School Refusal & Anxiety Are Real

School mornings can feel impossible. Your stomach churns, your head hurts, your mind races and sometimes, you just don’t want to get out of bed. You’re not alone.

In this episode of Girl, You’ve Got This, we dive into school anxiety and school refusal - what it really feels like in your body and brain, why it happens, and what you can do in the moment to feel calmer and more in control.

We’ll talk about the pressure from school, friends, and even yourself, and how your nervous system reacts when you don’t feel safe. You’ll hear honest, real talk, and get simple tools you can use right away to stop spiralling, feel seen, and start finding your confidence again.

If school stress has ever left you feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or like you’re “too much,” this episode is your reminder: you’re not broken, you’re not alone and you’ve got this.

If you want more tools like this, What’s The Feeling, my brand new online girls’ membership, is coming soon. We’re going to dive deep into what’s actually happening in your brain and body, and how to feel calmer, stronger, and more confident every day.

Check out my revamped website for updates or connect with me on TikTok

Transcript

Hey lovely, welcome back to Girl, You’ve Got This.

I’m Rach Friedli — and I’m here because I get it. I know what it feels like when life feels too much. When your body and your brain seem to be working against you. And I know how lonely it can feel to believe you’re the only one.

This podcast is your space — whether you’re 9 or 25 — to understand what’s really going on inside you and learn ways to calm your body, steady your mind, and feel more like you.

So if you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” “too sensitive,” or “just different” — I want you to know: you’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. You deserve to feel safe, seen, and supported.

So here we are. Summer’s over, school, hom education and uni are beginning to go back, and routines are kicking in.

But how are you, really?

Maybe mornings already feel impossible. Maybe your body is screaming at you before you’ve even left the house:

👉 Headaches.

👉 Tummy aches.

👉 Nausea.

👉 Or just not being able to get out of bed, no matter how hard you try.

And people might say you’re “just being lazy” or “making excuses.” But I need you to hear this: you’re not.

This is school anxiety. This is school refusal. And it’s real.

It’s not about a few nerves before a test. It can take over every part of your day — and your night. It can stop you enjoying friends, hobbies, or even just relaxing.

At home, it might show up as crying, shutting down, snapping at everyone, or zoning out completely. And while you might feel guilty for that — it’s not because you’re “bad.” It’s because your body is trying to protect you.

Here’s the truth: school refusal isn’t just “not wanting to go.” It’s your nervous system saying: “I don’t feel safe.”

And your body has its own way of showing that:

✨ Acting younger than you are — wanting comfort, closeness, or safety.

✨ Feeling sick, dizzy, drained, or constantly run down.

✨ Freezing up, going blank, or not being able to think straight.

✨ Losing your appetite, or pretending you’re ill so you don’t have to face it.

These aren’t excuses. These are signals. And they matter.

And if you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just cope like everyone else?” — let me tell you: you’re not the only one. Not even close.

💔 Confidence in girls and young women has dropped massively since 2017.

💔 Almost 8 out of 10 girls say they feel like they’re going to explode from all the pressure.

💔 Sadness and depression have shot up — tripled for ages 10–12 and doubled for ages 12–14.

So if it feels heavy, that’s because it is heavy. And you’re not alone in it.

Here’s what’s happening: when you don’t feel safe, your nervous system flips into survival mode — fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. That’s not weakness. That’s biology. Forcing yourself through the school gates or pushing harder doesn’t fix it. It makes it worse.

So what can you do in the moment, when your body feels like it’s screaming “NO”?

💡 Pause and check in. Ask yourself: what’s this feeling trying to tell me?

💡 Validate yourself. Say: “This is tough. It makes sense I feel like this.” It’s okay to name it.

💡 Ground your body. Try a slow breath in, a longer breath out. Stretch, shake out your arms, or press your feet firmly into the floor. And if that sounds “too woo”, have a dance round your house - music up loud, sing to your hearts content and dance - however you want! Simple things that remind your body: you’re safe right now.

Because here’s the bottom line: when you feel safe, you can thrive. When you don’t, your body shuts down. That doesn’t mean you’re broken — it means your body is asking you to listen.

If this episode hit home for you, make sure you follow the podcast so you don’t miss what’s next.

And please — share this with a friend who might be struggling too. She needs to know she’s not alone either.

You’ve got this. And I’ll be right here with you, every step of the way.