we are NOT the SAME
We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos!
we are NOT the SAME
The Co-Star Confessional: When Your Horoscope Calls You Out
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Have you ever had an app read your soul so accurately you felt personally attacked? That's exactly what happened when we dove into astrology through the Co-Star app in this unplanned but revealing episode.
What started as casual conversation about recent life changes quickly transformed into a cosmic deep dive when we began exploring our astrological profiles. The app didn't just tell us generic horoscopes—it called us out on our specific patterns, from relationship sabotage to career self-sabotage, with such precision we couldn't help but laugh (and occasionally gasp) at the accuracy.
Through our astrological explorations, we uncovered profound insights about ourselves. One of us learned about the walls built to protect against emotional vulnerability, while the other confronted tendencies to chase multiple dreams without completing any. We discussed how these patterns have shaped our approaches to love, work, and personal growth. The app even predicted specific dates for potential life changes, leaving us both skeptical yet curious enough to mark our calendars.
Perhaps most powerful was our conversation about what it means to be the "main character" in our own lives. The contrast between standing in the spotlight versus empowering others illuminated different but equally valid ways of claiming our importance in the world. These revelations felt especially meaningful as we reflected on our ongoing healing journeys and recent growth.
Whether you're an astrology enthusiast or skeptic, this episode offers a window into how external perspectives—even from an app—can sometimes reflect truths we already know but haven't fully acknowledged. Join us for laughter, vulnerability, and cosmic validation as we continue our season focused on healing and self-discovery. Follow along with our astrological journey and let us know if the stars have ever read you this accurately!
-
two we are not the same, but are we? In next episode we're gonna dive into our astrological signage astrological.
Speaker 1I said that very yeah, that's what we're doing, very pronounced um, we're doing that next episode.
Speaker 2Uh, but this episode we have something fun. But I do have to know are you not so proud of us everyone?
Speaker 1all the episodes going up in order look at us on time yes, and I'm even three days out from show currently you're doing so great because you pre-scheduled releases and that was the smartest decision I know. I just sat down. Why have we not been?
Speaker 2doing because, can I tell you something, I am no longer teaching classes which was my time least okay. People are like why? And I'm like, okay, listen, listen, we're going to talk about why, really quick, why, you can hear me, right, I'm good I can hear you, yeah, um, why I no longer do classes is because it was the oh, this sounds better. It was the least money making stream and the most time consuming considering, and it was one that I felt obligated to because I love but no longer at move.
Speaker 1So and you are.
Speaker 2Let me just say you're so good at it, yes, and you're really good at dg, so I will do pop-ups, I will do like my own thing again, like I you know, but nothing like you're not going to find me 12 times a week, you're never gonna find me 12 times a week. Uh, at your local move? No, not happening, um, but I am filming the new warrior strength coming up tonight. Actually, we're zoom rehearsing for that. Um, where are you filming that one?
Speaker 1always in eugene okay, that's what I thought I was gonna say. Don't you always go to work? Yes, in flashbox studio.
Speaker 2So I will be doing that. So I will be hosting um a few pop-ups and things like that. But yeah, so now there's more time for me to devote into taking uh lifestyle clients online and in person. Um, so I have an application open for that. I will be taking a few people um, you want to know.
Speaker 1It's really funny what the second I told you I wanted to lose seven pounds. You're like, I'm gonna make you a meal plan and I'm gonna send it to you yes, and I was like but I really need to work on, like my shoulder strength and you're like awesome, what, what equipment do you have at home? I'm like I have resistance bands Great, I'm going to make a workout plan for you. Yes, because you were so just like boom, boom, boom on it, you're like I already know what I already know what you need.
Speaker 2I will take care of it moment. It was like you beat, you know, like doing what you do, and it was just. It was cute. I really enjoyed it. It's my passion, it's like what I love so much, and so it's like not like work.
Speaker 1So I want to do more of that for me, and that's the same bitch, because oh, I know, it's just good for you I have gone to multiple of your classes. Yes, you have, and almost died.
Speaker 2Yes, well, even with doing like the revised one modification is just as hard that is true, because sometimes you're holding longer and, like I do have to say, a tempo lift is harder than just an, all you know, give it all you got left. So when you have to hold things for a long time and slowly do them can be way worse. Yeah, it's that time under tension, but I've done it. Yes, I did it. Yes, alright, stay tuned for Lacey's progress on that. Now that we told everybody it's going to be like accountability.
Speaker 1Damn it. Why did I say it out?
Speaker 2loud and if anyone wants to reach out and try it, I do utilize the trainer eyes app, so we will have an app that we get to talk through and have all your workouts.
Speaker 1I don't know. I'm allowed to say but yeah, janessa, you and Janessa, yeah, we trade.
Speaker 2We trade. So she does my body work, I do her lifestyle.
Speaker 1It's a good trade. Yeah, it is, it's a good trade.
Speaker 2It is great and I love it. She's amazing.
Speaker 1I do her books and she gives me messages.
Speaker 2She's gone through three different levels now of progression, so three. We started at a baseline and then moved her programming up and up again. She started at macros and then we've introduced some meal plans and then kind of gone back and forth to what works best for her in her life.
Speaker 1And plans and then kind of gone back and forth um to what you works best for her in her life and it's nice because she can schedule her workouts around her week and things like that.
Speaker 2So, and it's just nice because she doesn't have. That app is so great for some people. Hey, if you like to check boxes, it's like here's your workout, here's how you're gonna do it, here's a video, um, and you enter it in and it will track your progress, adhd, because we're like I want to mark something off my to-do list.
Speaker 1That would be amazing. Is this why I like?
Speaker 2bodybuilding.
Speaker 1So much because I love checking on my boxes.
Speaker 2Things off, yes, I'm like yes, cardio done, which we're in peak week. We're three days out. Cardio is only 25 minutes a day, which was was really nice. Carbs were increased by 40 today, but I am I have more carbs, so we're kind of. We took feedback as coming in fuller, so we've been. We've been decreasing the cardio and increasing food, so we're coasting on in. It's a different prep than I've ever had before.
Speaker 1But I love this prep because you're different. During this prep there was a point, last prep there was just're different during this prep.
Speaker 2There was a point and there may be a point again and you just have to support.
Speaker 1You seem much um calmer um. Can I just say there's points where you have to really grind angry, yes, and it's part of the sport and we choose this.
Speaker 2But there are points where that was the only time I've ever felt like that, and I do know now to be careful about scheduling things around, but I felt good enough to do this one, and you know maybe not and that's part of, you know, not doing the classes, because that was really hard to do all those classes, but that doesn't alter your routine no prep, no so you had to do that in addition to and that I think that really just was too much and there was times where I would just coach through.
Speaker 2But yeah, still the energy that you have to give as a group X instructor, you have to give it all and there's some drains.
Speaker 1You're so professional and so it's an experience to get to go to one of your classes. I'm sad that people won't get to.
Life Changes and Career Shifts
Speaker 2They will, but it's going to be more like it's going to be pop ups, and I've already had a few offers of like one time a week. So if I ever want to do one a week I would. But I'm going to do pop ups as I want to and stay tuned because there is, like some, you know, you can have me at home on your TV doing classes with a library type thing, so then you can have me anytime I love that for you, so I didn't know.
Speaker 1I'm learning about this in real time.
Speaker 2Yes it's, it's taking off, so one it'll be launched once um.
Speaker 1I guess all the videos yeah I, it will hard launch it is that why you've been doing so many recordings, or is this separate?
Speaker 2This is separate.
Speaker 1Because I feel like you've done a lot of recording this year.
Speaker 2Yes, that's separate. That is for the actual videos for Warrior Strength. So I am talent team for Warrior Strength, so I'm on the videos, which are these are the videos. If you become an instructor, a warrior instructor, and you get new choreography and new curriculum, you will see my face as your amplifier. And then I do there's several um, I do co-teach. Do I co-teach? No, I do teach on a warrior rhythm. Yes, a warrior rhythm, warrior strength. You're gonna see my face all over the videos, um, and so that's what those are, and but this will be like I'm leading your workout from the comfort of your own home. You're going to log in through your browser.
Speaker 1It's a whole thing, it's a library peloton kind of yes, that's the only point of reference like yes, it's just not through an app, it's just through a link video, so you'll you'll be able to log in, so I will have set times like I'm gonna work out this day.
Speaker 2This time you can do it live. You're gonna work out a lot or if you can't make it you can click that on later and then you have all of the old yes and then all the workouts will be saved in a library bank. So here I am, and then I'll just be one girl so there we go, and then you can have me I okay from the comfort of your.
Speaker 1I know we're not even talking about our topic, but I'm still going to keep going with what we're talking about.
Speaker 2I love this.
Speaker 1Because one of the things that I'm so proud of you for is, like the second you got rid of Johnny Bravo. You went full back into like who you are Do you know what I mean? Like you've always had this drive and this ambition and and this capability about you. Like that's one of the things that I've always loved about you is like thank you and you can get other people to do things that they don't want to do like it's a fucking skill you make me do so much shit I didn't want to do, but like I was grateful that I did it.
Speaker 2Yeah, and you liked it? Yeah, I don't, I'm a good. I won't say I liked it.
Speaker 1I liked you.
Speaker 2It was an experience. We had fun.
Speaker 1Yes, and you fed me yes, gave me beverages all kinds of beverages at that point in time they were alcoholic yes, yes, but like you've always like, pushed yourself to, like when we did the or when you did the beach body, and like how hard you push it and how hard you worked it. And like you've always like, lived it right, you've always given it your all. And then, stupid ass men not all of you, don't, don't come at me. But, like you know, the stupid ass men not all of you, don't, don't come at me. But, like you know, the stupid ass men that come in who sees a girl shining, shining, fucking bright. That's why they're attracted, because it's like fucking moths to a flame. But then they want to put the fucking flame out and it bothers me so bad. And like I told you multiple times that like he was holding you back. And look at all that's happened in such a short amount of time since he's been gone. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1Like he's not holding you back anymore and you're just rocketing and like getting on the path that you should have been on the whole time, and I'm just really proud of you, thank you, you're welcome time and I'm just really proud of you.
Speaker 2oh, thank you, you're welcome. Um, this could be validation, for tisa totally told me that everything that I touch in the future, now, after getting rid of that dead weight, um will just prosper and like turn to gold, where everything johnny bravo touches will just implode in his face continuously um by the way I keep getting collection notices and I'm like this is wild.
Speaker 2Why are they still coming to my house? It's an odd thing to keep sending to your ex that has a restraining order against you that is currently going to court. Why am I getting all your collection bills?
Speaker 1Because he doesn't want them to know where he lives, because they keep re-bowing his phone.
Speaker 2Oh, at this point I don't even think he's allowed to have a cell phone.
Speaker 1His cell phone is like I'm like I don't know why people keep giving him things. It boggles my mind because they're like I would. I would be so mortified if I ever had something repossessed like I have a hundred percent on time payment history with my fucking credit Cause I'm so scared to be late.
Speaker 2Same I don't pay late.
Speaker 1I pay shit early. I am months in advance on my car payment.
Speaker 2I'm like that auto pay person, just because then I know it comes out.
Speaker 1I hate auto pay. I only do it if there is a benefit to my percentage rate.
Speaker 2Okay, one day we'll have to have a Lacey Talks finance talk.
Speaker 1I love finances I get all nerdy about it. It's stupid. We're not the same Also.
Speaker 2I just noticed our nails are not the same. I got new ones for stage today. And they're all white and classic and beautiful, and mine look like a 1990s wind jumper I was going to.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, they do. That's my inspo.
Speaker 2Yes, we'll take a picture and post. We should.
Speaker 1The side by side.
Speaker 2Yes, mine are for stage, but you know Yours are pointy.
Speaker 1Mine are square. They're very different.
Speaker 2Very different and my toes are always white.
Speaker 1My toes are never done.
Speaker 2Okay, we're not the same. I haven't had a pedicure in over a year. I feel like this should be your astro, astrological topic. I was like saying it, I don't know astrology, but then astrological, and I wanted to say astrology and then my brain wanted to say it all crazy again. Um, this should be our astrology episode why not?
Speaker 1we never even said what the other title was supposed to be so because I think it would just pivot okay because I think flow better.
Exploring Astrology Through Co-Star
Speaker 2Um, we are okay. So welcome to our astrology podcast where I've been loving co-star.
Speaker 1I made lacy get it yes, you made me get it today. I didn't even know what it was it like tells me a lot of things.
Speaker 2That was what I read you the other day about like burning bridges and not talking to people that came from that and you're like, oh god, yeah, that's fucking you like that track does should I just say it, it's kind of funny, it is okay. So co-star kind of calls you out. It was, it's funny, okay. So my day at a glance on monday this is being unreliable is very unfriendly. You make promises and moments of enthusiasm then vanish when your mood shifts. Can I say prep?
Speaker 1but that also is me okay, no, no, okay, you do run away, though, like we have.
Speaker 2Oh, I actually physically run away too there was a time, like when I would drink and I would actually run away. You know those videos that you see on like instagram, where the girls like girls, just fucking get up and run away where they find their drunk friend, like on the little bike with like taco bell yes and like, and they're like how did you get here? And she's like no, and she's running, and she's running away, yeah, and they're like how did she get here? And then she's like yeah, I'm like, was this me?
Speaker 1yes, literally because the burrito thing is a real fucking thing for you.
Speaker 2I still will exit any situation and leave. If there's drama, uncomfortable, uncomfiness or anything like that, I'm like, I'm out or if it gets to midnight, oh, before midnight my bedtime now like I have to be in my bed now.
Speaker 2I am a full-on bodybuilder. Love this life, love everything about it. It used to be. I would literally pass out by midnight. Um, now I have to be in my bed by nine o'clock with all my skincare and my creamy like well, I physically get into bed around nine if I'm home, but I don't go to sleep.
Speaker 2I need to be like going to sleep by 9 at this point, because I get up early to work out, to do all the things I was up to check in this morning to I got my lift. Look, I knew we were podcasting so I was like, alright, I'll lift, I'll get my cardio in up at 545. That's even kind of later. I slept in a little bit, which my whoop is like you're not.
Speaker 1545 is when I get up for work.
Speaker 2Okay, so let's sleep in a little bit for me, because I was getting up at 430 during the throws of when we had lots of cardio. No, but absolutely fucking not Um, yes, also, you don't know this, but you're going to look at all the outfits that I have for a photo shoot tomorrow before you leave so that's fun.
Speaker 2Don't let me forget that I'm so good with that, okay, so also never finish this. So when your mood shifts, you vanish pattern repeats. People notice your disappearing. Acts aren't freedom, they're burning bridges. But here's the thing you just burned a bridge, oh yeah, I don't care, though, because sometimes they need to be burned.
Speaker 1But that's why you're so comfortable. I don't know.
Speaker 2I feel like boundaries now because things have happened. Ok, so then another one. So this is mine for today. So they go into. Like things, this actually is very relevant. Um, okay this, so it's a. You're allowed to ask a couple different questions on here I don't know if I'm here. Did you ask any questions?
Speaker 1I have no idea. Apparently I already had an account and everything I know you did.
Speaker 2Oh wait, this is this is the coaster thingy you did. You did have a pattern, so you I don't know what I'm supposed to go to? Oh, enter the void. Okay, enter the void. Now you can ask it three different questions. So my questions, let's ask them, okay, so?
Speaker 1I'll tell you which ones I did.
Speaker 2Yeah, so I did the. Is this my season? Oh, it's under self.
Speaker 1Do I have different questions than you? Maybe do I have different questions than you.
Speaker 2maybe um, well, I oh yeah, you do weird. You should say you should ask if you're chaotic. Okay, I asked if is this my season and do you want to hear it? Of course I do. Okay, so I am in Aries. By the way, april 6th. It says no, this is not your moment to shine. Your chart shows.
Speaker 1That's not great right before a competition.
Speaker 2Listen. Okay, calm down. You got to finish listening before you chime in. Okay, so your chart shows you're in a backroom phase. Okay, but can we also talk about the amazing athletes that I'm going to be on stage?
Speaker 1with, I know, At this point at the pro level.
Speaker 2but not only that at the pro level and when you get here, it is no longer about you trying to beat somebody else. It is showing up a better version than last time, than what you brought to the stage last time taking the feedback and applying it. That's all that it is.
Speaker 1It becomes a game of you against you, and that is all there is, and it's a weird sense of calm because that's a healthier form of competition, in my opinion.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's no longer like I am looking forward to being with these amazing athletes on stage and learning from them exactly and to get more feedback and to apply it next, so anyways. So when I did my initial thought, exactly your words when I first read this. I was like I'm gonna ask, but you know what I also. Okay, we're gonna keep reading because I really yes, and I'm gonna keep reading.
Speaker 2And then it's kind OK, and I get this and I feel this. I feel this is a time of OK, we'll just keep reading. Ok, so your chart shows you're in a backroom phase, what feels like waiting, but it's actually building. With your son in the 12th house and Saturn in the 8th, everything meaningful happens out of sight. Now you're dismantling a un excuse me, undated, outdated beliefs, preparing for what? If I can read, I took a screenshot and it's small for when planets activate your pisces cluster. I don't know a lot about that. We should ask janessa more about those things, but we're gonna learn together. Also, this is new for us, but we're interested. Um, this isn't failure. It's foundation work, which I love.
Speaker 1That's a great thing to remind yourself of.
Speaker 2Yes, I'm like OK, because I am in a building phase of my life in so many things. So this isn't failure, it's foundation work. Your season comes when you finish this necessary clearing. Stop looking for external confirmation. The breakthrough happens when you stop treating those quiet months as lost time. Oh, and then it was super dark, right, right, does that not sound okay? So now let's hear what yours is.
Speaker 1It does it does not. Call you out a little bit, it's a little scary right, okay, so if anyone wants to get co-star, let's.
Speaker 2We want to hear what yours says. Uh-oh, are you chaotic?
Speaker 1no, I love your face right now.
Speaker 2You're like I don't know.
Speaker 1Keep reading.
Speaker 2I actually don't think you're chaotic. I think you attract chaos, but let's see.
Speaker 1Am I chaotic? You're not chaotic, you are controlled chaos.
Speaker 2I like that. That's so true too.
Speaker 1Everything serves a purpose. When life gets too predictable predictable, you burn it down and dance in the flames. Your finances mirror your emotions, that's so true. I spend all my money when I'm manic every fucking dime and then I get super fucking depressed and then I'm sitting in a dark room with all the shit yeah, yes, okay yeah, but anyways, you've seen that meme where it's the grim reaper riding the unicorn floaty. That's me, yes, that's me.
Deep Insights About Love and Capability
Speaker 2I think I used to be like a shopping salt. It still does human, am I kidding? Yeah, keep going.
Speaker 1Intense cycles of reckless abandon, followed by periods of strict control. You crave stability but suffocate under its weight. The chaos is your armor. Your reputation as unpredictable keeps people at a safe distance. Stability feels like death, but chaos exhausts you deep down. You know it was never about freedom, it was always about protection.
Speaker 2I feel fucking attacked I know, aren't you glad that we did? This no okay, we get three. You get a total of three for free. We're not buying the premium we're not going into the premium, but you have two more questions hold on.
Speaker 1I gotta screenshot that so I can cry later.
Speaker 2I know right, I did too aren't you glad I decided to do this? I didn't really tell you about it because I wanted you to be fully mean oh wait, and honest, okay. So the next one I asked am I capable of love? Oh god, okay, let's see. If yours says that, why do I have different questions?
Speaker 1because we're on different journeys and we're different people and this shit's targeted as fuck like that.
Speaker 2Am I in love with my best friend? No, don't waste a question.
Speaker 1Heather, don't waste a question. Okay, fine, I love you. I'm not in love with you. I'm'm not going to marry you. I'm sorry, why is?
Speaker 2there. Should I still be sleeping with my ex?
Speaker 1on yours.
Speaker 2That was not on mine.
Speaker 1Will I find? I know the answer to that as well.
Speaker 2Well, you don't have the. Am I capable of love which harsh? I have will I find my person? Okay do that one, but, by the way, that's going to hurt. That's going to hurt. Well, mine is. Am I capable of love Apparently? Like we're on different paths. Completely, you're capable. It's like Heather, are you capable? Let's see.
Speaker 1Yeah, because you don't feel bad when you burn bridges. And I like vomit because I care too much.
Speaker 2I never burned a bridge, I just cut it off, lop it off. I don't know you anymore.
Speaker 1It's called burning a bridge.
Speaker 2I don't know what to tell you. That's literally what it is okay. Capacity isn't the issue. Activation is. Your taurus venus is naturally wired for profound connection, but past wounds have created blockage until july 29th. Jupiter to your venus forms cracks in this armor, making genuine exchange possible for the first time in years what's gonna happen july 29th?
Speaker 1hey, you travel a bunch, but between now and then maybe you're gonna meet someone this okay, so there's gonna be.
Speaker 2I'll be able to have actual, genuine connection for the first time in years. It's also been five years. The five-year death anniversary is coming up.
Speaker 1It is very fitting.
Speaker 2That's so weird. The question isn't whether you can love. It's why you believe otherwise. By September 16th, you'll confront evidence that contradicts this doubt entirely. This hesitation stems from trauma, not biology. Love isn't a skill to acquire. It's your default setting, currently obstructed by faulty programming. Fix the system, then press play, holy fuck I'm a little freaked out right now.
Speaker 1That's crazy, right we? Okay, you need to mark that date on your calendar and we need to do a check-in on september 16th and july, 29th and july 29th and see okay, I screenshot mine.
Speaker 2So what isn't this wild?
Speaker 1this is wild.
Speaker 2I do think part of it is like if you're but why is it so crazy, accurate, wait till it goes into the blocks on? I'm going to show you why. It says in relationships you're blocked. You're going to be like okay, ok, well, I mean, we block them, block them. Well, I know, it's like it was like oh, it's literally your thing.
Speaker 1Block them.
Speaker 2Block them. It is. It's only because I feel like my energy is cleansed, when I no longer allow, because I don't have to think about it. You don't have to think about it, we're just free. If it was never a big deal, yeah, now if I, I try to track your ass down, if I, like you know what I mean. Like there's only certain circumstances, like, if I do it it's just because I have to, sorry.
Speaker 1I wish that I was brave enough to just be able to like. I worry so bad about what other? People think, but I do think, after this whole ketamine thing, I think I'm I feel better. I feel a lot better about a lot of things, and I feel like maybe it is helping me create space for myself, which is something that I really need to do.
Speaker 2So I see my field. If I create about that, mine is. If I create like boundaries or I say something and you come back with something that I feel is not beneficial like beneficial to me my healing or energy yeah, I'm just going to block it.
Speaker 1I'm just going to block it because I don't have enough time, because I could die tomorrow and I'm not going to waste, I'm going to work on it. I do have a lot of people on my blocked list on Facebook.
Speaker 2I do block creepy men it wasn't until the near death experience and Luke dying to where I literally could say I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2I don't give a fuck what anybody says, or thinks because I know at any moment in time I could die, my kids could, something awful could happen, and why would I waste one second on anybody who does not matter to me? I just don't Like anyone's opinion anybody's opinions or thoughts are their own and it does not change anything about me, the people that I care about. I value their opinion, but even then I don't like take too much.
Speaker 1I think we are two ends of different extremes, I care what my coach thinks. I think somewhere in between us is what's healthy oh, I think it's healthy to some.
Speaker 2Sometimes it is healthy to block because if I care, I care all the way it's just once I'm done, all right, tell me how it is okay. Uh, will I find my person? Yes, heather Gardner.
Speaker 1Stop. It does not say that my version did, but only during a specific window. That's scary. Late June through early September opens the magnetic field between your Scorpio intensity and Capricorn need for security.
Speaker 2See, we need to ask Janessa what all that weird? I know Screenshot and send it to her.
Speaker 1Intensity and Capricorn need for security, See we need to ask Janessa what all that weird stuff means. I don't know what that means.
Speaker 2Screenshot and send it to her.
Speaker 1August 19th through 28th marks your most potent period.
Speaker 2Oh my gosh, August 19th what?
Speaker 1is August 19th for you, luke's birthday.
Speaker 2Shut up? No way, that's weird.
Speaker 1It is. Yeah, that's weird. August 19th through 28th I'm going to be in Colorado for half of that time.
Speaker 2Bitch you. Better not move to Colorado.
Speaker 1I don't want to move to.
Speaker 2Colorado. I told you you're going to find a long distance boyfriend and it's going to work out. That's like the best solution for you. You know who lives in Colorado. No, new person.
Speaker 1But your response indicates yes, you do know who I do, but you person um, yes, new person, I'm not going, I'm not actively speaking to said person who lives in colorado. I'm I'm being good we're over that we're over that, uh, okay. So august 19th through 28th marks your most potent period, when venus validates your cancer son's call for belonging. You've been constructing an elaborate blueprint of what partnership should look like.
Speaker 2That's fair, oh my gosh, it's true. That's fucking fair and we've been working. Actually, we have like a whole diary on these podcasts where you've been working through trauma healing and what you want. You even set boundaries. You ended the lemon situation. I ended the lemon.
Speaker 1I've determined. I know that smoking's a no-go for me. Yeah, I have and cat pee. And please don't offer me drugs all the time, why, oh?
Speaker 2my God, why does everybody offer me drugs? You cannot take recreational mushrooms. By the way, nobody takes recreational mushrooms.
Speaker 1Okay, you don't get a call at microdosing when you're taking in a handful at a time.
Speaker 2That's not microdosing Actually we are going to do a whole episode on microdosing because I have done it.
Speaker 1It is actually incredibly valuable.
Speaker 2It's a great tool, by the way, microdosing is 0.1 to 0.2 grams ground up per capsule per day. Four days on three days off, or one week on two weeks off, yep, depending on your. No more than that. You start with a 0.1 and you can put some lion's mane and anyways, we're gonna go over the whole thing how you actually deviate.
Speaker 1Yes, yes, but yeah, we're gonna have an episode about it. Okay, there's a whole list. Okay, you've been struck in an elaborate blueprint of what partnership should look like. Make room for deviations. That's frightening. Intellectual matching matters as much as emotional depth. That's fucking true. Why do I date dumb boys? I need to be able to have a conversation with somebody.
Speaker 2And yet you really want a conversation with someone. I also find that the same. I find it very hard to explain things to people. I just think they should already know.
Speaker 1So it's hard for me. I'm not great at the conversation.
Speaker 2I also want to know that sometimes I'm going to shut my brain off and you're going to be able to think for both of us. I don't want to all the time I have to think.
Speaker 1That's fair uh, look for the person who challenges your rigid thinking while tolerating your emotional fluctuations. I don't think somebody can. That's a lot to ask of another person. I volunteer no, they'll arrive unexpectedly. That means it's not you.
Speaker 2To be fair, I'm kidding. You have to accept it.
Speaker 1I have. I have to be fair, I'm kidding, I am kidding, I have, I have. They'll arrive unexpectedly through work or study, rather than traditional dating scenes well, I don't do traditional dating scenes anymore at all it's going to be a random job that you take.
Speaker 2Maybe it's going to be dashing, maybe door.
Speaker 1Oh, I do I do door dash now because I'm poor. That would be a weird way, how that would be a weird way to meet somebody Organically though I dropped off food at this person's house and they said hi Like what?
Speaker 2And you guys started talking and they fell in love with your intellectual mind Shut up and your drive, because you have to do. You just have the drive to do all the jobs.
Speaker 1Literally, and then, yeah, all the jobs.
Speaker 2Literally yeah.
Speaker 1Okay, that's actually frightening to me, because I don't think I am ready to meet somebody, because it's always not great, not worth it, what's your third question Will I be successful? Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 2Do you have that one one?
Speaker 1I feel like you're already successful. I feel like you don't give yourself enough credit for the sex. Yeah, this one just this one just calls me out, and it's funny for the fact that you already are successful and you don't give yourself credit.
Personality Revelations and Patterns
Speaker 2I think the only thing- the only thing holding me back fully from being as successful as I want to be now. This is more like you uh yeah, but it's like. It definitely is like oh yeah, that makes sense. Do you have this one? What's it under work?
Speaker 1or yeah, should I go to clown school?
Speaker 2shut the fuck up you're deathly afraid of clowns. I hate clowns so much why is that a serious question option? I didn't have that one. I didn't have that one at all. You're on love. You should put back to it.
Speaker 1No, no, no. Sorry, it was the work one, literally. Question two Should I go to clown school? How is that a legitimate option?
Speaker 2How do you have? Should I save money, or is the world just going to burn down before I retire?
Speaker 1Shut up. That is not an option. Yes, oh my God, that is an option.
Speaker 2Mine was should I become a clown, do you see, should?
Speaker 1I become a clown. Do you see the fucking different tones of the questions that we have available to ask?
Speaker 2I am so blown away Like I just want it. We're going to go back to something else.
Speaker 1Yeah, we're not picking any of those. No, those are bad.
Speaker 2I just coughed right into the microphone. Sorry, either what's my type or who am I really looking for. Let's go for what's your type.
Speaker 1Okay.
Speaker 2Okay, let's do it. Okay, so mine was okay. Mine Will I be successful? You see what others miss. Your mind spots, patterns, connects, dots, people are pipelines to opportunity. You know this, yet you sabotage yourself weekly with grand schemes that never launch. Your imagination builds empires, while your doubt keeps you broke. You burn out, chasing five different dreams simultaneously, then wonder why success didn't follow. Stop confusing potential with achievement. The only thing standing between you and what you call success isn't talent. It's your inability to finish something before starting the next fantasy.
Speaker 1I wish we were recording right now, because my fucking face Right Girl, is it the ADHD that's? Fucking powerful, though, and the simple fact literally the past couple episodes I don't remember how long ago it was we literally talked about how much, how busy we are, how much and we've been finally clearing out and doing all this stuff and we're both starting to reduce and realize that it's important to like, not just fucking.
Speaker 1I think we need this app like we need to look at it every day and send it to each other and see people starting to reduce and realize that it's important to like, not just fucking be going a million.
Speaker 2I think we need this app, like we need to look at it every day and send it to each other and see what's going on, because it's actually like creepily accurate. I'm freaked out slightly oh, although mine, to say mine today, said to not do microphones, and here we are in the microphone, so I'm so glad that we're making adjustments based off of it.
Speaker 1Okay, ready, ready. What is your type? What is my type? You don't want easy dates. You want the impossible combination Someone wild enough to challenge you, stable enough to not leave. You've been burned by both extremes. The wanderers left, the homebodies bored you to death. You need a partner who reckons with your darkness without flinching, someone who's seen the worst and stayed anyway. Not a savior, that's important, just a match. If they can handle your contradictions without trying to fix them, they'll get your attention. Sane people terrify you. Crazy ones who pretend to be sane are tempting disasters do you feel like we've been?
Speaker 1called that. I mean, yes, crazy ones who pretend to be sane are tempting disasters. I, when people ask me what happened with lemon, that is what I'm gonna tell people what happened I love that did you screenshot that. That is my new answer of why I'm single.
Speaker 2I'm literally wheezing.
Speaker 1I don't think this is entirely accurate, though, because I have never been left. I do the leaving. It takes forever for me to do the leaving, but I don't have abandonment issues with men leaving me. They don't have abandonment issues with like men leaving me.
Speaker 2They don't leave me um, we talked about your.
Speaker 1We talked about early on in childhood, you, yeah that's where my abandonment comes from but I'm just saying like I've never the one guy that broke up with me um, I broke up with him four days beforehand, remember and then he convinced me not be like physical abandonment, because you get emotionally, financially, and I get amazing every other level, but in the relationship all of a sudden they check out and then they just stay there and then they stay there.
Speaker 2That okay, that's fair.
Speaker 1Some of them were never present to begin with okay, so I actually I'm gonna buy some more of these questions because you're gonna buy them.
Speaker 2You can buy five more for like three dollars.
Speaker 1That's how they get you well, I know, because I screenshot, that I want to do I want to ask the one that's like who am I looking for?
Speaker 2because mine's on there. Look at how much random my questions are versus yours, by the way you don't.
Speaker 1Should I go to clown school? It's fucking random. You don't think should I save for retirement or count on the world going to burn? As a random question, are you kidding me?
Speaker 2I love it. I think it's Look at my in a situation ship. This is funny.
Speaker 1What are you implying?
Speaker 2Should I hustle?
Speaker 1I already do.
Speaker 2Who am I really looking for? Should we do that one, or will I fall in love? Who am I really looking for? Let's start that, because I don't think I'm going to fall in love.
Speaker 1No, because it already said that you have the capability and you're holding yourself back.
Speaker 2Okay, who am I really looking for? And then we'll go on to like the social or something. These are kind of fun.
Speaker 1Oh, one of mine is what do people say about me behind my back? You should get the five questions spend the 299 questions okay, um, I want more.
Speaker 2Okay, who am I really looking for you? Okay, I've never read this before. Here we go first time. You want impossible things. Someone who gets both your wild dreams and your cold calculations my life okay, shall I keep going? Someone who makes you believe in magic while keeping your life on track? It's not a lot to ask for, is it fine?
Speaker 1um, very realistic the goddess and the accountant.
Speaker 2You demand perfection, yet sabotage closeness. Okay, can we not talk?
Speaker 1okay, that was fucking hilarious.
Speaker 2Um, your ideal partner doesn't exist. It's the combination of intelligence and emotional depth and you can't admit that. And emotional death you can't admit you need. You're looking for someone strong enough to match your intensity, but patient enough to wait while you dismantle your own barriers. Until then, relationships will feel like power struggles or disappointments. Your choice bridge the gap or remain divided. How accurate is that?
Speaker 1Well, apparently you gotta get that shit figured out quick, because you're gonna meet somebody. Oh.
Speaker 2I did figure that out. That's true, we figured that out. Doing better, remember, because you're gonna meet somebody. Oh, I did figure that out, that's true we figured that out. Doing better, remember.
Speaker 1You're like rip the fucking band-aid off, and I'm like done I know, oh god, okay, but you didn't really rip it off. You literally pulled it off and then put it back and then pull it off a little more and then fucking put it back on, and you did that a lot of times, and then eventually it just couldn't stick any longer and it had to come off. And then fucking put it back on, and you did that a lot of times and then eventually it just couldn't stick any longer and it had to come off.
Speaker 1And then you pulled that last little bit off and you're like I ripped off the back give me credit. Okay, wait until like the last possible moment we didn't tell it was the worst it could possibly have been. And then you're like I did it done. I'm so proud of you. It's okay, okay, uh. What do people say about me? Behind my back, they're whispering your name with equal parts fascination and apprehension that's good keep going, uh. Your intensity creates magnetic pull, attracting those hungry for substance while unsettling those who prefer comforting illusions.
Speaker 2I like that. I like it too.
Speaker 1Through 2026,. Your Pluto transit casts long shadows. Go Pluto. I don't know what that means. You're the catalyst that disrupts stagnant conversations. What they critique most isn't your shortcomings, but the mirror that you've held to their complacency. June's planetary alignments reveal how deeply you've disturbed their comfortable narratives. Let them talk. Their judgments reveal more about their limits than your transformation. The friction means you're becoming what you're meant to be, so I guess, now that I'm healing, I'm going to rattle some fucking feathers, apparently, I know.
Speaker 2And I love it.
Main Character Energy and Self-Reflection
Speaker 1I love it. I need to. I need to fucking not give a shit more. I'm working on that, that. Yes, it's the not giving a shit about what everybody thinks about me, and just doing, just doing me.
Speaker 2I love that. Apparently, all of this is telling us we need to um, we're on the right path. Okay. So my self ones are like what am I actually afraid of? I don't know, Should I do that?
Speaker 1Should I ask that one? Yes, do that one.
Speaker 2What am I actually afraid of? Oh, let's ask it Ready. One, two, three. Push the button, ask. It's asking Is there some deep, dark secrets we're letting out here? It's like our trauma got released last week or this week it got released we're in a weird spot.
Speaker 2We're not just letting it all out. Um, what am I actually afraid of? You fear being swallowed whole. Control isn't power, it's a wall against your own depths. You need structure, not because you're disciplined, but because chaos terrifies you. The mirror in relationships shows you what you'd rather not see. Your imagination creates monsters bigger than they are. When people get too close, you panic, sensing the ocean beneath your puddle, the real terror. Life without clear answers, meaning without concrete proof. You'd rather keep swimming than sink into uncertainty.
Speaker 1Ow Dagger, Is that like yeah?
Speaker 2that's fair, though, that kind of just piggybacked on the other thing about how you do so. Is this like get close to me and I'm gonna just shove you away? I mean, is this a theory that we've been uh?
Speaker 1again I'm like I will call attention, go away I will call attention to the events of this current week as exhibit a. Just think about it, yeah, you know. So, yeah, starting to get close, starting to try to involve themselves, and you instantly are like panic breaks, but like not only just like slow down, you're like turn the fucking car around. I've never met you.
Speaker 2Is that the cold calculations it was talking about?
Speaker 1that literally just happened. So yes, I do think this is accurate. I mean, I also like panic and push.
Speaker 2Yes, I feel trapped um, but I do. It's not unjustified, it's not without reason why you, yeah, no I'm not just like crazy, like bye, like I just okay, there's reason. Just don't talk to me anybody, because I will talk to you and then you'll get your feelings hurt.
Speaker 1Kidding what do we get? We're like close to it okay, so I'll do one more. Okay, um, am I the main character? Yes, do that one, I Do that one, I have that one too, I have that one too.
Speaker 1We finally have one of the same ones you have to do it too, then Okay, so here's the thing I got my hair done yesterday and I was talking to the hairstylist and I specifically told her yesterday fucking yesterday, I was like I have always been a background character and I told her about how me and you talked about it and like how you found in all of the videos and all of the photos I'm always in the background and I'm all and I was like, but I like purpose on purpose, not like I was purposely a secondary character in my own life.
Speaker 1I hate being the center of attention and I literally told the hairstylist yesterday I was like now that I've done the ketamine and I feel like there's space for me within my own brain now, which is like a new feeling for me.
Speaker 2I love this.
Speaker 1I was like I'm gonna really work on being the main character. I told her that fucking yesterday.
Speaker 2Push it Okay, push it.
Speaker 1Oops Watch. I read it and it's like no, okay, after I was like I'm gonna be the main character.
Speaker 2So she's pushing it now. She's never read it. I will also then push mine and we will See what it says, because I haven't read mine yet either.
Speaker 1You're more main character energy than me, for sure it might not be anymore. Because I'm in a different mindset Today than I was and I feel like I have gone more Back Backwards, like I'm taking a step back from the spotlight.
Speaker 2Maybe not, I don't know.
Speaker 1You're about to go on stage. I don't know what's different.
Speaker 2I don't know.
Speaker 1Anyways, okay, ready. Yes, am I the main character? You walk into rooms and people notice the quiet intensity gets them every time. You secretly know it too, do I?
Speaker 2yes, do I. Yeah, you have like you have a vibe, but maybe it's because I'm your bestie oh, this is sad, but you hide behind achievements, keeping emotional walls high.
Speaker 1Is it only sad because you feel it, because it's true?
Speaker 2so true.
Speaker 1Yes, it's true, I'm all like I'm smart, I have a master's hi. Not like I'm an emotional intelligent person. Like, no, I'm like, here's my degree you are very smart.
Speaker 2Yeah, there's so much more to you than I literally I again.
Speaker 1I was talking to hairstyles yesterday, but I I use my being smart as a defense mechanism like I do.
Speaker 2You're enough without the degree Just as lazy. Okay, we're working on that.
Speaker 1I'm getting sad. This is me better, you guys I am.
Speaker 2She's accepting it, so it's fine I feel good today.
Speaker 1actually I feel great.
Speaker 2She's accepting it. Her body's not recoiling from the compliments, I know.
Speaker 1Look how much better I took it. Yes, I can almost take a compliment. Almost, I'm getting almost there almost there. Another year of therapy, I'm sure I'll. It'll be fine. I won't have to use the bathroom after every time. Uh, you're a magnetic at a distance close enough to intrigue, far enough to remain untouchable. The problem isn't lack of star power, it's your refusal to be seen fully. Main characters don't control their emotions. They unleash them. Stop directing every scene. You're already the lead. Now act like it matters.
Speaker 2Oh, okay screenshot that one. That's gonna make me cry. That was good. All right, we'll see. Am I the main character? Yes, all right, we'll see. Am I the main character?
Speaker 1yes, um, it's calculating it's taking a long time to make that decision this is worrying me.
Speaker 2It's still going. Oh, here it goes. You stand backstage, not center stage, and that's your power. While others perform, you perceive. While they talk, you listen. You've never craved applause, just understanding. But don't mistake this quiet strength for insignificance. You see through people's facades, sensing their hidden hurts and untold stories. This makes you indispensable. The irony your deepest wish to be truly known and seen is granted only by those who matter. They're drawn to your rare ability, making them feel like the main character in their own story.
Speaker 1I actually love that that's really interesting to me. Like I didn't anticipate that response at all, because I see you as a main character in our friendship.
Speaker 2I definitely am the main character yeah I think I take that role on in our clueless.
Speaker 1You were share like that's. Do you remember when we were like yes, we were so fucked up that day oh. Oh, my God oh.
Speaker 2I still have those costumes.
Speaker 1Do you really? Yes, that's amazing.
Speaker 2Um, okay, so this was a fun episode.
Speaker 1That was fun.
Speaker 2I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 1And I learned a lot about myself.
Speaker 2I mean, it's like I feel like we're so self aware we knew, but like hearing it like that is like okay, like okay yeah, I knew that sometimes you need somebody or something to call you out because you're so in the weeds of it all yeah it happens to me at work, it happens to me in my personal life.
Speaker 1I'm like, I'm so deep in it I can't see through it, and so you need somebody else to like reinforce what you already know or to let you see it from a different perspective. It's the same information, but you process it differently because it's being provided to you instead of you trying to convince yourself because you don't trust yourself. Because why would we Right?
Speaker 2We don't trust anything.
Closing Thoughts on Growth and Healing
Speaker 1No, we have broken our own trust.
Speaker 2So we're the worst.
Speaker 1Yeah, we're healing. This whole season is about healing. Yes, we're in better spots, think we are, we are, I feel like it.
Speaker 2It's growth, definitely yeah, lots of growth well, till next time.
Speaker 1Till next time we'll do the episode we were supposed to do. Oh yeah girl code.
Speaker 2Girl code coming up next bye.