The Girls Girl Myth

“Women support women” is one of those lines that sounds great on a mug and falls apart the second somebody levels up. We start with the uncomfortable question: is the “girl’s girl” thing real, or do people only support you when you stay small, miserable, or safely behind them?

We talk through the full spectrum of female friendship, from teenage mean girl culture to adult frenemies who smile to your face and compete in silence. We get into what changes when you look more confident, when you start making more money, and when success becomes visible in the workplace. You’ll hear our take on pretty privilege, mentorship that’s preached but not practiced, and why “women empowering women” can sometimes be more branding than behavior.

Then we go deeper on jealousy and competition, especially in the age of social media comparison. We break down how algorithms feed insecurity, why rage bait makes money, and how to use jealousy as data instead of letting it run your life. We also share real-world boundaries around relationships, including the homewrecker dynamic and what it looks like when a partner shuts it down the right way.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re being “too sensitive” or you’re simply noticing patterns, you’ll leave with clearer language, sharper boundaries, and a better standard than labels: be a person’s person and let actions prove loyalty. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs this, and leave a review. What’s your definition of real support?

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Transcript

Women Supporting Women? Really

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Women support women. Unless she's prettier, skinnier, happier, funnier, dating a good man, successful, confident, thriving online, or accidentally post too much.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

So literally, as long as you're miserable, you're fucking great.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Great. Misery loves company, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Oh my god, facts.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

Don't be fucking happy.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

It depends on what kind, because you know, some of us isolate.

SPEAKER_00 0:32

Some of us do. Well, that opens today with our topic. Well, now I'll say I'll say our topic now. Um, women supporting women. Is it real?

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Are women okay? That is a good question because it is one of those things that every woman says and like 10% actually participate in. Right.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

So we have a lot of yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

I think that women are almost more, I mean, they're more mean to each other than men are to women.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Yes, facts, and it starts at a young age. I have teenage daughters, and I thought maybe I don't this day and age would have been different, but it's not.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

They're mean. There is no meaner species on planet Earth than a teenage girl. I swear facts. I'm so glad I have boys because damn, they will destroy your soul. Like they they they get at you mentally, right? But everyone puts on a front. Everybody puts out like think

Mean Girls Start Young

SPEAKER_01 1:40

of like the girl groups that were in middle school or in high school that like they stuck together, but they were not beneath talking shit behind each other's backs.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Oh no, exactly. Um, well, Lily has her whole little group friend, and it's just like she is such like me and like just real and authentic in herself. And there's definitely this group of girls who are like jealous, and then some that pretend to be friends, and then you hear things, and it's just it does not change. No. Um it's just girl culture, which really fucking sucks.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Yeah, and because even as you get older, it's still there, it doesn't go on.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

It does not change. Um I okay, this is funny. This is I get approached, and people are more friendly, women are more friendly to me in off-season than on season.

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Yeah, I could see that.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

People are thinking I'm friendly and more approachable.

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Because you are less confident when you are off season.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

I think it's an appearance thing. I look heavier.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

I'm not as no, that's that's I don't think that it's that it's your brain tricking you. You don't look you think you look like a nine-day difference between peak and off peak, and baby, let me tell you. It's no, you look

Off-Season Looks And RBF

SPEAKER_01 2:55

toner for sure, but you don't look bigger.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

But there's a difference. But I love you for this.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

It's a softness versus a toneness. That is the only fucking difference.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

But I just think it's more approachable. It's a more approachable look.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

I think it's because you are slightly diminished. No, because I don't know how you talk about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

No, I physically feel better in off-season, so that's not an accurate statement. It is 100% a more approachable thing. Just because you look softer? I think it's just a more approachable look. I think when you look at someone who's more hardened and lean, and I probably have a RBF because I'm in the middle of prep, it's more unapproachable than someone who's bubbly and like, you know, it's just different. So I guess it could be that too.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

But there is definitely like I've never experienced the when you feel the opposite.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

I guess it could be like also when I look prettier. People are like more.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

But that's what I'm saying. You look pretty the whole time. You look you are too hard on yourself.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

You have never experienced someone hating on you because you have a pretty face and it shows.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

Never in my life. Never fucking once. That's never been. You never I literally had a man tell me every day for two and a half years that he didn't like my face. So no, we are not on the same same path here. Can we not relate? But from being a girl's girl, like I feel like I am aggressive, but I support.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

What about your insuccess? Do you find that women treat you different because um of your success, your financial success, or your success in work? You have. I know you have in the workplace. It's the same thing. You know what was it? Same thing for me, but different.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

When I when like when I bought my house, what people who like don't know what I do or how much I make or whatever, they just see like this girl buying a house that size, you know, and people were like, what the fuck? Remember, my neighbor asked if I sold photos. He thought he assumed

Success, Work, And Resentment

SPEAKER_01 5:05

I think he just wanted photos. He's that actually because well, I work from home, so I was just home all the time.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

He actually just wanted photos of you. He did not do that. We still was hoping. You're like, I'm broke, but not that broke.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

I right. My level of broke is a different level of broke, and that's why I am where I am. But but yeah, I feel like people get surprised when they find out that I have a master's degree. I think they get surprised when they figure out how much I get paid at my job because I earned it. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 5:37

You work hard.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

I work hard, um, but I think it surprises people.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

I think it does when you're pretty, like you're nerd pretty, right? So in the workplace, you're very pretty, and I think it's off-putting to some women who are not, and you can't tell me that you have not gotten harassed by an overweight, middle-aged woman in your workplace.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

And I'm just saying that the only times I've ever not gotten a raise were when I had women bosses. Yes. Yeah, that's a true story. And you work hard, so but here's the thing though, they all preach it, right? They all preach mentorship and being a girl's girl. This brings me, but they don't follow it.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

No, this brings me to my next little segue topic. Like, is there a pressure to be a girl's girl? And is it branding for people?

SPEAKER_01 6:19

A like not people make it their personality.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Like they you they they claim that as a validation of some sort, because there is a pressure to be a girl's girl, but I would rather just appreciate someone just be like, I don't fucking like women because they suck.

SPEAKER_01 6:34

Honestly, it's the craziest thing to me because it's just there's like two groups.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

There's like the real women, and then the ones that are like catty and talk behind your back and pretend to be your friend. I feel like there's a lot of that. There's a lot of fakeness.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

Yeah.

Pressure To Be A Girls Girl

SPEAKER_01 6:48

That's the I think this is why our friendship works so well, is because neither one of us is afraid to the other person that tried to be my friend after Luke died just because Luke died.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

That was a weird thing.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

That was a weird thing. That was a very that was a very weird thing for me to walk into, also, because I was like, you guys don't even really know him. Like, you weren't around. You know what I mean? Like you've been around like for what a year? Like, fuck you.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

I've been here for 13 years. She is mine.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

She is my best friend, my precious.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Oh, I love it when you talk to me like that.

SPEAKER_01 7:28

Talk nerdy to me. Talk nerdy to me.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

You called me your precious.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Oh my god. Oh god, I'm never gonna live it down. I'm never gonna live it down. I have made a mistake. We need to go back in time. Where's my DeLorean?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

We cannot. It's actually recorded. I have it. Fuck.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

She's gonna turn that into a sound night.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

I am like, oh, look. Look how much you love me.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

I'm gonna die first because obviously. And she's gonna play it at the girl.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Like she loved me more than anyone. She called me her precious. They're gonna be like, no. So fuck y'all. My cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Oh god. We needed it.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

We did. It's been too long. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

So fucking long.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

So we did do an episode on validation vultures, and that is like a real thing. Um that's a real thing. That kind of goes into the girls girl. Yeah, because the fake ones they are going, they're getting validated from the females, from the males, and whoever they flip-flop into any situation.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Think of a dude with a girl best friend who like makes the new girlfriend out to be the bad guy by pretending that she's a girl's girl and that the girlfriend is just paranoid and whatever. No, it's a play. That girl knows exactly what she's doing. She

Validation Vultures And Fake Friends

SPEAKER_01 8:52

it's psychological warfare out there, ladies, because of people doing the fake shit and pretending that they're a girl's girl. Like, I very much believe it's one of those things that everybody talks, like claims to be in the world.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

I want to bring up the situation that I told you about backstage, but we never came up with nicknames.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Sorry. Everyone's like, they got quiet. No, we're making direct eye contact because she's trying to telepathically tell me what this she's talking about right now. Sometimes we're good on it. Sometimes she'll just look at me and I will just know what she's talking about. This was not one of those times. We're just staring each other down, like she is now texting it to me. So then I will know what she's talking about, and then we will find a way. We will find a way to talk about this. We will be trouble.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

We kept trying to come up with a nickname, and we never came up with a nickname. But like very much. Oh yeah. I didn't know how the eyes were gonna do that. Yeah, I don't even know. You remember? Yeah, I do. Like that one still. She like all the time, like, hey, hi, and it's so like every single female like hates, hates because it's like so much like homewrecker.

SPEAKER_01 10:19

She's she is a homewrecker, she is the type of person who purposely hits on men in relationships. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

And everyone that breeds.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Like directly in front of the girlfriends or wives. Like that's what's crazy. Like, no shame. No shame at all. Like, and there's a lot of people like that. Oh, there's so many women out

Homewreckers And Relationship Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 10:41

there who are like they only care about themselves, bottom line. Like they will stomp on anybody to get to where they want to be in whatever aspect. It's crazy. I don't even, I honestly don't even feel like girls, girls like a real thing. I feel like it's an imaginary thing.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

I think so too. I think it's just, are you a good person? Right. Because I'm not gonna back every single female because not every single female needs to be backed. Like that one. And also I'm a like if you're my person person. But also Oh, instead of girls, girls, my person person.

SPEAKER_01 11:14

My person person.

unknown 11:16

You are my person.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

But like, even with that, I'm not. I I love you more than anybody else, right? Like, we're best friends, but I'm not gonna just automatically tell you you're right.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

No, and this is what's frustrating in our relationship. Because I have been wrong, and I'm like, I don't fucking care, Lacey. This is where you have to have my back.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

And you're like, but Heather, when I'm like the last episode where Chad GPT didn't give you the answer you wanted, so you tried to manipulate it into the room. That was a bit different answer.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

That was operator error because I didn't start a new chat, so I confused it. I confused it. Oh, I didn't start a new chat? I didn't start a new chat, so it got confused. I didn't know you had that feature. Where's the button? This makes so much more sense.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

You have to find a way to close the other tabs, though. Like, go ahead and do that.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

At least I know that it needs a new it needs a new tab each time, or it gets. Yes, it's a new topic. New topic, or I'm getting confused, bitch. It's like I can't keep up with your ADHD act. Like, you need a new window. This isn't working for me. Chat GPT doesn't even like it. Yes, and it's getting confused. And I know why now. Yes. So yeah, I had to guide it because it was fucking lost. And now I know what our listeners go through. Oh my god, it's a they need chat GPD to get back. Coldie sack. Turn back around. Turn around. We call the sack. We'll make it around eventually. Keep coming. Keep turning to the right. No, clockwise. Clockwise. I just said counterwise.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Go clockwise. Left. Turn. You know what that is? No. NASCAR. Why would I know that? Oh god. Stand-up comedy.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Girls, girls. Okay. But I just want to put out there that I feel like so good about being in a relationship where I don't have to worry about that. Like I just feel solid in everything. So no matter what.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

If we are grading like different activities, A on his reaction, he got hit on by the homewrecker, and his response was ask Heather. Like he redirected the girl to his girlfriend and was like, Nope, if you have questions, you can go to her. Amazing. Well handled. Yes. Gold Star. It was like Gold Star. Yes. Good job, boyfriend.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

We were discussing the situation too, and he's like, nothing would ever take me. I'm like, take me from you. And I was like, oh, I love that. But also, like, I love that. I just love that. It's cute. But I was not worried about that. To put that out there. I was not, but just that the sentiment, like, just the fact, yes. Just like that was great. But we were laughing about it.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

You didn't have to say or do anything. Just stand there, look pretty, and smile.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Yes. I'm really good at that.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

That's how it should be. I'm really good at that. Listen, that's how you know your man's not gonna cheat on you. Because, like, he's like shutting it down instantly, redirecting. That's the type of dude where like a girl reaches out to him on social or something. Because girls are not girls, girls. They fucking reach out all the time. And it is Why are me and Fiddle Faddle not fucking friends in the first place? Because she went and screwed my baby daddy. There is something we were friends for 26 years. There's no fucking such thing. Sorry, I got heated.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

I've been your friend for half the time, and I'm way better than that. Just saying.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

I know you hate her so much. Justified. Justified.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

She's the fiddle faddle cum dumpster. You're gonna get a little fiddle faddle and you're gonna end up in the dumpster. Just saying. Full of things. You should get tested.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

You should get tested, is all I'm saying. But that's the whole thing. Like 26 years of friendship. Down the drain. Can we talk about there is for a less than mediocre man.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

I bet you there's a psychological reason why these girls seek them out.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

And look it up. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

I'm going to.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

It's crazy to me. I do believe in girl code to an extent, but girl code for me is very limited on like who gets that, right? Because you everybody has like an inner circle, an outer circle, like acquaintances, friends of friends, you know what I mean? Like anything.

SPEAKER_00 15:40

I just think over time and building trust. Does your does the girl code go? I just think having good morals and just good morals. Like obviously.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

See, that it's that simple. That's the crazy part of it. It's just you just don't try to sleep with your friend's significance.

SPEAKER_00 15:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

That's common fucking sense in my world.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

That was that's weird. And that's there's something fucking wrong with fiddlefaddle, though. So there's something broken inside her that she was seeking out your leftovers.

SPEAKER_01 16:12

Yeah. It's weird. She just wanted to hook up with the There's a lot of that's also true. And it was sh very well known. She didn't hide it. She's very vocal about it. In fact, me, okay, I don't know if I've admitted to this. Uh me, her, and hand print um had a threesome together on Christmas. And she high-fifed him after and was all like, thanks, I've wanted to do that for forever. Even though like we didn't, that's honestly why she's called fiddlefaddle, because that's moving on. But anyway, but anyway, from a different experience.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

I've never had a threesome. You are so much more I'm very vanilla. But I don't mind it. I don't think I'm ver vanilla. I just think that like in the world of experience, I think it's funny to me. Actually, now I feel like I'm more sexually open and explorative. I think you just, you know.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

Well, yeah, if you're in a healthy relationship, it's a safe place to do that. Yes. Versus the chaos that is my life.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Um well, and then Johnny Bravo had a tiny penis and it didn't really do anything, or he would come in two seconds. So there was a point where I thought I was asexual and I gave up on sex. So there I literally remember being like, I guess that this is what life is, and this is what they talk about. You stop having this is it, then you and then you just stop wanting it. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

We took a left turn.

SPEAKER_00 17:46

Okay, girls, girls. And now I have an amazing sex life. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

I feel like you just wanted to throw that in there.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

So, in case you're jealous, if you weren't jealous, now you will be. I have okay. We're talking about jealousy. I have an amazing boyfriend and great sex life. Okay, um, how about like why do you think that women secretly compete? Do you think it just fuels something inside them? I think that if like I have never felt this, but I know people do and I see it. A very good discernment, like secretly compete. I've had friends growing up or you know, that are just friends with you because they want to compete with you, like kind of like get one up on you. They're not really friends.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Right. I think it's something inside. There are people who are friends.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

They're the ones that usually claim to be girls, girls.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Correct. They're the ones, and

Competition, Social Media, And Algorithms

SPEAKER_01 18:39

it's all over the internet. If you look at stories, there's this one story on Reddit that I remember. Like I don't read Reddit, but I watch like the Skits.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

Don't let us forget we have listen we have um three submissions from listeners.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

Okay, you want me to remember is a dangerous game you're playing. I know, same. But like, so there's this one where like there were two female best friends, they'd been friends forever. The one girl considered herself to be the more attractive of the friend set or whatever. They decide to have a threesome with the dude, the dude ends up liking the other friend, and the tall, pretty friend fucking loses her shit about it. And it's like that whole time you were only friends with her because it made you feel better about yourself. The second somebody picked her over you, you lose it. Like you weren't a girl's girl. No. You know what I mean? But the thing that also makes it makes me wonder like, do they know? Or is there a moment where they break and they find out? I think they know.

SPEAKER_00 19:37

Do you? I think so. All of them, or do you think that they're just so narcissistic and self-serving? I don't know. Is it a narcissism or a self-centered or a selfish, or there's something they're not seeing outside themselves?

SPEAKER_01 19:49

It might be something that they are missing that they like they're trying to make up for.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Like they're trying to pretend they're like, no, I I am that I think a lot of these people attachment disorders, and they're like, don't you think?

SPEAKER_00 20:03

It has to be an attachment disorder where they're clinging on to like people that are. Do you think maybe they see a relationship that, okay, so now we're turning to like, I'm like, if I am. Are we going single white female now? No, we're morphing, so like, say, because fiddle faddle going after like boyfriends, right? So, like, I've I've noticed that there are women that will go after a man in a relationship because it looks pretty. The relationship looks nice. They like, oh, I like the way he treats her. I want that. They look happy, I want that. And so they try to break it up. That doesn't fucking work, by the way. That's weird. But like, they do that.

SPEAKER_01 20:45

Yeah. Like it's literally, they will instantly find a man more attractive the second he gets a girlfriend. Yes, and it's so weird. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

Something broken inside.

SPEAKER_01 20:53

It's weird. It's super weird. I don't know what cause.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

So as we're getting older, we can definitely f see the people with mental health disorders. It's like you're fucked up and you're fucked up, and I know why you're single, and it's like I will say that the like the competition aspect of it.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

I think we've been we have been bred by society to be competitive. They put like Yes, they tell you you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not thin enough, you're not fit enough, you're not you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

Oh, so there's the competitive nature, like he's gonna be mine. That sounds good.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

It's the competitive nature of it. Like it's it goes back to that validation. Like, if I can win him, I'm better than her.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Yeah, and then it doesn't usually work or fizzles out, or it's not the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

Right, because it's not real.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Do you not think that social media also perpetuates this right now? Dude, it makes sense. And comparisons and seeing like highlight reels and sexy photos and things like that. It's like a constant attention grab.

SPEAKER_01 21:47

Well, and being mean to each other is content now. Like peep you know what I mean? Yeah. Because if you can rage bait people to get them to just post the most meanest, heinous shit, you make money off of that. Because more people are gonna comment angry than comment happy.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Okay, so I I was taking a different turn. I was thinking like I was thinking of the aspect of going with the social media being in the comparison and the competitiveness and like in the relationship.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

I know, but that's what I'm saying. Like the what people see on the internet call they're like, oh, look out for this, look out for that. Like influencing the way that people are interacting in in their real life.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

That's why I do not doom scroll or consume lots of social media.

SPEAKER_01 22:33

Yeah, you're really good about not being on socials.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

It's been quite the change, and it's great for me. It's great for everybody. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

But also, um, I feel like the the algorithms or the targeting of like I if if me and you looked at the same post, I bet you it would show you different comments than it would show me. Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

You know what I mean? Yes. Which is crazy. So, like, you're literally having targeted information thrown out you to make you competitive and to make you feel like especially women against women. Especially corporate America, they talk about, you know, like the lack of opportunities because you're a woman, which honestly, I don't even know if it's a real thing anymore. I feel like people just keep saying things to be saying it because, like, in my company, there's a lot of most of the bosses in my org are women. To be honest, because we're better. We're better at certain things, we just are. And men are better at other things, that's the whole thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

But okay, so this um leads right into this. One of the submissions, um, because we talked about like jealousy, put a thing out on Instagram, and people wrote in. So this person, we will keep everyone anonymous. Um, they genuinely want their friends to succeed until they start succeeding faster than them. So until that they start succeeding faster than me. Then I have to do deep breathing exercises before opening Instagram.

SPEAKER_01 24:06

Yeah. I get that to an extent. And it's a weird thing because their success does not diminish your success.

Jealousy As Data For Growth

SPEAKER_00 24:16

And then is that really your friend then?

SPEAKER_01 24:18

This okay, so this is what actually they could be your friend.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

You're just taking it really personal.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

I want to tell you something that's helped me a lot. It's I I don't remember where I originally heard it, but it to me it has been very profound, and it actually helps a lot. So it was like some lady was talking to her grandma or something, and she was just struggling with all of the negativity that was coming through, and she was having thoughts that wasn't like making her feel like she was a bad person, but she felt like she was a good person. And the lady was like, take a deep breath and count to three in your head. Your very first thought is what society has trained you to think, and your second thought is what you really think about it. So, like, it's crazy, but it kind of works sometimes because my first thought will be like, Uh, I hate this about myself, and then the second thing is, oh, but not, but blah blah blah blah blah. And the second one is the one that I listen to because that's the truth, and the first one is what I'm trained to think. Is that crazy? I don't know if it's true or if my brain's just like I'm gonna hold on to that. But because we are like girls are pitted against each other. I'm not saying that men aren't too, but I think it'd be fun. Yeah, honestly. Do you think do you think that, or even girls, girl though? Like, do you think they exist? Like, I want to hear from the dude that has the like lifelong friend that ruins your relationship.

SPEAKER_00 25:44

I also want to hear about like the friends that turn, or like girlfriends, friends that try hitting on, you know, like the sneaky ones. I want to hear those stories.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

Yeah, like do you not know? Or do you know when you're secretly like, yeah, two women are gonna fight over me? Because I really feel like some men just think that's hot. And so they encourage it even though they're not actually interested, but they just they like the attention of it. I can see that. Yeah, it's gross. Shit behavior. But girls allow it to happen.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

They do the same thing, it's the same thing. I'm sure it's like that on the other end. I'm sure men do it just as much as women. Women are yes. Anyways, there's a bad apples in every group. That's what we're figuring out.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

Yeah, and the older you get, you realize some of them have been rotten for a long time.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

Yes. Um what about is jealousy normal or toxic?

SPEAKER_01 26:51

I think it depends on the le on the level.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

Like is it just like you can let it roll off?

SPEAKER_01 26:58

If there's a moment of jealousy, I think that's a good sign. But if you live there, if you get jealous over and over again, I feel like that's not okay. Because now it's more about like there's a control issue, like you don't, you know, for whatever reason, like you don't feel secure.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

And that's whether it's with a dude or with a female friend, to be honest. Like you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Yeah, no, because jealousy can span all relationships.

SPEAKER_01 27:30

Yeah, because you me and you, it's really weird because we always seem to be in like the same part of our life at the same time. Yeah, like it just has flowed that way. It works out well because we relate to each other, but like it's really weird if you're in a friend dynamic where like you start kind of in a similar circumstance and then one circumstance has changed dramatically. And it's like, can you handle that? And you still be, you know, some people struggle, and you can define that however you want, you know, but they branch off in a way that the other person either thought they would or something.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

I think this also goes with relationships because two people can grow up if you can grow apart, yes, and it's not any fault of I know when you get married really young or together really young, you end up being different people, like who I was when I was 20.

SPEAKER_01 28:22

100% 25. I'm not the same person I was five years ago.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Yeah, no, same.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

It's yeah. Same. But that but you can't you can't maintain a relationship with someone that you're constantly jealous of in any capacity. No, that's just gonna eat away and it's just gonna die a slow death, and you are gonna come out worse.

SPEAKER_00 28:46

Okay, jealousy can be healthy if you identify it as what wound or what flaw it is about yourself.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

Yes, that's causing it.

SPEAKER_00 28:57

Yeah, it's mirroring something back to you. It's bothering you for a reason.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

I mean, of course, there are reflections. Yes, the jealousy. Like people can Yeah, no, it is. You have to do that work. You have to be like, okay, what is it that's actually bothering me about this? Because it's triggering something. There's a wound, there's a trigger point. I'm just figure out whatever your trigger point is, it has to be something, and you can like dig into it. So you could become a better version of yourself. It is an opportunity to grow.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Yeah, it should be.

SPEAKER_00 29:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

Then the other side of the coin though is there's those people that literally crave like the tragedy of it all. They you know what I mean? And they seek out, they seek it, they purposely, they they g wither their way in with people doing the whole, I'm a girl's girl, I'm a girl's girl, I'm a and they wiggle their way in.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

That's very much that one person.

SPEAKER_01 29:49

Yes. And then they try to fucking deteriorate deteriorate things from the inside out. You know what I mean? So it's like it's it's like a virus or a parasite that is trying to wiggle its way in under false pretenses. Heather had to uh excuse herself for a second. You're fine. I'm I'm not great at entertaining on my own. This is why we do a joint podcast. If it were just me, I'd be like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

So, um Simon Prep and I pee a lot. It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

I also have to pee, but I can hold it.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Oh, I cannot with the amount of liquids I drink.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

No. I've watched you.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

I didn't even open my second beverage yet.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Drink a lot of liquids, and it's almost mealtime. Um, yeah, so hungry. Um, yeah, we were on.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Did you lose your train of thought while you No, jealousy.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

Jealousy, normal, toxic. I still hold that if you use the jealousy to do some internal growth work, it could be positive. I think it's just highlighting areas you need to work on. So that's what I would do personally if I was feeling that. Um, and then of course take yourself out of that situation until you feel confident enough to be in it without feeling that way because nobody wants to feel like that.

SPEAKER_01 31:20

Yeah, and it is really important. You have to get to the root of why you feel that way because sometimes you think it's sometimes you think it's you and it's really the other person like putting you in that position. And I say that because to that story earlier, like sometimes the person needs to feel better than you, and they they need you to be jealous of them. So you gotta be careful because they might be purposely making you feel that way.

SPEAKER_00 31:52

Oh, never thought about that.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

Yeah, it's a different angle of it.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

Um, okay. One of my friends got cheated on and suddenly became a woman's empowerment coach overnight, but she still stalks the new girl every day. Is healing real or are we just pretending?

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Both. I get that. Listen, even when I break up with somebody, I will still sometimes even now, I'll go to someone's Facebook page just to do a gander. I've done I've never stalked the new girl, but I have like gone to their page to be like, well, posted

Healing Performances And Closing Takeaways

SPEAKER_01 32:31

of that girl.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

Only because you they pop up and try to friend you. Recently, Cowardly Lion.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

What was that? Yesterday. That was yesterday. Sends me a friend request on Snapchat. Like, what? Like fucking what? That's I did not see that coming.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

It's because you're getting you're getting zombied, right?

SPEAKER_01 32:54

When they won't die? Yes. That's all I get.

SPEAKER_00 32:59

Recycling zombies.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

I'm I'm gonna not recycle anymore.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

No, because you have a new prospect. He is recycling in a weird way, but not.

SPEAKER_01 33:10

He's not. We never went over to the water. No, but you didn't know him.

SPEAKER_00 33:14

We didn't know recycling, but you knew him from before, so it's not a completely new person. So in my mind, it's slightly recycling.

SPEAKER_01 33:22

It's not recycling if you didn't date.

SPEAKER_00 33:25

Okay, so it's like secondhand.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

We've both been through a few washes, and now we're coming out the other side and being like, are you damaged enough where you can handle my damage? Yeah. And yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

Found each other in the thrift aisle.

SPEAKER_01 33:45

Do you want to hear an interesting fact about him?

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 33:49

He is twice divorced to the same woman.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

That's not bad.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

I thought that was an interesting fact, actually. I was like, that weirdly makes it better.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Do you remember that time that me and Luke like decided to get divorced real quick? Yep. I was there. And then we were like together, and then while we were still going through it, and then it was. It was a rough time. It was like just we were just proving a point at the end because we both.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

You just you were so stubborn. You both were so stubborn that neither one of you would cave. So you were dating while actively getting a divorce because neither one of you would stop it.

SPEAKER_00 34:32

No, because he started we both like rushed to fight to see who would file.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

Yeah, that was it was ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

Yeah, that was dumb. It was stubborn. I'm like, you started this, so we're gonna finish it.

SPEAKER_01 34:42

Yeah, you were so stubborn about it. You were like, no, this is choices. I'm not gonna lie, I think that's my favorite, favorite thing to say to people. Yeah, choice. Especially because when I don't know what to say to someone, Lily, they tell me something unhinged, and I'm just like, choices.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

Diabolical choice. Um, Lily's thing, like she'll see somebody wearing something crazy, and she's like, well, that was a choice.

SPEAKER_01 35:10

It's not wrong. So people can't get mad. But see, we're we're guilty too. Listen, I definitely like I'm not a girl's girl. I'm not. I will rat you out.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

I already said I'm a person's person.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

Yeah, but like I will rat you out. If if I find out that you're cheating on your boyfriend, I will tell your boyfriend. That's bullshit. She will. There's no reason. Like, fuck you. I don't care who you are. I don't care if we were really good friends. If you do someone shady and they don't deserve it, I will tell on you. If they deserve it, we like it's different. Let's make that very clear. If they deserve it, it is different. But yeah, so I would not consider myself a girl's girl at all. Like, if I'm your friend, I got your back, but I'm also gonna hold you to your shit.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

That's why a lot of people can't handle me. I'm too much, I'm too honest.

SPEAKER_00 36:06

You said that about me too. Like, you just are really It's the way you deliver it.

unknown 36:12

I feel like it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

I feel like we can both say the same thing, and for some reason we both think it's more aggressive coming from you than from me.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

Because I'm a mega Aries.

unknown 36:24

Mega Aries.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

Get shit done.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

We need to make a video game.

SPEAKER_00 36:30

Mega Aries. Getting shit done.

SPEAKER_01 36:35

You're like all buff and you're on, hell yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

That would not be my hell yeah. That would be my tagline. I need to pee. Not in my bed. She needs some depends. Hurry.

SPEAKER_01 36:54

No, I have C-sections. I can actually hold it.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

I know, I know. I can't relate when people say they pee themselves. No, me either. Mike never. Does that happen, Mike? Never. I can jump. The one popping. I should not jump because my tits are huge. Knock yourself out. I can do all the things and there's no pee coming out. I have great muscle control in the Kegel area.

SPEAKER_01 37:16

Yes. I can jump on the trampoline just fine. I mean, not really. I'd break now, but like my bladder's not the one that's.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

You see the support of bra because these babies are gonna stay up and live.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

I I do wear bra all the time now. Me too. Which is weird. Like always.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

I wear a lounge bra like I'm wearing right now or something always. But mine are too big. They're 775s. That's like double of mine. Too big to be out and about. Nobody wants that. Well, they probably do want that.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

Um, entire website that they'll beg to differ with you.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

Okay. The structure of them just wants to be lifted. They don't need any saggy boobies. Gravity's not my friend.

SPEAKER_01 37:56

No saggy boobies.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

Um all right. Well, so I do not think that there is a such thing as girls, girls, unless they're just made up. And you can just be a person's person. That's what we're calling it. Because that's what it should be.

SPEAKER_01 38:08

You should just value each person individually and differently, and each person comes and people just need to learn that tearing other people down doesn't do anything for you. It doesn't make you a better person. It doesn't, it's not gonna even make you feel better about yourself because literally you might get like a little bit of dopamine for like a fucking second.

SPEAKER_00 38:27

But you know what felt really good? All the people that called Donnie Bravo like tiny ankles and all that stuff. I get it, that one was okay.

SPEAKER_01 38:34

I can preach it all day. I'm still the girl who will go sit in a food court and just fucking make fun of people as they walk by. I am not a good person. You were like, it's like I'm saying we should all do better. Yes. I won't, but we should. It's my message.

SPEAKER_00 38:53

Yes, I love that. But yeah, no, but if someone tells you dirty and it's on it's valid, we we got your back.

SPEAKER_01 39:01

I'm not afraid.

SPEAKER_00 39:02

Write in, tell us what it is.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

Yeah, we'll call your people out. I don't care.

SPEAKER_00 39:07

Apparently I believe that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 39:09

I will anything you need to get out, let us know. I will say it on air. I don't give a shit.

SPEAKER_00 39:16

Anonymous or not, whatever you want.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

Correct. It's like the radio. We'll start calling people though. I won't do that. I don't call anybody. We could. No. You can. I'm not calling people. I would have a heart attack. Are you kidding me? I would my anxiety would blow the fuck up.

SPEAKER_00 39:36

Hold on. How is California?

SPEAKER_01 39:39

Oh, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

Are you proud of me? No. Why? I wanted to see how that ended.

SPEAKER_01 39:44

There were there was no ending. I wanted it to begin. And I just stopped interacting because I'm Let's go in nowhere. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

Prospect.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Don't be like, oh, I don't have the money to come visit even though I said I was gonna come visit, and then tell me that you put you paid $7,000 off on your credit card. Like, good job. Good job. Yes, pay off your credit card. But like you couldn't have just like kept $200 back to fucking do a flight.

SPEAKER_00 40:09

Yeah. You know what I mean? Effort. No action. Okay, well, prospect. You guys will hear what Prospect has. Um, and let us know if you're a person's person. A Parsons. Person's person. Or a girls girl. I mean, I am a girls girl in this if you are my girl. Yes. But I'm not just like every single woman, every single female.

SPEAKER_01 40:28

I don't think any I honestly I fullheartedly will like put bets in Vegas. I don't think anybody actually is.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

But I also like have boundaries and I would never I am a girls girl in the stance of like I believe in you don't sleep with your friends, you know. Right. And you don't entangle yourself in any weird drama with your friends. Nope. Um you don't make your friends' life harder for you. You know what I mean? You have to go in the out like you there's enough people. Don't make it fucking messy for anyone involved. So yeah. On that note, we're gonna be really weird and awkward again and not be able to end it.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Is it time? Yeah. It is time.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

It's time. All right.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Which is funny because I bet you don't even know. What time it is? No. We gotta end because my autism is kicking in hard right now with 90s references.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

Okay, we also like took an edible. And I think they're actually kicking in, and I was just laying down on the bed, like, hi. Um, girls, girls, this is a really weird subject, but it it flowed. It's very relevant. And once we come up with nicknames, we're gonna have a very juicy story for you.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

I'll think about it.

SPEAKER_00 41:46

Her edible definitely kicked in, everybody. All right, on that note, we'll see you next week. Bye.