we are NOT the SAME
We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos!
we are NOT the SAME
The Recycling Game: Love, Dating and Colorado Hookups
Heather and Lacey reunite with newfound energy as they catch up on life's recent adventures. Heather triumphantly shares her MaxFit competition win that capped off her rookie pro season, while detailing her subsequent celebration in Florida complete with mouthwatering key lime pie and a life-changing pistachio cream waffle. Meanwhile, Lacey's Colorado trip reveals more than just mountain views when she admits to "recycling" a former flame.
The conversation evolves into a masterclass on modern dating terminology as they distinguish between "recycling" (mutually beneficial reconnections), "yo-yoing" (the exhausting push-pull dynamic), and "collecting" (keeping people as status symbols). Their insights come from hard-won experience as they unpack what truly keeps them single despite being self-proclaimed "wifey material." Is it their busy schedules? Their standards? Or something deeper?
The most profound moment arrives when they share a dating revelation: if you don't experience a magical honeymoon phase at the beginning of a relationship, run away—because it will never get better than how it starts. This wisdom becomes the cornerstone of their discussion about relationship red flags and the importance of authenticity. They warn about modern "con artists" in the dating world while emphasizing the value of trusting your gut when something feels off.
Whether you're navigating the dating wilderness or simply enjoy unfiltered conversations between friends, this episode delivers equal parts laughter and wisdom. Don't miss next week when they tackle pretty privilege, body dysmorphia, and the art of flirting!
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I'm Heather. I'm Lacey and we are not the same Are we as we are getting older, and we're just dimmeler, we're just dimmeler.
Speaker 2:There are moments where I'm like, hey, we actually do have that in common, and then like the very next thing out of our mouths will be something that's different. Like our breakfast that we're having Right.
Speaker 1:Yes, she had oatmeal and peaches, oh yes, we got fresh peaches from the farm in Leavenworth.
Speaker 2:Leavenworth, leavenworth.
Speaker 1:Yes, and it was yeah, plain oats.
Speaker 2:Plain oats and peaches, and.
Speaker 1:I'm having oh and a little bit of almond butter.
Speaker 2:Oh, oh, big spender.
Speaker 1:It was so good.
Speaker 2:You said that like it was such a splurge.
Speaker 1:It was. You said that like it was such a splurge it was. I'm like I even had almond butter in that bitch, though there's nothing like fresh peaches, though. Can I say that yeah like the skin peeled off.
Speaker 2:It was that good, I'm eating chocolate covered donuts, the many donuts that you buy at a gas station, because I bought them on the way here because I was like I should get a beverage, and then you know donuts and you so graciously provided me a uh, a flight of fudge, a flight of fudge a flight of fudge, it's true. I did my breakfast is chocolate covered mini donuts and a flight of fudge. There are four kinds. There's cookies and cream and peanut butter, and biscott and cashew coconut cashew coconut um, should I tell the story now about the nana?
Speaker 1:yeah, okay, I am not a fudge person. I do not like fudge. Never have I ever bought fudge in my entire life ever that's so funny I would never eat it right, this nana. As we're walking by in leavenworth, she's like come in, try. Lily starts walking in. I'm like OK, whatever. So she tries a little bite. I'm like you know, lily takes the half.
Speaker 1:So we split little sample size Right so we, whenever we do, because she tries to might try some. So she gives me a little bit and I'm like what the fuck is this? Now I I know this is fudge, nana, but like what do you put in here that makes it so magical? Because this doesn't taste like fudge, this tastes like magic. It is magic in my mouth. Now she knew. See that Nana knew. Once she got that into my mouth, I would make a purchase and then she rattles off with the.
Speaker 1:We're having a summer sale four slices for 35 or one for 16. What the fuck do you think I'm gonna do?
Speaker 2:okay, that's fair, I would.
Speaker 1:I mean I would about four anyway right, I'm not gonna buy one when I can get four, for yeah, yeah, yeah so then, financially, you made the right choice. Yes and also I have yet to have any of this fudge besides what I gave you, but I did sample them well, and I love how you told me you're like I broke you off a little piece.
Speaker 2:OK, fudge is rich as fuck. These are big pieces.
Speaker 1:I know how much you like sweets and we're going to be here for a little bit, so I know how you like to graze your sweets also.
Speaker 2:I do. I'm a yes, so that's for the next couple hours.
Speaker 1:Yep, that's fair. That fudge is also. It's not like fudge fudge, it's like a white base, I guess they all kind of are, besides the peanut butter. So I don't feel like they're super like. Oh my God, overpowering sweet, like that's good.
Speaker 2:I was able to try it, not like cloyingly sweet.
Speaker 1:Have you tried any yet? No, I haven't. Oh, do it? Um, you decide. I really like the biscoff, although they call it airplane cookie, which, funny enough, every time that I'm offered a biscoff and I'm flying, I'm usually going to a show and so I can never eat it. And on the way home I'm like, oh, I'm gonna eat that cookie, and then they never fucking have the cookie why don't you get the cookie on the first flight and save it? Because I always know it's gonna be be smashed to pieces.
Speaker 2:That's fair. Yeah, they do crumble.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's a bisque off. That one's good. That is not fudge. That's not fudge. No, I don't know what the fuck that is, but that's not fudge.
Speaker 1:Because it's like a white chocolate or whatever base.
Speaker 2:It's not like fudge fudge. It's not fudge at all, but it's really good. That's why you're like oh, what is this? It doesn't taste like fudge, because it's fucking not. Well, because, are you thinking? Because fudge has to be like chocolate? I'm thinking of the consistency of flavor.
Speaker 1:This is not oh well, they sell it as fudge and it tastes amazing, it tastes good. Yeah, it's not bad at all, it's just although yeah, I didn't go for any of the chocolate ones because, see, I'm not like a chocolate they had another one they had a s'mores one that was very fudgy and I, because it was a chocolate base, I much prefer the non-heavy, but I probably wouldn't eat that.
Speaker 1:I mean like this reminds me more of a nougat than a fudge, which is why I like it, because it's not super heavy, and okay, this one right here is a cashew coconut and I actually really like that one.
Speaker 2:I absolutely hate coconut, oh shit, I'm still gonna eat this, it's it's a little coconutty but it's really cashewy.
Speaker 1:Love cashews, yeah, so the cashew kind of balances it out it's not like in your face coconutty, it's the aftertaste.
Speaker 2:I can taste the coconut in the aftertaste. That's not as bad as I thought that would be.
Speaker 1:I did not taste cashew at all okay, see, I tasted the cashew consistency in it, but you know so, nana, that's what these are nougats to me.
Speaker 2:Okay, all of them taste like a nougat, so, nana she is doing something different. She's like I'm just gonna lure you in something different I'm gonna lure you in.
Speaker 1:But she also did show me and they were making it in the back real ingredients, real cream, real butter, real sugar, none of the like I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but the peanut butter one is my favorite, and I don't even like peanut butter, you don't oh my gosh, I forgot. That's where we like.
Speaker 2:That's one of the ways where we're like, not the same, because I don't know if I can trust you we don't even keep peanut butter in the house, unless ashton specifically asked me to buy him a jar, and then he'll keep it in his room and he'll just eat it with a spoon, because the only time he gets peanut butter okay, full disclosure.
Speaker 1:I am a nut butter connoisseur. I freaking save all my fat grams for nut butters. So we have almond butter in the house. I have fresh ground almond butter, fresh ground peanut butter, fresh ground cashew, usually a justin's, usually one with no sugar, no salt, anything. And then I have powdered peanut butter and powdered almond butter because then I can, like, put that on my egg white pancakes.
Speaker 2:I do like that sounds so disgusting I know they look, they.
Speaker 1:They look and smell amazing and the kids are always like let me try that. And then I give them a piece and they're like no, that's not a pancake. I'm like it's an egg white pancake. Okay, it's an egg white, it just has it looks and smells like a pancake. Yeah, gross gaslight yourself I do.
Speaker 2:I do like the pound, the powdered pb2 fit um because I will put that in protein shakes when I remember to make them, which is not consistently so that's what I use.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for the topping on my egg white pancake. I just make it like extra runny and I drizzle it over the top.
Speaker 2:Sounds awful okay, so good. So, aside from the not fudge, fudge, what else did you do in Leavenworth?
Speaker 1:oh, um. Should we back it up because they haven't heard the um? Or should we talk about Leavenworth and then go backwards?
Speaker 2:I don't care okay we don't have rhyme or reason on this podcast. I think anyone who's been listening? To us, to a consistent amount of time, is very aware that we have the best of intentions when it comes to like rambling.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I'll just start back. Okay. Yes, I have been doing all the things in the last. It's only been two and a half now three weeks. It's been three weeks now since right, three weeks or two weeks?
Speaker 2:I have no I have no conception of time. I don't either. Anyways, went to MaxFit.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, I won, yes, we haven't talked since then no, so I am Well not like officially, Me and you have. We've actually hung out a lot you knew right away, like we've talked multiple times yes, and we'll get to that, because we've hung out like three times in 24 hours and crazy, like literally three different times, not like consecutively. Like left each other met back up, left, each other met back up left, each other met back up.
Speaker 2:I'm very impressed with those, me too. We and and we remembered to take photos at one of those.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, we would have at the other one. But then the way they get you out for that early show is like quick, I forgot. I'm like why don't they? Oh yeah, because the night show has that ability, because they get to linger around yeah, we don't get that ability.
Speaker 2:We have to do it in the front end. There's choices? Yes, there's choices.
Speaker 1:So from now on, now I know picture in the front get it early. Get it if we're going to an early show. Picture in the front. Okay, loop it back around. You know how we do the cul-de-sac. All right, here we go. Also, do you guys notice how much more energy I have? I'm not over here like you can't see me but.
Speaker 2:I'm like laying yeah, I mean I noticed. Let's be real. I'm the one who had to be like I could see you declining through episodes and I'm like this one's gonna be cut short and then ran it was like 30 minutes.
Speaker 1:I'm like, okay, we're done. I'm like, looking at the clock like it's five minutes in. Are we done yet?
Speaker 2:are we done yet listen guys, if we ever have a short episode, heather was done it's hard sometimes, man, you don't even think about it until you're out of it.
Speaker 1:And I am reversing now. So like things are not, like they're getting back to normal, but I definitely feel like a human. But I fucking won. So first pro win, ending my yay, I'm like we need a high five. You can't see that, but we did it. Oh, speaking of, we do have plans to be recording.
Speaker 2:Hold a sec. We keep saying that, but this one is a plan we think we can actually follow.
Speaker 1:Yes, like we have an execution and like so you wait, you wait, we're gonna have a little studio set up.
Speaker 2:It's fucking we're figuring things out. We're gonna have like a permanent thing.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's and then we're gonna record live and on youtube, so that means you can hop on and ask us questions live soon.
Speaker 2:Don't abuse the privilege.
Speaker 1:Don't abuse the privilege. I know there's going to be a few of you.
Speaker 2:We have to promise that we will be as honest as we can be. However, we are allowed to plead the fifth.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I think we have a limited number of times we can plead the fifth.
Speaker 1:I always love to answer the questions, so I'm good. Unless it's like I'll always answer, it depends on what it is.
Speaker 2:I just also have a corporate job.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you, I can answer all the questions. I can answer all the questions I already towed the line.
Speaker 2:Let's be real. But I don't think anybody actually that like of concern listens.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, we're good.
Speaker 2:We don't actually do anything. It's just questionable and we don't do. All we do is talk about things we used to do, because now we're like, yeah, we don't do anything.
Speaker 1:Now we're boring we just garden every once in a while. But we garden and like laugh and eat and then stare well, and this is that's for me. I have medical mine is actually medicinal. Yes, mine is too. I have. Like you know, we live in the state of washington and have a PTSD specialist who actually educated me in the world of weed and she's like the head of the women of weed board and like the women of weed.
Speaker 2:Is that what it's really called? Yes, wow, literally.
Speaker 1:Wow, they actually look over and help certify, because there's not like a certified Anyway.
Speaker 2:So like non-pesticide, natural, healthy as can be yeah, marijuana, not the stuff we used to get in high school, when you literally know and actually there's a lot of stuff out there that's not good for you, that's just cheap and not great.
Speaker 1:And she educated me on the different strains and how they help with anxiety, which ones will help, which ones will not. Which ones will help me with sleep, which ones will not. And, um yeah, how to look at the pesticides, the solvents, all that kind of stuff. To you know, make sure that I am as healthy as possible.
Speaker 2:I'm fucking educated, I know, and it really helps.
Speaker 1:It really helps um okay, so yes, I won. Ended my rookie pro season with a win.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm so proud of you and nailed the look. Dude, you nailed the look.
Speaker 1:I loved.
Speaker 2:You definitely looked the best Like if you compare your different competition photos.
Speaker 1:I definitely think that you looked the best in that show, I agree.
Speaker 1:I mean I loved the lean look from Miami but obviously we couldn't catch the fullness Tangie, I did feel fuller, but we brought a better package um, a more you know, improved package. This time we nailed the conditioning, um. I got amazing feedback. We are going to take a little off season now, gonna grow the inner quads which I was noticing this front season or this season in my front pose, that my outer sweep is dominant, huge. Yes, so I it's fun to actually have something to work on, because I think last time it was like just grow glutes right, it's like okay I'm gonna grow glutes, that's fine.
Speaker 2:That would have been a moment that I wish we could have recorded your face, because you got so excited. You looked like a little kid when you were so excited I get to work on my inner thighs. I I can't fucking wait. That sounds like my nightmare.
Speaker 1:I'm going to crush you.
Speaker 2:I can crush someone with, not you, but I can crush someone with my inner thighs, not you, but just like person in general, you know what I used to have strong legs, because I actually, if I do work out, I prefer a leg day. So I understand it to an extent. But you take it to like Everest, how I do.
Speaker 1:I know it to an extent, but you take it to like everest, how I do, I know all the way, or nothing at all I know, but it paid off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was worth it. So, all of the hangry moments, all of the times where you snapped at me for no reason, it was worth it oh my god.
Speaker 1:We were just talking about this the other day, about how I defended my a whites.
Speaker 2:I didn't even say anything, no, and I got snapped at I'm like I walked in, but I was just talking to.
Speaker 1:Lily too. Lily's like mom, like you like. When we were in Florida and everybody was eating all the food and I was I had my egg whites in my cooler and then I'd bust out my salad bowl with my lettuce, my iceberg shredded lettuce.
Speaker 2:The fact that you packed and brought food on a trip like not even we were there for two and a half weeks so I did like costco trip and we had the whole airbnb.
Speaker 1:But yes, I always do. It's weird for me not to pack food I.
Speaker 2:I know you came we. I was hosting the fights at my house and we had all that you brought.
Speaker 1:I was in prep. Then, yeah, I was like whatever, I'll eat this, you eat that. I have my little soda yeah, everything and at this point it's just normal for me. I know it's not normal for other people, but it's like I'm eating mine, you eat yours it's good, I mean I will eat. We had a little charcuterie moment last night we did um dude, you guys.
Speaker 2:Last night we went to the comedy club and we went and saw pete holmes. And if you don't, know who he is. Please look so funny because I laughed so hard like I almost fell out of my chair.
Speaker 1:I was like, what did he keep saying? What is his line that he always says after everything and now I can't even remember it.
Speaker 2:Oh god, oh, and it's like until you said it, you know what I'm talking about. Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about, do you know? Do you know what I'm you know? Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Is something like that, or?
Speaker 1:do you know what I'm saying or do you yeah? Do you know what I'm saying or do you yeah?
Speaker 2:Do you know something?
Speaker 1:like that, but it was like I don't know why, but I caught on to it like halfway and I'm like OK this guy is just fucking hilarious.
Speaker 2:And like just the way he makes it. I already knew he was hilarious, but that was my first time seeing him live.
Speaker 1:And it was so much better, so funny.
Speaker 2:And I love that. He's all like this is the only time you'll hear it, I love it, oh god, it was so good so if you don't know who he is, check him out. Give him all the love go to his shows.
Speaker 1:Yes, so funny it was hilarious, it's great, yeah, so, oh, we have one. Had my mom with me, so that was great in Florida. So then they got to enjoy Florida for like an extra 48 hours. No kids, that was amazing. And Destin Florida is where we're going to be living, so I checked it out for us, love it, we're going to be really happy there.
Speaker 2:I thought we were moving to like um Clearwater. It's all in the same little area. Okay, perfect. I actually think I like India Rocks.
Speaker 1:Beach the most, fort Walton, destin maybe more of our jam because the kids there's more there I feel like Clearwater is when we go, when we're 50 and retired, you're the one who has kids.
Speaker 2:I mean I do okay, like by the time we move.
Speaker 1:Mine will be adults. I feel like more people are aged. I feel like clear water is like 60 retired. This is more like people are still moving around, but it's like and it's really so.
Speaker 2:I'm more clear water and you're more destined is what I'm hearing.
Speaker 1:I want to do both I like, but there's not a lot of like in Clearwater, like there's not a lot of gyms and things like that.
Speaker 2:See, that's where it is, there we go. I also like that.
Speaker 1:we could like drive to Clearwater in 45 minutes yeah.
Speaker 2:Do you know what I mean? That's what's nice about Florida and it's like everything on there. I know that's all like the.
Speaker 1:Gulf of America. Yeah, yeah, that feels. Do you want to hear something funny? I'm in Florida, it does. And I'm like, why are all these shirts on clearance? And then I turned my head and I'm like, oh cause, gulf of America is here, now Gulf of Mexico is gone. Couldn't we just get rid of them? Why do we have to clearance them?
Speaker 2:Like because it really obvious we could have sent them to mexico right, they could have enjoyed them.
Speaker 1:I thought this was like a weird trump. Okay, I guess I don't pay attention to the news or anything like that, and I don't care. Either way, it's not a great, but we're in miami in may and I'm walking by the store and it's like red, fucking white and blue, and it's like trump, everything and gulf of america, and I'm like oh well, america's back. Yes, I know, but it was like I was like, okay, that's just like what he's calling right? No sure that's what it is now. Yeah, no, they changed it.
Speaker 1:I know, but I didn't know that because I wasn't paying attention and so in miami I'm like, because it was stationed with all of the trucks just randomly in a storefront right and I'm like, oh and then it was just funny how it clicked together. When I saw them all on the clearance rack and I look over and it's gulf of america, gulf of mexico is on the clearance rack.
Speaker 2:Gulf of America is on the wall. That's so fucking funny. That's so fucking funny and I'm like this. I'm like listen, we are not going to get into politics? No, we don't, but that's funny.
Speaker 1:You have to admit that's funny 100%.
Speaker 2:That's funny and I am going to say that it doesn't matter which way you sway, but you cannot like it doesn't matter if you do idiotic things. You know what I mean. Like people aren't even gonna register if you did something good because you're doing idiotic things, and that's what people are gonna remember and that's all I'm gonna say about that.
Speaker 1:But it is fucking hilarious the funny thing last night about the mattress and Trump being like are you gonna save that? Are you gonna save?
Speaker 2:that I was fucking dying. You wanna save that? Did he get a new, new mattress or?
Speaker 1:did he get the old new one?
Speaker 2:There's just no bump on the bottom of the bed, oh my gosh. And his impressions were so spot on.
Speaker 1:I died. He was hilarious Go see him.
Speaker 2:So yeah, in Florida.
Speaker 1:So I won. That was amazing and had some good food, went around to all the places, had amazing key lime pie. That was what I wanted to do.
Speaker 2:So because she got to have like real food for the first time in a grip, I got so many photos of food. You guys, oh, can we talk about the brunch? Yes, okay, she sends me like a video of her food.
Speaker 1:Oh, I even gotta eat steak the night before because my body was going the other way again and coach was like eat a steak, so you're like I did research and this uh mcguire's, which everyone said was great, had amazing steaks. Yeah, it was like a 60 eight ounce filet, it was fucking amazing. I used to hate it. Yeah, it was like you know. It's good when it's like eight ounces is like you know 50, 60 bucks. That's a good steak, that's not necessarily true.
Speaker 1:I've had or more, well, okay, food in florida is really cheap. Can we say that? I can you think so? Yes, compared to here, hell, yeah, really. Oh, yes, eating out there that like fancy brunch mine and my mom's was like under 50 bucks. Dinner was like 75 for mine and my mom's yeah, we have different definitions of uh cheap well, because when I buy that same, stuff here.
Speaker 2:75 for two people to me is expensive but when?
Speaker 1:okay, for like I don't think to like. Oh my mistake. Anyways, I don't think that, comparatively, here would have been like 150.
Speaker 2:That's crazy I don't need it those places, so I wouldn't know oh well, yeah, anyways, I think it's great.
Speaker 1:It was great. So I had steak before that Friday, then also went back to the same place that the Saturday night for dinner, but went to it instead of getting and had another steak, this time wrapped in bacon with all the butter on top, and it was fucking amazing. And a salad and what else did? I have Baked potato and it was good. Oh, and then I had a cookie that night and it was amazing. Brunch the next day. Research the place, because I feel like brunch is where you go after show, like dinner is kind of like sometimes whatever is open.
Speaker 1:But with the side there, um, we did get done early, so we started at one because we were judged after mpc and then our finals were before the mpc finals. So we were actually done pretty early, which was really nice, um, and then went to mcguire's, had a good dinner and then kind of like, I feel like I'm always on a high afterwards. I'm like what do I do with myself? Maybe?
Speaker 2:especially because you're fucking one. I know it was like I know I was very excited um.
Speaker 1:So I kind of was on my phone like finding a place to eat the next day, found bistro ology. This place was amazing, uber, like it was a good 30, some minutes away, worth it, worth it. It was like I kind of put a story on my. I kind of I did put a story on my actual instagram which I should share it again. Like all the food that I ate, I should do a reel and post it on um, are we not the same?
Speaker 2:but the waffle was a pistachio cream waffle and it was like so amazing you sent me the video and the like photo of your beverage and waffle and I was all like it looks delicious, but you have to tell me that it's pistachio or matcha, because that is going to determine whether I love this or hate this and you're like it's pistachio.
Speaker 1:I was like fuck. Yes.
Speaker 2:I would, I would crush that that was what sold me.
Speaker 1:I saw it on their Instagram and they have homemade pistachio gelato that they put a scoop of right next to the waffle, so it kind of like melts underneath and the pistachio cream is on top and it wasn't super sweet, which I really appreciated, because I was like, ok, this is going to give me gut rot in two seconds.
Speaker 2:And I'm going to be.
Speaker 1:Yes, and at that point I'll be done in two seconds, yeah. But it was really like a mild sweetness, just really the pistachio flavor was really good. It was amazing.
Speaker 2:And then we should go to restaurants and do reviews.
Speaker 1:OK, yes, in off season. Yes, yes, that would be fun.
Speaker 2:I love food. I love fucking food Same.
Speaker 1:I love really good food and I love researching and finding what people like Places like places are good, you know like what? They're known for, and I like trying new things. So, yes, we should do this like once a month.
Speaker 2:Yeah that would be so fun, maybe even more and I mean because I get one free meal even more. I get one free meal a week, so I will say so. We went to denver for a week, me and my kids and I was so I'm probably gonna get hate for this. I was so unimpressed with the food scene everything was really bland.
Speaker 1:Okay, in Destin everything was like a lot of fried because it's a lot of party. I had to like really hunt around. We did go. I didn't eat a ton of food, more like I kept trying things. We went to the donut hole. That was like a place that everyone said we went there earlier so I didn't wait in line. I had their blueberry muffin and what else. We had like an actual, like breakfast. It was just like a basic eggs, whatever breakfast. So it was like, okay, it's just diner food. I wouldn't go there again. But their blueberry muffin was like amazing, I really wanted that. That's where the key lime pie came from. I had it later on that was amazing that was good.
Speaker 1:It probably ruined me for key lime pie. I'll never have it again. Besides, when I go to florida, I mean that's what's like. I mean they're known for, yes, um, but a lot of it was just like. Mcguire's was good but it was like Irish. So I don't know whether other stuff on the menu their steaks were really good Biner's and mash. Yeah, it was just like a lot of different stuff, sure, but a lot of it's like bar food.
Speaker 2:I did do like the taco rockin' tacos place and I a lobster roll. They have a place here, I know, but that's not convenient for me.
Speaker 1:No, but how about I bring it to you? You forget that I live a half an hour from you. I can bring it to you for lunch. Yes, do that. Do you want to do that?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Yes. The answer is always yes, listen, I fucking love food, love it, listen I can date you now of prep.
Speaker 1:I will bring over some lobster rolls in the strictly platonic. Yes, that's how it is with us.
Speaker 2:I treat you well we take turns being the boyfriend. Yes, although when you send me flowers I don't get it that's just your dumb luck I don't know what to tell you because you would have loved those flowers I do love flowers and they were more sticky things than flowers.
Speaker 1:It was very like there was an orchid thing and there was like stickies and there was like it was there's like rocks in the vase and it was very like goth meets modern meets you. That's so funny. I took and I was like make it fucking big you know what they keep offering every time I'm like yes, make it big. They do. They're like six flowers, yes, yes, I do want to add six flowers.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:I did. Do you want?
Speaker 2:to add six more.
Speaker 1:Yes, they're like yes, they would say that and they're like do you want to make it? They're like it was like A double yes, it's like pretty big, extra large, bam. Okay, like whatever somebody did, or it caused a fight, oh for sure, because some wife is gonna be like what your other wife? Because it just said husband. Or it was like perfectly timed for some wife that gotten some shit right, you might have saved a marriage.
Speaker 1:You don't know, my current marriage was dead dark dark but I also still refer to him as my husband, so that's kind of like people say like late husband. I'm like that sounds like I'm like 70. You know what I mean my late husband. That's weird. You can't say that when you're in your 30s. You can't say your late husband. That sounds like you murdered him, Doesn't it? Yeah, To me it does. To me it does.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, Sorry you guys, I'm just laughing so hard and no sound is coming out. Because, like, unless you're like 65 and janice you're not saying late, I mean you can have a different name whatever, I'm not hating on janice, but like I just don't feel like anybody who has lost a spouse can say late and then not I know they.
Speaker 1:I know they're weird. Well, you can, but for me I don't like it. Okay, I just say husband, but then that makes it weird when I'm like I was like what happens if they're like so where is your husband if you're just?
Speaker 2:like he's in an urn, a rock salt urn way more awkward than you'd say in late husband I know I'm awkward about it.
Speaker 1:People are like oh, are you married and he's dead. I guess that's worse than worse, than he's been late, huh, because like now we're to the point where some people like don't necessarily know and they just assume that, like I've been single for a long time, I wonder what people think my defect is. I'm like no, like you know, what do you mean? Like what's wrong with you? Why are you still single? It's like on my husband's dad. Oh, you know what I mean. Because I kind of wonder that now, like, why are you still single? I I want to know now what do you think?
Speaker 1:mine is your fucking picker of a baby dad that's why I'm single now, because he's I think it's well. It's the traumatization in your picker. Oh god, there's nothing wrong with you even my therapist told me my picker was broken there's nothing wrong you can say that and she's like yes, she can apparently she can say anything she wants and I back her on that, but you're getting so much better.
Speaker 2:I know I'm working on it. We're also single. Yeah, honestly, that kind of brings us to so maybe that's why Our topic today, because we suck at getting to topics right, but we have a topic Well, because we're not finished, we were catching up first, but we do have a topic. We do have a. It kind of relates to us being single.
Speaker 1:It does, yeah, okay, so I'll finish up what I've been doing and we'll actually get to our topic. But we're not even half. Oh, yeah, we are. We are about halfway. So this is good, because I'm almost done and then you can go with. I won't say California, but Colorado Starts with a C.
Speaker 2:Same thing. My brain. It's only halfway back, it's only halfway back.
Speaker 1:Okay, it's also in the morning, not done with all my coffee yet, okay. So one Florida came back and then I was like I need to go to the mountains because anyone who knows me knows I love to hike, I love hard hikes, and I looked at the weather and Diablo, and I haven't been paddleboarding a lot this season either at all.
Speaker 2:No, you used to go all the time, all the time.
Speaker 1:And so that's like my thing. The water is very calming to me. I love being out in nature and I looked up randomly and diablo weather was like fucking perfect, and if anyone's been on diablo in the north cascades, it's either perfect and 100 degrees. Also, by the way, the water is like 45, always freezing, it's glacier runoff or it's like 18 mile per hour winds and you're fighting for your life on this little lake and I have video and pictures of both and let me tell you it is not fun when you're fighting for your life. So I was like okay, here we are. It's uh, no wind, we're going.
Speaker 1:So I take lily. She's my adventure partner. By the way, before I've gotten weird comments from women who I don't even know are like oh, when I'm on your other kids or don't you have a son? My son wants to sit inside and play video games there's not one and hair on his body that wants to go hike in the woods. He doesn't even like to go outside. When I make him go outside, he sits underneath a tree on a blanket in the shade because I know how true it is yes, yeah, that kid like he.
Speaker 2:He is great at what he does, he's great at cheerleading, he is great at karate, but, like, that is where his interests and he's an inside kid.
Speaker 1:He likes pokemon, yes, and he does. He'll do whatever I ask him, but no, that's not fun for him. That is torture. Yeah, and he doesn't want to do any part of that and he's invited he just chooses, not now the short one. She's not invited because nothing about her says I'm gonna climb a mountain with eight or eight mile hike no no, nope so no, she stayed back.
Speaker 1:I got her some like really cute little sensory dough, though it's like a little campsite. That was fun, that was cute anyway. So we went hiking, came back and then I was like, uh, they went to school. And then I'm like, hey, lily, do you have anything going on on friday? You want to go hiking in Leavenworth? And I took her out of school so we can go hiking.
Speaker 2:I didn't realize you took her out of school for that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no joke.
Speaker 2:I took Ashton out of school for two days to go see the offspring.
Speaker 1:Pretty soon she's not going to have that point to where she can do it, because you know high school and stuff.
Speaker 2:My kids in high.
Speaker 1:I'm going to take Braden on his 18th birthday. We're going to get cheer that night, we're playing hooky, we're going to go to breakfast and I'm taking him to the casino Nice. I'm like, what can you do around here when you're 18? I'm like, no, I'm not taking you.
Speaker 2:The only thing you can do is like that's it, that's all you can do, because they took away everything else. You can go die for your country, or you can teach him how to.
Speaker 1:that's it which he's been playing blackjack and stuff with his friends. They like they're so they're practicing. Yeah, he has a lot of friends um, he's right now with his other family. I joke around, they're playing pokemon go yeah, they play pokemon go and all that. They're really into it and um, yeah, he has other interests at pokemon. I try to pay attention. I don't get it dude, don't feel bad. Ashton's super into anime and I can't and and I'm a huge nerd it's like my brain doesn't work that way.
Speaker 2:No, it's fine, ashton tries, I try, I try so hard to be interested in it. Just I'm not at all. So he shows me all of his things and I'm like that's so cool and all the whatever, but like I can't sit and watch it with him. I would literally like yeah, so it's fine, you meet them where they're at.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's only so much and I think I'm finally learning that this in my parenting journey. I know it's been forever, but it's like I think this year I'm finally like OK, the kids are such different ages Like I just need to meet them where they're at and they each get individual time and then we will have our. But it's just like we can't all come together as a cohesive family and everyone have fun.
Speaker 2:It is not possible anymore. Age gaps are a big part of that because so my kids are. Only Because Brayden and Kinsley are 11 years apart and they're different.
Speaker 1:They do like to game together, so that's weird, it's not? Weird, they can sit there and Kinsley will game and he will game and they are fine gaming. That's great. Um, yeah, lily's just like me, we just and she's very social and likes to be out all three of your kids are very different yes both of my kids are very different.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I get it, because even my kids like we do more stuff where it's one-on-one, we do the mother-son dates, so we do more one-on-one stuff than we do as a family. That's better, because we only do like big family stuff, like we go on vacation once a year.
Speaker 1:I mean that would be weird to do it was so good to know that my kids weren't the only ones that argue with each other. I'm like why, do we turn all the good times into bad?
Speaker 2:times I always get nervous going on vacation because, yes, vacation is great, but they stress me out, they're fucking expensive. My kids aren't the most grateful sometimes, which is frustrating, and they fight, and so they're. I love vacations but I hate vacations at the same time, and so always going into a vacation, I get all nervous beforehand about how it's gonna go. And, uh, our denver trip was fucking great. They didn't fight one time, not one fucking time. For seven days we were in a car.
Speaker 1:Is that why your Denver trip was good?
Speaker 2:Oh, that's why it was great, it was great Listen, though we were in a car for 15 hours no.
Speaker 1:I'm saying that was great, but was that the highlight?
Speaker 2:We drove straight there.
Speaker 1:I'm just asking a question Was that the highlight?
Speaker 2:Somebody lives in Colorado. I'm we drove straight there. I'm just asking a question was that the highlight? Somebody lives in colorado, I'm like was that the highlight? And I may or may not have broken my own code to myself, which I already broke the last time you visited anyway, it's fine, I approve I. I messaged you like instantly.
Speaker 1:So yes, I met up with I'm the friend that's going to encourage the bad behavior as much as I, but it's not that bad. It's not bad, it's fine.
Speaker 2:Here's the way I look at it. I'm not adding to my, to my. I'm recycling.
Speaker 1:I was oh this brings us to you Recycling. Did we talk about this yet? No, oh.
Speaker 2:I think we're changing our topic for the day.
Speaker 1:Okay for the day. Okay, we have some new verbiage. You are recycling. Listen, I am cycling this is.
Speaker 2:There's nothing wrong with listen. I have love in my heart.
Speaker 1:Do you want to define recycling?
Speaker 2:I will, but I I have love in my heart for this fella, but it's never gonna. It's never gonna be a thing. It's never gonna work because of him.
Speaker 1:It's his issues, his problems, that's on him does he realize that you want a long distance thing that doesn't require a?
Speaker 2:lot. I feel like a long distance relationship would be ideal for me.
Speaker 1:Yes, when you talk.
Speaker 2:To be honest. Yes, to be honest.
Speaker 1:Yes, where you text, maybe in the morning, maybe at night midday, send some photos Visit every couple of months. No, you guys vacation together.
Speaker 2:Vacation together I'd love that and then have separate lives.
Speaker 1:Yes, and you don't need a phone call, just a text.
Speaker 2:No, he thinks that we can't.
Speaker 1:Please don't call all the time.
Speaker 2:No, god, I hate it so much. Oh, my God, that reminds me of Lemon. Ugh, fuck, don't hang out with me for six hours. Leave my house, go home and call me and make me sit on the phone for an hour.
Speaker 1:I hate it. I'd freak out.
Speaker 2:I hate it, I need space, I want space.
Speaker 1:I would just like turn around and yell at them like what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 2:I literally was like why are you calling me? I hate speaking on the phone.
Speaker 1:And he's like I don't know. I would be like what could you possibly have done in the last five minutes that you now need to talk to me?
Speaker 1:Just in general, don't call me, don't call me, I'm realizing more and more and more how much I hate the telephone. I know I like to put it down and just like I don't like being chained to the phone, I do not like feeling obligated to text or respond or call. By the way, I use my phone as like. I'll get back to you when it's convenient for me Now if you need a response from me. I forget a lot or I answer you in my head.
Speaker 1:So a follow up text is always good Within reason yeah, oh yeah, but only if you're in the circle circle I'll block you.
Speaker 2:So all of this isn't relevant to anyone, I'm just kidding. There's like five of us, no, but I do realize how bad I am about responding.
Speaker 1:I'll either text you back right away or I answer you in my head and, like one of the three children needs something, or I'm doing something like yesterday we were gone nonstop. We did goat yoga, we.
Speaker 2:Which was so fun, I did a posing seminar, and then we did the comedy show. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I was like busy. Yeah, I was like that a lot, and then I sleep.
Speaker 2:I feel like I've noticed that, like even on my social media and stuff. I just haven't been on it as much I haven't freeing you guys, I haven't posted on. We are not the same facebook page in like almost three weeks I haven't posted on instagram.
Speaker 1:Okay, that makes me feel better, but I'm gonna get back to it.
Speaker 2:So here we go but even like even my concert or whatever, posting photos from the vacation or whatever, I was like late normally I'm on it and then I was like, oh shit, I haven't done that yet.
Speaker 1:So much stuff from show to post still and everything. So we'll get around to that. It's fine, it's actually real life.
Speaker 2:So I bet you everyone's like this, it's not just us yeah, but the whole thing is this this fella thinks that long distance wouldn't work lacy put on her recycling hat so I, I in the beginning.
Speaker 2:He visited and I was like this is it, it's done. I, for my own mental health, I'm not gonna do it again. And then he came and visited again and I was me and I was like, oh, okay, yes, absolutely, I'll come and hang out with you and do all the things. And then he lives in Colorado. But here's the thing, okay, here's the thing.
Speaker 2:This fella, who will not date me, who lives in Colorado, was in Texas when I got to Colorado and moved his entire work schedule around to fly to Colorado to meet me in a hotel parking lot in the back of his truck Effort Right. See, this is what fucks with me. This is where I'm like well, maybe there's a chance I become dumb and dumber, like in the moment I'm like he literally flew from Texas to Colorado. But then in my brain I'm like but just to hook up, like that's a lot of effort to just hook up with somebody. So we did it twice. He came back two days later and my kids slept through it it. They were in the hotel room sleeping. I met him in the morning. It was fine. No, no one was the wiser it was fine it's fine.
Speaker 2:I got my kicks in. It was good. I'm held over for a while and I didn't add to my number, so recycling works so recycling is where you go back through your discard pile and you decide.
Speaker 1:You decide which one. Is it rusty or broken or too far gone for me to reuse?
Speaker 2:Right. Which one is it which is going to bring me the least amount of shame? Which?
Speaker 1:one do I not need to shop from, because let's be real, let's be real.
Speaker 2:I had another card I could have pulled yes, and I have prevented myself twice now.
Speaker 1:Let's also not like as a woman. You have plenty of cards, you can always pull.
Speaker 2:Okay, but there are.
Speaker 1:That brings us a pretty privilege in our next.
Speaker 2:These are my two right. Okay, I have a motorcycle and this is a pretty privilege in our next. Uh, these are my two right. Okay, I have, I have motorcycle and I have situationship and I've worked very hard to distance from situationship because that one hurts my feelings.
Speaker 1:I know, not like him as a person, this situation I know, I know I'm like, oh, but I hate that you're my friend and it hurts your feelings because I want to punch him in the face, but then he helps you and so I'm pass. He's a very sweet person, which is why he gets a pass.
Speaker 2:He again just people just don't want to date me, All right.
Speaker 1:I don't know what it is, because you don't really want to date, because they're like in town. They're in town and they require more than you want to give. That's not what it is at I don't know. I don't think you really want any of them.
Speaker 2:We were kind of talking earlier I don't remember if it was on here or not on here about what is it that keeps us single? What do other people think the reason?
Speaker 1:is oh, we did talk about this. Why are you damaged? Why are you not?
Speaker 2:Why are you single? What's your thing that's keeping you single? But then I think maybe some people just want to find themselves and work on themselves, not everybody is super damaged Some people have you know, like there's not necessarily like I feel, like I only find those ones.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Let's be real.
Speaker 1:Well, they're usually the love bombers, the ones that are like things that are wrong with them. Yeah, the damaged ones, the ones that are coming to hurt you.
Speaker 2:Part of it, part of me being single is definitely me. I don't actively like really put myself out there like same. How many times am I like, okay, I'm done with the dating apps and then I'll delete them and then I'll re-download them. But even when I'm on them, I'm not like actively on them, so like I've been on hinge for a couple of months, I think. At this point I've talked to maybe two dudes. I will say both of them stopped speaking to me as soon as they realized how busy I was. So that is definitely part of why I'm single. I am the same.
Speaker 2:Yes, we know because you've seen yo-yo, specifically, specifically, said more than once and more than one occasion.
Speaker 1:Part of the problem is you're so busy I'm like I didn't get any more busy since we first started talking, like my life has always been you knew ahead of time.
Speaker 2:But my whole thing is me. Being busy doesn't negatively affect you, no, and also, if we get to the point, unless you're a clinger.
Speaker 1:Unless. And then once we're to a point where, like I will trust that you're not just going to like I don't know it would take. It takes a moment for me to realize OK, this is worth, like investing, especially in the yo-yo situation where I got dropped all the time as soon as I'm over, yeah, over as soon as I was like okay, fine, here I am. Okay, fine, you got me, I'm showing up for this 100 I know every time, every fucking time, and I'm like every time I'd be like lacy, it fucking feels weird.
Speaker 1:I'd always feel the vibe switch and then within 48 hours, it'd be like yeah, I'm not really feeling this anymore because you're busy. Blah, blah, blah and I'm like I fucking knew it right, you spent.
Speaker 2:You spent weeks convincing me. And then the second, I finally say yes, you're not interested, because all a yo-yoer wants is the chase but we've. We have a new name for the collector I feel like yo-yoers and collectors are not necessarily the same one overlaps yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So a collector is some, is a person it doesn't have to be male, it doesn't have to be female is a person that keeps people on the shelf, so, listen, keeps a good relationship. Here's the difference, because you have, you have a yo-yo, you have a collector and you have recycling, and they all seem very, very similar, but I don't think they actually are no, the collector, I think, is more like look what I've had, look what I can have. Yes, it's, it's more for show, yes and getting clout.
Speaker 1:You can pull it off and use it as you need to. Yes, it's.
Speaker 2:It's a tool for using the person as a tool for your ego and they can.
Speaker 1:I say when I landed why do I feel like I'm used a lot like that?
Speaker 2:Because you look like you, and I don't mean that in a negative way. It's because the whole point is they want to show something off. So Johnny Bravo, for example. He felt he very much felt like he got clout simply for dating you Because he used to make me.
Speaker 1:He'd be like, why don't you? I posted him all the fucking time, but he wanted every single picture to be with him.
Speaker 2:He wanted me to like do everything very angry, yes, yeah, very passive, aggressive, very like he was the worst anyway, but but so that's the thing, right? So then? So, now that y'all have broken up, he's still trying to find somebody of your caliber, because he is a collector wannabe, he, he wants to be, but but we've destroyed him.
Speaker 1:And now he can't. Oh, can we talk about the Johnny, johnny Hold on Johnny Bravo signing the other day? This was funny.
Speaker 2:This is so funny. There's a site. It's like Bigfoot, tiny ankles Saw your ex the thief at Walmart.
Speaker 1:I almost tripped his ass and I was like best message ever. Thank you, so funny.
Speaker 2:And then you send it to me and then I send it to you.
Speaker 1:And then she says my boyfriend saw him and said that dude is a douche and clearly uncomfortable in his own skin. He couldn't make eye contact with anyone. Then I told him the story of him and he said I was wondering why. He looked like you were going to trip him and what did I say?
Speaker 2:I said she should have done it because he would have fallen hard with them. Tiny ankles?
Speaker 1:Yes, she should have done it. He would go down easy with those tiny ankles. No stability.
Speaker 2:You barely have to trip him and just topple over.
Speaker 1:That's like one of many, but that's what it is.
Speaker 2:You are literally a definition of what somebody would say a trophy wife. I would love to be a trophy wife I'm not even joking.
Speaker 1:I know you're not like.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's my calling, but that's what it is. So I'm a collector.
Speaker 1:I was luke's like trophy wife.
Speaker 1:You could say that he treated me like that held me up on a pedestal, gave me everything I wanted, treated me like can't relate, like we would argue, but like I remember, I don't one of our very, not like very last arguments because he died, but like you know, because you grew up together right we used to have like stupid little arguments and I remember like the turning point one time was like I don't even remember what we were arguing about. It was like after one of kinsley or lily, I don't remember. But anyways he was like I just fucking love you, no matter what. And I think it was just like because we were arguing, it was like mid. He was just like shut the fuck up, I love you.
Speaker 1:This is like fucking dumb like I love you, so you might as well just like stop fucking fighting, because I'm never gonna not love you and it's pointless, and I'm just like I remember stopping and being like all right, I love you, then it just fine. And I don't think we ever thought about anything stupid ever after that. Like it, never. Like yeah, he'd fucking annoy me, but it was like it was so different. It was like okay, this is like married, like this is what it is, like, that is your teammate.
Speaker 2:Like no matter what, it's actually a partnership, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:And like yeah, yes, yeah, and like yeah again. Like you would get annoyed at the person, but you like love the annoyance, you know what I mean. Like it's like ah, but whatever. Like it becomes like I don't know and I don't know if I'll ever find that again. But I'm down and I'm a good wife. I cook, I work out that's what's frustrating for me.
Speaker 2:I very much feel like I am wifey material, like I don't know how to not be a wife, I will give somebody 150% and that's how I start. You do. And maybe that's my problem is I start and I will literally give you everything and then my level of effort decreases based off of your level of effort. Like I just want someone who's?
Speaker 1:going to match my level of effort, which might be unrealistic. No, if they don't match it right away, walk away. Yeah, because that's the best it's ever gonna get.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh my god, I was having this conversation with my bonus child. Like it gets better in different ways.
Speaker 1:As you grow up, you're gonna get the best version of that person. Yes, oh my god, we are so on the same page, literally.
Speaker 2:I was talking to my bonus child about this. I was like, if you do not have a honeymoon phase, run away because it will never get better than how it starts in the beginning. Because that is science, like that, everybody is putting their best fucking face forward to try to impress into court and all the shit right, so that's the best you're ever gonna get. Then it settles into who somebody is, naturally so if you go into a relationship and you don't have that fucking honeymoon phase, you go in and it already feels like you're in the middle of a relationship. That's what I said with the last two people I dated, with, both the Cowardly Lion and with Lemon.
Speaker 2:I was like God, it felt like I just jumped right into the middle of a relationship. How? Why? Was I surprised when it went fucking down from that? You know what I mean. That beginning is the best you're going to get. So if you don't get that level of effort right in the beginning, if you don't get that, you're never gonna get it. You're never gonna get it. And that was I. I was telling him that and blowing my own mind at the same time, because I was like the first time I heard it was when I said it. You know what I mean. Not that I hadn't heard it a million times, I'm sure, but like it was in that moment it hit me when I was trying to help him and I was just like damn dude.
Speaker 2:So that's the whole thing, Even even though I recycle, and that recycling versus yo-yo yo-yo is like you are leading a person on recycling is like a mutual thing where both people know what it is and both people are down with that situation, Like it's a friends with benefits type of situation. Is what when you recycle, right Are you?
Speaker 1:telling me so, so if you're recycling you have to get. The other person has to know they're being recycled.
Speaker 2:I think so and okay, in my world? Yes, my, I don't know. My person is very aware of what I'm doing, because he is doing the exact same thing.
Speaker 1:We are literally recycling each other I guess I just haven't been in the race, I haven't been in the recycling.
Speaker 2:You haven't. You have been in the yo-yo game, yo-yo and the collector game when I don't really have that. I don't think any of my exes like tried to say, oh, I dated her, like as a flex, I don't. I don't think that's ever happened. Yes, it has, I'm sure. I think so. I don't think that's ever happened?
Speaker 1:Yes, it has.
Speaker 2:I'm sure Do you think so I think, so I don't know. I mean fucking Fat Roger hid me. So I don't think he even admits to people now Prison.
Speaker 1:Aaron Carter is like oh, he's still obsessive.
Speaker 2:It's weird, that's going to be like you were going to be. I'm his pedestal.
Speaker 1:Yes, that's fair. But he yes, that's fair, but he didn't make me that until after, which was weird.
Speaker 2:That's another, that's another problem in and of itself. Yeah, um, yeah. So colorado was good. Colorado was good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, colorado was good so what do you call that? Sorry, so what do you call that? What, what? Being put up on a pedestal like that?
Speaker 1:well, like after the fact yeah, like you treated me like I think aaron carter has a lot of relationship and then afterwards put you on a pedestal, because I think he realized I don't think he ever thought he was gonna lose you, no, he didn't absolutely, absolutely, because I stayed for everything yes and through. So I don't I mean, I don't think that he thought he was ever going to, and then when it happens, the way he fought so hard, so so I don't know. I just think he's fucked up person and I don't think there's any change.
Speaker 2:There's no title for you. No, it's just he's a mental.
Speaker 1:Mentally I can't even process what might be going on up there. It's fucked up and it's scary and no one should go there.
Speaker 2:It's and no one should go there. It's he's a special, he's special, yeah. So I'm glad you escaped that. So many things that I want to say about it, but like for what and like how and like I don't even know how to talk about it sometimes because it makes me feel really dumb. Like no, you were young, I was young, I was 18 when me and him got together.
Speaker 1:And I was listening to it. Just, we get manipulated, you know and you stay and you think. And we didn't necessarily come from the most loving, stable households, so we weren't taught what like appropriate love and care looks like.
Speaker 2:So do you think that? So what is it called? And maybe we have a name and maybe we don't. What is it when somebody just wants to be with somebody and they don't necessarily care that it's you? That's an attachment disorder, isn't it? They're just attaching so or like oh wait, hold on.
Speaker 1:Are they using them, like Johnny Bravo did, to like use and abuse and con artists people? Because apparently there's this new wave of men coming up. New show on Netflix, need to pitch my show. So the twin, the tinder, tinder swindler girl yeah, he's hosting a show now and each episode features a new person that was conned by the show. Yes, and it's coming out and I'm like, um, hello, yeah, and so it's this whole new wave of men and they're exposing them now and what they're doing is their whole thing is they go and they yes, and they go through woman after woman and they have like, well, I guess there's there's one that's a man that gets used to, so she's like it doesn't discriminate there.
Speaker 1:They do show a man, sure, but uh, oh, for sure she said that men don't talk about it because they think that they shouldn't be victims, and it's much more shameful for men, it goes back to the idea of pretty privilege, which we'll talk about in another episode, because we're gonna fucking talk about right after this, but you won't hear it till next week.
Speaker 2:This is fucking related to that, to be honest, because people are like well, because, she's a girl, they use okay.
Speaker 1:So some people have no feelings, right.
Speaker 2:They are incapable of loving and so they look at humans, yeah, and so you have to fake it.
Speaker 1:You have to learn from watching other people, yes, and so you became. You become a vehicle with which to supply whatever it is they need, whether it be money, care, stability, whatever. They'll just use you, yeah. And then, when it's gone, they go to the next, but they pray on it's like the long game thing, right, so they're. But in the end they get more from you, right. So they just pray on you, manipulate you, and then you start. I could go into my story so much. I look back and I'm like, holy fuck, I remember so many times all the stories about his checks not going through, needing money for xyz, and you just think, oh yeah, I got you. No worry, because you assume that that person on the other end is going to do that for you. I came out through a marriage that was like it was us right, like right.
Speaker 2:You just do that right, you don't keep score, you just got each other.
Speaker 1:Yes yeah, and then, looking back, I'm like, I just like and it's funny because I literally have looked at messages just to look for my own benefit and it was when I stopped paying for things was when he started stealing from me. Yeah, when I sent him a text message saying I am done paying for you. You are a 34-year-old man, yeah, with no children.
Speaker 2:I have three children I'm not supporting you anymore, and that was when my stuff started getting stolen that makes sense, but I do think I I think it's something that is definitely on the rise or at least right.
Speaker 1:So I'm excited to hear is that at least more like known. Yes I think that just social media and people being able to um talk about it also, because there isn't any hard laws on that type of emotion, like that type of abuse, yes, um, because it's in a domestic thing, people think they can get away with it. So men are taking, like people's retirements right, like, say, like saving it's like, yeah, tens of thousands of dollars.
Speaker 2:I mean I got taken for 24, 25 000 yeah, which is crazy at the end of the day when you think about that like I know, adding that all up made me like fucking sick especially. The thing that makes your situation, I think, more unique is the fact that you had like an actual regular relationship for an extended period of time prior and I think that was what put me, because I wasn't out in the dating world.
Speaker 1:The last time I dated was fuck forever ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like there was a one time, me and luke like kind of love that some things are just for us.
Speaker 1:Okay, I didn't know how to like, I had to act it out. That was charades. It was a full-on fucking charades moment.
Speaker 2:You know what I'm talking about? I do, but the funniest part was like even if other people would have seen that and they wouldn't have known, they still still wouldn't have known. They'd be like what the fuck? But that was fucking hilarious. Jesus, I can't wait till you guys get video. It's gonna be great. Yeah, just briefly.
Speaker 1:And Luke had dated somebody too Briefly. Yeah, that was like it and that was still what we were like. 24, 25? God yeah. Like 24, 25, god, yeah, that was the last time. So that was like what, 14, 15 years ago wait, was it that long? No, it was 10 years. It was 10 years ago.
Speaker 2:it's 20 yeah, I was like 22, so okay, I was 29.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 29 there was like a six month period where we were not together yeah, I remember I was there.
Speaker 2:Yes, I can't get over your charades. Yes, it was kind of you know what else you could have done? What?
Speaker 1:I should have just said that I was wondering what the nickname was. How do I keep forgetting that?
Speaker 2:That's the trauma that I block out of my head Because, listen, sometimes we forget like literal chunks of our life, like I forgot an entire like year of my almost a year.
Speaker 1:I forget that the flash ever existed.
Speaker 2:All the time that one's on purpose, that one your brain is purposely trying to be like. You don't need that. No, you don't remember that forget that.
Speaker 1:Get rid of that one, the amish flash.
Speaker 2:Get rid of them, oh my god, get rid of it.
Speaker 1:Get rid of it. Oh, I love how the universe blesses me by never having to see these people ever again. I have never run in, ran and run into. Words are really hard. Today I'm so happy I've never ran into anyone.
Speaker 2:I've ran into exes multiple times. I have not ran into fat Roger, so that's great, that one's important. I need to not ever see that person ever again.
Speaker 1:I don't think he goes out in public. To be honest with you, I think I don't even know if he lives there to be real? I think he probably should, not.
Speaker 2:There's too many um ghosts that wander around spokane for him that I feel like person to a lot of people, a lot of people.
Speaker 1:So I'm sure him and fucking johnny bravo are in the same boat. But johnny bravo's on bail. God they're probably.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, court is not until november 15th yes, because they keep just extending it, because we won't take a deal, that's fine, because we're still going to show up and I'm not going to let it go, and you're never going to know. We're never going to let this go. Oh my god, he's never going to hurt anyone else, ever again. We will be there.
Speaker 1:The fact that he, like, told me he was a child counselor and used the whole like when I first met him that's lying is like the mark of the con man.
Speaker 2:Right, they lie about shit they don't even have to lie about, which, to me, is so weird.
Speaker 1:I guess I just don't understand I'm gonna be really good at asking follow-up questions now, yeah and digging, and then you have to go through my friends, you have to go through lacy, you gotta go through ashley, gotta go through felina, oh, and ashley has like connections yeah, she can find, she can dig out.
Speaker 2:The might run you by lydia too. She knows everybody as well so like no one I will say that, like when I first started dating lemon, you were the only one that was like I don't have a good feeling about this because, like from the, and you hadn't even met him or anything because I was just hearing the stories, you were like something about this feels off. Yes, yeah, it did and it was.
Speaker 1:Yes, I was like okay, keep going, but be very cautioned, because it doesn't sound right.
Speaker 2:I dodged a huge bullet on that one. We learned the after story and I'm thank goodness I got out of that. Yeah for sure, go on. I'm very proud, proud of myself. I am too progress, because I very much feel like he was the like he is, a con like who he presented himself out to be right I learned later was not at all okay.
Speaker 1:So this is definitely like red if you're not okay. I've only ever shown up as my true, authentic self. Maybe it's a bad thing, maybe I'm too harsh, maybe I'm just I don't know. I'm just myself 100, and if you don't like me, that's fine, like I don't need a million friends.
Speaker 1:I don't. I'm just myself. I please myself. At the end of the day, there's no reason for me to be anybody else. My kids love me, whatever. So if your person is like the vibe is off, it's weird, or they're not presenting as their authentic self, do not give it any more time because, like why being nervous is different than like presenting yourself a different?
Speaker 2:way as a different person, 100%, and that's why I have my 90 day trial period. Like people think it's funny, we should shorten that we should shorten that to 30 day trial period. No, that's a little more.
Speaker 1:You only get 30 days on an Amazon return, why are you giving a human being 90? Because if somebody is holding on a facade.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're busy. We can't maintain that level of a facade for more than 90 days. You might be able to do it for 30 days, though, and I don't want to be like, yes, I'm gonna fucking attach my name to this because I feel good after 30 days. No talk to me in two fucking months, because my whole thing, from beginning to end with lemon, was eight weeks, from our first date to the when I finally got him to believe me that I broke up with him because it took multiple tries. That was eight weeks, so that fit within the 90 days I learned and that you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So I feel like 90 days is fair and he does not go on my permanent record no, that was good that was good. Yeah, I'm so much better all right.
Speaker 1:Well, we're at um an hour damn see.
Speaker 2:When you're not all exhausted, we can just talk and talk, and talk I know I'm like oh, we have stuff.
Speaker 1:Well, all right, besties, um, we're gonna wrap it up for today, yeah, um, well, not for us for, but for you for today. We have a great episode coming up next Pretty privilege meets um pickup lines. Flirting meets Body dysmorphia.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, kind of just all of that kind of like rolls into one.
Speaker 1:So we will see you next week. Bye, bye.