The Winning Mindset
The Winning Mindset is for empowering athletes, parents, and coaches to excel in sports and life. We focus on building mental toughness, positive attitudes, and promoting personal growth through shared insights and motivational content.
The Winning Mindset
Coaching Myself First: The Journey to Becoming a Better Leader
Coaching is about so much more than X's and O's. In this deeply personal conversation, Chris Mullins and Jeff Moyer take us behind the whistle to share their transformative coaching journeys—from demanding drill sergeants to mentors who build genuine connections with their players.
Every coach starts somewhere, and both Chris and Jeff candidly admit they began by mimicking the aggressive coaching styles they experienced in their youth. "I was that guy at one point," Chris reflects, acknowledging that his early intensity likely drove some kids away from sports altogether. Jeff shares similar regrets from his early college coaching days when he focused exclusively on developing athletes while overlooking the humans beneath the uniforms.
The turning points in their coaching philosophies came through powerful moments of clarity. For Chris, it was his wife's simple yet profound reminder during a challenging season: "You've forgotten your why." For Jeff, it was brave enough to stand before his team and ask for honest feedback about his coaching approach. These moments of vulnerability led both men to fundamentally rethink how they connect with their players.
What emerges is a coaching philosophy that balances high standards with genuine care—tough love coupled with personal connection. From personalized handshakes to intentional conversations, they've discovered that when players know you care about them as people first, they'll "run through a brick wall for you" as athletes.
Whether you coach youth sports or college athletics, this conversation offers valuable insights on building a coaching support system, maintaining your passion through difficult seasons, and remembering that your impact extends far beyond the field. As Chris poignantly notes, "Sometimes, you may be the only version of Jesus that some of these kids ever see."
Welcome in, ladies and gentlemen, to episode six of the Winning Mindset podcast. Alongside Chris Mullins, I'm your new co-host, jeff Moyer, and we are going to hop in here today and talk about just some things that have kind of meant a lot to us throughout our coaching journey, from lessons we've learned to some transparency moments we'd like to share with you guys and you know we've had a few guests on and we think it'd just be time to, you know, kind of sit and chat and talk about things we've been through in the coaching world me at the high school and college level and Chris at the youth level and hit on the things that we've spoken about with some of our guests in the past.
Speaker 2:Jeff, what's up? Buddy? Glad we could conquer the technical difficulties we had leading up to actually getting this thing rocking and rolling and recording this episode. We conquered it.
Speaker 1:You know it's never easy, man. I listened to the last podcast. I was a little upset about how I sounded, so here we are headphones, the mixer from my buddy, Colin Lacey, from Georgia Southern Athletics. We're turning it up a notch today, Chris.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what I said before we started recording. You look like you're calling plays up in the booth, so you know you look legit.
Speaker 1:I wish I was calling plays.
Speaker 2:Hey, never too late man, never too late, change careers, go to the football side of things. No, man, I'm super excited about this episode. I think you and I it's kind of funny, I guess this episode kind of organically was created from our text thread. I think you and I just started texting one day about some stuff and kind of started bouncing stories and ideas and and and experiences that we've had coaching and also just philosophies and we kind of were just throwing that stuff back and forth with each other and, and it was funny, after we we finished the episode with rebecca, we, you know, we were kind of talking through next show plans and I was like, hey, I feel like it's time, let's, let's do this episode. Let's talk about our, our coaching history, our coaching, you know, stories and philosophies and you know, I think it, I think this one's going to be super beneficial and it's cool because I don't think we've actually addressed the coaches yet. Right, we've talked about players, we've talked about parents and stuff, and now now we kind of get to get to talk to the guys, that you guys, that we can put our feet in their shoes and understand a lot of things that they're going through and dealt with and share things that we've made mistakes and issues with. So I think this is going to be a super cool episode. I'm super excited about it. Let's talk origin stories, right. Let's kind of talk about how we started coaching, right. I know we talked about it a little bit in your episode, obviously, with how you transitioned from college baseball to moving into actually coaching college baseball.
Speaker 2:And you know, for me specifically, you know, I don't know that coaching was something that I really had in the plans right when I started. I don't think it was something for me that I was like, hey, I think I'm going to coach my kid in sports. You know, I mean I was always, you know, down for it in my mind, but you know, just the time had not come. And I remember we signed Harlow up for football, up for football and, uh, I'll never forget it. It's. It's funny now.
Speaker 2:But, like the guy, they were just doing like kind of pre-season drills and warm-ups and and we're having a bunch of kids out there and I mean this is, this is kindergarten. All the way through fifth grade they're all on the football field and they're breaking them up into different groups and they had this one dude with probably 20 something kindergarten kids and I mean you want to talk about like the prime example of what herding cats looks like. That. That's it. Like you know, he's like hey guys, come on. Hey, hey guys, come on. Pay attention, you can just tell he was so overwhelmed and I kind of laughed about it and walked over and I was like hey, you need an extra hand. And he was like that'd be great. And so that's kind of how my coaching role started, was that?
Speaker 2:And fast forward, the season starts. The team started to get formed. We had a high number of kids at the grade level the kindergarten first grade grade level and the league had actually decided to introduce eight man football for the kindergarten first grade league and so or age group, I should say and so what they decided to do was take those teams and basically take the older kindergarten first grade kids that were experienced and put them on a team, and then all the new kids. They were like hey, you're going to play eight-man football. And so the coaching role was kind of just thrown in my lap, like hey, you're now not just an assistant coach, you're a head coach. And and me and another dad, you know we, we kind of shared the head coach role, which that in and of itself was a nightmare. Just trying to navigate, you know who's in charge with what and things like that.
Speaker 2:But but, to be frank, I had no clue what in the world I was doing.
Speaker 2:I mean that you know. For me that's kind of how it all started. I had no idea, I'm jumping into it not really having an idea, and so I think automatically right, you revert back to what you're used to, what you remember, and for us it was. For me specifically, it was reverting back to how I was coached. The coaches from the 90s know the 90s that you know the coach would show up to baseball practice in a leather jacket and finish the last drag of a cigarette and flick it in the parking lot and walk up to the ball field and be like let's go, guys, it's time to hit. And you know, and that was the same with football and it was just like that, that just raw aggressive nature.
Speaker 2:And you know and that's also you know again, not having a clue what in the world I'm doing on the football field. I'm just looking around at what everybody else is doing, you know, seeing what this team's doing and how this coach is coaching and trying to you know fast, you know learn on the fly, fast paced kind of figure out what the heck is going on. And I'm like this coach is screaming like a drill sergeant. This coach is screaming like a drill sergeant. Okay, I guess I scream like a drill sergeant. That's what I'm supposed to do here and that's really kind of how it started for me in coaching and you know it was intense, it was control-driven, you know it was high on discipline and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with discipline. I think it's great.
Speaker 2:I'm a huge proponent of coaching discipline, but I forgot in the moment that a lot of it was. These kids are kindergartners. Half of these kids don't even know how to tie their shoe yet and I'm getting mad at them because they can't get a three-point stance Reluctantly. I feel like I was too hard on those kids.
Speaker 2:I know now, and I've had this conversation, it's funny, several of my coaches that are still with me we've talked about how much we've changed with coaching philosophy on those kids. And you know and and I know now and I've had this conversation, it's funny, several of my coaches that are still with me we've talked about how much we've changed with coaching philosophy and and the way it is now. But, like you know, it's sad to me because I I know ultimately for me I I probably ruined the game of football for a lot of kids and that and that's that's honestly heartbreaking to to think about now that some of those kids that aren't playing could still be playing if I wouldn't have coached the way that I did. So I know we'll dive into it more obviously as we talk further into this, but you know that's kind of my, you know, youth approach as far as how I kind of started. But let's hear from you, bud, what was your story like Mine's.
Speaker 1:Not much different, I mean, other than the fact that I knew I wanted to coach as soon as I was done playing. Once I got into it, I reverted to ball. That's what I reverted to. How do I coach? I'm going to coach the players hard, but for me, the way I got into it, it was something that I didn't want.
Speaker 1:A nine to five. I didn't want to go to work, I didn't really know what I wanted to do and I knew baseball and that's what I wanted to do. And I was given the opportunity right out of college to go be an assistant at a high school and, um, you know, it was just the, the perfect fit. But baseball was my passion and I was dedicated to making baseball my career. And you know, when I was I think I graduated at 22 years old I didn't really know what I was, you know, going to be doing or anything like that. So you know, for me I didn't know what I was doing.
Speaker 1:When I got into it, you know, I think it was just hey, how can I take what I learned from my playing days at the places I've been and give it to these guys and along the way. You know. I think there's some things that you know get lost and priorities get mixed up when you're a young coach and you're just really trying to figure things out. Like you said, the intentions are good, but there's another layer to coaching that when you're just getting into it, you don't always see. And I think the longer you're in it, you know, as I moved in two, three, five, 10 years down the road I saw there was layers to coaching and you're seeing that as well with you know coaching at the youth level you got into it when Harlow was in kindergarten and you know you start to feel back those layers and say, wow, coaching really is more than just the sport. You know there's a lot that goes into this.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely to that. And I and I think that I, at the time when I started, didn't realize that, you know, and I, and rightfully so I don't think necessarily everybody does realize that, but but it is important and I think that's why it's important that we kind of talk about that and talk about our, our journeys and our experiences because, you know, even even at the youth and rec level, for us, like you know, we're a feeder system, football program, and so it is important that we are delivering a quality product to, you know, to the kids and to the program, because ultimately, the goal with it being a feeder system is that we are preparing these kids for the middle school, high school level, for the same program. And so, you know, it is important to make sure that we are delivering the best you know product that we can as far as a coaching staff and a team.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I think that's interesting. I mean the thing that the thing that I always go back to is you know, we're going to talk about what we believe makes a good coach, and for me, the things that I believe made a good coach early on in my career are still the same things that I believe make a good coach now. The difference is the way I approach those things. How do I approach the discipline, how do I approach the relationship side of things? Because what makes good coaches? That stuff should never change. You're not going to go from being an X's and O's coach to just coaching a human. They're all encompassed. It's just the way you go about them.
Speaker 1:So I feel like what I was good at as a young coach was coaching my butt off. I was passionate, I yelled, I disciplined, I kicked guys out of practice, but that's all I was focused on at the time as a young coach was the player himself. I think as coaches, a lot of times we fail to see the kid behind the helmet or the player underneath the hat or the player at shortstop, and that's not necessarily the wrong thing, but that goes back to the layers we were talking about. I would think I was hard on guys because I knew what it took to win, because I wanted a high level playing at Florida and I wanted those guys to experience that too. But you know, and I don't think I did any of it in a negative way but baseball and the baseball player was really all I worried about, because I wanted to win and make players better on the field. So I don't know what about you. What are some of the things that you thought made a good coach early on in your career?
Speaker 2:You know, I think to that. You know, not knowing and realizing, you know everything about it. I think one of the big things that I focused on was the ultimate goal and the outcome, as opposed to. I think still, as a good coach, you focus on the outcome, but I think the type outcome that you're looking for as a great coach is different than the outcome you're looking for as a bad coach. Hear me out, I love winning, don't get me wrong. I think that's huge and I think that winning is also a ultimate test and proof to to what you're doing is working as a coach.
Speaker 2:But I think sometimes, when we get so hyper fixated on winning that we, like you said I mean, what you said is spot on when we, when we stop looking at the player as a person and we look at the player as as a player and you know we're we're not coaching them as individual humans I think we overlook that aspect of it and we're not getting the best out of them as an athlete. Because, I mean, I I had this conversation with with with a friend the other day it's like if you coach too hard and too aggressive especially, you know, really in anything you, you you force them into a fear of failure, right To where every, every kid is playing tight and loose, you know not excuse me tight and not loose, and they're, and they're rigid, and they're scared to move and they're scared to make a mistake. And so I think, for me, like I was so fixated on, like everybody's got to be disciplined and everybody's got, you know, these kids need to, you know, be able to stay in a three-point stance and because we're gonna win, we're gonna win, we're gonna win, and and and it was like little johnny can't play, oh well, you know, he's gonna, he's gonna step to the sideline and it's whatever. You know, the kids that can play are the ones that are gonna stay in. And what happened is like little johnny didn't get the development that he deserved at a young age. And I think that that's and I think, especially on the youth and rec level, we see that a lot is is that we, we don't give the kids who deserve the chance the chance. We, we fixate on winning so much that it's at the expense of those kids and those kids enjoying the game and developing and growing in that. And so I think for me, that's what that's really.
Speaker 2:Where I failed at was was not focusing on the player as a person and I focused on the on the player.
Speaker 2:As you know, they're the pawn in my chess game of coaching, right that you know I've got to use them to to to work out the outcome that I desire, which is winning a championship and things like that.
Speaker 2:And so, stepping back and realizing now that you know it's important that they know, as your coach, that you care about them and you care about the development and betterment of them as an individual, you tend to get a lot more out of them than whatever a kid who doesn't feel like you care for them and you're just there to drill, sergeant, and you're also I mean frankly, like at the youth level like you're making it miserable for the kid. You know, if a kid doesn't want to be there, you know what I mean. You're failing as a coach and that and that's what I tell, like as a youth director, like that's what I tell these guys now and all these head coaches that are you know grades younger than me that are just starting in this, like I'm, like, don't, don't be so hyper fixated on at the youth level, on the wins and losses.
Speaker 2:Like I, if, if at the youth level, if you're, if your kids want to come back every single season, if your kids are excited to show up to practice and are excited to show up to games and they're excited to play, for as a coach, you're doing something right and you're and you're headed in the right direction, will all of the stuff come together. You know the, the, the them figuring out how to do plays, the them working and and and understanding how, what it means to give full effort. All that stuff's going to come together. But, like at at the kindergarten, first, first grade, second grade level, these kids should be enjoying the game and learning the game. If that's what's happening, that's your measure of success. Retention is your measure of success.
Speaker 1:The biggest thing I'm hearing from you is and we talk about it all the time winning is a process, but the process is more than the X's and O's, the drills we do at practice, the two hours we have with them in the weight room. It's more than that. The process is how are we developing these kids as young boys and at my level, the college level, what are we doing to you know shape, what they're going to do after sports? And everybody talks process, process, process, but we don't really realize what the process encompasses outside of just the sport. And I think that's what you learn through.
Speaker 1:You know hard times with your players, hard times with your own coaches, and you know realization moments like hey, I really screwed this up. Like man, I've got this process right, but I need to figure out the process of the person in order to make all of this kind of go together. So it's finding a way to make your process on the field match your process off the field, and I think it's. You know, what kind of mindset are you instilling in these kids? In the classroom, at home, with chores, and you know all that kind of stuff. Like you're shaping these kids for what they're going to be when they get to to high school and then what the high school coach is doing into college and so on. So they're kind of matriculating through this timeline of becoming a man and every piece plays a factor into the next one. And I think we've hit the nail on the head many times. It's more than just the uh, the player, it's it's, it's more about the person.
Speaker 2:So yeah, yeah, and I say that like that, it's that I mean that statement in and of itself. Like I say that to like that, the very first practice of the season I always have, like a parent meeting and that's literally the first thing that I say to those parents is like, hey, look, statistically, the outcome that your kid becomes a professional athlete, you know, is less than one percent statistically. That they become a collegiate athlete, maybe a little bit greater, but, like, the desire right now in youth football is not, is not a d1 scholarship, like that's. That's not what we're aiming for here, like you know. But to flip that and say, you know the statistic that they're going to become employees, husbands, friends, bosses, you know, for, like friends, I mean anything they're. They're going to become men, like we've got to be working in still important character, you know, development into to what's happening out here and like, like I said, I'm I'm still big on discipline with them, you know, and it's, it's kind of the, you know, it's funny, like you know. You see, like the videos on facebook and instagram now with it, because, like you see, that it was nick david's philosophy, you see this curvy smarts philosophy now.
Speaker 2:Or you say like, do simple better, right, and he's talking about, like, doing the little things matter, because if you're doing those, then you're going to be doing the more important things. Great, right, and I'm that way too. Like I don't let kids walk on the football field. You know they're 10 years old, tug your jersey in. They're like what I'm like? Tug your jersey in. I've literally grabbed a kid, like, sent him in on a play and his jersey was untucked and I grabbed the tail of his jersey was untucked and I grabbed the tail of his jersey and pulled him back out of the field and I'm like, nope, somebody else is going and they're like wait, what?
Speaker 2:But it's like teaching that stuff at an early age. Right, it matters. My kids know they show up to football practice. When they get there for the first 15 minutes before we actually start practice they're just running receiver routes. It's just to get them loose, get their blood flowing, kind of have, you know, keeps them from screwing around and doing stupid stuff before practice. But like you know, they know they show up like their helmets, get lined up straight on a line. You know and and and I and I explained that to him.
Speaker 2:Like you, you feel like that's me just being ridiculous and being a dictator about a process. But like, what I'm teaching you is how to be disciplined and how to do things well and how to do things right, and those little things will translate down the line. That's not just going to stop at football, that's going to translate into your schoolwork, that's going to translate into your life, where you become a perfectionist and you realize how important it is to do things at a top quality, Because you see the results of that in your life when you start going okay, it's important to do things well and do them right every single time. So you know that's. But spot on what you said. I mean it's it's. It's more than just the outcomes in the process, it is just human development developing them into. And you know specifically, because that's that's what we both coach was was male athletes. But you know, I think the same thing I mean I think we don't know what.
Speaker 1:we don't know when we get into coaching and I look back and I mean my question to you would be it's like when was that aha moment? Like when did that moment come for you? It's like, okay, I'm doing this wrong, I need to switch, or, you know, I kind of need to. Maybe I'm not cut out to coach. Like, did you have that aha moment where you were like man, I need to change and I need to change for these kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I really did. And for me specifically, I think, like mine, was actually probably through, you know, through more of a valley situation than it was through a mountaintop situation. You know, as far as, as far as experiencing what I did, you know we, you know I had coached. I guess at that point that would have been like my fifth year and you know I was there was always that tension. You know the conversations with coaches and, hey, I feel like maybe we're being a little too hard. Ok, yeah, I can kind of see that I'll let off of that. You know we'll, we'll adjust, will adjust. And, um, you know, there was a, there was a season two years ago for me as a coach that, um, you know, I honestly kind of hit my breaking point in a lot of realms all at once. It was, uh, you know I, I had, I had let go of a coach. Um, you know, we, we, just it was constantly you let go of the youth coach.
Speaker 1:Yeah nice, yeah that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, but it was. It was just at the time it felt like it felt like really a toxic relationship within the coaching culture because of what was happening. And you know, in hindsight you know I know that I played a hand in that with our relationship, but ultimately something had to give and the easiest answer was to ask him to step down and step away and they stayed first season. But but, honestly, man, they you know the there was a lot of, there was a lot of tension and a lot of things that were were created in that season where you know parents and families kind of trying to start you know things and drama and rumors and just really trying to. You know, I don't want to say be retaliatory about everything that went down, but you know they definitely weren't happy with me and they made sure that.
Speaker 2:You know everybody else knew about it and tried to. You know, try to get a gang together if you will with it all. And you know and, like I said, I know that I played fault in that. Now you know in reflection that you know in reflection that you know I'm sure that there were things that I did that was wrong and and I think ultimately for that. You know it was. It was a tough season, man. We, like I mean I say tough season like to the point, like on the youth level. This is, this is how crazy things get, you know, like like state senators were getting emails, superintendents were getting emails, athletic directors were getting emails and complaints. I mean, it was just like it was wearing on me, man, emotionally, mentally.
Speaker 1:Like I remember playing youth sports, not doing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we could tell stories, I could tell stories man.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it's a but. But you know, I mean like I remember, I remember one night, you know like, laying in bed and just physically, mentally, emotionally, exhausted, and it took a toll on me, like you know, took a toll on my marriage, you know, with how stressed out I was. I mean, I was constantly like it was like one thing after another. It was like it felt like a phone call or email was coming every 10 minutes about something. It felt like a phone call or email was coming every 10 minutes about something. And you know, I, I remember I remember laying in bed and talking to Kate and being like I I just I don't know that I can do this anymore, I don't know that I want to do this anymore. Like I was just, I was broken man, it just it wore me out and and I remember her like sitting up and looking at me and being like you've forgotten why you're doing this, and I was like what are you talking about?
Speaker 2:And she goes you know you're ignoring your, you're ignoring your why, like why you're doing this you? You never did this for you, you never started doing this for you. You did this for the boys like you did this because you loved coaching and you loved coaching the boys. And I was like golly, yeah, you know. And I realized in that moment too, like when she said that to me, you know it, it kind of it kind of switched like my coaching philosophy.
Speaker 2:In that moment, like thinking about that too, because I remember, I remember thinking you're right, I am doing this for the boys. And then you know, am I doing? Am I doing this for the boys? Am I giving them the best version of myself as a coach? You know, am I doing? Am I doing this for the boys? Am I giving them the best version of myself as a coach? You know, am I coaching them in a way that you know, in a way that they feel like I truly care about them as a coach?
Speaker 2:And I think that that's where that's where it kind of I started revolutionizing my. You know, treat them as people and not as athletes. Treat them, you know, like. You know, I like I tell them now, every day, at the end of practice. I'm like I love you, I'm proud of you and I think it's important at that young age that they know that, because I think they're willing to let you coach in and pour into them.
Speaker 2:But yeah, in that moment I realized I've got to change the way that I'm coaching and I've got to be a better version of of a man for them to you know and be you know and be more understanding of them and be more understanding of their age and not you know and and you know. There's nothing wrong with having expectations right With them and and being upset you know when when they're falling short of those expectations and but I but I think it's important in how you're upset with them and how you're communicating that and not just you know. I mean like every, every little thing that happened. You know, when I, before all this kind of started happening like a kid messed up, I'd turn, beat red and start screaming. I mean that was my instant, like go to, like you know, like lose my mind on it, but that's the football way of doing it.
Speaker 1:that's how everybody it, so you just assume that's how you got to do it.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly, and so that was the way that I did it. I mean, like I'll never forget middle school, I had a coach Coach Tucker was his name, like he was a military guy, and I remember like the saying always was like if Coach Tucker didn't have his hat on when the play was over, don't walk near him on the sidelines, you know like because, because he was, he was about to grab somebody, you know.
Speaker 2:And so you know, and so that was how we, you know, that was how we were coached and so, but yeah, I learned in that, like that that was not an effective way of coaching and and I also learned that, like, obviously, what I was doing and the way that I was doing it was also upsetting parents, to be frank, you know. And and so that that that, for me, was that was really the breaking point and, you know, I realized that. You know, I couldn't let these situations continue to rob me of the joy of why I love doing what I was doing, but I did realize that I needed to be better at doing what I was doing. And that's where, you know, I really started leaning, you know, leaning into people and really talking to, to friends and coaches. And, you know, doing, you know I'm frankly doing self-development stuff and really learning like how to, how to better myself as a person and and learn how to effectively coach better.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, um that yeah, one of the biggest things I'm hearing. Yeah, like it's. It's amazing to me because I everyone always says behind a good coach is a better coach's wife, and you know 100 hailey's. The same way for me. And I know coach burton and his wife amanda. She's the same to him and it sounds like caitlin's that to you. You know it's like people don't know the burdens that we walk.
Speaker 1:We walk around with that, we walk home with and you know, our wives see that and you know, sometimes Haley's personality is like hey, I'm not going to bring it up unless you talk about it, unless I see it like boiling over, like hey, what's going on? And in that moment you brought it up to kate and she was probably like dude, you forgot your why and you're like, well, duh, why didn't I think of that, like you know.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I mean yeah, it is, it is and you know I had a similar moment too and you know, for me, through through my coaching career, it's been a little different as far as, like my roles and responsibilities. When you're a volunteer like you have important work and I recruited, things like that but you're not a like you have important work and I recruited and things like that but you're not a full-time assistant Like the kids aren't like they're going to you, but there's just a different level. When you're a full-time assistant, then you're a volunteer and stuff like that, not in the way that you're viewed. But you know, I don't think I ever reached a burnout moment because the mindset for me has always been, you know, back to my playing days like when things get tough, you have to find a way to get through it. You know, through self realization, through constructive criticism, being able to wear those things and take that feedback. And my second year at Reinhardt back in 2022.
Speaker 1:Um, I don't necessarily think we were going through a rough patch as a team. We may or may not have been, but actually we were, because the only time the players have player led meetings is when, when something's going wrong. So there was, there was a player led meeting and I was like you know what? I'm going to walk in that room and I'm going to see what's going on. And I sat in that room and I there's 40 players in that room and I walked in that room and I said something's off. There's a disconnect between you guys as players and me as coaches. I feel like I see you one way and I want you to be one way, and there's a different way that you guys are seeing me. I said the floor is yours, anything goes. And I stood there in front of 40 players and let them talk. And guys were like I don't think you watch us hit in the cage enough. I don't think you ask me how my day is going. I don't think you. And the list goes on and on.
Speaker 1:I mean none of them were overly negative things, in my opinion. I'd rather see what your game swing is like than your cage swing, because everybody has got to be a cage swing, but to them that mattered.
Speaker 2:That mattered to them.
Speaker 1:From that point on, I made it a point to where I was like I'm going to focus on making contact with as many players throughout a practice every day as I can, and if you've ever been in a college practice, pitchers and position players can be spread out pretty much throughout the entire practice other than some team drills. So during stretch period I always made it a point to go down there and intermingle with the players and you know, sit there and BS, you know, try to hear what they're chit-chatting about with girls and all that kind of stuff. And you know, as I started to do that, I started to see relationship changes with the players. Organically, I was being who I was supposed to be. As everybody that knows me knows, I'm a people person and I want to be around people. It's what I'm good at. I got away from who I was as a person at my core, because I was focused on how do I make this team the best team that they can be? But in doing that I got away from who I was, my why, and I think that was a big moment for me. And from that point on in 22, 23, and 24, my relationship with the players got a whole lot better.
Speaker 1:And I don't know if I didn't decide to walk down and into that indoor and have that conversation with those players, had I had there been, had there been a change on my end and, um, you know, that's not to say I wasn't a bad coach, or was, you know, mother f-ing players and stuff like that. Like something was missing and I needed to know what it was. That way, yeah, I could quote, unquote, get through to them. You know, we say it all the time. They don't care how much you know until you know they know much, how how much you care.
Speaker 1:So, yes, I think that was the, that was the moment for me. And you know, there's I've got players asking me you know hey, can my parents come stay? They're from australia. Can my dad come stay at your house, you know, and watch me play, because travel's expensive, hotels are expensive. Yeah, of course, like I don't, you're getting invited to players' weddings and stuff like that. Like, those are the things that matter to me, those are the things that matter is you know, how can I be who I am and still show up for your kid every day?
Speaker 1:And you know, for me I think you hit on it with Kate and there may be a few more people, but the people in my life that helped me kind of recenter and reconnect to my why are the three probably three of the most important people in my life at the time when I was coaching. Obviously my wife. She knows everything about every player and you know she's heard all the good and the bad and about what's going on. She's heard all the good and the bad about what's going on and you know she's able to take it from. That's what I love about Haley, and probably the same thing with you and Caitlin is like they have a bird's eye view of what's going on and there's no emotion attached to the response that they give you. They just want what's best for you and that's what I appreciate about the feedback I get from Haley the feedback I get from Haley.
Speaker 1:The other ones, jonathan Burton, who the guy that I worked for like there was a lot of times where we sat in the office and I would get constructive criticism back from him. You know, hey, I think you need to do a little more of this and a little more of that, and you know there was times where I would sit there and do the same thing for him and, you know, I think that's what made our relationship so special and our friendship so deep is like we could have those tough conversations about players and philosophies within coaching or how we're handling things, and you know, we could hug each other and things are the same at practice in 20 minutes, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then the other one you know is my buddy, mike Mendoza. I'm unbelievably thankful for mike. I mean, when I say we pretty much talked every day on the way to the office for eight years. We talked every day on the way to the office for eight years and I knew things about the programs that he coached. He knew things about the programs that I coached. It was like, how are you dealing with this, how are you dealing with that? And like, if you don't have those people in your life, coaching is a whole lot tougher than it really is because you're trying to figure out those things on your own. So I think it's, you know, along with those three, and then a lot of reflection and prayer and you know asking Lord for guidance and how do I handle these situations? Like those are the things that you know kind of got me through those moments where those people and you know my faith.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, a thousand percent people. And you know my faith, yeah, no, a thousand percent. It's funny not funny like haha, funny, but like ironic that you say that about like your faith. Because, like, I remember that season, I remember that season going in. That was actually the year that kind of had my breaking point. That was. That was also my my first season as as taking over the director role. I had been the assistant director for for North for a couple years but took over the director role. I had been the assistant director for for north for a couple years but took over the director role.
Speaker 2:And I remember thinking at the beginning of the season, like I want to figure out how, you know, how I can, you know, instill, you know like new routines, new, you know new things and all with the program. But also like, more importantly, like I want to figure out how we can you know how we can spiritually influence these kids. You know, in a way, that you know that that we're allowed I mean, fortunately we're not like employees, so we're allowed to say God and pray and things like that. And it's not. It's not like a conflict of interest, but like I was like how do we do that and things like that. And it's not, it's not like a conflict of interest, but like I was like how do we do that? And like one of the very first things I remember thinking to do was um was actually having Mike Lynch come out and and we started, uh, started uh like a season kickoff prayer and so, like the, the week of our first game, we'd get all the cheerleaders together and all the, all the football players together and coaches and um football players together and coaches and um, you know mike would come, you know five, ten minute message, you know, with them and just kind of share and then and then would just pray over the kids. And it's like it's my absolute favorite tradition that I've brought to north for the youth program, that that he's done, that he's done in the last two seasons now and comes and speaks and prays and prays over them.
Speaker 2:But you know, at the time my, my thought was that, like you know, I want to, I want to come in and spiritually change this program in a way and you know and try to try to, you know, glorify the Lord in it.
Speaker 2:But what I didn't realize at the moment when I made that commitment and made that decision was that God was really going to step in and change me first and I wasn't expecting that, you know, and I wasn't expecting, going through that trial, that that was.
Speaker 2:That was what you know, that that was what he was going to do. And like I, looking back on it now, like I'm grateful for it, but like I think that he, he was forcing me, you know he was, he was forcing me to humble myself, you know, and I and I was very humbled in a lot of the circumstances that happened, because you know I can, I can blame other people for for the things of people getting frustrated and upset with me and things that I did and made a decision as a, as a coach and a director, but but ultimately, like I played a hand at that, you know, and and there was a reason they were upset with it, but, you know, god really humbled me through that, through those circumstances, those situations, to the point where it was, like you know, I've got to be a better version of a man and as a father and as a dad, and that's what's more important at that moment.
Speaker 2:And so you know that. You know that. You know, in looking at that, like too, that's you know important. Because I don't think you know that, like, too, that's, you know, important because I don't think you know again to to talk coach on a spiritual level, like as a coach on a spiritual level, I don't think that I was representing the lord in the best way possible. You know, as, as coaching, the way that I was, you know what I mean like you can't I, you know you, you, you can't demonstrate that. Like, oh, you know that god loves you, and you know, and say that to a kid and then scream and lose your mind. Oh, you know that God loves you, and you know, and say that to a kid and then scream and lose your mind on them, you know immediately and just absolutely get so upset and frustrated with them. You know that's not lining up for a kid. And so that was a big thing for me.
Speaker 2:And, looking back, like I'm grateful that I went through that situation because of that, because I think now I have the ability to influence these, these kids, in such a positive manner in in that way too, you know, and that's, that's something that you know, that I say to a lot of my coaches. I'm like, sometimes, like you have to realize that, like you may be the only version of jesus that some of these kids ever see. You know, and and if, if we're not thinking about that through a coaching perspective, do I, do I make mistakes? Absolutely? I've lost my mind on referees, I've lost my mind on coaches still, in those moments, because I'm human, but but, but that you know, I think that that was a lot of the reason why I went through what I went through. Now, you know, and it did change me and I'm grateful for it. Um, but, yeah, that's, you know, know, that's huge.
Speaker 2:What you're saying about having people to influence, you know, and having people to talk to, because, yeah, caitlin for me was one. You know, my buddy, he's actually my boss, zorn. I remember that season going through and like we would have a 10 minute work call and a 30 minute. Like, hey, dude, I just need to talk to you about stuff. And like, like, hey, dude, I just need to talk to you about stuff.
Speaker 2:And like, yeah, you know he he's so wise and such a humble guy. You know he, he's, he's one of my best friends and you know, being able to have him and go through that and help you know, I think he was, you know, I think he was the voice of reason that I really needed to hear a lot in in going through that process and it made me a better coach. And you know, he, he, he was a straight shooter. You know, it wasn't like in my corner to just be like, yeah, it's all their fault. Like you know, he was willing to be like hey, I think that you know, I think that you, you play at fault in this too and, like in the moment, you don't want anybody to tell you that that, like you know, you're the one you're to grow in the way that I needed to.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I've mentioned this in the past or I was talking to somebody about it. I'm on that. Coaches and scouts call that Mike Lynch hosts every Monday. It's a great call. Clint Hurdle's on there. Clint said something.
Speaker 1:Someone asked him a question one Monday morning. They said if you could go back and do one thing different as a major league manager, what would you do? And it was along the lines we were going through the series of talking about. You know the people in our lives and, um, we were specifically talking about profits, and profits is they're known as truth tellers. So Clint's response was the first person I would hire is a prophet, like a truth teller, someone that would tell me the truth. Because when I got to that position of power as a manager, I felt like everybody was telling me what I wanted to hear, and that was the worst thing for me. And you know I think about it. It's like every coach kind of has that like very rarely do you have someone that can come up to you and be like, hey, man, you're at fault for that. Or like, hey, why'd you handle that situation like that? That's totally not who you are like.
Speaker 1:Those are the people that we need in our lives, so I thought that was very interesting that one thing for a major league manager is like imagine just having a I picture like a little prophet like on your shoulder, like that's the first person you you hire, like hey, man, you should have done that. Or like hey, you should have trep the front office staff, like that. Like that's kind of what I saw in my head. But we need those things, like we need someone to level with us because we really are in that highest position within an organization or coaching staff or something like that. So having that quote unquote profit or truth teller is big.
Speaker 2:And so you know those kind of the turning points for us as far as coaching and and kind of how we were, you know, had those like, okay, we need to fix these, we need to address these things. But like what? Like what are, what are some adjustments that you, as a coach, you know, I know you talked about like the personal connections and stuff with that, but like what are, what are some?
Speaker 1:adjustments that, like you, found to be super key and important, with changing, after having those conversations, those things. But I think the next thing that I kind of had to readjust was how did I balance structure and accountability with encouragement and connection? Because I think those, those two, that's where you kind of have to walk the fine line. In my opinion, and for me I kind of hit on this a little earlier the fundamental, the message, doesn't change. The delivery is what needs to change.
Speaker 1:So for me, you have to be aware of what setting am I in. Am I able to call this player out in a group or do I need to do it in a one-on-one? Something that I always tried to do, whether it was on the field or off, is when I was having a conversation with the player, I would try to put my hand on their back, my hand on their shoulder, something, so they knew there was some sort of personal touch, that it wasn't just like me jumping on them or something like that. You know the other thing I got this from ABCA, which is America's Baseball Coaches Association.
Speaker 1:There's a rookie coaches seminar that the coach at Georgia, gwinnett, made us go to. His old head coach taught it and I don't know if anyone else took this away, but the one thing that I heard him say is he said don't wear sunglasses.
Speaker 2:And I was like what, like, what?
Speaker 1:like we're in the sun all day, like everyone wears sunglasses and he said if you're gonna wear sunglasses, you're gonna talk to a player. You lower those sunglasses so they can look in your eyes. And I was like, wow, that's pretty powerful.
Speaker 1:So anytime like I, anytime I was wearing sunglasses on the field and I would have a conversation with the player, I would pull them down so they could see my eyes. If they can't see facial expressions, it's a little bit tougher for them. So you know, I think, along with those, you have to understand what the player is going to respond to in order to get through to them, because they're all going to respond differently and you know, I.
Speaker 1:I think there are moments where people need to be chewed in a group setting, but I think it needs to be followed up in a one-on-one setting. So I made sure that there was ever a time I got on a player in a group setting, I pulled that player aside and had a one-on-one with him. So he knew like hey, you know this was a moment where you screwed up in front of the team or whatever. But I just want you to know like I see something bigger in you. I'm calling you out because I know you can handle it and you know a lot of the time let's be real.
Speaker 1:We're not calling out the players that you know have five at-bats for us or are playing the minimum amount of plays. Like we're calling out the best players because those are the ones that need to be made examples of. And I think when you can have those tough conversations with those good players, it kind of it kind of changes your relationship and the other players see it too and they're like well, that's kind of how he does with me or you know, he, he, he's starting to handle these situations differently, some of the things I mean just that I had to, I had to kind of work through is like how do I keep my message the same but change the delivery?
Speaker 2:and I think it kind of plays into those, into the setting and things like that yeah, the it's one of my favorite quotes and like I I send it, I send it to my football coaches a handful of times during the season, like, but like one one of my favorite quotes, that that it's.
Speaker 2:It's quoted by Bruce Arian saying it, but, like you know, supposedly he wasn't the first one that came up with it, but like him saying, coach them hard and hug them later. Like I think that's important to find that balance because you know, and it is they, you do have to have that level of holding them to a standard, because I think I've experienced both sides of it as a coach. I coach hard, but Harlow's also been a part of teams where the coaching is too lax and there is no standard and there is no expectation of it. Granted, this is the youth level, but like, but you see, what happens is just like it's a, it's a collapse. You know, and you, you have to have those players that that are the standard and set the standard, and and you, you as a coach, hold those kids to the standard because they're the leaders and if the leaders are being held to that standard, everybody else just kind of follows suit you know, to that standard and you know it's.
Speaker 2:It's important with that. But talking about, like you know, losing like losing like you're, you're not necessarily losing you calling a kid out in person, I think it is important to make sure that you're doing that in the right setting. I don't think there's anything wrong with calling a kid out in front of the team, but like I know, like for a couple tournaments ago, I feel like maybe I texted you about it after it happened, but like it was the parents that was chewing his kid out from the other team.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so like it was uncomfortable for me.
Speaker 1:You weren't even on that team.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for me to like you know, you don't even know that's a lot. Yeah for me to be uncomfortable, but it was, uh, you know, like he you know the kid was pitching had an incredible day on the mound. Like the kid was, you know, phenomenal, and they ended up pulling him off off the mound to put him over on first base. Like I remember, the coach, you know, told him to come off the mound and like, stood at the third baseline and like the kid just kind of not disrespectfully, kind of tossed his glove over to the coach, like they all do, every kid tosses their glove.
Speaker 2:And the coach just threw it right back at his feet and was like, pick that up and walk it over here. And, mind you, this is in the middle of the game. So our team, their team, all the parents were all witnessing this. So that happens then. So he picks the glove up, hands it over to the coach and it could have been the kid's dad.
Speaker 2:I, I don't know, you know I didn't ask and I, you know, there's no judgment here in this situation like I, you know, we're all human here but like I remember that happening and seeing that I was like dang and then literally not like two plays later, all of a sudden he's, he's sitting on the bucket and he's like I want all of you to watch.
Speaker 2:Let's call him Johnny, I don't remember the kid's name. Watch, johnny. He's the only one not prep stepping right now, the rest of your prep stepping. He's about to make an error and a mistake and it's gonna be his like just humiliating the kid. And I'm like I, I felt bad for the kid, like if it was my kid, I coach and I would be having a meeting like as soon as that game's over. But, like you know, I, I think about that like now and I'm uncomfortable, but like I have to be real and honest with myself and have grace for the guy because like I was that guy at one point and you know, I remember screaming at a kid get off my field at one point in time, and, and you know, and, and at the time I was like whatever about it.
Speaker 2:I was justified, as it is a coach, you know. But like I'm looking back on it now and I'm like, dude, I did the same thing, you know, and and, and I guess seeing that happen now is just such a reminder, like you know, especially at like that young level of like the kids being at that age, like they're so fragile, like emotionally. You know, kids are, kids are so fragile and you can easily you know, you can easily destroy the love of a game and the love of a sport for them by treating them like that. And it's important that, that you know it's important to be hard on kids. Don't get me wrong like I you know my football players will tell you like I'm tough, there is an expectation and a standard to be met. But like, yeah, that humiliating that kid, like that man, I was just like golly, like it was uncomfortable and to the latter of that, like what I'll say is like like something that you know, talking about a personal touch, I didn't actually know this until you know, until this weekend.
Speaker 2:Some friends of ours they have a, their son plays over at East Cobb and they played right after a Saturday and I was like I'm going to stick around, I want to watch them and just to support the kids. Two of them play on my football team and you know, and we stuck around and watched the game. After our games I saw the coach. Every kid walked up to this one coach. He fit the vibe check man. He had the swag. Every single kid walked up to him and high-fived him and had a different high-five.
Speaker 2:And a friend of mine told me yesterday about it that he has a different handshake with every single one of those kids.
Speaker 2:And to me that's so cool to create that level of personal connection with each of those kids and like to think about, like what, what that does for those kids you know for them to be, you know to feel that personal connection with him as a coach and like how probably willing they are to hear him like coach, hard, right and and they probably allow him the opportunity to be hard on them because they know that he cares about them and I and I and I think that that's what's important and I think that that's, you know, for me, like as a coach, like I, I don't I'll have handshakes because, granted, like coaching 28 kids versus, you know, 12, there's no way I could make up 28 different handshakes.
Speaker 2:But, like, like my football players, like during warm-ups, I make sure to like walk down the line you know, and walk down every you know. There's five different lines and I make sure to walk down every single line and high five every single one of those kids, because that may be the one chance that I get a personal connection with those kids that day but like yeah, for sure I.
Speaker 2:I don't want any of those kids to feel like they're not important to me. You know I may not coach them directly in a position, but like I shake their hands, I ask them what's up? I see they're doing how their day was like. Just to talk to them, even for a brief five seconds, because I want them to know that, like as their coach, they matter to me and I think that that's, I think that's ultimately what it boils down to. A lot for us as coaches is to is, like you said, I mean you, you, you, you hit it right on as like having that personal connection and being in their life and making them feel like they're involved.
Speaker 2:I think, especially, you know, I don't even think it is just the youth level I think, you know, I think, making sure that those kids know that, like you said, if they know that you care, they're willing to allow you to be hard on them and they're willing to allow you to coach them. You know, because they're not just constantly hearing negative, negative, negative. They know that there's a care behind. You know, because they're not just constantly hearing negative, negative, negative. They know that there's there, there's a care behind. You know that and and there's a care behind, like your development approach with them. So I, you know, I I think it's it's so important to make sure that that kind of along those lines too, kind of along those lines too with you.
Speaker 1:So some of the player stuff, like I think you have to find ways during competition to kind of have those moments with the players of like, hey, man, like I'm still here for you, you know, like I'm on your team. Yeah, I think back to one of one of the best players that I'll ever play at. Reinhardt's name is nash kroll, and I'll never forget in 2022. Man and this kid he's a great hitter. I mean, he's gonna break the home run record. Like this kid couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat and I'll never forget I was.
Speaker 1:I was standing there at third base and we had been in the cage. He had been in my office, like we had done literally everything, chris, and I was like there's nothing more that I can do. And you know they step in the box, they look down at third base and I just went like this like hey, man, I love you, bro. I don't know what else to say, but I love you. Well, he hit a home run, that at bat and when he was rounding third base, I went like this and he finished it. So every time he would hit a home run. After that we would just do the heart and he would close it and, like we, I had certain handshakes with certain players, but I think those are just. That's just another way of like we're in competition, but I'm here for the person. You know what I mean. So yeah.
Speaker 1:I think it's great to have have those things and like a lot of people hate celebrations and stuff like that on home runs around third base with the coach, but like that's your chance to level with the player. Man Like no, man like no one knows, why you're doing those things like.
Speaker 1:No one knows why I do that with nash, like, and no one needs to know you know. So I just think making those things you know kind of the norm to to remind these kids. Hey, it's a game like yeah, I've got a cool handshake with all my players, that's cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've got some funny handshakes too with some of the pictures, like that's it is what it is, but, like that's, those are just small ways of showing kids that you really care and, at the end of the day, I think that's really all that matters, like when they know you care, they're, they're going to show up and they're going to run through a brick wall for you.
Speaker 2:So a lot of good stuff, a lot of good stuff, no that that, that statement, I think I feel like we get in it on that, like if they know that you care, they'll run through a brick wall for you. I think that that's. I think that's spot on and an important level of making sure that you are coaching, like you know, put your arm around a kid every now and then tell them that you love them. You know it is, it's important, like you know it is important to be hard it those standards, but like again, remembering that they're humans, you know, and and remembering that you know that they need that love and support to you know, at regardless of what age it is. You know they, they need to know that there is that level of care so, yeah, I mean that's that's important.
Speaker 2:So, um, my, my biggest feedback man, I, you know, I think, with any, with any coach, you know, regardless of what level you're at, you know, I think that that's important. It's important to continue to grow right. It's important to continue to to, to be humble, to be honest with yourself, to, you know, to to sit back and and and realize, like we don't all have it figured out a hundred percent right, like we're not, you know, nobody's, no, nobody's batting a thousand at the, at the human life as it is day-to-day, we make mistakes. So it's like that doesn't transition any different over to our coaching approach and our coaching abilities. We're going to make mistakes, we're going to have bad days. I mean it's the same thing that I tell my kids. I tell my kids kids when I'm coaching, I'm like it's okay, you had a bad day, like you know we're. We're human and I think it's important that we have accountability with ourselves about that too.
Speaker 1:And like yeah, you know realizing that, like we can't expect the kids to change and us not change ourselves like that's actually moronic, you know, like we can't expect, and that's the other thing, too like it's something that we kind of have a hit on is like I would as a coach, you should never expect a player to do something that you wouldn't do, and for me that goes to field work like I would grab a rake and do a player's job. I'd grab the hose and do a player's job, but like I always go back to mike, like in the dugouts at allatuna, like he always walks out and grabs the bat and I'm like why did you do that? Because this is my way of serving the player. Like if he can do that, why can't I go grab a rake or tamp them out or, you know, help guys with this. That and the other Like I think that's also something big too is like and I would tell guys like I'm never going to expect you to do something that I wouldn't do myself.
Speaker 2:And you know, I think.
Speaker 1:I think those are just big things for coaches that you know we kind of don't think about. I didn't think about them until six, seven, eight years into my coaching career. So I think the sooner you can kind of learn those things with with your kids at whatever level you know, I think it goes a long way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I, I totally agree, man, I, I totally agree. I think, uh, you know, another thing I got. I would encourage any, any coach to to remember, you know, if they, if they are struggling with these same issues or are realizing like, hey, what I'm doing is not working, is like, remember your why, remember why you're doing this. Like you know you, you've got it. You've got to always, you know, refocus back to that. You know, in the, in the times where things are frustrating or the times that you feel like things aren't necessarily working, you know, remember why you're doing it. Don't don't just give up on it to give up on it. You know it's it's important to to to know why you're doing it and then fix it right. And then, and you know, own up and and fix it and um, and then, and you know, own up and and fix it and um, you know, I think building a support system is huge too. You know, we talked about that a little bit, about how we both have support systems.
Speaker 2:But, like you know, I, we've got a group of friends that they're all, they're all. Most of them are all my coaches. Actually, they're all my coaches. Yeah, for football.
Speaker 2:But, like you know we, you know we, you know we do like what we call family dinner, where, like we'll, we'll once a month try to get together and just sit down at the dinner table in the mexican restaurant and sing karaoke together and you know I just have fun. But like but that that's so important because, like you know that as far as like it can be lonely at the top, you know with with, with any, with any role, as far as being a coach and sometimes it is a little isolating because you do, I think it's probably different you know for you, like on the college level, but you know, unfortunately, in youth sports, you know, there there always tends to be that like you have to be careful with who you trust, because it feels like sometimes with relationships people are are purposely trying to have a friendship with you, to be manipulative and they're hoping that, you know, brother, by being your friend, you know, oh well, johnny could be the quarterback, because I'm best friends with chris.
Speaker 2:And it's like, dude, my kid played freaking offensive line last season because that's what the team needed and like, yeah, you know I so. So like, if I'm gonna put my kid on the line and not you, and not put him where I just want him to be, like I'm not going to do that any different with any other kid.
Speaker 2:And so like having that support system of people who, like they know, like what you're going through and know what you're dealing with, you know and and you know have, you know, have that camaraderie and have that group of support system that can just be understanding and you don't feel like you have to be on guard is huge. It's important to have that and to have you as a coach. A lot of times you feel like you're constantly pouring into people and it's important to have those people that are willing to pour back into you, sometimes by just being there. It doesn't mean that they're, you know, giving you wisdom or saying anything, but like sometimes just having a good time and laughing together, like that, just you know it can, it can lift your spirits and fill you up, and so it's important to have that support system for sure I think the big thing about the support system is and I put this down because I didn't want to forget it is it's the same in our faith, it's the same for our faith, it should be the same in our coaching.
Speaker 1:You need someone ahead of you that can mentor you. You need someone that's alongside of you in the journey that you're on, and then you need to be able to pour into someone you know, a young coach or whatever. And you know, I think if you can kind of take that line of quote unquote, take that line of quote unquote accountability and have those people and, um, you know in your life that are mentoring you, you're going through the same season of life with coaching. Like, I can't tell you how many times I've talked to Casey Lynch about coaching things and stuff like that, and we've we've gone back and forth and those are the things that make me a better coach is those, those people that I have in my life that have come before me or are doing it with me, and the ones that are going to come behind us. Those are the big things.
Speaker 1:As coaches, sometimes you have to go find those people, man. Those don't just organically happen. Sometimes they do, but for me it's funny. I would say kind of one of my mentors in really everything, a guy named Tim Cox. I was introduced to him from a friend of a friend that I used to work with at Southeastern. He's like hey, I think you get along with this guy. He lives up in Moleska six months out of the year. Lo and behold, we get together for coffee one morning and it's an every once a week thing. On Fridays we were grabbing coffee. I think those things just you have to put a little bit of effort into finding those people. But when you do do that, it'll, it'll, it'll be for the better for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, most definitely, Most definitely. No, I totally agree, man. Well, yeah, I, dude, I I think. I think this is this is such a such huge, important episode that we talked about, and I'm sure that there's 10 other things that we probably could have understands that, like you and I both, you know have gone through journeys where we realize, like what we're doing may not be the most efficient process, right, the most efficient way of coaching and learning, and hearing how, like, we both chose to adjust and adapt and work through that is huge. So, hopefully, you know this encourages somebody and they hear, you know from us and you know, learn from it, take notes from it. You know, maybe, maybe, can message us and tell us how they, how they could have, even they did it even better than what we did, and you know that that would be cool to hear too. So, yeah, man, you have any other? Any other things? We want to make sure we hit on with this.
Speaker 1:No, I think that's good. I know it's monday night at 10 25, so the braves are on the east coast and it's already looking bad brother in the bottom of the first, I'm not looking at the score? I'm not looking at, I'm just going to bed. It's the dodgers. So did you see those players?
Speaker 2:yeah, did you see that? Uh, supposedly they're. Uh, they're talking about bringing the, uh, those torpedo bats that a couple of the Braves players are interested in and starting to use them now too.
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, don't get me started on this. I didn't know if it was a joke and, like on Twitter, it was like one of those potential like spam things. I'm like no, this is actually real yeah, no, I suppose.
Speaker 1:I think this is a good episode. I mean, um, I'm always encouraged to listen to you because I've got a kid that I know is going to be in the same boat and I'm glad I got a little bit of coaching experience under my belt to hopefully write the shit. But I'm I'm looking forward to those days but at the same time, like you, gotta be on guard. So I think, yeah, it's you know and I it's.
Speaker 2:It's funny that you say that, like, learn from me, because, like I wish, when I started I knew what I knew. Now you know what I mean and we all do. I was actually, I was actually just talking to a friend of mine today, you know, and I was saying, you know, we, somehow we got on the topic. He was asking how baseball was going and I was talking to him about that and you know, he was saying, like you know, talking about youth sports, and he was like, and I just I don't know if I can coach my own kid. I just I feel like I'll be too hard on him and I was like, dude, I was, you know, and I and I was too hard on my own and you know I'm I'm thankful that uh, you know, I have rigs. You know the next chapter of, uh, of coaching kids. And you know I'm thankful that I've learned the lessons you know that I have, that I get the opportunity to do it again and hopefully do it a lot better. This go around, you know, and I'm thankful that I made the adjustments I did while I still had the opportunity. You know, like you know, I love these boys that I'm coaching now and you know I'm excited. You know this is our last football season together before they moved to middle school football and, um, you know it's, it's going to be a bittersweet season for me.
Speaker 2:Man like I, there's, I think, eight, eight kids that you know the I'll hand them. You know the program does what they call an iron man trophy. Um, it's, it's a war just to acknowledge any kid who's played for five years in the youth program. And I think I've got eight, and it's they have to have played for for all five consecutive years. But, like you know, it's, it's. You know I think I got like eight kids that I'm gonna hand that award to.
Speaker 2:You know it's, it's, it's gonna be tough, man, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm already like getting a little emotional about it all, like knowing that this chapter's coming to the end. And, uh, yeah, you know I'm, like I said, I'm thankful that I did make the adjustments that I needed to make. You know, before it was way too late with a lot of them. You know, and, like I said, I know, unfortunately, that there are a lot of kids that aren't playing. That you know it's because of me. And you know, and I hate to think about that to this day. But I think the biggest thing is is is learning, adjusting and correcting man and just just like, like you said, we can't expect our kids to develop and be better if we're not going to do it ourselves. And you know that's, that's the most important thing.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I think the last, the kind of the closing thought that I have, along with what you said, is you never know what you're going to say, how you're going to say it and who you're going to say it to. That could impact them for the right purpose or the wrong purpose. I think if we can kind of coach with those thoughts in mind, we can adjust our north to what it wants to be and keep that north going in the right direction yeah, 100%, man, 100%.
Speaker 2:Well, cool deal, man. I'll let you catch the Braves. I'm going to go to bed. I'm not watching it. I'm not watching it. I've been disappointed way too much. I'll let them fight this one out on their own, but I appreciate you getting on, man. I think this one's going to be huge and really encouraging to a lot of people. So until next time, we will uh, we'll see everybody later on. Bye.
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