we are NOT the SAME

What If The Chaos Feels Like Home?

• Heather Gardner and Lacey Joseph • Season 3 • Episode 42

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 56:52

Send us Fan Mail

Are you actually “surrounded by idiots,” or are your choices quietly steering the chaos? Heather and Lacey get uncomfortably honest about self-awareness, dating patterns, and the ways we blame other people while ignoring our own habits, especially when we keep dating the same person in different packaging.

We kick things off with real-life updates and then jump into Would You Date Him, a fast game that exposes what we tolerate: inconsistent communication, unemployed “figuring it out” energy, and the kind of success that still makes you anxious. From there, the conversation turns into a deeper look at the broken picker problem, why some of us default to “it’s my fault,” and how love bombing can slip past you even when you know the therapy buzzwords. We talk boundaries, closure, trust after a toxic relationship, and why calm can feel suspicious when you grew up in chaos.

Then we lighten it up with Instant Ick and Main Character Or Embarrassing, roasting gym filming, motivational quotes, soft launching relationships, and the wild things people do online. We close with Receipts Or Reach hot takes like “men always come back,” “pretty privilege,” and whether you can tell in five minutes if you like someone, plus a listener prompt that makes this personal.

If you’ve been searching for dating advice, red flags, relationship boundaries, and healing after toxic relationships, hit play and come laugh with us while you learn something about yourself. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a reality check, leave a review, and tell us: what do you keep blaming on other people that might actually be you?

-

Support the show

Cold Open And Big Question

SPEAKER_00

Are you the problem or are you surrounded by them? Both. Welcome to We Are Not the Same. I am Heather. I am Lazy. We have a great episode for you today. It's like self-awareness.

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna get called out so hard. I feel like in our last, I don't know, 10 episodes, I've been called out pretty hard.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like I get called out real hard too.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you're just more innocent.

SPEAKER_00

Because you But I'm not.

SPEAKER_01

You come across that way though. Somehow.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Um today. We're gonna have you check in and be honest. Have you ever blamed someone else and then later realized it was actually you?

SPEAKER_01

I don't know if I would say. Like I'm aware that I'm a problem.

SPEAKER_00

I don't think in your circumstances you had anything to do with the problem. Maybe you're broken picker.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, maybe I don't leave. And like I I always believe that you're always equally at well, not equally, you're always at somewhat at fault, right? You put yourself in that situation somehow. You made decisions that got you there.

SPEAKER_00

Maybe you let your boundaries slide, let some things go. So there's always some sort of blame to be put in.

SPEAKER_01

But am I the main problem?

Life Updates And Recycling Exes

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely not. No. No, but the caliber of men, I feel like, is the problem. Yes, okay. All right. Um, well, before we deep dive into all that juicy goodness, let's do a little, a little brief life update. Um, just real quick. Real quick rundown. Rundown.

SPEAKER_01

Well, I mean, it relates because I am the problem when it comes to me recycling.

SPEAKER_00

You're a recycler now.

SPEAKER_01

It's good for the planet. Not Lacey. It's good for not making my numbers go up.

SPEAKER_00

But if it's only mid, mid at best. I know. Are you just torturing yourself? I mean We also made a plan of action for you next time. Did I already forget? Purse vibrator.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah. Bring toys. Problem solved. I am gonna do that there. So, y'all, if you see me walking around.

SPEAKER_00

And her purse starts vibrating.

SPEAKER_01

Which is even funnier, because my purse is R2 D2. That's what I was like, yeah, what do they have?

SPEAKER_00

Do they have a R2D2 vibrator?

SPEAKER_01

I mean, surely, but I have nothing to do with that.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna look this up right now. The weird shit that's gonna come across on my feet. I always take one for the team.

SPEAKER_01

Well, why the weird shit already comes across my feet?

SPEAKER_00

Are you looking up weird cosplay?

SPEAKER_01

Like no, I don't. It just shows up.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Um, life update. That is my life update. Oh, you went the recycling. And then now I did listen though. I tried. I said no four times. So like I'm getting better. It used to be like, hey girl, what's up? And then be like, hey boy, hey. And now I was like, no, no, no, no. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

So apparently there's a website called Geeky Sex Toys.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, I bet. That's that that seems legit.

SPEAKER_00

And they do, in fact, have an R2 V2 vibrator. Hold on. Why is my internet. I know. It's like the picture is not loading fast enough. What is happening? Oh my gosh. Screenshots so that we can now share that with everyone listening.

SPEAKER_01

Let me, I can I can verbally describe this. It's basically your old school 1980s quote unquote back massager. The wand. The wand. But it's blue and white. And it has on the head part. There's a little area where it would be like his mechanical eye. But otherwise, that's that's ridiculous. That's not even a good try, guys.

SPEAKER_00

That's the best you're gonna get.

SPEAKER_01

That's awful. I could design oh my god. I could design nerdy sex toys. I think I'd be good at it.

SPEAKER_00

Me R2 dildo, Star Wars sex toys. This is where the fun begins. The things that I've now looked at. Why is there no photo?

SPEAKER_01

Nope. Moving back. Rolling it back. Rolling it back. Get off of the sexy nerd toys. Okay. I'm done. I'm done. This is how people get addicted.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. I'm like, wow. I've never seen these things before. Welcome to my life. Okay. Life update. You've been recycling. You've been recycling. Yeah. You're doing a good job.

SPEAKER_01

I've been doing lots of things. I went to a play. I went to B-O. I went to Funko. I went to book club. I did all the things.

SPEAKER_00

We've hung out. Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_01

I know. That's a lot for me. I'm going on vacation.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

You're going to Florida.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, and then you're gonna pick mom up from her first uh chemo. Yes, okay.

SPEAKER_01

Thursday, I remembered. You still have to send me the location and I will. Okay. I will. You have to.

SPEAKER_00

Before you leave. Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, please.

SPEAKER_00

We just did. Yes, please.

SPEAKER_01

Listen, I've missed two. Okay, I'll talk about this too. I've missed two appointments in the past two weeks because I just fucking forgot.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, my eye appointment and my hair appointment. That's those are bad appointments to miss. So you have to show me. I'm gonna assume we're done.

SPEAKER_00

You don't want to miss that appointment. No, she'd be like, my port is beeping. No, no. She needed out.

SPEAKER_01

Where the fuck are you? And I just la la la.

SPEAKER_00

I'm like, fucking, I don't know, man. My memory's going.

SPEAKER_01

Memory's getting worse.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so that's my update. Mom's getting chemo starting on Tuesday. We go to Long Beach for the kids' last competition on Thursday before Summit and Worlds.

SPEAKER_01

And last competition before these other competitions.

SPEAKER_00

Well, it's like the last end of season, and then that's like their after season. Yeah, yeah. No, that's fair. So yeah, be going to Florida again for like 13 days. So that'll be fun.

SPEAKER_01

You go to Florida so much. I know. We'll come with. I can't. You're also gonna be going. I'm also going to be going. I'm going on a cruise to Mexico and Honduras.

SPEAKER_00

So oh, and then I'll be 40 really soon. So soon. Wow. Okay, so yeah, that's that's our um so yeah, today we're figuring it out if you're toxic or just surrounded by idiots.

SPEAKER_01

Again.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, we are gonna dive into a quick little segment because it's just really funny. We're gonna prime ourselves for this. Uh, would you date him?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, this is how we're gonna call me out.

SPEAKER_00

This is That's a great way. Okay. Um, we're gonna say yes or no. We can defend our answer, and then please call each other out.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, baby. You know. I'm just hoping I can call you.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, you can probably. Okay. Probably. We'll go. I'll read it, and then you answer, and then I'll go.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, you do round one, I can do round two.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, and then we'll round three together. Okay, okay. Round one.

SPEAKER_01

Why does that sound dirty? It really does.

SPEAKER_00

What's to come? Oh. Just uh, okay, round one. Okay. 35, owns a house, gym five times a week, divorced, doesn't post on social media, texts consistently, but never calls.

SPEAKER_01

Am I allowed to say what I want to say right now?

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

You're almost dating that guy.

unknown

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01

Almost. Not quite, but almost.

SPEAKER_00

Almost. I was gonna say, yeah, I would. What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_01

I'm just that's like that's oh, sorry. That was so funny. I mean, I would also. I would. Okay. All right, perfect. You know me. I hate phone calls. So I call when I need an immediate type system.

SPEAKER_00

But I also do both to you. I will text you and call you. Immediately after. I'm like, did you see it yet?

SPEAKER_01

Oh, although yesterday, I was like, oh, we text each other at the same time. We did the exact same time. That was weird, actually. We hadn't talked in days. I was like, oh. That's exactly. I'm like, oh, I gotta see what's up.

SPEAKER_00

It was like at the exact same time.

SPEAKER_01

And when I say exact, I mean literally the bubbles were there as I went there. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

It was like, oh, there she is. She was thinking about me.

SPEAKER_01

It was.

SPEAKER_00

That was funny. Okay, round two.

SPEAKER_01

Round two. Hold on. I don't went out. Okay. Um attractive. Funny. No job currently. Quote unquote figuring it out. Amazing chemistry.

SPEAKER_00

You feel like I dated this guy.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like that's my entire dating history. Except take out attractive. Oh, I forgot that part.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't see that part.

SPEAKER_01

If you take out attractive, this sadly, it seems to be my type.

SPEAKER_00

I'm gonna say no. No, no. But you know what? I was conned and fooled into the person that I dated before. Yeah, but that person said that they had a funny or something. Or attractive. I know, I forgot the first things you said. That wasn't amazing chemistry. It was a lie. It was a mirror, a facade, a creation of what they wanted me to.

SPEAKER_01

So the difference is you only date that if you're tricked into it, and that's literally the only person I date.

SPEAKER_00

But I would I know if you don't. You I have three children that I'm gonna do.

SPEAKER_01

I'm gonna say no now.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

Pass me, absolutely. Yes, pass me.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, pass me was like, I don't care. If you can take care of yours, I can take care of myself. So, like, whatever. Like, but no, that's bad.

SPEAKER_01

Dude, my bar was so low it was in hell.

unknown

Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Round three. Okay, it says spicy. Why does it say spicy?

SPEAKER_00

I don't know. Successful, travels a lot, bad communicator, you feel anxious with him. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01

That's why I'm I really wanna. I hope, I hope it's no. But you can't really But I don't know. Because she could if I might. The successful part really gets me because and not- And you're used to feeling anxious, so who cares? Would I even notice a difference?

SPEAKER_00

That's normal. And you also don't care if they don't communicate with you. If they send you a few texts, you're good.

SPEAKER_01

I'm good. Minimal communication as long as it's clear is normal.

SPEAKER_00

So does this go back to is it you that's the problem here?

SPEAKER_01

In this round, yes. I God, and me too. I was all yes, I'm the Okay.

SPEAKER_00

I feel like I might also, but no.

SPEAKER_01

I think you would too. Especially because you're like, I love to travel.

SPEAKER_00

I also don't mind feeling anxious. It happens all the time. That is my baseline. Oh my god, going through all this shit with my mom and all the things. Like, I'm like, why am I oddly calm? Oh, because I'm used to being in fucking chaos. Like as a child, that's all that there was.

SPEAKER_01

It's almost more comforting because you're like, oh, this is my this is home.

SPEAKER_00

Now I know what to focus on. Now we're good. That anxiety, it knows where to home. Yeah. So we're good.

SPEAKER_01

But let me tell you, my son got a flat tire and I was like, fuck.

Patterns And The Same Guy Again

SPEAKER_00

But it's easy to solve those problems. Right. The anxiety is the stuff that you don't like. Like, what the why can you not tell the difference, brain, between like Because we're the problem. Whatever. Whatever. Okay, well, that was um that was fun. So now let's bring us to are you the problem? Yeah. Um, so it's patterns. I feel like patterns come down to our patterns in dating our pickers.

SPEAKER_01

Like me circling back around. That's a perfect example. Like I can't, I and we have a pattern.

SPEAKER_00

We literally are dating the same type over and over. It's the same one. But you also are different versions.

SPEAKER_01

Different packaging, same insights. Literally, like buying all the different versions of the Ken doll. Like this one comes with a different set of accessories, but at the end of the day, it's the same fucking guy. Okay, yeah. I mean, yeah. Yes. See, but here's also part of here's part of why I'm the problem is I always assume that I'm the problem in any given scenario. So then they get away with shit because I'm like, I blame myself instead of them when they're the ones that should be blamed. So in that regard, I am the problem, so I am correct to blame me at the same time. But I'm both correct and incorrect.

SPEAKER_00

Are you really ever the problem if they circle back around?

SPEAKER_01

And do they? Boy, do they all the time.

SPEAKER_00

All the time.

SPEAKER_01

All the time. Like years later. My old high school boyfriend just added me on Snapchat. Like two weeks ago. It's all they always come back around. So that does make me feel like I'm not the problem. Right. Right. I would say no. Thank you. Um I don't think. I was like, I don't think you're the problem either.

SPEAKER_00

I don't, yes. I'm not. No. No. Um, yeah, he did kept coming back around after all like you fucking stole from me. Y'all broke up a lot. Well, yeah, he had to hide all the lies. It's easier to deflect with all the weird shit that.

SPEAKER_01

You kept taking him back. And I can't say shit because I do it too. I do it too. It's not like I because they convince you. That's the patterns.

SPEAKER_00

I hey, I was done when I realized like he fucking stole from me. Well, that's the whole thing, right? Actually, no, I was done before that. It was the lying. I said you lied to me one more fucking time, and I invented. I left him in Seattle.

SPEAKER_01

That's actually a really good point. Right, but you didn't even find out about the ceiling until after you already ended it. And I don't think people realize that. It wasn't like you found out about the ceiling and then you broke up with him. You actually broke up with him because of then found out about the ceiling.

SPEAKER_00

He lied about a stroke. He lied about dinner reservations, argued with himself on the phone in the middle of Walmart. Pretending to talk to a restaurant that wasn't on the phone. He has come clean about lying about that stuff. And I said, if you I don't know why I gave him one more chance. But then again, the day after my brother's funeral, I believe no more. Okay, I do feel bad. I feel like now I do not give people the benefit of the doubt. Like I just assume people are lying.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I I get that.

SPEAKER_01

I rely on my face.

SPEAKER_00

It's because with in my marriage with Luke, I was very safe, basically. Like I, you know, like we had our ups and downs, but I was always like that with my person. I always knew he had my back. I just felt very safe always.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I've never can't relate.

SPEAKER_00

So I went into the dating world with that mentality that people are good men. That was your mistake. That was my number one mistake.

SPEAKER_01

You always go in like this is a post-apocalyptic movie, and your odds are slim. Yes. Like that is the right way to dive into the dating pool. I had the flash. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And then Johnny Bravo.

SPEAKER_01

It's safe here. Rainbows of my family.

SPEAKER_00

Abort mission. Abort mission. Get out while you can. And I did. And then I had the same dude in a different package.

SPEAKER_01

You became me for a minute. I love how your downward spiral is just my baseline.

SPEAKER_00

Johnny Bravo is so desperate though. Can we talk about the lengths that he would go to to like tread?

SPEAKER_01

I thought you were going to say, can we talk about the legs? And I was going to be like, yes.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Yes. You, okay, recently it's come to light.

SPEAKER_01

Sorry, Kamilla. He is definitely, if he was not aware of his tiny ankles before, he is now and is publicly addressing it.

SPEAKER_00

Also, who refers to them as like the what is the hot X or whatever amount of people? I don't know. They're so cheesy.

SPEAKER_01

We have been made aware that this gentleman now has a TikTok page where he is trying to um pretend like he's taking accountability, where he's like, God, what did he say? There's so many, there's so many classics on there. There was one where he's like, I have another relationship in me, but not another breakup. Oh my God, who caused that? And I'm like, Who caused that? Maybe you shouldn't like commit theft. Oh, but then he also like he was like, I'm working on my calves now. Don't joke.

SPEAKER_00

Don't joke. Sorry. Oh, what calves. It's like the same photo with different lighting.

SPEAKER_01

I almost asked you, like, did he just like like take one photo and then just AI change the background? Because it's the same post. Every single it was weird. It literally looked like a photo book.

SPEAKER_00

Like it's like, is this a bot creating this?

SPEAKER_01

I think it is. It might be.

SPEAKER_00

The cheesiest one is the being a boyfriend is temporary, being a hot ex is forever. Oh, that's what it was. People. No one cares about your tiny ankles and your vice grip head. The fucking ears and the nose and all the things. And your fucking soul is like an evil fucking person. Yeah. So funny. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01

At least we're self-aware now.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, yeah. No, definitely. Also, like, why did it talk about like how he doesn't have a house anymore?

SPEAKER_01

He's officially a homosexual. He is looking for a lady just to have a place to stay.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, he must be really desperate because I've gotten uh several screenshots. He's reaching out. Yes, and they also.

SPEAKER_01

Ladies, beware, he's reaching out.

SPEAKER_00

They send them to me screenshots.

SPEAKER_01

He got evicted, we know because Heather's the one who keeps getting all of the notifications on her phone. Because he can't even update his phone number. It's crazy. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Self-awareness or denial. I think, listen, I think it's both.

SPEAKER_00

Dating the same types over and over again, or why does this always, you know, like the why does it always happen to me? Because you're dating the same ones. No, I'm very aware why it happens. No, I mean like just people in general. To our audience, reality check. It's you or your choices. At the end of the day. At the end of the day. Right. If it keeps happening to you.

SPEAKER_01

I'm the common denominator, therefore I am the problem.

SPEAKER_00

And she's like it's not you in the relationship. It's because you keep giving the same type of man a chance.

SPEAKER_01

I know.

SPEAKER_00

It's because they're the ones that are interested. Listen. It's because you keep recycling. I am not a recycler. Oh, small office. Here, we are so different. I am not a fucking recycler. I am a mega Aries when you are dead to me. Mega Aries. That's what goes through my head every time you say that. I love it. I'm like, I am an Aries on Aries, so I'm a fucking fiery fire. I will eat you alive. Fiery fire. I know a fiery bowl. Isn't that what it is? That's even worse.

SPEAKER_01

That is true. You you don't give people well, you did give Jordan all the chances in the world. So there's that. But the difference is time. Like I will separate from somebody for a whole year and then circle back around and still entertain that person. So the thing yours is like, oh, we just broke up. We haven't officially like we're still going through it. Yes. And then get back together. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

It's not the same thing. But once I'm done, done, I who I forgot the flash's name. I forgot the flash even exists for a moment of time.

SPEAKER_01

I kept forgetting horse-teeth's name. It was driving me crazy.

SPEAKER_00

I I remember no one forgets the horse teeth.

SPEAKER_01

That's just such a crazy story. Like the universe cannot be more like, don't date this dude than him being dressed like an elf, him getting a DUI, and his truck catching fire on the day you meet him. All three of those things are true. The universe was saying, run away. And I was like, I'll date him for a little bit. He does not, he's not on my permanent record. If it's not 90 days, it's fine. Okay, so self-awareness.

Healing Buzzwords Versus Real Growth

SPEAKER_00

Self awareness versus denial. Here we go. People who think they're healed but aren't. And therapy buzzwords versus actual growth.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, so that's fair because sometimes I I I know the buzzwords. Like, remember, even with Lemon, I had to go to you and be like, You I didn't know what love bombing felt like. Like, I didn't know what it was. I didn't know it was happening. And you're like, he is love bombing you so hard, but it didn't work on me because I don't love myself. So it's like that was wasted effort on his own. No, it makes you uncomfortable. It made me very uncomfortable. You're like, stop loving me. Stop liking me.

SPEAKER_00

Stop loving me. No, go away.

SPEAKER_01

I don't believe you. So it doesn't, it didn't work on me. But I didn't even know what it was. Even though I know all the buzzwords, and I know I couldn't, I couldn't identify it without outside help.

SPEAKER_00

So the self-awareness was there.

SPEAKER_01

Yes. I I knew that I was like, this doesn't feel right, but I don't know what this is.

SPEAKER_00

I did not like him. No. And his love bombing stopped real fucking quick. It didn't even last longer than like a week. Because he told me he loved me. Well, to be fair, he ate a lot of mushrooms.

unknown

So fucking.

SPEAKER_00

I had never realized anybody. I didn't even know.

SPEAKER_01

I also did not.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't realize you walked around in a state of And just permafried. So weird. That explains a lot.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, no, you're right. As soon as when he said I love you, and I said, No, you don't. And I literally was like, don't say that. And then he just stopped. So that also should have been like that was a tactic, right? Like, because it's not easy to just stop.

SPEAKER_00

No.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So self-awareness and the healing takes a while. It takes a lot. You've gotten so good.

SPEAKER_01

I'm I'm I really am so much better, which is sad.

SPEAKER_00

We can laugh now because we're on the other side of it.

SPEAKER_01

Correct. I'm at least I'm on the healing journey, but it's gonna be a fucking long one. I feel like you because until you get your final closure, like you're as healed as you can be without having closure. Yes. And you can't you can't be all the way healed of something without the closure.

SPEAKER_00

I don't feel like I need closure from a person. I'm fine never speaking to people again.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but don't you feel like that chapter is not not over? Because you still might have to see them.

SPEAKER_00

You still might have to find close it, they're fucking done. And dead to which I am able to like my cutoff game when I'm ready to cut you off is like.

SPEAKER_01

I still have nightmares about potentially running into these people and how nervous I would be about what I would say or what I would do because it would probably go against my best interests. I would they would be like, Oh, we should catch up sometime. And I would internally be screaming, I don't want to do that, and I would still verbalize and say, Yes, sure. And like, I would what the fuck is wrong with me?

SPEAKER_00

I would be like, excuse me, who are you? You have to just come with me everywhere I go. I will, but your face would have to shut up. And that's the problem. I'd be like, turn around, I'm gonna do the talking.

SPEAKER_01

Don't let them make eye contact. Don't let them don't which is funny because I hate eye contact. I'm autistic. It makes me uncomfortable anyway, but that's what how they get me.

unknown

That's the eye contact.

SPEAKER_00

It's because you like to feel anxious and uncomfortable. And then that's how they lure you in your let me see just a little bit.

SPEAKER_01

Just a little bit. Like, let's make you feel just a little bit like shit. And then you're gonna be like, baby. Okay, so again, self-aware.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Uh, you're not in denial. You're definitely in self-awareness. Um, so there we go. Growth. They're okay.

SPEAKER_01

It is better. Um that's so funny. I told you I was gonna get called out on this damn episode.

SPEAKER_00

We can do an are you the problem gym version. Um well, since that's your world, yeah. You would know. Um, are you the problem when you blame okay? This happens, you know, genetics versus effort. Blaming XYZ versus effort. It usually is the effort. I'm just saying that's gonna sting for a lot of people. But it literally does.

SPEAKER_01

You can feel like a lot of people lean on the phrase specifically is the like, I'm big boned. Scientifically, you're everybody's bones are the same size.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I mean, everyone can have a varying frame, height, width, all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01

Everybody is genetic factors that can affect certain things, but on the people have to be.

SPEAKER_00

That's the exception, not the rule. But there is always going to be something you can do to improve your fitness, and a lot of the times it's just being uncomfortable. It is hard to start a fitness journey. It is hard to get in the gym and to be uncomfortable and to be hungry and to make yourself tired and to have sore muscles, but it's like it's also hard to not like the way you look or complain about it.

SPEAKER_01

I think you a lot of people think that like you only have to work out like till you get there.

SPEAKER_00

No, and it's a lifetime thing, it's a fucking commitment. And even when I'm in off-seating this season and gaining weight, I'm still working out. I'm just not doing cardio to like gain muscle. So it's like it never ends. But, anyways, it so are you the problem, bodybuilder gym edition, um, blaming genetics versus effort. Um, if you're blaming something, you are the problem. Yeah, there's always some effort to be had. It's literally just moving more, eating less, calories in versus calories out at the end of the day. That's all it is. If that's your goal, I mean you can always work to something.

SPEAKER_01

But, anyways, no, and that's fair because listen, I'm like 10 pounds overweight. I'm very aware that I'm 10 pounds overweight, and I am not, I complain all the time that I'm 10 pounds overweight, and I am doing though. Absolutely. You really don't complain. You don't complain all the time.

SPEAKER_00

You are not like, oh my gosh, I'm doing all these things and nothing's working. You're like, I'm gonna keep eating my baked goods and be 10 pounds and I'm fine with this.

SPEAKER_01

This is the decision that I am making. Because I know I could, because I've done it. But you don't want to. I don't want to put in the effort.

SPEAKER_00

This rolls right into I want your body, but not your discipline. Yeah. Because the things that you have to do in order to achieve the look, not everybody wants to do. Nope. And that's fine. I fucking um so that kind of also just goes back into like you can blow it into anything, blaming genetics, blaming whatever, or just putting more effort in.

SPEAKER_01

I couldn't do it because I've seen you eat.

unknown

I couldn't.

SPEAKER_01

The eye roll I just got so hard right now, you guys. I fed you a brownie. I didn't like it when I critique her food. I know.

Boundaries Trust And Overthinking

SPEAKER_00

It's fine. It's all I got right now. Okay. Okay, so now I just threw that little tidbit in because it's, you know, it's my jam. Um, so when it's not you, actually recognizing red flags early, so proud of you. You were doing so good on the screen. I'm getting way better. Also, I am just good at like spotting. Um, me, I'm practicing like just healthy boundaries. I don't think there's like really it's just boundaries in a relationship and a healthy relationship and like growing a healthy relationship.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because for you, it's like you have to find the balance, right? Because you went from a relationship where everything was safe to a relationship where everything was a lie. And so, like, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Like, you have to figure out the balance between like what very stable, but it's like, okay, like just building and growing and going without any chaos or anything like that. It's a good place to be, but it's also my life right now is chaotic with my mom and everything. So the balance of like work, kids, taking care of my mom, being a girlfriend, my own stuff.

SPEAKER_01

Not and everybody being too much into things because I think that's high alert and because you're exactly that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00

Like, but I've also kind of that was I think that that's like chilled out a little bit. Like there's been like For sure.

SPEAKER_01

I definitely But it was just because your anxiety was so high, because you didn't think.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, there was a few incidences that kind of brought things into like are what you know, there was Well, because it's hard. It's hard to be like, especially with the way society and then having communication and everyone's a liar and everything's bad, and all like it comes down to just like if you care enough about your partner, you will talk to them. And then like, I don't know, I feel reassured enough and like feel so solid. I feel more solid now than ever. Like, I feel a really good place. Good. So that's good. Yeah. And I think I always have. Like in this, it's weird because I think it's one of those, like, it is so your biggest thing is you're like, do I trust this?

SPEAKER_01

Because that last one was so bad.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, because in the beginning, I this is totally different. It feels totally different. It's just it's such a healthy, normal relationship. Can't relate. Um, I can't, this is the first time, so I mean, I can't say me and them were, but like we grew up together. It's so different when you like grow with the person.

SPEAKER_01

It is it is very different because you guys had toxicity in the early. Yes, as like everybody does, I feel like in your early 20s.

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Whereas this is different because like you're not having that toxic wave at the beginning, and you're almost like used to that because you had the toxic wave here, and then it got good, and then you had the toxicness here that just stayed constantly the entire time that you were together, and then came together. So I left him in Seattle. Isn't it funny how we leave people in Seattle? Neither here nor there. It's very healing. It's very healing.

SPEAKER_00

It's really funny. But you know what? One of those came back and one of them did not. Here's me. I'm like, hi, what are you doing? And you're like, what, bitch? You don't remember the last. I'm like, I thought we were having fun last night. I woke up and you weren't here. My romper was on backwards. What happened?

SPEAKER_01

See, now I can be like, that was me being a red flag. I'm just like, find your own way home.

SPEAKER_00

I probably deserved it. You didn't. So I was fine with it.

SPEAKER_01

But I'm I feel like I'm getting so much better. And I feel like I for me now it's like I I have I over-analyze and I'm like, I'm erring on the side of caution. That's good though, because then we can talk it out. Yeah. I don't trust my own opinion anymore when it comes to this.

SPEAKER_00

Is also when I think you need to like not over-internalizing previous bad behavior or anything you perceive as bad behavior. Yep. Um, because who the fuck cares it's already done and over with?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, not letting things go will kill you.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, like, and honestly, like you can't rehashing things in your mind or going back through things, or like I could sit there and pick apart. I've like compartmentalized and like gotten rid of the Johnny Bravo situation in my mind and moved forward. Like, once the whole court thing is like actually done, it'll be like I never have to think about it ever again. Um, but oh my brain, I just ran away with that. Here's not over-internalizing, not overthinking about it. I don't even think about it anymore because what is it gonna change? Right. Nothing. Right. I refuse to give one ounce of my energy or being to that negativity and all of that, and it's made my life so much better.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I'm trying really hard to like but it's a fucking choice.

SPEAKER_00

You do have to choose to not think about it. You do have to like occupy your time with other things, like and do the healing work not like I healed like myself, like, oh my gosh, I let myself be bamboozled and conned by somebody who robbed me blind, pretending that they were in a relationship with me. So it's like, um, it's wild. And so going back and like realizing, I don't know, just the things that allowed me to be taken advantage of and then fixing that so that will never happen again, and then just creating honestly, just pouring into my kids and myself has been the best.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I I definitely struggle with like the things that I went through, like with the boys' dad and with you know, fat Roger, and like I that stuff still bothers me. Like, I still internalize and think about the bad decisions that I made.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, and like I don't I here's the difference. I think those men made you feel bad. Yeah. So you like have feelings like negative feelings about yourself in regards to that because they have always made you feel bad. Yes. I wish I could take that away for you. Me too. Because I think like I didn't have that part, and so I wonder if that's why it's easier. But you have been made to feel bad about yourself in regards to that, like it is your fault, like they use that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, and so that's actually that that's a really good point, and that actually makes me feel better in a weird way because it's a different type of battle, it's not as easy as just being like I'm done with that and I can move on because I can't, because there are things that still like physically affect me by the well, they brainwashed you into thinking it was you, correct.

SPEAKER_00

And you're really good at taking on the it is me role, which I'm so proud because you're getting better. I'm getting so much better. Um, but your go-to is always, I don't think this is where we differ, and this is kind of funny. My go-to isn't oh, it's me.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, it's them.

SPEAKER_00

That is and yours is always it's me. And mine is like, oh, that's fucking them. That's so true. If we And we have receipts.

SPEAKER_01

Shut up. I was calling myself out in the best way. No, but that's so true. That's very true. I will come back. My first instinct is that whatever is happening is my fault. And your first instinct is how dare they. Yes.

SPEAKER_00

And then I will like try to see both sides, but my first is look what they did. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I have to like You're really good about if I just let you talk it out and just like I'm there and I just acknowledge that yes, I'm listening to what you said, you get there.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, like give me five minutes.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you just not even you start here, you need to be here. You always get there. It takes me longer to get there than you because I am it's so ingrained on me, more than just you know what I mean? Like it's from each person all the way to childhood that I'm the problem, it's me. Hi. I hate that I love that line from that song so much, but I do because I'm like, I feel it. Ha, it's me. I'm the problem, it's me. That's like my theme song. I don't even know the rest of the song. Weird. It is. God damn it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

No, that's fair.

SPEAKER_00

That's very, very fair. Okay, well, now that we've um gotten called out in a little bit.

SPEAKER_01

I do have therapy on Tuesday.

Instant Ick Rapid Fire Takes

SPEAKER_00

Yay, well, that is actually something to explore. Yeah. I think that'd be good. Um, okay, well, to break up that little uh hard-hitting section, we have a little segment called Instant Ick. All right, no overthinking. We're gonna make this fast. Okay. Um instant ick. They say, trust me too much. Yeah. Ick. Yeah. No. Why do I need to trust you? Why are you trying to sell me on it? I already listen. We talked about my trust issues.

SPEAKER_01

I'm like, I went into this not trusting you. So you telling me to trust you is not how you're gonna get me to trust you. It's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00

Uh, yeah, no. Um, films every set at the gym. I'm not saying like one or two sets, take a video of this or that. Maybe you don't see this very much, but it's like, or you see people on social media, it's like everything they post is their entire workout. I think. And that becomes their entire personality.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, if it's your personality, it's a nick for sure. If it it to me depends on why you're doing it. If you're doing it for form and you're it's just easier, you're not going back and forth, so you just film your whole thing and then you go back, then that's fine, you know. But it also angles matter, and I can tell based off of where you place the phone what you're doing. Because you're not checking your form when you're at an angle that's popping your booty. You know what I mean? Like that, so that matters.

SPEAKER_00

Angles do matter because you want it to look good. You don't want it to like you want to show other people.

SPEAKER_01

Right, but that's because you're that's wanting to show it to other people. That's it. That can't be checking your own.

SPEAKER_00

It can't be an ick when it is a narcissistic quality. I take lots. Actually, I don't do that as much anymore. Hard to do. You really don't. I went through a transitional phase. I just have so much going on in life, it's really hard for me to like. But I do want to post and share more about my prep and stuff, but life has just been life, and that's like the least, the least amount of things. But I do have content creation for the pod coming up, and I'm really excited about it, and it makes me so excited that like I have um this new wave of motivation and creativity for our content for the pod. So that's good. Um, order steak well done. Okay, listen. I do it. I do it. No, I said medium well, medium well.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I got you to try a medium. It was a little bloody.

unknown

Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00

In the middle. It was a little bloody.

SPEAKER_01

It was really I was working at Texas Roadhouse and Heather came in with her mom and she ordered a steak, and she was like medium well. And I was like, I can't, in good conscience, submit that for you. It was and then I ate it and it wasn't bad. And even that, like, it should be medium rare, but I wasn't gonna push you. I was like, baby steps. So I it won't give me the ick in the sense that like it's a deal breaker, I'm out, but I will publicly shame you for it. And she has chance you get it. See, no, it's I don't know how I didn't get fired at Texas Roadhouse because anytime somebody ordered it well done, I was like, Are you sure? Like, you do you understand what you're doing? There was this big buff dude making fun of his friend because he ordered a frilly drink, and then when he ordered his steak well done, and I just looked at him, I'm like, Are you fucking serious right now? And the whole table was laughing. I was like, You're gonna give him a shit and then you're gonna pull some of that. I don't think so. And he's like, uh. And I'm like, no. I mean, I'll get it for you, but like, shame, shame.

SPEAKER_00

And this is why she does not work at Texas Reddit.

SPEAKER_01

I don't work at Texas Red out. I did not get fired, I quit. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

Still Snapchats daily. Okay, I just let Lily get Snapchat and I follow hers, and we send each other cute videos and Braden.

SPEAKER_01

So it very much is gonna depend on how you're using that.

SPEAKER_00

Because I use it for all of our old memories, and then yeah, the kids. So um, yeah, no, if that's your main like the kids nowadays, like that's what they only have. They don't even text message. No, they only Snapchat. So if you're doing it is. Yeah, I don't get it. That's all their group chats. All the kids actually, if it's used correctly, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01

No, I mean like for relationships for teenagers and all the hidden things, and mm-mm, that's a dangerous game that I'm playing. You can save things though in chats. Yeah, but it tells them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's all right though. Um, calls women females.

SPEAKER_01

No, that doesn't bother me at all. I call them chicks, and people get really mad at me, but I think it's funny.

SPEAKER_00

Uh, last one uses motivational quotes unironically. Yes, that would give me that would give me so bad.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, I can't stand the self-help movement. I'm sorry. I have to do that.

SPEAKER_00

I I enjoy it if you're actually working on being a but not when you're like, oh, look what I'm reading, and you're like pedaling it and you're pushing it. Like, do that personal. That's personal development. That's what you develop. That's what you thing.

SPEAKER_01

It's not keep it to yourself. Well, and my whole thing is I find things motivational, but it's normally on the dark side.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. No, but you know what I'm talking about. That's all that it is, is like ugly duck post B mode. Do you know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_01

I'm not friends with that person.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, well, I came across the threads and I'm like, I want to vomit in my mouth.

SPEAKER_01

Especially when you know that person and you know that like you're just saying that.

SPEAKER_00

Those pictures are not even real.

SPEAKER_01

No, and they get called out all the time. It's really funny. It's so funny. I see it all the time.

SPEAKER_00

I'm like, uh, that's funny. That tracks.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

Main Character Or Embarrassing

SPEAKER_00

Okay, that was funny. I enjoyed that. We do have we do have a couple more little segments. We're gonna have fun with this one. Main, this one's called main character or embarrassing. I'm gonna give you some examples and we're gonna label them as main character or embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so like main character energy.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, like, oh yeah, you get after it, like, do you? Or that's so embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01

Like something that I'm like, I'm that would make me more attracted to that person.

SPEAKER_00

Or just something that's like, okay, like, yes, you would do that, like yes, go for it. Like, I agree you should do that, or like that's fucking embarrassing. Got it, got it. I get the embarrassing part.

SPEAKER_01

I'm trying to understand the main character part. Okay. I got it, I got it. I'm good. I'm good.

SPEAKER_00

Okay.

unknown

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

Main character, like, yeah, like, yeah, you you roll with it, you rock with it. Okay. Posting crying selfies. Embarrassing. Um, I did post a crying picture after Luke passed away, but it was just one, and that was because all I did was cry.

SPEAKER_01

So that's fine. I have posted crying selfies when I'm putting my dogs down. That's fine. But like on a random station. Not when my mom died.

SPEAKER_00

I didn't when my dad died.

SPEAKER_01

I didn't cry.

SPEAKER_00

Moving on. I don't know if I cried when my dad died. I don't know. It's a weird, it was weird. But my world would fall apart if my mother passed away. I know, I know. Thank God she's here. Six months of chemo wasn't so bad. No. We're manifesting. You know what made her break down of all the things? Not going to Florida to see the kids. That made her cry. Of all the things. She's a woman is like, and I'm like, mom, just six months of hibernation, and then you can come out and do all the things. Yeah, but it's during all the I know, but next year Braden can actually ironically super senior, so she could technically watch him again next year.

SPEAKER_01

Perfect.

SPEAKER_00

Right? That's how the universe works out. Okay, next one. Soft launching a relationship. This is like the picture with just a hand. Yes, I like that.

SPEAKER_01

I love that because listen, there's I think it's more embarrassing when you rush post a relationship. Yes. Which I am. I was a victim to that. So I am guilty of it because I was so excited about this gentleman and then I learned. I should have waited. I didn't give it enough time. But no, I think it's better to do that because then if for some reason something like one, it's showing that you're taken, but if something doesn't work out, you don't have to do like this great grand explanation or go through all of your shit. You know what I mean? It's just like I want to do a soft launch.

SPEAKER_00

I would love a soft launch. But I feel like at this point it's past that. Well, social is still there's no there's no evidence on social.

SPEAKER_01

No, there isn't. There isn't. Not once. This is a very slow soft launch. Like the only people who know are the people who know you personally or who listen to our podcasts. Like, that's it.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, uh, main character. Jim Mirror Thirst Traps. Like the ones that you got in the video of the screen recording.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, well, that was embarrassing. So here's the thing, maybe. Like, if if I don't see them close together, I wouldn't think anything of it. What if all they post see it in a row like that? Then it's like gross. So I'm gonna go with embarrassing. If it is that's your only content, yeah, no, I'm embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, there's a difference between like uh I just worked out and a thirst trap.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and like being like I'm proud of where I've come from and I'm posting my progress every once in a while, but when you're posting one to two every single day, same pose!

SPEAKER_00

I'm swear to god it was just mainly a grid, not a story, main grid, and you have cheesy little yeah, no, no, because that's like a just a weird narcissistic quality. You're real into yourself, right? Or you're looking for attention that is. You're looking for attention. Yep. You need validation. You are one of those validation vultures.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know why my voice just went valley, girl.

SPEAKER_00

Mine went really well. I'm like, oh. I sound like I like smoke. It was like harmonized. Pack a day, and I do not, just in case anyone. You do not sound like you smoke a pack a day, trust. I promise. Alright. Well, good. Good, because I don't. Um whoops, hold on.

SPEAKER_01

Heading into my healing era. Admitting it every month. I think I think it's more than just that. I think it's a good idea. Or like that when I'm sober again.

SPEAKER_00

The sober, the people that are sober again. Then not drinking alcohol, but then when Friday comes around and you get so fucked up. You're like, I'm never doing that again. Any three days sober.

SPEAKER_01

Like, listen, I'm not invalidating your own. Maybe all I'm saying is maybe wait till you hit a milestone you haven't hit before. That's all I'm saying. Because otherwise, it may or like people who like start these crazy fad diets and then it doesn't work out, and then they start another crazy fad diet. You know what I mean? I don't know. It just feels insane. It's embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00

It's embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think it's embarrassing.

SPEAKER_00

I think filming strangers in public, embarrassing.

SPEAKER_01

Embarrassing. Why would you do that? I uh every day we step further away through Christ. I'm like, what? I'm not sorry, that was just funny. I'm not that religious, but like it's that phrase though. Sometimes I'm like, dude, how why? What is happening? People film other people just for the sake of putting it on the internet. And why? What they're not doing anything to you. It's different if it's to you directly. If I I get the people who videotape, like if you're in a confrontation with somebody, it is good to have video evidence because it can help you in court and all the things. I'm not negating that. But if you are in the background and you are filming someone who's just living their life simply to put it on the internet to try to get strangers to make fun of that person, you are a horrible fucking human being, and I hope you get struck by lightning. I'm a back that. I'm a back that. Yeah, it's gross. It's beyond embarrassing. Um so we only have like one main character energy.

SPEAKER_00

That's yes. That's rough. Yeah. And we have like reasons. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

You know what that means? Do better.

Receipts Or Reach Hot Claims

SPEAKER_00

Do better. Do do a lot better. Um this like rolls right into our final segment. Oh, we did it. Oh, this was actually really fun. I've enjoyed guys. We did our homework. We're trying to strategized. We're working on it. We did so good. Okay, we come to our final segment. But we're doing good. What's so good? We are on to our final segment: receipts or reach. So I'm gonna make some quick claims here. And we're gonna say receipts because we got them to back them for the case.

SPEAKER_01

We can prove it, okay.

SPEAKER_00

Or reach, which is like no. So it's either, yeah, I got proof or reach. No. I got it.

SPEAKER_01

I'm ready. Men always come back. Fucking receipts for days.

SPEAKER_00

I receipts. Days. Receipts. I also have receipts. The court, Spokane County court has receipts.

SPEAKER_01

The crazy thing to me is the amount of time that can pass, and they will still try to circle back. Look if think of motorcycle. Three years, three years had gone by of us not seeing or speaking to each other, and that man still circled back.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, here's the thing. Unless they come back through an email, I've blocked everybody.

SPEAKER_01

Fat Roger emailed me. That was how he circled back. That's true.

SPEAKER_00

You can't block people on email, it's really fucking hard.

SPEAKER_01

Uh well, because all they have to do is create a new email address. It's literally like, which is the easiest thing in the world to do it. I know, so it doesn't work that well.

SPEAKER_00

But now, then you just get a restraining order and then they go away.

SPEAKER_01

Do they though? So far. Well, I had a protection order and it took two years. That was different.

SPEAKER_00

That was different.

SPEAKER_01

Two years.

SPEAKER_00

If he watches your story, he cares. Reach. Reach. Uh, why are we the same? I want to say reach, because like also if he's not on social media right like that, like you can't base if someone cares about you on if you what if that person isn't even on social media hardly?

SPEAKER_01

I watch people's videos all the time that I couldn't give two shits about.

SPEAKER_00

Johnny Bravo used to always be like, I'm the first one to like your story. I'm like, that's weird. That doesn't mean anything. You have a lot of time on your hands. Yeah. Why are you stalking my page? Right next to me.

SPEAKER_01

Because that's how he got you.

SPEAKER_00

He literally told me he would stalk me, and I thought that was cute. Red flag. I was also drunk then, so it's fine. That's true. You know, going through hard times. Um, pretty privilege gets you further than hard work. Receipts! Reach. Receips!

SPEAKER_01

Reach. Three seats. Reach. Three seats. I literally can just point at my sister and prove this to be true. I should I make you the list of three things my sister has gotten or the things that she's gotten out of just because she's beautiful? Versus.

SPEAKER_00

She has an outgoing personality and accepts gifts. You do not.

SPEAKER_01

I am also not offered the gifts. So we don't technically know if I would accept the gifts.

SPEAKER_00

Well, you don't have a come gift me face as far as like Thanks, Heather. I didn't mean it like that. It came out really not the way it meant.

SPEAKER_01

So pretty privilege is real, and there's your receipt right there. I meant because this bitch who has that face just made that comment to my face. So there's your face.

SPEAKER_00

I meant, okay, we need a video because the way your face is usually is it's very unapproachable. Jen always has a smile that's like, come talk to me.

SPEAKER_01

That's fair. So I have a friend named Tammy who did me when she first met me because she's like, you just looked like a stuck up snobby bitch. And she's like, and then I had a conversation with you and realized you're the greatest person ever. And I'm like, do I really like if you didn't know me, strangers tell me? I want I want to know. Yeah. It's not you. You know me, and I feel like you're just attacking me.

SPEAKER_00

No, I'm just saying I'm backing you. You are really nice. But if someone has not spoken to you, wouldn't know if they'd make that assumption.

SPEAKER_01

Honestly, fair. That also goes back to when me and Denise are at the bar.

SPEAKER_00

That's why we gotta spread the word that Lacey is autistic, so then it's fine.

SPEAKER_01

I just don't do well socially. It's not her. It's autism.

SPEAKER_00

It's not on purpose. She can't help it. I really can't.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, that's so funny.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, okay. So was that receipts?

SPEAKER_01

Yes, you proved. No. No, I said it wrong. I can't believe I said that. You literally proved it.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, fine. Alright, our last one. You know in the first five minutes if you like someone. Breach. Receipts. Breach.

SPEAKER_01

Oh my god, are you kidding me? I've done you for five months and not know if I like you.

Growth Check And Final Thoughts

SPEAKER_00

This goes back to our patterns of problem. Patterns of problem. That's what I'm gonna start calling it. Hashtag patterns of problems. This is why, like, I don't yeah. I it was yeah. I mean, I'm very good at not continuing conversations or talking to people. You are not. You're like, well, maybe I need to give them the full 90 days just in case. That's why we the trial period exists. But me, I'm like 90 seconds. I'm like fast. I'm like the ADHD version of you. And I'm smiley and nice. I do too, just like the manageable kind.

SPEAKER_01

Mine is hindered by my autism.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, yours is like a double whammy.

SPEAKER_01

No whammy, no whammies. Oh, damn it. Double.

SPEAKER_00

That was a stim.

SPEAKER_01

I know. Stop.

SPEAKER_00

I just want everyone to be aware.

SPEAKER_01

I think the only person who wasn't aware was me. I'm like, no, it's a bit. And then I read an article that said bits are stems, and I was like, damn it.

SPEAKER_00

I think I feel attacked and seen all the time.

SPEAKER_01

I always feel attacked on this show.

SPEAKER_00

Why?

SPEAKER_01

Because I'm apparently pretty fucking awful.

SPEAKER_00

You are not. You are not.

SPEAKER_01

A little bit. I was. I'm not now.

SPEAKER_00

We all were. Good. Growth. Growth.

SPEAKER_01

Growth. Well, that wraps up. I'm in my healing era.

SPEAKER_00

That's embarrassing. Well, that is really embarrassing for you. You'll be there for a while.

SPEAKER_01

I'm never getting out. I live here now.

Listener Prompt And Goodbye

SPEAKER_00

Dead. All right. So everybody, push that button, send us a text and tell us what's one thing you keep blaming on other people. That might actually be you. It can be anonymous. You don't have to put your name. You don't have to put your actual return phone number in there. Um be anonymous.

SPEAKER_01

If you don't put your name, we don't know who it is because it doesn't.

SPEAKER_00

And I don't know what phone numbers either, so I don't know who it is. I don't know. You guys, when you write in, if you want me to know who you are, you have to say. I know. Sometimes we're very consistent.

SPEAKER_01

Or like we get a message that's like really specific.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01

And we we're like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

I don't know who you're talking about. Or they ask questions and I don't make sense.

SPEAKER_01

Right. And then we can't get you the answers because we don't we don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and then we don't read them because we don't understand. Like lost. So anyway, we're gonna start bringing them.

SPEAKER_01

We're gonna start them.

SPEAKER_00

They are actually next episode too. We have a we have an a little run through. So drop us a text. You can also DM us on Instagram or Facebook. Um, we will know who you are then. So if you want to remain remain anonymous, we will keep you anonymous. And yeah. Besties till next time. Bye. Bye. So delayed.