Hot People Problems And A Side Of Chaos

Pretty privilege sounds like a throwaway internet debate until you’re the one sitting at your desk wondering if you earned a promotion or if people only see your face. 

We start with a real catch-up, from turning 40 and stepping into a new era, to cheer worlds travel, bodybuilding prep, and the heavy day-by-day reality of a mom going through chemo. Life is layered right now, and we don’t only talk about it we actually live it. 

Then we pivot into a listener mailbag on pretty privilege and attraction, because the stories hit hard. One message comes from a woman getting side-eyed at work after a promotion, and we break down jealousy, projection, and what “earned” really means in corporate culture. Another comes from someone dating the hottest man alive who also happens to be flaky, inconsistent, and proudly unserious, and we say the part out loud about situationships, self worth, and why “If he wanted to, he would” keeps being true. 

We also read a rare male submission that asks whether staying vague is just modern dating or quietly taking advantage, and we get specific about boundaries, expectations, and honest communication from the very beginning. If you’re navigating dating in 2026, rebuilding after a long relationship, or trying to keep your standards intact in a low-effort world, this one will feel uncomfortably familiar. 

Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a reality check, leave a review, and send us your stories and questions for the next mailbag.

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Transcript

ERR

SPEAKER_01 0:35

That was creepy.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Well, because I pushed the button when you were talking and I'm like, when is it gonna start? Well, I thought you saw me push it. Welcome everyone. Hi. Hey.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Welcome back. Two we are not the same.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

Although there are times.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

There are moments.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Many more than usual.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

It's getting weird. It is. It's just because we're old. You're old. Oh yeah, you're gonna point that out. It was my birthday yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Happy birthday.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

I'm the big four.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Yeah, you are. Over the hill. Is 40 over the hill? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Oh shit. I know. I thought it was 50.

SPEAKER_01 1:16

I mean, probably, but not for me. I'm going out at 80 for sure. No, you're not. Plan in place.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Okay, we're not talking about assisted suicide here.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

It wouldn't be assisted. I'll do it myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Also, Allie uses her pad. Sorry if me and my nose.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Nobody call and turn me in. I've already got it. That's many years down the road.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

80, that's all right. She's still got 41 more years. Plus, because I'm not 40 yet, bitch you are. But I said 41, so I gave you that one. Yes, I know. You're older than me for a couple months. Relish it.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

You're older than me. That's what I meant.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

I meant I'm older than you for a couple months. See, it won't even come out of my mouth.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

No.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

My brain's like, no. That's a no. No, I'm actually fine. I think that for once, like, I'm done. So the 30s was like the grief journey and all that bullshit. I'm done. I'm ready to like. New chapter. Yes. And there's no toddlers in my life anymore. So yeah, we're on to a new era of. Could it be my lover girl era too? Is that gonna be like very soft era? Which is weird for me.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

I know. I'm like, I'm processing that. But it is.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

If you like look at the transition of how things have been.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Other than the bodybuilding thing, that's your like, but that's like my therapy.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Yes, that's my toughness. But like overall, I'm not like as hard. We still make Aries, though.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Till you die.

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Till I die.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

No, but I agree. Because you're you're in a different place now. Like it's noticeable, you know what I mean? You're not in a I mean, other than the stuff with your mom.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Because obviously that's stressful. We take that day by day. She's right. We'll we'll update that in a minute.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

But like overall, you are in a a like calm state in your life. And I'm relishing it. And it's been like consistent for like just an extended period of time. And you're not used to it. And I love it. It's great. I'm so happy for you. You look happy.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

I am.

SPEAKER_01 3:23

Good. What about you? So the laugh. The laugh. Sorry. I mean, I'm me. So things aren't great, like, but they're not awful.

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yes, tell our listeners. We'll we'll talk about what we've done this past. Well, mine was like, I haven't really done much besides the last weekend. But you're here, though.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Yes. Oh. Here in Florida.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

California. California. Oh, I didn't talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

California.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Oh, okay. So do we want to go first? You want to go first?

SPEAKER_01 3:55

You go.

SPEAKER_00 3:56

Okay. You want to process your feelings still about your trip? Okay. I'll run through mine real quick. Okay, so we went to Long Beach. Riot scored a 98.2, which is like crazy. Fucking crazy.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

That's insane. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

And like getting to the 98 club, they did amazing. Um magic, their overall scores, they are in number two for their division at worlds, which means like they could podium at worlds, so that's huge. Would be amazing. So right now we're just like fundraising and getting things going before we leave the 22nd of this month for Worlds and Summit. And yeah, another two weeks in Florida.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

Worlds and Summit. That's two separate things, or is it the same thing?

SPEAKER_00 4:30

Yes, because Braden competes in Worlds, so that's the first one, and that's why we stay an additional week because Summit is a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Who's on which team?

SPEAKER_00 4:36

Because you said Braden and Yeah, so Braden and Lily are both on Riot. So that's a senior co-ed five. And then Braden's also on Magic, which is a senior small, extra small co-ed.

unknown 4:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Because they're all they are a team of 11. And they like, or 11 to 12 or 10.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

How many is the big team?

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Oh, we're still small. So the senior is still small too. Um when you get into the mega gyms, it's more you're getting like the 20, 27 athletes, but we're more than that. I mean, we're just we're just small. I don't, I think there's like there's 16 on Riot with coaches, so like something like that. They're small. We got like a dozen kids on each. And a lot of them cross. They're like the same kids. That's funny. So like a lot of the magic comes down. Um or yeah, so there's crosses, and so that's their final of the season, and they could do very, very well. So they are making a name for themselves in the cheer world. It's so exciting. Washington Extremes making their mark. Um, and then yeah, I'll be in Florida for a couple weeks and then come back. I am still prepping for my show in July. So Chicago Pro, two weeks later, Tampa Pro, two weeks later, Max Fit, and then I'll be done. So no more extended. Remember last season, it was like three fucking months.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

It was, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

It was spread out. Yeah, not this time. We're just gonna do it, run it and done. And I'm trying to go for that. I'm 40 now. Yeah, I are Masters Olympia qualification is what I'm trying to go for. That's awesome. So that's exciting for you. Yes. So that's exciting. And I am in such a good place. Um, well, okay, mom stressors. Obviously, mom's right now getting her second round of chemo.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

Yeah, she's there literally right now.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Yes, she'll be there extra long today because she needs some magnesium. She was having low potassium left. So there's like, I mean, there's no, we're just still taking the journey, and we just take it day by day. Um, she comes, she gets like a day-long infusion and then comes home with a chemo port, keeps that in for 46 hours, and then And that's every two weeks. Every two weeks, every other week. For six months. Six months. Uh, total of twelve treatments. That's crazy. And then she'll do radiation for five weeks, Monday through Friday after.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

Every day, Monday through Friday for five weeks? Holy fuck.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

And then we go from there.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

That's intense.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah. One step at a time. It's so good if your mom's a fighter though, because like she's taking it like a champ. She is. And she actually looks better.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

I know because before before. Yes, I'm like, I hate saying this because you're going through such like you're going through something that's so much. But um, I mean, one thing with the chemo is it builds up over time. So although she feels like somewhat okay now, like as the more treatments go on, it's gonna get worse. Worse. So we're just just taking care of mom and making sure she's good. Yeah. That is it. Oh, and then my birthday weekend. Birthday weekend the boyfriend and I went to the resort. Love that. Dinner at Beverly's. We went into the infinity pool.

SPEAKER_01 7:39

But you said it they turn it into a hot tub.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Yeah, so it's like 104 degrees, and it was so amazing. That's so crazy to adults only from 7:30 to like 10, right? And it was really nice. Yeah, it was amazing. We just sat in there the whole time. Um, and then yeah. Stayed at the resort, amazing view, woke up with coffee in bed, amazing view. It was great. And then hung out with the kids, Easter, saw the Mario movie. It is so freaking cute. Is it so cute? I like the first one. Uh, me too. And the second one, even better. Like, I laughed, I enjoyed it so much. It was really cute. And we did it in the real 3D, so it actually was good. So, some movies in the real 3D, it's like, why did I even do this in 3D? I agree. That one had a lot of things that did come out in it, probably because it was Mario, but and because it's animated, I think it's easier. I think that they made it specifically like certain things for it to hit, right? Um, but that was so cute.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

This sounds like a way better time than my okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

So that was what I've been up to. Yeah. You tell me. Oh, I'm new prep loaded. I just gotta celebrate that. I've uh I'm down to I'm down 20 pounds since I started prep. Holy shit. Already? Yeah. That's been like it's been like eight weeks, I feel like. That's still fast. 20 pounds.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

It's been eight weeks?

SPEAKER_00 8:53

Yeah, it's been like eight weeks.

SPEAKER_01 8:56

I I needed to lose 10, and guess what? I can I can help you. I still have not lost that. You let me know when you want to like put down those baked goods. I'm not gonna do that. I know. So when you're actually gonna start being more active because it'll be nicer. It's nice outside, yeah. We should go for walks.

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Yeah. Yeah. I can push you in a wheelchair.

unknown 9:16

I don't need that.

SPEAKER_00 9:18

Well, when you get tired.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

But when you get tired. When I take Reagan for walks, we go for almost three miles. Well, that's good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:25

What is your pace?

SPEAKER_01 9:26

Um, I don't know.

unknown 9:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

Slow.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

Like I'm walking my dog. If it were up to her, we'd be jogging, but my knees will not allow that to happen.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

So this is why I'll have like backup in case you need to be pushed.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

I've been in so much pain because I just had seven days on a boat with a bunch of my family. Um and are you down to recommend this again? I okay, cruises are not for me. And I did not know that because this is my first ever cruise. And I'm not gonna like talk down about cruises in general, but like it's one of those like you either like it or you don't, type of things, and I just it's not my jam. Uh partly because I'm sober, right? Everybody's drinking, and you're not. I s celebrated my four-year sober. Congratulations, thank you, on on the boat with a bunch of drunk people.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

On the fourth, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Uh the third.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

The third, okay. It's three days before my birthday. Yep. So why did I think it was the fourth? Sorry. Close enough. I thought it was two days before my birthday, and it's three days.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

The fact that you remember even at all is great. My family was present with me and they brought it up multiple times and they still forgot to do it. Were they drinking? They were drunk most of the time.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

So that's why. That's why.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

Yeah, it's not like a super fun experience to spend a week-long cruise with a bunch of drunk people being vaccinated.

SPEAKER_00 10:44

These are not like you're that are like, I don't know, yes.

SPEAKER_01 10:48

I see these people, and I'm not talking down, but like I'm used to spending maybe four hours a month, and then just been like seven days is a lot. It's just a lot. And yeah, I'm the food wasn't. Well, we did. We I we spent the first couple days like together as a group, but um, it became a lot really fast for me. So I made a conscious effort to like step back and I spend a lot of time in my room because and again, no offense to them. It's just like a lot being a sober person, it was just hard. Then you're like an introvert, so that's a lot of draining on your battery. I used to not be, and now I am big time. Like I've completely reverted. I used to be such an extrovert, it's so crazy. Like I was introverted as a teen, and then as an alcoholic, I was very extroverted, and then as a sober person, I am now an introvert again, full cycle. Like I did a 360. All the way. All the way around, all the way around. And then just like I got my period while on the boat that I'm not even supposed to have, so that was really frustrating. I broke a fingernail. I noticed that you had one less fingernail. Got uh had an allergic reaction to something. We never figured out what it was, but he reads it. So you said the food wasn't good? The food wasn't good, like they didn't believe in cold stuff, which was weird. Like the milk wasn't cold, the cheesecake wasn't cold. Like, things need to be cold. With like lukewarm at best. It was weird. Why? They didn't really believe in seasoning. And I'm a big stickler about seasoning. Like, I'll I go off about it. That's uh I will go on the tangent.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

That would be the one thing that you would enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Yeah, and I honestly, this is what I think it is. It was a Mediterranean-based company, and they just served healthier food.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

And so, like, the desserts weren't sweet, there wasn't a lot of salt, you know what I mean? Like, it so again, not talking down, just not my preference.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

I don't, I I would give anything for delicious food. Like, I don't care if that's gonna I I will be fat if it means that I can eat delicious food. You're like, I don't want the health stuff. I don't want the health stuff. I don't so like other people really enjoyed it, and not everything was bad. Like, I had a lamb shank that was chef's kiss to die for. So, like, there was good things, but in an overall sense, I want to indulge and it didn't feel indulging. Especially since that was like the one thing I got.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

You do look skinnier coming back.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Thanks. I lost five pounds.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

I was like, I thought it would go the other way.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

No, me too. I was fully prepared to come back heavier and be like, I'm gonna just have to put the work in, and then I came back five pounds lighter.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

Because you were walking around.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Walking a lot.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

Yeah, no, I definitely drop weight. Um, in Long Beach I did too. Well, my macros actually, I was riding the same macros and cardio for like ever. We just changed, drop by like 10 up to 30 minutes of cardio, but walking around my steps, like it's like 30,000 steps. I'm just walking so much, and it's like that does more than like the 30 minutes of cardio, more than anything. Yeah, just the steady state movement of moving your body.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

When I lost that, I lost 40 pounds, remember, at one point. I went from 160 to 120, which was too small. So then I went back up and then I went too far. And now I have to, you know, rain. And it's a dial. I'm not gonna have food. It's fine. We're at the age where it's like I say we're gonna have. And you look like that. Like I'm the one that ever I'm glad you're self-aware. Because in my brain, I'm like, she don't get it.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

I do like good food though.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Yeah, but you also like look slightly, slightly like half an inch wider during non-prep, and you lose your fucking mind.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

I was like, I'm finally back into my like normal like pants and stuff. I was like, there was a there was a few weeks at the end of the off season there where I felt that I was enjoying life.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

I have been wearing pants that have been too small for like eight months because I am convinced that I'm gonna fit in them again instead of just like giving in and buying a size eight. I'm like, no. I will nope and I will just deal with my fucking breadloaf and sell fit. Bread loaf. We are beyond a muffin top. Listen. I don't see it. But I refuse. I refuse to buy all new pants. I'm not doing it. So if you see me and I'm pudgy, it's a choice.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

Yes, take her out to good food.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

That's Oh, take me out to good food. Oh, I'm going to Supper Club all by my lonesome on Wednesday. So I'm gonna get good food because it's gonna be at Satay Bistro in Court Lane, which has delicious food if you've never been there. Their salmon is good. Yeah, and it's like a tasting thing I've had from their situation. So I get like four or five courses and very exciting. Nice.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Yeah. You should like document this and start doing this on like your socials.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

I I've gone to quite a bit of a few. And like do like an over.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

Yes, and like you can just do a voiceover, like film it, and then you can say, I really enjoy like because you have so much. I'm not tech savvy. I talk. I can help you. You just push the button and do voiceover. I'll show you. But that's what I mean, like you talking about it. You don't have to show your face, but like over like you talking about the food as you're showing it and how much you enjoyed it because you give such an honest opinion. People like I do give a really honest opinion. I would come and I would listen to you because you're gonna be you're very one thing I really enjoy about you is you're always very like non-biased. You can always remain neutral in a lot of situations. Thank you. Um so yeah, you can always do that.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

I think that's true. I try to. I very much am like, let's listen to both sides.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Yeah, I know. I remember when you were on Luke's side one time and that really annoyed me.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

And I'm like, I was. I know, and I wasn't even his biggest fan. I know.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

That's what made me, and it took me many years of our friendship for me to realize that was not a personal attack on me. That's just how you are. And it still bugs me though.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

Um that's very good. Because you want to know why, but it's true.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Like I will look at the situation like I'm But I want you to automatically hate everybody I do.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

And I do. But for the most part. I do, but I can also still tell when you're wrong. I do! But can we just agree that as best friend?

SPEAKER_00 17:08

I'm never wrong. No, I cannot agree to that. I'm still. We're gonna agree to disagree, and it just hurts my feelings, just so you know. But good thing I'm never wrong. Good thing I'm never wrong. Okay. Not as of lately.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

As of lately, I've been you're doing you're on a streak. You're doing very well. And it's not like I don't call myself.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

I'm the first one to be like my bad.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

This is like, you will you always have my back in everything, but you also are very logical where I'm just like, who the fuck hurt you? I'm gonna murder them. I shouldn't say that on here, but you know what I mean. Yes, I don't mean you just need to tell me someone hurt your feelings, and I'm like, they're dead to me. Yeah, they're dead to me. Like, I don't care. Then their family, murder you.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

You threaten burn down. I was gonna say you threaten to burn down Carrie shit. You know, like I'll set it all on fire. What do you want me to do?

SPEAKER_00 17:58

Literally and figuratively.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

I'll burn his whole life.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

I'm like, do we have to be PC? Because I can cut them down without them even noticing. Like, should we do that? Angela pass it. I mean, who is it? I will take that.

SPEAKER_01 18:15

Do I need to put a mask on and go follow someone? No, I do need you to get the men in my life to stop coming back around. You're getting zombied over and over by the same people. Like, okay, there's a part of me that's too good about it because I'm all like, I was never the problem. Because it reaffirms that I don't. See, should I when I'm Because I give people 80 million chances. Yes. I'm working on it, I'm getting better. The situation with Hawaii, like, okay. So I don't know if we've talked about who Hawaii is, but I Yes, we did. And one of your times where he took a new He asked girlfriend while we were actively dating, he asked me if I would be upset if he took his ex-girlfriend on an all-inclusive paid trip to Hawaii that he won at work instead of me, and then still wanted to meet wanted me to be his girlfriend when he came back. So you can imagine how that ended. And that like it just, yeah, there's other parts to that, but that's the gist. So that's why I call him Hawaii because that's where the trip was, and we will always remember. Has not spoken to me for five years. Five years, and this boy reaches out.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Because he thinks about you.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Apparently, apparently, because it was long, and literally it starts with gosh, dot dot dot dot dot. I've got a thing to say that has taken me dot dot dot well, five years. So fully aware, fully aware that he is not.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

I can smell the desperation from here.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

He's reached out just like in a non like just a regular, like friendly type of way. Like football and sports. Like that's what we've talked about in the last five years.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

But the last time was James. It's so wild to me that you leave these doors open. I not only shut the door, I fucking padlock the door. I cement any creaks or like air to get through, and then I'm like, who? It's this weird ability that I have.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

It's a great ability. Listen, when it came to Fat Roger, I moved. I literally sold my house and moved to a different state to get away from that person and make sure that person had no way of getting a hold of me.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

So yeah, this person is harmless in the grand scheme.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Correct. Like, he's not even on my permanent record. We dated less than 90 days. It was a weird little time of my life, but not enough significance. Okay, so like, right. It was it was just a thing that happened. So, like, whatever. But then for like the I I'm not gonna read this whole thing because it's really long. It's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight different messages.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

Yeah, we don't need the novel.

SPEAKER_01 21:02

I'm not, we're not gonna. The cliff notes is sent is simply like he tried to be like, hey, I really liked you, everyone does ha ha. Um, I wasn't happy with myself, so like it wasn't you, it was me. Uh, end result, I have a few regrets in my life, and you're one of them. That that's summary, okay? And it sounds great until you remember what the fuck you did.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Yeah, and you could never trust that person. Yeah, so thanks for the apology though.

SPEAKER_01 21:30

Yes, and I was so proud of myself because that's exactly what I did. I said, Thank you for apologizing. I appreciate that. I was definitely a different person then, so I understand the sentiment, and I left it. And I'm so proud of myself. Yes, progress. That is huge. Getting better, and then like two days after this, motorcycle reaches out after five months. And I just we had the exact same fucking process, exact same conversation led to the exact same result. And I'm like, why? Why can't you guys just accept and move on and be done and leave me alone? And yes, you're right, I need to do a better job. But I am getting doing it. No, you're doing you're doing good. You're doing good because I ended the conversation with motorcycle with and nothing has changed. Yes. We're in the exact same spot, so there's no point in you coming here. There's no point in us meeting. There's no you know what I mean? So he was gonna fly here and I talked him out of it. So I am doing better.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Yeah, because you're like, that's a lot of effort for me to not even get off. So I'm just saying what you would be able to do.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Oh my god, fucking facts, bro.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

That's a lot. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

And then hand print came around because he was all depressed, and then we hooked up, and the second we hooked up, I haven't heard from him since.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

I'm gonna get you a portal. I'm gonna get you a teeny tiny vibrator for you to put in your purse just so you don't have to be let down in case. At least then you could get something out of this. Because I feel like you're just getting sacrificed. You're just giving and never receiving at this point.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

God, story of my life.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

You need to fix this.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

How do you think you're like can't relate? You're all happy in your relationship. Yes, I really am. Yeah, opposite ends of the spectrum, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:26

I went through a very, very awful relationship um post Luke.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

So I guess you have a you have a happy relationship sandwich, you bitch. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:39

Um and my sex life is amazing. Like I have to say, like remote. Yeah. I know. Not really. We can discuss more.

SPEAKER_01 23:48

Oh no, yeah, that's not on microphone conversation.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

We could be. That would be one of the uh subscriber only. Uh yeah, we'll put that on our Patreon.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

But things to look forward to, and that's what matters. Because so my birthday is in July, so I got time. You're gonna be older than me. Four months. Um, but I bought me and the boys, we're gonna go and do a six-hour ghost hunt at St. Ignatius Hospital. Where is this? In Colfax. I want to go. You can buy a ticket, you can come. I'm so excited. That is how I chose to spend my 40th birthday. Why did you not even invite me? I'm going with you. I did. I did. We've talked about it before, but we have so much shit going on. We are gonna work together this weekend, this weekend, next weekend, and weekend. Is it three weekends in a row?

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Well, you're going to the third. I'm only going to two because then I'm going into Florida. You're going to Emerald Cup. I am not. It's kind of crazy. Weird. We're going to Big Sky this weekend, and then we'll be here the following week.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Oh, good. It is here. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Uh, Northern Quest.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

I have very much minimal info.

SPEAKER_00 24:59

Northern Quest.

SPEAKER_01 25:00

I have a place and a time. Yep. And that's all I need. And you just that's all I need.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

I'll be there. Be there. Yep. Oh, this. We'll see if we survive this trip because we're going to be together overnight. I knew. For those. For one night. That's all it took one time. We have not yet successfully had a road trip. Oh my god, we've never had one night together successful.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

No.

SPEAKER_00 25:24

Actually, no.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

No, that can't be true.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Yeah, I think it may be no two nights. I think we survived one night. It's always the second day.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

And this is only one.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

Friday, Saturday.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

Because I yeah, but it's one night.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

I think we're fine. We've come so far. And there'll be other people.

SPEAKER_01 25:38

Not that that stays. I'm not level, but.

SPEAKER_00 25:41

Okay, so I feel like all of our other problems were like sober now. Yes. A surgery related or B drinking related. Yes, and like I don't re- Yeah, I didn't remember. I didn't have a bad time in Seattle. I woke up and just wondered where you were. So to be fair, I love that I didn't have a bad I I was just curious as to why my romper was fastened backwards because that was a fucking choice.

SPEAKER_01 26:07

It is funny though. Yeah, we we but okay, also we're not driving together and back. We're only driving back together.

SPEAKER_00 26:14

Yeah, so we're testing the series.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

We're easing in slowly.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

This is so funny.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

We can't afford to break up again.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

No, we're fine. We are gonna be, it's gonna be a long sleep deprived day.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Oh my god, the fucking bed on the boat was so awful. I have not slept great in a long time. So no worries here. Yeah, last night I was so tired. I didn't even fall asleep. I literally passed out. My bed was still up, my phone was in my hand, like my glasses were on my face. So, like, that's not you know, and then I woke up at like five and I was like, God damn it, I was finally in my own bed and I've ruined it. So then I laid it down and got all comfy or whatever, but by that point I was like, fuck, I have to be up in like three hours. Yeah, I was waiting for you to just wake up. I still didn't get to enjoy sleeping in my bed tonight. My dogs were so excited. I was like, who needs people? I felt so much love when I walked into that house.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

You're the crazy dog lady.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

I am, and I'm I'm not even ashamed of it.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Who was watching your dogs? Skylar.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Oh, yes, because Skylar was a child. Yeah, I just was he didn't go with us, so I was about to get very cute. He already lives there, so it was actually hella convenient. And then he was like, We get home, and he's like, I am so excited that there are other people here. He's like, six dogs is too much. And I'm like, dude, I live this every day. Like, who are you talking to right now? I'm like, I work with this happening like all the time, all the fucking time. So he couldn't handle a fucking week with just him and the dogs. It was really funny, but grateful. I gave him a hundred bucks. I was like, thank you. And he cleaned the house. Oh, how nice. I know, and he found this.

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Yes, I found mine too. It was really weird. I'm like, wow. Um, okay, well, and now that we're all caught up, yeah. That was a lot, sorry. That was good because we haven't really done a catch up because it's been like three weeks. Because we recorded.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

We had to record extra episodes because we were both kind of better on.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

You guys want to hear what we're doing, anyways. And today's topic pretty privilege. Again. But we touched on it a long time ago. This time, yeah. This time, actually, I have we had asked for you to send us your pretty privileged stories or questions or whatever writing in, and we actually got several responses.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

Fun. Um, and I have circling round.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

Yes, so we gotta like bring it back. I always say we're gonna bring the listener stuff in, and this time we really are. Um, so we have three. Okay. Um, one's pretty like I tried to choose ones that like everybody kind of relate to. Sure. Um, there are some like off-the-wall ones, which we should just save for like another point in time, like where we just read everything off the wall.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

Yes, like unhinged.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

Off the wall episode of text that we get. That'll be fun. Questions, random ass things that we get. So we should definitely do that.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

We should definitely do that.

SPEAKER_00 29:09

But these ones fall right in line, which is why I figured we needed to do the pretty privilege again because these are there's some questions. Um, so let me get to You gotta find it. Yes, well, because I had my phone off completely. Because why would I be prepared? Why? I'm not ever.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

Literally, I show up and I'm like, tell me what we're talking about. Tell me what we're doing.

SPEAKER_00 29:36

Okay, perfect. We are going to do our I have them. I have them. Here they are. Okay. So we all know what pretty privilege is. If I can even say that, why can't I say that? Getting special treatment because of your looks, basically. Um, okay, so we talked about this before. Everyone knows what it is. Yes. Um, okay, so this is our first reader submission. Are they anonymous? Um, they are anonymous. Okay. I mean, they're not necessarily anonymous to us. But we're gonna read them anonymously. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Perfect. Look at us.

SPEAKER_00 30:07

Protecting privacy. Yes, you know, they all have like little nicknames at the end because we're good at that.

SPEAKER_01 30:11

If you reach out, we'll protect you.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

Yes, unless you want to be, we always protect you.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

I think we protect everyone's anonymity unless it's like they're on the podcast themselves. Uh-huh. Well, unless we don't like you.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Unless there's like public information that others can look up, so we're not doing anything wrong.

SPEAKER_00 30:27

Also, if we don't like you.

SPEAKER_01 30:30

We try to use nicknames.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

The two can be the same.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

We do try to use nicknames. Sometimes we slip, but I feel like.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

If a simple Google search provides what you need to know, we're just gonna go ahead and do it for you.

SPEAKER_01 30:40

And I feel like the ones that we slip on are the ones who deserve to be called out, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

And it's just hard facts. So sorry if you don't like it. Shouldn't have done it. Sorry, not sorry. Shouldn't have done it. Okay. Okay. Hi girls, I need your honest take because my friends are split on this. I'm a 27-year-old woman and I've always been told I'm conventionally attractive. I take care of myself, I dress well, etc. Recently at work, I got promoted over someone who has been there longer and honestly probably has more experience. Since then, I've had multiple coworkers make comments like, must be nice to be pretty, or we all know why you got that role. That's fucked. Here's the thing: I do work hard. I show up early, I'm good with clients, and my boss has always given me positive feedback, but I also can't ignore that I get treated really well in general. Free things, people going out of their way to help me, etc. Now I'm in my head wondering, did I actually earn this promotion or did my appearance play a bigger role than I want to admit? And also, why does it feel like other women are the ones judging me the hardest? Oof. Am I benefiting from pretty privilege, or are people just projecting? Be honest, I can take it. Signed. Confused but cute.

SPEAKER_01 31:49

Okay. I so I work in corporate America. Yes, this is why I thought this one would actually land really well. You have no idea how hard this hits because okay, I don't consider myself conventionally attractive.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

You are you are nerd attractive. I am if that's like a thing that's a third thing.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

I'm nerdy attractive. You're nerd pretty. And I'm not gonna lie, I have a decent body.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

And you're corporate America pretty because when you get dressed up and you have the heels and you're very put together. Yes. You're like pinup pretty. Thank you. Like that's like a pin-up, like you're very pinup style.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Yeah, and it's very corporate America pretty.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

And I had I had an issue where people accused, I had a very great relationship with my boss because he was like really mentoring me and helping me develop my skill, and I was actively in school for business administration. Like I was I was pushing myself in all the things, and I wore, you know, figure-flattering clothing, but business attire always. You've always had a nice little body. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 32:47

You have plate, you have curves, you have nice boobs.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Yeah. I got a shape. Yes, you so but like people would uh accuse me of sleeping with him, first off, and then when I got promoted, oh my god. You also have like a flirty extrovert personality naturally in like I think you're you just described me as flirty a little bit, yeah, I don't think anyone has ever described you as flirty.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

In like an under in your business, like not like flirt, like not like sexual flirty, but you're very like confident, assertive, and you have no problem in the world. In the business world. In the business world. It like is a different kind of lacy, and you're like, here I am, and I own this stuff, and you have no problem talking to someone, you'll get close to someone, you'll get in, and you just like there's no it's like a different person. It's weird, huh? Yes. It's because I'm acting. Yes. So I'm just saying, but that is you. I've seen it. Yeah. Now that you're at home, it's a little bit different, but I have seen it.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

No, that's very fair.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

Like yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

And I work hard. Like, yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

We always talk if you do 10% more than it was required, or is it like 5% more? Yeah, I don't know. There's there's a formula. I don't remember the numbers, but it works.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

Correct. And I've been promoted a lot.

SPEAKER_00 34:00

A lot. You always are getting promoted.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

Well, this is the longest I've ever been in one position since being with this company, and I've been in this position for four and a half years, and it's driving me crazy. I very much feel like I need to be promoted. It's driving me nuts. I might quit. Um don't shuffle. If you put in this long, don't do that. I know, it's driving me crazy. I know, but like literally, like normally three years or less, I'm getting promoted. So like I feel very stagnant right now, and it's a struggle for me. I have to have growth in my life. Like, I'm addicted to growth. Like, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

If we could if we could shuffle that into like some personal or like dating, it feels like stuck on work.

SPEAKER_01 34:38

I know.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

I just fine.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

It works at work. But I'm saying, like, I understand how she feels. I and it sucks because it does make you question yourself, but like you have to know who you are, and you have to know the work that you put in, and it sounds like obviously I don't work with her, I don't know her or anything like that, but it very much sounds like she's put the work in. Yes. And I don't think that time in a company tells ability. There are people in my company who have been there longer than me who can't do shit, can't do jack shit. There are people there that are higher than me, there are people there that make more money than me that I am better than, and you just have to know that and own that and like fuck the haters. Yeah. I do not think that she from the sounds of it, it does not sound like she got promoted for pretty privilege, and it makes me really sad that she feels that way.

SPEAKER_00 35:26

I think people are definitely projecting, yeah, especially women, because women are the worst. The fucking worst.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

The worst.

SPEAKER_00 35:33

It's usually the ones that are also unattractive.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Sometimes. And not always, honestly. Not always.

SPEAKER_00 35:40

Okay, either or they're insecure and they can't handle it.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

It's about insecurity. It doesn't matter what you look like, it's about whether or not you're secure.

SPEAKER_00 35:46

Okay, this is true because if you're secure in yourself, you would not bring another woman down. Yeah. And you would not say like someone that looks like.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

Everybody talks about like women have to lift women up, but in practice, that is not the majority. I women tear women down more than men tear women down. Like, especially for women talking shit on men saying they tear us down. Women tear women down way more and way harder than men ever will. And I've worked in my company for 17 years. There were two years where I was marked as a threshold employee, got no raise, no bonus, working as hard as I do. I did not deserve it. I I feel very confident to say I did not deserve to be considered threshold threshold, and both time is when I had a woman boss. Both fucking times. Because they see you as competition instead of you know somebody to lean on. Like instead, like it's I'm in healthcare. It is still a male-dominated field. And instead of being like, we need to stick together as women in this field, they they're like, there's only limited spots for us, so bitch, it's you or me. And that's awful. And I very much feel like that's what this is.

SPEAKER_00 36:53

Yeah. Yeah. No, I think uh I think it's projecting. Also, um not that this is the case, but both can be true. You could be a hard worker and you're pretty, and you're getting and you're getting a little bit of both. Also, pretty to me can be your personality. So if you're nice, bubbly, kind, you're automatically attractive. Those are qualities that you want in an employee. You want someone's personality to shine through, you want someone who's nice and friendly. And so to me.

SPEAKER_01 37:18

And let me tell you, it's not all about talent. That plays a factor, like especially presentation of yourself to the world.

SPEAKER_00 37:27

Is huge. Okay, and not saying that you have to be like stereotypical pretty, but you can take care of yourself in a way that you present well.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Yep. And that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

Yeah. So confused but cute. No, I don't think that you're pretty prover privil. That is hard to say.

SPEAKER_00 37:44

It is, and I don't know why. I don't know why.

SPEAKER_01 37:49

Who fucking cares? Oh just own being a hard worker.

SPEAKER_00 37:52

Yes. And who yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

That's it. Just continue to work hard. As long as you don't rely on it, you're fine. Boom. Next one. All right.

SPEAKER_00 38:02

That was fun.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

I liked it.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

It was. Okay. Um, our next one. Hi girls. I already know I'm going to get judged for this, but I need you to be brutally honest.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

I will, and I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 38:18

We will, but you're you're anonymous, so it's safe. Um, I've been seeing this guy for about three months. He is unfortunately one of the hottest men I've ever seen in my life.

SPEAKER_01 38:27

Did they say unfortunately?

SPEAKER_00 38:30

He is yes.

SPEAKER_01 38:31

Unfortunately, he's one of the hottest. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

Yeah. Oof. Like objectively ridiculous, tall tattoos, perfect teeth, the whole thing.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Good for you.

SPEAKER_00 38:40

Here's the issue. Okay. He's actually the worst.

SPEAKER_01 38:43

Oh no. Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

That's where the unfortunately comes in. Apparently.

SPEAKER_01 38:50

So sad.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Okay, he takes hours, sometimes a full day, to text back. Cancels plans last minute, randomly goes MIA, and I'm pretty sure he's still talking to other girls. But then when I see him in person, he's so charming and attentive that I completely forget why I was mad. Big girl. The other night he literally said, I'm not really looking for anything serious right now. And I said, That's totally fine. Which it is not. All in the right. So you are in a situation ship.

SPEAKER_01 39:23

That's definition situationship.

SPEAKER_00 39:26

If this was any other man, I would have blocked him after week two. My friends keep saying I'm only tolerating this because he's hot. And honestly, I think they might be right. They are. But also, I feel like our connection is different. Bunch of question marks. Am I being delusional or is this just how dating works now? Please humble me if needed. Standing in my own way. Okay, standing in my own way.

SPEAKER_01 39:51

So this brings up a very important thing about being self-aware does not mean being capable.

SPEAKER_02 39:58

It's a choice. It's a choice.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

It's a choice because you know. Like you, you just and I get it, because sometimes you're like, I need reassurance. Like, I just need someone else to be like, bitch, what are you doing? And bitch, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 40:13

We're humbling you quickly.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

You know. You are okay.

SPEAKER_00 40:17

You can keep him around for a booty call, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 40:20

It's a situation chip, 100%. It's not gonna go anywhere. You're wasting your time. You're gonna hurt only yourself in the end. Yes, he is attentive when he sees you because he wants sex. Who cares if he's attractive?

SPEAKER_00 40:32

If he wanted to, he would.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

Yeah. 100%. We're living in that era. Don't ex- This is not okay. I'm sorry. Girl, listen to your friends. They're being honest with you. Like, this is bad. Get away. I know I know it's hard. Because I get attached to unattractive people in that way. Like, I mean, good for you for finding a cute one. But no. Move the fuck on.

SPEAKER_00 41:00

Um, I fully agree. Fully agree there. Um there's just no getting around. I mean, unless you 100% just want a hookup. Yeah. Which in this day and age, people can just hook up and nothing. But it sounds like can you accept that? But it sounds like she doesn't even like him. She just likes that he's hot. Yeah. And there's nothing else. Well, okay, when they're together. But that's the thing. No, that's what makes it a situation ship.

SPEAKER_01 41:23

That is my handprint. Okay, that came out weird. But like you know what I mean, right? Like, that's that's exactly how my relationship with hand print was. Like, he's a more attractive fella than me. He only calls me when he wants something. Like, it's it's the exact same fucking situation. You you have to just stop.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

Just run away.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

That yeah, block, go away. I was born running. Yes. It's me. It's you. Not running anymore though. It just took a minute. Um, okay, yeah, get the fuck out. Yeah. Run away. Run away. Okay, well, that one was easy. Yeah. That was easy.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Because she knows.

SPEAKER_00 42:09

Yeah, I picked that one because I felt like a lot of people are in that scenario. 100%. And there was actually several that kind of paralleled that.

SPEAKER_01 42:16

And the question of saying, like, is this how dating is now? It's sad to say. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:21

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

You have to find-cause you still have to have standards for yourself. You don't have to just fucking accept that this is the way it is.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

Well, in this day and age, uh, well, how old we are, the people that are left over, there's a reason. So a lot of men just don't want to like, unless they're a widow. I have to say, unless you're like, go find yeah, unless you like find someone whose partner died, you're finding someone who is like either has a commitment issue, has some sort of like issue, yeah, or is fucking traumatized and doesn't want to get in a relationship, therefore commitment issues. So there's reasons. Okay. Should we read a male perspective now? Yeah. I didn't.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

I love that we got one.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

It was the only one. That's fine though.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 43:06

That's fine.

SPEAKER_01 43:06

I'm just I love that we have dudes that listen.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

So I had only like scanned this one. I was like, yeah, we just know.

SPEAKER_01 43:12

You're just like, it's a dude, we're gonna do it. Because I think we need it.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

So we'll see what comes out. To be fair, that's me. I skim everything. I'm like, oh yeah, no.

SPEAKER_01 43:21

You look at it.

SPEAKER_00 43:23

It's fine. No, I do read, yeah, just you know, not in depth. Okay, so hey, I feel like I'm about to get cooked, but I'm genuinely trying to understand if I'm in the wrong here. I'm 29, and yeah, I know I'm considered attractive. I stay in shape, I take care of how I look, and I've never really struggled with dating, but I don't think I'm doing anything that bad. Okay, so what are you doing? I take girls on dates. I'm respectful, I'm not rude or mean. I just don't go out of my way to define things or push for commitment. I kind of let things exist where they are. A pattern I've noticed in is that women tend to get attached pretty quickly, even when I haven't promised anything. I'm not love bombing, I'm not saying I want a relationship, I'm just being present when I'm with them. Does he listen to our podcast? Because I feel like he hits a lot of these points. It's weird that a man is. Anyways, he's like getting like weird.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

Um It's like they have a playbook, to be honest. Like, do is it handed out at birth? Is this what you guys get in sex ed in high school?

SPEAKER_00 44:26

Like, yes.

SPEAKER_01 44:27

Okay, so and it's funny because it they got they think they're unique.

SPEAKER_00 44:31

Yes, I know. It keeps going, it does not get better. Okay. Um, he's not love bombing or anything. But then when I pull back or keep things casual, it becomes this whole thing where I'm suddenly the bad guy. I've had multiple women tell me I'm leading them on, but I don't feel like I am. I think they're filling in blanks that I never actually said. At the same time, I can't ignore that they keep giving me chances even after I show them I'm not trying to be serious. So now I'm wondering: is this just dating in 2026, or am I unintentionally taking advantage of the fact that I know they like me more than I like them? Be honest. Signed, not a bad guy. Dot dot dot. Right.

SPEAKER_01 45:10

Okay. First off, it's so concerning how many people are like, this is just how it is now, right? Like we just we just have to accept this, right? Like that's how we got here in the first place, and it's by people just accepting less. We have to stop accepting less.

SPEAKER_00 45:27

Also, no one's communicating what they want anymore.

SPEAKER_01 45:32

I was gonna say, I it's wrong if you don't set the expectation from the very, very beginning. Like before you do anything, like I'm down to hang as friends or be friends with benefits, and that is it. If you communicate that and then she catches feelings, that's on her. And I can say that because that happened to me. Very clear boundaries. I'm the one who is like, shit, I had to walk away from the situation, and that's okay, but like that, then that's on you. But if you do not clearly set that boundary, then that's on the dude. Because you are leading them on, because you are not telling them that this is never and you can't be like, oh, after the fact, after they've already started developing feelings, after they've we've already built this fucking bond, and they think that it's gonna be something, then I say something, you're an asshole. You're a fucking asshole. Sorry, not sorry.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

No, not sorry. Um, yeah, no, honest communication, what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

You want them to think that it's gonna be more because you want that from them.

SPEAKER_00 46:38

Or do you think that the men are just keeping their options open and they're just going, no, they just want all the options?

SPEAKER_01 46:44

I think they just want the the good, the like they want the sucky. They suck it. It's like a They want the sucky.

SPEAKER_00 46:50

I'm like, I'm sure they do, Lacey.

SPEAKER_01 46:53

I don't know why it came out that way. My brain was like, they're like a sponge. They want the sucky. Fucking autism. Like, I can't I cannot always put what I'm thinking into words.

SPEAKER_00 47:08

But you know, I can't always put what I'm thinking in my mouth, and I'm like, that's how you get started. It's not that hard. Love for me, it is.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

But physically incapable. My lips don't do that. But it's a sponge. They want like I've literally me and uh Handprint have had this conversation because we had the boundaries, and like we have talked openly about like how it affects people, which is weird that we have, but like he's fully aware that like he is taking the best, like taking it, like the cuddling, the caring, the buying you things when you're sick, the what all the like wonderful parts of having a girlfriend without any of the commitment. Like they're doing that on purpose. That's a you know what I mean? Like they crave that.

SPEAKER_00 47:59

Do you remember when I started dating Johnny Bravo and I didn't know how to be just a girlfriend? And I was because I was a wife for so long, and I took talking. Okay, well, I very much had this internal conflict where I'm like, I don't know how to be a girlfriend, I just know how to be a wife, and I need to back it up. Yes, and I need to back it up because this person who ended up just conning me and using me took advantage of that. So, widows out there, and take some time for yourself, figure out how to be a girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

Anyone coming out of a long-term relationship, because I have the exact same issue. Like when I went from I've spent nine and a half years with Susan Aaron Carter. It's hard to go. And then when me and Fat Roger got together, I gave an equal level of effort to that brand new relationship that I did to the one that was nine and a half years.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

I feel like when you come out of it too, like I don't know, I guess there was always a honeymoon phase when you go through things in the beginning, but it's like it's different when you come out of a long-term relationship because you're used to being settled. And so you're not necessarily seeking those extreme like dopamine highs. You're just more wanting to be settled and comfortable. So you look for different things than maybe you would going into a new relationship.

SPEAKER_01 49:04

Well, and you know what, it and it's hard to not fall into the same old pattern. So, like he said, like they keep giving him additional chances. So he's like so hard.

SPEAKER_00 49:13

And it's like it's working for him. So it's just reinforcing the behavior.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

Again, he's very self-aware that he's attractive, knows what he's doing. Yes. No, he even starts, oh, you're gonna cook me. You know what you're doing. Yes, and you don't feel bad about it because you're continuing to do it.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

He's like, I'm not love bombing. I mean, he's basically he's like, I'm giving bare minimum, and they're still doing whatever.

SPEAKER_01 49:35

Because bare minimum right now is higher than most women give.

SPEAKER_00 49:38

This guy, the other girl, the girl, the guy that's talking. No, it's not. But I mean, like, that would be funny because that's like parallel. If you think about it, those could be like the opposite.

SPEAKER_01 49:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:47

Just getting bare minimum. But no, that other girl didn't say that he said that.

SPEAKER_01 49:51

That's the pri the bar is so fucking low. And that's that's w how we got where we are. We need to raise the bar across men and women. If you're a good guy, if you're a good girl, raise the fucking bar. Let's get back to making people be good people. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

Stay out of situationships, stay away, bad. Unless you just want, unless it's defined. I mean, as adults, you can just do you can hook up whoever you want, but it needs to be like well defined, I feel like.

SPEAKER_01 50:19

Yeah, you have to know what you're getting yourself into. At the beginning, communicate. And so that's the verdict, in my opinion. As long as you are telling them from the very, very, very, very, very, very beginning, then that's on them. But if you didn't at all, that's on you. And I think that's fair.

SPEAKER_00 50:36

So he's cooked. You're wrong. Is he wrong? Yeah. He knows what he's doing. Basically, yeah. I'm like, we're just not gonna validate that.

SPEAKER_01 50:44

So yeah. I've too I've seen too many men speak to the fact that they are very aware of what they're doing to not like to give anyone the benefit of the doubt in that situation.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

So thankful I'm that was fun. I we I love this. Right? Yeah, we do that more often. Well, we're actually stuff.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

Send anything, keep sending it.

SPEAKER_00 51:02

I'm I'm back. I feel like we're back and we're like, we have more, I don't know, I'm more creative, doing more things. We have like piles of things to get through.

SPEAKER_01 51:10

We we uh really thought about changes for this season. And we're putting them into practice.

SPEAKER_00 51:15

We're implementing now growth. I love it. So good. All right, everybody. Well, we will talk to you next week. Until then. Bye. Stay safe out there. Good call.