we are NOT the SAME
We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos!
we are NOT the SAME
The Camera Never Lies, But Some Dates Do
Sometimes the most meaningful realizations happen when you're not trying to have them. This episode begins with celebrating a small victory—finally setting up our video camera after years of saying we would—before diving into the fascinating results of our dating app experiment. The numbers don't lie: over 1,750 likes for one host while the other had a dramatically different experience, proving our hypothesis that dating apps create vastly different experiences for different users.
When one of us shares a recent dating disaster, complete with height lies and a woefully unprepared hiking date in 47-degree Pacific Northwest weather, it sparks a deeper conversation about boundaries. We explore that critical difference between protecting yourself and self-sabotaging potential connections. For those of us who've historically given 150% while receiving 15% in return, recognizing this imbalance early has become crucial to breaking unhealthy patterns.
The heart of our conversation turns to insights from "Things No One Taught Us About Love" by Vex King, examining how relationships often mirror our relationship with ourselves. We contrast the unrealistic romantic expectations set by John Hughes movies with the more grounded reality of mature love—not about finding perfection, but "coming home to yourself, then choosing someone who aligns with you." Our healing journeys have brought us to understand that true connection isn't based on transactions or codependence but on wholeness meeting wholeness.
Between fits of laughter and moments of profound clarity, we share updates on past situations that demonstrate karma truly does come around. These stories remind us that growth isn't linear, but it is happening. We're recognizing red flags earlier, setting better boundaries, and learning that processing trauma takes time—all while maintaining our sense of humor about life's absurdities.
Have you experienced similar revelations in your dating life? We'd love to hear your stories of boundaries, growth, and those hilariously awful dates that taught you something valuable about yourself.
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because I, like, looked at the camera and did a little play for it yeah it was interesting camera.
Speaker 1:We have a video camera. You guys, we did it finally. We meant to a long time ago, but life we have video now.
Speaker 2:Video hi audience.
Speaker 1:Hi, hopefully this works well, because it'll be super funny if we're talking about it and then well, I don't know how long the battery is gonna, because we just pulled it out of the case straight out of the box, we put it in.
Speaker 2:It's like yeah we're just going with it, because that's how you learn.
Speaker 1:That's how this podcast was born no, what I do, see, that's how you learn, baby. What I do is I buy it and I hand it to you and I'm like look, I contributed that's a lot of faith you put in me. I just don't know how to do this technological stuff. I am not. I am not tech savvy technology, technology, technology. I'm pretty good at that only because I use it a lot.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's fair and between the two of us, we have every single piece of equipment we could ever use or need yeah, we have duplicates. Yes, well, triplicate, no, but one of them is traumatized, just like us, and she's been through it yes, that brings me back to our last episode that we just uploaded. By the way, that was a little late. That was a new episode. If you listen we talk about it's almost christmas do we really?
Speaker 1:yes, we forgot, we thought we posted it and yes, and I have no idea how we didn't post it that's your department okay, to be fair, I thought we already posted it because it's fucking hilarious is. Is it that's?
Speaker 2:awesome. We talk about the dating app and you're like. My hypothesis was that I was going to get all of the messages. Yeah, and I don't even think we talked about the fact that I literally had over 1750 likes Like my phone was like that's crazy. And we did touch on some of the messages that I got, yeah, but none of them were crazy. No, they were all like you're beautiful. Why are you on here?
Speaker 1:Like actually very nice and appropriate than we anticipated. So my hypothesis was still correct because it was a comparison of how much you like, how much attention you would get.
Speaker 2:Yes, you said we would have very different experiences. Yeah, and we did different experiences, yeah. And we did. I still think that my point of travel did impact it, but we also only had it for a very short period of time.
Speaker 1:I know I gave a quick and then I took a break, and now I'm trying again. Why, why do I do this to myself?
Speaker 2:I've just given up and just given up.
Speaker 1:We're in different places right now, though, to be fair, Because, like the Johnny Bravo stuff just happened, Like it's still.
Speaker 2:Still ongoing. It's still happening, still ongoing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Until all the court stuff is done and you've had time to like it takes forever, but not really.
Speaker 2:I feel like this is actually going quicker.
Speaker 1:Now that it's in the court.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Except they actually going quicker now that it's in the court. Yes, except they're gonna continue it so we don't know how bad it's gonna get. Yeah, but really, until that's all done and you've had time to like, sit with it and process it, because we are processing bitches now, we're healing, we're doing all the things correctly this time I literally text you the other day does this mean, is this growth?
Speaker 2:you're like yes yes yes, I spotted that shit before I know we're recognizing red flags.
Speaker 1:We're doing so much better I'm so proud of us. I'm working really hard on boundaries you are.
Speaker 2:I did tell her, though, that she needs to go on more dates, so if there's anyone out there listening that wants to take lacey on a date, please do Send it through the podcast I'm going to interview you.
Speaker 1:That's a scary thing to just put out there like that.
Speaker 2:Why not?
Speaker 1:Because can we come up with some sort of vetting process. Yes, like an application Me, me, oh just you yeah, I'm going to take her.
Speaker 2:What you guys are going to do, what you have to offer that you're actually going to come prepared. What is?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't want any more cat pee trailer situations for you, or I also would appreciate not having the cat pee trailer situation that is we agree on that, now that I know you can't escape it, but I do have you on my 360 now, so yes, I've added, I have officially had added heather to my circle.
Speaker 1:I mean, you are family. My kids weren't even that surprised they. They were like why is heather on there? I was like um, because heather's talking to boys and we have to make sure he is safe. And my children were like that makes sense, makes sense they're like oh, it's Heather, Just say less. Say less, but also I actively am going on dates, so you have to know where I am yes. Because, yeah, your date.
Speaker 2:Do you want to talk about the date that did? We already talk about it.
Speaker 1:I don't think so. The one that ended really quickly.
Speaker 2:I was in arizona and I was waiting for your call. Like I never have my phone on ring and I'm like ever I did for you and my watch, because I'm like, if something happens, I'm like there. So I get a phone call way too fucking early from her and I'm like instantly, like I'm in the midst of trying to find this uber and getting to where we're going and I'm like fucking hold everything, hello, and it had ended already, already, yeah.
Speaker 1:So let's first set it up with like thought it was gonna be great I was so excited I was excited and I'm not excited for dates. I don't enjoy dating. I don't find it fun. I hate having to tell the same stories about myself over and over. I hate trying to figure out what is the right balance of hey, I have trauma, but I don't want to dump it on you Like you need to know because it's going to affect things, but you don't need to know because you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, so we had the best conversation before the date. Like we have a lot in common. He didn't care that I was a giant nerd, which is an important feature, but like that ain't gonna change I feel like you need a nerd kind of? Yeah, I think so too, but I also want you to like kind of be a lumberjack or look like one. Yes, like that is my type.
Speaker 2:I never date my type I've never seen a nerdy lumberjack I don't know if that's a real thing.
Speaker 1:So I mean, if it is, I would be great, but probably not, so I'm just screwed. But so I was super excited and then he planned the date and he was all like, let's go hiking. And I'm like hell, yeah, love it here for it it's cold, so I'm gonna be prepared because I'm a goddamn cub scout mom.
Speaker 1:But yes, I mean ish, like uh, you didn't go on the things that well, the one you went on the one, it was cold I, I don't do well in the cold, so I me, who hates the cold was gonna brave it to go hiking and I was super excited. And then we're gonna go get sushi because that's what I picked and the fact that he let me pick and I awesome. You know I'm super excited and I show up.
Speaker 2:And he lied, don't lie, don't lie lying is my number one red flag now I, yes, I can. I've always been especially a white lie, because if you're down for a white lie, you're down for any beginning.
Speaker 1:If you're gonna lie straight out the gate, you're gonna lie.
Speaker 2:I would rather hear the truth, like I don't care what it is.
Speaker 1:I can understand the truth. I can always understand people.
Speaker 2:You can always understand like yeah yeah, I can understand anything if you tell me the truth. If you lie to me, I will instantly.
Speaker 1:You're done right and the things like okay, he lied about his height, like oh, like straight out, lied about it why I don't know.
Speaker 2:That's a weird thing to lie about, because you're gonna to see him in real life.
Speaker 1:Exactly Right, I'm five four. His profile said he was like five eight. Already a short king. I don't care, I do not care if you're a short king, I care if you lie about it. Yeah, so I'm. I show up and he stands up and he's like five, six. First off, do you just not know what two inches is? Because that presents a potential future problem If you don't know the difference between two inches.
Speaker 2:Yes, you don't want a Johnny Bravo tiny penis situation. Don't get stuck.
Speaker 1:I've had a little pee in the past.
Speaker 2:We all have.
Speaker 1:Every girl, every girl has a little pee in her life.
Speaker 2:Everyone, whether they know it or not. Everyone, little pee the pinky.
Speaker 1:It is. Why did you twirl it?
Speaker 2:you're like because they have to, that's all they got no okay uh, and if you have a little p, you better be good at something else practice yes with your mouth tiny ankles, didn't even know where the clitoris was, so that was very disappointing. My last this is why I was asexual.
Speaker 1:I literally got to the point where I was like just stop, like I'm bored you become asexual.
Speaker 2:You become asexual when there's not. I do quick yes, same if it ain't worth it.
Speaker 1:I'd rather just not like I can. I can take care of it myself way quicker. Yes, so efficiently listen. So if I'm, I'm not here for a good time, I'm here for a quick time. I got shit to do. I have so many jobs I have so much shit to do.
Speaker 1:You're like I have 15 minutes, get it and be done with. Yeah, I read an article somewhere about like what women think is the appropriate amount of time for sex to last and like it was a poll and there's like these options and I'm all like 10 to 15, let's go. I got shit to do yeah but most people were like 40 minutes and I'm like that is a long time for me to try to stay engaged. I have ADHD.
Speaker 2:Okay, we need to reframe this poll to people with neurodivergent people. How long?
Speaker 1:Okay, if you are neurodivergent, please tell me, because I need to know if this is a just a me thing or if this is a neurodivergent thing?
Speaker 2:I think it might be. Yeah, because I'm the same way. Yeah, well, I mean I can be into it.
Speaker 1:But you also live a crazy busy lifestyle too, so I wonder, I need to know, is it because I'm busy, or is it?
Speaker 2:because I have.
Speaker 1:ADHD or both. I'm really interested, but that's okay. We got so off topic. This is all because of that date.
Speaker 2:I don't even remember. I did not sleep with him, so none of this is relevant.
Speaker 1:I didn't see it, I didn't touch it.
Speaker 2:This is how we like hold a sack. We'll sweep it back around. Okay, so the date Back around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay. So I'm already like pretty much in my brain it's a no. You lied to me out the gate Again. 5'8 is already short. So what's the difference between just being honest and saying I'm five, six, I'm like I don't know. But then what really sealed it is? He invited me hiking in March. I was wondering 47 degrees outside okay, I live in the Pacific Northwest yes it's cold.
Speaker 2:I was wondering this because I actually am a hiker. Yeah, you wouldn't think that well you would if you watch my social media. I and I fucking hike like the hard shit, north Cascades, like eight hours.
Speaker 1:We were just gonna do Tubbs Hill but this is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:I knew the second I said he was gonna take me on a hike and Tubbs Hill and the weather, I'm like that shit ain't gonna work out, but whatever. And then you had all the gear and I'm like, well, maybe he's just like you know, it'll be a quick up and back 45 minutes yeah, exactly, and that's if leisurely right leisurely.
Speaker 1:It's a 45 minute hike, it's not hard, I'm not gonna. Well, I might lose my breath because it's me and I can't go up three flight or four flights of stairs without almost dying almost had a heart attack earlier moving I jumped up and down. You earlier moving I jumped up and down.
Speaker 2:You did one jump, not even up and down. It was up. You went up and something happened and all of a sudden I got this really crazy pain in my chest.
Speaker 1:I'm like are you having a heart attack?
Speaker 2:She's like are you having a heart attack. I was like I'm fine, this is fine. You did not say you were fine. You said I do know CPR, I've just never actually done it. So I was standing by to call 911.
Speaker 1:Dude, my body is a piece of shit, but that's a whole different story.
Speaker 2:It's OK. My back is like fucked up today. I need Janessa again.
Speaker 1:I know I just went last week. Oh, we go on the same day Did you realize that I do.
Speaker 2:Isn't that funny that must be her favorite day.
Speaker 1:I know because I tell her stuff and I'm like oh, you're gonna laugh and then me and her joke about it later. Yeah, it's great, it's very. She planned that. She's smart, she is, I like that. Go see janessa.
Speaker 2:Intuitive touch body work and massage. She is the best. I am gonna link her information in the show notes.
Speaker 1:And, yeah, let her know that we referred you and we need to have her back on so we can talk about our massage shit, because I don't know about you, I mean you, but we have the funniest fucking conversations yes and the weirdest shit happens yes it does, okay, but anyway.
Speaker 1:So we're supposed to go on a hike, which I can do, tubs hill. There's certain shit I can't right. I I do have limitations, like actual medical limitations. I'm not just a lazy piece of shit, I am, but I'm not. So we show he's wearing a fucking the tightest. It made me think oh my God, you guys. It made me think of Johnny Bravo. So instantly my brain was like no, but he had the tightest black t-shirt on and no coat. He had the tightest black t-shirt on and no coat. It is 47 degrees, it is march in the pacific northwest and we're gonna go on a hike by the water, which makes it colder yes, right, yes because the wind and the water and all the things, it's the pacific northwest.
Speaker 2:Yes, it probably snowed that day too. It could have it could have.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I was so turned off like you planned hiking, you planned hiking. How do you not come then prepared?
Speaker 2:he's a liar so guess what?
Speaker 1:we didn't fucking hike because he was like it's too cold. I brought two coats, like I was fucking here for it I don't understand the right shoes, two coats how do you fuck that one up?
Speaker 2:yeah, I don't know. That's foreshadowing to like fucking up life like, if you can't get a date that you plan, correct I know.
Speaker 1:No, and my big thing now, the thing I'm boundaries, boundaries, working on boundaries, effort. If you do not put in an equal level of effort that I do, it has to be a no for me, because every relationship I've ever had it's been me putting in 150 and them giving me like 15 yes yeah, so I do too much.
Speaker 1:I'm aware I do too much I not anymore I'm trying not to, trying not to, so all around it's going to be a no right, he doesn't want to go hiking I'm already super not into it but I'm trying to find the difference between not self-sabotaging and having boundaries, and that's really hard. That's really hard. By the way, how do you know the difference when you never have before?
Speaker 2:If you like the person or not.
Speaker 1:But how do you?
Speaker 2:Because if you're not interested, then it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, you're not worried about the boundaries, you're just trying to get away, right? Wait, did I say that backwards?
Speaker 1:No, I think you said that right. I think I don't know.
Speaker 2:You know where I'm going with that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, I'm with you, I'm following.
Speaker 2:I just you don't like them, you're not interested.
Speaker 1:I will say okay, that's fair, because I felt more comfortable to be open in conversation, if you like them, you're going to be more self-sabotaging than if you don't like them.
Speaker 2:You're just there letting your boundaries go because you can't be mean to them for you personally.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because that makes me sick to my stomach.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you would show up on a date and stay held like you would be held hostage and you'd be fine with that if you did not like them, but if you liked them, you would self-sabotage that's fair. That's fair or you had interest or feelings, then it'd be self-sabotaging. So that's how we find it that's just how we determine it.
Speaker 1:Do you like them? Then you are self-sabotage, okay I actually read something my problem is I don't like anybody.
Speaker 2:Yes, okay, so I'm reading this book Things no One Taught Us About Love by Vex King. It's actually really good. I like him. He has a great. No, you highlighted stuff I did and I thought we could totally, totally talk about this Actually this is a catch-up episode.
Speaker 1:It's random. Yeah, we have no like designed topic.
Speaker 2:This is just us talking. So if you're on your healing journey, this is one like questions that you would ask yourself how can I unconditionally love unconditionally, while maintaining healthy boundaries that one is for you?
Speaker 1:so basically this talks about like okay this is a good quote.
Speaker 2:so, and then I'll go back to the other ones. Love is a human need, a a birthright. We all deserve it. It's essential to our development and quality of life. But we have to understand that love is an internal experience. It is found and felt from within. A relationship can help you cultivate more love, but ultimately here's the kicker Like a mirror, it will only amplify the abundance or lack of love you carry towards yourself.
Speaker 1:That's so unfair, because I give out so much love. It should be a reflection of what you put out, not how you feel about yourself.
Speaker 2:That's rude because did you feel attacked? I did too, I did too. But it also is like very a lot of clarity, right?
Speaker 1:because I don't love myself. But but I do at the same time, like I am at polar opposites with myself because like I hate myself. But I know that I'm a fucking badass and I know that I'm a catch.
Speaker 2:I know that I'm the fucking prize you are your also the butt, the butt part. You don't stand ten toes down on that. I got one firmly fucking planted yes and we're going to work on all nine going down as well. Okay, I have more for you.
Speaker 1:This is super off topic, but I have to tell you because it was super funny. So Reagan stepped on Deegan's toe and it hurt him and he made it like whatever. And we're like, oh God, what happened. Toe, and it hurt him and he made it like whatever. And we're like oh god, what happened. And instead of saying reagan stepped on my pinky toe, which a normal human being would say he goes, reagan stepped on my littlest toe and it was so weird because he's a big my little kid like he's tall and he's got muscle.
Speaker 1:He works out like he's a big, burly kid and he's like reagan stepped on my littlest toe and we all just started laughing at him instead of like with him.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, okay, that's funny. It was so funny in the moment. Sorry so random, but it was really funny no, that is, but I love our little stories about our stories about our kids.
Speaker 1:Um okay, so this is more, more being attacked, yes, but I felt it too.
Speaker 2:So it's good, um, when we fulfill most of our own needs for ourselves. It creates space for relationships become something greater. Instead of partnerships built on obligation, dependency or bargains, we can experience connections that transcend the transactional. By nurturing ourselves first, our relationships become free to reach new heights, no longer weighed down by expectations or voids seeking to be filled. Independence and wholeness attract something far more profound than codependence.
Speaker 1:I did Okay. Then codependence, sure, but I disagree with a lot of that statement.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I feel like me, being super independent is a hindrance, because I know no, ok, hold on, I 100 percent do.
Speaker 2:But in this, ok, this is taking like yourself love, so like say that we this is OK. Coming from the context of this book, it's like loving yourself and being so whole in and of yourself that then a relationship adds to that, not like you need that relationship to be whole I, but I don't ever.
Speaker 1:I don't think I've ever felt that I need a relationship.
Speaker 2:No, but I feel like I think you're on the other side of this. I mean, we're on the other side, like we're not the codependent ones, we're the independent ones that codependents are stuck onto us.
Speaker 1:That's okay. That's a fair statement, so, like I, feel this on the other side.
Speaker 2:I don't feel like one's for us. I feel like we find these people that are transactional, that use us because we are so independent. Oh, I'm sorry, that's where it meant, that's where that quote, that's where that quote. I felt it anyways.
Speaker 1:Got it Because I was like. You know that that's fair. And then because it never because the transactional part, it will never work because there's never an equal playing field, right? So we're always taking care of another person or do yeah, that's hard. So it's like that part right, that part yeah, and that person doesn't have, because the my, my problem with the people. That's a fair right. That's a nice way of yes, not right. Yes, I didn't mean no.
Speaker 2:I meant no, they cannot. Yeah, yes, you are correct, you build them. Yeah, yes, and instead of I'm ready for that life partner that we build together right.
Speaker 1:I want somebody who, like I, push you to be better, you push me to be better. We do like I don't want to become our greatest selves because we're together but we don't need each other. Yeah, yes, yeah, so, so then it goes back to you.
Speaker 2:No, listen this is the last part. The last part. I found this and I loved it. Love and relationships are not quite as we see them in the movies, so it talked a lot about, like in the beginning of this book, like how he, his view of love was skewed, and I felt the same way because I grew up in a lot of movies, escaped in books, things like that, john.
Speaker 1:Hughes set unrealistic expectations. Yes, yeah, and we experience yes, yes, very much so. So now you, john hughes, but also not because you made great movies but.
Speaker 2:But our brains were like wired to think that that's real, like the dramatic and the love. Yes, the dream and that were fulfilled once it and it's not like that there's someone at your door oh, um, so, oh, it's my neighbor. Oh, okay, she waved us away. Yes, well, she knows, okay, so they're not about finding that, okay. Love and relationships are not quite the same as we see them in the movies.
Speaker 2:They're not about finding the perfect home. They're about coming home to yourself, then choosing someone who aligns with you and with whom you can share your life. I loved that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's the new dream, right? I think the difference is your dream when you are a young, impressionable teenager who hasn't been burned by life yet, versus a grown ass adult who has lived through some shit and, like, understands what they want. Now, right, because when you're a teenager and you watch those movies and all that stuff, you don't know what they want. Now, right, because when you're a teenager and you've watched those movies and all that stuff, you don't know what you want. So you're desperately finding something to tell you what you want. And then that's your point of reference, it's the movie. So you're like that's obviously, that's the ideal, that's the dream. Then you go through shit and you realize that that is not even remotely close to how the real world is. And you've grown and you've been hurt and you've you know, you've done all the things. And then you come back and you're like no, this is what love is, not this yes, and love grows.
Speaker 2:So I guess you know I've been in a marriage for a long time and it's about growing and life with a partner is never just going to be like absolutely perfect and roses and the way it was in the beginning.
Speaker 1:I think that's what a lot of people don't think about.
Speaker 2:They're chasing about relationship, lust and dopamine hit of a new relationship.
Speaker 1:A honeymoon phase?
Speaker 2:Yes, and all that is is like your dopamine rushes being like a new person.
Speaker 1:Because everybody's trying their best.
Speaker 2:Yes, In theory, or my last relationship, zero honeymoon phase.
Speaker 1:Literally it was bad from like date two. And you stayed, but I still, I held out hope there was potential. Potential is the devil.
Speaker 2:That's why it gets me every time.
Speaker 1:Johnny Bravo kept getting me back every time was because he sold me false promises and lies yep, lies, it all goes back to the lies. And again, if you're gonna lie in the very fucking beginning about something as small like you're all, even if you're putting out that you're five, eight, you're already putting out that you're a short king. Just fucking own the shortness, just don't even say a height, or don't like something like I don't know it doesn't matter about it, it's weird, it's weird that was weird.
Speaker 1:Anyways, you had great sushi yeah, shiki, so good, love it. My favorite place the whole date. Whole date, from beginning to end, hour and a half I know I was shocked when you called me.
Speaker 2:I thought something was wrong and I was going to have to be like I'm fucking dying.
Speaker 1:I was home by like. Can I say that that's if?
Speaker 2:I appreciate that Didn't waste your time. You got dinner. Yeah, I mean, I guess it was I feel like you keep in a year and the last day before it was cat piss trailer guy. Yeah, so see you needed this and this is why I'm saying you need to go on all the dates to find that you don't have enough good experiences. So you need to start, like practicing boundaries and having good experiences and going on all the dates and talking to people and meeting them.
Speaker 1:So I set up a date.
Speaker 2:I tell you this I know as if, like you need to though I'm not going to do it, but you should again.
Speaker 1:We're in different spots right, I've been single for a year over a year and a half, I think. At this point, or at least a year and a half at this point, you, yours is still raw, yours is still ongoing, like you have to have time to be by after it ends, to be by yourself and process everything that you went through, because it's hard to process when it's still actively happening, like you can't fully period, you can't.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, we have a little update for people too, when we're done with the story because there always is one I know it's so funny. Well, karma likes to let us know when she's unfolding, and I really appreciate that we're getting well and part of it's because we're getting better at recognizing things.
Speaker 1:Yes, because I was talking to this other dude because, even though that date wasn't great and all the things, I was all all like I'm still going to try because I'm fucking dumb. And so I was talking to another gentleman and we were going to meet up this coming Saturday actually, and then, like after we kind of made plans, he messaged me, for he's all like can I get a full body photo of you? And in my brain I was like fuck off, like what, that's weird, right it's because doesn't he?
Speaker 2:why does he need a full body? He saw you well, he saw.
Speaker 1:He saw at least my face.
Speaker 2:Multiple photos so you know he's been catfished a lot by girls. Is that what it is? I think so to me.
Speaker 1:I was offended because I took it as if I don't meet your standards okay, you're not gonna want to meet me.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna cul-de-sac here, but it's very Go ahead, keep going.
Speaker 1:Part of it for me is like I got big old bitties, right, yes, which I love, and I would do it again in a heartbeat, but I don't want somebody to want to go on a date with me because I got big old bitties. Or I don't want somebody to not want to go on a date with me because they think I'm too chunky. Like give me, like let, why not just meet me in person? Why not just meet me in person and and?
Speaker 2:one see for yourself. So and then two this is how we're not the same, because I have yes matter this is how we're not the same, because you go to my instagram and there's me with my fucking glutes out.
Speaker 1:So you see exactly what I look like at any moment in time in a bikini.
Speaker 2:Here I am. Yeah, no makeup, let it all hang out, because I'm a bodybuilder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, if I had your body, I would feel more confident and flashing it. But like I don't know, I just feel like my body shouldn't matter it doesn't it matters to an extent. To an extent I'm not saying that like okay no, fat shame, fat phobia or anything.
Speaker 2:No, it's physical attraction. There should be a physical attraction, but that doesn't mean I don't have a standard that I'm physically attracted to. It's more like a vibe and an energy which you have to meet the person in person.
Speaker 1:I am. Maybe it is because I am attracted to personality, not looks. Obviously, if you look at my dating, history, I have never dated like an attractive person.
Speaker 2:I haven't either. Not my type apparently, like it is my type, I just don't ever date my type. Yeah, it's a problem, it's fine well, we're gonna find that um nerd lumberjack here.
Speaker 1:So if you are a nerdy lumberjack, please I don't care if you're a nerd, I just want you to be. Okay that I'm a nerd oh, there was.
Speaker 2:The seniors did a star wars theme verde loco thing you would have loved it.
Speaker 1:That's so funny that that's where you just went the nerd.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my brain, like I said, um, I do want a cul-de-sac, so this person who we've talked about before, um sent me some nickname. Do we have? We don't, but I'll just show you.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, okay for some reason, things that like me and this person should talk yeah, well, yes, okay.
Speaker 2:So then was responding to the reel that we put up about how I was like I need to reconnect to nature.
Speaker 1:It was going to with our dating app updates and then was talking about um, with your goodies all on display.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I was like I have great b-roll footage. I'm like, but it's, it was me and nature, so it fit really well um, so he was like I haven't been on dating apps in ages, but every time I think I'm gonna try again. I get PTSD flashbacks and I'm like, please, please, explain to me why Apparently women are really, really forward with the vagina pics. What yes, that's what I said. He's like I cannot imagine what you could Shut up.
Speaker 1:No way, that's like a thing.
Speaker 2:Yes, I did not know either. He said he could be a gynecologist with the amount. No wonder I'm gynecologist with the amount.
Speaker 1:I'm not successful at dating, because I would fucking never what?
Speaker 2:yes, I am literally dumbfounded, right now I had no idea yeah, yeah, um, I don't even know a whole series of people that have been talking to themselves in my inbox. I fucking die so it's like exactly the same and then they decided, yes, to make the horrible leap and send the fort. I'm like, oh, I don't, my shit is so tame compared to that, because I don't, I was gonna say comparatively so.
Speaker 1:I have been on and off dating scenes for a long time because I between fat roger and the cowardly Lion, I was single for five. Why does that make you laugh?
Speaker 2:because I just imagined the Cowardly Lion and Fat Roger. But like you know like they're, they're cartoon parts with you and I just laugh and it's just, but they fit you, it does, it does, it does. Fat Roger also doubles as a turtle ish no, turtle was the best friend, I know that, but he doubled cause they looked very alike. So it's like putting on the well. No, just with the backpack and the hat.
Speaker 1:We got a thing with backpacks.
Speaker 2:Wasn't as bad as I anticipated.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, so funny Okay. We're not going into that. Anyway, it's so funny. Okay, we're not going into that. Anyway, sorry, some things are just for us. Yeah, we can't talk about that yet. Some things are at least in the moment For now. It'll come out later.
Speaker 2:It always does it, always does it always does Only because we always end up getting disappointed. I know.
Speaker 1:Every time, every time it's fine. But at least we're trying to be better. Yes, we're trying to be and we're not. Who asked me for a full body shot? I'm not. I'm not gonna go and hang out with him, okay.
Speaker 2:So this leads to me why he wants you. It bothers me. He really wanted a picture, so there's a bunch of women out there just spreading their goodies around so maybe he just thought it was weird that I didn't like already offer also that person agreed with me Well, not agree with me but also brought it up like what nobody wants to see, that it would be like a male sending his balls, and I'm like that's exactly.
Speaker 1:I literally do not understand the thought process that ends in that decision being just on either side Like just a close up of your vagina. Like OK, why.
Speaker 2:But hold on. I want to know who thinks it's pretty enough for a close up, because I feel like the anatomy is just mine's pretty, I know, but it's just anatomy, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like I don't know that's the thing I have an ego about it's fine.
Speaker 2:I just, I guess, because I'm so vanilla, I'm like, just experience it in person. I don't feel like you need a close-up shot to examine whenever you want.
Speaker 1:So I have sent photos of an inappropriate nature.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you did not do, but I was actively in a relationship with this person and they asked for it. Did you just have just a close-up?
Speaker 1:of no. No, they were like post photos.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yours are very much different. I know what your photos were.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure I sent them to you and him. And I was like is this pretty? Do I look good in this photo?
Speaker 2:I think we took photos together once Sometimes. Yeah, I think we took photos together.
Speaker 1:At one point we did because that's how great he was when I was like yes, I'll ask my and you're just like um sure.
Speaker 2:They were lingerie. They weren't naked we were not naked or inappropriate. We have zero naked photos together that I'm aware of, we have zero.
Speaker 1:Okay, see, we have zero.
Speaker 2:Zero she would know.
Speaker 1:She's the one who has all of the recordings and all of the photos from from forever. You know what's weird.
Speaker 2:No, she's the one who has all of the recordings and all of the photos.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, from forever. You know what's weird?
Speaker 2:It's only me and Alexis and me and you. You know what's funny, but ours are from forever.
Speaker 1:Forever. But we never record. Now, since we've gotten sober, we've hung out so many times.
Speaker 2:I just recorded your talking shit about my energy drink. It's gross and I still am drinking it. It I'm talking shit about my energy drink. It's gross and I still am drinking it. It's almost gone. It tastes like the cider off of the cider brewery floor. You know the smell that's in the cider house. No, it's a little bit like moldy apples. Ew, ew, you didn't like cider. No, I was obsessed Again ADHD, I hyperfixate on shit, the lemon basil cider from one tree is my favorite beverage in the entire world and I can't have it now because I'm sober.
Speaker 1:I literally drank a whole growler of it to myself in one sitting Same.
Speaker 2:Why didn't we do this at the same time? Because you didn't like cider. When we were, we were champagne only. I was a cider girly and you were like vodka or yes, I switched to cider when I was like After you ditched me, you're like fuck this bitch, and now I'm going to drink her drink, Cause that was my fucking drink. Is that how you remembered me? Is that what you? You were sitting there and like, oh, I miss her so much.
Speaker 1:This was when I was. I was in my denial phase that I was an alcoholic. Because we always joked about us being alcoholics. We're like, oh, we're functioning.
Speaker 2:We were To be fair, we really were, but it was the worst time.
Speaker 1:Yes, but I didn't actually believe it. I literally thought it was a joke at that point. And then there was a moment where I had a realization that maybe it wasn't a joke, and so I was like I'll cut back. I won't drink vodka anymore.
Speaker 2:That's one of the signs of alcoholism.
Speaker 1:I am well aware.
Speaker 2:That's actually one of the main signs of being an alcoholic Changing your drinking, the kind or amount that you're not the amount, but changing the kind of liquor that you drink.
Speaker 1:Yes, so I went. That's like the number one.
Speaker 2:Thanks, thanks. Okay, sorry, just wanted to point that out. In case anyone's suffering from, let us know we can help you. We have. I should probably link that.
Speaker 1:That's fair because literally every single time where somebody was like you might have a real problem, I would change when I drink because remember I used to only drink Long Island iced teas.
Speaker 2:Yes, and then you only drink lemonade.
Speaker 1:Only drink lemonade and vodka.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I only drank Moscow mules. And then we only drink champagne and then we only drink champagne, and then we only drink champagne.
Speaker 1:And then after me, and you broke up because that's what it was, that's what it was um I had a moment where I was like, fuck, I might like be bad, so I started drinking cider, because my justification was it was more like beer. I can't drink beer. One it tastes gross. Two I'm allergic. Um, so I was like it's, it'll fill me up, so I won't be able to drink as much it is heavy, especially the lemon basil, but yeah, but I drank a whole growler in one fucking yeah, because it's so good it's so I if someone could make a non-alcoholic version of that like you would be, I couldn't drink it.
Speaker 2:There's too much sugar in it.
Speaker 1:Um, you know what's really good the lemon half lemon basil, half huckleberry no, okay, don't hate, I don't like huckleberry, she doesn't like peanut butter either.
Speaker 2:Come for her, come for her come for her, come for her, send us all the texts, send us all the listen, you're telling people come for me for so many different reasons in this episode.
Speaker 1:Come at me, date me Now. Come at me because I don't like peanut butter. I don't, but I like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Speaker 2:I feel like I can't trust you anymore.
Speaker 1:Then it has to be like a good ratio. Like I have to know there's jelly People that make peanut butter sandwiches. Oh, it has to be the good jelly too. The good jelly, a little bit of jelly, fuck Like the good.
Speaker 2:Jelly like the freezer, jelly like homemade, like freezer jam, like you know, like the thick jam, not like jelly smucker shit.
Speaker 1:I want some jam Rich bitch over here. I will pay for whatever is cheapest.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Well.
Speaker 2:I thought we would share the same jam sentiment.
Speaker 1:I mean, would I prefer it Absolutely?
Speaker 2:Can I afford it?
Speaker 1:Probably probably not. It's from costco. There's one from costco that's like so good place for me because you spend six hundred seven hundred dollars in one round one trip.
Speaker 2:Yes, I just went okay I just like you know what really is.
Speaker 1:You know what chaps my ass that felt so uncomfortable you saying that like nothing could be further from your personality than that fucking phrase.
Speaker 2:I let it roll out so hard too it looks unnatural like it was you forced that.
Speaker 1:That was um video it was um that's.
Speaker 2:I heard that a lot growing up, um, and I was always like okay, um, I don't know if it's because like, yeah, I don't know why, I heard that a lot, my dad rode horses. And, yes, from idaho, from hayden lake, idaho. I'm not born, but definitely raised. Um, what was I gonna?
Speaker 1:say what chaps my ass?
Speaker 2:what are we talking about before adhd? What were we talking about right before that? Because I had something really funny to say.
Speaker 1:Oh, the jam. How? Something about me not liking or not being on the same page about jam I don't know where that got you to. Chaps your ass, shit. What about jam?
Speaker 2:chaps your ass it was something obviously I don't think you would just say that randomly oh my god, it'll come to you randomly in the middle of the night, I'm gonna get a fucking phone call or a text oh my god, we can talk about how we didn't know what to talk, or we didn't know what to call the motorcycle people and I called them pledges. They are prospects. We like that was an episode, I don't know why we couldn't remember that. No, I was so close. I'm like pledge Prospect Because we were drunk and we don't remember from before.
Speaker 1:All the time.
Speaker 2:That whole clubhouse scenario when we hung out with the bikers. I remember that sounds like a really crazy episode with the time we hung out with the bikers and we were drunk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you know what happened. I threw up because I drank so fucking much and I don't remember throwing up because I drank so fucking much that I blacked out and then I woke up. I had to be to work at six o'clock in the morning and I woke up and I'm covered like in vomit my own apparently. And I wake up, doc, and I'm like yo, what happened? And he's like I don't think you want to know. And I was like fuck me, did I do or say things I shouldn't? And he's like, yeah, he's like fuck me, can you take me home? And he's like what? I'm like I have to go to work and I need a shower. It's like 3 30 in the morning.
Speaker 2:I have to be to work at six and we're in the clubhouse and I worked in lake and you had, like you had to get home, so you had like a 40 minute drive home. I had a shower you were already late, at 3 30 yeah, yes, yeah you slept at the clubhouse I passed out at the clubhouse. Doc's like I'll just stay here with her.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, it was a crazy time. Apparently, I took a lot of shots.
Speaker 2:You do that.
Speaker 1:That's the problem. That was part of the problem.
Speaker 2:Because I, you can handle it, though Apparently, until you can't.
Speaker 1:Yes, there's a switch. You need the Cinderella feature, like I have right. So the difference is you just pass out and I fucking black out and keep fucking going yes party girl. Bad, very bad, lots of times, lots of times.
Speaker 2:I literally just go to sleep. It's actually in a very impressive skill it's a much safer option like. Heather's asleep again on the bar. Heather's asleep again on the chair.
Speaker 1:Heather is asleep again on the couch every Airbnb we ever rented, you were the first one to pass out. You're so lucky that we didn't play those games.
Speaker 2:You tucked me in. You tucked me in I tried.
Speaker 1:It was a difficult task. I was wasted. You can hear me slurring. I love that.
Speaker 2:Yes, and if you look right next to the bed.
Speaker 1:There's all like we're going to wake her. I was so drunk.
Speaker 2:We were drunk, it was fun.
Speaker 1:I don't even remember which time that was Like, why we were there.
Speaker 2:We were doing videos or photos for the podcast.
Speaker 2:Oh, that was when you did the fat, fat, fat Roger dance. That was when we tried to open the Magnum bottle of champagne with the butter knife because it wouldn't open and I shoved it in there and was like pounding it on the table. Remember you? Yes, I have video of it. I'm sure we'll release it. I have video my snapchat. The only reason I have snapchat is because, like there's years of our life the funny thing is we've gone through so many different phases of life together.
Speaker 1:Facts like the way that we were when we lived off of sprague yes, that sounds really weird I lived off of clinton and you were off of mccabe yes, they were right next to. We were a block and a half from each other when we very convenient so convenient. Our kids were in the same kindergarten class and so like we tried to be, like we were Cub Scout moms together. When I got stuck.
Speaker 2:You can imagine how that went. There was a lot of crap.
Speaker 1:It was awful. It was awful. I wanted my kids to be Cub Scout so bad, but I wanted.
Speaker 2:I did it for you.
Speaker 1:Well, there were times where I was like, dude, I have no idea, because I didn't know what I was doing, I'm not outdoorsy, look at me, look at me, all right. Because I didn't know what I was doing, I'm not outdoorsy, look at me, Look at me, all right. I am not an outdoorsy queen by any definition.
Speaker 2:No, I actually can pull it off, because I grew up doing all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 1:I grew up in the same area. I was still we would go sledding and. I was like we'd go down once and I'm like I'm going home, I'm cold.
Speaker 2:It's wet, fuck this. See, I grew up like outside, playing in the dirt, like I grew up in Hayden, like also in Deary. We'd go out there all the time Like I was like an outdoor girl.
Speaker 1:Do you know that when we went to the rock slide to?
Speaker 2:Yes For Luke's.
Speaker 1:Yes, that was the first time I had peed outdoors in over three years Shit.
Speaker 2:I had been to those rock slides several times. I was very impressed with you.
Speaker 1:I don't remember a a lot of that I got really drunk for me?
Speaker 2:yes, I did it. That was a big hike, yes, for me. Yeah, I didn't die. Yeah, and I beat outside. Did you slide down the rocks? Yeah, oh, and you didn't break yourself and I did not break myself.
Speaker 2:I know I deserve a medal um, on the way back, I think I oh my god, I tripped on like something and I fell, but I did not spill my, my drink, my white claws. I was going across the it's fine, I like gracefully fell off the log and I'm like it's good, I'm just in the water now, it's fine, and I did not spill my drink the important thing, take care yeah those memories are gone because that GoPro was sold by.
Speaker 1:That's sad. So even though you have video and photos from like lots of times, all of that's gone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have some things that were up in the cloud that I have gotten. But yeah, I know the actual memory cards are gone.
Speaker 1:That's sad.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do we want to update on Johnny Bravo? Yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:This is supposed to be a yes, a little ketchup. So since we talked last, we have gotten updates from people that we know.
Speaker 1:That know, johnny, bravo um well, it's at a point where, like everybody, which is so funny, okay.
Speaker 2:So we chatted about how his car situation kept getting like, like so funny yes like I started getting all these, like you could tell they're delinquent, like, final notice, like you're not paying, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like weird, because he just got this car, whatever anyway. So he didn't have a car when we were together, then got one when we weren't, obviously, and then never paid any payments on it. So then this dumb like I don't know, like if you just lack any intelligence, or like have you never bought in a car before? You don't know how it fucking works?
Speaker 1:I don't know if he's ever paid for one. I don't think so. I don't think so.
Speaker 2:So our friend is a you not like that one.
Speaker 1:I just I just took a drink of the other one, and so that was a lot more flavored.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was just stronger, more powerful this one, I can handle this yes, it was just the changeover was intense it is sorry.
Speaker 2:A lot more flavor, um, I didn't for your viewing pleasure I didn't mean to derail you uh. So then our friend who is a car salesman was like, hey, you would not believe who came in, your ex. And I'm like, oh fuck, that's funny. And I'm like, well, let me know what kind of car he gets, because so that you can be on the lookout because he stalks me and I have a restraining order so yes, um, he was looking at like an old black benz.
Speaker 2:But uh, shocker, when your car is in repossession status, you can't trade it in. So he did not get a new vehicle and he lied about it and was like, oh, I just want to trade the car in to get something new. Like no, motherfucker, they're looking for that car because you don't own it and that's so weird.
Speaker 1:And his address is still apparently here, because stuff keeps getting sent here.
Speaker 2:Yes, well, he did give, like his new address or whatever I think, to them, which then they gave his new address to the car people.
Speaker 2:So then hopefully, hopefully his car gets free and I stopped getting the notices because he doesn't live here. He does not live here, um his car. Well, obviously you can't not pay on a vehicle, but I want to know, like what did you think that like okay, vehicles come with like titles and you run the vin number and you can tell like who owns it, like if it's a bank or like whatever? So you can't just like walk in somewhere and be like, oh, here's this car, I'm gonna get a new car, you take it. It doesn't work like that.
Speaker 2:It doesn't work like that and it's't. I don't understand the way some people's brains work cause at first I was like, oh, he has like shit credit, he'll never get a car. And then our friends like, uh, we sell cars to guys or people with crack pipes hanging out of their mouth.
Speaker 1:So literally. There's literal places designed for, yes, for anybody, for those people.
Speaker 2:So he's and this place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he got turned down because you can't be like in straight default in repossession like that turns you down, says everything everything they're like we will literally give a car to anybody except fucking you, yeah, except you okay and janessa said the karma would come back around and then we hear about it.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it would be public, because that's the whole thing, everything.
Speaker 1:This is all public record, so much you can look all of it up and then we heard from our other friend who ended up going.
Speaker 2:Oh, by the way, ladies, he is at chrome now because that's like the only place without a bunch of top gun people at it. So, um, our friends were there and saw him and he hid in the corner he made eye contact and then he hid, and then hid in the corner.
Speaker 1:Did not one exercise the whole time that they were there for 45 minutes so funny, so funny and you know that that's hiding, because, okay, let's say allegedly, oh, and they said he's fat, like his tank top was, like his chub was hanging over.
Speaker 2:say allegedly, oh, and they said he's fat, like his tank top was like his chub was hanging over and he looked so bad. I'm like, yeah, he's like what was up with the chub hanging over the too tight tank top?
Speaker 1:I'm like that's the same with Cowardly Lion After we broke up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was drinking a lot.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yep lot, yes, I, yes, yep, all the updates. Yes, I have been advised, because here's the thing we do not actively seek out updates?
Speaker 2:no, they just come to us people.
Speaker 1:For some reason, when you and I no, this isn't always thing people when you, when you break up with somebody, your circle is bound and determined to find all the horrible things about that person and let you know about it. When me and the in prison, aaron carter, split up and remember when he got that tattoo that said I love lacy all big yes after we broke up that's so wild, you want to know how I heard about it from somebody else from my dad's boss.
Speaker 1:That's so random Because people get invested and my dad told his boss what was going on because my dad was helping me with like getting evidence and the court stuff and all the things. Him and my oldest sister were helping me with that and so he told his boss what was going down and I had him blocked. He's still blocked. He's been blocked since the moment we broke up and so my dad's boss was digging, fucking digging Facebook stalking, found the photo, sent it to my dad, who then sent it to me and I'm like dude, that's deep, like I don't even know his boss that's good, that's good like people want to know yes, and they want you to know.
Speaker 2:It's crazy yeah, weird experience it is, but I mean I'm here for all to hear all the karma we want to know.
Speaker 1:Tell us, please, please, keep giving us hilarious.
Speaker 2:And then you can share the update that we saw in the court records, because there was new court stuff updated, of course we follow the court documents right, obviously.
Speaker 1:Why would we not at this point? He's trying to get permission to leave. I don't, there was two places right, pullman, pullman. Oh, apparently he has to have hernia surgery, but then that also begs the question then why was he at the gym working out, if he has to have hernia surgery because it's a lie, possibly and then also to go to seattle for work? But per the conditions of I don't know of the court, whatever you call it, he's not supposed to go anywhere. Heather got up and left me. You guys, where did you go? Her little bodybuilder bladder, that's fair. We drink a lot of fluids. When we hang out. We always joke about being beverage goblins because we always have multiple beverages. I don't know why that is a thing, but it is a thing Like the power of choice. We always have multiple beverages. I don't know why that is a thing, but it is a thing Like the power of choice.
Speaker 2:We always have to have choices. And yeah, I'm also like under nine weeks out now, eight and a half weeks out from show. My carbs are very little. I'm surviving on liquids and to fill my stomach, so it's like I just drink a lot of fluids. So, yeah, I barely make it through an hour without having to.
Speaker 1:I don't know how you do it. Are you excited or are you nervous?
Speaker 2:I'm very excited, but prep is definitely prepping and I'm starting to feel the energy slump and but it's okay is that normal part of the progression?
Speaker 1:oh yeah, do you get your energy back or not? Until after the show not until after.
Speaker 2:Seriously, you're nine weeks out yeah, I mean it's centered around like meal times, like I'll eat something when we're done with this and I'll have a little more energy for the next one that we record, um, and then like right before I work out, but yeah, no, I've like I'll be good for like an hour and a half, two hours after I eat max, and then I'm just like need more food, I, I need carbs and my body is really really tired.
Speaker 1:Well, you're go, go, go, go, go. Yes.
Speaker 2:And then the workouts. I do five leg days a week. I was just in Boise and I worked out there and here worked out, and so, yeah, it is all the things, and we can hold on for one second just in case. No, doing mom things. Lacey got a, got a son text and actually we can totally wrap it up here. Cool, because we're at time and we will talk to you next week, guys. Bye.