struggle sometimes to understand what we are going through or why we are experiencing things instead of asking what for, I guess, instead of why. Yeah, it's yeah, it's keep. I think it's better when we get better questions than just like why me or yeah, no, that not not that anymore. Yeah, but my point is it's been a beautiful year of sharing in here, and it has been magical, and it has been sad sometimes, and it has been very joyful other times and very heart-opening. All I can say is that I feel my heart full and expanded, and that is thanks to you for being here, and that is thanks to every person who has been here sharing their voice with me, and to my courage and resilience as well, because it's been quite a process since the beginning, you know, knowing the technological side and and yeah, I mean, it's been a beautiful journey, I can say, and most of the time, yes, I've been open, like I feel now like yes, I want to be here and it's cool. Like sometimes I was like, oh, I don't feel like recording at this time, it's like not, it's not a good timing. And I want to mention this that I have learned a lot more about myself and learning to connect to my body more and more, and honor honoring its energy that when sometimes I didn't feel like recording, I was like, okay, let's do something else, and I will allow myself to take that pause to do something else, to focus on something else when I didn't feel my heart full of presence to be here and share my truth, and and that's why sometimes the episodes were like 24 hours later that I usually post on Tuesdays, or they were on Wednesdays, you know. And because as you might know, we are energetic beings, and energy it's it's everything. So I was like, I'm not gonna come here and share something if I don't feel it, if I'm not going to come and say it from the heart, and yeah, so every episode you have listened here is because it was full of presence or it was full of my hundred percent at that very moment, and yeah, I'm celebrating that, I'm celebrating that journey, and thank you for being here. And I'm also celebrating by the time you're listening to this, it's gonna be already my mom's birthday, and I am very happy that I am in Mexico celebrating her life one more time with my family as well. I got here a couple of weeks ago, and it was quite a transition, you know, from Montreal to here. There were a lot of things happening at the same time, you know, like renting the apartment. I think I mentioned it in another episode, and then the studies with the neuroepigenetic breathing certification that I'm taking, and then plus the packing and the cleaning and saying goodbye to friends, the whole thing, plus choosing to stay away from social media for a bit. I just needed a break. I mean, I've been there just a bit, you know, to share the past episodes, but not creating content simple because I my body was just needing a break, and I honoring it because one of the reasons also that this podcast was created was to push between quotes myself to be more out there to speak more my truth in social media, not only here in the podcast. Because before I used to be out there, and then I will tend to hide for a couple of months and then go out there for another two, three months, and then hide again. And then I thought, okay, the podcast can help me actually to be there more often. And to tell you the truth, it worked because uh until yeah, like the middle of November or something, the whole year I've been there present in social media, so yeah, I can say that I can celebrate that as well because it takes a lot of energy, it takes a lot of energy and time. I don't know, there's something happening, you know, that is brewing at this at this time. I'm actually taking a program about it's called Emprender Desel Serpreneurship from the being that is just like blowing my mind, and it's actually with my uh the same mentor from the neuroepigenetic breathing certification that I'm taking. So, besides you know being in the part of the being of becoming more myself, we're also in the part of applying all the knowledge from the side of the business, and we're still doing you know breathing exercises to get there, and it's just like whoo! I mean, I think I really think there's no coincidence that this program is for three months, and it's basically more like the three months that I've been spending this time with family here. Because one of the first things that she said is if you want to have a successful business, you need to literally divorce from your family, because it is amazing how much we hold how much loyalty we have, you know, to our parents, mom, dad, siblings, and the voices of other members of the family, and because we are so loyal to them, or maybe so fearful to them, that we don't allow ourselves to shine and do what our soul is meant to be doing here as purpose on life, as spark, as service, you know, that we want to do, and the thing is when they give a little comment, even if it's from a from a place of love, like saying, Hey, what's going on? Like, you know, like because you're not having the results that you want yet. It's like, okay, so now what? Are you still doing it? Are you gonna quit? Are you gonna search for another job? Like, what's happening? And I understand that they do it from a place of love, you know, because they want the best for us, but at the same time, it's a bit like discouraging because it's like, well, you don't believe in me, you know, it's all these ah, all these waves up and down when that happened. And yeah, so it's very interesting that I'm you know, I'm taking that program at this at this very time, and I'm here with my family, and while, you know, interacting with all of them and not being only, you know, in my bubble by living on my own, it's of course a complete different experience, the one that I'm having now, and it's so beautiful because it gets me another perspective of saying, yeah, it's so cool to be in your bubble, but life also happens with other people, and what's best than being with your family, and you may relate to this because I mean it's and more because it's the holidays and we have more, you know, more gatherings and stuff, and it's it can be hard, it can be challenging when we have the the points of view of other people, and the thing is they don't really know what we are going through, and I don't really know what they are going through, and it's okay. What I mean is to allow it and to accept it because we hardly know ourselves, and even me that I'm doing the inner work constantly, I'm still discovering a lot of things within me, so I cannot assume what the other person is going through, and sometimes it's hard to understand them because you might receive a very harsh response to a simple question, or you might get a comment that is like, okay, what? Or, you know, those little things that affect us in one way or another, and more when it's people that we love that they are very close to us, and I just like the other day, I just needed to pause and and kind of like reflect on a situation that it happened with my nephew, and when I went deeper and think more about his upbringing and the situations that he's been through life, the little bit that I know, then I understood why many times he acts or reacts from where he is, and by doing so because I felt hurt, then I was like, okay, it's coming from this place, and I was like, and I still love him, and I am going to continue to love him, and it's just seeing it from that perspective, the little bit of perspective that I can have from his side, and say, Okay, you know, it's it doesn't mean that I'm gonna take shit from him because already happened, and I I was like, no, no, no, no. I put the boundary right away, but it's just trying to put ourselves in their shoes, even when many times they don't try to put their feet on our shoes, you know. But it's okay, it's okay, it's about approaching them with an open heart, because my heart has expanded so so so much through this year, and it's so beautiful to be able to give from that place and receive from that place, and the thing is it doesn't matter if that receiving is not the same as I am giving, because of course each of us we give from what we are capable of, and because my hundred percent is not gonna be your hundred percent and not the hundred percent of another person, right? So it's just accepting and again approaching people from that place of love. So I wanted to share that with you because I think it's important and more in this time of the year when we face and have a lot of conversations with people that are you know family, and yeah, I do believe because I have experienced it that when I shift, when I choose to approach them from a different angle, it's it's a complete different interaction. So, yeah, I want to share that with you because not forgetting to put the boundaries though. Don't forget about that, and and then also notice like when something happens, like, okay, what is it? Like, what am I really feeling? Like, am I feeling like rejection, or am I feeling fear, or am I feeling like sadness, or am I feeling joy, actually, or you know, whatever it is that you are experiencing, just notice what is in there. Check your body, not yes, notice with your body. Uh, I'm not telling you to notice with your mind because if you actually notice properly, your body is gonna feel it first, and then it goes to your mind. The sensation, the emotion comes to the body first. So when you are there and it's like, ah, okay, and you can name it, it's sometimes easier to get out of that stuck moment or of that rabbit hole that we used to go when the mind, you know, starts like digging more and start saying it stories and stuff like that, and it's about having that awareness and to choose, really, because you have discernment, so use your discernment when situations happen. It's it's totally out up to you how you want to experience every moment, you know. So yeah, that's an invitation for you, and uh what else I wanted to share to you with you today. I think already mixed out all the things. Uh yeah, I really wanted to share this piece of being around people because I know some listeners that I have here, like they are also single women or single men, and it's different when we start interacting with other people and just noticing how we are acting, reacting, and what is my you know, your mind saying, what is going on. So again, we can choose how we can act and react. And even though sometimes that choosing it might not be the best option that we want, but we still get to to choose. And that's what makes the difference. To dig in more. Was it easy? No. And then the more I dig in, and the more I understood why he's angry with life, in a few words, it was painful, and it is painful because I would like to help him, but I can hardly change myself, so I cannot change others. And what I can do is just choose to see him with the eyes of with the eyes of love, choose to interact with him with a heart open, full of love. And sometimes, yeah, my heart might close a bit because something not very nice happened. But that that's what it is, and and understanding that it has nothing to do with me, nothing to do with me. That's at the end what changes it all. So just think about it the next time that you have a situation with someone, because like I said it at the beginning, like thinking about ourselves isn't selfish, it's it's sacred, and the truth is even though when we think that what is gonna people say about me or think about me, at the end, I'm better said at the beginning, each of us we are in our own heads, we are in our own bubbles, so it's about okay, what are you gonna do with that? What is in your head, and how what are you choosing? How are you going to discern what you are thinking? Do you want to go again to that rabbit hole, or do you rather think like okay, I allow it, I accept it? Yeah, it hurts, and I choose joy, or I choose peace at this time, or I choose to be sad a bit for a bit, or I choose to fucking real really say, Yeah, it hurts, and at the same time, say I hurt it hurts, and I love you, and I will choose to move on. There are other things to think about, there are other things to do that instead of just digging in the hole even more, and something that happens and probably happens to you as well, is like we do so many stories in our head, oh fuck, and then more when we are around people, right? And family, because when sometimes when we know that a certain situation might repeat again with a person, we are already like in defensive mode, right? So, in those cases, it's more about, and I said the other day about setting boundaries, is more about rehearsing a bit, like saying, okay, if I know that this might happen, just rehearse how you want to act or react at that moment. I mean, it's very valid to do that, but to rehearse in a way for you to stay grounded, to stay with a heart open and centered instead of thinking about what may happen and what you may say or not say to the other person, and start this bottling in your head of the possible fight that you may have with this person. It's like, no, like fuck no, don't spend your energy on that. Is it worth it? I don't think so. I don't think so. We spend so much time fighting in our heads, and then sometimes in person, that we are here. The aim of the human being, of this human experience, it doesn't matter from which angle of tradition of religion you are coming at the end. If humans then twisted is another thing, but the aim is love. So if you focus yourself on being that light of love, because you are, if you think you are not, simply put your hands over your heart, take a few deep breaths, and then respond this to me if you are love or not, and if you don't feel it at this moment, believe me, it is down there. It is probably because you haven't you haven't connected to it in a while, or you haven't allowed it to go through you, because that's the other thing, it's much easier to tune in to other emotions that we are more used to it, like anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, shame. It's easier because your body, yourselves, are already addicted to that. So connecting to love is so uncomfortable. It could be very uncomfortable. It is about practice, and the more you practice, the more this light within you is gonna grow and grow a little bit more and more, so then you can actually shift yourselves, your biochemical body to something that is more useful to you than carrying all those between quote negative emotions that they're simply just guiding you to go to feel joy and peace and love. So it's connecting to that, and this season of the holidays when we are a bit more open and a bit more vulnerable, allow yourself to open your heart a bit, allow yourself to see yourself from another perspective because when you shift that from your side, then the world outside shifts, it does shift, and then you're gonna be experiencing a total different life little by little, you know. I mean it's possible. You might probably be thinking, what the fuck are you talking about? Or how hard? It's very hard. I'm not saying it's easy, I'm not saying it's easy, it's about practice, it's a habit. Choosing to see and experience life from a place of love. You gotta choose it, and it builds little by little. It was not from not even last year, two years, has been a process, and a process that is has been so worth it, so worth it because living from this place and experiencing life like this, when things still happen, because that's life. One of my mentors she says, Yeah, there's a lot of people saying, Oh, I'm going into this deep process. There is no process, the process is actually life, and that's so true. Because life, it's it's simple life. There's always going to be happening things that we consider bad, that we consider good, that we consider black, that we consider white, and it's everything in between. It depends how we choose to see it, and it depends how we want to approach it. So, how do you choose to approach life? From guilt, from shame, from frustration, from anger, or you choose to approach them from a place of peace and joy and harmony. It's up to you. You are the creator, or the co-creator, better said, because the universe, God, source, we are an extension of them, and when you get to really realize that you are co-creating together, because seriously, as humans, at one point, I don't know you, but I was so fucking stubborn and thinking that no, I can't do everything on my own and trying to control everything, and that's when life is hard. Why? Because we don't choose to trust God, the universe, and you know, serves, who is actually the one who brought us here in the first place, and God is always there for us, so it's like are you asking for help or you still want to do it on your own? Because once we have that little piece of faith, of surrender, of allowing, everything changes, everything changes because you're gonna feel how some weight that you might feel in your shoulders is going just to drop a little bit, and the more you surrender, and the more you trust, the more that weight is gonna come out of your body. We are co-creators, you are a co-creator, and to be able to create the life that you want the most, you can ask for support, and I can understand that sometimes it's so fucking hard because there comes times that we were abandoned or rejected by other people, or we were not loved as we wanted, that then we start saying, Oh no, I can do it on my own, I can do it on my own, and we get into that bubble of I was going to say superpower, but seriously, it's not a superpower. I think it's I think it's arrogance. How it's been myself, you know, in myself when I have not really asked the universe for support. And the thing is, she's always there for me. She's always there for you. When are you going or what has to happen to finally fucking break that what's the word I forgot? Like that pride of saying, I need help, I want your help to live better, to feel better. Because we we believe that life it's it's challenging, that existence is challenging, and the issue is that we don't realize that we are existence itself experiencing in this body. I had that realization not even a month ago, and that brought me to my knees. Because we think that we are so limited when the truth is our body is limited because it has a length of life, right? The body, but our being, your being, it's infinite. If you are part of existence, if you are part of the universe, if you are part of God, it's infinite, and once you get to understand it and really like embodying it, it's like you will realize how much you can create or experience by being open and by trusting and by being certain that you are supported all the time. Because you are. So you can choose what you want to experience and then celebrate, celebrate life, because then it happens so fucking fast that I we are here after 50 episodes, and I feel so joyful and fulfilled and full of love. I feel such an expansive heart at this moment, and believe me that even when I don't know you, you are getting love from me. And I thank you for keeping here for your time, for sharing with me in silence because probably while you're listening to me, you are also having you know your own conversation in the head, and probably agreeing or disagreeing or relating or whatever it is. So thank you for sharing your love with me. Thank you for allowing me to share a little bit of me, of my wisdom, of my life experience that I know it can relate to many, and to choose life. To approach life from a place of love. Love, love, love. Amor amor amor. Thank you for listening and have a beautiful day. Much love to you as usual. Take care. Thank you for tuning in to Midlife Butterfly. I hope this episode empowers you in some way. Share the love by hitting follow whatever you're listening and leave a review if you feel inspired. I also love to connect with you. Come say hi on Instagram at Midlife Butterfly. I love to know you. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and live enjoy growth and pleasure.