Confidence - It's Not Just in Your Head

Have you ever had a moment when you felt confident one minute and the next, it's like it went poof?

Today we're talking exactly about that - what's really happening when it disappears and how to rebuild it in a way that starts in your body, not your head.

When you lose confidence, it's not that you don't have any. It's that your nervous system has flipped into full on protective mode, and that's ok. It's natural and "normal" whatever that means.

So listen in and take a chance to chill.

You've got this!

If you want more tools like this, What’s The Feeling, my brand new online girls’ membership, is coming soon. We’re going to dive deep into what’s actually happening in your brain and body, and how to feel calmer, stronger, and more confident every day.

Check out my revamped website for updates or connect with me on TikTok

Transcript

Hi and  welcome back to Girl You’ve Got This: the podcast that helps you feel strong from the inside out.

Let me ask you something:
Have you ever had a moment when you felt totally confident one minute and then poof… it’s gone?
Like maybe you were about to speak up in class, or post that picture, or try out for something and suddenly your brain went,

“Nope. Don’t do it. You’re not good enough.”

And just like that, your body froze.
Your chest tightened.
Your stomach flipped.
And your inner critic got really loud.

You’re not broken. You’re not dramatic.
You’re just human.
Actually, you’re wired that way.

So today, we’re talking about confidence: what’s really happening when it disappears, and how to rebuild it in a way that starts in your body, not your head.


PART 1 — What’s Really Going On

Here’s what research from The Girls’ Index shows:
Between the ages of 8 and 14, girls’ confidence drops by about 30%.

That’s huge.
It’s not that girls suddenly become less capable or less amazing - it’s that the world starts whispering louder messages like:

“Be careful what people think.”
“Don’t mess up.”
“Don’t stand out too much.”
“Play it safe.”

And your brain hears all that and goes, “Okay, cool, let’s stay small so we don’t get judged.”
That’s your safety system kicking in, not your personality.

When you lose confidence, it’s not that you don’t have any.
It’s that your nervous system has flipped into what’s called a protective state.

It’s your body saying,

“Hey, something here feels risky.”

So your heart races.
Your breath shortens.
You overthink everything.
And suddenly, even easy things feel hard.

But here’s the cool part:
Confidence isn’t about never feeling scared.
It’s about teaching your body,

“Hey, we’re safe. We can handle this.”

That’s when your brain switches from “protect” mode into “power” mode.

PART 2 — Physiology-First Tool 

🌟 The Confidence Power Reset

You can’t think your way into confidence.
Sometimes, you have to move your way there.

So let’s do a quick body reset right now.
Wherever you are - stand up if you can.

Feet on the floor.
Arms loose by your sides.

First, take a big breath in through your nose
and let it out slowly through your mouth.

Now roll your shoulders back.
Lift your chin just a little.
Open up from your core, like you’re giving your lungs more space.

Notice what that feels like - taller, stronger, lighter?

That’s your posture of power.
It’s not about posing.
It’s about letting your body know:

“We’re okay. We belong here.”

Now let’s add a little play because your nervous system loves fun.

Shake your arms out.
Bounce on your toes.
Jump around - arms wide, big smile.

You might laugh and that is just perfect.
That laughter means your body just released tension.

What’s happening right now?
When you move and breathe deeply, your brain releases chemicals that help you feel more alive, more alert, and yep, more confident.
Your body just told your brain,

“We’re safe. Let’s go.”

That’s the physiology-first effect.
You didn’t have to “fake it till you make it.”
You felt it till you made it.

PART 3 — Play Strategy for Real Life 

🎮 The Confidence Switch Challenge

Here’s your challenge this week:
Every time you catch yourself thinking,

“I can’t do this,” or “What if I mess up?”

…pause and flip the switch.

Do these 3 steps:

1️⃣ Stand tall. Shoulders back, chest open.
2️⃣ Take one slow, deep breath. In through your nose, out through your mouth.
3️⃣ Move - even if it’s tiny. Step forward, stretch, shake, dance.

Because movement changes your chemistry.
It gets you out of “what if” and back into “I can.”

If you want to make it playful, give it a name.
Call it your Confidence Switch.
Do it with a friend.
Whoever hits their switch first when they start to doubt themselves wins.

The more you practice, the faster your brain learns:

“Oh, this is what safety and strength feel like.”

⸻

OUTRO – Empowerment

So, next time your confidence disappears, don’t panic.
It didn’t vanish.
It just got quiet for a second.

Help your body feel safe again and your confidence will come right back online.

Remember:
Confidence isn’t a personality trait, it’s a body cue.
When your body feels steady, your voice gets stronger.

Try your Confidence Switch Challenge this week and send this episode to a friend who needs a little reminder of how powerful she already is.

Because when one girl stands taller, we all rise with her.

And as always:

Physiology before psychology
Take a breath, stand proud, and remember Girl, You’ve Got This.