Burned Out and Afraid to Stop

Burned Out and Afraid to Stop

Burned out but afraid to slow down? This is the reality for a lot of real estate agents and team leaders.

You’re working nonstop, handling every task, answering every question, solving every problem, and telling yourself that’s just what success requires. 

But burnout is not always about working too many hours. A lot of the time, it comes from doing the wrong things for too long without leverage, structure, or support.

In this episode, we break down what burnout actually looks like in real estate, why so many agents feel trapped in reaction mode, and how to start getting your time, energy, and business back under control.

You’ll learn how to identify the tasks that are draining you, what to delegate first, why systems matter, and how to stop wearing burnout like a badge of honor.

What You’ll Learn

• Why burnout is often a structure problem, not just a workload problem
  
  
• How to tell if you’re doing the wrong parts of real estate
  
  
• Why reaction mode makes your business feel heavier than it is
  
  
• How leverage, delegation, and systems help prevent burnout
  
  
• The 30% rule for deciding what only you should be doing
  
  
• Why taking time off exposes the gaps in your business
  
  
• How to stop confusing hard work with success
  
  

Chapters:
 0:00 Burned out but afraid to slow down
1:14 What burnout really looks like
2:14 Why burnout is not always about hours worked
3:13 Reaction mode vs intentional structure
4:15 Why leverage is the first step
6:20 Burnout as a structural warning sign
7:28 The real value of delegation
8:21 The 30% rule
9:17 What a high-value agent should actually be doing
11:55 Why you’re afraid to step away
13:19 Making money without doing everything yourself
14:09 Team leader burnout and self-worth
17:24 How to start fixing burnout

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Burned out and afraid to slow down. So this is something we don't hear out loud. What's going on? And why you are feeling burned out and yet still afraid to slow down. Let's get into real estate untucked and untucked. What's going on and why you are feeling burned out and yet still afraid to slow down? Because this is a chronic issue that's happening.

SPEAKER_02 0:21

Yeah, when I when I think about people that are burned out and just still going, it reminds me of like that uh Indiana Jones show down in Disney World where like the boulder's coming after he's just got to keep running, right?

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Except for the time when all the That's how the business feels. Yes. So first of all, everybody in silence going like you should slow down. They're like, screw you, there's a boulder right there. And we're like, no, no, slow down.

SPEAKER_02 0:41

It'll be great. They're like, you're an idiot. All right, y'all. Real quick, before we keep going though, uh, do us a favor, like and subscribe. I know you're tired of hearing it, but we get a lot of views on these things. We get a lot of people that ask this question in DM, but you're not quite hitting that button. And that's what we need to uh, you know, make us feel good because the 57 cents we make off this is not uh not doing it. But on all reality, you're watching this for a reason, and I think we're putting out content you like. So hit that button so we can keep these coming to you and you don't have to think about it. Um, back to the scheduling regular scheduled programming. Let's talk about burnout. I think that is a key term that people like to use, and I don't know if it's actually what people know. So, like if you if someone asks you, Wayne, like in your opinion, what does burnout look like? What is it?

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Man, I it's interesting, it's one of those things that everybody knows how it feels, but it's hard to articulate. It's like I'm burned out. It's like, okay, what exactly is that? Nobody can really put their finger on it. Uh, oftentimes. And I think I think a lot of times burnout is exhaustion from too many tasks in your head. It's going, going, going and feeling frantic. It's being not clear on the things you do. But here's what drives me crazy about burnout is there's been times in my life when I worked really, really hard, a lot of hours and didn't feel burned out. There's been times when I wasn't working very many hours and felt burned out. So it's obviously not just about like the time. Yeah, a lot of it is about what's happening in my sometimes this time. Like you need to have downtime, you need to have rest. I'm not dis I'm not discounting that, but it's usually not necessarily that I'm doing too many things, it's that I'm doing the wrong things too much.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

I think that's it. I mean, I think when people think of burned out, they think like they're on the couch and they can't get up, like exhaustion or like depression. And I don't think it has to be that way. I think it's if you won the lottery tomorrow, would you come back?

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

You know, if you wouldn't come back, you're probably burned out because you're not doing what you love. And I I'm talking from personal experience. You know, if people are like, hey, if you do what you love every day, then you'll never work a day in your life, or whatever the hell that shit is. And there's been some times I'm like, I don't enjoy this, but I need to check to feed my family and do the things. And what I've learned over the course of the last couple of years through multiple coaches and therapies and all this other stuff is I'm you're exactly right. I think you're doing the wrong parts of real estate. And because real estate is 27 different things a day at least, you feel like you have to do them all and keep pushing. And so you keep adding to your to-do list and you're frantic because your to-do list is so long, and you're not stopping to delegate the to-do list off, right? And I think that's where a lot of things are.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Well, and I think it's it's two things either like it's too much reactionary mode and not enough preparation, right? Like you're confused. Like, imagine the agent that wakes up in the morning, doesn't know exactly when they need to wake up, has to decide what they're gonna wear, then spends time going, like, hey, what should I eat for the for breakfast? Then eventually gets to the office and is like, I know I need to work, where should I start? And spends the first 45 minutes or hour deciding what they need to do. Like, oh, I should call a bill. Then they got to decide who to call, right? Then they check the phone to see that like they go through by by 11 o'clock, they're exhausted because they've been unclear, un frantic, all over the place, exhausted. First is agent two that goes, I need to get up at this time. Here's the two things to do in the morning. I know what I'm gonna wear, here's what I eat. Hey, when I get to the office, I'm gonna have a list of 20 people on my desk. They're the first 20 calls I make. Like, there's no there's no barrier to entry. It's just do these things, and like you said, it's it's intentionality and its structure that that leads to that. And that's the thing. So it's not that you're working too hard, it's it's that it's too cumbersome, it's too frantic, and it's too reactionary, is usually the issue. So so yeah, what's what's the answer to all that?

SPEAKER_02 4:14

Well, one, uh like we've been preaching, right? Like, and I I know it sounds like a an old book at this point, but you've got to find leverage. You have to, right? Like you just do. And a couple ways that you can find leverage, and Wayne, jump in if if you disagree. But I mean, an easy one, obviously you can hire somebody, but you're afraid you probably don't know who to hire or what to do. What you could also do is get a coach like Wayne, and I'm not here to sell him necessarily, but like get him because sometimes outside perspective will help you break these down in manageable steps, right? And through coaching, through mentorship or whatever it might be, then you can start peeling this onion back layer by layer. And I I honestly think getting some help, so a therapist, but also a VA, which are two separate people. But like having somebody, if you can't afford a full-time in-person staff member, do that. And before anybody says, I can't do that, I can't afford it, or they won't do it like me. Good luck. Get the fuck out. You're done, you're burned out, you're in flames, it is going to burn down to ash. Quit, quit acting like you're doing something. Either do something or shut up. That's my that's my opinion right now. That's what you need to hear.

SPEAKER_00 5:16

And I think intentionality is the price you pay for success. So intentionality is I know what I'm gonna do first thing in the morning. Intentionality is I know what I'm gonna say, right? It's it's doing those things. And then and then doing the audit like we talked about, which is taking all the tasks you did and going, where are the most important ones and only doing those and saying no to a whole lot of stuff. People go, I have too much on my plate. And I'm like, well, either get somebody else who has an empty plate and put some stuff on their plate, like a virtual assistant or an executive or whatever it is, or take more things off your plate. But like it's your plate to decide what you're doing, and I guarantee you somebody's getting more done with less time and let that be the thing that pisses you off enough to go do something about it.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Yeah, no, that's where it's gonna get down to. And I think when you do that, right? When you do that, it's gonna be eye-opening. And it's not like you have to give your whole plate away, right? Just a couple portions here, a couple portions there that to people that can. And you can also give away the portions that don't even matter to you. They do matter, but not to you, right? So maybe some transaction management, photos, whatever. Like just do it. Um, but also I think you know, a good way to ask yourself too is well, one, if you're burned out, y'all, it's a it's a structural problem, right? It's a structural warning. It is the fire alarm going off in your body. And if you don't know if you're burned out or not, ask your spouse or your parents or your kids. Like they'll tell you. Like they'll tell you, not so much like you're burned out, but like, yeah, you're an asshole when you get home. Or you get home like you're quiet or you're drinking too much, or you're doing maybe I'm talking from personal experience, but um, they will tell you and you will know it, but maybe you haven't been hearing it. So take that as a warning because it doesn't get better from here, but it can. Yeah. And so a cool thing you can do is look at your business now and then think back down memory lane when you're first starting out. What things were you doing then that you're still doing 10 years later? You were doing 10 deals there, but now you're doing a hundred. Like, are you doing something physical every single time? Are you mailing a thousand postcards, but you've never actually gotten a deal out of it, right? Are you still doing an open house every weekend, even though you've earned the right not to do an open house or not do them at all? Right. So what are you doing still that literally has not done anything for your business or your mental sanity in the entire time you've been in business? That is one way you can start trying to figure out your role and what you can start dishing off your plate.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Yeah. It was funny yesterday, I was talking to one of my clients and she said she's getting a new virtual a virtual assistant right now. She has that one before, and she goes, This is taking forever. I'm four hours into like, you know, filling this stuff out, documenting this, whatever. And she goes, I don't even know if this is worth it. And I'm like, okay, let's say it takes 16 hours. We're only four hours in, but let's let's get crazy. Let's say it takes 16 hours. And this virtual assistant doesn't get you back 40 hours a week. Let's say they only get you back 15. So, what is 16 hours versus 15 hours for every week for a year? That is a 52 to 1 ratio. That's a pretty I don't know what kind of math you're using, but that's a pretty phenomenal return. I can put 16 hours in and get however get 15 hours back per week. Like that's a pretty huge number.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that leads us into a little thing we like to call the 30% rule, right? Go through everything you're doing. And again, you can do the to buy back your time. That's a little different, but I'm talking like take your listing process, take your closing process, take your client follow-up process, and go through the highlighter. It should be documented. So if it's not, we should probably start there. Like just document your process, but go through and highlight only things that you can do. Only you can do this, which if you had to ask me, the only things I only I can do if I was a listing agent is the listing presentation. Maybe it's comps, right? Say comps. I would say client follow-up. Me personally, some people wouldn't. Photos, keys, lockbox running, flyers, lead follow-up. Not me. Not me. So if that list goes above 30%, you're doing too much, right? So you need to be the surgeon that's just doing that amount. And that's the goal I want to get you to. Because right now, if you're highlighting the whole thing because you're doing it all, let's think about getting some off our plate. So that way this fire keeps burning and it doesn't go out.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Well, it well, I a fun way to think about that is if I was paying somebody five hundred thousand dollars a year to do my job, if I was paying somebody else five hundred thousand years, like what are the three to five things they better be doing every single week? Like, oh, they better be doing lead generation, they better be doing lead follow-up, they better be checking on, but like I it would not be a huge list. And like if they're not doing these things, like I would fire them. And yet, how often are we are we not doing that stuff?

SPEAKER_02 9:41

That's funny because it's from a book I've read recently, but it's they use the same concept, or maybe you told me this, but it's like if you were paid half a million dollars a year and you were taking out the trash, your board of directors should fire you. It's not because you're too good for it, it's not, and I think that's something we should also address. I think people will feel like if I don't do this, then I'm saying I'm better than the person that's doing it.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

Yeah, where did we pick that up? And I think our parents tried or somebody tried to teach us humility along the way, and it got warped. And like the message got weird.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Yeah, yeah. Guys, there's I've got somebody that does my books and bookkeeping and all that. I can definitely do that. I like spreadsheets. But you know what? That takes her hours and hours. I am not better than that person on a social level at all. My skill set is better suited somewhere else, her skill set, and as long as once you realize that it's just skill set and what you're better at, it's not being better than, it's just you're better at. And so you're allowed to give that up.

SPEAKER_00 10:33

Yeah, well, and and I think it is. I mean, I I'll get weird. I think it's biblical. You know what I mean? I I think you're given five talents and you're supposed to get the highest return you can on those five talents. You know, I I think, you know, if if if God made you phenomenal at coaching and and you're doing the books all day long, he'd be like, bro, I made you good at this. Why are you not being the best in the world? This thing that I that I made you good at, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

And vice versa. This person over here is doing, you know, got God gave them the talent of books, and they're he's like, Don't do it. Wayne's good at this, right? Like, stop taking Wayne's job. Do this thing and be the best of the world at this thing. I mean, so I I instead of being selfish, I think it's a I'm gonna be a phenomenal steward of the talents I was given. And and and and if I'm not being a good steward of that, then I'm kind of spitting on on the talents and the gifts that that that guy gave me. Now, starting out, you gotta take if it's just you, you gotta take the trash out, right? But like this whole thing in identity shift is evolving over time. Hey, I'm on level two. Now I can go, hey, I I've got this much money put away. Cool. Now I can take this and leverage some of this stuff out.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

Yeah, and I think it's uh what I've realized recently is it's living living in alignment with yourself. So like again, if you're doing the books and you don't enjoy it, then you're not in alignment with what you're trying to achieve and you're not gonna ever like it, right? So live in alignment with yourself. First, figure out what that is, figure out what your bumpers are, and then go all in on that. So I also think, right, we people have like a they're afraid to leave their business, right? I know we talk about this a lot, and we we've had some people in e5 do this, and it's been awesome, where they're like, hey, I can't leave. I can't step out, I can't miss my phone call. I'm writing an offer in the recovery room because I just had a baby, or I did this, like those things drive me nuts, right? So I think your goal should be to build something to where you could take 30 days off and nothing changes in the numbers.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

Dude, I had a client who had who's one of the top, basically the top agent in his state. When he first started working with me, he confessed he had not taken a vacation in 15 years. That that's insane to me. Right? Like anybody looking at me and be like, you are successful, but you can't go away for a week. Like that is not success. Like this is this is this is not okay. So just like to do a restaurant impossible, do a stress test. Start taking every Friday afternoon off and make a list of all the things that didn't get done or all the fires that happened because you weren't there. Cool. That's your first to-do list, right? And start working your way down through through those things.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

Yeah, and I will say a little symptom if you're worried about that, is the reason you're not willing to take the time off is because you haven't taught the people how to do it without you. So that comes down to documenting, task, checklist, all that stuff. But that's a whole so if you don't feel like you can take a Friday off, maybe you start with making documenting everything you do. So that way you teach them, they have something to reference, and then an odd option, opportunity that something comes up that they can't answer, it's probably not gonna burn down anyway, to be honest with you. Probably not. Probably not. You know what helps people not feel burned out, I think, too, is making money when they're not working, right? Isn't that weird? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

Oh, you know what I realized is I always thought it had to be hard. I don't know why I thought that. I thought my parents taught me to work hard. You know, it was all stuff like work hard, bank, hey, what the sun shines. Like I always had this unconscious belief that it had to be hard. So guess what I did? I made everything hard. And then I started realizing like I'm willing to do hard. Here's my identity shift. I'm willing to do hard work. I'm totally willing to do it. And sometimes money comes to me easily. Sometimes I get a dividend, sometimes checks show up in the mail, sometimes something works out in my favor. Sometimes something took, you know, a third as long as I thought it was gonna be. Like, I'm willing to do hard work and I do, and I'm also open to money coming to me easily and freely and in abundance.

SPEAKER_02 14:05

You know what's funny about that is I think a couple of symptoms to this problem are one, self-worth of the team leader, right? So the person that feels burnt out, absolutely, they're burned out because they've started a team that they really don't know how to run. I would venture to guess their splits are too high, so they're carrying all the cost, all the burden, and not making any money. And I'm not saying like pillage your people, right? I'm not saying steal their money, but I think you need to realize your self-worth and your cost and you charge adequately. And people want to work with you, they don't. Because imagine if you had three buyers' agents or on a healthy split with you, doesn't have to be 50-50, it could be more than that. But they're making money. So every time they close a deal, guess what? You make money. So now it's not button seat in front of the listing agent. And that's how a lot of teams are set up. And if you're set up that way, you've really got to hit that link down in our description and come apply for E4E5. We need to help you revamp this. And it's not taking money from people, it's you have to realize that you're a gift to them for what you offer and you need to be compensated clearly. And then if the people move on, they move on. Or if they grow up, they grow up. But at the same time, you need to be making money on the people that you're mentoring. Why are we doing all this for free? And a lot of times burnout becomes we're paying for everything, we're not making money. And then I got six other people relying on me, and I'm not making money off of them. So I'm burned the hell out. I'm done. I'm out.

SPEAKER_00 15:23

Well, and and and it's the identity shift from going from I'm I'm valuable for the time I put in, or am I valuable for the result I got? And I I love that story of what was the ship mechanic, right? There was a ship that broke down and they they hired a bunch of people that came in, nobody could fix the engine. So they they go to this old timer, right, and say, Hey, will you please come back and fix this thing, right? So he comes in, right, goes down to the engine department, grab, you know, stands there for a couple minutes, grabs a little hammer, taps it in one place, and the engine the engine fires up, right? And then right a couple weeks later, sends them this exorbitant bill, right? And they're like, you were there for 10 minutes. And he's like, it's it was not the fact that I was there for 10 minutes, it's that I knew where to hit, right? You know what I mean? So it's like, hey, I'm not charging you, you know, a a thousand dollars a second, I'm charging you for being the one that knew where to hit. And I think that like your years of experience, your knowledge, your gifts from God, those are valuable. And I and be highly rewarded because you create phenomenal results. Get out of the hour to hour and get and get excited about being rewarded for the results.

SPEAKER_02 16:22

And before anybody out there rolls their eyes and go, that won't work. It works. It does. It takes time, it takes effort, it takes a decision. I do it. And I'm not here to be boastful. I kind of reserve myself on this thing, but like I have hundreds of deals that close every year inside my team.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

I don't take the pictures, I don't even know what the house looks like. I have people walk up to me and go, hey, you haven't got my house listed. I'm like, where do you live? You know, and it's not that we don't have good quality, I've just built people and systems over time that allow me to do it. And so it is possible. It is possible.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Yeah, well, I'm this gal, I had a call with a gal the other day. Um, right, she was not in a position to jump into coaching or come to E4E5 at that moment. But I said, Hey, let's let's just spend 10 minutes like actually coaching, like, what do you need help with? Right. So we dove into it. And in eight minutes, she had a phenomenal shift in her mindset and and in her business. She goes, Oh my goodness, it's it's gonna have a huge, she's probably gonna make an extra hundred thousand dollars this year because of that seven-minute conversation. And she goes, you know, she basically was like, How did you do that? It was it's not the time, it's the fact that I've had 20 years of conversations and I knew what exactly we need to do in seven minutes, right?

SPEAKER_02 17:22

Yeah, yeah. That's the value. So, guys, I one, let's let's wrap this thing up. But I I think one, know if you're burned out or not. Also, something that was going to mention is like go get your blood. I mean, it sounds really what random, like go get your blood work done. Like you were saying, we were talking about earlier on the E5 call. Like, check yourself, make sure your hormone levels are right. It sounds so stupid, but if you're older in life, y'all, it's real. Like there's nothing you're gonna do that's gonna make you happier if your body's out of balance, right? So, like make sure you get that checked so you're not fighting an uphill battle the entire time. But two, if you're burned out, what are you burned out about? Take some time, take a day, oh, that's crazy, or half a day, and really think about what bugs you, what you enjoy. Like that's where I think I would start.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

And like we talked about yesterday, feeling like crap is not the necessary feeling to be successful. Stop accepting that feeling like crap is just part of the job. It's not. There are people that are making more money than you, that are having a beautiful experience. It does not have to be brutal and suck, and you do not have to be burned out, right? We wear it like a badge of honor, and that is the stupidest badge of honor to wear. I want you to wear the badge of honor of like, hey, look, we're able to get done, and I feel great. I work eight hours a week, or I was able to go on a two-month vacation and we still got the like change the badge of honor and it's it stop accepting that you need to feel like crap. It it doesn't need to be that way.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

Yeah. So if this resonates with you, two things. Hit the link down below, apply to be an E45 if you want to. If not, just keep watching our videos. Like, that's fine with us too. That's why we're doing it. But if you're doing that, make sure you hit the like and subscribe so we can get our viewership count up. We like that. It helps with the algorithms, but it also uh makes us know that you're appreciative of what we're saying. And always, if you have some different take on the stuff, drop it in the comments or DM us. Like we're we're an open book. We're not saying we know everything, but we've got enough scars and bruises that hopefully we can keep a couple people from uh getting beat up too hard. So um, yeah, we'll see you on the next video. Hey, real quick, if you're liking this content, imagine having a whole day immersed with people that are on this like us that are learning from each other.

SPEAKER_01 19:19

Man, we do these kind of events, these intensive, a couple times a year. And if you know that you are the smartest person in the room and you need to get into other rooms, this is the place to be, right? So apply, send us a message right now. We'll send you the application link and see if you are the right fit to be in one of the rooms.