Bring A Gallon Of Milk And Do The Dishes

Foreplay isn’t a single move. It’s the whole build, and when two people define it differently, everything downstream gets tense fast. We start with our usual real-life chaos and a ridiculous milk-as-a-meal moment, then shift into something more vulnerable: a family cancer update, the long drag of court delays, and what it feels like to finally be far enough removed from a bad situation to breathe again. 

From there, we get honest about sex, libido, and why desire can disappear when the environment is wrong. We unpack the core mismatch we see everywhere: many men treat foreplay as physical warm-up, while many women experience arousal as emotional intimacy first, physical touch second. We talk orgasm reality, clitoral stimulation, confidence, and why getting defensive when your partner gives feedback is a guaranteed turn-off. We also call out porn myths and how “camera angles” have nothing to do with actual pleasure, consent, comfort, or connection. 

To make it practical, we play a quick round of “foreplay or fake play” with everyday examples like flirty texts, chores, back rubs that turn into pressure, and what a real date night signals. The big takeaway is simple relationship advice that works: communicate your needs, learn your own body, and actively listen to your partner so desire can grow instead of being demanded. If you like honest conversations about foreplay, sexual desire, emotional connection, and building a healthier sex life, hit subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave us a review.

-

Transcript

ERR

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Same. I am Lacey.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

I am Heather. Hi. Hey. How are you? Good. That was a drastic like from us just laughing a minute ago to like. We're like, hi, it's us.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

It's us. We're here. Energy level at about 60.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Yeah. We're we're struggling, but we're here. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

At least you're drinking coffee. That's good. Yeah, you left your energy drink, it's in the fridge. Because I needed to finish my current beverage before I started.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Hold on, I'm gonna take a picture of you. And then you can let everyone know what you're drinking, and I'm taking a picture of it because it's hilarious. I was like, oh, did you get a new Stanley? It's it's the size of a Stanley.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

It's an Arctic.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Because it has a ceramic center instead of a metal one, so I don't have the metallic taste because I have sensitive taste buds.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

And you never shared what you're drinking.

unknown 1:30

I'm drinking milk.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

30 ounces of 2% milk.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

30 ounces of 2% milk.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

She took a drink out of a straw and it turned white, and I was like, oh yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah, it's delicious.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

I love it. I also brought this full of milk to Bunko.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

It's like what's in your cup?

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Bring your own beverage type of event.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Um chime in. Have you ever seen anyone bring their own milk to an event? In fact, 30 ounces of milk. I don't know if I've seen anyone drink 30 ounces of milk at a time, let alone in one day. I use it as a meal.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

I use it as a meal replacement. So I didn't eat breakfast, so I get to drink my ounces.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Milk does turn to a solid in your stomach, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 2:22

It fills me up. It makes me not hungry anymore.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Because it's 30 ounces of a solid.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Listen, there's protein and vitamin D. And milk is healthy for you.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

There was a whole What is the nutritional breakdown of 30 ounces of 2% milk?

SPEAKER_00 2:40

If that comes back and be like, don't ever drink that much at one time, I'm gonna be distraught because I'm not gonna stop. It's delicious. The amount of milk my family goes through is insane. We go through a lot of milk.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Give me a second, I'm finding it.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

Oh, she's still looking it up. She's determined to shame me publicly for my milk.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

I'm not shaming you. I'm curious as to how much protein is in there.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

Oh yeah, there's a decent amount. There should be. After 30 ounces of anything that has protein in it, it should be pretty decent fat.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

There's only 30 grams of protein in that. Only 30? 30 is great. You can get 30 in a much smaller size, but only 18 grams of fat, 43.9 grams of carbs, 458 calories. So it is a whole meal.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

It's a meal replacement. Stop shaming me.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

I was not shaming you. I was curious because I have never actually looked up the amount.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

I love me a macro breakdown. It only has like 20 to 30 grams of protein in it. 30 grams of protein in like 12 ounces.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Usually, like maybe six carbs.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

No fat. Yes. We don't make the same type of protein shake.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

Or like one gram. What kind of shakes are you drinking? The mass gainer ones? No. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

No, I uh what? I still have some of my Thrive protein from That's probably bad. That's why you don't like it.

SPEAKER_01 4:16

It's like 10 years old. I found the problem.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

I also have some of the Huel.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

Huel? Like you were gonna hurl.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

I'm assuming that's how it's pronounced. It's H-U-E-L.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Yeah, I saw it and I'm like, that looks so much like hurl. Like the marketing on that was not good. Like that's where my brain instantly goes to. Like you're gonna hurl after drinking Huel.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

I have good thing we're not huge because that's a lawsuit.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

I mean you're marketing. That's where my that is freedom of speech. My brain needs the association. Again, you're gonna he hurl from our fuel.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

I don't I bought like four bags of like food. We were supposed to just like add water and microwave it. And I was like, I'm gonna eat so healthy because it's all about nutrients. It's not about taste, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

So you're giving me shit for my oatmeal.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

I ate one fucking meal out of the four bags, and I was like, this is disgusting. I knew I was like, that sounds disgusting because it's like it's like emergency food at this point. Like, if we lost all of our shit, I could boil some water on my fire pit and I could have food. So now it's just like my zombie apocalypse preparation plant.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

I'm gonna put this up here. The fact that you were gonna eat those dehydrated.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

I really sometimes think that I'm gonna make the marketing on the thing.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

I thought the marketing sucked and they got you. Hook, a line, and sinker.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

No, you know what it is? I do this a lot. I will buy like when they anything, pretty much, if they have like a special, like a promotional bundle to try multiple items of their product to see if you like their product. That's what gets me. I have done it with the like any of it. Any anything where you're like, I did it with the protein cookie dough. If I can get a deal where I can try multiple things to see if I like your product, I will buy it.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Okay, I have a solution for you.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

Any how many of those have I continued past the initial?

SPEAKER_01 6:34

I could save you so much money. Come with me to Hardcore Supplements. I will tell you everything that you need to get, and it's all gonna be good.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

The only thing that I ever did that I really loved, but I had to stop doing because of the financial aspect of it, was there was a place it's not even open anymore called Lean Kitchen in Queerlaine, and they would do a meal prepare. But the nice thing about it was I didn't have to eat the same thing for the week because they had 10 options a week for me to choose from. So I could pick one of each, so I still got my variety, but I and I didn't have to cook it, and it was so worth it, and I loved it, and I had great meals with perfect macros and all the things, but it was expensive. Something there isn't open anymore.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

Well, because you it's not sustainable, you need to find someone. There are people that uh do local um I couldn't afford that either.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

But I love the concept, I love that that's a service that people offer. I think that's incredible. Keep doing that because that's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Um all right, so now that we're on that and all we decided that look what happened.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Oh, because I drank milk today.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

That was hilarious, though. That was a funny little rabbit hole. Um so now Pearl, we know you're um Hewell. Your marketing works on autistic people. Not so much on us with ADHD. But you got it with the TISM. The TISM folk. You found your niche.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

Oh my god, I wonder if other autistic people have that fault too.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

I please text us.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

I wanna know. Is it just me? It might just be me. I don't know. But it get the guess, I I do it all the time. All the things. Because there's a spectrum specifically designed for people like me. That and Facebook marketing.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

I want to get a genetic breakdown of you and see what's really going on. I'm like real fascinated.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

I uh I want to get one of those like full body scans.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

To tell you what?

SPEAKER_00 8:34

To tell me everything that they could possibly tell me about. No, there's a place I have it saved. Like I'm gonna do this someday, but it's a lot of money. Um, it's called hold on, pre-nuve. It's like a full-on, they do blood tests, MRI, all the things, like full body muscular nerves, all of it. They scan all of it, but it's like$4,000. I'm assuming insurance says no. Right. No, this is fully out of pocket if I were to do it, but I want to do it. It's a whole body scan, brain health assessment, body composition analysis.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Like something you don't want to know.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Executive panel on your blood, six-month comprehensive panel, plus a follow-up and a six-month like or consultation with the provider to go over your results and the six-month follow-up. I want to know. I want to know how much damage how much damage does my ankle have because I sprain it all the time. There's no ankle left. I know it's crunchy when I move it, and I'm like, I don't think it's supposed to. My other ankle is not crunchy when I move it. So I just want to know all the things.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Doesn't sound good. Okay. So on that note, we'll talk about the. I know we keep getting off topic. No, we're just doing our little catch-up right now. Okay. We do sidracks, side quests, cul-de-sac. We do side cul-de-sac. I love it when it's a side quest.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Because that makes my nerd heart happy.

SPEAKER_01 9:57

I know. I just when I s okay. All I imagine is us in Zelda when I think side quest.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

I love that that's your point of reference. That's a great game.

SPEAKER_01 10:07

Yes. My brother played it a lot. Um, and so I did by default. Okay, so little catch up. We've been last week. We talked to everybody last week. Um, told them about mom. Oh, yeah. Cancer. So cancer came back stage two.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

So it is officially cancer. I don't I last time we were still waiting for the result.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

You have the thing I sent it to you as well. I don't know the name of it. It's like a pretty generalized Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

I so I don't know I if it's MUCE.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

That's the variant of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

So there's like a Y I love that I just said mu and you're like, I know what you're trying to pronounce.

SPEAKER_01 10:45

Okay, so we can just dumb it down. So it is a general cancer that's like kind of common, and then the subtype is a type that produces mucus, which is why it's like called muth or whatever it is. Um, so yes, it is a kind that also is reoccurring. So there's three, we're doing three, there's just three different treatment options at this point, which we meet with her medical oncologist next week, and we'll know more. So there's like chemotherapy, radiation, and this really cool surgery that I'm like, can we do that? So it's like robotic surgery again.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Another surgery?

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Yes, but listen, it's so cool. So instead of doing like chemo throughout your entire body, it goes in and does the robotic surgery, so just the little incisions and it flushes that area where the tumor was with chemo. So it's like a it's called high-pec, I think, H-I-P-E-C, and it like basically is a chemo bath in that area, like a heated chemo bath in the area for 90 minutes, and then she's like sewn back up and good to go.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Just one and done versus having to do it.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

I have no idea. I will ask, but that's what uh her surgeon seemed to think. And I was like, how cool to just have the chemo right there and she instead of having to go through your whole but the thing she did mention, so another question I have to ask the medical oncologist, um, because the type of cancer is not specific to colon, it's a kind that's found throughout your entire body. Yep. So that's why I'm like, dude, are they doing it to treat everything? But they did take a bunch of lymph nodes, 31, and they all came back clear.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Good. So right now it's very isolated to the area. To that.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

And they did already mark her off in the area, so even if they're doing radiation or they're doing the high-pec thing, she's already good to go there. Good. So they uh they did take her a lot of her abdominal wall and all those margins came back clear. So they took a lot of extra to make sure they got all that.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

That it wasn't sprouting.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Yes, because she was living with her best friend for a very long time.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Is that what we're referring to the tumor now? Is her best friend?

unknown 12:39

Is that happening?

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Or her friend of me? What are we gonna call it? Well, she was carting that thing around like it was her best friend.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

We all went everywhere together. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

She's protecting it, didn't want it to go. I mean, now she wanted it out once she realized how intrusive it was.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Oh my god, that's hilarious. I'm like the same. Her tumor single white female. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

But we got that bitch out. She gone. She gone. I saw pictures of it. It was really big. I need to show you pictures.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Yeah, I have not seen that. I don't know if I want to see that.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

It's like a big tumor, and then like you can see the abdominal cave stuff too. It's really big. I was like, you know how like they threw put like the medical ruler out?

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

It was like more than two of the triangle. Well, they're like 15 centimeters, because you know, usually like the little it's like 15 centimeters. Yeah, they're not very big. No, because they assume what's in your body is not gonna be. It was like double two lengths, and it was like the width was over one. But just like looking at them like, oh my god, that's a lot bigger than anticipated. So now she's feeling much better. Yeah, she looks way better. It's just blood now, too. She has like blood too. That's kind of important. It's kind of a big one. Yeah, good dig well, she has half of a digestive system, but it's working good.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

So, in and moving and doing all the things. That's what matters, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Yes, and doing all the things. So next step. So that one, and then this is like kind of just a game of like next appointment, next appointment. But I'm fine with that.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Speaking of next appointment, next appointment, next court date, next court date.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Oh, yes, we'll bring that up. Um, yes, that's like April 27th. We won't be here.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

Assuming that'll be changed again.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Like, yeah, it just keeps getting pushed. Yes. So now when you look up Jordan, can I say the whole name?

SPEAKER_00 14:24

Because yeah, it's like it's public knowledge.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Also, I keep getting a lot of like I can't think of a single person at this point who doesn't Jordan Harold Felgenhauer. Oh, you have a middle name. You're like, in case there's any fucking doubt, not like that's a common name.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Well, I also have gotten a couple phone calls now and several text messages of collectors calling for him. I'm like, what the fuck is a scam? And then it's like I'm like, oh it's another bill collector. I'm like, you I don't fucking take me off your list. So yes. Um, but he was evicted from his apartment for not paying rent from November.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

From since November.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

How do you just like not pay your rent?

SPEAKER_00 15:03

Well, because he doesn't have your stuff to sell anymore. Oh, so he ran out of money, honey. Like, why don't you just get another job? Because he probably can't.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

I mean, at this point when you do criminal activity.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

He yeah, although I will say background checks don't don't pull up anything that's ongoing. They only pull up if you've been convicted. And I know that because um back when I used to work on site forever ago. No, you can have pending charges and it won't pull on a background check because it's innocent until proven guilty. And I know that because we I was training and we had a girl who was in training, which means she passed the background check to get hired by her company, and then two detectives showed up and arrested her for identity theft. Like they already had filed the charges and they couldn't find her. They found her because we submitted her employment. That's how, like, they'd been looking for her for months. She had a warrant for arrest and all the things, but it didn't come up on the background check, and we asked about it. We're like, what the fuck? Why, if she had an active warrant, why is that not coming up? And they're like, that's not what it checks for.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

That's wild.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

I know. Innocent until proven guilty.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Not in the court of public opinion, but I bet pretty soon he's gonna be a felon.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

So yeah, I can't wait.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

I'm literally this gives me zero zero hope I will ever get reimbursement for anything. You're not gonna, he can't even pay his rent. So what do they call homeless people now? Because you can't call them homeless. Unhomes. Unhoused unhappy unhoused individuals. Unhoused.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

That's I don't get that. I don't get all of these crazy, like, we're gonna call it something different than what it is. I don't get it. I don't get it.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Yeah, so there's that. That's um, that's about that's about it.

SPEAKER_00 16:52

It's just karma playing out since the courts are taking so long.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

And I'm so far removed from it. I am very glad that I wrote my victim's impact statement time of. Because I have like washed myself of that part of my life.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

I'm so I do think that once the court is over though, like that's gonna provide a sense of closure that like you just haven't really gotta have. You know what I mean? Like, just because I'll be done, done. Yeah, you'll be done. I won't have to think about it. You won't have to worry about are you gonna be called to testify? Which is very real possibility. Yeah, you know, so yep.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Oh, my mom is listed in there too as like a victim, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

Yeah, well, because his dad tried to like intimidate her. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

Like, oh my god. We're just so crazy.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

And I'm like, how does it feel to have a loser for a child? Like just a straight up adult loser.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

But have you noticed there's not a lot of time?

SPEAKER_01 17:47

I would be very, very. I don't know if this is gonna be a controversial statement.

SPEAKER_00 17:54

But listen, how many shitty people do you know that have great parents? You know what I'm saying? I don't, there's not. I mean, uh not I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

I'm just saying I mean you can turn out any way you are because of the way you know, you can turn out any way.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Yes, you can have shit parents and turn out great, but can you have great parents and turn out shit? I have not seen I mean probably, but I I think that that would be that would be the exception, not the norm.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yes. Because I'm sure obviously there are those in the beaches.

SPEAKER_00 18:26

The fact that he's shitty and his parents are shitty is not crazy surprising. That's all I'm saying. Yes, okay, I concur. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like, oh, shocker, your piece of shit son also has piece of shit parents. Could I would have bet on it in Vegas. That's all I was like.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

When you don't hold your child accountable and you like coddle them and you don't let them be like responsible. People they become non-responsible adults.

SPEAKER_00 18:52

It's so weird to me that people are comfortable with people not ever feeling consequences for their actions, like, and then still expecting them to be decent human beings.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

Like I want to know in like what realm that you actually thought that stealing from a widow, like stealing her wedding ring, stealing her shoes while like pretending to be in a relationship and all that, like stealing all my stuff. Basically, whenever I was around, he was like taking things. Anything that was like worth a value, he was taking and pawning. I just on top of other things. Like, anyways, we're moving on from that. We are, we're moving on because now he's unhomed. Unhoused. I like unhomed. It sounds like a dog.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

You're unhomed. That's a stray, and that also applies. I know. I'm like, it tracks what people call it.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

He's a stray. I'm dead looking for a new home. Oh god. This is hilarious. Oh man. It makes me feel like amazing about like, you know what? Like, no matter what, like it's I will always be fine.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

You know what? I think there's a part of healing where you go from you used to be embarrassed to like you're just so above it. You know what I mean? You're like, yeah, that happened, but like we don't. We don't talk about that anymore.

SPEAKER_01 20:13

No, like I was stupid, okay. One point in time, but I learned real quick. We're all done. I, you know, was in a great marriage for a very, very long time and just believed the things that were sold to me. And once you're in it, it's hard to like anyways. If you want more reference, go back to our earlier episodes featuring Johnny Bravo. Um, yeah. Moving on. And that brings us to that does not bring us to our topic. Does it? No. Does it? That is not.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

I want to know how it does, because that's funny. Was it?

SPEAKER_01 20:49

Oh, no. There was never any sort of foreplay ever.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

He had a micro penis, too, and it was do you not remember me talking about, but you just dove in without even saying the topic is foreplay.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

I thought that I became an asexual person in that relationship, and I thought sex was just like never gonna be had again, and that was fine. You like get over it, you know what I mean? Like you just there's no desire anymore, especially all the mental and all the other things that were going on, the zero sex drive. Okay, here we go. You know what's crazy?

SPEAKER_00 21:20

No, but that's that's an important call-out that you have because I I think people talk about sex drive a lot in regards to like age, but people forget that sex drive can change very quickly depending on circumstance and environment. Like, I can go and have and not have sex for years and be fine if I'm not getting what I want. But if I'm getting decent sex, I'm gonna want sex. You know what I mean? Your drive is gonna go up because it's good and desirable or whatever, you know. But if it's bad or if you're just not getting it anyway, eventually your drive dries up. Like that's just how that happens. So foreplay is important because if you're not making it desirable, I'm not gonna want it.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Exactly. And we will touch on all the different kinds, but our topic and the question that we are diving into is why do so many couples have completely different expectations? And we can even go, it doesn't have to be couples, it can just be men and women. Yeah. Why do men and women, but if you're in a relationship, maybe if you have not had the right communication or it's not working, maybe you'll find out why. Well, and I think so Because I hot take men and women have completely different ideas about what that is.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

About what counts as foreplay?

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yes. Or what it is. Well, no, like like a man's idea versus a woman's idea.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

So uh for women, we're very much more mental. So start, yes. And then some physical, yes. But for men, I think that they completely forget about the come any mental and they're just like the physical.

SPEAKER_00 22:53

It's the physical part. They the like their definition of foreplay is like, oh, I grabbed your tits, oh we made out, oh I went down on you, or you went down on me. And like, yes, but that's you asked them to make a list.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Oh, should we ask right now? Let's find out. I bet you there's a statistic on if you ask men and women what foreplay is, what they say. I mean, sure. Okay, you keep going, I'm gonna find out.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Okay, yeah, but I I mean I do think that it's it's more on the physical sense from a guy's perspective. And for the girl, like I said, it's more like it's the buildup. Yes, it is physical. Like, of course, you know, I love making out. I love it if it's good, and it can turn me on if it's good. But also like the the date beforehand, the level of effort someone has put in, the making me feel special, the like the communication, like the the rest of the relationship elements outside of the physical to me is where the four plays starts. Like, if you plan a date for me without me like knowing, like that instantly is gonna make me want you.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

Yeah, like you have to have all the aspects, the feeling appreciated, emotional connection, feeling desired, effort and intention.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

And and let's be clear, I don't think that you have to have foreplay all the time. It very much depends on the intention of the sexual experience. If you're just hooking up with someone for the sake of hooking up, then I think just the physical aspects of foreplay make sense because that of course is something that's gonna like help in the moment, but it's not gonna matter if it strengthens the bond over time. Whereas if you're like in a relationship, you need both, right? You need right, you need the relationship foreplay in order to strengthen the bond, and like that will allow, in my experience, for girls to open up a lot more. Girls are more willing to do things than boys think that we are, but the reason why it probably comes across that we're not is because we have to build that trust and safety to to explore. Again, in my experience. Well, and they're just like, let's try this, and I'm like, let's get to know each other better first.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

I just feel like we have very differing opinions because I've always been in a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 25:11

Yeah. Fair, and I am out there in the wilds of the dating world, and it's a dangerous, scary place.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

So I've always experienced that with someone eventually. Yeah, not nope.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

I cannot say that that's an average experience that I have. It's very so also when people sometimes find out that you are open to things, they assume that that means with anybody at any time, and then they will aggressively throw you against the wall and try to like choke you and make out with you because they've never had this experience. They think that that's what you want, and you're like, no, no, no, no, I only want that if it's in a loving, trusting relationship, or you know, I have Stockholm syndrome.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

But Okay, she's she's talking about like personal experience here.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

But you know what I'm saying? Like, yes, you can't just assume that like circumstances matter, like it could be hot in one scenario and and not hot in a completely different scenario. It could be hot with one person and not hot with an entirely different person, you know what I mean? And I don't think that boys view it that way. I think it's either hot or it's not to them, and I could be totally wrong, but that's just my impression from personal experiences with dating.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

I do like your hot take on dating and all the all the things. It's I feel like you need to experience a good relationship and then we're gonna have a rediscussion and see how things change.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

That would be an interesting concept. I wouldn't even know how to. It would feel weird and wrong, and I'd probably I feel like you do know how to. Well, I have well, this isn't really it's it's in the making.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

It's elements.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

But to me, this is foreplay. The the conversation back and forth and the the flirty banter, and like that's what makes me want to have sex with this person.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Let me give my statistics that I've been over here holding. Okay, I found them. You found them. Okay, so these are I kind of said like men versus women, is it more physical versus mental? So there's not one single, obviously a statistic, but there's different. So um, there's different patterns and different patterns of sexual desire and how foreplay is experienced. So key men versus women in foreplay, orgasm versus physical stimulation differences. Let's get more into that first. Um, 18% of women say intercourse alone leads to orgasm, where 36% say clitoral stimulation is necessary, and another 36% says it makes orgasm better. This is where you've talked about it before. You need toys, all the things you're gonna do. I have to have extras. Yep. Sorry. There's nothing wrong with that. So um women need more.

SPEAKER_00 28:02

Well, and also men need to know that that's more common than you think that it is because don't take offense. Because I will tell you, nothing will turn me off like faster than you not being confident in the moment. Like you know what I mean? I really yeah, like if you're timid about it, I instantly become insecure and assume that like I'm the problem, and now I don't want to have sex with you anymore. Also, if you're really bad at something and I take the time to try to like tell you what to do or correct you or be like, yo, that's not working for me. Let's try something else. And you say this isn't for you. Has that happened? Yes, with lemon specifically. He was rubbing only my left labia. Like, and I'm like, you're not even close.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Like, you're like I feel so bad for you.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

You know me, I'm shy until I'm not. Yeah, but it was early fact that I stood up for myself because it was going on for like 15 minutes. You're like, I'm like, we're not gonna get anywhere. We're not getting anywhere. Like, you are literally I'm in reverse at this point. I'm literally trying in my brain to be like, how do I get him to stop?

SPEAKER_01 29:24

I've heard this, I think, before, and it's still funnier because I'm just imagining being like, you're not in the I was just like, I can't.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

How does he mix that up? Does he need a new Natami truck?

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Doesn't he have a kid?

SPEAKER_00 29:37

You'd be surprised. I I am surprised how many people are bad at it.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

You are in a pool. Okay, I'm just happy over here, so yeah, she can't relate.

SPEAKER_00 29:49

Apparently. Apparently, this is how we are not the same, because uh let me tell you, that it's not great. They're not great at it. Like, why or why are they not learning that in Sex Head?

unknown 30:02

Didn't they?

SPEAKER_00 30:05

I'm kidding, please. Please don't come for me. But I'm just saying, Andrew, because points of reference are like porn, right? And people don't think about the fact that porn is shot specifically for angles, not pleasure. It is to show you things, but those angles hurt, they don't work. Like, I don't we're not like a huge fan of crooked dicks, like don't purposely try to make it bend. Like, don't that's not they're doing that for the camera shot because they're trying to show both her V and your P at the same time. Like, that's not that's not how it should really be done. Like, don't you notice only part of it goes in in the porns? Like, it's not even like please stop using this as a porn of a point of reference. Like, can't you hear in her voice that it isn't real, that she's not enjoying it? She's like, oh yeah, baby, right there, faster, harder, yay, yum. No, it's not. It's not how if she if your girl sounds like that during sex, you're not doing a good job. You're not, she shouldn't be able to formulate a word.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

I was like, I don't think anything even comes from out.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Sometimes I know sometimes if I get quiet, that's a good sign for you. Sometimes it's not. Look at your face. Read my face is going to tell you. Like, do I look bored? Because I am, because you're doing a bad job. But on the other side of the spectrum, if you're doing a good job and you embarrass me about the fact that I enjoyed it, I will never let you have that happen. Little P. It was his only demeaning quality in the best. And he had a little pee. He ruined it. He ruined it for me.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

Did you turn around with while you have a little P.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

No, because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. To this day, I don't know if he knows that that's what I call it.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

He got me off with his little P?

SPEAKER_00 32:00

No.

SPEAKER_01 32:01

Oh, okay. I'm like, I'm so confused.

SPEAKER_00 32:03

I didn't know we were having sex unless I was on top. Like so, no. No, he was very good at oral sex. Very good at it. And I was like, good for you. Like you redeeming quality. You found your your but then after he got me off, he likes a little leprechaun, because of course he was a redhead, because I have a problem. He lifts his fucking head up between my legs. Visualize. I felt like I've visualized. And then he goes like this. I know what lazy likes. And I'm like, never again. You're never allowed to do that to me now ever again. You ruined it. I am traumatized for you. Thank you. I am glad you understand because it ruined it for me for a long time for like not even justing. Because all I I would just have this mental image. I'm a little bit lazy likes. Oh my god, you ruined it for me. Ruined it.

SPEAKER_01 33:01

Oh my god, I'm also ruined.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

You can't relate. You can't relate. Okay. No. Just me then?

SPEAKER_01 33:06

No, okay. No. Just like it was. I just stopped having sex and with Johnny Bravo. And then you know, currently very and with Luke, obviously you're married for long. It was great.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

I have this like mental image that Johnny Bravo was just like that was it.

SPEAKER_01 33:28

It was like to he come very quickly.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Was there foreplay or no?

SPEAKER_01 33:33

No, never. Do you not remember we were talking about this? I said he does not even know where the clit is.

SPEAKER_00 33:38

Apparently, a lot of people don't.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

That was like if ever I want to escape. We should look it up in my text. I remember texting you. If ever you want to escape a man, move somewhere and change your name to clit, he'll never find you.

SPEAKER_01 33:53

And then I just gave up because it was like there was no more um our relationship was very back and forth. We were not together a lot, and he was very passive aggressive. He was obviously stealing all my things. He was there's a lot of lies. So there was no mental connection. There was no physical connection. There was no sex.

SPEAKER_00 34:11

It's important.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

So when you have that connection which I'm lucky enough to have, and all yet it's just is different. It's so good.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

Oh, okay, perfect. In all the ways. Like I told you earlier, I'm like, I know. Yeah, she rubs it in because she's having a great sex life, and I am not fact.

SPEAKER_01 34:33

And I am not who she says as she sips on her 30 ounces of milk. I don't know why I can't. I wonder why I can't. You're gonna find your milk loving love.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

No, I don't I don't want them to drink the milk. I want the milk. Uh do you know how much more money I'll have to spend if they also like milk? I just need them to not be embarrassed by me liking the milk. I am dying so much. Buy me milk. That's my form. Joe. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 35:12

I'm joking and dying. Show up with a gallon of milk. One, two percent. Okay, don't. It has to be two percent. Do not spring for the organic shit. She does not spring.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

No, give me the cheap fucking windfall milk.

SPEAKER_01 35:27

I don't even like Derek for you. It was just it was organic.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

Whole milk. It was organic whole milk. I don't think it was whole. Yes, it was.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

It was not thick. Because it's like I think it might have been like the um grass-fed, which like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

It wasn't good.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

I didn't like it. I'm like, it's real. It's actually like real.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

She's like, I went to pasteurized shit.

unknown 35:49

Suck it.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

Okay, I have a real question for you relating to the topic. Okay, we were, yes. Are you even able to give a blow-to-out with your lips?

SPEAKER_01 35:59

No, they don't really like work. And then it like hurts, and then I just think about like Christine telling me not to make that face, and then I just worry about my lips, and then I'm mentally gone.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

It's so funny. I'm I love that you have a built-in excuse to not. Did you enjoy it before?

SPEAKER_01 36:18

No, I hate it. Do you not remember on the podcast like a long time ago? Like I was, I don't know, Luke, me and him were joking around. Do I remember? No. I know you don't. So we had talked about this, and I was like, I really feel bad about like I never like didn't give him a blowjob, right? And like one time he like we were joking, he didn't really pay me for it. Well, he did pay me, but it was like a joke. So he like memo me money, and he's like, and I'm like, thanks. And then I'm like, I'm still not doing that, but I love you. I won't do it. I really wish I would have now. I was like, now I wish I would have given that to him. But yeah, I just it's hard. It doesn't, it feels weird. My lips are like, they just don't even go together, like you know how like you put your lips together for like you rub chapstick on them or something. Mine don't do that. They're just their living life and they're for aesthetic purposes.

SPEAKER_00 37:06

It's which is really funny though, because like men, I've heard so many times they'll look at women with big lips and they'll be like, them dick sucking lips, and it's like, not if they're fake.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Yeah, or they're gonna be lumpy and weird. Could you imagine? It's like, why is your filler all migrated? I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

I participated in an activity and supposed to suck out of a straw.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

Correct, that is true. Yep, I remember for me to hit my vape is like this. Oh, there's special straws that you can.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

And they make special straws now, specifically for yeah, so you just stick it on your lips right here and then suck out of the straw.

SPEAKER_01 37:45

But this, so vape, I go so like I can't even like suck like for two weeks. I'm like nothing. That's so funny. But you have the one that like blows it out for you now. I have that yes, mine broke within a matter of like three days. Mine lasted way longer than yours, but does that mean I smoke a lot or I have an effective one? Um, you find that. Let me finish my statistics really quick so we can just kind of fold sack back around because this so we hit on like the actual stimulation part. So the second, remember, because there was like we were talking about the different um patterns and how sexual desire and foreplay is experienced. So the other way it's experienced is emotional intimacy and desire. So women's sexual desire often begins after emotional intimacy develops, and men's desire is more directly tied to physical arousal. I knew that. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Um I think it goes to love languages too. I think you will find a lot more men have the physical touch towards the top of their love languages than women do for me. Like, we always joke about how I want a lumberjack, but it's because I want like a handyman type. I if you do something for me, oh my god, I'm hot. Instant. You know what I mean? Like, obviously, if I'm interested, let's let's let's add that preface. Like, you can come to my house as a contractor and I'm not gonna instantly hit on you. But if I'm already interested in you and you do something for me, you change out that light.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

This is how the cowardly lion got in.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

That is, because he did my he did my last. I remember saying Lacey no.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

I very vividly being like, Lacey. I was like, did he do it for free? She's like, No, I paid him.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

And I'm like, but I did get a really good deal.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Well, I mean, it wasn't that great of a deal, I feel like, because you got suckered in for a minute into that red face, which is a sign of alcoholism and his freaking liver will probably explode, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 39:31

Is this so round now? And red. Which is ironic because that's his nickname.

SPEAKER_01 39:38

Red? Yeah. I wonder why. Nothing. You have the face of an alcoholic, sir. Go get that checked. Um, not my problem. Preferences for foreplay. Oh, this was the other one. So the emotional intimacy versus desire. Women are responsive desire, so we respond to gross desire grows from connection, where men are spontaneous. But I think it's like when you're in a good relationship with both. Okay. Let me be coughing over here.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

I think that's because girls feel like they need to do like prep. And dudes don't. I wish they would. Yes. Go clean your balls first, please, if you want me to like put them in my mouth. I just common courtesy.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Oh, do you like giving head?

SPEAKER_00 40:19

No. No, but you do it a lot. I'm very good at it. I'm like, you do it a lot. It's a skill that I have somehow inherently just have. Apparently.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

I'm I'm decent enough. I've Okay, what are your what are your cake? What are what do you do that I listen?

SPEAKER_00 40:34

That's all it takes is active listening.

SPEAKER_01 40:37

Active listening skills.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

Active listening skills. If you make a certain noise that like I tells me that you like me doing that thing, I'll do that thing. Like, I just tell me. Tell me what you like. If you want me to put your ball in my mouth, I'll put your ball in my mouth. Am I gonna enjoy it? No, but that it that time isn't for me. That's for you. But that's not there are girls that love it. There are girls that like I don't know why. I I literally don't know why, but they do. And I think there are dudes that don't like to go down on a girl, and I think that that's okay because I think there's other ways that you can do foreplay. There's other do you like it when people play with your nipples? Do you think that you feel them less now that you have implants?

SPEAKER_01 41:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 41:15

Really? I don't uh mine are just the sensitive.

SPEAKER_01 41:17

Mine are under the muscle. That's true. Um, and I've had them done.

SPEAKER_00 41:21

But does that like does that turn you on if a dude is playing with your nipples?

SPEAKER_01 41:25

It depends, yes.

SPEAKER_00 41:26

On if you're attracted to them.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

Yeah, then in the right, yes. Yeah, yes. Don't like sh yeah. I don't know, because he was like, I'm not, I don't approach a lot of sexual situations like as a single person. Like, I mean, like I it's with that person. But I mean like so it kind of like it's not something I want straight out the gate, like I guess. I don't know. I don't know. It's hard for me to be like, yes, it's like I don't speak from a lot of a lot of like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 41:51

I guess for me to be like, you're more shy about yes, I guess I'm very um I'm only shy about things that haven't happened yet. Like I can't talk about possibilities, it makes me very uncomfortable and scary. But like I can talk about things that I've done and it's not weird. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 42:06

I don't know why.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

I just because it's already happened. Like it's I've already moved on from it, so it's whatever.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

Preference foreplay over intercourse. Um women that's hard because I would say my preference is intimacy, which doesn't necessarily know that falls into so it says women report enjoying foreplay and afterplay more than intercourse, and men report enjoying intercourse more than foreplay. Um doesn't mean you dislike it, it's just the primary focus. And then this is interesting. So time needed to reach orgasm, men five to seven minutes, women 14 minutes during partnered sex. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

I was like, I'm way more efficient than that, but that's when it's partnering. It did not say solo. This is like with someone with a partner, then it's that's assuming that you even get it. And that's an average for those who act you know what I mean? Like, mmm.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

So in a relationship for you, when are you when are you hooking up? If you're in a committed relationship, how often are you hooking up?

SPEAKER_00 43:08

How often or like how early in the relationship?

SPEAKER_01 43:11

Like how often? Because you're like, and if you're getting it all the time, so then that leads me to believe like if you it depends on it, it depends on if it's good, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Because like facts, if it's good, I'm down to determining times a week. Like I'm here for it. I thought you were gonna say day. I I don't have time for that. You make time for that. I don't have time for that. Okay, well, that's like assuming that you live with that person though.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

Because like Well, right, as often as you can.

SPEAKER_00 43:37

Like, I there's travel involved, there's you know what I mean? Like, you live out in Rath Drive. So oh, I just doxxed you.

unknown 43:44

Oh well.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Find her, I dare you. Find you, I dare like find her I dare you.

SPEAKER_00 43:49

Unless you want to send me money.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

That happened to you though.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

Yeah, it did. I got an invalid dollars explanation.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

Yeah, I've never had that. No one's ever put a thousand dollars in my ones.

SPEAKER_00 44:03

Comparative to the amount of stuff that you've gotten over time, is what I'm saying. I just got all of my good karma at once. I want to know. I just more want to know. It would eat me alive. I'd want to know who it was. I'm I still don't know. I never found out. Remember, I got a I got for a whole year, I got a present a quarter. I know, and we kept speculating. They never reeled revealed who they were, and it just stopped after a year, and I have no idea who ever did it.

SPEAKER_01 44:28

I have my theories.

SPEAKER_00 44:30

I got nothing. Present yourself. Okay, but no, but Given I'm given the fact that where I am in life, you know, I'm just saying I if I'm enjoying it, yes, I want it. If I'm not enjoying it, I will try everything I can to kind of like get out of it. I will lie. I will say I have a headache when I don't because I don't enjoy it. I'm good. I'm fine. I have my I take care of myself now. I don't feel like I'm way quicker. I'm efficient. Mine is like, oh, I can't fall asleep. Hold on. Let me take care of myself real quick. And then I'll probably be able to sleep now.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

After a glass of milk. Let me have a little nightmare. She's like, let me have a little nightmare. Every time I pick it up to take it, she's like milk. Because I see it going up the straw. I'm sorry, my straw is see-through. It's a really great um visual to all the white stuff going in your mouth after all the things we're talking about. Love that. Okay, so let's get back on topic because we're actually like almost um out of time. Yeah, we're just gonna well we we hit our topic. You're the timekeeper. We hit our topic, and then we're just gonna do um a little segment.

SPEAKER_00 45:55

So Heather's trying to make us be more organized in our podcast, guys.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

We're gonna do a little segment called foreplay or fake play. Okay. So I'm gonna bring up some examples and we're gonna say if they're if it counts as foreplay. Okay. If it's lazy effort or completely missing the point. Got it. I'm here for it. I'm ready. And then we can throw in some of our own examples. Okay. All right. Back rub that turns into an attempt at sex in 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 46:25

That is literally not even trying. We both know I just massaged you for a fucking hour and I got like three minutes. No.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 46:34

No. You it I will tell you no so fast. Like I just said I will lie to get out of it. Luckily, I mean not luckily, but like I have autoimmune disorders in my body. I can blame it on a legitimate excuse that might not be legitimate in the moment. And I'm gonna do that if you try to skate out of it. But let me tell you, if you give me that hour-long back massage, I'm gonna rock your fucking world. You know what I mean? Like, just put in the effort because that's gonna that's gonna be what's turned me on. Also, you know what works really well? Light tickles. Let me show you. This is my favorite thing in all the world. This will work every time. Oh, and you have nails.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_00 47:13

If you just do that like all over my body.

SPEAKER_01 47:16

Oh, done 30 seconds? Yeah. All right. You heard it here first.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

No, you have to do it for more than 30 seconds. Well, you said yes. I was like, I rethought about what you said.

SPEAKER_01 47:24

Oh, all over your entire body.

SPEAKER_00 47:26

Yes, all over.

SPEAKER_01 47:27

An hour.

unknown 47:27

I would love that.

SPEAKER_00 47:29

Put a movie on. You just turned me on so much at the thought of that. Oh god, because it just like it makes me all tingly and all your like senses are heightened from it. And so it makes everything better. I'm gonna feel everything more. Like I'm literally giving you the key to the castle, and then they just don't get it.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

I uh love a good booty rub because my glutes are always so sore. That's fair. But I definitely it lasts longer. As long as I wanted.

SPEAKER_00 48:02

Is it fair that I'm the one that's usually like, okay, I'm you're the one who's all like, that's enough, let's move on. Yes. Well, I mean, if that's I'm like all you have to do, you have to give me an hour of light tickles. You have to give Heather a 30-second butt massage and she's ready to go.

unknown 48:19

It depends.

SPEAKER_01 48:21

It's longer than 30 seconds, though. Definitely like That's funny. It's five minutes. Five minutes.

SPEAKER_00 48:26

Is that because you used to not have a butt and now you have a butt? So now you're like, oh yeah, touch my butt.

SPEAKER_01 48:30

Yes, and I get booty rubs whenever I'm gonna. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

Like, yes. Yes, I love your aunt. Touch it. Touch it.

SPEAKER_01 48:36

Um, okay. Sending flirty texts during the day.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

Yeah, love it. That does it for me. That's why, okay, the the California who I talked to, that's what he does. And it just, you see me, I get I smile, I'm all smitten. I'm uh I'm gonna freaking ravish him when he comes here.

SPEAKER_01 48:50

Literally, literally, yes. Um, no, I like that. It just looks like showing what does not even be touched, just like, or if you you know, see the just having like that uh flirtation.

SPEAKER_00 49:02

Yeah, it keeps it like yes, the little flame of it. You know what I mean? Like, I need to feel desired. I think that's an important part for me. Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 49:13

Doing chores to set the mood. Yeah, oh yeah. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 49:18

You love the dishes.

SPEAKER_01 49:19

I love it.

SPEAKER_00 49:20

Love it. Dude, my dishes, oh yeah. Oh my god, yeah, it's hot. Hot as hell. Like, I'm so easy. You guys see for me, that's like I don't know. You wouldn't care at all. You're you'd be like, oh, that's nice, thank you. Like, did you show me something? I appreciate no.

SPEAKER_01 49:39

I really like physical, like grab me, like kiss me. Like, that's physical time or physical touch, quality time, and gifts are all up there the same. Okay, they're all the same, they're all equally important.

SPEAKER_00 49:52

Is that you you want to ultimately it comes down we both want to feel desired? Yes. It's just we want that shown in different ways. I just have more ways I like it shown, I guess. Mine are easier ways.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Well, I guess physical touch is pretty easy, but yeah, I'm like, okay, miss hour-long massage. I might just rub my butt real good.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

Um I'm just gonna have those right hands on it. I'm just saying what you'll get out of me is gonna be equivalent to what you put into it is all I'm saying. I'll still do it at any level of it. Not the 30 seconds. That's not okay.

SPEAKER_01 50:23

So doing chores for you is actual foreplay. Yep. For me, completely missing the point. Uh, sending flirty text, we decided was actual foreplay for both back rubs, 30 seconds. We just said lazy effort. Um, kissing for 10 seconds and calling it foreplay, lazy effort.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

I think that kissing is so important. I think it's something that's underrated with a lot of people. I love kissing. Making out so like it could be the best time. If I have a good makeout sesh, I'm like, yes, so turned on. But like if you are sucking my face, or if the whole out bottom half of my face is now covered in slobber. Does that happen? Yeah, oh my god, people are awful at kissing. Like, it's crazy. I'm so glad that I've never experienced it. The amount tongue is important, but like less tongue. Yeah, less tongue. Do not lick my whole face, do not lick my whole tongue. That's weird. That's fucking weird.

SPEAKER_01 51:16

Who did that?

SPEAKER_00 51:17

Um, I can't remember his name. It's been a really bad experience.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

His first kiss.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

I don't think so. I very much isn't. Probably the second. If so, that's his first is his sister.

unknown 51:34

Stop it.

SPEAKER_00 51:36

I know, but I feel I honestly feel like kissing is more intimate than sex. Like, that's how I will bond with you over you being a good kisser. Like, because that's gonna draw me to you.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

I think it can like depend because I've kissed you before and it did not mean anything. Okay. Sorry, usually I'm the one like, but you know what I mean. But I'm serious. I'm like, I've kissed you before and it meant nothing.

SPEAKER_00 52:02

Okay, yes, because listen, I'm not saying that, oh, come to my house and do chores and I'm gonna love you regardless of who you are, or come make out with me and kiss me good and I'm gonna love you regardless of who you are. Like, I'm just I know.

SPEAKER_01 52:16

This is me and my like, like my actual like has to be like honest to a fault where like, well, we have to also say it it takes more than that.

SPEAKER_00 52:25

I'm just saying it basically this podcast is a wide spectrum from one end to the other.

SPEAKER_01 52:31

Well, I mean we we are I am honest as we are on many spectrums, like which one shall we talk about today? They all come out.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

No, but yes, it I like it it can't just be a random person, right? I have to be interested in you in some way, but like these are the things that's gonna help me get from point A to point B, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 52:54

So That was also a very long time ago. When you kissed me? Yes, oh yeah. I didn't I think we kissed each other. I think it was like a mutual effort.

SPEAKER_00 53:02

You started it, but I kissed you back. I like I've made out with a lot of girls, I'm not gonna lie, and I think that inherently girls are better kissers because we, for the most part, like to be kissed in a similar fashion.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

I feel like most girls have kissed their friends.

SPEAKER_00 53:19

Yeah, I I feel like that's quite common. Yes, and it's just like not a thing. And it, you know, it dies out as you get older. I don't like make out with random girls at the bar. But I used to I used to make bets with boys at the bar that I could get a girl to kiss me before.

SPEAKER_01 53:36

I'm like, I'm pretty sure it was provoked. I don't think I walked up and kissed you out of nowhere. For free alcohol, that would make sense. Definitely. Um, last one planning a date night. That is actual foreplay.

SPEAKER_00 53:52

Yes and no, I guess, because I think it depends on the level of effort. Like that's what matters to me is effort. You know, like is your date night picking up McDonald's and sitting at the house while you try to rub my butt? No. That's not it for me. But like I like to do things, you know what I mean? I like to do the most random things. If something's a there's a pop-up activity, I'm I want to go and do that pop-up activity. And if like I want to go axe throwing and I want to go forging and I want to I want to do all of the things. And if you Forging or foraging? Forging. Like making knives.

SPEAKER_01 54:34

Okay. I was like, you want to go wander around outside and find some I like to go hiking, you know, but like if you She wants to go pick her dinner.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

No, I don't. No, I want to make a knife and kill for my dinner.

SPEAKER_01 54:47

Then make a fire and roast it.

SPEAKER_00 54:50

Make it interesting. If you like it. And I'm over here, like I'm in prep right now.

SPEAKER_01 54:54

So like I'm not at home watching a documentary, rubbing my butt while I eat my food out of the way. Sounds amazing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:03

And I'm like, I don't need that level of effort all the time. But like every once in a while, like that's gonna that night you're gonna get lucky. Yeah you know what I mean? Basically, we've decided that there's a whole range of different Which also like of course it's hard then for people to like know what to do because people's interests. Which it comes down to so much communication, yeah, so important.

SPEAKER_01 55:30

And also reading your partner, active listening. We're really good at reading people, so too well fault. Um and energy shifts and all that, but like literally just communication. And your partner can't read your mind. So if you want something, let them know. If they're the one, they're gonna move and switch things to like make you feel most loved and validated.

SPEAKER_00 55:46

And it's gonna it's a win-win, really, because then they know for the future, so then they'll just do it and you won't have to bring it up again.

SPEAKER_01 55:53

But I guarantee you, if they're they're gonna feel good because they're doing something that makes you feel good, and maybe they're like trying to figure out what you like the best. And if you're in a committed relationship and have been for a while and they don't know what you like, I don't know, communication. Start with communication.

SPEAKER_00 56:07

It always it's fundamentals.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

You cannot like the other person can't read your mind, so they may think they're doing an amazing job.

SPEAKER_00 56:14

I know. I I I have to get better about this is why it sucks for you. Because I just let it. Yes. This is when we don't apply the let them theory.

SPEAKER_01 56:27

No, you do not let them, Lacey.

SPEAKER_00 56:31

Okay, I I need to clarify though, because I feel like I'm coming across as a whore on this episode. And I'm not, I haven't even slept in that many.

SPEAKER_01 56:38

This is no, this is why okay, this is also why I talked about how like I'm in a relationship and I'm I'm a serial relationship person. I've only been a few relationships, I've only been with a few people. I've just like have not had that much experience. I'm kind of more awkward when it comes to like talking. I just am because I have less because I've been less in the dating field, less experience with people.

SPEAKER_00 56:57

Yes, but I I just also want it on record that I haven't actually slept with like a girl.

SPEAKER_01 57:02

Most of these stories are the same people. Yes. And they're just also and also everyone has been bad. So it's just like I've had one bad one. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 57:19

They haven't all been bad. But listen, good dick is usually attached to a bad person. So that's that's that's my problem. Oh yeah, well, no.

SPEAKER_01 57:28

Okay, yours is yes.

SPEAKER_00 57:30

Yes, I said my problems. I'm like this is all just my personal experience. I'm not speaking on behalf of autistics and not speaking on the actually really good because I'm not speaking again.

SPEAKER_01 57:39

We are not the same. Nope. So your experience and mine like have been vastly different in the relationship, even though like we've paralleled a lot in like the we've just had completely different but paralleled experiences. Yep. And like I just came from a more like it's just different.

SPEAKER_00 57:59

Because realistically, I mean I've I had There's nothing wrong with three main boyfriends and then four if you were counting the cowardly lion. So you want to at what point does it count as long term? Like what's the a year?

unknown 58:12

God damn.

SPEAKER_00 58:13

Two years? A year official or a year including date? Okay, then that wasn't long term then. Because we we started like going on dates. We were together like in that sense for 15 months, but I broke up with them right before our year anniversary. Official. Because we were dating for three months before we made it official. Cool. So that's not long term. So I've had three. Yeah. And then that guy. And then I'm just in some really awkward situation.

SPEAKER_01 58:47

Mine is like considered long term now, right? I mean, like, I feel like that's that's that hasn't been a year yet, has it? No. No. I don't know. Also in some numbers. I feel like yes. I don't think so. I mean, what what point do we start from? That's that's the question, isn't it? Anyways. Anything's to ponder on the other side. Okay, so we answered our question. There are so many different ways that you can have like foreplay comes down to intimacy, desire, all the things. Partner, not partner, new relationship, old relationship. It all comes down to communication and expressing your needs. Also figuring out what you do like because I feel like there's a such an important part of women who don't even know a lot of women who got married young don't even know. I feel like yeah, no, that's a huge friends who have like you know, married young and never really just in experienced um a sexual exploration. Yeah, they just kind of get in the rut. I know with me and Luke we did for a long time, which is the same thing, just get it done, especially with kids. Yeah, and so you really have to actively like try other things.

SPEAKER_00 59:59

Explore yourself is what like my advice to people to like see what you like and what you don't like. Or if you have a partner that's adventurous enough, you know, just be like, I just want to try this. This doesn't mean that I'm gonna like it or that you're gonna like it. If either one of us doesn't like it, you know, we move on or whatever. But like, yeah, it it can be hard, especially for women who fall in the category with me, where like it's difficult to to get off, and that's not on the gentleman, that's just that it's just is. So it's like you have to find what you're doing.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:28

So we want to do, I want to get the sex therapist on and talk about the different ways of like orgasming and training yourself to be multi-orgasmic.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:38

I have never had that ever.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:40

So apparently you can train your body to have like nipple orgasms, to have like so I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:47

People could see my page, I know. Yes, I know me too.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:49

When I heard that, I was like, I don't know, but I think it'd be fun to get a perspective and to see how you can train your body to do different things. I think it'd be helpful for you.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:58

For me specifically, I gotta get out of my brain because we've talked about it is mental. We j okay. I'm gonna talk about it. No, not your part, just my part in general. Like there are moments where I can be close and I get in my own way. It's like my brain shuts it down for whatever reason. Like I could not tell you, but then like I can't. Or I get self-conscious or something happens, and I like instantly I I no longer even close to my case.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:32

The self-conscious thing, that could be a thing. I think I think a lot of it is when you feel safe with a partner. I don't think you felt, maybe not in a long time, felt like you know, completely open and vulnerable and safe with a partner.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:44

Well, no, because that bit me in the ass. Not literally, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:51

The handprint ever bite? There's handprints, hence the nickname. Bent in half. Listen, the biting would have been easy at that point.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:03

But let's let's be real in that scenario, is that was a safe place to experiment to find what works and found a position that worked, and it just so happened to result in a bruise in the shape of a hambrent. She bruises easy. I do, I do, I really do. I have like little paw pants bruises from when the dogs jump. So, yes, so it's not, it wasn't bad.

unknown 1:02:32

It was a good thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:33

All right, well, that's okay. All right, so we are over time now, but we are done. That's we always go over, it's good. Um, that was actually really funny and uh informational. Me too.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:43

Yeah, it was informational on my side.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:45

No, I actually really enjoyed um learning about like it's just completely normal, and everyone goes through like that's the that's the takeaway. You're not I think sex is so taboo, people don't really talk about it. I mean, it's more now, but it's like even for me being in a relationship, you like being single, like it doesn't matter. Everyone has like different needs to be met and learning how to voice what you want and communicate and also be receiving of communication from your partner.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:13

Yeah, you you gotta listen. You're gonna learn a lot by just listening, active listening, like you said listening, listen to the sounds, you'll know where to go.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:24

Talk to you next time. Bye.