we are NOT the SAME
We Are Not the Same: Join our comedic journey as Bodybuilder Barbie flexes her muscles against Daria’s dry wit! Dive into the hilarity of life’s twists and turns through the eyes of two contrasting besties who prove that different perspectives lead to the best stories. Tune in for laughs, randomness, and a sprinkle of chaos!
we are NOT the SAME
ENCORE: Shelf Titties, Googly Eyes, And Other Cautionary Tales
ENCORE EPISODE RECORDED 1/12/21
Start with a laugh, stay for the honesty. We take a candid tour through the world of boobs—how asymmetry is normal, why fitness often shrinks volume, and what actually happens when you choose implants. From puberty hopes and pregnancy curveballs to post-baby realities, we unpack the expectations that shape how women feel in their skin. Then we get practical about surgery: choosing a qualified surgeon over a bargain, sizing with restraint, understanding incision options, and why warranties and the 10-year mark matter more than most people think.
Our guest, David (@dm.shoots2), is a photographer who’s seen more varieties of breasts than most doctors’ brochures. He breaks down what looks natural on camera, how placement and material affect the final look on lean bodies, and the truth about “cheap” work that leads to shelf lines and rippling. We compare saline deflation to silicone’s slower leaks, debate over-the-muscle vs under-the-muscle, and talk capsular contracture, recovery discipline, and the surprising ways clothing and confidence shift after surgery.
There’s a creator economy angle too. Social platforms push tame versions of boudoir while real demand lives on OnlyFans and Patreon. We talk licensing, exclusivity, and how photographers and models build ethical, profitable systems that respect consent, comfort, and creative control. Through it all, one theme holds: every breast is unique. Even with the same surgeon and implant, bodies tell their own stories. The winning strategy is choosing the look that fits your life—natural slope or full projection, subtle side boob or bold upper pole—and owning it without apology.
Want more candid conversations about body image, cosmetic choices, and confidence you can actually use? Follow, share with a friend, and leave a review to tell us what questions you want answered next.
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Hey, hey, hey, everybody. Welcome back. This is We Are Not The Same. I am Lacey. I am Heather. And today we are here to talk about everybody's favorite subject. Boobies. Boobies. Titties. Tatas. Fun bags. Everything. All of it. I love fun bags. That's still my favorite. I love it. Because it's an accurate depiction of what it is. I mean, yeah. Yeah. You got nice titties.
SPEAKER_02:You used to drive over speed bumps to watch my boobs.
SPEAKER_01:Um, I did that on an occasion. I'm not gonna lie.
SPEAKER_02:Your titties are bouncy.
SPEAKER_01:They bounce. Bouncy titties are great.
SPEAKER_02:I think I have this on Snapchat. You might have to upload this because I'm like, she's literally going over speed bumps right now. It was in a bodysuit. They were very like this. And they just be like, and you got so excited. You get those speed bumps like.
SPEAKER_01:I could have avoided them. We were in a parking lot. We did not. You were straightforward. I was like, boom, boom. I actually sped up to get that bounce.
SPEAKER_02:She has the same kinds of boobies. Um, more like free-flowing than yours.
SPEAKER_01:I don't know whose bounce is more. We'll have to get it.
SPEAKER_02:Well, yours, because you don't wear a bra.
SPEAKER_01:I don't ever. I'm not currently. I love bras. They're like an accessory.
SPEAKER_02:I always do. That seems so uncomfortable. No, because it meant just- I just like them. Like, why not dress them up if you got them?
SPEAKER_01:Dress them up.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I'm dressing them up. Victoria's Secret. Dress. Have you seen the bra that I'm wearing? Do you see that I wear?
SPEAKER_01:I did. This also goes back to the point.
SPEAKER_02:We are not the same.
SPEAKER_01:However, all right. Attractiveness, yes. There. Uncomfortable. However.
SPEAKER_02:They're not uncomfortable. Victoria's Secret does not make uncomfortable bras. I like them. They enhance your outfit.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_02:I like bras.
SPEAKER_01:I don't. I fucking don't. I do. I wear them when um I need to. And by that I mean if I am trying to get laid. And I need to push the fuckers up. I will definitely make an effort. But otherwise, fuck that. Absolutely fucking not. Not my jam. Alright. There are so many types of titties to talk about. So we are gonna literally start from the beginning of titty history. And by that I mean in a girl's life, not like the fucking history of titties, because that would be weird.
SPEAKER_02:I saw the history of the titty post where you know, whatever. Oh, I'm so jealous of her.
SPEAKER_01:My left tit is my party tit, hands down all the time. It's ready to go.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know which one I would choose. My right titty? Because you have the left, and then we'd have like opposing titties.
SPEAKER_01:We would have opposing titties.
SPEAKER_02:I feel like because if we had the same titty sample would be too much. Because then we'd be fighting for the titty side.
SPEAKER_01:Like now you're also right-handed. I'm left-handed. I feel like there's something with that, right? Because you use that arm more. So I feel like that too.
SPEAKER_02:Was that your bigger one before you got them done?
SPEAKER_01:Yes, it was the same. Same here too. Yours was the right or the left? The right was the bigger. See, I think it has something to do with your dominance. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:So, ladies, if you don't want uneven titties, just do one arm and the other. Just become ambidextrous.
SPEAKER_01:That's the solution to your fucking body.
SPEAKER_02:Or you work out the left side more than the right, right?
SPEAKER_01:Is that what you do? It's true. Work out them pecs. Male or female, work out them pecs. No. That's another way.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, we'll talk about the male boob subject later on. But not pecs. But there is a thing. Fucking movies. You know, you can get those removed. I talked a lot to a plastic surgeon that said he removed a lot of men's boobs. Because has anyone ever feel some? I've felt some male boobs before they're shocking. Shocking.
SPEAKER_01:From a female's perspective, not fun. Not fun. Not fun. Not the same. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Not the same as feeling a female tit. Not the fucking same. It's not. It is not. But not everybody, not everybody can control their boobies. Right? So let's talk about way back when, right? Before you even had boobs.
SPEAKER_02:I always had boobs.
SPEAKER_01:When did you get boobs? Have you seen my daughter Kinsley?
SPEAKER_02:She has baby D cups. By the way, she's fucking two. That was me. I'm not kidding. Baby D's. I'm sorry. I mean, very inappropriate, but that's my like that literally is it. I have always been like that. And then I got super into fitness and they went away. And then I was like, put them back.
SPEAKER_01:I waited my whole fucking life for tits. Like Larry's seven years old, and I was like, I can't fucking wait. And we are booby twins. No, no, we're not. Because you know what happened? Puberty fucking hit. And you know what didn't fucking come? And now we are booby twins. Right. We are now because I had to fucking intervene on my own. On my own. Because puberty fucked me over. And I thought, I thought that every woman, when puberty hit, like that was the only good thing about puberty for women, right? Like we get periods and that's fucking awful. And we horror and that's.
SPEAKER_02:Because you had them. Do you remember when you used to tie your shirt up like that?
SPEAKER_01:Like on this, like no, because I didn't have tits. That was not a thing that I did. Um, I was like, I was basically Helga Pataki. And if you don't know who the fuck that is, she's the bitch on Hey Arnold who is mean as well. What happened to you and Hey Arnold? I don't.
SPEAKER_02:And then I also talk about how Alexis busted out with the dance last night. I have a video.
SPEAKER_01:We were downstairs and she just started going at it. And it's the dance from last time, fucking Zoyberg dance. I love it. I need to see it.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I'm gonna show you later and you're gonna die. And I told her the whole story.
SPEAKER_01:I'm excited. That's funny. I was like, you did the fat Albert. You did the fat. Oh my god, we're renaming, not Albert Roger. Yeah, fat Albert is an actual show.
SPEAKER_02:That's why I said it. Fat Roger is what I meant.
SPEAKER_01:We're gonna rename the Zoyberg, the Fat Roger. It's a thing, it's happening.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_01:No, I was not, I was not one of them lucky girls. I thought my whole life. So, like my mom.
SPEAKER_02:You don't have to be lucky. You don't gotta be lucky. You can just buy them.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, not at fucking 13 when you're going to get.
SPEAKER_02:No, but at 18 you can. 16 with a parental consent. Or if you have a shady doctor in Mexico, either way. But usually that's not what you want to go with. That's fucked up. That's what I avoided. When I'm like, I'm gonna get tits. I had so many people being like, I know the stripper, the guy that does all the strippers, and he's cheap. I'm like, who is that? Because you're avoiding. You never want cheap or someone that does the strippers.
SPEAKER_01:No, you get what you pay for.
SPEAKER_02:Should we give like a little plug to Chad Wheeler?
SPEAKER_01:Chad Wheeler.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_01:Fucking hand claps to Chad Wheeler. He is fabulous. He's the best. He is the best. He um made me laugh so hard in my appointments, which is good. He made you comfortable. He also made me double check my size three times to make sure I was good with it. So, like, props to him because it's very easy to go in and be like, I want big ass titties. And he's like, But do you? And then after three appointments, I was like, Yes, I fucking do.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, can I tell you I want bigger ones now? Like, I still think that like you always want to go bigger.
SPEAKER_01:No, so okay, I had that problem too. I had that problem too. But if you went any bigger, you would literally fall the fuck over. I mean, that's like a real thing. Have you seen those? Have you seen those ladies that have the tits that are so big that they like fucking crush watermelons with them? I would they have to- Yeah, I'm not gonna crush fucking watermelons with my tits. I'm saying like maybe just a little bit more. I'm just saying those women are. Can we talk about how I like everything more?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I don't stop. More lips, more hair, more boobs.
SPEAKER_01:A little you're a little extra.
SPEAKER_02:More tan. This is why I'm Gucci. I know.
SPEAKER_01:And you just like I do my best. I got the fake titties. I just got the fake lips-ish.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, she did? You guys, she just got the lips. She got the first syringe. I did get another syringe the other day. I know you're at five.
SPEAKER_01:I'm at one.
SPEAKER_02:But over a year, over a year. But how good do they look? It is now my signature. I want one person to tell me that they do not like looking at it.
SPEAKER_01:No, but you're you look beautiful.
SPEAKER_02:What happens when you give your nurse free rain?
SPEAKER_01:Do what you want? Okay, but that's also the thing, right? So then you start to get any bit of plastic and you're like plastic or something. Did we talk about this before?
SPEAKER_02:We talked about this in the hot tub with your sister, Jennifer. Another shout out. We love you.
SPEAKER_01:Love you, Jennifer.
SPEAKER_02:I don't want to look natural. I like the fake look.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I have to tell you this story because it's the best fucking story ever. So we're all chilling in the hot tub, and she just gotten her eyebrows done, and I've had my eyebrows done. Ariana, awesome, did both of our eyebrows, but we have very different looks, right? So, like yours is like an ombre and mine's like a whatever. And my sister wants very natural because she's she's just a natural beauty, that's what she wants. And she looks at Heather and she's all like, So when you were like making that decision, like, did you ever think about being natural? And Heather's like, fuck no. No, I want to look like I have my makeup on every day. Have you seen like I I like looking like a porn star? That's my look. Oh, I'm porn.
SPEAKER_02:I never said that, but you're like the fourth person. I said, I want I don't care how fake. I'm like, I like the fake. I like the long hair, I like the lips.
SPEAKER_01:No one's mad at it.
SPEAKER_02:No one's mad at it. No one's mad at it. I'm just saying everyone has their own thing. Yeah. I never said porn star, but it is kind of funny. It is kind of funny.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, you got the lips. I'm just saying Is it the lips?
SPEAKER_02:Is that what determines it?
SPEAKER_01:I think so. Is it the big ass? I think they look natural though. They're like natural. No, they're beautiful, but they're not fucking natural. I mean, they're not natural at all. Um, so we I mean, obviously, we've established that we both have fake tits. We'll talk about that more in a bit. Um, pre-baby booby, right? So you go through puberty, you apparently got tits. I fucking didn't, but you got tits. So what was the difference for you between pre-baby booby and then when you got pregnant?
SPEAKER_02:So when you lose weight, your booby were like gone. Yeah, gone. Yeah, that's a thing. Gone. Yeah. Bye-bye. Fucking bye. And like I am just like, that's how it is. So yeah, I just I wanted them back because that's not fair. Mommy makeover, you get to finish that last part of it very soon.
SPEAKER_01:So you had what size were your tits before you got pregnant? They were always a D double D. Before you got you had double D's before you got pregnant? Yes, but then when you work out all the time and you get like 16% body fat and 14% body fat, they just go away. Yeah, I've never been 16% body fat. No. Fucking never.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, we won't talk about how the only time you ever worked out with me was when I'm I You fucking forced me to? With mimosas, and you showed up with a four for four for Wendy's.
SPEAKER_01:Shout out to Wendy's for the four for four. That's such a great deal while I was working out.
SPEAKER_02:In between sex. I fucking hate working. I'm like, if you want water, she's like, no, gross. And she drinks her mimosa.
SPEAKER_01:I'm like, well, this is my third workout today, so it's fine. Yeah, you're fucking crazy. That's insane. No, my my best boob, but your boobies are great now.
SPEAKER_02:I know, but I paid for that. I think we might even have an expert here that can help us out.
SPEAKER_01:My best boob before I had babies was like a small.
SPEAKER_02:I feel like when you were pregnant, they were probably the best.
SPEAKER_01:When I was no, you know what? So my sister, she got pregnant. She had the she had like fucking basketball tits, and she's a tiny little. Sorry, Jennifer. No, she ain't mad. She's gonna be fine. She had these beautiful giant basketball titties. So I had an assumption that when I got pregnant, I was gonna have these beautiful giant basketball titties because that's what my fucking sister had. No, you know what I got? I got fucking lopsided one titty bigger than the other titty, and it was not a big thing.
SPEAKER_02:That's exactly what happens to a lot of women. Our doctor did say they are not twins, they are not sisters, but he can get them in the same family. Yours were fucking cousins, yours were barely fucking religious.
SPEAKER_01:It was one was definitely a half cup size bigger than the other. I think everyone has one tit that's bigger, though. Everyone, everybody does. So then you have to make a decision, right? If you decide you're gonna get fake titties, oh, like do you make them even? If you make them even.
SPEAKER_02:That's the weirdest thing I've ever fucking heard. Really? Obviously, somebody's been drinking too much champagne.
SPEAKER_01:I think we need to invite our guests. Always drinking, always drinking. Always. No, this is a fair question. The reason why I ask is because if you have one that's slightly, slightly, like I'm not stalking us back in half.
SPEAKER_02:You guys let us know if you're gonna go and get a boob job. I'm just saying, grab me one of those on your own. You still have the illusion. Yes, okay. We're we're we want the people to weigh in on the fact that, like, let me know if you're still gonna have one cup size smaller than the other.
SPEAKER_01:I'm not saying have all fucking cups. We need to, we need to introduce our guests today. Okay, hold on. Let me finish my thought and then we'll get there. I am saying that you still have the illusion that they might potentially be natural because natural tits have one bigger than the other. If you're flat, fucking even.
SPEAKER_02:This goes right back to the fact he goes, Do you want the natural tear shape or the fucking circle? I'm like, I want all the fucking side boob. Give me all the fucking side boob. I want it to look unnatural as fuck. Like, I'm sorry, but I want the side boob. Okay. Side boob is a thing for me, and side boob is not natural.
SPEAKER_01:I wanted to look natural as hell. No, I want to-like I want them big titties, but I want them to look natural.
SPEAKER_02:Alabaster Casper. Why not as fuck she's trying to do? Calabaster. I wasn't a hole. Sometimes she's Casper. All right, we do need to introduce our guest.
SPEAKER_01:We do. We have a guest today. Hello. His name is David. Hello, David.
SPEAKER_00:How's it going, everybody? Hi.
SPEAKER_02:Let's throw your Instagram handle out real quick. Yeah, throw that out. Where can they find you at?
SPEAKER_00:Well, Instagram hates me, so it's true.
SPEAKER_02:You're on your next one.
SPEAKER_00:My third account currently. Uh it's dm.shoots. And then the number two, because fuck me, right?
SPEAKER_01:You keep getting reported, and you get reported because you primarily photos of titties.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:But it's haters. It's actually like people. It's actually like women. Women that he because he's very selective who he works with.
SPEAKER_00:So here's the I am kind of picky.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, you you're a photographer, you should be picky. You should well here. He's so good at what he does. He's picky.
SPEAKER_00:It's kind of true.
SPEAKER_02:He's also not a creep. Can we talk about that for a second?
SPEAKER_00:Also kind of important.
SPEAKER_02:Right? He's not a creep. Thumbs up. No, but it's actually true. Like, why we started the rounds.
SPEAKER_00:You can't be weird.
SPEAKER_02:Exactly. No. And like you make them feel so comfortable and like I've known you for years.
SPEAKER_01:You're great. But that also means that you've probably seen more. I mean, I'm a woman and you've probably seen more titties than I have. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Bet money on it.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah. Do you think that you see um more real or fake titties?
SPEAKER_00:Ooh, so it's kind of weird. Industry is weird. So when you first kind of start out and you're just working with newer people, as you get more into models that have been doing it for a long time, we have lots of followers, stuff like that. Yep. You start to get way more plastic. Just in general, across the board. I mean fillers, boobs. I mean, like it's a bad thing. It's not a bad thing. You have a problem.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, call her out.
SPEAKER_00:No, no, it's not that bad.
SPEAKER_02:I was like, I had a bad day, so I got more lips. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But really, like a lot of girls when they get into modeling, like, lots of girls don't have money for boobs. Boobs, good boobs are expensive.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, if you want the good boobs. You get what you pay for. I know women that have like boobs, and I'm like, how much do you pay for them? They're like$2,500, like all proud. And I'm like, are$7,500. We all knew that. Like, I asked that for a reason not that you thought. Like, that wasn't to praise you on the price you paid. That was to be like, oh.
SPEAKER_00:I want to know where not to go.
SPEAKER_02:That's yeah, no.
SPEAKER_01:If they tell you they work on strippers, don't go there. So there's a place.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That's a big package.
SPEAKER_00:That's a big package.
SPEAKER_02:I've heard of people that do them without even going under anesthesia. I've heard about that too.
SPEAKER_00:That sounds good.
SPEAKER_02:I've heard of people like plastic surgery or like liposuction going into like a strip mall. Nope. I'm like wide awake.
SPEAKER_00:No, anything semi-permanent or something. You want to go for quality. You don't want the cheapest you can get.
SPEAKER_02:You want the goods to shit.
SPEAKER_00:Asking for bad shit tattoos.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, that's another topic. We won't talk about that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I got a shit on the shitty tattoos, but that's another day. And I like only get good tattoos, but you know they do know.
SPEAKER_00:Most girls who are newer, especially because I work with a lot of girls who are like gym fitness type themed.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And well, I mean, if you're gonna be a model, you need to like, I mean, you gotta work out.
SPEAKER_00:You gotta have some sort of shit.
SPEAKER_01:Preferably not round.
SPEAKER_00:But just like Heather said, once you start working out, the boobs go away.
SPEAKER_01:First thing you have to do.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they volunteer their tribute.
SPEAKER_01:That's facts.
SPEAKER_00:Which means that you are either buying boobs or you don't have boobs. Right. It's there's not really a lot of.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, look at dancers. Dancers are the people in the world. I'm beautiful, graceful. No titties. No titties.
SPEAKER_00:None.
SPEAKER_01:None.
SPEAKER_00:You've never seen a ballerina with tits.
SPEAKER_02:No. No, because your body fat's gone. It sucks your body. You can't have you can't maintain a body fat percentage that low and still have fat stores. Right. They're gone. Right.
SPEAKER_01:And that, I mean, at the end of the day, unless they're plastic or plastic.
SPEAKER_02:Surgeons. Can we just say that? Yeah. I love them. They're great.
SPEAKER_01:So when you get plastic surgery, you got choices that you gotta make, right?
SPEAKER_02:So you have to I actually want to ask David some questions.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, hold on.
SPEAKER_02:No, I have some questions.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, hold on. I'm like literally talking. Um, so when you go in and you decide to get boobs, you get over the muscle boobs, you get under the muscle boobs.
SPEAKER_02:We're different. This is where we differ.
SPEAKER_01:Right. We have and and as a mayor, I can feel your bag.
SPEAKER_02:Yep, I can feel yep, I can feel your bag. You can't feel mine.
SPEAKER_00:Not only can you feel the difference, you can literally see the difference, especially depending on the type of implant.
SPEAKER_02:And the angle you're at, I feel like I can you can tell where like if you're there's certain angles where you can definitely see where the he knows what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_00:So those that are really lean or like fairly slim, if they go over, you can literally see ripples under the boob and on the sides of the boob.
SPEAKER_01:But doesn't that take okay you can see ripples in the bag, but doesn't it matter whether you get saline versus silicone versus what is it? The gumdrop is the new one? The gummy bear is the new one.
SPEAKER_02:That's a Brandy Gallagher. Those are great. She has those. Those are great.
SPEAKER_00:I'm a fan.
SPEAKER_02:Those are a fan of the gumdrop. Can I say hers are like the best things that I've ever seen in my entire life? Shout out to Brandy.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:No, those are the best.
SPEAKER_01:So there was like a whole, what, two decades where people were scared to get anything but um saline because there were all these fucking reports like trying to say that, you know, press implants are dangerous. And then like they did all these studies and they're like, it's the fucking same, regardless of what kind you get. But then with the saline, you can pop that shit, and that's scary as fuck.
SPEAKER_00:Ken and I have.
SPEAKER_01:You popped one?
SPEAKER_00:That's not a good time.
SPEAKER_01:How did you pop a how did you pop a tissue?
SPEAKER_00:So there were some extracurricular activities going on.
SPEAKER_01:Dirty dirties.
SPEAKER_00:It wasn't even that crazy. Um literally, she just pushed her chest too hard into a bed. Into a bed? Into a bed, and it popped, ruptured, whatever you want to call it.
SPEAKER_02:Chad definitely told us about it.
SPEAKER_00:And it went 100% flat. It looked like somebody stuck a pin in a balloon.
SPEAKER_01:See, that's scary for me because I fall down the stairs a lot. But you don't have to leave.
SPEAKER_00:Like frequently. Like frequently.
SPEAKER_01:She might be in bubble wrap, but literally. Literally multiple times a week. And so when I made a decision, I went silicone. Um, she went before me, so I also have something to gauge it on. So that was awesome. I'm like, yeah, you fucking do it first, and then I'll decide.
SPEAKER_00:Let's see what this looks like.
SPEAKER_01:Let's see what happens to you. Um, but like, even I run down the stairs. Or I run up the stairs and I'm so scared about popping a tit. Even though I don't have saline, I fucking hold them, bitches. Like I hold them in place when I run in any area because I'm scared of popping a tit, even though my risk is so much lower than somebody that has saline.
SPEAKER_00:I don't think running would do it. No, if you want to run into something like that down the stairs.
SPEAKER_01:If you're running down the stairs, then you risk fucking falling.
SPEAKER_00:You're just planning on falling.
SPEAKER_01:Okay. Did you not hear about the time I fucking tried to run up the stairs with a plate of well, not even a plate of flooding? Oh my god, she burned your face. And I tripped and I burnt my fucking face with a pan because I didn't want to get another dish dirty.
SPEAKER_00:That's a very impressive injury.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you. So literally, it's a genuine concern for me running up or down the stairs that I'm gonna fall into.
SPEAKER_02:You have saline, you don't have saline. So the difference between the silicone and the saline is silicone is like a fix-a-flat, right? So it's a slow leak. You don't have that instant one boob is now not working.
SPEAKER_01:You though, you have what what do they call it? Capsule contraction.
SPEAKER_02:I did because I worked out too soon. I did. And he had to redo them. And I said, So then can I get bigger ones? And he said no. He said, if you want one bigger, I'll make one bigger than the other. And I said, never mind.
SPEAKER_00:It's good that boobs are not like lip injections because you would have bigger tits every week. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I would probably do it. She would. She would.
SPEAKER_01:If she could have like a side pump where she could just add more, squish a little more in it. That would happen. But look, I mean, I just feel like maybe it would be better. You know what's super funny? So, right before I went in to get my boobs, I was I was debating it for a long time. I've wanted boobs since I was 16 because I didn't fucking get them at puberty.
SPEAKER_02:I convinced you. I convinced you. Look at my lips. Look who has lips now. I know. God damn it. She's a bad influence. She's a bad influence. Lips, hair, boobs.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like it's not a bad thing. Um, I can't do the hair. That's too much. It's too much of a commitment.
SPEAKER_00:You think I need a therapist and not all the other things.
SPEAKER_01:No, it works on you. It works on you. Um, no, right before.
SPEAKER_02:I definitely think there's a balance here.
SPEAKER_00:No, you do. I'm saying all of the above.
SPEAKER_02:He did give me advice one time. He said, you know, they start to look like duck lips.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I tried to tell you, like, if you go instead where you're sucking dick and they start to look like duck lips, I'm like, ooh, I don't want that. It looks like you don't suck dick, though.
SPEAKER_00:Like miniature inner tubes.
SPEAKER_02:Two miniature. Oh, yeah. That doesn't look good.
SPEAKER_00:If you're floating the river.
SPEAKER_01:We're here to talk about titties.
SPEAKER_02:Not lips. I can see that. We can go on all rabbit holes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:No, like right before I went.
SPEAKER_00:So how long have you had yours done?
SPEAKER_01:They turned five in May.
SPEAKER_00:Congratulations.
SPEAKER_01:Mine were five in March.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, okay. So really close together.
SPEAKER_01:Super close together. Yeah. I took care of her after her surgery. She took care of me after mine. And it's very like a friend-friend thing. I wanted to throw them a birthday party, but the fucking COVID. I feel like it's appropriate to throw your tits a birthday party. Why are you the fuck?
SPEAKER_00:That's essential, right? Right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I feel like everybody would very much enjoy going. Like, if you got an invitation for a fucking titty party, tell me you would not be excited, right? Right. Because like you'd like to get it. The left one. I'll let the right one. The right one for her.
SPEAKER_00:What do you bring to a titty birthday? Um by a bra, or is that really?
SPEAKER_01:I think tassels is the most appreciative. I think you just bring alcohol. I think you just bring alcohol.
SPEAKER_00:You just bring alcohol. Alcohol. Thank you for the invitation. Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Here's alcohol.
SPEAKER_02:Because she's already gonna be topless.
SPEAKER_01:You're all no. No. You would be topless. I would not be. However, I feel like motorboating would be a requirement. Like at as my own titty party, I would be allowed to motorboat everybody that came to the party. She loves to motorboat people. Fucking everything. She loves motorboat. She loves it.
SPEAKER_02:She motorboats me like no one's business.
SPEAKER_01:I used to make bets with men at the bar. I'd be like, pick any fucking bitch in here, and I bet you$10 that I can motorboat her before you.
SPEAKER_00:That's not it. That's not even a competition. I won every time. I won every time.
SPEAKER_01:I love it. I don't know why it's so fun.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, I mean, because she runs up to them and just does it.
SPEAKER_01:No, I always ask. I'm not sure. No, you don't. You never ask me. You just do it.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you're my husband, I guess, now. You're my husband.
SPEAKER_00:You're a study molester.
SPEAKER_01:No, I have always asked permission except from my wife. That's very different.
SPEAKER_00:That's fair. That's that's like a free pass all the time.
SPEAKER_02:I've earned that. We've been thought we were a couple so much that we just own it now.
SPEAKER_01:It's easier. It's easier than try to explain to people the real sorry.
SPEAKER_02:In public, especially. But we only like dick, so that's the weird part. Right, right. Back to the titties.
SPEAKER_01:So, okay, so right before I got my boobs done, and I was all excited about it. I finally made the decision. I made the appointment, and my lovely sister Jennifer, whom we love so much on this show, sends me a link to the ugliest tits I've ever seen in my whole fucking life. Oh my god, but we didn't go to any bad places. Right before my surgery. No, no, no. It wasn't even like bad surgery jobs. It was just, I never in my life, and I'm a dick for this and I'm fully aware of it. I did not realize that women had ugly titties. Like, because mine in my opinion are very nice titties. Even before. Had you not seen mine after like I got a little skinny and tiny? They weren't awful. Compared to this fucking photo slideshow that this bitch sent me.
SPEAKER_02:No, she sent them to me. It was awful. Don't go to Mexico. Don't go where the strippers go.
SPEAKER_01:There were like fucking. I didn't know that like rocket tits were a real thing.
SPEAKER_02:I didn't know that people could have invert to your fucking. Have you seen the one where it goes like way up the shoulder? Have you seen that?
SPEAKER_00:It was like I've seen them get pushed over like by people's armpits and stuff.
SPEAKER_02:Where they go out and call natural contracture, which I got from working out. That's what you had. She had to get a new tit. I did.
SPEAKER_00:But that's like self-inflicted, right?
SPEAKER_02:Well, but I don't know. You know what's the funniest part? See, when you buy good ones, they come with warranty policies. Oh, nice. If they don't come with a warranty, don't buy it.
SPEAKER_01:No, it's automatically comes. You get 10 years.
SPEAKER_02:Chad's like, 10 years, come get new ones.
SPEAKER_01:You're gonna need them.
SPEAKER_02:Sweet.
SPEAKER_01:The funniest part is he had never in his whole career had a single person get capsule contrapture before Heather because she had to be a stubborn asshole and work out.
SPEAKER_02:Do you remember Vicky? Do you remember Vicki? I do remember Vicky. I felt like I was doing the same thing. But I think her doctor got like busted for being like giving himself advanced.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly what I think. Like this, this, and all at one time. All of it at once.
SPEAKER_02:And liposuction all at the same time.
SPEAKER_00:God damn. Tummy tuck, lipo, boobs, everything at one time.
SPEAKER_01:That's intense. That's intense.
SPEAKER_00:That sounds really dramatic.
SPEAKER_01:Like boobs alone. Mine was not, my recovery was not nearly as bad as yours because mine was over the.
SPEAKER_02:I had T-Rex arms like this. I couldn't even wash my hair.
SPEAKER_01:I was like, I show up at your house and you're like, I can't do anything. And then me, I was at the bar like less than a week later.
SPEAKER_02:That's the difference between over the muscle and under the muscle because when you cut your muscle, it's like you can't do it. It hurts.
SPEAKER_01:I did the whole thing. I only had 40 oxies the whole time because my roommate stole my prescription. I they gave me 80, right? And my fucking-going off on a tangent right now. And I had a chance to do it. She was like, I don't need any.
SPEAKER_02:And I'm just saying. I was gonna go. I just went through this.
SPEAKER_00:You're going to die, actually.
SPEAKER_01:I yeah, my fucking nanny slash roommate stole my 80 oxies that they prescribed.
SPEAKER_02:Can we talk about how we're not the same right now?
SPEAKER_01:The day before my surgery. And I'm like, it's my nanny stole my oxy. Can we talk about this?
SPEAKER_00:And that we're life.
SPEAKER_02:That's neither here nor there. There's an episode called Icebergs. We'll navigate that event. Okay, so tell us what it feels like.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. So you can literally, with any type of implant, butt implants, which I think are gigantic waste of money.
SPEAKER_02:Fat injections now.
SPEAKER_01:There's no, but no, they're a thing. You just won't do it because you have brains.
SPEAKER_00:Well, okay, there's implants.
SPEAKER_01:And I've researched this, and implants are not the thing to go.
SPEAKER_00:You can hardly tell the difference. An implant is like going over the muscle on your boob.
SPEAKER_02:Most doctors won't do that.
SPEAKER_00:Anyway.
SPEAKER_01:No, over the muscle on your boob is not bad. You're talking about it like a shit.
SPEAKER_00:And like it's not shit, but you can literally feel the difference.
SPEAKER_01:So like I feel like you need to feel my tit right now.
SPEAKER_00:You need to feel both of ours right now, and you can feel.
SPEAKER_01:Feel my tit right now. Right now. Grab your boob. Yes, feel it. And then no, but look, but look, and feel. And you can't feel.
SPEAKER_00:So you can feel the edge of the muscle.
SPEAKER_02:So feel mine, you can't feel my head. You can't. I don't have any fucking muscles. The edge of the subpetition. And then feel. You can't. And then you can't feel mine.
SPEAKER_03:We're on video and you just pulled your whole tit out.
SPEAKER_02:You can't feel.
SPEAKER_00:No, it goes under. Yes. Yeah, it goes under.
SPEAKER_02:But you have yours is hard and mine is soft. Yes, it is. Mine is soft too. Mine feels good. Okay, she thinks hers are so much, that's fine. It doesn't feel bad either. I'm not saying one is better than the other.
SPEAKER_01:There's a difference because I can't feel the bag. So maybe it's personal preference because when I feel your tit, to me it's hard.
SPEAKER_02:My tit's hard?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. To me. I don't think that's a thing. I think they're just because I'm wearing a bra and you can't be able to get it. It's because I can feel the muscle. But you can feel my bag. So it's it's preference, right? So you can't feel your bag, but to me it's harder because I can feel like I don't feel a bag on me at all, but y'all say you do, so that's you can.
SPEAKER_02:You can. I 100%.
SPEAKER_00:It's entirely a personal preference. It is, it is personal. Yours look amazing. Honest truth. They both look great. I'm not down in either one of them. Most dudes see a big boob and they're like, They don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_02:No one cares. No one's actually this is this is the expert. No one actually cares. No one cares. And no one notices.
SPEAKER_00:It's personal preference. 100%.
SPEAKER_02:The nicest part is I guarantee regardless of what type you do, if you do gum drums. That's the point. Give us a guy that has never felt any sort of fake boobs before. He's not gonna know if yours is over and mine is under. Right. Saline versus silicone. He's like, I got nice tits. Thanks. Right. David has just experienced all of them. This is why we invited him here. We know because we have the differences.
SPEAKER_01:The nicest to feel you, you're around them all the time. So you've seen the differences. Right. But to your point, Heather, if if you don't know, you don't know.
unknown:You don't know.
SPEAKER_01:You know when you do know when you got the fucking shelf titty. And you have the shelf titty when you paid$2,000 for your fucking impact.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, run away if it does not cost at least seven grand. Like I just want to say, run the fuck away.
SPEAKER_00:Run away.
SPEAKER_01:Shelf titty is not cute. Oh my god, I've seen it.
SPEAKER_00:More important question. Yeah. Something that I have a personal preference on. Armpit, nipple, or under nipple.
SPEAKER_02:Under. You can't even see mine. You can not even see mine. You cannot even see any sort of dinner.
SPEAKER_00:Once they drop, it covers the underboob scar. There's no scarf. Through the nipple, you have to be a goddamn magician as a surgeon. You see it the entire way. Crazy stuff happens.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, but you have to think about it. They take your nipple off and put it in ice.
SPEAKER_00:Literally, like cut it out, like a piece of pepperoni.
SPEAKER_01:Most of the people that do that though are also getting a lift. And there's not a way to get a lift.
SPEAKER_02:No, but if you do a lift, then you also have the line all the way down. You do. But here's the thing. Chad Wheeler, I was like, he's like, you could, you know, you could use a lift, but I think you're gonna be happy enough with the implant. And then you had a baby. Yes, but that's another topic, okay? We can't bring up my dead husband because he's the one that's like.
SPEAKER_01:I'm talking about how you now have to have a new booby surgery.
SPEAKER_02:I was never going to.
SPEAKER_01:Are you not going to? I thought you were going to be able to do that.
SPEAKER_02:Well, no, now I'm going to, but I was never going to have another baby, which is why I told Chad I was never going to do that. So he made them perfect. They just have to be bigger.
unknown:No.
SPEAKER_02:There we go. Okay. Sure. I would never get a lift. They just flag.
SPEAKER_00:You could do it for like the 10-year mark.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, exactly. And just go a little bit. Because after 10 years, technically you should do it right.
SPEAKER_01:Right. You don't have to. Technically, you don't have to, but if you want to keep a warranty, it's definitely recommended. We're gonna talk about like how I'm getting the wrap mobile.
SPEAKER_00:New tits. You have to swap a little bit.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you're supposed to every 10 years.
SPEAKER_00:That's what I'm told.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, like, yes, it's like medically like good for you. Recommended, right, right. I mean, you're you're literally putting a foreign fucking object in your body.
SPEAKER_00:So I mean So here's a fake boob issue that does not get as much attention as it probably should. Some people cannot have implants, like their body rejects the implants and they get all sorts of crazy problems.
SPEAKER_02:I do have factor five, so which is also another reason why I got capsule contractors. So I clot more than normal. Yep. So I'm on blood thinners. So even if one molecule of blood gets on that pocket that they put it in, your body rejects it and starts walling it off. So he noticed immediately. But say I never went and I would have never noticed. See, one dropped and the other didn't. And I got him, I got the one replaced. So he's like, it could have been like, you know, you're on blood thinners because you're factor five, or you worked out. I don't know what happened.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't do that.
SPEAKER_02:Or probably the fucking combo.
SPEAKER_01:Or I mean he told you not to do shit for six weeks, and you're like two weeks in, you're like, No, but I didn't do any upper body, it was all like walking and like I don't know.
SPEAKER_02:I don't know what sweating and like just there's many factors printing. I don't know what happened. But this time around I'm gonna rest. It's fine.
SPEAKER_01:So can I ask you something, um, Heather, with your titties? Um, after you got them done, do you feel like you became less modest as a person because you had them, or do you feel like they were for you?
SPEAKER_02:100% for me. Um, and I don't know. I do feel like I'm more like, oh here. You're more willing. Yeah, because well, but I'm I've always buying different clothing. Okay, you want to know what's messed up is my wardrobe because I was so tiny before. Then once I got boobs, then it didn't fit. It fits like so different. I had to go up a whole size thing to fit you. Didn't it be? No, that's fair. Okay, that's why you see me with like my shirts all tied up all the time, is because stuff that fits my boobs don't does not fit the rest of me.
SPEAKER_01:No, that's fair. I definitely feel like ironically, I became more modest after I got my boobs done because I was like, no, those are mine. You can't have them. But it was not with me, you didn't. You're like, well, no, I'll show you all the time. I mean, unless it's your fucking birthday. And then yeah, you can see my tits at your birthday.
SPEAKER_02:She's modest and then she's motorboating every single female in the fucking bar. I'm so modest. Let me see those titties.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god, I'm motorboating. Oh, that nickname. Oh, that's his name. You weren't here for our last episode. We'll tell you about it. His name is not even Roger, but that's not um, but he very much he required, he fucking required my tits to be out. So like I had to buy all these fucking clothes. I made sure my boobs were out all the time. And then as soon as we broke up, I was like, Hide them fucking tits.
SPEAKER_02:Do you want to see what's so weird? Like, I got my boobs on when me and Luke, we went through a little divorce, right? Yeah, yeah. He had never seen him.
unknown:A little divorce.
SPEAKER_02:A little divorce.
SPEAKER_00:That's fine. That's a little like divorce light. They got back together.
SPEAKER_02:It's fine. He remembers that we were friends then.
SPEAKER_00:The white claw of divorces. Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Anyways, that's a chance. She was there for that too. You guys were both there for that. But, anyways, it's yeah, that happened. Anyways, got back together. He was like, shirts up to here. I'm like, oh yeah, he did not like that.
SPEAKER_01:You had to know he was not in the fan.
SPEAKER_00:Can I make a controversial statement? Yes. All right. If a dude pays for your boobs, he gets a ton of input. If a dude does not pay for your modern, he shouldn't say shit about what you wear.
SPEAKER_01:I think that's fair. I paid a hundred. Okay. Can we talk about how I paid for my boobs? I went to my bank and I lied.
SPEAKER_02:Can I say how a deviated septum does not sound better? It sounds like you're a coke horror. Like it sounds like you're on Coke instead of you just want boobs. I would have like my bank. I want my boobies.
SPEAKER_01:I had a deviated septum and I was getting surgery on my nose. And then it hurt my nose. And then the lady started asking me questions, and thank God I've watched plastic surgery shows my whole life because I was talking about the noise it was gonna make when it fucking popped my nose on the city.
SPEAKER_02:Can we talk about how a septum and boobs like are not like I would not go there? I'd be like, I want some tits. It doesn't matter. Your credit score gets you your money. It's not what you want to do.
SPEAKER_01:I'm such a like shy person, which people who know me don't believe me at fucking all. But if you're a stranger, then I'm shy as hell. Like I get nervous and scared and anxiety. This is why we're friends. I'm trying to talk to this fucking stranger, and I can't just I can't go up to a stranger and be like, I need tits. Like, no, I was all like a deviated subject.
SPEAKER_02:You asked Facebook, whoever has a crush on me, send me$100, and I was with you, and guy started sending you$100. Okay, only one.
SPEAKER_01:Only one. But I will also say that that same gentleman, thank you. You know who you are. I'm not gonna say you by name, but he's also buying us the fucking googly eyes to put on our tits to close out this episode.
SPEAKER_02:She thinks that I'm gonna put those giant ass googly eyes on my tits and jump up and down. That's what she said. She shows up and she goes, guess what I got us?
unknown:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02:They'll be here too. Because he only is on Instagram and we're like on it on Facebook. We're fine. Now you're on Instagram. We're finally on Instagram. We are.
SPEAKER_00:Everything hates me, but Facebook really hates me.
SPEAKER_02:You just have to keep following David and you'll always find him. It's fine. There'll be another and another.
SPEAKER_00:You have to keep finding me.
SPEAKER_02:He reaches 10k faster than anyone else. I'm telling you he's worth following because actually, if you like any sort of artistic, I mean he's artistic. You take the best photos of naked women in the most tasteful way. Like, I don't even know.
SPEAKER_01:Some of them are very tasteful. Some of them have tacos over vaginas.
SPEAKER_02:I mean, still tasteful. Still tasteful. The two best things in the world.
SPEAKER_01:Still tasteful. I mean, still tasteful. It's literally a taco over a taco. I want to eat that taco that's a taco. It makes me want to eat the taco. I don't want to eat a taco. You ate my taco that one time, but it was my actual taco. It was a real taco. Don't let me fucking fool you, bitch. I have a photo of it.
SPEAKER_02:It was a taco. Oh my Christ. I was like, why did you post a photo of us eating the same fucking taco? You're eating my taco.
SPEAKER_01:You posted it because it was when I got accepted into grad school, you asshole. Maybe that happened.
SPEAKER_00:Maybe that happened. Taco holders that you get tacos in that hold them upright. Yes. Oh, Jesus Christ. Those are huge.
SPEAKER_01:We're gonna do that. She bought those for us. I didn't know. The gentleman's hasty sex. The gentleman bought them for us.
SPEAKER_00:Do jumping jacks this weekend.
SPEAKER_01:We're going to, we're gonna do a video of us doing jumping jacks with Googly Eyes, and that will close out.
SPEAKER_00:Are the ones you have that big?
SPEAKER_01:I don't know yet. We didn't order them. So they come on Tuesday. They're coming to my house. I have no idea what they're doing. They're supposed to be that big.
SPEAKER_00:They're coming to my house.
SPEAKER_01:They're coming to my house. I'm so excited about it.
SPEAKER_00:Checking the tracking every day.
SPEAKER_01:We are doing this We are not the same. If you have not gone to our Facebook page, go follow us. We are not the same. The googly-eyed titties. The googly boobilies.
SPEAKER_02:We're gonna put it on Instagram too. We're gonna upload all the stuff.
SPEAKER_01:We are not the same podcast because we are not the same was taken.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, I'm gonna upload that right now. And then we also have our what yeah, because we did this just now.
SPEAKER_01:Literally right before this episode.
SPEAKER_00:Kind of suck at Instagram, but it's okay.
SPEAKER_02:No, not on any no, I I don't. Not really. This is just new.
SPEAKER_00:Just just the new account.
SPEAKER_01:So let me ask you from a guy's perspective, right? Yep. How much does like my super drink? Do you need another drink?
SPEAKER_00:No, I'm not drinking.
SPEAKER_02:Can I say that white claws are for everybody? And don't judge they're fucking not. I want to say something. The other night at the Airbnb, we had some girls that I would never have ever hung out with in my life, like the downtown girls, say, Oh, you look like the white claw bitches. I'm like, is that supposed to be an incident? Because I mean, like, I I'm glad I belong to that club. Can I tell you, you look like you do you drink oldie?
SPEAKER_01:I mean, I wouldn't drink either of them.
SPEAKER_00:You know what club you don't want to be part of? Like the Four Loco Club.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, is that even a thing?
SPEAKER_02:I forgot about that. Oh, they drink Four Locos. I didn't even think they made those anymore.
SPEAKER_00:But it's like a very pussyfied version.
SPEAKER_01:It's a yes, because they're no longer allowed. They can't have alcohol and the same drink anymore. Do you remember Sparks being dangerous?
SPEAKER_02:Yes. That's dating me. Sparks. Sparks are popular. That was my drink when I was like in 10th grade. No one wants that.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I have a question for you. How much do you as a man care about the sexiness level of a woman's bra?
SPEAKER_00:I couldn't give a fuck if girls ever wore bras.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I don't ever wear bras, but that's neither here nor there. That's just because I'm not a big one.
SPEAKER_00:I'm not like a lingerie guy in general, though.
SPEAKER_01:He's like, I'm a naked guy.
SPEAKER_00:I'm a naked guy. I'll be like, that's cute. I want what's underneath it, so it's just like an obstacle.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, no, that's fair.
SPEAKER_00:That's cool, but that's for you. Okay. Like, I know you bought that because you like how you look.
SPEAKER_01:So the lingerie that I like is easy access. I call it my sex lingerie. It literally unhooks so you can still wear it and still like it. Yeah, the ass is. She's like unhooks and stuff for me.
SPEAKER_02:I'm like, what the fuck is this? And she's like, We're not the same. Mine's made for sex. Like, no, it doesn't matter. Which is funny.
SPEAKER_01:Literally, I basically never have any, but I'm prepared if it ever. I had to take mine all the way off.
SPEAKER_02:And I'm like, Victoria's Secret has this whole section for like easy access on the hook it in the back.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, they don't call it that, but that's exactly what it is.
SPEAKER_00:If they really wanted to help out special dudes, they would just make them Velcro or some shit.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, it's super easy. It's literally like boom three seconds. Yank.
SPEAKER_02:It's like so easy. Yeah, it's just a hook. That's it. It's not even a snap. You just pull it hard enough.
SPEAKER_01:So, so with that in mind, does that make a difference to your opinion?
SPEAKER_00:No, it's just like a visual thing.
SPEAKER_01:You would rather see a naked woman than like.
SPEAKER_00:I would rather see or just bottoms. Bottoms are way.
SPEAKER_01:Because you're a tick guy.
SPEAKER_00:I'm a buck guy.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, you're then why would you rather see bottoms?
SPEAKER_00:Because he that accentuates the ass. That's like the oh, there's something exciting under there. Boobs are like they're boobs.
SPEAKER_02:They're boobs.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but boobs are less sexual to me.
SPEAKER_02:That's weird. No, it's not.
SPEAKER_00:Because they have so many different functions.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, that's fair. That's a fair comment.
SPEAKER_00:Like, I just feel like if you see a girl who's topless, like, oh, like she's just living her life. If you see a girl who's bottomless, that's a choice.
SPEAKER_01:That's a fun choice.
SPEAKER_00:That's a good one. She's like looking for something at that point.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you don't just walk around.
SPEAKER_00:You don't walk around bottomless. But girls all the time, topless. Like, especially at home. It's a thing.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I mean, it depends if you have to do it. I only do. Yes, yes, yes, do. It is different when you have kids.
SPEAKER_01:It's definitely different when you have kids. My kids, like, okay. I wear a robe. I wear I work from home. I do wear a bathrobe. I don't get ready.
SPEAKER_02:I wear clothes when I get ready, so I just do this if I have to run anywhere.
SPEAKER_01:Otherwise, I'm just like See, you do the stair hole. Because like, why would you be weird when I run down the stairs? It's the stair hole. You hold your tits.
SPEAKER_02:Can we talk about how I didn't realize my neighbors could see me coming down the stairs forever?
SPEAKER_00:As of today, you can't use another body part to cover naked. What?
SPEAKER_02:That doesn't make any sense.
SPEAKER_00:They will remove it.
SPEAKER_02:So where can we find you on other places then since they want to remove you all the time?
SPEAKER_00:And I don't even know. Twitter, I guess. I don't know where else.
SPEAKER_01:You have a fucking Twitter? I feel like that would be more censored.
SPEAKER_00:Quick, act like we're old.
SPEAKER_01:No, I just feel like that would be more. I don't have a Twitter. So Twitter's not censored. It's not. Okay. See, I feel like that would be more censored than Instagram, but apparently.
SPEAKER_00:You can literally post porn on Instagram.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, apparently I need a fucking head to Twitter, is what I'm learning right now.
SPEAKER_00:Twitter, OnlyFans, obviously. I mean, obviously. Those things are uncensored. FYI, the Googly Instagram. Instagram changes like everything.
SPEAKER_02:The Googly Boob post is up on Instagram now. So everyone can see what I'm saying. Say that ten times twice. Yeah, no, like 10 things.
SPEAKER_01:Googly boobs is definitely not the easiest thing to say.
SPEAKER_02:The googly eye boobs.
SPEAKER_01:The googly boobies.
SPEAKER_02:The googly boobies.
SPEAKER_01:Do you have your own OnlyFans where you post photos of the women that you take, or do you just help support other women who have their own OnlyFans by taking their photos?
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Yes to both.
SPEAKER_01:Do you have permission then to like so you get to make money off these bitches twice? Don't say it like that. I don't mean that in an I'm sorry. I don't mean that in an offensive way.
SPEAKER_02:Can I just say that that's actually how you are? Like that's how the world works now. Like that's his content.
SPEAKER_01:I'm not saying anything bad about that at all.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no, that's how it is. And I can I just say the first day I met you, I was like, you're gonna be like something big one day. Like it's been years, it's been like six or seven years. And I'm like, I get you, like we have the same kind of brain, like you're gonna do big things, and you found your like niche. Yes, and it's like you do it better than anyone else. It's tasteful, it's like you make women feel comfortable. What me and Jill try to do for like Rebel like collective, maybe people that are more reserved. We know it to that market, but there's a spectrum you're sought after and you do it better than anyone else, and you're not a creep. Can I just say that's like the number one thing? Because when you think of male photographers, yeah, you know, like they're like, hey, come here, girl.
SPEAKER_01:All so many stories. Okay, so one of my best stories. What you have to do is open Facebook and you'll find the stories.
SPEAKER_02:We could actually have Sydney on here and she could tell you all about it. She's been the makeup artist for Oh yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, Sydney Durr, very great at makeup. Hook her up, Amy. Yes, all the stories.
SPEAKER_02:Um, David's not that way. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks. No, but the way it works, kind of um, everyone does things a little bit differently, but so like I definitely do shoot with clients who they own 100% of whatever we shoot.
SPEAKER_01:Fair content, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But they're paying lots and lots of money for it to be exclusively there.
SPEAKER_01:So they pay more to make it exclusive than for you to have rights. Okay, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00:And essentially what photographers who are kind of smarter about it um do, there's a couple of different options, but a lot of them will do trade work. And essentially, if you are subscribing to a photographer on OnlyFans or Patreon or wherever they have their content, it's like it's almost like free advertising for the girl's actual page.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Because they can see whatever you guys shot, puts new customers in front of them.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:And then what happens a lot of the time is they'll subscribe to my page and then they'll bleed into all the other girls' content. So it's good marketing for them for you to show.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so yeah, that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00:I like that one. I'm gonna go follow her as well, and then I can just see a ton of her.
SPEAKER_01:So, how many titties do you photograph on a monthly basis?
SPEAKER_00:Oh god, I don't even I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Because you only do full nude now, yeah?
SPEAKER_00:Or do you primarily so you shoot kind of two of everything since Instagram is that shit crazy?
SPEAKER_01:Um, and well, it did get bought out by Facebook, so that explains a lot.
SPEAKER_00:All of their stuff changes constantly. So you shoot stuff that's like kind of Instagram friendly, which should be like boudoir, lingerie, typical type stuff. Yeah, and then you'll shoot all of the stuff that people actually pay money for. Anyone who tells you they're selling selfies on OnlyFans is full of shit.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Um Same with like that Snapchat premium.
SPEAKER_00:Same with Snapchat premium. They're not selling foot pictures to make thousands and thousands of dollars a month.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but if you want to buy foot pictures, I'm fully willing. I'm just I'm not gonna sell you photos of my tits, even though I've been asked at least three times since we uh started this podcast. Um, I'm not gonna do that, but I will sell feet photos.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, you know, I used to get like the uh why was I so above that before when I did like my fitness videos all the time? I'm like, why was I above that$500 a month? No, I wasn't. That was when I was divorced.
SPEAKER_01:And I was like, yeah, you should have taken that.
SPEAKER_02:I've always felt like I'm like, I'm so above that. I'm like fucking choosy.
SPEAKER_01:None of us are above that, baby. Times are hard. The COVID hit, the COVID wasn't hitting then.
SPEAKER_00:That's why COVID hadn't really set in.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:Um, so COVID did push a lot of people to start OnlyFans. Yeah. Here's the crazy part. So I know lots of girls who make like a couple thousand dollars a month. That's crazy posting very basic stuff. I know an even growing segment of girls who are making like$30,000,$40,000,$50,000 a month.
SPEAKER_01:See, that makes me want to like change my morals a little bit.
SPEAKER_00:That's my backup page.
SPEAKER_02:I'm like, why can't I find your other one? Because he has so many. Am I not following?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, you have to type in the entire username for me to even show up.
SPEAKER_01:No, I um so it's really do that.
SPEAKER_02:Hold on, really, really quickly. Let's type in the entire username. What is it?
SPEAKER_00:Dm.shoots.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, that's where I get it.
SPEAKER_00:You have to add that period. Least favorite thing ever. DM shoots number two.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, so it's at DM.shoots two.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:That's the one.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, and that's the g okay. That's the one.
SPEAKER_00:That's currently the best account I have.
SPEAKER_01:Because your other two have been shut down.
SPEAKER_02:Just follow all of them because of fucking haters. Haters, haters.
SPEAKER_00:There's like a whole team of people who report me routinely.
SPEAKER_01:And I'm not sure. And they were models right? They were models that you didn't want to work with. Sometimes it's girls.
SPEAKER_00:Because he doesn't like crazy girls. Yeah, so like no drama zone over here. I work with girls who are nuts. Like if I pick up something that they're weird or I hear repeated stories like this girl's kind of crazy, I don't want your ass.
SPEAKER_02:No, because it's drama for you. Like you run your own life, you have like your own thing on this. This is not like you're not a creepy photographer that hits up Instagram models. Like they seek you and you get to choose what you want to do. Hence, why you know all the boobs? You're like, good boobs.
SPEAKER_01:Can you, can you, if we did a if we did a fucking like mix and match with like names and titties, how many do you think you could get right? You think you'd kill it? Yeah, that's amazing. I now I want to do that. I wanna, I wanna like test you now.
SPEAKER_02:I feel like all boobs look different. We had the same boobs put in and ours looked so different. Totally different.
SPEAKER_01:There's so many things that go into it. Your natural body shape, your skin, like there's just so many things. Like, I don't think there are any even twins. Let's be real. Even twins, you don't you don't got the same titties, you just don't. You might think you do, but there's gonna be something that's different.
SPEAKER_00:That would be a little bit of a challenge, but if you had a set of twins and tried to match them, yeah, that would probably be tough.
SPEAKER_01:That'd be interesting.
SPEAKER_02:No, I've known twins and they still don't have the same tits.
SPEAKER_01:They don't, they really don't. Those are so unique to each person's body. It's like fingerprints. Your titties are your fingerprints, bitches. Like if you that's what we got now. Be like, okay, you're gonna arrest us, screw fingerprints, take our titty photos. Take our titty print, slap that titty down. Boom.
SPEAKER_00:I want roll it in the ink.
SPEAKER_02:Find your fingerprint. Let me see your titty print. Oh, I'm gonna see the titty print.
SPEAKER_01:Is that a new thing? If you guys want to send us a titty print, by all means, we are like more than happy to accept them. Yeah, we'll we'll judge your unless you're like um not a woman. I'm not as much of a fan.
SPEAKER_00:No one titty prints.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, so super funny.
SPEAKER_02:I'll tell you a story after this. Maybe I've already told you. But yes, no one wants that.
SPEAKER_01:Since we um since we started this podcast, I've gotten a lot of friend requests, which is great because she's the only one from creepy men and she.
SPEAKER_02:Can we talk about this? She accepts every single man. No. Yes, every single one. She's lying.
SPEAKER_01:No, I'm 75% though, which is still an excessively high game.
SPEAKER_02:I'm like, who's this? Oh, you're friends with Lacey? Delete. Okay. Friends with Lacey, delete.
SPEAKER_01:If you get a friend request from a weird dude you don't know, I'm probably a mutual friend. That's fair.
SPEAKER_02:Can I talk about he knows about your weird stranger session and what happens. So for the whole session, we won't wear it in.
SPEAKER_01:I'm just saying, he knows about everything.
SPEAKER_02:I tell him David everything for some reason.
SPEAKER_01:My number of friend requests have gone way up. Like I used to get maybe two or three a day. Now I'm getting almost all the time.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, because you talk about your red flags because I said how I have some and you have zero.
SPEAKER_01:How I I ignore them. So now everyone wants to be my friend. She's like, I actually have zero standards.
SPEAKER_02:Heather has ten and I have none. I don't really care.
SPEAKER_01:I'm literally getting friend requests from dudes who have bigger titties than me, which is that's a stretch because I got, I mean, they're not the biggest by any means. I've watched plastic surgery shows forever because they interest me and I love it. Um, no, you do not. She does. No, I do not. If your tits are bigger than my head, I will automatically not fucking accept your tits.
SPEAKER_02:Do you want to hear David didn't hear the last podcast, but um, all she said was have a job and any sort of vehicle. And don't live with your mother.
SPEAKER_01:Don't live with your mother.
SPEAKER_00:Don't live with that. Have a job and not have a running baseball.
SPEAKER_02:She said, Don't live in your mother's basement.
SPEAKER_00:What if you live upstairs with mom?
SPEAKER_02:No, then that was fine. Then that was fine. No, no, you literally can't. No, you literally said, don't live in your mom's basement. Don't have a secret child.
SPEAKER_00:I don't know what you're gonna title this podcast, but you will get a lot more of these friend requests.
SPEAKER_01:Literally, this podcast is titled titties.
SPEAKER_02:But and then we went down a rabbit hole of all the other things.
SPEAKER_01:We always do, we always do. But we come back to center because at the end of the day, everybody loves titties, everybody wants to see titties. I know I love seeing titties. The the best part about being a woman. Okay, I do. But the best part about being a woman is the woman's bathroom at a bar because you can see so many titties just by asking.
SPEAKER_03:Just by asking.
SPEAKER_01:I'm not gonna.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, I get asked a lot because I usually wear like, and they're like, oh my gosh, are those real? And I'm like, nope, do you want to feel? And they do, and then I get groped, and then they tell their friends to come in, and then it's a thing, and then you're stuck in the bathroom.
SPEAKER_01:If they have real titties and you have fake titties, then there's like a compare and contrast contest, so then everybody gets to see everybody's, it's like a thing. So when men are like, why do women go to the bathroom together? It's to see titties.
SPEAKER_00:It's I mean, uh no, the group thing is.
SPEAKER_02:One leads to another one made me lead to another.
SPEAKER_00:So, like if you're doing like a group photo shoot, yeah, same thing on steroids.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I can see it.
SPEAKER_00:Everyone is very comfortable with themselves, usually at that point. Everyone wants to know, like, where'd you get those done? How long has it been? What do they feel like? Yeah, very normal.
SPEAKER_01:Because even case in point, me and her, we got our tits done by the same doctor, but they're different. So it's like, even though you felt a fake titties, that doesn't mean you felt all fake titties. So if you're offering, I still want to feel it. If they're real, I want to feel it. Okay, bottom line.
SPEAKER_02:End of story.
SPEAKER_01:I just want to feel your titties. I love titties. I'm not gay by any stretch. I try she's not, she's I learned I learn the fucking hard way. I tried to be, and I learned that I'm not, but I still appreciate beautiful things, and titties are beautiful, except on men because then they're hairy. Oh my god. And I don't like hairy tips.
SPEAKER_02:If you're a woman, you know, if you might be on top, and then all of a sudden you're like, ugh, like you feel things and it's bad. Like when you get shocked, like that they're bigger, that's that's half it.
SPEAKER_00:Would you hold on to a man titty?
SPEAKER_02:No, during sex. Can I can I just say what happened one time? One time, once upon a time.
SPEAKER_01:You literally call him man boobs, that's his nickname because they all have big boobs.
SPEAKER_02:Well, you get drunk every once in a while, and you hang out with people, and then you end up dating them, and then sometimes you just I whoa, whoa, hands went up like I don't know what you do after that. You touch them and it's shocking. It was like I had handfuls. You never want them.
SPEAKER_01:All right. So I'm not gonna lie, when I was younger.
SPEAKER_02:He always wore a bra or a shirt. When I was younger, I just like a shirt.
SPEAKER_01:I very much liked man or like the dad rod. But I still to this day, I like that.
SPEAKER_02:Did Fat Roger always wear a tank top underneath his shirt too?
SPEAKER_01:No.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, that's a sign. That's a red flag.
SPEAKER_00:Roger, poor fat Roger is getting roasted today.
SPEAKER_01:He knows who he is. He's not listening, he's blocked on every fucking thing I could possibly think of.
SPEAKER_02:So he said, yeah, listen to our last podcast. He didn't like her face. I don't like him.
SPEAKER_01:He's funny, but anyway. No, he did not. Um, and okay, I think we should clarify, right? Because there's a difference between like having a dad bob and having a little boob. And then there's a difference, like, there's getting and there's a big difference between that and full-on man. There's a difference. There's a big difference.
SPEAKER_02:And just like, what happened? And also, I know Chad, and he can fix that for you. Like, I had never experienced it till that one time. I was in the middle dream with like and it was I was so shocked at what is happening, I didn't know what to do.
SPEAKER_01:My hands went up in the most, you know, like we just think after that.
SPEAKER_02:And I called you right after.
SPEAKER_01:You like literally right after because she hadn't even like left the house yet. She was in the bathroom and called me.
SPEAKER_00:So weird thing about chat, I used to play rec with volleyball.
SPEAKER_01:We talked about this, and I was like, Surgeon? Yes, I wonder about that. I don't remember anything.
SPEAKER_00:Before I ever knew that he's done like everyone you know, girls.
SPEAKER_02:Yes, well, we were talking about it. Um, I think at Coconuts when we were doing like yeah, shirt. When you used to do shirts when you yeah, coast.
SPEAKER_01:The booty enthusiast. I'm sad that you stopped that.
SPEAKER_02:That was I think I own every single thing that you have ever made, and also anyone that ever came into my studio that ever did anything.
SPEAKER_00:Everyone got a butt shirt.
SPEAKER_02:Even still, well, no, to this day, even when I wear it, I'm like, I want that.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm like, millions of peaches.
SPEAKER_02:Now he takes like photos of naked women that are like I mean, it's still peaches, it's just a different kind.
SPEAKER_01:It's it's real life peaches.
SPEAKER_02:Are you doing that anymore? Yeah, screen printing all that shirts.
SPEAKER_00:So I graduated my shirt collection instead of doing the booty enthusiast. I started making a line that is the pretty kitty club.
SPEAKER_02:Ooh, I have seen this. I have not.
SPEAKER_00:I'm very intrigued that's pretty popular. It just says that in like scripts and it has little categories.
SPEAKER_02:Like the script like on our shirt are Brazilians because you want a little pretty kitty. Why won't you do it? It's the only way you go.
SPEAKER_01:It's fucking scary as hell. Oh, and I'm not gonna have my vagina ripped in the city. Can I tell you it's so soft? That's another story. So soft. Um, I'm not having my vagina ripped.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, can you like can you like um explain to her that there's a big difference between getting wax and shaving?
SPEAKER_00:It's not not even the same thing.
SPEAKER_01:And so like the softness level. For my part, I had my laser removal for my bikini line. Other than that, fuck off. Either deal with it or get the fuck out of my room. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. For yourself. Like, it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_00:It's like if you go to a restaurant and they order a well-done steak.
SPEAKER_01:No, nobody does that.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly.
SPEAKER_01:If you do that, don't talk to them.
SPEAKER_00:That's shaving.
SPEAKER_01:No, it is not. 100%. Um, yep.
SPEAKER_00:It doesn't even feel the same. Nope.
SPEAKER_02:It is so kind of soft.
SPEAKER_00:Waxing literally changes the amount of soft the type of vagina.
SPEAKER_02:Thank God titties don't have hair. And we don't have to worry about it. Actually, they do, actually, they do. Um David is even. Well, nipple hairs, that's been a thing. Yep, women have nipple hairs. Random, nipple hair? Random nipple hairs.
SPEAKER_00:Should you point it out?
SPEAKER_02:No.
SPEAKER_00:As a guy, like if you end up with a nipple hair in your mouth, do you just pretend it didn't have to be a little bit more?
SPEAKER_02:It is like a thing.
SPEAKER_01:Well, not like a lot, but like one or two. I feel like that's a random thing. So I motorboat, but I don't like suck on them, right? So I've never had that. We are not talking about like a hairy ass fucking tit.
SPEAKER_00:We're talking about like more boobs than I have.
SPEAKER_02:She has she's molested my boobs once or twice. Like she motorboats me all the time. And she is. It's probably gonna happen as soon as we stop.
SPEAKER_01:It's definitely gonna happen as soon as we stop. Because you're here. I'll probably motor about you. I mean, they're little, they're not booze.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, they're pretty small.
SPEAKER_01:Don't fucking challenge me. I'll still do it.
SPEAKER_00:I'm fat right now.
SPEAKER_01:She's trying to strip him off. No, I'm not. Alright, we gotta end things today. Um, thank you everybody for listening. We want to hear all about your titties. We also, if they're beautiful, send us pictures. We ain't mad about it. Instagram.
SPEAKER_00:We are not a large man.
SPEAKER_01:Do not send if they're bigger than my head. I want to see it. Honestly, even as a woman, if it's bigger than my head, I don't want to see it. I want to see all the titties and all the pecs. Send them to us. If you can crush a watermelon with your tit, I don't want to see it. I like it.
SPEAKER_00:If you can crush a watermelon with your tit, I want to see it. Send a video.
SPEAKER_01:Please send it. Oh, I want to see it. We are not the same.
SPEAKER_00:It's not like a sexual thing. It's just sexual. I want to see that.
SPEAKER_01:I want to see that. I have have you not seen these videos? I have seen them, and every time my tit hurts. And I didn't even do it.
SPEAKER_02:I think we're going to watch them. So we all we want to see all the titty videos, all the titty. Everything. Everything. So send it to us on We Are NotThe Same Podcast on Instagram. And I'm going to be uploading all the things. We are on Facebook, We Are Not The Same. Or you can find us at Lacey Joseph at WeAre NotTheSame Podcast.com. Heather Gardner at WeAre NotTheSame Podcast.com. Our website will be up shortly. David, where can we find you on all the things? Because he has the best photos. Go follow him.
SPEAKER_00:DM shoots too on Instagram. DM shoots all one word on Twitter. That's about it right now.
SPEAKER_01:That's it right now.
SPEAKER_00:I will not accept your friend request on Facebook.
SPEAKER_01:That's you're my friend on Facebook. You're my friend on Facebook too. We're special. If you're a strong, you know what? I will not accept it. It's because we have nice tests. We have nice tips. Yeah, we do. We actually do. All right. Hit us up. Let us know. And for real, if you do a googly boobly fucking video or photo, I need it. I need it in my life. Please send those. I'm ready for it.
SPEAKER_02:But if we actually should do this, Googly Boobly, they will read it.
SPEAKER_01:Googly boobly is happening on fucking Tuesday.
SPEAKER_02:David, are you gonna are you gonna take a photo? Are you gonna do this? Are you gonna do this video for us? I will repost it for you. Perfect.
SPEAKER_01:You repost it. All right, all right. We are out of time. Thank you all for listening. We will see you next time. Have a good one, everybody.