we are NOT the SAME
We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos!
we are NOT the SAME
Two Friends, Six Dogs, and a Bowl of Happiness
When the world feels overwhelming and negativity threatens to take over, sometimes the most radical act is pausing to recognize what's good. In this heartfelt conversation, we dive deep into the transformative power of gratitude during life's hardest moments.
We share personal stories about how our children became powerful motivators for growth and self-improvement, pushing us to pursue education, careers, and healthier lifestyles we might never have achieved otherwise. For one of us, bodybuilding became not just a physical practice but a mental lifeline during profound grief, offering structure and purpose when everything else felt chaotic.
The conversation takes unexpected turns as we explore finding comfort in our pets during lonely nights, the special joy of watching our children develop skills and independence, and how even difficult friendship phases taught us valuable lessons about honest communication and support. We laugh about our quirks—from strange food combinations to playlist preferences—while acknowledging how these small idiosyncrasies make our bond unique.
What emerges is a powerful reminder about how our brains work: they seek evidence for whatever we focus on. When we train ourselves to notice things we're grateful for, we begin seeing more goodness everywhere, creating a positive feedback loop that transforms our experience of daily life.
Whether you're navigating grief, parenting challenges, career uncertainty, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the state of the world, this episode offers practical wisdom for shifting your focus without denying reality. Try our simple practice of writing down one thing you're grateful for each day, and watch how your perspective begins to change.
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We are not the same, although maybe we are now More than we used to be. For sure, I am Lacey, I'm Heather. It's good to be here with you guys again, yes.
Speaker 2:Two weeks out for me, I know.
Speaker 1:I keep saying that because my brain goes away mid-sentence.
Speaker 2:Now, I had my bowl of happiness before our first podcast today. Bowl of happiness Is that your oatmeal, jesus Christ, and it's fading.
Speaker 1:It's fading, see, it's stuff like that. That's when I'm reminded that, yeah, we still really are not the same.
Speaker 2:So my carbs are depleting, my brain cells are going away, so sometimes I just stop mid-sentence. So if that happens, lacy's gonna pick up. But we have a special episode today.
Speaker 1:it is it's all about gratitude, yeah, because, listen, life gets fucking hard for everybody, literally everybody. The world's expensive times are hard. Everybody's fighting. It's just fucking miserable a lot of the time, and I know that I sometimes struggle focusing on the good. You yell at me about it a lot, actually you yelled at me about it literally on our last podcast I'm spicy right now.
Speaker 2:There's no carbs. She is she's busy.
Speaker 1:but so I had an idea that we should have an episode where we literally just go back and forth and just talk about things that we're grateful for, whether it's big, whether it's small, and it's really just to help my own personal mental health. I figured, why not record it?
Speaker 2:I mean being grateful is great for your mental health.
Speaker 1:And also.
Speaker 2:Maybe we can share some of the things that we're grateful for that can help other people or like because I know I'm going like there's things that I'm grateful for as well, like things and people well, you go first pick something that you're grateful for.
Speaker 1:Well, first, no, you're gonna go first I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2:But I am gonna just go ahead and you know, since we're talking about gratitude, the general definition and like why it's so great. So gratitude is the quality of being thankful and showing appreciation for what one has received, whether tangible or intangible, involves recognizing positive aspects of life, acknowledging the kindness and efforts of others. It's often associated with increased well-being and positive relationships, as it encourages a focus on positive experiences, which you need a lot, and the people who contribute to them no, and I love you.
Speaker 1:I love you too. No, but that's that's actually a really important call out. Is that part of the reason why people are so angry all the time is because they forget to be grateful and because if all it's one of those things like if you are only thinking about jeeps, then you're going to see a lot of jeeps on the road, that doesn't mean that proportionally, there's more jeeps on the road than there were before you were thinking about it. But your brain seeks out the things that it's thinking about. So if you're thinking about the negative, then you will constantly only think about the negative, but if you think about things that you're grateful for, then you're able to concentrate and find more things that you're grateful for, and that's why I was like I need to work on this.
Speaker 2:Yes, I was like. I feel like we should have started with this episode probably.
Speaker 1:It probably would have made the last one be a way different episode than it was if you haven't listened to last week's episode, go listen to that one now.
Speaker 2:Today it's completely different. It was literally not even five minutes ago that we recorded that, but yeah that's the way we we have to record multiple episodes at a time. It's true this is how your your moods can change, as much as your weight fluctuates it changes a lot like, and that's why I was like I need to do this.
Speaker 1:I can feel myself like I love gratitude. I was telling you, I write down every day gratitude and I'm not, so we are working on me well that's because I wasn't good at it before that's true.
Speaker 1:It's hard sometimes, though, like listen, I have a lot of weird, crazy, fucked up shit happen just all the time, and most of the time when I tell people that, they're like uh-huh, sure, I'm sure it seems that way, and then people who hang around me for an extended period of time are like no, yeah, you really do have crazy, weird, fucked up shit just happened to you all the time. So it is hard for me. What are you?
Speaker 2:doing my muscles on my legs. I'm not even moving them, they're all twitching. Do you see that?
Speaker 1:It's so weird, my calf oh no, I see that they're just like, they're just moving fireworks, fireworks going off that's what I call it, I know that's funny back on track.
Speaker 2:Anyways, it was really freaking me out that's my whole thing is like.
Speaker 1:After I did the ketamine I, I feel so much better. I'm so grateful that I did that. But now the important thing is that doesn't solve anything. That just puts you in the right mindset so that you can actually work on things. So now I have to put in the work, now that I'm mentally capable of being able to handle it. That's essentially what the ketamine did. Right, I couldn't handle it before, it was too heavy, it was too much. Now I feel much lighter, I feel like I can handle it. So now I have to put in the work, and that starts with being grateful. Yes, so I mean I think the first one is the easiest one and probably any mom would agree Like, I'm so fucking grateful for my kids Because I would not be where I am in life today if it were not for my kids, because my kids.
Speaker 1:The second I found out that I was pregnant. I wanted to do better, I wanted to be better. I found out that I was pregnant, I wanted to do better, I wanted to be better. I mean, my mom is a driving force because I literally function under. I will be a better mom than her. Like that is. That is my ultimate driving force.
Speaker 1:But that's because, like at the second I had Deegan, or the second I knew I was pregnant with Deegan. I was like I could never love anything more than this. Why would you not want to do literally everything for him? He was four weeks old when I went back to school and then and I became a pharmacy tech and I got my job and I was like, yay, and then I found out I was pregnant with ashton and I'm like, well, this isn't good enough. So I went back to school and then I got my freaking uh bachelor's degree and I'm like, yay, go me. And then me and their dad split up and I'm like, well, this isn't good enough, I gotta. Now it's just me and those boys and I gotta do all the things.
Speaker 1:No, he hung around for a while, so two years unfortunately that was not quite how it went, but like, so then I was like I have to do better, it's all on me now. So I went back and I got my master's degree. So like they are a driving force, they constantly make me want to be better. So I think sometimes when I get in those bad mindsets like if I just focus and think about my kids, I instantly get that I want to be better for them, type of thing, and so that's something that I have to lean on a lot. But so I'm very grateful for them because they make me want to be a better person I like that answer.
Speaker 2:That's a very good answer. Um, I also want to say, obviously, my kids, um they, ever since luke passed, I just feel like we've kind of become this like like a really yes close-knit like just take care of each other, like I will say that your relationship with the kids is definitely different.
Speaker 1:Like I can feel it and see it, but like not. It's not in a good way or a bad way, it's just like the evolution of it.
Speaker 2:Well, and also we live like a very different. Like I'm a bodybuilder, they're elite, all-star cheerleaders. We travel a lot. Like we put in a lot of sacrifice. I have entrepreneurial jobs that allow me to be there for them. I have entrepreneurial jobs that allow me to be there for them. So it's different. I'm not like we're not like a stereotypical household.
Speaker 1:But it works because it allows each of you to be exactly who you are and feel fully supported, in that you guys, all you all support each other. Like, brandon goes with you to help you do your spray tan.
Speaker 2:Sometimes he does, he goes with me and works there, um also, yeah, he just takes care of a lot of like you know, he does the lawn mowing. Like we all have our chores, we all do our things and it's kind of like we just do our job and like get everything done. Yeah, I don't know, it's very different. I feel like I don't know, I can't you know me.
Speaker 1:But it makes sense though, because then you, if one of those pieces wasn't there or didn't work right or whatever, like the whole thing would come crashing down, like you guys. And you guys just do it on autopilot. You guys just all work together to make it happen, which is crazy because it's always like so chaotic, it's like so funny, like this week what are like with cheer and choreography which Brayden?
Speaker 2:has been doing amazing. He does privates now and it's coaching and he's just like coming into his voice and we're going to an NCA combine for him in the beginning of October to see about getting scholarships for cheer and yeah, he might want to compete too. He said he was into it but we'll see. Lily really wants to. She's like my little mini me. She really is Like. She really is Like literally. It's kind of weird. She just got a pull up the other day. That's like her thing that she was working on.
Speaker 1:So like, yeah, I can't do one still.
Speaker 2:Really, that surprises me. I haven't done up. Okay, pull up.
Speaker 1:That's true. You haven't done upper body in 20, some months now I stopped counting. That's so weird because I remember back when beast day I mean, like you would do, I know you it the fact that you don't focus on it is crazy because, like, look at your arm, it is very defined there is definitely a lot of muscle there, so it's crazy that you are able to still look that way without that ever being your focus I know I've never, I don't touch any way and I don't usually hold weight either.
Speaker 2:Some people are like, oh, you hold weight when you do lower body. Like no, I utilize machines that like take the weight off the upper body because I want to, like, starting with um, my coach, who I'm so thankful for lydia, I'm like I'll go into that. Another point it was one of the feedback was to bring down upper body, so like my lats and things like that, because my lower body is what your focus is for the division, the division there you go, that's the word.
Speaker 2:So like, yeah, I just do legs five days a week, but, um, I love that. Like, brayden will come to the gym with me, lily comes to the gym with me and kinsley just keeps all of us on our toes oh yeah, all the time, and kinsley just keeps all of us on our toes. Oh yeah, all the time I love her. She's a lot.
Speaker 1:She is a lot I do like that she, she understands, and sometimes we have to use it as a threat.
Speaker 2:But like she wants to impress lele, auntie lele yes, so sometimes I have to like be like that's disappointing, and then she'll stop doing something yes, the problem is that she's so smart like she's she's good at reading people, yes, and then like the dramatics and the theatrics and it's like she knows what this is, why kids? Shouldn't watch youtube because youtube kids makes them dramatic yeah, and like I was like sitting down and actually watching like things that she was watching, and I'm like, oh my god, they talk about like running away and like being well no wonder she runs away.
Speaker 2:I know I was like this is why. Oh, that was in henry henry danger on, like oh ashton used to watch that yes, like these kids shows and it's like when you watch it, okay, I see how, like they don't get the concept, but now, like as an adult, I'm like this isn't good no, this is not where we should be teaching children.
Speaker 1:Yeah, kids shows are not good anymore. They shouldn't know about like running away like.
Speaker 2:Why? Why is that like and like?
Speaker 1:because they want to teach them to be their own person.
Speaker 2:Like no, well, and there's like bad you know, all of these shows like feature one bad kid and it's like why does kinsey mimic the bad one, like why can't we choose the good one? Why is it like I like? Because you can't have three that good, because, like brayden was like perfect, just like keeps in his own lane, he's just like gonna be the sweetest husband one day. He's gonna do literally every single thing, yes for that girl. Yes, every single thing, and she's gonna love it because she's gonna make a day.
Speaker 1:He's gonna do literally every single thing for that girl.
Speaker 2:Yes, Every single thing, and she's gonna love it because she's gonna make a list and he's gonna do it all. Now he's probably gonna play video games at night, that's fine. He's gonna forget things. He's not gonna find things right in front of his face, but he's gonna love you hard.
Speaker 1:That is a universal boy trait. Let's be real, like no girl should go into a relationship being surprised when he can't find the thing that is directly in front of.
Speaker 2:oh my god, I don't even know what it was my gosh, I keep thinking anyways any I was like it's right there and he's like where, and I could see it from where I was, like in front of you.
Speaker 1:He's like where, oh my goodness, do not make me get up off this couch to show you that thing that you can literally touch if you just put your hand out. Do not make me do that.
Speaker 2:I'm always like and I'm supposed to trust you driving and you can't find something in front of your face. Girl, I have three teenage boys. I don't know how you do it.
Speaker 1:I have nervous breakdowns a lot. Do you want a girl?
Speaker 2:no, nope, she's six, almost seven. No, fucking no, oh, she's going to hang out with luke's mom.
Speaker 1:I know that's gonna be so good, it's gonna be great. It's gonna be good for you can be grateful for that.
Speaker 2:I'm so grateful for that I actually am really excited about that relationship being. I think she needs that. I think she's going through a really hard transition and wanting to know more about her dad yeah, and I think that'll just be like another missing piece totally so. Yeah, she honestly could come back and just be like totally different yeah, so the therapy that we're looking into, I think it's like more of a neurological thing that we need to get like assessed and like um a little more than just like oh, seeing, I think it.
Speaker 2:I mean, you can only do so much the brain is wired the way it's wired and we're thinking that there's just something with the impulse like kind of she gets. It has to be like an attachment kind of like an anxiety thing. She can't pull herself out of it, yeah, and it just amps up and it gets a little wild and out of control.
Speaker 1:She wears herself out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, and it's out of nowhere, usually over nothing, self-inflicted um anxiety, but like I get it and she's like you know, it's just, it's a brain thing, so we're gonna figure that out.
Speaker 1:You know you gotta have her focus on gratitude too. Yes, I this one is gonna sound cheesy, but like literally, I'm so grateful for my dogs I have a lot of dogs they.
Speaker 1:They do a lot for me because, listen, I work from home. My kids are gone half the time, either through work or they're with their grandmas. You act like you need one. I can drop one off. I'm very lonely a lot of the time and having the dogs there helps a lot, especially when they're so excited to see me. It makes me feel fucking.
Speaker 1:And so I'm very grateful for my dog. I have a fucking lot of them. Therefore, I could not take on another child. Stop trying. I have six dogs in my house, a lot of dogs. They're not all mine, three of them are mine, and then each of my three boys has a dog. So it's a lot. But I am grateful for them Because I think about if they weren't there and it was just me alone by myself in the house, as much as I'm home, like I would go insane.
Speaker 1:It at least gives me some sort of outlet, not only for like getting energy out because I got puppies and I got around and all the things, but also just like getting the loneliness out. And I don't I fucking talk to my dogs. No, they don't talk back. I'm not crazy, but sometimes you got to just get something out right. And it doesn't even matter who is listening, it just matters that someone is listening. So you don't hold that shit in. So my dogs know some shit, the secrets they could tell. And I know, know, it sounds crazy, but I am. I'm very grateful for my dogs you have very cute dogs.
Speaker 2:I love them so much.
Speaker 1:Hopefully no more puppies no, I have to stop. They don't know more dogs. Six is way too many, it's fucking too many. You guys, I didn't mean for this to happen, it just happened um thankful, grateful for bodybuilding and how it kind of like transformed my grief trajectory and where I am now.
Speaker 2:So in that, of course, is lydia top gun fitness, like just they took me from. I mean, I had two other coaches before. Just not the right fit.
Speaker 1:It's just like therapy, right Like there can. There's a lot of options, but that doesn't mean every single option is going to work for every single person and don't be a coach hopper, but find the one that fits.
Speaker 2:Do some research. I did not research in the beginning, and then I didn't research again and then I really did research.
Speaker 1:Did. When you very first started, did you always plan on going pro no, I didn't even think that. I think that matters.
Speaker 2:It was like you were just doing it to do it in the beginning I thought that I'd probably just do a show and be done and look at you now. I know I had no, I was like I would never go.
Speaker 1:I never thought that that would even be a possibility but I do think that, like it was a life-altering time for you because you were able to focus all of that energy from your grief into something positive for you, for me to stop drinking, because you cannot drink and bodybuild, so it was like something for me to pour my extra energy into when I quit I am definitely grateful that I quit drinking yes that it is still hard, not not every day um less days are hard than not, so that's great do you find that hurdle summer or like brunch mimosas ever trigger you um, anytime I see champagne or vodka, I kind of have a moment.
Speaker 1:Um, the thing that gets me the worst is the lemon basil from a one tree. I crave it. I will just randomly wake up, just and no trigger. That's the weird thing. Like some days I'm just totally good and then some days I'm just like I want, want nothing but that, that's all I want. I want the lemon basil from one tree. If you still drink, please drink that for me because it's delicious, and somebody, please find a way to make that non-alcoholic for me, because I will buy all of it.
Speaker 2:It's so delicious, so apple juice with lemon basil.
Speaker 1:I don't think it works exactly that way, because I don't.
Speaker 2:I feel, because I don't. I feel like that it's gonna taste awful if you just try to put those three ingredients together. Saw on instagram it was mustard and watermelon.
Speaker 1:Nope no, thank you. People eat weird shit. People put uh, a lot of people put salt on fruit and I don't get that like they'll do it on strawberries or water not for me. No, thank you. I don't like mixing things like that. People put like cottage cheese and pineapple. No, you're disgusting, stop it. Oh, I haven't had that for like that's like a kid thing.
Speaker 2:Pepper, and I love black pepper, I put it on ever, I put that shit on everything, but I'm not putting it on my cottage cheese.
Speaker 1:What? No, that's weird, but I do put mayonnaise on my corn, on the cob and I put mayonnaise and black pepper on my corn, on my cob, and my whole family thinks it's the most disgusting thing in the whole. I don't even like I put mayonnaise and black pepper on my corn on the cob.
Speaker 1:That's how I eat it and I don't even like mayonnaise, but for some reason that before my mother um, I used to give her shit about it, that's how she ate it, and she made me try it because she's like. She's the person I I am grateful for this. She is the person who told me that you cannot knock something without trying it first.
Speaker 1:You cannot I mean, I feel like we can say mayonnaise on corn when it came to food, let's specifically say, because I'm like I will knock heroin and I've never done it. So let's say, specifically for food related things, you cannot say you don't like it if you've never tried it. So that is how she got me to try it that way and I'm like, damn, this is delicious and I've eaten it that way ever since now, how much mayonnaise are we talking?
Speaker 1:not a lot, no more than you would do butter, it's just it's more flavorful with then. I don't know. It's hard to explain it.
Speaker 2:It tastes more buttery than butter on the corn I'm gonna like do it to my kids one time I swear to god I'll do it to the short one she'll eat anything it sounds gross, but it's, it's good.
Speaker 1:Um, but it's. That was a great lesson and one that I then passed on to my kids, because I'm grateful for the fact that my kids will try anything because of me teaching them to live life that way. I'm like you don't know what if you never tried chocolate. That was always the example I gave them. I'm like you love chocolate, right. I couldn't do that for Deegan, because Deegan doesn't like chocolate, but for Ashton I'm like you love chocolate, right. And he's like, yeah, I was like what if you had never tried it? Because you thought it looked like poop? And he just kind of looked at me. I'm like so you don't know until you try something if you like it. So no matter what I make their whole lives, they will always try it, and then they'll tell me if they don't like something. And one time I didn't believe Deegan when he told me he didn't like sweet potatoes and then he threw up on it. So Deegan does not have to ever eat sweet potatoes ever.
Speaker 2:And I learned.
Speaker 1:I learned to believe my children when they tell me they don't like something or they will vomit and there's a difference between I don't like this, but I can eat it, and I don't like this. I can't eat this. Good lessons all around. It is how do your kids eat when you are like on your prep, do they? Because they do all the athletic stuff, do they have?
Speaker 2:specific diets too. No, I let them eat more actually, because they're so active, they're burning so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, especially it's the tiniest thing they're both.
Speaker 2:They're very teeny tiny littleden is just like Scarny boy, yeah, so I put all the food in him, whatever he can eat.
Speaker 2:Lily likes to eat whatever I eat. I just buy them whatever like. I buy them their food. I actually teach them how to cook so they can do theirs, or I'll make them. Stuff depends how far In prep I am. But everyone has different Schedules so it's like You're not all eating at the same time ever. No, not usually. If they do, then it's like everyone eats together not me, because I'm eating a different schedule. But I'll be around them. Yeah, um, but I have my meals like six meals a day, very small meals right now, but it's fine. Lots of protein, it's good.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, that's a lot and my kids I put them remember small like remember chef amanda meals not like full-on meals, yeah, you know yeah, it's just time consuming to block out having to make food that many times every two hours every hour yeah, because you don't eat, my stomach is growling right now I bet, oh, it's real food, it's real food ish it's. It's not my definition of real food, it actually is real whole food.
Speaker 2:It is 100% real whole food. Yes, it is not a pastry or a baked good. You are correct.
Speaker 1:No, but it's also not like a delicious like. See to me Pasta.
Speaker 2:It's delicious. Yes, you know it's ground. Right now we're on ground turkey cucumbers.
Speaker 1:My oats egg whites. Do you see how short that list was?
Speaker 2:Yeah, but because we're so close to show. So my digestion has to be like and I was adding vegetables in and that's one thing like my digestion slowed down, adding more in. So we're not fucking around, we're just doing little amount of food.
Speaker 1:Just do what works until you're done. Yes, and then we can finally go and eat food together. Yes, on luke's birthday.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's on the calendar yes the 18th everybody eat a reese's on the 19th yeah, that was his favorite, all right um, do you remember chef amanda though?
Speaker 1:yes, yeah, so I'm grateful for her because I put my kids in a bunch of her cooking classes when they were little and now my kids know enough about cooking because of attending those classes that, like the other day, I wasn't gonna get home until like 9 30 at night and I was like, fuck, I'm still gonna have to cook. Nope, I just sent deegan a recipe and I was like, hey, use this as a base, you know, do whatever to it. And then I came home and he had already made dinner and it was awesome, perfect, I know. And so I'm grateful for her for giving them the basics and then I was able to. After they got that from her, I was able to build on that as they got older and now they both my kids can cook, and it's awesome.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that. I love that. I'll see. I don't know what am I grateful for. I'm losing my train of thought. I have a pain in my side. I can see that.
Speaker 1:Janessa yes.
Speaker 2:Speaking of, yeah, like all the people like Natasha for my posing, janessa for my body work, like all the people that like help contribute to the look my suit sponsor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause it's a it's not just like there's a lot that goes into it.
Speaker 2:Yes, my, you know hardcore like being my home away from home. Yeah, Also training out of there. So if you need any training, come see me. I'll be in off season soon running on full, full brain cells.
Speaker 1:Yeah, once you're able to eat carbs I mean I'm some.
Speaker 2:I'm on 75 carb right now, but for me that's low I don't pay attention to my eating at all.
Speaker 1:I would be scared to look at any of the macros for me. I do try to focus heavy on um protein and fiber. If I help it, especially protein, because I know that that's important when I got my blood work done.
Speaker 1:They're like your protein levels are great. I was like, yeah, go me. Apparently, I don't consume enough salt. My salt levels always come in under, which I think is crazy. But I use salt to enhance other flavors, not like as a seasoning, where other people are like, oh the salt, and I'm like you just need a little bit of salt and then, oh the other seasonings and it's great. So apparently I have to add more salt.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you don't sweat a lot either, so you're not like getting, you're not no.
Speaker 1:I hate sweating, so like that's why you don't.
Speaker 2:You aren't expelling any salt.
Speaker 1:I would probably work out more if I didn't have to sweat.
Speaker 2:You don't expel any salt, so you don't need salt because you're not expelling it. So you're good. My levels are low, I'm not worried about it.
Speaker 1:I tried to do some of those electrolyte drinks and I could not.
Speaker 2:It just it was like drinking salt water and I was like no, nope no, you don't really need those because you're not really like working out or doing anything like that. You're fine, just use a little Himalayan salt every once in a while.
Speaker 1:That's what I use. That's the type of salt I use. You're fine. Yeah, I'm grateful for you because, oh, I'm grateful for you, you are the person who has been most I mean, aside from my sister right, that's family but like you're the person who's been the most consistent person in my life. Like I moved around a lot when I was little and it was hard to keep in touch with people. You know, back then social media wasn't a thing and all this stuff, um, and then like there's people like Renee sorry, little battle.
Speaker 2:Um, I don't even care, I don't even care, I don't either we are not friends.
Speaker 1:Um, the whole thing with her is, even though we were friends for so long, me and her would go long periods of time where we didn't see or speak to each other, so like it wasn't like a consistent friendship and like, while she's miss fiddle paddle, she's a ho ho. Um, even though me and you had that, we had our one moment of time where we were not speaking to each other. Um, you definitely still tried first off, I did, yes, you, you did try the whole time that we weren't speaking.
Speaker 2:Um, so that was 100 on me, but it was a necessary thing, and I was not like fiddle faddle, by the way, we were just no, yeah, we were, I was a good person you're a good person, we were.
Speaker 1:We were both in the worst parts of ourselves and I literally had a surgery that has the worst pain of my life.
Speaker 2:I died for like nine weeks. You don't even know, I couldn't even get off the couch Because I left.
Speaker 1:Because I left, I couldn't do it anymore.
Speaker 2:I had no idea the amount of pain that that muscle reconstruction on my abs was going to be. I was stuck on the couch. That was an insane situation. I thought it was going to be like oh, I've had a C-section, it'll be fine. No, you were cut like completely, and then they stitched my muscles back together, which was that was what it was. I couldn't stand up straight.
Speaker 1:It was like an internal corset and I just fucking about died that's a really good way to explain it, because I remember when I had my first c-section with deegan, they did my internal stitching too tight and I couldn't move anytime I moved it on it and it was excruciating to the point where prison Aaron Carter actually took me to the emergency room at like two in the morning because I was screaming bloody murder, because I was in so much pain and they were like the only thing that we can do is recut you open, to redo the internal stitches or you just wait it out. Here's some opioids. Good fucking luck and sent me home.
Speaker 2:I mean at least that was when they gave you drugs.
Speaker 1:They don out. Here's some opioids. Good fucking luck and sent me home.
Speaker 2:I mean, at least that was when they gave you drugs. They don't do that now.
Speaker 1:Correct, it was, it was back when they would give you drugs. Um, now I'm like I just had surgery, I remember, but also that was only one part where yours was the whole thing.
Speaker 2:Well, and it wasn't the tummy tuck, the skin removal, that was. Yeah, it was just the internal, because from the c-sections I had such scarring my abs were over a centimeter separated yes, all the way down and across.
Speaker 1:So that stitching together that part, yeah, I bet um, but yeah, never have to do that again but, like I, I'm actually grateful for our time apart, though, because the one thing that we were doing in that time frame was we were leaning on the other person to allow us to be worse. You know what I mean. Like you would do something that we both knew you probably shouldn't, and I would encourage that behavior because I also wanted you to then, in turn, encourage my bad decision making. Like we, we're like no judgment. We definitely needed to judge the fuck out of each other back then, and we weren't. We judge each other now. That was lesson learned. People are like oh, we're bad, we listen and we don't judge. No, that's not healthy. That is not a healthy friendship.
Speaker 2:You can still stand by your friend and judge them correct you and they need somebody that they literally just called you out with love about being pessimistic on our last episode.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which is fair and that now we're doing gratitude, but that's the whole thing right.
Speaker 1:That's why I'm starting a whole new like that's why I'm grateful for us is because we have learned what makes it healthy and, and like I can be a better friend to people in general because of what I've learned from our relationship and the fact that we could go through all that and move forward and move past that. You know what I mean. Like there's, I have learned so much from our friendship and I'm grateful that I know that, no matter what happens in my life, like I can go to you and you will be an ear for me. You know what I mean and you're not gonna. Like there's different types of judgment. Like you're not gonna judge me for getting into the bad situation after it's already happened, but if you can help prevent it, you will judge me and be like don't do that yes, and now we're so much better about like we're so much better not hiding our bet.
Speaker 2:Well, we don't really have bad decisions anymore.
Speaker 1:We're really no, I don't do anything anymore. I'm a boring person now. No, I enjoy it.
Speaker 2:It's called peaceful. It is people.
Speaker 1:It is I don't want to end up in a house with a christmas tree I know I keep going back on these dating sites and it only lasts for a couple of weeks, because I'm like why am I here? This is going to just interrupt everything. It's, it's whatever.
Speaker 2:But entertainment while you have it. Yeah, I am also very thankful for our relationship.
Speaker 1:You've also been that rock for me and always been there, so we've been through a lot yes it's kind of crazy sometimes when the old photos pop up, because it feels like a whole different life. It really does like, yeah, back when we lived at the old houses, when we did live a block and a half from each other, it was so damn convenient. Back then we hung out like every other day at a minimum, like it was. It was a lot, but it was a lot, but it was good. Now I don't hang out with anybody, because the closest person to me Well, jen, is three blocks from me but she's married now. So boo.
Speaker 2:Such as us. We're the last ones here. Yeah, I know, last episode we did that. This was kind of fun. I now have five funny questions that we can ask.
Speaker 1:Funny questions this time. What was it last time, I don't know.
Speaker 2:It was like if it's five something questions I don't remember I don't know, but it was good. They were good ones, they were good questions. Okay, if I had a yelp review from my exes, what do you think it would say?
Speaker 1:they would go off right, because their whole thing is they need you to be the villain so that they don't come across as a villain. So Johnny Bravo would call you a thief, because what they do is they call you what they are, right. So then you would have a list of people who would be like she's a liar, but it's like no, it's because you're a liar because you said you had your shit together and you definitely fucking did not. The one who was all like okay, so I live with my ex-girlfriend, but she's definitely my ex-girlfriend. No, you a liar. So he would call you a liar. So I think that would be the. The common theme is most people would call you a liar, but you're one of the most honest people that I know I do a fault.
Speaker 2:I know you used to be like heather the way you say it. I'm like, I'm being honest. You're like well, the way you say. It's the way you say it.
Speaker 1:I'm like am I supposed to lie, I feel like you don't try to word it and you're supposed to make people feel good about going to hell and you're like, no, I want you to.
Speaker 2:I just take the honesty thing literally, like I'm just being honest, literally how I feel sorry, you can make people cry with your words I'm doing a lot better with that lately. The gratitude, the gratitude, um. Okay, so for you, yeah I don't like that. You're laughing first thanks for building me up, oh, and passing me along to my forever, my new, forever home damn ouch, I'm basically a foster for men.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:No, no, thank you for the renovations. I now have a long-term tenant.
Speaker 1:I now have a long-term tenant. Fuck that. Yeah, that hurts, but it's so true. But. I'm laughing with you For the most part, I make them better and I send them off in the world, and then they marry the next one.
Speaker 2:You don't want them anyways. But yeah, quit investing. I don't Quit doing renovations on houses that aren't yours. I love how I'm making weird metaphors and whatever.
Speaker 1:Honestly though I watched so many home improvement shows that it's.
Speaker 2:I'm glad you moved on to baking Shorter process, less money Get it out.
Speaker 1:Get it out faster.
Speaker 2:And maybe they taste good. Oh good lord. I had to walk away for a second because I was laughing too hard if there was a lookalike competition for me, what would the winner need to nail?
Speaker 1:lookalike competition um your rusty bitch, because it's not like a normal like, it's almost like a resting bitch face plus a smirk like that you hold I like that yeah, so, because a normal resting bitch face like that's why people still find you like you're intimidating but approachable.
Speaker 1:I don't like that yeah, so people don't know which way is gonna go with you, which I think is why you get so many people like they. They come in timid because they're like she's either going to be super bubbly friendly or she's going to be a complete psycho bitch. And I can't tell, based off of her face, which way it's going to go. Cause it looks like it could go either way. I guess.
Speaker 2:Depending on the the, the place and the person, it could definitely go.
Speaker 1:There's a switch, there's a switch, there's a switch. It's not a dimmer, it it's a fucking yes, since we're doing the home renovation metaphors.
Speaker 2:Yes, it's not a dimmer, there's just on and off again, aries, full-on fiery bowl all or nothing, um, but yeah, I can also be the sweetest thing ever you can you have it in you um for you your purse, your r2d2 purse yeah just some star wars nerd shit that's gotta be the right nerd shit. I know the same person you keep buying. I can't believe it's still on sale um, it's actually just continued.
Speaker 1:So did you buy more? No, that's I know I know, because it's already breaking again. What do I? What am I gonna do? See, it's coming apart we're gonna find you a new one we're gonna have to and then I'm gonna just have. I still have the original one in my graveyard, in my closet, which sounds creepy. It's a little creepy, it's fine. I don't feel right about getting rid of it. I'm only a hoarder with certain stuff. What's the next question?
Speaker 2:Well, that one's kind of like one we already talked about, but we could do it over again the last episode. If we had to switch lives for 24 hours, what would stress you out the most? Oh, yeah, we did do that. One might not be sitting down, or actually it would be talking to the people that I don't like talking to people. You have to talk to people. You get on calls and you do that.
Speaker 1:I don't like that it's actually really funny too when I get on calls because I it's really hard to describe my job to people and I feel like it doesn't make me sound very smart. When I try to describe my job to people but like then they'll sit and they'll listen to me in a meeting and they'll be like, oh you, like it's totally sound really smart, it's like a boss, and I was like, yeah, I am, I am.
Speaker 1:I am, but apparently that doesn't come across unless you hear it and then yours is the workout.
Speaker 2:Um okay, if I left a voicemail that said, don't be mad, what's the first thing you'd assume I did Hurt somebody.
Speaker 1:Either physically or emotionally.
Speaker 2:Motorcycle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because it would go back to you, would decide to use your honesty and you'd be like I'm gonna tell you exactly how I think of you and exactly why you need to leave my friend alone. And then I would be mortified because I would be worried that you hurt their feelings and I would be like they're not gonna blame it on me, and then I'd be worried that they would be mad at me because of something that you did.
Speaker 2:alright, that spiraled. That took a right. That's spiraled, that that's a good. But that's how my brain works. Yeah, no, same here. Same here. Yeah, no, I would assume that you had you know motorcycle that I met motorcycle or I had to do with motorcycle at this current juncture, if that's what you said that's fair. I'm trying if you said I have something to tell you, or, um, your dating apps got juicy. Yeah, that'll never happen, but you would tell me you were going so I could watch your location.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I have a system heather is part of my life 360 so that, um, when either one of us goes on a date or just about our daily lives, we can keep track of where the other one is, because safety first yes, this one is so weird.
Speaker 2:If you can mute one sound, I make forever. Which one are you picking?
Speaker 1:that's a weird fucking question. I don't feel like you make sounds like that are like an all the time type of sound I know I'm like what do we make?
Speaker 2:Yeah, just say um. So then I couldn't say it anymore.
Speaker 1:You say um a lot and it bothers you more than it bothers me.
Speaker 2:I happen to not say it a lot.
Speaker 1:And then, once you, realize you say it, then you get frustrated with yourself and then that makes you say it more.
Speaker 2:I haven't said it for a while, but definitely with the lower carbs it comes about Like my brain power is already diminished. Brain power is already diminished. I don't know if I would that one's kind of like. It doesn't bother me, though I guess the sounds I would just say your music playlist.
Speaker 1:I would want it on like one genre it's all over the place, but that's because you will sit and listen to a whole cd from an artist and that drives me crazy, or?
Speaker 2:I just like genres, like if we're doing edm, edm, country, we'll do country. If we do, you know what I mean. Like oh country, we'll do country. You know what I mean? Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't do that. Either it's all over the board or like the same.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it goes from like 1950s to current, but not that it bugs me. That would just be the only suggestion, just because I had to say something for the question. But that's good, I hate it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that's our gratitude for the day. Yeah, I feel so much better that's good. It's good to be grateful, and I'm gonna work on that, because one thing that you brought up- um is writing the shit down. So I'm gonna I'm gonna try, because I in november I did good um, like once a day in November write something that you're grateful for, but I'm going to try to like do that for an extended period of time.
Speaker 2:I'll keep you accountable.
Speaker 1:You have to. Somebody fucking has to. It can't be me. We can't rely on me to make sure I do something, because it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:It's not no, all right, well, until next time, besties, bye.