we are NOT the SAME
We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos!
we are NOT the SAME
Mega Aries, Minor Chaos, Major Healing
What happens when the scary card isn’t scary at all? We pull “death,” talk through what real endings look like, and watch it open a door to rebirth, revival, and a softer self that finally gets to breathe. Along the way we get honest about the weird panic that arrives when life improves—how fight‑or‑flight lingers, how self‑sabotage masquerades as realism, and how steady communication in a new relationship can feel suspicious when you’re used to chaos.
The spread reaches beyond symbolism. Nurture becomes practical: watering your own grass and letting safety grow slowly. Surrender becomes a permission slip to love again after loss without erasing what came before. The beloved shows up as balance—two people filling each other’s cups, protected by clear words and small daily acts. We share the unglamorous work behind that balance, from resisting old triggers to asking for help before a spiral takes over.
We also wade into astrology as a language for patterns, not a script for fate: double Aries fire, Cancer sensitivity, Capricorn structure, and why “knowing your chart” can feel like finally getting the why. Mental health is on the table too—bipolar type distinctions, psychosis, medication that keeps the floor steady—and the courage it takes to honor routines that keep a brain safe. There’s laughter in the cracks (hello, Mega Aries), but the throughline is clear: closure, care, and choosing the path that protects your peace.
If you’re rebuilding after manipulation or bracing when good things happen, this conversation offers tools, language, and a little light. Press play, subscribe for more honest readings and real talk, and share this with a friend who needs proof that joy can be safe again. Then tell us: what cycle are you ready to end?
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We are not the same. I am Lacey. I am Heather. It's been a week for you guys, but it has been thirty seconds for us. We literally clicked end and record. So ha, here we are. I didn't have to wait, like I said. Yes, it's time for Heather's reading. We are excited.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, Jack was getting the cards ready.
SPEAKER_04:Next time, can we not put a time constraint on it? Because I feel like I could sit here forever.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know. I mean, I'm glad mine's over. Lacey's like, I'm glad it's over. I'm like, we could have shortened mine. No, so the reason I'm excited for yours because I I feel like my outside perspective is that things are really good for you. But I I know based off of our messages back and forth that you're having a lot of anxiety about the fact that things are good because things were really shitty for a long time. And so it's like you're having a realist, right?
SPEAKER_04:Was I being a realist and saying, you know, things are like too good to yeah?
SPEAKER_02:No, not necessarily. That's not what a realist is.
SPEAKER_04:No, I was joking. It's supposed to be fucking funny because if they listen to the last episode.
SPEAKER_02:I'm saying if you were a realist, though, you would recognize that it's good.
SPEAKER_04:You know, I like just recognizing patterns where half of the time where I call myself out, I'm like, do I just self-sabb? Like, you know, I'm not obviously gonna do that. But like, you know, when your intrusive thoughts, yeah, when you're so self-aware, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, why did why does my brain even go to that? Why does my brain even give me that fucking option?
SPEAKER_02:Because you're so used to the fight or flight. And so you're questioning, is this an like, am I supposed to be in this mode? Because you're so used to that being your default. So, like the thing that I love about both of you guys is for one of the same reasons for each of you is whenever you're like having a moment, like you guys can reach out to me and I can talk you down, and that makes me feel really good about myself.
SPEAKER_04:Uh, see, we like that part of your brain. It doesn't, I don't have that. I'm an area.
SPEAKER_02:I can't do that for myself, but I can do that for you. But like, so you'll message me and you'll be like, I feel like things are turning, or I feel like things are going bad, or whatever, and I'm like, okay, so tell me, and then you'll be like you'll realize in that moment, you're like, oh, there actually isn't really anything, and it's just my anxiety, and and you're good. And yours is always a little like fuck this job, we're gonna, I'm gonna quit and fuck the business and all the things. And I'm like, tell me what you couldn't do, and I'll do it for you, and then we fix it and you move on. But I think so it's like the same thing, only different, but it makes me feel useful, and I really like feeling useful.
SPEAKER_00:Because you you also bring a lot to the table. Yeah, you do, you bring a lot to the table, and I think it's hard for you to be in that because I feel like I like it when I do good.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I like it when people are happy with me. Okay, what'd she get?
SPEAKER_00:She got some good ones.
SPEAKER_04:I was like, I was nervous.
SPEAKER_02:And it's the same thing. You're nervous about the good.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, because you never know. Very rarely has my good been good. Last time I was sabotaged. Girl, I get that. Yeah, I mean I was conned. Excuse me. I was conned.
SPEAKER_00:You were conned, betrayed. Oh yeah, they moved into January. Did I tell you that? We just found out.
SPEAKER_04:We just found it yesterday.
SPEAKER_00:That actually explains some of this then, because the cards that I'm pulling out, they're good, but there's some things where it's like, what's happening? So let's start with the card that everyone hates, death.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. But that means rebirth, right?
SPEAKER_00:A lot of the time. Um or it could just mean that a cycle is dying, kind of like what we had in your last reading. It's the end of a cycle, you have to navigate the new one. In Heather's situation, you've let go of something that's incredibly emotional. Something that it is really hard for you to even think about because you get emotional, and I think I know what it is, but um, it's something that has really been weighing on your heart for years. Um, and I think that it's finally you've you've made like a peace with it. It's something that you no longer feel uh hurt or um maybe maybe even anxiety over. I think it's something that you've really come to terms with, and I wouldn't say accepted, but you're ready to just let it fly off into the wind and you're not gonna revisit it again. I'm not necessarily sure what it is, but I think I know, and I I know you know. Lacey definitely knows. Um, and that's gonna bring me to the rebirth card. You actually got the rebirth. So this is a new cycle. We talked last time that your transition, you know, you were at the peak of a transition, you were healing, you were going forward. Now you're having a rebirth. You've invented something in yourself that you've wanted for a long time. You've put in the work energetically, emotionally, probably physically, even is what I'm seeing. And you've you've really transformed. It's like a caterpillar going into a cocoon and then coming out and being a butterfly. That's rebirth in a lot of different situations.
SPEAKER_02:Um and the nice thing about that is it can apply to you in multiple ways because if you look at like your business is growing and all that kind of things, and you're f in a healthy relationship, and you know what I mean? Like, and all of those are things that are like new-ish but growing. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:There's also you I'll read the rest. You got nurture, revival, surrender, and the beloved.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00:We'll go to revival. There's something that you've buried in yourself for a long time, something that you were avoiding, something that you were unsure of, something that maybe was about yourself that you were like, I'm not gonna share this with anyone else. I feel like that's come to light and you're ready to look at it again and be like, this is a part of me. I'm gonna let it shine, I'm not gonna hide it from anybody. It's like a vulnerable aspect of yourself that you thought was a flaw and you're learning that it's a gift. I feel like that's what that one means. Um we know that you're very nurturing in heart. You are an Aries. Aries wear their hearts on their sleeves. As fiery as they are, they're very vulnerable when it comes to love and protecting the people that they care about. I think you've Sorry.
SPEAKER_04:Sorry, we're at my my daughter, somewhere. I hear her in the background, she's very distracting. So hopefully Kinsley will stop making noise since everybody can hear her. And I'm hoping that's the end of it now. Um, I hope everyone can just uh let us continue doing this. They're getting really antsy, making lots of noise. Okay, we're gonna continue now, and everyone's gonna be quiet upstairs. Okay, that was the last and a final warning.
SPEAKER_00:Kids. So nurture. Yeah. It looks like you've nurtured a lot of aspects in your life that definitely needed it. I remember the last time that we did a reading, I think it was last time. You were in a place where you were in the unknown, you were kind of in a limbo, you knew what you wanted, but you weren't sure how to get it. I feel like you've nurtured that part. You really put growth into you watered your own grass. You've watered it where you are. You haven't looked at the grass is greener over here. I'm gonna go over here. You're like, I'm gonna tend to my garden and I'm gonna have it grow. So I think inwardly, that's a lot of what you've been practicing as an Aries, a double Aries. You're fiery.
SPEAKER_04:You have an edge about you.
SPEAKER_00:But you've become well, you've become more into your like softer, more feminine era. You finally feel like you're blossoming into the woman that you've always wanted to be. But because of certain people that keep getting a court date pushback, you didn't feel like that for a long time because you had to be masculine. You had to be the someone had to be the man. Yeah, you had to be the rough and tough take charge. And now you have your needs that are being met to where you can nurture that softer side.
SPEAKER_02:I love that, which is so important, and it's so important to be around somebody with masculine energy to allow you to live in your own femininity. I very much believe like that men and women are meant to complement each other, and the fact that people get so far away from that general idea like has caused issues. So it's nice to see that you get to get to just live in that. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And I think it's a lot a lot a lot to be said that you've got the beloved card because it's it's the romance card. So this is two people pouring into each other's cups. Um, this card is showing that they're blossoming together, they're growing. You have, I believe that's a raven flying overhead, and ravens are like a protection. You know, if you start, if you befriend a crow or a raven, they follow you for life. They protect you. I have two that are outside our house that follow me out to my car every morning. I've been feeding them and giving them things. So I'm just kind of building that relationship. This shows that it's flying over the head of the man and the woman here, the people that are in love and embracing each other. It's a protection. So, what is growing between you and this relationship, I'm feeling, is sacred. It's something that you've avidly been pouring into, but you're also getting that equal balance in return. So you're able to pour into everyone else's cup while yours is also being abundantly filled. And I think that this relationship right now is exactly where you're supposed to be, and it's a really good thing. Um I told you. I got a card.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, you never know what you're gonna get.
SPEAKER_00:Surrender is the other card that you got. Um, surrender is a different one. You can see here that on the card, this woman is sitting and she's has a light and she's letting it go. I think that this is said to be something about a death that you had with a loved one, and we know who that is. This is you allowing yourself to have that love again. And I think that this whole reading is about you accepting what had happened in your past relationship, and he and you will always have that love between each other, but this is also like a permission that you can have that love again now for you. I like that. Yeah, it was good, yeah. You just think I feel bad. You are not the same.
SPEAKER_02:I like I feel so bad. No, it's good. I'm so that the reason why this is good is because this is stuff, and I'm the skeptical one, right? I was the one in the very beginning, I was all like, I don't know, I don't know, but I'm also the one now who's being like, you gotta trust what you're seeing now. Like, are your are your reservations justified? Absolutely, but like don't allow yourself to to use that as an excuse to to not see what's happening now.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, I'm fully like in the present and just living like as it goes.
SPEAKER_00:You're really taking it day by day, and you are learning to accept that you don't have to be the man in the relationship, you don't have to be the one spending money to like feelings.
SPEAKER_02:And this person actually communicates when they're instead of just like being angry and just not and you know what I mean? Yeah, not passive aggressive, just being like, hey, just so you know, this kind of bothers me. Like that's love that that's huge. Love that that's huge in a relationship, and that I feel like that's I overanalyze and think I don't want to have to. And now this person is being like, listen, if there's a problem, I'm going to tell you.
SPEAKER_04:And I love that.
SPEAKER_02:But you have anxiety because you're so used to not getting that. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I think you put in the work. I remember the last time there was a lot of, I think we also had the death card, and it was like, you've gotta let some stuff go. And I self-sabotage, we talk about it in witchcraft all the time. Self-sabotage is a thing that we do, and it's only natural as a human being to self-sabotage, especially if something makes us uncomfortable. We never want to step out of our comfort zone. It's really hard to do that, especially if you don't know the outcome. And when you've suffered trauma where you develop CPTSD, you want to play it safe. So if you are going into a place that you aren't aware of, you're not gonna go because it's really hard to understand that you know, if you step out of your comfort zone, this could happen or it might not happen. And so you really put in the work, I think, to let go of a lot of things. You really spent a lot of time working on yourself, you reached goals, um, especially physically, you reached a lot of goals, and and I think emotionally you've really elevated in the fact that you've accepted you've accepted that this is a good thing for you, and you've you've had the effort put in. And I think that that last reading was really more of like once you let go of this, this is what's going to come in. Once you close a door, three more doors open up, right? It's just which one do you go through? And I think you found it.
SPEAKER_02:I also think like it makes sense because like the last time your rebirth was almost like with your your career and what were you gonna do, and allowing yourself, allowing yourself to be successful in what you want to be successful in because you were in a position where you were being held back by somebody purposely.
SPEAKER_00:You were also being sabotaged by someone else, it wasn't necessarily just self-sabotage, staying might have been self-sabotage, like you knew, but we all are victims of that because as feminine human beings, we always were loyal, and we always want to make sure that that person knows that we love that.
SPEAKER_04:To a false kind of thing, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so, like that's I feel like last time it was almost referring to your to like you that part of it, and now this part it's more related to the personal relationship aspect of it, and and like you did that part check, and now you're doing this part check. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of cool.
SPEAKER_00:And I think too, what's to be said about the healing aspect of it and being healed from you know your marriage with Luke. I think that for a long time you were looking to try and revive that in someone else, and it wasn't happening, and so you kind of had to let that picture go.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I don't think I ever thought that I would find the same. In fact, like I never I never it because it's it's so different. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Like you're never like well, and it's like you look at all the relationships, you know. I've had significant relationships where it's like they kept getting better.
SPEAKER_04:I thought maybe like the Johnny Bravo thing was like actually like gonna be until like Yeah, then the yeah, but not after that first time. There was just a string of manipulation and conning and lies.
SPEAKER_00:Well, and I think a lot of people don't understand like the manipulation and how masters of manipulation can really brainwash you into not under like not seeing the perspective that outsiders can. Yeah, like we knew your close friends knew, like this guy is a piece like this.
SPEAKER_04:Far side of it, yeah. So far removed, it's like, how the fuck did I not feel that?
SPEAKER_02:Because you have no idea. Doesn't it feel like you like literally were under a spell and now you're not? Yeah, yeah, it's weird. It's like that's brainwashing.
SPEAKER_00:Because and and you know, everyone else like it. Yeah, and everyone else will see them and be like, Well, they're so good, they do all these things for you. But be behind closed doors, you never know.
SPEAKER_02:That's why social media is scary because like you the the image that people put out there is not the truth.
SPEAKER_00:Well, if you talk about vulnerability or you talk about, you know, everyone has an answer for you, but why if we all have the answers, then why is it still a thing? Yeah, you know, and I was one of those women that was like, Well, why don't women leave? And then it happened to me, and I was like, I tried leaving, and then I had to go and get a protection order. I won't and I had to submit paper and go to court three times in order to get protected. I tried multiple times to keep showing up.
SPEAKER_04:Even after he stole all my stuff, he kept trying to come around.
SPEAKER_02:I couldn't get like restraining order. I couldn't get prison Aaron Carter out of the house because he had squatters rights.
SPEAKER_00:I served him, I served him, and he it still took months to get him out of the house. Yeah, men who don't want to be left are dangerous, and I don't think a lot of people understand women too, women can do it. Yes, statistically, it's men, so I'm not yeah, I'm not trying to be sexist, but I think that And this is our personal experience. Yeah, this is this is all experience, and I think that when you go through something like what you experienced in your situation, and then to come out of it and be accepting of the fact that someone does want to do the things that you had to do in your last relationship, it's it's a nice change, but it's also getting that that confirmation that this has meant for you, and it's also really hard to do, like to accept love after a traumatic relationship is very, very difficult.
SPEAKER_02:So, like the amount of growth that you had to go through to be able to do that, because obviously I'm not there. You know what I mean? But like so, so power to you on all levels, basically. Basically, you're awesome. Like, thanks fuck off.
SPEAKER_04:Thanks, and I it's not easy, but it's a tribute.
SPEAKER_02:No, and it's not easy, and that like that's that's part of what you need to hear. Like, you know, it's not easy, but you're still not giving yourself full credit. So I hope you hear that.
SPEAKER_04:No, I do.
SPEAKER_02:Because like I try really hard to be like Heather, like I fucking see it. I just want to make sure that you see it too. Thank you. I do.
SPEAKER_04:I do.
SPEAKER_00:And I think I'm I am more now.
SPEAKER_02:You're doing better.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I feel like it's always on the you know on the back of our minds too. Going from a horrible relationship to a healthier one, it it has its own challenges.
SPEAKER_04:And it was like a year. I mean, there's been like a year. Yeah, it's yeah, it has been over a year.
SPEAKER_02:It's been over a year. It was at the beginning of October.
SPEAKER_04:Like, because I we me and this, me and the boyfriend, I don't know, like we don't have a nickname anywhere, so we don't have nicknames. We don't have nicknames. Um, I don't know. Do we use n not yet?
SPEAKER_02:Boyfriend's fine. Yeah, yeah, like we all have to be.
SPEAKER_04:Um, but the timing, and actually we had just discussed this. Like, I think it to the timing of being like, you know.
SPEAKER_02:It can be the right person in the wrong time. That's a real thing. Absolutely. That's a real thing because you especially at our age, like you guys gotta be at people have to be at similar places, you've got similar rankings, you've got to be on the same page. Like, there's so many and things like that change over the years. So if you're both not in the same place at the same time, that doesn't mean it's not compatible necessarily. It just means that not right now. Yeah. But that's not for everybody. No. Don't don't take that as a blanket thing. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02:It's like that was more for myself because motorcycle's coming in.
SPEAKER_03:I do want to know too. I'm not. It's more self-sabotage, but I'm aware of it.
SPEAKER_04:But it makes you happy. See how I am? I'm like, I don't know. Temporarily. And you know what? I enable her. It doesn't matter what it is. I cannot. Um she tells him, like, yeah, go for it.
SPEAKER_00:She's like, bounce off each other, though. Like, you guys are like chameleons too, because when you when you need her to act like you, she can do it. She'll be like, Oh, she needs a heather. I'm gonna be her heather. And then vice versa. It's I witnessed it, I can attest to it. Um I yeah, I think it's and I want to point out the two different readings too, because it always is right where you're at, right? It's not looking into the future. We do bring up past things, but right now in your energy and where you sit astrologically, you're you're the damn sun. Yeah, you're a sun, you're an Aries and you're on the right path and things are going really well. Things also are going well for you. Things are they are comparatively.
SPEAKER_02:I will say, yeah, comparatively, yes. Really well.
SPEAKER_04:And we have to do that in your in your life.
SPEAKER_02:I am aware that things are better, and I'm also aware that I didn't just sit in the things, I immediately reached out and was like, you guys, something's off, and I want to, I wanna nip it in the bud now.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm I'm honestly like, I'm between the friendship that we have all cultivated with each other and the fact that we can do these readings and have these vulnerable moments with each other, I think that's also something that's huge for you as well. I mean, for you too, in different ways, Heather, but for Lacey, I think there's better.
SPEAKER_04:I just don't give a fuck what anyone thinks.
SPEAKER_02:Right, which is why double Aries. Which is why you're better. I care what everybody thinks. Is that is that a double Aries? When people tell me they listen to the podcast, my end-I think Aries.
SPEAKER_04:Because you're I think you're an Aries. Like, you think you're an Aries? Oh, I'm an Aries Aries. Is competitiveness an Aries quality? Yes, probably. Like, I feel like I just made that competitive. Oh, you're an Aries? I'm a double Aries.
SPEAKER_00:But I can't remember, are you an Aries moon or an Aries rising?
SPEAKER_04:I think it's rising.
SPEAKER_00:See, if I if my app was working, I could pull it up and look at it. I think it's rising this morning. You have my book. I swear it's rising. It's safe in my studio.
SPEAKER_04:It's rising because I looked and I was like, oh, that's interesting.
SPEAKER_00:Because I'm like, so I don't know what the difference is. So rising is emotional. So you're you have your sun, your moon, and your rising. Yes. Your sun is like your outward, like how you how you do things.
SPEAKER_04:They work very hard at not emotionally reacting.
SPEAKER_00:Your moon is your We are not the same.
SPEAKER_04:I'm like, I literally have to give myself a couple minutes, like, okay. I need to like process that, let myself feel it internally, and then we'll go from there. Yeah. We're different. I can be very reactive.
SPEAKER_00:Very different. You are not the same.
SPEAKER_02:So is my cancer is my is my cancer um sun or moon. I think your cancer was a moon. What's the one that most people use? Like the sun. Because that's what my cancer is, then because that's your sun sign is when you were born.
SPEAKER_00:It's the time, it's where the stars and everything was aligned the minute you were born. That's why we usually like to ask the time that you were born. Well, because I because then we can get an overall look at your birth chart.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, because most people don't know about the three, they just know the one. Yeah. And so is the one the sun, or is the one the moon?
SPEAKER_00:The one is the sun. Okay. You always want to know your sun, your moon, and your rising. You really want to know your whole chart.
SPEAKER_02:Well, I now know I'm a double Capricorn, and that's just boggles your mind, and I still don't really get what it means.
SPEAKER_00:Well, anytime I get someone that's a double, it's just like, wow, you know, what did you do in a past life to get here? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Me, what did I do? Why do you always get this look every time you start laughing?
SPEAKER_00:Well, so I'll put it this way Talon is an Aries and I'm a Taurus, so we butt heads constantly. Sure. Um, I'm stubborn in the sense that if, you know, the the grass is red. If it bothers you, the grass is red for me. As long as it pisses you off, I'm will be on a scale of one to ten. How petty am I? Tom. I am Tom fucking petty. Yep. I love that fucking response so much, and I'm going to use that. On a scale of one to ten, how petty. I'm Tom fucking petty.
SPEAKER_02:I've never heard that in my life, and you just changed me.
SPEAKER_00:I love that.
SPEAKER_02:Feel free to use it.
SPEAKER_00:You heard it here first.
SPEAKER_02:I am gonna use that. That's amazing.
SPEAKER_00:A double Aries. Now you have to look at an Aries from you know a sun perspective. An Aries is fiery. They don't care. If if you're pissing them off, they don't.
SPEAKER_02:You can't use someone just because they made you mad and not feel bad about it.
SPEAKER_00:But they deserved it if they made me mad.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, double Aries.
SPEAKER_00:And and they have said it. It wasn't a thing. It's very justified. Their tempers go from zero to 120 in 0.2 seconds. Yes, they knew. And so the beer bottle is it. Yeah. So, but Aries are so strong. And I think that's why, you know, they're like they're so in their way because they know what they're capable of. Their confidence is like they're the most confident sign, I think. A lot of a lot of people say Geminis, but Geminis are off of ego. Aries are because they know that they can. So Heather's like, Oh, I'm a bodybuilder. I know I can be a bodybuilder. And look at her.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, that's fair. You are really good at whatever. You have receipts, and a lot of signs can't say that. I'm stubborn just to be stubborn, but you're stubborn because you know you can back up your stubbornness. And so being a double Aries, especially having your Aries as a rising, man. I just love this. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I feel so I like. What is Capricorn then? Because I've only ever grown up with cancer. I hate the man of my designs. There's gonna be a GoFundMe up for help Lacey with her cancer. No. Um, but you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_04:So like I don't even I've never been help her, she needs the D.
SPEAKER_00:Stop. She's stuck with the C. So you are an earth sign.
SPEAKER_02:But see, I thought I was a water sign because I'm a crab.
SPEAKER_00:A Capricorn?
SPEAKER_02:Oh, okay. I no, I because see, that's what I'm saying. I only ever know I only know the cancer part of it.
SPEAKER_00:So a Capricorn Okay, so you're ambitious, disciplined, practical, responsible, patient, hardworking.
SPEAKER_04:You can't have them all.
SPEAKER_00:Hardworking, I am 90% of that. And you are wise. That's just it. You are wise because you're so self-aware. You're aware of other people. You can actually manage other people's lives.
SPEAKER_02:That's a strong suit of yours, which is why you're my people leader skills is the thing that I'm best at when it comes to being a manager.
SPEAKER_00:So Aries are also leaders, but they're more emotional, so it's harder for them to be as structured. You are structured, you love being organized. Aries are not organized, they're like, I'm gonna do this, and they do it.
SPEAKER_02:But that's where my AHD comes in. Organized chaos are still organized. I want to be organized and I'm not good at it, but I want to. I'll buy all the planners, all the journals, all the apps, all the things because I want to be that person and then I just fucking can't do it.
SPEAKER_00:Um, you can be prone to uh being a workaholic, becoming overly focused on goals to the detriment of personal life.
SPEAKER_04:It's you.
SPEAKER_00:I'm called out again. Um it's you.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So I wish my app was working. I hate using Google for this. Uh, because I know I have you both on there.
SPEAKER_02:Um okay, so So it's almost like my signs are competing with each other then, because like the cancer part of me is more the emotional part of me that I ignore, and then the Capricorn part of me is the practical part of me that I embrace. Is that a fair is that a fair reading of myself?
SPEAKER_00:Well, I would I would say that. I would say yes. And I I also think that being a cancer, so because you're a water sign, because your cancer is the sun, um the your ruling planet is the moon. So you're just dark by nature. Uh so we have to get the tattoos.
SPEAKER_04:We do, and we're going to. We just need to figure out where.
SPEAKER_00:So your weakness is uh for your sun sign, and you cannot get mad at me. Moody, overly sensitive, defensive, clingy, and pessimistic.
SPEAKER_02:The only one I don't agree with is clingy. I I don't know what the hell I would be clingy to.
SPEAKER_00:I wouldn't say clingy to people, but I would say clingy to like the certain things that you have to have your way.
SPEAKER_02:Uh we could say OCD patterns, which is yeah. I'm a little OCD. Yeah. I'm all my money has to be facing the same direction. I think you're clingy.
SPEAKER_04:Don't look in my wallet. I think you're clingy to finances.
SPEAKER_00:I am clinging to money. You are clingy to finances and how you how you use kind of benefit you though. That's why we all have with us.
SPEAKER_04:This is why I'm the idea woman. I'm the one that will go do it. I'm the muscle.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, literally.
SPEAKER_04:You're the logical financial.
SPEAKER_02:I'm the behind the scenes. Like, I want to run the business and I want y'all to be the face of the business. That's that's definitely yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Like I'm I love being the owner. I don't want to do the stuff that I have you do. And then you're like, I don't want to own a business, but I want to be in control. Right. And that's weird.
SPEAKER_02:I was like, I don't want to own a business. I want to run a business.
SPEAKER_00:And she's like, Tauruses are compatible with cancers as like, you know, uh romantic sign. Obviously, not us, but we're not gonna marry you either, Janessa.
SPEAKER_04:Are we not a compatible friend sign?
SPEAKER_00:We also are because Aries, so Aries and Taurus and Scorpio, there's a few others, but are very like strong, hard-headed, determined. Well, we're also we also have tempers and we're stubborn. Now, again, our stubborn sit on different aspects of the spectrum, but um, you're stubborn also, but like in a different, in a pessimistic way. So we're all set in our ways. Everyone else. Stop calling me pessimistic. Realist. A real thank you, a realist.
SPEAKER_04:Um, so she likes that word better. It's more fitting.
SPEAKER_00:I'm just gonna get her a bumper sticker that says IBS and then realist.
SPEAKER_04:I be shitting. I'm the realist. I'm the realist because I be shitting. Oh, there you go.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my god. I will not put that on my vehicle.
SPEAKER_04:You won't. No, you won't. You won't know either. You have a lot of things on your vehicle that you didn't know about.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, you're gonna make me be OCD about my car now, and I'm gonna have to like do a lot of people. She'll never have car problems again. I'm gonna have to do a Chinese fire drill.
SPEAKER_04:After she finds the first one, she'll never look for the second one. We'll just get a couple.
SPEAKER_00:We could just keep putting them on there. Yeah, she would never know.
SPEAKER_02:Do you guys want me to be institutionalized?
SPEAKER_00:Because Honestly, I've been needing a vacation.
SPEAKER_04:I feel like that's a far away. I uh got institutionalized for like 12 hours and you thought that they were gonna come after me.
SPEAKER_02:I didn't think they were, I was like, I can't go in after her. They won't let me out.
SPEAKER_04:Like if they took her, they're definitely taking me.
SPEAKER_02:I was like, I am way more loved.
SPEAKER_04:She's like, someone else has to go in there because they will definitely take me. I was like, if they kept her, I have no chance.
SPEAKER_02:Um, you know, the few stunts I've done, they weren't mad. That's how you know the difference between type one and type two bipolar. If they have been institutional or if they are type one. In fact, that's the first question they ask you when deciding. How to diagnose you. The very first question is, have you ever been institutionalized? The second question is how many days are you manic?
SPEAKER_00:And those are the determining factors. Yes. Because it is different. And then when you have rapid cycling, you just never know.
SPEAKER_04:And see, mine was like a force without my will. I was like, I thought we were going to group EMDR therapy. They're like, we don't do that too. Dude, that was a crazy.
SPEAKER_02:And dude, think about how things were then and think about how things are now.
SPEAKER_04:Like, I will never go with somebody when they say we're going to a group EMDR session ever again.
SPEAKER_02:We also learned that's not a real thing.
SPEAKER_04:Also, don't tell people that you haven't brushed your teeth because you're sad. No, they do not. Hello, my husband just died. There should be some extenuating circumstances. Right.
SPEAKER_02:Like brushing my teeth is literally the last thing on my mind right now.
SPEAKER_00:Well, the reason they ask you questions is because they want to see what your answers are and your processing time. So, and a lot of the time, if you are manic, your pupils are dilated.
SPEAKER_04:I didn't answer my questions. I didn't answer my questions.
SPEAKER_02:It was a you refuse to fill out the form.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, so somebody filled it out for me.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that wasn't good.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. That's that person that doesn't work anymore. That person lost their job.
SPEAKER_00:That's a good thing because that's definitely a a violation. Yes.
SPEAKER_04:She did give me Xanax though.
SPEAKER_00:So honestly, the cocktails that they give you, the antipsychotic cocktails, they can't. She's like Jeff's kiss.
SPEAKER_04:I just had I just had Xanax. It was like, all right.
SPEAKER_00:When you're seeing things and hearing things and you think that you're on fire and like you have a whole bunch of things in you. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So again, that's the difference between type one and type two.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god, I'll I'll be a little vulnerable. I talk about this sometimes, but when I was in massage school, they had a strict policy that if you missed an important test, you basically failed and you had to, you know, you had to basically restart the program over. Um I had a mental breakdown, and I usually have one every like eight to ten years where it's I have to go to the hospital, and I'm usually admitted, and then I usually do a week or two, and I have to rehabilitate, and they have to get my meds, you know, it's a whole ordeal. And I, the first time I was ever institutionalized, I was 13 and I didn't know what was going on. I woke up in the middle of the night, I thought people were trying to break into our house. I was like, Where are the guns? Where are the guns? And my parents were like, What? Don't give Janetra a gun by the way. So if I'm in psychosis, I it can't be dangerous. And I I worry about the future of healthcare. Yeah, because like if and a lot of people are like, Oh, you won't, you won't hurt yourself, you have a child. When your brain doesn't work and you don't have control over it, you will it's you will do things that are just unthinkable. Taurus, so and I'm I, you know, we are a violent sign. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Taurus and Scorpio are sister astrology signs, and they are some of the most violent signs. And so being type one bipolar, it can be a little dangerous. That's why I like to take my meds. Um, so in in massage school, I had a breakdown and I woke up and I was just sobbing and I just wanted to die. It was just really hard and stressful. It was the day of a test. And um, around seven, I finally called my mom and she's like, What's going on? And I just I couldn't even speak. I was crying. She's like, Yep, hold, I'll be there in an hour. I'm gonna get dressed and I'll be there. She took Talon to school. Um, she came home and like I was like, I'm not going to the hospital, I'm not going to the hospital. We ended up going to the hospital. And that's all those stories usually go. And when we walked in through triage, she was like, She's in psychosis, type one bipolar. They immediately took me back. They wouldn't even let me be in the waiting room. Um, because it's one of those situations where you don't know what's going to happen in the waiting room. If anyone looks at me sideways, who knows what could happen?
SPEAKER_01:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And so, and I'm not saying that because I think, you know, I'm a hard bitch. That's not the case. No, your brain doesn't work. It's literally, it's I'm I'm diagnosed as clinically insane. It's an actual diagnosis. Lacey's laughing because she's also diagnosed that, but her paperwork probably says differently. Um, but so it was, and I don't remember much of that day because as soon as I got those cocktails, I was flying high and I was happy. Um, but it's one of those things where you I'm so loyal to my mental health because I know what it's like to not be medicated. And my teen years were pure hell. And I used to hate my parents a lot because I just didn't understand. And now as a parent, my son recently got in trouble. And I understood what it was like for my parents at that point in time because he's 13.
SPEAKER_02:It is interesting how much becoming a parent, like I've I've learned grace.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've learned grace. We we have our problems, but I've learned a lot of grace towards them. And being bipolar, I talk about it with you know my close friends, but it's one of those things where you just you really need to be on top of yourself and be self-aware. And I think too astrology-wise, you should know your astrological science because that tells you so much of yourself. And I think in society we try and conform.
SPEAKER_02:I would say, especially for people like me who like I thrive on the why. I need to know why. Knowing why about anything automatically makes me have a better feeling towards that thing. It can be a negative thing, but I will feel better about it if I understand the why. That's actually part of my downfall because sometimes there isn't a why, and then I like I can't accept that, and like that's that's bad. But like, so understanding the astrology and like learning more that's how come when I found out that I was autistic and ADHD, and I was like, oh my god, that makes my whole life make so much more sense. And like it was almost like a sense of relief when you were like, technically, in theory, you're getting bad news, but but at the same time, I didn't view it that way because I think now I get it.
SPEAKER_00:Well, and I think as children, you know, you're not you're born and you don't know anything, and you know, you have kids that especially when they're two and three, why, why, why? Yeah, and a lot of the time we brush it off. And when I when my son was a child, I was like, let's try and answer this. And so when I really got into like witchcraft and astrology and the beliefs that I have now, I did a ton of research and it it actually opened my eyes to, oh my gosh, I'm not just this weird freak of nature, like this is real stuff. And I think a lot of people are still having a hard time with I don't need a diagnosis, I don't need this. But why not? Because it might actually enhance your life and you might not have these feelings that you know of self-loathing and just like you hate yourself because I went through a period of time where I just hated myself because I was like, I'm so I'm not like anyone else. And then I realized I'm actually like a lot of people. I just had no idea because the opportunity to have that education wasn't out there.
SPEAKER_02:Well, and I feel like it makes you feel seen. Like I'll read a horoscope that directly applies in a way that's uncomfortable, but that makes me feel really seen in that moment.
SPEAKER_00:You know what I mean? And so I think you know, learning these things, and you know, you don't have to learn cards, you don't have to do witchcraft, you don't have to do any of that. But I think actually sitting down and and just start with your science. You know, Google, sure, that's out there, but there's lots of apps, and you know, learn your birth chart, learn yourself because it can really change how you live life.
SPEAKER_02:And don't let it throw you off if your stuff isn't right all the time. Because like it can't be. Heather, we both downloaded that same app. Co-star. Co-star, and hers is way more accurate for her than it is for me, to the point where I stopped using it. But like, she'll send me, she'll check it and then she'll send it to me. And then we have a discussion about is this relevant, is this not relevant? So that we're like, we want to make sure that we're taking what we should from it, but we're we're not taking everything like super literal about it, which is helpful.
SPEAKER_00:Things can change, and I think a lot of people, you know, oh, tell my fortune, tell my future. That's not necessarily what it is. It's more this is the path that you're on. If you're feeling a limbo or you're feeling stuck, or you're like, there's I need to know something, that's where the cards come in. But you know, astrology-wise, if you look at your chart and you start learning all of the things that, you know, coincide with astrology, you'll actually learn so much more about emotional anger, you know, what you're meant for, what you're good at, what you're not good at. It's like an aptitude test. But it's literally it, it opens up so many more doors because it's you, it's personalized to you. And so it might be weird having like an app tell you about yourself, but that's what astrology is. You're born at a certain time, and so everything that cycles through in orbit is going to change your mood, your, you know, depressive episodes, manic episodes. I mean, it can. So I think it's interesting that you know, if you have the ability to look at those things and learn them because they do play a huge part in who we are, and it it's backed by science. Some of it's backed by science. So it's definitely a thing.
SPEAKER_02:When I hear descriptions of Aries, I literally am like, oh, that's Heather.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I am Mega Aries. Yeah. That's gonna be your new nickname. Mega Aries.
SPEAKER_03:All I can think of right now is Scott Pilgrim. There's just the world. And if you wanted the if you were one of the ex-girlfriends, Mega Aries. Is that what I'm talking about? I'm such a nerd. Sorry.
SPEAKER_04:That's so funny. Mega Aries. Yeah. That's me.
SPEAKER_03:I'm gonna have to like design a photo or something.
SPEAKER_04:You do, please, and post that, Mega Aries.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god. You have to get a you have to get a shirt. No, you have to get a shirt with like like a muscle shirt and then have Mega Aries on it. Or like a hoodie or like a hoodie or something. I love that. Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Oh my god, that's so funny. Well, on that note, I think it's a great place to end for today.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Informational for sure. Yes, and why didn't you? And I told you your shit was gonna be good and your shit was good a little bit. Do you feel better though? Yes, I do.
SPEAKER_00:It was great. I think both the readings were profound in a lot of different ways.
SPEAKER_03:And I for those who listen to mine, some might be.
SPEAKER_00:The realist over here agrees just in a different type of way.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, we love you. And I wanted the reading too. That's the worst part. I was like, yeah, let's read my cards. I need it.
SPEAKER_00:I don't like it to nigga. I I will say this. We do need to do an actual ritual in your home. And I think what we what we'll do is we'll do a whole thing and then we'll wait a few weeks and then we'll do another reading just to see where you're at. And we can recap on the one that we did today. But I think once we, you know, you're still on a journey. The journey is happening until until it's I'm just behind.
SPEAKER_02:I'm behind Heather. Heather had it Heather had it go first. She deserved it.
SPEAKER_00:You're on your course. Heather's on her course. Good things are happening for everyone around. Yeah, you just you gotta wait for it to really just come to light. And I think I got like two and a half years.
SPEAKER_02:I'm golden. I just gotta make it two and a half years, and then things will be good.
SPEAKER_00:That's a realistic goal. I mean, I think things are good right now, but yeah, I know that living in this area is not where you want to be, and so I think that's part of it.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, but you guys do have to actually move with me because it'll be a problem if you don't. Okay. We will.
SPEAKER_00:And on that note, and on that note, we'll talk to you next week, guys.
SPEAKER_04:Bye.
SPEAKER_02:Bye, besties.