Common Law, Common Chaos, And Why Your Sourdough Has Better Boundaries Than Your Ex

A loaf of sourdough, a misplaced Princess Bride quote, and a very real question: if marriage isn’t about survival anymore, what makes it worth choosing? We pull on that thread and follow it through a century of norms and numbers, from the 1920s peak to the long decline since the 1970s—and the cultural shifts that explain it. Along the way, we weigh what changes when you marry in your 20s versus your 40s, how women’s financial independence reframed commitment, and why cohabitation and common law feel like marriage without the vows.

We get practical and a little personal. Dating with intention means saying the quiet parts out loud—kids or no kids, timeline to engagement, views on money, fidelity, and living arrangements. We talk about the power dynamics of moving into someone else’s house, why some of us would elope instead of hosting a spectacle, and how to spot the difference between a rough patch and a pattern. Effort is the heartbeat of a lasting bond, but effort needs direction: agree on what partnership looks like day to day, not just on the wedding day. And yes, the “ick” is real, but so are ebbs and flows; good relationships survive storms because both people keep showing up.

There’s space here for hope, even after grief, betrayal, and canceled weddings. Choosing marriage now is less about necessity and more about alignment, equity, and shared meaning. If you’re navigating the shrinking dating pool, balancing kids and careers, or wondering whether rates will rebound as values shift back toward tradition, this conversation is for you. Listen, reflect, and tell us: what’s your non-negotiable for saying yes to forever? If you enjoyed this, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review to help more listeners find us.

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Transcript

ERR

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Welcome. This is a hot mess.

SPEAKER_06 0:38

Um, I turned us on while I'm eating sourdough while Lacey is dying of acid reflux.

SPEAKER_05 0:47

And um I did just burp and it's a little bit.

SPEAKER_06 0:49

We're in between shows in your mouth. You like threw up a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

It's fine. It's fine.

SPEAKER_06 0:55

Wasn't the bread.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

No. It was liquid.

SPEAKER_06 0:57

It was liquid. Um yeah, so here we are. We were laughing hysterically, and I'm like, we should be recording.

SPEAKER_03 1:03

Okay, we were laughing hysterically because I did a pop culture reference that I feel like most people would get. And now there's just like la la la. And then I look at her and I'm all like, Do you know what that's from? And she's like, no. And I was like, dumbfounded, first off, just stared at her, stared at her. And I was like, you really don't know? And she's like, do it again. So I do it again.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

And then she's like, oh, that was it? Like, she's like, I thought that was just like you being fucking you. And that's why I love you.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

And then I have the most horrific thought about how many fucking pop culture references I do. Cause let me tell you, I do them all the fucking time. And how many of them Heather doesn't actually realize it's a pop culture reference and just thinks that I'm being weird.

SPEAKER_06 1:55

It's your fucking tism. I always but just be like, I thought it was you. I thought it was you. Okay, go ahead and do it for the crowd.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Okay, well, do it for the crowd. Our topic today is marriage.

SPEAKER_06 2:08

So I go, You won't look, I won't look, I won't look.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

I go, my bad, my bed, to gather to day. And she just no response.

SPEAKER_06 2:25

I didn't know what I just thought that was her.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

So funny because she didn't know what it was and she didn't ask. She just was like, Lacey's being lazy.

SPEAKER_06 2:34

I thought you were just like vocally stimming with her bag. That was like how you were gonna be introducing us. I'm like, oh, I can get down on that. Alright. Um, I was just letting you be you, and it wasn't even you. Okay, so what is it from?

SPEAKER_03 2:53

The Princess Bride.

SPEAKER_06 2:54

Oh, yeah, I've never seen that movie.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

What the fuck is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_06 2:58

Never have I ever seen that movie.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

This is one of the greatest movies of all time. I watch it a lot. Like, which is crazy because they you know me. I don't like to watch things over and over or eat things over and over. Why? Oh, are you trying to tell me to eat my microphone?

SPEAKER_06 3:13

Yes, and then you said, and I'm like, yes, stick it in your mouth.

SPEAKER_03 3:17

Just put it in my mouth. See, that's where my I can't help it. See, let's do it. Do you know that that's a reference? Obviously, I know that that's a reference.

SPEAKER_06 3:25

That one I know.

SPEAKER_03 3:26

And then you live the rest of my life in fear that you're not gonna understand. I'm gonna overcompensate. It's just the meaning. And after everyone, I'm gonna be like, do you know what that's from?

SPEAKER_06 3:36

I'll be like, you? No. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

But then that also means on the plus side that you're giving me credit for some really great lines. Literally.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

It's not mine at all. I don't know if that one falls into that category.

SPEAKER_03 3:53

But I love it. It makes me laugh. And anytime I hear the word marriage, that is instantly what goes in my brain.

SPEAKER_06 4:01

That's funny. Now that will be what goes to my brain too.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Good. I have successfully spread my knowledge. Spread something. Um yeah. Yeah, we are. We really are gonna talk about marriage today. And like we are how it's changed over like the last what hundred plus years.

SPEAKER_06 4:24

We can even just say through our lifetime has changed. Honestly, yeah. I feel like things have drastically, whoa, I sound so much clearer right now. Weird. Um, drastically changed just from like my generation, or not my generation, like from just like growing up, like seeing things and as they are now. But also, we could even go a little step further and say, like, in your 20s, marriage looks vastly different than in like your 40s. Yeah, I think that's your late 30s, right?

SPEAKER_03 4:48

Like people who get married in their 20s versus people who get married.

SPEAKER_06 4:52

Like first marriages also versus like later on, blending families or finances or life that you've already had like two full lives. Like it's different when you're young and you get married and you're like, oh, we're gonna build life together, blah, blah, blah. And then one dies. Oh, is that just my story? Weird. Okay, and then like all of a sudden, you're just like fucking out here again. Okay, and then you waste three more years on a romance scam, but that's fine. I'm why was that so specific? It's like I was targeting myself there, anyways. So marriage later on is vastly different because when you're later on in life, you usually have like the proverbial fucking baggage, right? You got some kids, you probably got a big debt or something carrying along with you. Definitely that. And um, here's the thing: if you've never had any kids or you haven't been in long-term relationships, there's something wrong with you. Scam. That's how Johnny Bravo like totally told me he had never, you know. I was like, oh, you've just not experienced life. That was a lie. So scam.

SPEAKER_03 5:55

So I looked up uh statistics because I'm a nerd and I like numbers. Um so marriage rates they peaked in the 1920s. Okay. How high would you guess the the percentage of people like adults were married? In the 20s? In the 1920s.

SPEAKER_06 6:16

I'm gonna say like 90%.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Dude, that's so close. I'm impressed. It was 92.3%.

SPEAKER_06 6:22

I almost wanted to say 95.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

So that's in 1920, that was the one. Do you want to know what it was in 2020? 100 years later, guess what the marriage rate is? 19%. Oh, that's actually low. 31.

SPEAKER_06 6:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

But from 92 to 31.

SPEAKER_06 6:38

31 decrease. Crazy. And it's because there's so many options now for marriage, because be back then it's like that's what you did. Right. It was expected. And you also didn't get divorced.

SPEAKER_03 6:52

Plus, you gotta think about like Oh, but they also got married young. They got married way young.

SPEAKER_06 6:57

Women did nothing but have kids and stay home.

SPEAKER_03 7:00

They weren't allowed to do anything else. So there's so many contributing factors, right?

SPEAKER_05 7:04

So plus like marriage and divorce was not looked out as acceptable. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:10

It's very easy. People would get shunned.

SPEAKER_05 7:12

Yeah, and there's no social media. So it's kind of like people could get away with a lot more shit.

SPEAKER_03 7:18

Think about the fact, okay. Think about this.

SPEAKER_06 7:20

I just feel like people invest in their relationships. I feel like nowadays it's way too easy to be like, mm, this requires a little bit of work, but if I jump over to this greener grass, I can enjoy all these other things. There's just way too much in front of our face to stay focused, I feel like.

SPEAKER_03 7:37

So there was a dip in marriage rates in the 30s. It dropped dropped to 67.8, which was a big drop. But the Great Depression happened.

SPEAKER_06 7:47

Okay, I was like, there had to be some contributing factor for the city.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

The Great Depression happened. Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 7:51

So I'm sure people didn't get married probably because they couldn't afford it.

SPEAKER_03 7:54

Right, or there was a lot of people who off themselves.

SPEAKER_06 7:57

Was that a time when there was a war at all? No.

SPEAKER_03 8:00

Um, no, it was before the war because the war was in like the the later 10 years.

SPEAKER_06 8:04

Because I feel like that's the 40s.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

That actually made the rates go back up because people would get married before they left. They left. So then in like the 50s, which would have been at like the end of the war, um, it was back up to 90.2. Then it kind of fluctuates slightly. In the 70s, it 76.5. And then since the 70s, it has never once gone up. It's been down every single year. And you want to know what I think that is. Why? Because women were not allowed to have their own bank account until 1973. They had to have a man on their account, whether it was like their father or their husband or whatever.

SPEAKER_06 8:41

Survivor.

SPEAKER_03 8:47

Marriage rates have consistently declined every single decade since then. Weird.

SPEAKER_06 8:54

Well, because I guess, yeah, you don't need a man for survival. But here's the thing I don't think marriage lasts when you do it out of like convenience or necessity or things like that. Like for my view, not now. Not in today's world. Today's world is like, right. So back then it's like survival. You have to. Um there's also so many different types of relationships now that aren't necessarily marriage.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

Yes. Yep, right. Nowadays you have people who will cohabitate for years. And some some states have common law marriage where if you cohabitate with another person in a relation, a domestic relationship for a certain amount of time, legally they will deem you marriage in the eyes of the law. Like, so that if you were to separate, you actually have to like go through the courts, which is also kind of weird that they can just do that. Which is I don't, I don't, I don't really fucking weird. I I'm yeah, I'm like, hey, we made the choice not to. So why are we doing this?

SPEAKER_06 9:44

Like, why do you get to say well because obviously it's one person in the relationship doing that if it ends and you're getting through the court system, if that's oh yeah, yeah, obviously.

SPEAKER_03 9:54

Somebody had to make that choice or whatever. But I think it also comes to like debts and stuff. I think at that point you almost have to.

SPEAKER_06 10:00

If you're gonna be tied to someone's debt, I get no, I mean, not if you're not married, you wouldn't be at that point.

SPEAKER_03 10:07

But that's what I'm saying. What uh what are the if you're common law married married according to the state, doesn't that make you financially responsible for that other person's debt? Because in the eyes of the law, they view you as married.

SPEAKER_06 10:19

I wouldn't think so because if everything's in your name, that's your own doing. Unless you had unless you had like legal. I could see like okay, like building.

SPEAKER_03 10:27

I don't know that much about common law.

SPEAKER_06 10:29

I don't either. I also want to be done with someone the moment I'm done with them, so I'd just be like, goodbye. I also think if you're making the choice to not get married, that's on you. But here's another thing: I would not stay in a relationship long term where I was not getting my whole goal is to be married eventually, so I would not be with someone that there that was not the end game. Same. I agree. And I also feel like there's a timeline. So like if I I That's where I fuck up. Like I wouldn't be in a common law situation, I wouldn't fucking do that. Like, if you don't care about me enough to marry, like if you don't want that, then why are we investing time to not get there? Does that make sense? Yeah, I'm not about like there's only eight. And also, I don't have to be married though, that's the other thing. I feel like if I'm dating, it's for that purpose. But I also because I could be totally fine on my own without anybody. So like I choose you to add value and us to like grow together, but like if that's not then we just it wouldn't be, I don't know. That's just where I'm at.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

I think a lot of it has to do with the way people are brought up, right? It's way different now than the way it used to be. Which we both talked about how we were yeah, how we're traditional but modern. Yeah. Um, but a lot of how anything that we're saying on.

SPEAKER_06 11:47

I know fucking weird. That's a big one, too.

SPEAKER_03 11:50

I know it's weird that we both agree on that because I don't think people would look at either one of us and assume that that would be our choice.

SPEAKER_06 11:58

Right.

SPEAKER_03 11:58

So it's even weirder.

SPEAKER_06 12:01

Do you think people look at me and think that though? No. Oh. I was a damn good wife. I like it.

SPEAKER_03 12:07

I know, but you're a bodybuilder. That doesn't scream housewife.

SPEAKER_06 12:10

But I can make sourdough, damn it. You make delicious sourdough. I actually love it.

SPEAKER_05 12:15

I love that.

SPEAKER_06 12:15

You're making sour dough. That was I love being like the wife, taking care of things. Like, I always have been like that. I've always been a great wife. So, like, but I also can be a really I'm like a really good mom, and that fulfills me too.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

So it's like I don't need someone to like Yeah, I think that's the fact that I would want, and like that should be And that's the a huge difference between now and back then, right? Because like you said earlier, back then it was out of necessity. It was like it made sense, but it was also how they were brought up. Like it was just the the society has such a big play, I think, with that since 1970 or whenever men have becoming more and more more womanly.

SPEAKER_06 12:51

Testosterone levels are down. And I'm not saying it's like every man, but there have been a lot of like the whole romance scam that's like up and coming, like men leeching off women, that's new. Men would probably like you would never do that, like in the 1920s. They've lost the they couldn't have the general that's what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Like, society is such a big play on it, right? Because like it what they project out to the world is what the world eventually turns into. Whether that's through regular television or advertisements or news or whatever, like art imitates life, imitates art type of situation. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 13:31

So there's very few men anymore that want to be the head of the household and actually take care of things. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Yeah, because they're but not only these shows that like show them that they don't have to be, or like society you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_06 13:43

Society that they provide and then you accidentally have to be. I think it's mean, it's not a sale. Um they can provide financially, but are so far gone emotionally and out of the family dynamics, then I mean you see a lot of that. The family dynamics is huge.

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Like if you look at households that have stayed together versus households that haven't stayed together, and then generationally down the line, see you know what I mean? Like at the beginning, when they stayed together generationally, the next generation would stay together, and it was like once divorce started happening and it was no longer taboo, like it spread like wildfire, right? And then like people become desensitized to it, and people don't go into marriages anymore. Not everybody, I'm not speaking no, this we're just generally like the generalized people go into marriage without the thought of like divorce isn't an option, right? And I think that that's a huge part of it.

SPEAKER_06 14:39

And so nowadays there's too many options that like literally glass grass is greener over here. There's too many outs. Social media is too many temptations, too.

SPEAKER_03 14:47

You're not just tempted by what's in your own backyard anymore because you have access to everything.

SPEAKER_06 14:53

Problems happen and people don't solve them or communicate, they jump ship. Yeah. Because it's easier to find something new than to put something in effort and uncomfortableness into the relationship. But that's what builds relationships because you're never gonna have like a fully a full what was what I'm trying to say, like depth. Yeah, full what is it? Yeah, no, that makes sense. Into a relationship. Whatever.

SPEAKER_03 15:17

Um I also think technological advancement plays a big part in it because it's allowed people to become lazy in so many aspects of life that they then in turn become lazy in every aspect of life.

SPEAKER_06 15:31

And they're no longer communicating or spending time.

SPEAKER_03 15:35

Effort is the number one most important. I I'm pretty sure you could ask anybody. Yes. My and the number one most important thing is effort. And and yet in this day and age, it's very hard for people to want to commit any level of effort because it's easy to, like you said, just find something else.

SPEAKER_06 15:54

I know. I find that actually very fascinating. Um, that the level of the level changes as the relationship progresses. That's where I feel like I'm always like, oh, there it is.

SPEAKER_03 16:06

Well, and I feel weird because like I'm almost 40 and I've never been married. And like that put like people look at me differently and they're like instantly they're like, but why? And I can't even get mad at them because I do that. If a dude's never been married, I know, but you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_06 16:23

Just without knowing you have been engaged and you've been in very long-term relationships. And it wasn't your fault, so that's different, and you have children.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

So no, it's I wouldn't I think it's more But I do think that the first instinct of people who don't know any of the story, and they just hear, oh, you're almost 40-year-old, never been married. Oh my gosh, this takes me back.

SPEAKER_06 16:45

Okay, we can talk about the backpack. Yeah. Same age, never been married, never been in love.

SPEAKER_05 16:53

But yet said I love you within two weeks.

SPEAKER_06 16:55

Right. Anyways, so that that was a red flag. I'm like, mmm, is that not a red flag?

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Yeah. But yeah, so that's I think that people would look at me and instantly be like, oh, a 40-year-old woman never been married, that's a red flag. No, because you have children and look at a 40-year-old man who's never been married and been like, mm-mm, but if he'd been engaged and been in long-term relationships. I have been in long-term.

SPEAKER_06 17:18

Right, and you were engaged. And it ended because you got cheated on, not because you did something.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

It ended because of a child. That was not mine.

SPEAKER_06 17:26

You know, I'm glad that circumstance we can just go ahead and listen to the other episodes. A journey through our trauma. It will definitely talk about her situation. What about the pro yeah? Any of our previous episodes will definitely shine the light. Oh, you don't listen to them there.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

But the the even with going through that, even though of like it was really hard. I planned an entire wedding that didn't happen.

SPEAKER_06 17:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 17:50

Like I lost, I spent$7,000 because I was the only one contributing financially, and I didn't yeah. Anyway, so I spent$7,000 on a wedding that never happened. And but that didn't deter me from like still wanting at the end of the day. I still want to get married. At the end of the day, I still want to get married. I still want to have that great love. I even at 40, I could still be married to somebody for 20 years, you know. I'm not getting married at 40, obviously, but like even if I met somebody right now, I could still be married to that person for 20 years.

SPEAKER_06 18:25

I always forget you're slightly older than I am.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

I'm not actually 40. You're older than me.

SPEAKER_06 18:29

Okay, I'm like, wait a minute.

SPEAKER_03 18:31

I was like, I'm not 40 yet either. Not yet. No, your birthday is April. Yeah. And I'm July.

SPEAKER_06 18:36

Okay, so why was I like, wait a minute, I'm so confused over you.

SPEAKER_03 18:39

I just mean like I'm basically 40.

SPEAKER_06 18:41

Okay, I know, but I was like, so I didn't know you were 40, and I feel like I'm like, we're best friends, and I feel like I should have known this. Okay, I was right. I was right.

SPEAKER_03 18:55

We just realized earlier today that our third best friend, we don't even know her phone number.

SPEAKER_06 19:00

No, I'm like, I always go to message Janessa and I'm like, oh, it's on Messenger. And then I look at you and I'm like, I don't even have her phone number. And you're like, I don't either. And I'm like, that's so fucking wild. She's our best friend. That she's like our best friend, and we don't ever it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 19:13

I know how to get to her house. I don't know what her address is. I know how to get to your house. I do too. I don't know what your address is.

SPEAKER_06 19:19

No.

SPEAKER_03 19:19

It's fine.

SPEAKER_06 19:20

But I don't know your phone number either. I couldn't memorize I don't have it memorized.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

I do feel like part of what's hard now is that people do get um like bad blood with it. Like that could have easily turned me off of marriage entirely.

SPEAKER_05 19:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

But it didn't. But then there are other people out there who have experienced things like me. And they had a great thing.

SPEAKER_06 19:40

I mean, our marriage was like, I think just like when two younger people get married, like you go through shit and then we became like the best virgins, and our relationship was so solid. And I knew what it was like to have a partner that had my back 100%, no matter what. Even if I was wrong, he was right there. I mean, I was never wrong.

SPEAKER_05 19:57

But um, I was there.

SPEAKER_06 20:00

Anyways, he always had my back right or wrong. And there's just something so validating about that, and to know that you're that person will always be there for you, you like no matter what. And there's just no having to question it. Like, I don't think I've ever I ever had to question how much he loved me.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

But you're not turned off from the idea of possibly getting married again, though.

SPEAKER_06 20:26

Um, no. I mean, I obviously that's if I'm dating, that's what I'm we're and if we're not yes, end goal. And also dating with intention. I'm not. gonna be someone's girlfriend for years.

SPEAKER_03 20:36

That's super hard too, right? In the dating world because so many people that's not their end goal. And it's like you have to Right.

SPEAKER_06 20:44

So then that's the thing like the filter through. If the other person doesn't want that. I mean I don't know or if at any point in time I guess it changes.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

Which is scary if it changes though, honestly if you think about it because like if you go into a relationship I would rather know earlier on than later on. Right. I agree. So like for me a deal breaker is kids. I don't want kids. Like I'm not saying like you can't have your own pre-existing kids but you're not having kids I'm not having any children I have my tubes tied. My shop is fucking closed.

SPEAKER_06 21:11

Mine like got medically closed. They wouldn't let me I tried oh I said you're taking at C section so I'm like you're already there go ahead and do that.

SPEAKER_03 21:19

I did too I even offered to sign a waiver earlier you were younger trip and slip.

SPEAKER_06 21:24

Yeah you have to be at least 35.

SPEAKER_03 21:27

I was 23 when I asked and they laughed at me.

SPEAKER_06 21:31

35 and then over two kids.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

I told them I would sign a release of liability form and they could just trip while they were doing the C section you should have been like do you see their father? I know that should have been enough it should have been enough they're like we'll do his vasectomy which he tells everyone he has that he doesn't which is why he has secret children.

SPEAKER_06 21:49

Jesus to the same age while you were engaged anyways it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

No it's fine it's fine but so it it's hard because you want to date with intention. Okay so here's the thing. I feel like the pool's already smaller because we're older and there are the merry people out. Then it gets even smaller because you have to take out the criminals and then it gets the ones with jobs.

SPEAKER_06 22:16

Yeah then it gets even smaller because I haven't added that yet that's how low my standards are I see your dating history I don't date attractive oh just wait we have a we have a guess who coming a special edition guess who I can't wait to share it with our listeners.

SPEAKER_02 22:41

The guess who gang and she's gonna replace all the characters with people from our life and then we're gonna play guess who with each other I think it's the funniest idea.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

Oh it's the best it's so funny. Yeah but now so you have this tiny little pool to choose from and within that you have to now find somebody who has the same end goal. Like how the fuck are we supposed I live in North Idaho like I'm not gonna find anybody your brother or sister. Gross hey that this is not Arkansas I heard you have a million cousins. No I do that's also a fear I have like 83 first cousins first cousins when I was doing the stand up comedy one of the people on my team had the last name Jessup and I was like I messaged him because I was like I was telling you I was like how much you want to bet I'm related to this and I was I literally have three three first cousins and that is it that's no no no no for my dad's side I guess my mom was one of six so okay they had lots of kids my dad with any of them so I don't one I have some on my um Facebook but we don't like interact. One of that's not entirely true. One of my cousins nine on my mom's side one of my cousins is an artist and she's a fabulous artist and I buy a lot of her art to support her and she actually designed Janessa's logo for her business.

SPEAKER_06 24:14

Yes and then my other cousin has like a clothing store and I'm like Mexicans but they're polygamists and so it's different but the same he like literally there's so many of them that's where you bid I was like well because like we used to joke around it's like you know the Mexican family I have a cousin that does this I have a brother that does that my cousin does this and I just it's literally the same with your family but it's polygamous instead of Mexicans I don't believe in that kind of marriage no you don't but your family does. Some of them a large portion of them I mean not like any that you but yeah it's a large pool of them do.

SPEAKER_03 25:05

Yeah you gotta be careful out there.

SPEAKER_06 25:08

You don't want to marry your cousin that's why you have a blood test in Idaho don't they? Do they know I'm like do they make you like tell you Idaho is not I don't know why you think that's what Idaho is.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

That's not that's Arkansas and maybe Utah.

SPEAKER_06 25:22

Well where aren't you from Idaho? Oh Montana Montana why do I forget about Montana you guys hide in the woods and I don't know you're there that's so funny because they live on a mountain they literally live through the woods you have to drive through them to get to them they do that on purpose the mountain town it's more acceptable in those parts I'm related to every person in that town by blood or marriage. Oh god the fact that you say by blood or marriage like end marriage blood end marriage I'm sure those lines have been crossed once or twice. If it's everyone in the town the gene pool eventually gets really watered down I can't okay anyways moving on topic of marriage anyway marriage rates are down but not in Pinehurst Montana Pintsdale Pinesdale Hearst is that is that one Pinehurst Pinehurst is a place but then not that place Pinedale You're gonna make me joke.

SPEAKER_03 26:39

My child from laughing I haven't seen any of them or spoken any of them in such a long time that might not even be true anymore. Who knows? Well that kind of thing doesn't just weed itself they they started divorcing each other and I didn't know the divorce rates I know they're even getting the polygamous DLC show didn't I never watch that I didn't either I didn't um I think he's married to only one of them now I did start watching that Seeking Sister Wives though because it's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_06 27:07

And there's like one guy on there that doesn't work and he has all these wives and they just like take care of him because they think that his intellectual pursuits is way like it's more that he just like fulfills his own self and works. And I'm like I don't understand why do these men stop providing I want a provider right I want someone you're like I'm gonna provide too but I also want you to provide I'm gonna provide so much I know you really do you really do you have no idea how well I'm gonna take care of you. It's stupid she gets autistic so she's gonna like focus in on you and then she's gonna be obsessed I'm gonna do everything. But then you gotta also watch it because one day she'll drop you like a fucking hot potato and the ick will be there and it will be gone.

SPEAKER_03 27:52

Oh god once the ick is there I can't I that Netflix show bothers me because I just don't think that you can recover from the ick.

SPEAKER_06 28:00

I just don't you can't and you never know when it's coming I wonder who I've given the ick to because I'm just like myself 100% and I say shit and I'm just I'm like what would my ick be I don't know have I ever given you very we probably wouldn't be friends.

SPEAKER_05 28:21

I mean there was a point.

SPEAKER_06 28:22

We have moments like there was a time we go on hiatuses the beer bottle time where I like shattered it or there was like the time that's actually impressive you're like that's my best friend that's my best friend I'm like get out of here you're going to jail you and my brother swoop me up so fast I'm like why are we in the cab and he's like because you just almost shanked a dude and to be fair it really was I mean I wish I was mocha more coherent during that time that would have been quiet.

SPEAKER_03 28:57

What are your thoughts on like arranged marriages? Would you ever do an arranged marriage?

SPEAKER_06 29:05

No, because I'd have to like the person I am not one that could ever spend time with anybody who I wasn't like into like I get very much it takes a lot of energy for me to be around people and I've becoming more and more of an introvert so if I can't like just be my unauthentic for you because you get pent up energy when you go into introvert mode. But I have to do stuff. Yes but I like to do stuff with my people that I feel like safe and comfortable with so it's like there's an energy drainer so I would have to be around I couldn't spend any time with somebody if they weren't someone that I actually wanted to be with. I feel physically I get so anxious if I'm stuck with somebody that I can't be around that's fair.

SPEAKER_03 29:50

I get anxiety from watching other people I'm just like get I have to so you don't like what if it's like an abusive situation. Also I could never do that would you ever do Love is Blind I watch this show and I'm like I won't even watch it it makes me so uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_06 30:07

We should watch it covered yes but we'll cover up the TV so we have no idea what they look like until they get to see each other and we'll make our own notes about each everybody how fun would that be that would be funny. Okay we're gonna do that when the next season came out but I was so disappointed by this last season I'm like I started fast forwarding it through things I'm like they're so boring no one got married right because nobody meant to they all went in knowing they weren't going to they just want to be on TV this love is blind and if it's not blind they should have some unattractive people in there just to shake it up because they only have like basically attractive people like not attractive to me but like stereotypes like they have a wide variety of attractive people I think that it would be funny if love really was blind throw me in there. Let's do let's do half ugly half attractive and I'm talking like ugly I want to have like people that are uncomfortable to look at and we'll see if love really is blind.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Yeah yeah just covered in you know crumbs oh I mean yes so yeah let's do that I'm not gonna lie I get really mad when I see ugly people that are married and that's so that's like a fucked up thing to even say out loud but I'm just like that's not fair but then look at their partner would you marry that I only date ugly people you're doing better my dating right even right we were just talking about like the things I didn't even list attractiveness.

SPEAKER_02 31:43

You had to I didn't even consider it in something that would remove people from the board well and because I realized you weren't going to mention it and I'm like I would have put it way up higher I really wasn't gonna mention it.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

You have to be physically attracted to someone to an extent yeah I agree with that. But my the difference is my attraction comes from other things.

SPEAKER_06 32:01

Well I get that too but like I you can't be like unattractive I'm not saying like I have like a weird standard or anything but you have to be physically attractive.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

Everybody has their own type or whatever they are but mine's like so person to person. Like I'll be attracted to somebody because of something and that then makes them look attractive to me even though I know technically they're not attractive.

SPEAKER_06 32:21

This makes sense for you? Yeah does that not make sense with yeah because they are all like I'm like oh every time I see any pictures I'm like okay that's the one I've never dated my type no your type is a nerdy lumberjack who can wear a suit yes preferably ginger ginger lumberjack wearing a suit covered in tattoos likes punk music and is also a nid yeah it's a California what would it take to get you two together I don't know I tell them all the time that we're gonna get married it's funny.

SPEAKER_03 32:59

In fact where was it we just talked about it yesterday she's talking to him right now no not right now but I was yesterday um we're talking about moving to Waco Texas why because they have really nice houses for cheap okay like I thought we were going to Florida I know I just look at places everywhere yesterday I was Waco Texas the day before it was Myrtle Beach South Carolina notified when houses like get cheaper no when I get bored I just start cruising around for a house some people use Tinder for people I use Zillow for houses if I were not I couldn't do that because unless I'm shopping for a house I'm not gonna look at that. I am I'm shopping for a house for years I just can't buy it very preemptive see I am not a window shopper I am not like if I'm gonna be shopping it's to the idea to purchase I could not do that that would drive me insane so okay we me and him were talking in mid-conversation he says I can't decide where I want to move to next housing prices are insane everywhere that I want to live and I can't justify$4000 for a piece of shit in a bad neighborhood and I said I mean you're obviously going to move where I do so that we can get married duh and he said he hearted it and then he sent me a house to look at that's so funny have I even ever seen a picture of him um I don't know probably the No I have not really maybe I was drunk I don't know not that I remember he had me send him a photo of Carrie the other day be after all the things went down yeah you I'm not getting into that here um so I sent him this photo exactly and he goes he looks one million percent exactly what the fuck I thought he would so funny and he's just like god damn it I'm trying I'm working on it does he not have social media um yeah but the mo the the the most recent image would be one that had been sent directly to me oh not on his online profile not what you expected that's like you're tight I know what the fuck for one for once I'm like I'm not like or okay I don't have to do the like he's very handsome yeah I know and he's he's a ginger yes and he's ex-military and he has tattoos tattoos and he calls me a unicorn and he's the best but he lives elsewhere but you guys have hooked up before never once we've never even kissed your face right now how are we gonna make this happen? I'm just gonna win him over by telling him every day not every day that's excessive every three we don't talk every day no he's gonna come visit I think in the summer and we're gonna hang out good yeah if it happens great if not we're gonna we're really good friends and I love that. Good okay well that's good yeah I was like worst case I'll be like hey we're friends we should just have that whole deal like I feel like I have married you have we've met me and him have been friends for a long time now yeah no I've seen a picture that is actually like the picture that I have in my head of of what your type is but just in a suit maybe a little more jacked but that's because I just assume everyone has to back surgery. He doesn't not have muscles no he I know fit I'm like wow lacey and he doesn't think so so he wants to work out more.

SPEAKER_06 36:55

Oh did you tell him that your best friend is a professional bodybuilder?

SPEAKER_03 36:57

Yeah okay good he knows who you are okay trust like trust I'm a big part of your story everyone must know he knows who you are what how do you describe me accurately fair yeah fair fair I love that okay so if you were to get married again would you do like tradition I've never been married well you started the process yeah that's true I did plan a whole start the process again yeah if you do if you go through with it this time what will you be planning like another traditional way no I would elope same yeah same I don't need a big party like that's not I do feel like some people get married for the wedding yes and I think that's sad totally but if you know you do what you want to do whatever makes you happy yeah I guess as long as that's not why you're getting married if you if you're getting married for the right reasons and you want to have a big wedding more power to you I just don't like the people who like it feels like they're literally just getting married for the wedding you know what I mean like they're not really thinking about the after effects oh I see what you're saying yes after that you're married like you get that right like you don't just get the wedding and then la la la like it's like it gets harder I think you know like when you're married things get like you still have to go through things you're stuck you're committed forever and I haven't I haven't lived with a man since prisoner. So you think that would be weird yeah I don't have room in my closet I you don't have room in your closet in my house yeah it would have to be a new house there's no space so I wouldn't even know how that's my reason I can I can't date you there's no room in my closet and I'm dating for marriage so eventually unless he has a bigger house with a bigger closet then right and he has space for you yeah so I have a hard part I like control and I I don't want to move into someone else's house that they own because then they have all the power and I don't like that. No I would like I would be down to be like you sell your place and I'll sell my place and then we'll get a place and it'll be our place. But I don't or you can move into my house but I'm not gonna move into your house.

SPEAKER_06 39:30

I mean I'm not great at compromise because I haven't had I know I was actually just thinking about this and I'm like yeah no I haven't had to I it's been whatever I've wanted for like a very long time. Yeah because like Johnny Bravo just followed my ass around so it was paid for everything so whatever I say went.

SPEAKER_03 39:47

Anyways um and like when me and Cowardly Lion were together I did everything I did I went to his place all the time and it sucked and I hated it and I did it because I was like I remember I'm like why do you do that? Even with Lemon I I had to be like I have to go and stay the night at his house because he always comes and stays the night here and I know that that's not fair. Okay but that was the only reason why I went was for fairness not because I wanted to I always stay over at the boyfriend's house.

SPEAKER_06 40:15

He's never stayed over here at Center. I kind of thought that but I get 'cause like he wakes up really early though.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

I think it does a lot of different things.

SPEAKER_06 40:23

And like what would you do just like it's different when you have stuff.

SPEAKER_03 40:28

Like you know what I mean? Like that's why it was more irritating that I did all the things because I would work until 10 30 at night and then would still drive all the way over to his house to bring him food, which he would then eat and fall asleep. And then I'm just like, now what? Do I drive home? Do I stay here? I work at six o'clock in the morning. Yeah. You know? Like I it's just nah.

SPEAKER_05 40:52

I'm good. Yeah. Sorry, I shouldn't have taken a bite. No ASMR. That's that good sourdough crunch. Um that wasn't even against the microphone. No, that was good too. Uh so yeah. I think that's like I wonder if it's gonna keep going down. Do you think marriage rates will keep going down here? Yes. Maybe not.

SPEAKER_06 41:16

Maybe they'll like go back up. Who knows?

SPEAKER_03 41:18

There's kind of been a weird shift where things are kind of rebounding a little bit. And I feel like we're not gonna get into political stuff.

SPEAKER_06 41:29

But mostly because I'm so far out of politics, I have no have nothing to add. It would be you.

SPEAKER_03 41:36

And I'll go off.

SPEAKER_06 41:37

So we're just not we're not the same. One of us has no idea about anything, and one is way overinvested. Like this.

SPEAKER_03 41:49

And you'd be like, please let me go.

SPEAKER_06 41:51

Like I'm being held hostage, hell.

SPEAKER_03 41:53

Like, let me explain to you what's going on and why this is good and why this is bad, and blah blah blah, and how this links to this, and how people are corrupt, and let yeah, we're not gonna. I'll go down a rabbit hole for days. It'll be bad. So, but I will say I do think there has been a kick up in traditional values again due to certain political things that have occurred. And so maybe due to that, maybe it's like a pendulum, right? Like we were way over here, and then it swung way over here, and maybe it'll level out a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 42:22

Maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 42:25

All I know is that at this point, like I'm looking for like a mi possibly two-time divorce A.

SPEAKER_06 42:33

I know that's another thing. Like, you does it kind of like if you get married and that person's already been married before several times, as you say, um, or once it doesn't really matter before it doesn't it kind of like make you feel like it loses maybe it's not as special. I don't know. I always wonder that.

SPEAKER_03 42:53

I know I always wonder that too. Like, my mom got married five times. Five times. And it's like they know they know that she's like that's not a red flag, that's not a deterrent.

SPEAKER_06 43:03

I'm surprised that she found five men to marry.

SPEAKER_03 43:06

Do you know how offensive that is to me? I know. I'm like they were just like that is where my general hate for when people get married comes from.

SPEAKER_06 43:13

Is like like Did she just always have one right after the other?

SPEAKER_03 43:17

Um, pretty much. I can't think of it.

SPEAKER_06 43:20

Was your mom like a fox? Was she pretty?

SPEAKER_03 43:24

Apparently she used to be. Um, not in my vivid memories of her, but I know that like when she was younger, and when we were younger, she was. And then Did she party? Always, up until the end. Yeah. Yeah. So she just didn't take care of herself. Okay, so I feel like she let herself go.

SPEAKER_06 43:42

So here's the thing. I feel like people that like party or drink a lot find other people that do that same thing, and it's easier for them to get married because they do the kinds of things together. Like, you would not be with someone who went out and drank every night or did certain things, but like it's easier for two people. Was her husband kind of into that too?

SPEAKER_03 43:56

Okay, so see, they just like support each other in the fucking code word to not call the cops on each other when they were physically beating each other up. Okay, so see do let them have their marriages. Let them have those marriages, yes. Um but unlike now in the dating world, is you having past marriages like is how do you even take that? Is that a red flag? Is that not a red flag? It's not like a when did you get married? How long were you married? I also feel like how did it end? Do you want to again? Because you Do you want to again? That's very What would it look like that?

SPEAKER_06 44:28

And you also should ask someone like, what would that look like? What does marriage look like to you?

SPEAKER_03 44:32

Yeah. I think to have a good relationship.

SPEAKER_06 44:35

You need to figure out what someone like wants. Because you I don't think you ask those questions. That would help you weed out in the beginning.

SPEAKER_03 44:42

Well, there were Hawaii. Do you remember Hawaii? Very short-lived stint, does not go on my permanent record less than thirty or less than 90 days. Um, but I told that person literally on the second date, I was like, I do not want kids. If that is a deal breaker for you, like this is done right now. And it was a deal breaker, so he was like, Okay, thanks for letting me know. I was like, Yeah, easy peasy, second date, I'm out, right? And then he came back and he pursued me, saying, I've thought about it, it's not that big of a deal. I'd rather see where this goes, and blah blah blah, and I should have fucking known better, but I still was like, okay, if you're sure, because I'm not changing my fucking mind, like I do not want kids. And then we dated for like six weeks or whatever, and then all of a sudden, me not wanting kids was a problem again. And I'm like, what the fuck, dude? So, like, you gotta be really careful and like listen to what people say and believe them the first time and all that stuff. But like, I feel like I lay out there what I'm looking for in the beginning, and then I kind of leave it to them on like if this is also what you're looking for, then great. But I think you're right, like, I don't necessarily deep dive into but then they lie, so there's that too.

SPEAKER_06 45:54

This is the truth, you kind of have to just watch like patterns and behaviors, and also I feel like in the beginning, there's a lot of effort put forth, there's a lot of things that are just like more so, and then later on, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 46:08

That's why the 90 days, yes, because like because you can't maintain that if that's not how you really are for that long. Like eventually it's gonna crack.

SPEAKER_06 46:16

Do you feel like one that could there can be like levels to it and like maybe more, sometimes less other, or do you feel like once it starts to decline, it's just like on the decline?

SPEAKER_03 46:27

No, I definitely think that things ebb and flow. And I think that's part of the reason why divorce rates are so high is because people don't ride things out. Oh, are you I just want to call myself out right now. Do it, do it.

SPEAKER_06 46:42

I'm just always the first one to be like, I'm doing to jump. I'm like, Lacey, do I jump ship? She's like, no, calm the fuck down.

SPEAKER_03 46:48

Yes, that is your instant instant reaction to everything. Do I jump ship? Do I do I in this now? No. What are you trying to no? You have to ride things out. You have to let because it's not gonna be perfect all the time. It can't be perfect all the time. There are gonna be, there's things like the seven-year itch and blah blah blah, whatever these for a reason because shit gets fucking hard. It is hard to spend that much time with another human being, regardless of what your relationship is with them. It is hard to spend that much time with your children without it eventually blowing up in your face. It is that hard to spend that much time with your friend without that eventually blowing up in your face. You have to ride the ebbs and flows. The problem is so many people jump ship when it gets hard and they don't, you know, take it to the other side and then realize, oh, like that was just a fucking storm, and then we're good. My problem is I can't I hold on to that philosophy too hard.

SPEAKER_06 47:42

Do you strap yourself down to a roller coaster that never ending? We're going for a ride. Never ending ride.

SPEAKER_03 47:51

My problem is I hold I just hold on to that philosophy too hard. And then like even when it's very clear at this point, like there's literally a waterfall and you don't know how to swim.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

And I'm like, I got that.

SPEAKER_03 48:02

It's fine, it'll be better on the other side, and then it's like Emperor's new group, sharp rocks at the bottom, bring it on. That's how it that's how I am in relationships. So on one side it's good because I know to at least not jump when it every time it gets hard, but then that backfires because I don't jump at all. And then you are the exact opposite. And you're like, do I go? Do I go? Do I go? Do I go?

SPEAKER_06 48:32

I'm like, wait, do I jump now? Do I jump now? No, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 48:35

Now should I jump? Do I jump? Do I jump? Is it now? Is it now? Now. Are you gonna tell me when?

SPEAKER_06 48:42

Do I just go? I feel like I should have gone by now. I feel like I missed my chance.

SPEAKER_03 48:49

Honestly, between you and Janessa, I spend a third of my time talking someone off a list.

SPEAKER_06 48:56

Hers is- Well, I'm doing really good about it.

SPEAKER_03 48:59

Yours is do I jump ship from the relationship, and hers is do I jump ship from the business? And I'm just like, both no. No, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_06 49:08

Actually, I'm getting really good about just like Lacey and you're and then I explain, and you're just like I just wait for you to get there. And then I'm like, I'm gonna stop talking now. Better than before. Like years ago, when I'm like, guess what? I just blew the fuck up. You're like, sir.

SPEAKER_03 49:20

100%. At least now you're reaching out for two. I'm like, guess what I did if you're why?

SPEAKER_01 49:27

I'm like aren't you proud? I blew up all that shit. And I'm jumping ship way earlier.

SPEAKER_03 49:34

Look, the decline. I went nine years. So proud. Two and a half years, 15 months. It's going down. Yeah, the last one didn't even get like you didn't even make it out of the trial period. Lemon didn't. No, he didn't.

SPEAKER_06 49:50

Oh, he was so close yet so far.

SPEAKER_03 49:52

He was a month off. That's not even close.

SPEAKER_02 49:55

Close is like three days.

SPEAKER_06 49:57

I feel like that one lasted a long time. You're like, that felt long. It really did. From the moment I said, eh, I don't know, proceed with caution. And then I said, no. No. Seemed like it was a long time. It could kind of feel like a long time.

SPEAKER_02 50:14

I'm like, a lot happened in a little bit of time.

SPEAKER_06 50:16

Well, the fact that I'm like, no one recreationally does mushrooms, Lacey. Number one. People do not wake up and just take mushrooms. Not micro. A handful is not a micro drink. No, you don't. Okay. No one might, yeah. No one eats mushrooms all day, psychedelic mushrooms on a regular basis. Unless they're who wants to be like that? Who just loves the feeling of being perma? When you have responsibilities, you're going to be around your children.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

No.

SPEAKER_06 50:42

You're going to drive. Don't say anything.

SPEAKER_02 50:48

Curbs and burritos. I'm going to make you a shirt that just says curbs and burritos. And no one else is going to be like Strangers are going to be like, what the fuck does that mean? Oh curbs and burrito.

SPEAKER_06 51:02

Are you stimming or is that from something?

SPEAKER_02 51:06

That's from you, bitch. That's from me.

SPEAKER_06 51:11

Oh, so a stim. Um that's what you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 51:17

Are you stimming or is that from something?

SPEAKER_06 51:22

But literally, I'll just start checking instead of just being like.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

Oh yeah, that's so fair. Do it. Do it because then I'm gonna know what you know and what you don't know. Versus me just fucking being myself, and you're just like, that's my friend. She's special.

SPEAKER_06 51:38

I love you.

unknown 51:39

I love you.

SPEAKER_06 51:40

So are we gonna get married on that topic? No.

SPEAKER_02 51:43

No. That was is that why you wanted to talk about marriage for the podcast today? You had it all planned.

SPEAKER_03 51:50

You're like, we'll just talk about it and reinforce to her how she still wants to, and then I'm just gonna spring it on her at the end.

SPEAKER_06 51:57

I know the problem is that I don't have a penis.

SPEAKER_03 52:00

I mean, honestly, that's not that big of a problem.

SPEAKER_06 52:03

Oh, apparently we can you can door it.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

So you can Walmart it. It's fine. That is. If you heard our last episode very minimal problem.

SPEAKER_06 52:13

No, uh, sex toys are readily within an hour you can have condoms. Well, that's I I believe you should be able to have condoms delivered to your dwarf within an hour. That's absolutely good. That's good. But lube shirt, that's fine. But now you can get full-on pocket pussies and dildos. All the things. I didn't realize they carried those.

SPEAKER_03 52:30

I didn't either. They're locked up. You have to get a thing.

SPEAKER_06 52:35

Which makes me curious as to how many people are stealing them, and then they get caught, and it's like, here you go.

SPEAKER_03 52:47

Oh god. I'm dying. So going for it, wait, do you do background checks?

SPEAKER_06 52:55

I fell for like a romance scam. Fucking Johnny Bravo, the endgame. No! That movie that I have to tell you about that I sent to you and now it's taken off Apple TV and I've looked for it. It was on Apple TV. It's called Deep Deception, where these girls, these women in Britain somewhere, they five, this is British. It's British, so it's like, I don't know where. I'm like, I don't fucking know. She they said a Brit, it was a Britain documentary. I don't even fucking know. Quit laughing at me. Okay, anyways. Can you can I tell my story? I'm listening.

SPEAKER_02 53:24

I'm trying to. You're not going anywhere.

unknown 53:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 53:30

You are still at the fucking start.

SPEAKER_06 53:32

So five women all fall for five these the spies, I guess, were like implanted to spy on them and their families by falling in love with these women. Some of them got married to them, some of them had children with them, and then all five like bounce out by leaving the same kind of letter. They were planted there by the government to spy on them. There's a whole it's a book, and then it came out in a documentary, it's been taken off of Apple TV. And you can't watch it anywhere now.

SPEAKER_03 54:00

That's weird.

SPEAKER_06 54:01

Hold on. I have Like it's a real life thing, and it's a real book too. But they took it off. It's so fucking weird. I will show you. Here we'll play the little preview.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

Sometimes having children with them and living under a name of a dead baby. I think I just said it was talked about in this documentary I just watched. If you don't talk about the following always, I mean to watch it. What the fuck did I just talk about? This document deep deception and follows the story of five women who I thought that they had met the men of their dreams. But all of them have really similar stories. Like that the men didn't have any family to introduce them to, even though they were dating for like five years. Some of the men left a long, almost like creepily similar letter when they left. Another woman, when her boyfriend goes on a hike, she finds his passport and it doesn't have the same name, so she snoops through his phone and like finds all these crazy emails. It's a UK police scandal. And I cannot believe that this is a good idea.

SPEAKER_06 55:21

And now it's it was crazy. You can search it and it says it's on Apple TV. You click and it says content unavailable. Weird. And it was on Apple TV for several hours and has sent it. Yes, and was taken down. And now you cannot find it anywhere.

SPEAKER_05 55:36

Well, and the UK government okay, we said I'm not gonna get political. I'm gonna stop.

SPEAKER_02 55:40

But is it that crazy? But they're not good right now. I'm just gonna say they're not good.

SPEAKER_06 55:43

So, but it is a book. So if you can find the book and buy it, and then they created a documentary on it. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, one woman found out. She went to the.

SPEAKER_03 55:51

See, we're so anyways. How am I ever gonna find someone?

SPEAKER_06 55:56

Well, California, you found him.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

It's just the logistics.

SPEAKER_06 56:00

So I I agree we should find that for you. Okay, so listeners, besties, rally around. We need to get California.

SPEAKER_03 56:10

It's not that deep.

SPEAKER_06 56:11

It's that deep.

SPEAKER_03 56:12

I'm okay. I'm okay. It is fun to tell him all the time, though, that we're gonna get married because he never wants pushes back. He just thinks.

SPEAKER_06 56:20

You don't like it when I say we're getting married.

SPEAKER_03 56:22

No, I don't.

SPEAKER_02 56:23

I tell you no. See, that's why I'm like, it's fun, because he doesn't do what I do to you. So I know it's different.

SPEAKER_05 56:32

Oh, in all honesty, I am just joking, but but the answer is still no.

SPEAKER_06 56:38

Until next time. Bye, guys.