#58 - Midlife Reinvention: A Loving Shift To Live With More Ease

When discomfort shows up, do you rush to fix it… or can you stay? In this episode, we explore the quiet power of becoming the observer — the woman who no longer lets her mind run the show. Through real-life moments and grounded reflection, you’ll discover how choosing presence over judgment shifts your entire midlife healing journey. This is about self-trust, emotional freedom, and remembering the steady awareness beneath the noise — so you can meet life with more softness, clarity, and power.

✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn

• How to interrupt judgment and return to observer awareness
• Why resisting discomfort strengthens midlife stress loops
• What happens when you choose love over mental control
• How presence transforms frustration into grounded action
• The truth about mind control vs. embodied self-trust

🦋 Reflection Questions

• Where am I fighting my present moment instead of allowing it?
• What changes when I choose love over judgment in real time?
• How would my day feel if I trusted awareness more than my mind?

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Transcript

Welcome And Core Intention

Kena Siu 0:24

When something uncomfortable moves through you, notice how fast the impulse comes to change it. In that small moment is the doorway. The show is to observe, to stay present, and allow what's here instead of fighting your own experience. Welcome, beautiful soul. This is Midlife Butterfly, the space where you remember who you truly are beneath all the roles, responsibilities, and expectations. I am your empowerment guide, Ken a Siu, and I hold this space for women in midlife who are ready to rediscover themselves, reclaim their joy, and live fully aligned. If you are new here, welcome to our cocoon. You've just entered a place where choosing yourself isn't selfish, it's sacred. Welcome back to the podcast today. So, yes, we're gonna talk about just being the observer and allowing. Before I go there, I just want to tell you there is a lot of stuff going on. But first of all, this is my birthday month, and also a lot of family members. So we started the celebrations yesterday with my nephew, and then my sister and my brother, and then more family members, and we're about to celebrate all together at the end of the month. So I'm very excited about that because we haven't celebrated together in a long, long time. And uh yeah, so stay posted to more news about that. And then I finally got certified in neuroepigenetic breathing. And it is funny because when I got the news, I was quite exhausted that day for some reason when I read it at the end of the day, even though the email was sent before. And yeah, I mean, I felt happy, but not as excited as I was expecting to tell the truth. And that was just something interesting to observe and to say, yeah, it has been more than seven months going through this, and still, you know, I know that I want to review the classes again, because even though I have been meditating and breathing and feeling all that into my body, there is more there that my body like wants to experience and to embody more and more as the process keeps you know evolving. And this week I'm actually holding my very first group. We started yesterday, we're gonna do it for three years for three days, and we will I was holding space for five people, and it was very beautiful, and again coming back to the observer, and I want to emphasize in this because when we become the observer and now and realizing that you are not your mind, you leave space for more. Well, first of all, because you notice that you are the observer, not not the mind, and from there, I guess the way I perceive it, there are two ways. Either you go the way of choosing love, or on the contrary, of choosing judgment. Unfortunately, as humans, we are very good at judging. It doesn't matter what is it, and we tend our mind tends to go there most of the time. And by having the awareness of just being the observer, then you just choose love and allow things to be the way they are because there's nothing to control if you think about it. I mean, we want to control things, but the truth is we can't. The only thing we can actually control is our mind, and by being the observer, then you get to choose if you want to judge or if you want to redirect the mind with the eyes and the body and that expansion of love. The other thing that I experienced in the past days that I also became the observer is the fact that I decided to paint the office bedroom that I use here at my mom's place. And so I calculated that this will take me two days. Well, it ended up it took me almost four because the the wall is not how to say it's kind of like graspy. I don't know what would be this word in English. I'm sorry if I don't know this terminology. What I mean is not completely flat, and and it took me much more time to actually paint it because I needed to do it for every angle. So the little, you know, the rusty balls that are over there need to be painted, and it took a lot of effort and more materials and painting and stuff like that. And when I realized that this was happening, that it was going to take me more time, uh, because I actually finished on Tuesday and I thought I was going to finish on Monday, and then of course the week started, and I had classes and stuff, so I was like, okay, just be present here and one moment at a time. Just choosing to take one moment at a time instead of allowing, you know, the overwhelming thoughts of I'm not gonna finish on time, like how I expected, and then this is happening. You know how the mind plays, and now nothing else is coming through because luckily a lot of all those kind of dots I don't go there anymore to that corner to tell you the truth. But I know you get my point. By being the observer and being present, then I just did what I had to do. I just got more, you know, another brush and to be able to paint it in a faster way. I just was listening to classes, I record, you know, some recordings, I was listening to music sometimes. I found a way to make it more pleasant because of course I don't want I was not going to leave the room half painted while all the furniture was outside. And then I was taking advantage of the warm weather. I mean, the winter here at my hometown has been crazy. It was like 28 degrees Celsius the other day. It's just insane. And then for my birthday, it's gonna be like 15 maximum or something like that. Anyway, my point is coming back to that presence and coming back to that observer, and from there choosing, okay, what can I do now? What is it? What is the next step that I can take to make this task that is gonna take me much longer than expected an easier one? That's what I did, like I said, you know, listening to classes and podcasts and stuff like that. And also observing my mind while I was painting and not going to, oh, this is talking longer, and dragging myself down there, and just allowing the present moment how it was unfolding. That's it, and that's it. Because if I wouldn't start fighting the situation, it would have been actually frustrated, and I didn't get to that point, I didn't allow myself to go there again. The only thing you can control, I can control is our minds. So what are you choosing to or better say why is the way that you want to redirect your mind to avoid suffering, to avoid frustration that is unnecessary because in this case that's what was happening. I wanted to finish painting this, and I just I didn't have another option than to keep going and keep going, and that was it, and that's what I did, and then until it was done. So my point here for you is are you being the observer and are you choosing love instead of judgment and going down the rabbit hole when situations in your life are different yet than you expected? And this usually happens. Many things in our lives are things that we didn't expect. And the thing is, we get to bitch about the ones that we don't like. But when something extraordinary and fun and exciting happened, we of course don't use to judge it, we just embrace it because it's good according to our mind. But what about welcoming whatever we consider also bad or frustrated between quotes, and just allow it so then that experience that you are having, that creation, because you are the creator, you are right there on it, you just experience it with more ease and more flow and at peace. That's it. That's it. So that's what that's what I wanted to talk about today. This is sweet and short, but I hope this helps you reflect and helps you bring more awareness in every moment of your day. So you realize with that awareness that you are the observer and you are the one creating every experience. So you get to choose. You get to choose love, you get to choose judgment, and you know how these two different energies feel in your body. So I invite you to bring more love into each of your experiences to feel that softness, to feel that peace and joy and softness and gratitude that it is when we embrace love more and more. I'm sending you a lot of love today. Have a beautiful week and take care. Thank you for tuning in to Midlife Butterfly. I hope this episode empowers you in some way. Share the love by hitting follow whatever you're listening and leave a review if you feel inspired. I also love to connect with you. Come say hi on Instagram at Midlife Butterfly. I love to know you. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and live enjoy, growth, and pleasure.