The Guilt Trap: Why Top Agents Can’t Step Back

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The Guilt Trap: Why Top Agents Can’t Step Back

A lot of agents think they’ve built a business.

But if we’re being honest most of the time we’ve just built a better job.

I’ve seen agents doing 50, 80, even 100 transactions a year who still feel trapped.

They can’t take time off. Every decision runs through them. Every problem lands on their desk.

More volume didn’t give them more freedom.
It just made the hamster wheel spin faster.

In this episode, we talk about a trap that a lot of high-producing agents fall into the accidental CEO problem.

We cover things like:
• Why more deals doesn’t automatically create freedom
 • The dangerous belief that volume equals leverage
 • How hiring people without systems actually creates more problems
 • The identity trap where your self-worth gets tied to closings
 • Why many team leaders feel exhausted even when income is high
 • What simple systems and checklists can actually look like
 • How to shift from producer to architect in your business
 • And why you need a multi-dimensional scorecard for life and business

If you’re a high-producing agent who feels stuck in production, constantly 
firefighting, and unable to step away…

This episode might hit a little close to home.

But sometimes those are the conversations that change everything.

Chapters:
0:00 Did you build a business… or just a better job?
 0:23 The hamster wheel most agents get trapped in
 0:45 The top agent who never took a vacation in 15 years
 2:00 The volume lie: more deals ≠ more freedom
 2:40 Why hiring without systems creates chaos
 3:15 The accidental CEO problem
 3:25 The identity trap for top agents
 4:00 What systems actually look like (simpler than you think)
 5:20 Using AI to build simple SOPs
 6:00 The multi-dimensional life scorecard
 7:00 Why entrepreneurs measure the wrong things
 8:10 The shortcut trap in real estate teams
 9:20 Moving from producer to architect
 10:10 Who this episode is really for

#RealEstateUntucked #Untucked #TeamLeaderLife #LeadershipReality #BusinessGrowth #HighPerformance #EntrepreneurLife


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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Did you build a better job or are you actually building a business? I think most people think that they built a business, but they didn't. They actually just built a better job.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

I think that's one of those episodes that like think if you really take this in and think about it, it's gonna burn for a couple days. More volume, how to learn it's the hard way, does not mean more freedom.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

Did you build a better job or are you actually building a business? I think most people think that they built a business, but they didn't. They actually just built a better job. Like most of our clients that reach out to us because they're they're just they're just trying to run faster on the on the hamster wheel, right? And they wonder why their feet keep getting caught in the wheel. But if you're doing 50, 80, 100 transactions a deal a year and you can't, I mean, this blow brace around this guy called me. This is several years ago when we started working together. He was the top agent basically in his state. And through our conversation, he confessed to me, and it was like a confessional, right? Right, and he's like, I have not taken a vacation in 15 years. And I was like, Oh, that's funny. He's like, no, really. He's I'm like, what? He's like, I have not taken a week off in 15 years. And I was like, Why the hell are you doing this? Like, why it, why the hell are you working so hard not doing it? But that's exactly what what we get trapped into. So I think we want to talk about this. How to help people recognize the problem and then what do you do? And I think it goes back to why did you start your business? And if you started it for freedom and fulfillment and to have some flexibility and you're not getting that, let's let's go back a little bit and and and give some tools on how you can actually make it happen.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Yeah, and I think this is one of those episodes that like it's good. If you think, if you really take this in and think about it, it's gonna burn for a couple days. Like you're gonna be like, oh, these guys are full of shit. I don't get it, I don't agree. Like, I don't need vacations. And then it's gonna dawn on you when you start seeing your kids look at you different and you start seeing your wife like doing things without you, and you're like, hold on, am I not allowed to go to Florida too? Like that stuff, it comes up, it's gonna burn. Yeah, take this one to heart. So, yeah, let's talk about it. Let's let's recognize the problem. I think that's what it starts with recognizing the problem, right? And like I was saying, it's gonna be uncomfortable. And here's the thing more volume, how to learn it's the hard way, does not mean more freedom. Like, um you feel like your life is successful, you feel like your team is producing, you know your income is high, but like most of the people that feel this way, like they're exhausted. They're stuck, they look beat to hell. It's kind of like they look like the president after the first four years. You're just you went from like bright-eyed and bubbly to like, man, just walking dead.

SPEAKER_02 2:26

Um you hire a bunch of people, you start a team, then all of a sudden it's like wall-to-wall meetings. Every time you hire somebody, it's like, oh, now I got more problems to solve. You've stacked a bunch of responsibilities on your already big workload. And and I think that nobody doesn't warn you that hiring what hiring without systems and processes doesn't free you. It just gets you more trapped, right? Like every time you bring somebody on, it's one more chair to worry about. It's one more inbox to take care of, it's one more person that's got questions, it's one more person to invite to the holiday party. Like it's I'm not saying it's bad, but like it get it gets it gets to be an issue real quick.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Well, good news is you're gonna be the best employee of the year you've got. So, you know, you'll win something out of this one. You know, it also leads into the other thought process of like people that have backed into it a little bit where like they got successful and now they're like the accidental CEO. And we've talked about it a couple different times, but like I think what people need to realize is how it happens. And here's the other thought process people need to put through their brains is they get caught up in the identity trap and the volume lie, right? They believe that like, and it's super dangerous, guys. Like, be wary of this that more deals equals more freedom, more deals equals more money, more volume means more leverage, more more it doesn't always unless you have the systems. And I wanna bet these people are tired of hearing us say systems. Um I bet they're but like I can guarantee.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Let's stop just for a second. Like, a system could be as simple as when someone joins a team, here's the 14 things we do. It could be a checklist, like you order business cards, and then you do this. Like, system doesn't always necessarily mean to be your wiring rocket. Sometimes the system is just like when I show a house, here's the four things you do. Like, so I think as we use that word system, and that's what P and P will kind of get lost in it. It's literally, it could be as simple as like, here is the checklist, right? And so I think some of them are complicated, but it's not always this way big complicated thing. It could be just like, here's a checklist on how to do this thing.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

Well, uh it made me think of a thing I did this morning, right? So I've got uh an assistant that checks my inbox, which that's a whole different conversation. And I haven't liked how it's been going, right? I mean, she's done nothing wrong, she's followed the plan, and I was like, this is the best I got, and it's not working. If you don't pay for a premium version of some AI right now, like for 30 bucks a month, dude, I put that in there, said this is what's not working. Here's what I'm using. And it gave me back four options that I was like, these are brilliant. And then guess what it said at the bottom? Would you like me to make this into a one-page SOP so they can follow it? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

What were the options, by the way? What are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 4:57

Uh, just labels, right? So, like just little labels. Do I need to see it today? Can they delegate it? I give her authority of what she can and can't do. There's a check-in process. It's all AI putting it together for me, but I got to tweak it and it's great. And it solved the problem. I've been re- I've I've hated it for the last three months. So, guys, don't work harder. Use AI as well, but that's a whole different thing.

SPEAKER_02 5:18

Yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

And the other thing I want to talk about with the identity trap is, and guys, I am going through this kind of right now that my identity is directly equal to the number of closings I get. I am successful if I have this many closings.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Closings, yes, yes, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

And guys, I'm gonna tell you that's a therapy issue. That's not for this podcast, although we've had enough therapy to kind of fill up a stadium. At the same time, like you've you've got to figure that out. Your process, your systems, and your quality is your identity, not the volume you're doing. I I could argue you could do less deals, but perfectly and be better.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

And I'll I'll go there for one sec. Here's what's helped me, and I think I can do better at this.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Hey, really quick, you know how YouTube works. Like and subscribe so we know this is working and it keeps pushing the content out.

SPEAKER_00 6:05

Yeah, this is what we do as a passion project. Wayne got his own coaching, I got my real estate, but we've come together because we want y'all to learn from all our scars and mistakes. So that like and subscribe means the world to us because it means you care and it means we can keep giving, and also it makes us look cool with my mom. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

But a multidimensional scorecard. So what one scorecard is like, how many agents did I have? How many deals do we have? Cool. Another part of the scorecard is what was my profitability? Are we up 2% from last year, right? That's great. And another part of the scorecard is like, how present was I? How many nights did I have where I didn't have to answer my phone? How many weekends we had with this? Like, how my relationship. So I what I would challenge most people to do is most of us get caught in this trap and we'll just go to therapy for a second. Is a lot of entrepreneurs they start doing, and I've done this, like we measure ourselves on one aspect of our life, and usually it's work or usually it's business. We're like, that's the one scorecard we look at, or it's or it's our our income, whatever's, and I would challenge most of us to have a more multidimensional scorecard. I'm gonna rate myself on a scale of one to ten on these eight areas and and and have a collective life happiness score or whatever you want. Like, am I getting better at these collectively? Because I if I got a 10 over here, but I got a one over here, like that's not cool. And I'd rather so I think a multidimensional rating and then going and ask yourself, like, where am I getting my significance? Am I getting my significance because I got a trophy from some company that spent$8 on Timu and sent me a trophy?

SPEAKER_00 7:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Or is my trophy how many soccer games I didn't miss? Is my trophy how many things I stu I have a list of 30 things I don't do that I used to do, right? Like, what is that? And I think it's important to have a scorecard, but have a different leveled up scorecard.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

Yeah, and if you want to learn more about scorecard stuff, obviously we go in depth on that stuff, especially E45. But also, um, you must have read that book or you wrote the book. I don't know, but like that five different types of wealth that I'm reading right now, it literally has like the dimensional scorecard. It has the questions. Yeah. And you can see like where you're not a perfect circle, and it's mine's kind of like a star, you know? Not that yeah. All right, so let's let's leave church. Let's go back to YouTube.

SPEAKER_02 8:09

Okay, there we go.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

So I think the fourth talking point we need to bring up is the shortcut trap, which we did a whole video on that earlier. But like inside of this, there's there's a couple of different shortcuts you need to like not rely on, right? So obviously, shortcut one that you shouldn't do is relying on volume instead of strategy. Like, don't do that. Don't just get close the deals because they're in front of you. Take the time to do that. And we've we've got that more in the video we talked about. Two, delegating tasks without the systems. You touched on that earlier. You can give people a task list for hell, but if they don't have a system with what's next or what happens if something goes sideways, that is what you're looking for. Delegating's great, but delegating with a system, perfect. Because then it'll be done the way you want to get done. The third one I think they should stay away from is what's the word we like to use? Instant gratification? Yeah. Chasing quick wins instead of building infrastructure.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We we got this whole new development. We got this builder that we're coming on with. We're gonna have 300 closings this year, but you don't have a welcome packet, walkthrough checklist, none of that stuff. You're not gonna have that builder very long. So don't go after the quick wins. Take the time to build the infrastructure.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Um and that's that's the transition we want everyone to do, right? Go from I mean, you and I are working on this. I'm you're way better at this than I am. I'm I'm working on this every day. Moving from producer to architect, right? So, so and then there's three things on that like build decision making into your team. Here's how we make decisions, here's who has authority to make these decisions, right? Awesome. Right. And it could be your your simple org chart, right? Like on your org chart next to every name could be like, hey, there with these questions, go to this person. With these questions, go to this person with these questions, right? Whatever it is. Um, and then install systems as you scale, hopefully before. But install systems, here's how we do the holiday party, here's and then prioritize for yourself, right? Go through that that list and and prioritize the high impact things that you need to be doing, and then and then you know, we we go through it, delegate it, automate it, eliminate, and so that you can be doing the most important things.

SPEAKER_00 10:07

So I think to to put a bow on this one, Wayne, I think we need to be kind of very clear like who this is, who we're talking about, and like be very direct about it. So, like if you're a new brand new agent, like and you're trying to figure out your first deal, like this video is not really for you, right? Go produce. Yeah. Go sell this is for the high-producing people that have earned the right to not get stuck, right? And they feel like they're stuck. They're the plateaued agents right now. So just want to make sure people understand that you're in production, you're managing, you're firefighting, and you feel like you can't step away. That that's really who I want you to go back and re-watch this video. And uh, let's be honest. If you're not thinking like an owner, you're the employee, and employees are great, but you're probably being overpaid, right? So, like, think of in that terms. If you're doing tasks, if you were taking out the trash and you're the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, your board should fire you. Right? Not because you're beneath you, because that they are paying you hundreds and thousands of dollars a year to do something else and you're not staying in your lane. And when I heard that analogy, it really helped me understand that I don't have to do dishes at home anymore. No, no, I'm just kidding. That's not what it's uh uh.

unknown 11:12

All right.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

So what are we talking about the next next uh episode, Wayne?

SPEAKER_02 11:16

First off, like and subscribe so that we can prove that we have friends. The second thing is uh on the next video, we're gonna talk about like how to not feel guilty for wanting freedom and how feeling guilty for wanting freedom is messing you up and what to do about it.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Hey, real quick, if you're liking this content, imagine having a full day immersed with people that are on this, like us, that are learning from each other.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Man, we do these kind of events, these intensive, a couple times a year. And if you know that you are the smartest person in the room and you need to get into other rooms, this is the place to be, right? So apply, send us a message right now. We'll send you the application link and see if you are the right fit to be in one of the rooms.