The Wise Mind Happy Hour
Two therapists musing about the idea of an inner wise mind and how to connect with this psychic space in different contexts.
The Wise Mind Happy Hour
is it wise to treat your HAIRSTYLIST as your THERAPIST? and TAYLOR SWIFT is getting married??? (feat. Brio Ruiz)
Have you ever found yourself pouring out your deepest secrets to the person cutting your hair? You're not alone. In this captivating conversation with hairstylist Brio Ruiz, we explore the fascinating psychological dynamics that transform the salon chair into a confessional booth.
(With an extra special segment on the upcoming marriage of Taylor Swift.)
- music by blanket forts -
okay, welcome to the wise mind. Happy hour, I'm kelly and I'm john yes and welcome. Welcome everyone. We're so excited because we do have a guest, but we will introduce him we'll save that for momentarily soon enough, um, but let's, let's check in. What's let's check in yeah, what's going on? John, what's new with you?
Speaker 2:nothing. What is new? No, I well. Today I had to take my youngest to the dentist oh we were just talking for sure on the brain, yeah, I know how did it go? It was okay, okay, you know, first time, no, no what when do kids go for the first time?
Speaker 1:a, a lot earlier.
Speaker 2:Actually, that's a pretty funny question, because he's like eight he's eight. But a lot of teeth there, a lot of them fall out. He's got braces Whoa.
Speaker 1:Yeah, wait, wes has braces. No, shane does.
Speaker 2:I know, wait, he got braces before Wes. How early are they getting kids braces? Does he have baby seven years old? Yeah, I know well, he had to get like an expander first in order to like make some space for some teeth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh my god, I remember expanders uh and yeah, now he has braces but, yeah, but the but the kids dentist is nothing like when I was a kid. I don't know, maybe, maybe I just went to the wrong one, but like they have a TV on the ceiling and the kids get to pick, like what show they're like. We have Netflix, this, this they have like every streaming service, and it's just. I mean it's like a joy for these kids, but I mean he still didn't like it.
Speaker 1:Anyway, didn't like, so it's like that just continues throughout most of your life. Yeah, but it's like, it's curious, because it's like is it because it's painful, is it because it's like vulnerable?
Speaker 2:I think it's a vulnerable position You're laying down.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And people have their fingers in your mouth. Right, right fingers in your mouth, right right, who you don't know? Yeah, totally, but you know it's like a really nice.
Speaker 1:I just remember when I just remember staring at the wall yeah like when I was in the same as yeah, I remember even what the wall looks like and like the weird smell of the like leather of the chair the smells the heavy thing they put on you to get x-rays. Yeah, yeah I know like blanket type it's like a blankety type thing yeah.
Speaker 2:I know, anyway, so that's what I did. So I did like pick him up early from school to take him out, and he was like super excited to see me because I think he forgot what we were doing. And then I was like, yeah, that's great, we're going to go to the dentist. And then just like I don't want to go, and then did you take him for like a treat after, or no, no, I actually took him then because I'm a terrible father.
Speaker 2:I took him to urgent care because I wanted to see if he had an ear infection oh my god, I know none, but he might have like some swimmer's ear because he went to the pool this past weekend, but he's been having a hard time hearing. And so I was like, oh, I don't want to get ahead of this, I don don't want this to turn into anything. So, like we were at the, you know, he got swabbed for everything like strep and this and that, and he's sitting there and he's like tearing up and I was like I mean, after this we'll just go to the foot doctor. And he didn't think that was funny, but I was like why don't I just nail one today, let's do them all, so then.
Speaker 1:So then he got home.
Speaker 2:He's a trooper, and I kind of let him do his like ipad for a while so he could just like yeah, something, so yeah, so he doesn't have strep covid or the flu, good, or an ear infection that's great.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that was like top of mind today yeah for me. Wow well, something my oldest son this past weekend played it. We went down to bulls fest. Have you ever been to bulls fest? No, down by the united center is actually a really nice like thing. They like open up the united center and then there's like this three-on-three tournament.
Speaker 2:So my oldest son got into it with some of his buddies wow, yeah, that's so cute yeah, and I think it really opened his eyes to how good some kids are at basketball, because they did not really do that well yeah.
Speaker 1:Wow yeah, these kids.
Speaker 2:And even I was looking around I was like wow, this kid's in like fifth grade. He's like really good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, some kids are truly just naturally so gifted.
Speaker 2:And just also like bigger, yeah, and faster, and like just I was like, I was like whoa yeah but anyway, it's really nice to go down there yeah, that's so fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah on saturday that was saturday and sunday because they had two days well, they had to play all these games on saturday, which then gave you the seating for sunday, and then sunday was like single elimination, so they lost their game and then they were out. But okay, but he got an autograph from like an old bull and shane got to meet benny, uh the bull.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's cool love josh's family when we went to the bulls game was like hating on benny the bull how could you hate on benny? I'm like I'm the only bulls fan of this group and I'm not hating on benny the bull benny.
Speaker 2:Benny's one of the top mascots of all the leagues.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he's got so much charisma.
Speaker 3:He has a great annual net worth. Oh gross.
Speaker 2:No, didn't. John, tell us some guy, some mascot, oh yeah, the Denver Nuggets mascot makes $600,000 a year.
Speaker 1:I mean crazy.
Speaker 2:Or something like that. But Benny does the popcorn showers your family's against popcorn, or what?
Speaker 3:Is my family anti-popcorn?
Speaker 1:No, they're.
Speaker 3:Pistons fans?
Speaker 2:Oh, so they're just anti because they like the Pistons.
Speaker 3:They like the Pistons. They don't like anything else.
Speaker 2:What is the Pistons mascot? A horse Hooper.
Speaker 3:A Piston. No, it's not like a Mechanical part.
Speaker 1:Oh it's a Piston, oh it's a car part. It's like like a mechanical part oh it's a piston, oh it's a car part.
Speaker 3:It's like what keeps the. You can't see my hand motion.
Speaker 1:It's like what keeps the motor running? Maybe we should cut this.
Speaker 3:Why.
Speaker 1:I'm talking shit about your family. I feel bad. Oh, I don't care.
Speaker 3:No, they need to hear this. But you love my family, rectify it.
Speaker 1:Of course I love your family.
Speaker 2:Make it right, it was a good-natured ribbing good nature when it was the bulls pistons game, yes, but wait, so it's a horse um, it's a horse hooper, the horse, he's a blue horse. I don't know if people should be throwing shit at benny whose mascot is a horse.
Speaker 1:Until until your mask, I mean it does have hooves.
Speaker 2:But you know yeah much it does have hooves.
Speaker 1:But you know yeah.
Speaker 3:They both have hooves right. That's what I'm saying. Oh, I see, so we should find the common People in glass houses Still two very different, Anyway.
Speaker 1:I digress, what about you? So I mean, obviously I can update everyone on myself, but we also have to the elephant in the room, taylor Swift, got engaged. We have, we have to talk. Oh right, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3:So I already talked with brio about it and brio is not a swifty I quickly discovered okay, brio's our guest yes, I'm sorry well, no, you're good, I was just like people won't.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm contextualizing it, but, and now it's blowing the lead, but yeah, but so wait so that's your, that's what we're catching, that's what happened to me this week, that's what happened to you is that, because you're a swifty, well, it's funny because it's like I love the music and I'm definitely like a fan.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't know to be like a full-blown swifty, you might have to like be a little more obsessed. But then I said to josh I was like the second she got engaged it was my entire instagram feed. So I'm like I clearly must be more of a fan than I even think.
Speaker 2:But like what was your initial? So you see this, you hear this, whatever. Like what is your internal, like you're excited. Yeah, you're happy.
Speaker 1:That's a great question, Like what is the?
Speaker 2:internal, because I don't have any of it. Whatever you're having, I don have that with with these two people you know it's funny.
Speaker 1:It's like I said to josh. I like came into his office and I was like so jaylor shift got engaged and he was like oh really, and I was like yeah, and then I was like I kind of feel nothing but like good for her I kind of feel nothing about it yeah, but like I, I obviously feel happy for her and her ring is cool.
Speaker 1:It's kind of like vintagey and cool. Um, yeah, maybe I'm more like I'm excited for the discourse about it because you know it's like when something like this happens, like everyone's abuzz with something that's not, like you know, too consequential for any of us.
Speaker 4:You know, it's not something about the government.
Speaker 1:It's not you know where. It's too consequential for any of us. You know it's not something about the government, it's not you know where. It's like I can't even bear to look at the news anymore. And then you see news of like Taylor Swift got engaged. It's like we can engage, we can connect on this.
Speaker 2:I see.
Speaker 1:You know, like if people don't like Travis, her fiance, it's like I'm interested in that and like why, as her fiancee, it's like I'm interested in that and like why. And you know, like all the things you could possibly talk about. So I think that's probably where most of my excitement comes in. And like she's gonna have a wedding, like what the hell is that gonna be? Like she's like the most famous person on earth. Like how do you have a wedding? Does she have a wedding? You know?
Speaker 2:so all of it, he, he has a podcast with his brother right. Well, the and his brothers together well, I don't know, because his I know that his brother's wife's podcast is like the number one podcast on spotify really yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, the brother jason kelsey has a podcast.
Speaker 2:Yes, jason kelsey. I thought that the brothers had it, but Jason Kelsey's wife is much more famous, probably.
Speaker 1:Kylie.
Speaker 2:Kelsey or something, something like that, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, okay, so she's got a podcast, and then maybe does Travis just come on the brothers every so often.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm wondering, because I know Taylor made an appearance, or, if it's, they do it together.
Speaker 1:Or they, taylor, made an appearance, or if it's, they do it together, or maybe the brothers, I don't know they might Interesting. I didn't listen to that episode that she came on yeah. I'm just kind of surprising that I didn't. Okay, but I did it, so that's the news so that's the news. I mean other than that. What's going on with me? I?
Speaker 1:can't wait till like in three years from now, when doing this we're saying god the divorce oh my god, it's like so no, but I just think it'd be funny if it was like but even that I'm curious let's revisit our you know who, like I heard them talking about I don't know what you guys think about this, or if you're aware of it lana del rey her marriage I know lana del rey.
Speaker 2:I don't know anything about her marriage so she married.
Speaker 1:You know about this you know more than I do she married this guy who is basically like he runs like swamp tours in new orleans. I do beseech you to google a picture of this man, because you would be shocked that he's married to lana del rey I mean he looks like he's like pushing 60. He looks like he grew up like in the wild and yeah, he like owns this like swamp tour company in new orleans.
Speaker 1:So it's sort of like interesting and I think london del rey like does stuff kind of like for the, for the story a little bit okay, like she like worked at a waffle house one day, like she's a little like does some alternative-y kind of like lifestyle stuff not just obviously her art is like amazing, but like personally, she'll do that and yeah, so she fully married this guy and people on this podcast I was listening to called how Long Gone.
Speaker 1:They were like do we think she's going to stay married to Swamp Daddy? They call him Swamp Daddy, swamp.
Speaker 2:Daddy and.
Speaker 1:I'm like how could that possibly last? I mean, I'm just like it feels, like it's.
Speaker 2:Because of her history.
Speaker 1:Or because you're just looking at two people in the way they look like lana del rey just marries like this, like guy, I mean, it's just I mean maybe it's the perfect recipe, because one guy was like I think they're gonna stay married forever and I was. People are looking up in the studio right now swamp day wait.
Speaker 2:But my question becomes does taylor swift lose her creative edge now that she's gonna be married?
Speaker 1:she's gonna be married.
Speaker 2:I know well, you know the mundane life of marriage of the day in and the day out with a Travis.
Speaker 1:Kelsey. Well, it is curious, Like what could it do to?
Speaker 3:the work. She could spin gold.
Speaker 2:I mean, obviously she doesn't need to work anymore, for the rest of eternity. But I'm just. You know it's hard to. I gotta imagine it's hard to keep the bar that high for so long.
Speaker 1:Definitely. Well, I wonder if she'll do some of what she did with the album you Love Josh. Folklore Forklor.
Speaker 3:Her fork-based concept album. Yeah, Forklor.
Speaker 1:I love that song Tines, when she inhabits a lot of characters, more that could happen, but will that be something? Is that what the people want?
Speaker 2:I think the people want whatever she gives I don't think they have any say because she'll just do whatever and people will probably at this point just eat it up because it's her. But yeah I'm just I'm curious, because isn't like the thing about her a little bit that it's like part of her work thrives in the emotional turmoil?
Speaker 1:of failed relationships.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I mean some of her best stuff right, so that's why I'm looking forward to the divorce yeah, well I'm kidding divorce album would be incredible I've never listened to one of her albums, not one you haven't no treat yourself.
Speaker 1:I love 1989 joshua's folklore. I don't really like her music. You don't then you probably won't like the albums yeah, you might not like it, that's fair enough, I mean I've listened to a few songs you know, but yeah, doesn't resonate with everyone, but yeah, I'm the the person yeah, you're the guy I'm the one person in the world my sister
Speaker 1:doesn't like her yeah, it's honestly like. It's almost like scary for for you to say that on the spot because, like the swifties come for people who don't like her like, but you don't really have social media, so I guess that doesn't but why bother?
Speaker 2:come for me. I mean, I mean, I'm like the one person who doesn't like her, like I mean they come, they mean they'll just come for anyone.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, they don't want anything out there.
Speaker 2:They smell blood in the water and then they're just like who's this idiot?
Speaker 1:I think like Jack Antonoff's wife, like someone asked her about, like what do you think of Taylor's upcoming album? And I guess Jack Antonoff didn't work on this new upcoming one, I think.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So it was a little weird that they asked her in this like interview for a movie she was promoting and Margaret Qualley, and she was like her response was basically like I don't know, I mean I'm looking forward to it coming out and she was kind of like laughing. Oh my God, she was like skewered for three days on the internet because, and what were people? I don't, I guess, because people thought she was like making fun of it or like trivializing it or whatever yeah I almost was like I can't gauge at all what this reaction is.
Speaker 1:So it's like interesting that people found a way to like criticize her for it.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I mean it's, it's brutal out there I just don't, yeah, I guess I just don't understand what is the obsession?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Again, I don't feel that at all towards her music, like any of that, like I just don't get it Like what is so like magnetic, yeah, that's what I think a lot of men.
Speaker 2:I don't understand what is so like magnetic about her. That's what I don't. I'm missing something, something. But sometimes magnetism it's just that you can't. You can't describe it. Yeah, I just don't have whatever particle it is that people are drawn to I don't have it in my body, like I'm not drawn to her in any way is there someone like that, that I even? Know, because people will reduce it down and ask me and say, do you think she's pretty? Yeah and I don't, so it's like that's also the all right, let's not get carried where it's like I I'm sorry, it's just I don't.
Speaker 2:So it's like that's also the thing.
Speaker 1:All right, let's not get carried away here when it's like I'm sorry, it's just I don't she's gorgeous.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll give you my address Swifties, come for me when you want to come for me. I don't think she's bad looking.
Speaker 1:I just don't.
Speaker 2:I just don't, because that always gets it.
Speaker 1:I mean I think gets it like when it's like. I mean I think she looks like.
Speaker 2:That's always the last question before somebody disengages about taylor swift with me. Yeah, like you just did right now, where it's like but you think she's pretty right and it's like, why is that? Even the last question. And john also, you said you didn't think asap rocky was attractive.
Speaker 1:are you guys aware of asap rocky was absolutely gorgeous. I said that I think you and kristin both were like don't see it, and I was like I went cross-eyed, I was like what Right?
Speaker 2:I didn't say that he was unattractive, I just said I don't see the right.
Speaker 3:I didn't see it.
Speaker 2:And who is he married to now? Rihanna, and she is no. And remind me, and remind me again she what does?
Speaker 1:she do, because I'm trying to think who else is like that, where they're like really magnetic and you can't totally tell why.
Speaker 2:What it is.
Speaker 1:I mean Adam Driver? I think you don't. Oh my God.
Speaker 2:Wait, take away the magnetism piece.
Speaker 3:Would this be a good time to introduce our guest or no?
Speaker 1:Totally yeah, we could yeah because you could write in for us on this a little bit. We have yeah, we do have a guest today, the illustrious hair stylist of the stars, brio ruiz.
Speaker 4:Welcome welcome to the stars, the local chicago community.
Speaker 1:But yeah, the stars of the local, yeah, the stars, including josh bear, yeah yeah, brio is Josh's hairstylist and I mean he's done an amazing job with Josh's hair, wouldn't you say?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and only hairstylist. Really, I had a childhood hairstylist. I haven't seen him in a while. I've seen one-offs since I moved to Chicago, so it's been good to hunker down and I think you've given me three, three cuts. Yeah, you gave me my wedding haircut. Yes, people seemed happy with the way my hair looks.
Speaker 1:So the day josh came home, the first time you did his hair, I was like back the car up, like you're going back to this person yeah what's his name. And josh was like I don't think I got his name and I'm like well, we're going online, we're figuring it out. I always name. And Josh was like I don't think I got his name and I'm like well, we're going online, we're figuring it out.
Speaker 4:I always tell people it's the gayest name in the world. My name is Brio, which in Spanish, brio means bright, shiny or glitter.
Speaker 2:Oh, my God.
Speaker 3:And so depending on how you use, the word.
Speaker 4:My name is the gay. I'm literally made glitter.
Speaker 1:Love it. I'm obsessed, oh my God.
Speaker 2:That's amazing.
Speaker 1:You've made our lives so much better, so we had to have you on the pod. But you had a reaction to Adam Driver.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean for people that don't know, or maybe they do know. Our guest listens to our intro typically the entire time and they're just kind of having reactions. So Kelly and I are like noticing these things, so we couldn't wait any longer.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have to know your thoughts on Adam Driver.
Speaker 2:Or anything we talked about really.
Speaker 4:But yes, adam Driver, yeah tell us Adam Driver, not my cup of tea. Okay, yes, he is tall. Yeah, and yes, he is tall Totally.
Speaker 1:That is but those are only two things. That's it. So who that is, but those are only two things. So who would be like your celeb?
Speaker 4:crush. Oh I am, I don't know why, but I have a thing for daddy uh, not daddy yankee.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, pitbull, pitbull's my man pitbull, I don't know why it's that weird bald head of his I actually I honestly I think he's a taylor swift type, like he's got a magnetism, he does. He's got this like vibe, that you're like okay. I feel like I said to someone once I was like do you find people attractive? And they were like no, do you?
Speaker 2:and I was like no and then I'm like what you couldn't own it in that moment I couldn't.
Speaker 1:They were just too like not they were too like what yeah, I get it like I completely get it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he's not the top of the shelf that you want. Right and looks wise. But but that's what's great yeah, and the things he talks about and the songs you're like. If that's real true I'm in right yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:Oh, I love that because I feel like when you ask someone their celeb crush, you really get their like type.
Speaker 3:Because I mean.
Speaker 1:Adam Driver would probably be mine, or Javier Bardem. So like, maybe that gives you a sense.
Speaker 2:Sure, I haven't thought about Pitbull in a long time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, mr Worldwide, is he still?
Speaker 2:putting out a lot of music. I don't know, I don't follow him. Oh okay, got it, got it because there was a moment there where, like you, couldn't go anywhere without hearing one of his songs. Totally, he was everywhere, everywhere, in bars and like clubs like.
Speaker 1:I think he's also like behind the scenes. That's what I was wondering if he like produces and like has his own.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't be surprised if he has his own record label probably yeah but he's also like a mogul right. He probably like is in a bunch of anyway it's so interesting.
Speaker 1:I just realized that you're a hairstylist and your celeb crush is someone bald.
Speaker 4:I love that, yeah I'm a also gay man like, yes, like they think he's sexy bald men are very attractive. A lot of guys need to realize that yeah, totally not always the case.
Speaker 1:That makes you the looks right right and it's about personality it's so perspectives and there's a lot of really good looking bald men out there, yeah totally yeah, josh, you and I were just talking about this where it was like if, if you know someone in your life who it's like they're struggling with dating because they really just like don't think they're attractive enough to date, and I was like it's just like, not about that, it's more like you have to be like attractive, it's like have a vibe, like have a point of view, express yourself with some level of like ownership of who you are. That's attractive. That sounds so therapist-y and annoying, but I actually believe that and you were saying you did too. Yeah, yeah, when were we talking about this? What was the context in the? We talked about it in the car.
Speaker 3:I do agree. I'm just trying to remember what I would have said.
Speaker 1:Well, I can share the context, but I don't want to dox anyone.
Speaker 3:Oh, let's not then, yeah, have a brand.
Speaker 1:Sort of just have a personality.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's more, just be yourself.
Speaker 1:Be yourself. Literally, All you have to do is be yourself, be yourself, be yourself literally All you have to do is be yourself.
Speaker 4:Yeah, you'll find that weird person that fits your perfect puzzle.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's so true. Someone out there is looking for you, yep, exactly as you are, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's definitely a lot of attractiveness and just authentic.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like somebody who's authentically themselves. There's like because you can't really. Maybe that's also a little bit of magnetism there too like you can't describe it a little. There's something you can't describe in that, where it's like god, they're just so them they're comfortable in their own skin, like no matter what it is.
Speaker 1:That's kind of what I like about adam driver, because I do feel he's very comfortable in his own skin he is and you know him, but he also is.
Speaker 4:This time we're personally talking to him before we started
Speaker 2:recording isn't he the person who, like, can't watch or listen?
Speaker 1:to himself on screen. Yeah right, yeah, he said it gets in the way of his acting his creative yeah, that's so attractive abilities.
Speaker 3:He has no vanity yeah or too much or too much yeah, potentially.
Speaker 1:Who is yourleb crush? I feel like maybe we've talked about this on the pod, but I'm forgetting.
Speaker 2:Have we.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Maybe you and I just talked about it at the office. Maybe I have a real big crush on Jessica Chastain.
Speaker 1:Oh sure, of course, she's very beautiful.
Speaker 2:Which is interesting, because she's got like she's a redhead and that's not. I don't. Maybe there's something about that. That's like intriguing to me but she's very striking. She's very striking and I feel like some of the roles she just picks very strong roles and like really commits I don't know, yeah, which. To me there's something very like powerful.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:In her? I don't know Totally.
Speaker 1:Like when she's on screen. Yeah, I powerful in her. I don't know Like when she's on screen Anyway, but yeah she's.
Speaker 2:I think she's very, very pretty yeah she's great. So many celebrities are so beautiful, totally Just to look at, just eye candy. Just stare at. I know that's why they're on TV.
Speaker 4:Tom Hardy's another one of mine.
Speaker 2:Oh, tom Hardy, he's great.
Speaker 1:I love Tom hardy, I love a brooding tom hardy and he's also like very masculine and very beautiful, yes, which not a lot of people can really toe that line, god bless yeah, tom hardy. Yeah, that is a good call Well we're talking about looks, so maybe this is our chance to talk a little bit about styling hair. And actually today's topic that we twirled around with is is it wise? Because we always, on the Wise Mind, talk about wisdom, finding the wise?
Speaker 1:mind Is it wise to treat your stylist as your therapist, as many of us do. I've definitely done this, so I'm curious when you hear that, what do you think Like? Where's the wisdom in that for you and your experience?
Speaker 4:I would have to say it differs on the stylist right. It depends on the personality of the person that is doing your hair and the vibe that you connect with. I love my clientele because they come with me from every angle in life, from either reaching a certain age to how to deal with my child who is gay and wants to come out, and I don't know how to deal with that. Wow.
Speaker 4:Like I get all of that in there. I've had people miscarry and come in and talk about that. I've had marriages, divorces, spouses cheating on each other. I've had all of that in my chair and as a stylist, you have to take the third party and take a step back and say let's analyze this from the point of view that keeps me, as a person, neutral and also makes the person in your chair feel heard and understood.
Speaker 1:So it's the fine line. That is like really hitting me, because everyone needs their hair cut through all of that. So it's like you're still going to do all that, even if you're a total mess.
Speaker 4:Wow, it's fun.
Speaker 2:And also just the similarities of a therapist and a hairstylist, just even in like concrete things. You have somebody sit in a chair. Yes Right, You're taking that more objective, like you know, neutral stance with them. They're going to come back to you.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 2:I mean, maybe they are, maybe they are but it's the same thing with therapists, right like.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, there's a lot of similarity and overlap there yeah, I'm so curious like and it's confidential, I mean, unless you go to the same stylist like you yeah, because you like don't know a lot of people in there personally, yeah, I mean I do know a fair amount of people out there just because I've been in this industry for such a long time and doing it.
Speaker 2:Sure, that I've known it's more the fact that when you hear something, how to not react when you see them in public yeah, and I guess what I mean by it's confidential is yeah, people divulge this knowing probably that like, well, this is my, this is my person.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right, this is my person and so it's like you two, and so it's lovely to have that connection, but also realizing that, hey, if you're safe enough to share this information with me, that means that I must be a person that you're comfortable with, right, and I'm going to keep that information Like, I'm not going to go spread it around or especially put names to people's faces and stuff like that, but like I might go home and talk to my husband about like, oh my god, my client did this today, or oh my god did they owe me this, but I never just goes who was a client and you have that stuff.
Speaker 1:So yeah, that's almost like I I have heard this before like I know people that are lawyers and they have, like attorney client privilege. But there are some cases where attorney client privilege, like it, extends to the spouse isn't that kind of funny wow which, like we don't have that in therapy, but but kind of interesting, Like it's okay to like share in that context, which is so interesting, I'm even realizing too, like with my hairstylist.
Speaker 1:I've seen him for a long time and shout out to Sam and like I do feel like for that, like 40 minutes to an hour. It feels very like intimate, you know, because like, like it's almost like I come in and it's like together we're designing like my look and it's like which is a huge part of my life no, it is yeah, and it's like we'll talk about it and then we'll talk about each other's lives and like catch up and our families. And he does my mom's hair, he does my cousin's hair, he like does so many people in my life's hair now. But it's like, yeah, it is such that you're so right that it's like the whole world like drops away and it's just you and that person.
Speaker 4:You can even be in a busy shop with tons of people around and half the time you don't notice what's around you because you're so engaged with each other and that's like the best thing about doing what I do. It's like I have those personal touches with my clients for that time that I have them in my chair for those personal touches with our my clients for that time that I have them in my chair for and, yes, it's confident.
Speaker 4:Like I love the confidential part of it because, like I said, we become almost like a sub friend or even sometimes sub families right, like we're the they're only outlets sometimes, but they can't go home and talk to anyone else yeah.
Speaker 1:So how do you feel when someone like you said someone came to you and said, like my child like wants to come out? How does that feel?
Speaker 4:That one is tricky. Yeah, I always tell every parent that has a child who is part of the rainbow community.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Let them come to you.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:They will come to you when they're ready. You can't force it, because the more you force it, the more you talk about it, the more they retreat, because sometimes they're unsure about themselves. So you have to let them come to you. One of the best things is one of my clients. He has a child who is non-binary. I did not know that, meeting the child, and because of my industry, I refer to anyone who I can see that may be in that transitional period or that kind of like, that skewity um. I always refer to them as they them, just because I cover my bases to keep everyone safe and without knowing I talk to their kid and I'm like so you know, they them, I use all their proper pronouns. And he turned to me with tears in his eyes and goes you are the first person to address my kid as non-binary. That's so nice, that's huge, it is huge.
Speaker 4:And it's like okay, well, that was just being me.
Speaker 3:Right yeah.
Speaker 4:And then I have another client who, his son, just came out a couple years ago, yeah, and before that he was asking me questions like what do I do, how do I react? And I'm like you don't do anything, you just sit there with your arms wide open like a good dad does. And as soon as he says he's ready to talk, you just talk and give him a big hug and let him know he's still loved, because that's the biggest problem a lot of kids face.
Speaker 1:They fear that they're losing that. People come with these big life and and you also have to like cut their hair.
Speaker 4:Yeah you cannot be in my chair and leave crying. I'm sorry that is not my personality I'm a bubbly person you can ask anyone who loved everyone like I, just ask all like josh ask him I mean I I obviously feel comfortable with you because we've barely had any guests on the pod and you're one of the first people I asked.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do think it's part of the way you make people feel.
Speaker 4:Yeah, like so comfortable, yeah, and I want people to have a good time. I want someone to say, oh yeah, I had this deep conversation with Brio, but still left on a good note and giggling and laughing, or even if I say something stupid like. My to-go line for everyone to leave is like please have a wonderful day and cause some trouble. Go out there and cause. Don't get in trouble, just cause the trouble.
Speaker 3:Cause some serious trouble out there.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I mean the fact that you're actually still. What's funny is, as we were talking about this, I was like and you said and you're cutting their hair. I was like, oh yeah, you are still cutting, like I almost like was just thinking you're just doing therapy Could you imagine if we had to cut hair in the middle of a meeting. I can barely write notes.
Speaker 2:I feel, like when I'm writing notes, sometimes I'm like wait a second, hold on and I miss something. Yeah, Because I can't imagine doing something as complicated as styling hair while you're holding space for these types of things. Right, that's like next level, like mental gymnastics.
Speaker 4:Do you try doing a haircut in 20 minutes, doing all of that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I mean I can't.
Speaker 1:It's so interesting, that's why I do what I do and not what you do. That's hard. Have you, John, ever treated your hairstylist as your therapist?
Speaker 2:You know, I don't think I've had. I had one very consistent stylist. It was was like my parents and then they just like took me to her and she like knew everything. That was like going on because she cut my dad's hair and my mom's hair and me and my brother's hair, so like it was more just kind of like catching up about like her family and and our family.
Speaker 2:And then as I got older I actually like babysat her kids for a while when I was like in high school and yeah, but it was never like the kind of like deep, like divulging things and I think that was more of a product of usually like we would go in some unit to get our hair cut so there's always somebody just kind of like sitting outside the door so like it was like me and my brother are just gonna go when we were old enough to drive and like we're just gonna go to Lori and get our haircuts or like when I was little, my parents were right there with it um, and then?
Speaker 2:as I like, moved to Chicago and things I never really had anybody consistent enough yeah, yeah, do that, but to be your regular yeah now I kind of go with my kids. It's kind of like the same thing where yeah, um, but Sarah's co-worker Gia cuts our hair, which is great so she'll come over to our house and do it, but we've been going. Now that the kids are older, we've been going to um her studio more which is great.
Speaker 1:So you know it's funny. This is making me think about a lot of. I do feel like this doesn't happen a ton, but like I've had clients, or even like in group john and I used to do group therapy together and john still does a lot of group therapy um, like clients talking about like some issue that maybe they would bring up in therapy. They'll be wondering like almost like is it okay if I kind of talk about this more like with my friends or with my whatever, like wondering if that's okay or if they're like trying to like avoid therapy or something and I'm like by all means like these other places that are non-clinical.
Speaker 1:That's the goal. Right, like you're getting support, you're supporting yourself, getting support from your hairstylist, your you know mom, your husband, your friends, you know, like you do want to actually have that like network of support. So I always say I do think it's wise to treat your hairstylist if, if, if, you're not overburdening your stylist which, of course, like that can even happen to us like being overburdened you know, with like reaching out to us outside of session a lot and I, you know, I have different like boundaries with this depending on the case and the situation.
Speaker 1:But you know there can be where it's like too much, I'm sure have you ever experienced that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there was a few times where clients have. Well, one of my clients, she, was going to a divorce.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And she found out that her husband was doing group sessions in their home, oh God. And so she was asking all kinds of advice, and all I can tell her is number one is I can hear everything you want to say. I am not a lawyer. I can't help you with that aspect.
Speaker 4:I can't tell you what to do with that aspect. So that would be the first thing is contact a lawyer. Second thing is all the information you're giving me. Right now I only have you in my chair for such a small amount of time that I'm like I can't help you. Past this point you need to go talk to someone and have them guide you a little bit more, because I can give you my advice here. But my advice might not be the most sound advice because let's just say, I am a hairdresser. I do hair for a living. Sometimes revenge is the best petty thing you can do. I will tell her, put his clothes in the car, burn it and then just laugh and giggle.
Speaker 3:It's fun. Don't do that. Don't ever do that, don't ever do that.
Speaker 4:But that's the stuff I would do to get my clients to laugh after a certain thing that happens.
Speaker 3:I love it.
Speaker 4:But yes, like I do tell them that sometimes, like, yeah, even for us it's a lot, uh, when people give us a lot of things but a lot of stylists nowadays I think, because of the more awareness that we have with mental health, that we are okay with saying, hey, that I, that's, I can't, that's not, that's out of my pay, like my pay rate, right I can't do that here, so I'm gonna tell you to go somewhere else for sure.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, no, that's a great way to redirect it while also keeping that relationship with them, right, like I hear you, and yeah, yeah because it's hard to redirect people when they're I mean in the therapy space, when people are, you know, divulging whatever and, and, or they're asking for advice, or asking kelly and I like what should we do? Like pinpointing like I tell me what I we do.
Speaker 1:Like pinpointing like tell me what I should do and it's like tell me how to cut my hair. Yeah, like not really what we're here for to tell you what to do so yeah, that can be tough to yeah, hold that boundary in the space because you don't want to rupture it, yeah yeah, and we have more like the nature of our context is like boundaried and that's all so upfront, but it's more kind of casual and fluid, like going to your hairstylist.
Speaker 4:So, yeah, sometimes you have to, probably Because I mean, I have clients give me hugs and I have clients, I have clients even give me kisses and you know, like it's just it's, you become like friends and family to people, and so it's like with friends and family. You want to include them with what's going on in your life, and sometimes what's going on in your life might be a little too much for them to handle too.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, Talking with when, especially like Kelly and I would like supervise new clinicians there's sometimes a feel like a need for new clinicians to like fill all the space and like talk the entire time and like silence is really a hard thing for like new therapists to sit in and myself included when I was a new therapist, and maybe Kelly as well. But how do you feel about, like when there's a client of yours that comes in and it's just quiet, like do you try to engage more? Do you just kind of sit in that and that's kind of I'm following their lead? Maybe they just kind of want to be quiet? I'm always curious about like silence in the chair, whether it's therapy or hair stylist.
Speaker 4:I'm very direct. Okay, I'm a very direct person.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:So I ask them right away, like okay, so I know you're not talking and that's okay, it's fine, but I have to ask a few questions to get from point A to point B right, like I got to check things out. If you don't want to talk about what's going on right now, great, I respect your boundaries, but just know that I still have to do my job. Yeah, and I leave it very blunt and dry in that aspect.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 4:But I also, as I'm cutting their hair, I'm like is there something going on Do talk about? Or is like, hey, what? Like you're normally talkative, but today you're not, like, is everything okay? And I just ask simple questions and they engage the way they want to engage and I just kind of lead with that yeah, yeah, and kind of, or some of these questions you have to ask, like hair related yes, a lot of questions are hair related.
Speaker 4:like you know, typical men's haircut, like how you know we're going short, is this enough length on top? You know we're changing something different. Usual, like if it's a new client that is quiet and I don't know who they are, and I just ask them like, hey, if you're naturally quiet, great, wonderful. Because I talk a lot, I see so many people a day that a little bit of silence is going to save my voice and I am okay with it. Sure, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, this is making me realize like I must feel very close to my hairstylist, because we will have these like bouts of silence for both of us, I think are like totally fine with it, and then something will come up yeah, it's like a nice lull it's like wow, it does feel very like, yeah, intimate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I also have a second hairstylist because I had hair extensions, so I have two. He one sent me to the other for my extensions and I would see her with extensions. You see someone every like four weeks. So, my God, yeah, she definitely got treated like my therapist, cause it was while I was wedding planning, so yeah, and she had a private room, like she rented a little room, so you could really. I could say anything I. I mean, I was like hosting my own podcast.
Speaker 2:She was like into the void. Yeah, totally, totally, I was going to dump for three hours or however long it was. I'm just dumping it all.
Speaker 1:Trauma dump.
Speaker 3:Leave it all here yeah, totally.
Speaker 2:That's really funny, yeah.
Speaker 1:So now I'm curious because you had mentioned earlier you're like thinking about like wisdom, just with hair in general. Yes, can I ask like what? What do you think like? Is there like a major thing, because you do mostly men's hair or you do women's?
Speaker 4:hair. I do everything. So I'm like I'm a fully rounded person. I don't do that much color anymore, just because I have noticed in the last few years that color has diminished with the income coming towards me. So I was like you know what it's not worth me doing, like spending that much time on someone who's not going to appreciate what I'm doing. So let me just not like, I'll just and I do have my color clients that are my special people okay, that I do do everything with um and I do everything from balayage to. I even can do a perm if people want to do a perm. But I don't really do perms. That much do people still do. You know they're very popular with little boys nowadays.
Speaker 4:Really All those little boys are having these broccoli haircuts and all these big giant messy, curly, messes, and they come in and they want curly hair and sometimes you have to break their hearts until they'll know.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So you will say you're like, if this doesn't look good, on this person.
Speaker 4:I'm a very blunt person, like again. Like I said, I'm very direct with my um. So when someone comes in who has curly hair and brings me a picture or a reference photo of someone with straight hair, the first thing in my mouth is you do know that this is straight and your hair is curly, right, so like I can cut your hair to make it look like this, but you do know that to get this, look.
Speaker 4:It requires you to do so much to your hair every day. Or these little boys come in that want these haircuts they have, have lots of curls and it's like dude, I'm sorry, but your hair is like mine, it's straight. There's nothing you can do to make it look curly or messy or to do all that, unless you get a perm. And then you have to talk to them about that and tell them here's what to do for that, and a lot of boys nowadays are getting perms. It's coming back.
Speaker 1:I mean now I it's coming back. I mean now I have like a million questions because right ahead I mean I think it takes so much strength to be really honest, like when a client comes in and say like I know you love that picture, but like that person has so such a different look than you. If I go that direction with you you're gonna hate it. So it's soft.
Speaker 4:Okay, it's called.
Speaker 1:Uh, you do the compliment sandwich yep, yep, you do the sandwich you give them Yep, yep, you do the sandwich.
Speaker 4:You give them a compliment, you tell them what's wrong with everything, and then you compliment them at the end. And that's like a golden rule that everyone should live by.
Speaker 4:When you're trying to talk about things that are not like you want to persuade someone away from, and it takes practice. Everyone's really good at doing it, but it does take practice. We do have some outrageous cuts that people come in that you kind of have to sometimes like grit your teeth and like, all right, this is not going to be good and I know this is what you really want. I advise you against this. But at the end of the day, you're the paying customer and I have to give you what you want?
Speaker 4:Wow, it's so interesting. Everyone know Joe Dirt. Yeah, I gave someone that haircut the other day oh okay, I kid you not it was a joe dirt mullet.
Speaker 2:They loved it I told them don't tell anyone who cut your hair, but they love it super long I'm back almost flat top and then like, yeah, are there some lines in the side? There is, there is like the racing stripes on the sides of it and it's like super short, super long it's very You're saying you don't do that at least once a week to somebody. No, I'm kidding, I do.
Speaker 4:I do. I'll do it with my fair amount of mullets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those are so that's the modern mullet right.
Speaker 4:The modern mullets are the C cup. You see a lot. You see a lot of guys are post-modern mullet. Yeah, so we're doing the modern go see cut the sea cut. Lunch are the modern mullet okay, good, um, wow, and then, uh, the other mullets were kind of fading out again. Um, they're still popular, but they're not as popular as the edgar, the what, oh my god, these kids call it the ice cream haircut. The ice cream, ice cream. The ed and the broccoli haircut are the popular haircuts amongst kids right now.
Speaker 1:So what's the ice cream?
Speaker 4:The ice cream haircut literally looks like you put a hat on and you blow dry your hair all around that hat to make it stick up.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Speaker 4:Stop, could you not, girl? Look it up. Look it up, girl, it is.
Speaker 2:And when you say these kids, these are like high schoolers high schoolers to like middle school middle middle school to high school, yeah, okay the young, like young boys.
Speaker 4:The older boys are still doing actually they're doing it still they shouldn't really stop wow um, yeah, they're still doing it I mean, I appreciate a strong take like a look, I get it, but I always tell like this is the way I look at it is. Every single person in the world has photos of them when they were younger and look back and say what in God's gay green earth?
Speaker 2:was I doing? Yeah, no guilty. I had a rat tail at one point and so like it's this generation.
Speaker 4:This is their thing, right this is their bad hair cut.
Speaker 2:They have to suffer through. I also had frosted tips at one point.
Speaker 4:I had a mullet. I Also. It had frosted tips. At one point I had a mullet, I had a platinum blonde mohawk, Because you know, who didn't want to be like. Mark McGrath. I had short, short, short. I had hair down to my knees Sugar Ray yeah yeah, yeah, why not?
Speaker 3:Stud.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was totally embodying Mark McGrath.
Speaker 1:So many eras of bangs. Yeah, oh, my life has more meaning and value when I don't have bangs, because they're so hard to deal with at times.
Speaker 4:But I saw someone with cool bangs and was like so you would actually let go of curtain bangs, do you think?
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, yeah, like shorter.
Speaker 4:No, no, no, no, don't go too short, they kind of like keep them, kind of like bottom of the eye, and longer just doesn't look good.
Speaker 1:yeah, curtain bangs all right, maybe I'm making an appointment booker. Now see, this is the thing too. Like this is where, like I lose all wisdom because I'll I will see someone with a cool haircut and be like well, tomorrow I have to get that haircut, and I won't like sit with it and like chill and like consider, would that even look good on me? Or like I should ask a professional like what could I never do? What could I do?
Speaker 2:Or like, or have faith that your professional will tell you. You do know that that person's hair, much like Brio, just told us.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right.
Speaker 2:Like you do know that this person's hair is this way and yours is this way, and so yeah. It might not yeah Right.
Speaker 1:And maybe your stylist is like that. I mean, it's interesting just how similar it is to our profession in that way, where it's like you have to tell hard truths. You kind of have to In a soft way In a soft way and you do have to like help someone really see.
Speaker 2:Give that dose of reality.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally. Which can be hard?
Speaker 3:Yeah, totally which can be hard, well, if you're ever thinking of switching your style up to?
Speaker 4:something super cool. One good tip you can do is ask the person who does your hair what does it take for me to look like this picture every day? Yes, because that will tell you if you have determination to do that, because some styles take over an hour to do every day, and if you're willing to put the time in, by all means go for it. But if you're not someone who can or is willing to do it, then you might want to talk twice to the person who's cutting your hair.
Speaker 1:Right, that is a really good tip. Yeah, what do you think are some of the major mistakes out there with hair, like men's hair or women's hair?
Speaker 4:Stop bleaching your hair at home all right, listen up everyone.
Speaker 4:No bleaching no bleaching well how do you even bleach at home? People buy those home hair kits that you can get from the grocery store or from sally's beauty supply, and they bleached her own hair at home. Bleach is one of the biggest things we have to kind of like correct a lot of, and it's because people don't know how bleach works, they think they put it on there. You're going to end up with the golden blonde or you're going to end up with, like, the color you want. You don't realize there's a whole nine other colors in your hair that you have to break through to get to the color that you want.
Speaker 4:Oh, god, yeah, and so it is not an easy thing, so please don't do it. If you're going to do it, talk to someone who does their hair and speak to them. If you can't afford it in the shop, most likely you can find someone that can do it at your home, if you get them alcohol.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's a great tip. That's like insider information there.
Speaker 1:I mean I love it. It yeah like make friends with a stylist, exactly. Yeah, I'm over for wine and dinner and have them bleach your hair at home.
Speaker 2:I promise you they'll eventually do it. A really good idea. Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1:Wow, yeah like what's the end goal with?
Speaker 2:bleach. They think if they do it they're gonna look blonde yeah, yeah, that's the and then what does it end up looking like?
Speaker 4:so depends on the level that you start with. So if your hair is darker, like yeah, they have like hair color. Like me there's almost black, or even between a level 4 or 5, or even yourself that has that kind of like that chocolatey brown. Those hairs most likely end up orange every single time there is orange yikes not Jessica.
Speaker 3:Chastain orange.
Speaker 4:No, not like a good orange either, like a fire engine orange? No, it is literally. Looks like you left the banana peel outside and it kind of rotted a little bit.
Speaker 2:Oh man, yeah.
Speaker 4:Sun, bleach and rot is what you're going to get. Yikes, Wow, oh my gosh, so that's like the number one. That is my number. One thing Like don't do it, Yep. Number two is for the men. Okay for the men. Okay, yeah, I want to hear when you are trimming your sideburns down. Do not go past where your ear connects to your head do not go past. Do not go past that if you go any higher than that, it looks like you cut into your hairline and it's extremely difficult to fix got it you know, who has that?
Speaker 4:every man out there who does their own yes, there's so many nicholas cage oh yeah his hair looks crazy.
Speaker 1:I mean, his is like something's going on there. I don't know what that is, but I was like I remember I was like studying it one day, because I'm like this is like something's wrong, and I was like, and then I'm like he like cut off his whole sideburn. I almost think maybe men even need it a little bit lower I like sideburns are good for men right a little bit, but some guys don't like them and I understand that, but please, do not go.
Speaker 2:I I usually have it connecting yeah, yeah, yeah, it's connecting in the beard. You gotta connect it into the beard. You've got to connect it sorry, I cut you off no, you're good, you're fine, like I, probably same thing.
Speaker 4:Yeah, sideburns, don't you know? Just don't go too high with them when you're trimming yourself, do you?
Speaker 2:yeah, what do you think, do you think? Do you think somebody trims the one side and then they're like oh, I gotta go a little bit higher because I trimmed it and then, and then it's like a balancing act and then, before they know it, even it out.
Speaker 2:And yeah, before they know it they're in the, because I know I've I've never done it that high, but I know there have been times where I'm like god, I can't fucking get this like I'm I got one side. And what am I standing on a phone book, like one foot on a like. I can't get this but I could I could totally see how, if I wasn't really thinking or paying attention, I would be going just like up too much.
Speaker 4:I completely get that tick for that one is if your dominant hand, you want to do the other side first, that makes sense and then do your dominant side after that, never thought of that.
Speaker 2:And you know what I don't do that, oh my god, genius, everyone always starts the dominant side and they move on to their submissive side, always start with the submissive and then do the dominant afterwards.
Speaker 1:Dominant submissive.
Speaker 4:Well, we do, because we all have a dominant side. Yeah, and we all have one's a little bit more submissive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so if you're either, lefty or you're righty.
Speaker 4:either one yeah.
Speaker 2:Listeners if you haven't paused and gotten a pad of paper. You need to do it now because you need to write this down. I need to write this down.
Speaker 1:Now I think that's probably a good tip too for curling your hair. Curl the submissive side first, because mine will be a little like one's a little higher than the other sometimes.
Speaker 4:So, yes, um, when you are curling your side, that's not dominant. You have a tendency to raise your hand or drop it down low. Most people raise their hand, so that way you're, if you go from your left to your right the angle is always going to be slightly curved down. Yes, and if you go, from your right to your left.
Speaker 1:You're naturally curved up so, oh, my god, yeah because, yeah, when sam does it, because he's not me, it it's all even and it looks good. And then I'm like, oh, when I do my own hair, okay, so maybe do my submissive first. Yeah, I'm really trying to study my own. I mean, this is great advice I love it, anything else that? Comes to mind as a question.
Speaker 4:I'm literally an educator for my company.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I will answer any hair questions anyone wants. Does your husband work in hair?
Speaker 4:No, my husband actually works in medical field. He works for a company called Option Care Health. Okay, I'm not sure if I can put that on TV or on this show oh, got it Okay. Just because he does things. He works for a pharmacy company and he deals with IV home infusion oh, okay, and do you do his hair? I do his hair. I do almost all of our friend group's hair except for one, Matt come see me, matt, you'll notice, otherwise Brio will find you. He's our friend of mine, we go together, we're everywhere.
Speaker 2:So he's found you.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 1:What's Matt's deal? Is he like attached to his hair?
Speaker 4:Matt is a gentleman who either shaves his head because he's bald or like thinning, or sometimes he lets it grow Depends on his mood. But he has a beautiful beard and I would just I'm dying to play with his beard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, god love it.
Speaker 4:Totally yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, interesting, interesting, do you?
Speaker 4:and your husband ever differ on the style of his hair? No, my husband's very OCD, so I cannot differ from his style. I have to make sure that he gets what he wants, the only time we differ is he tries to grow his mustache out, and I refuse to let him grow it out.
Speaker 1:Okay, that is it yeah.
Speaker 4:Yeah, he wants one of those big, bushy, burly mustaches, and if he can do it I would let him, but he cannot I feel like a lot of gay guys are doing that.
Speaker 1:It's not thick enough.
Speaker 4:It's missing the little gap in the middle. Oh, okay, and to get it full you have to grow it really, really long and then it looks unkempt Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally, I think yeah, my wife is, I think, diabolically opposed to me having a mustache.
Speaker 4:Actually, you would look really good if you grew your mustache out a little bit longer and kept the beard super short, yeah.
Speaker 2:Because she's opposed to it.
Speaker 1:She is yeah.
Speaker 2:And I'm always. I just want to like, do it. I'm like maybe like for a vacation. I'll just like grow everything out and then I'll just shave right before we go, leave the mustache, and she's like don't do that.
Speaker 1:So you think, John, with just mustache?
Speaker 4:No, the mustache like fuller with the scruffy beard. So keeping the beard nice and short and then when the mustache get a little fuller, that look will look really good on you.
Speaker 1:What do you think of? Like the 70s? Just mustache.
Speaker 4:If you have it, rock it, rock it. If you have it, rock it. Because I've seen a lot of gay guys lately with it and great, there's a lot of gay men are growing a mustache now and, believe me, it is a very attractive look if they have the proper mustache. If they have the proper mustache.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if they have the facial for it.
Speaker 4:Go for it.
Speaker 2:Yes, throw it out. I've just never done it. It's like I got to do it at some point Tomorrow I'll have bangs, you'll have.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have a mustache. I'm gonna send you a picture.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna send you a picture at 7 30. I'm going to work like I shaved day one, day one day one, brio said I could do it.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'm doing it. I will argue with wives. If you need me, do it. Okay, we need it.
Speaker 2:My boys are on board with it, both of my sons boys, you should show him a picture of their hair
Speaker 1:oh they have the thickest heads of hair you've ever seen, on two kids it's very thick.
Speaker 2:My wife's hair is very thick as well, and mine, obviously because I'm aging is just thinning, but I used to have a lot of hair. I've never seen hair like your kids. Can I give a?
Speaker 4:pro tip for guys who are thinning hair yeah, gentlemen, if your hair is thinning, make sure that, if you're wearing a baseball hat, that it's breathable, because if it isn't breathable, that suffocates your hair and makes your hair fall faster.
Speaker 1:No, okay, so breathable, like the netting on his, like the netting in the back.
Speaker 4:Make sure they have lots of air holes in there to get some oxygen flowing in there. Okay, because it can suffocate your hair and it'll make it fall out faster wow, and what do you think about products like rogaine?
Speaker 2:give me one moment we're looking at the hair of the kids oh my god, I love their hair there's a yeah, my, my oldest used to have long hair as well, but he, he's gone short now, so they have those barrel curls and then shane's here. The blonde is like he. I don't know if there's going to be a stop to how long, because I'm like how long you want he's like so he's gonna grow like to his shoulders I have no idea. He just doesn't care about. I mean, he cares about not being cut. He's just so like we. You know, take him and he'll get a little bit trim yeah major yeah anyway, what were you just saying?
Speaker 1:Yeah, what do you feel about things like Rogaine?
Speaker 4:Oh, rogaine, oh Rogaine. Again, I am not a doctor. Talk to your doctor first. Make sure that what you're using is the best product for you as a person. But all of the medication out there is literally a band-aid. None of that is permanent. Everything is meant to slow the growth or the fallout follicles, to kind of a snail's pace a little bit, so it slows it down to more of a normal stance. It's still going to fall out, it's just going to fall out at a much slower rate. The only thing out there that is permanent at the moment are the surgeries, and even those are not always permanent. Oh, like in Turkey, mm-hmm, yep. So those are the ones. Like you know, all the hair transplants and, as of right now, in my opinion the best transplants I have seen to come into my shop have been the ones performed in Turkey.
Speaker 4:I don't know what they're doing out there but they come back and it almost looks natural. It is amazing. Yeah, it's like what is this?
Speaker 2:a witchcraft or something, and not that I certainly am not trying to put you in the spotlight of like being a medical professional or anything, but I get a lot of obviously mental health articles and there was one article I read a while ago about is it finasteride? Finasteride and people like having really bad withdrawal symptoms and then becoming depressed and almost suicidal coming off it.
Speaker 4:It's the anti-hair loss thing it is. It's like a medication you take oily.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was like an article about. It was like interviewing a few people who like or like. I would strongly suggest people don't go on the again we're not giving advice here, but like it was just like their mental health completely as they tried to like get off it, like really went downhill which that could be with any. You know, all medications have side effects and things like that. But it was just interesting that that was like clued into kind of my feed because of the mental health aspect, but anyway, well, I imagine because deal with hormones.
Speaker 4:Yeah, there is products out there that are DHT blockers in them and DHT is dihydrogen testosterone.
Speaker 4:It's the chemical imbalance in testosterone that makes your hair fall out and the product stays in your hair for about two days. So every two days you wash your hair with a special shampoo or conditioner and it kind of keeps the AT from attacking the hair follicles, falling it out. So that is a safer alternative out there. But again, talk to your doctor and make sure that your doctor and you are on the same exact page with everything. And please ask as many questions as possible when it comes to your own health, especially when you're taking things for hair growth.
Speaker 4:Because one of the side effects is hair growth. Is hair growth If you are a man and you're taking hair growth products every part of your body has hair on it.
Speaker 3:It can make it grow.
Speaker 4:Yes, so, be, prepared for that as well.
Speaker 1:Totally Be prepared. It's getting everywhere. It's getting everywhere, yeah.
Speaker 2:The other thing in talking about just baldness and things like that, have you had the conversations like we're not working with much up here? We just got to go we got to think about a new look, maybe a bald look. How does that conversation land?
Speaker 4:I pride myself on telling my clients again, I'm very direct with my clients. Yeah, I'm honest with them. I'm like, hey, so you do know that I feel like I'm stealing your money and I tell them just like that, I feel like I'm taking your money, right. I'm pulling your hair and there's nothing much to do. There's nothing up here, so I would recommend that we do something different. Yeah, but again, it's not up to me, it's up to the person in my chair and they're like but I still want to comb it over.
Speaker 2:I still want to. I still have tons of people. I have one gentleman who is.
Speaker 4:He does have a haircut that's a comb over. And it is to the point where there is literally like nine or 10 strands of hair that comb over and he still refuses to let it go. He's just, he's holding on, yeah, and he, he's holding on, yeah, holding and so, and he's not young, and I think that's what it is the fact that he's like he's a little bit older, yeah, which I'm not making light of that.
Speaker 2:I mean my hair. I remember I think it was early in our podcast recordings where I I think I had mentioned that I went to my barber yes, yeah, and I remember him being like kind of thinning up here or something like that, and he like roasted me and I was like and I mean it does like for somebody myself who has had like a lot of hair, like thicker hair. It was kind of like a shot, I was like totally, oh my god, I'm gonna lose my hair like at some point so I'm not like that's.
Speaker 2:That can be devastating for people right and we're not just talking men here, anybody exactly.
Speaker 4:I mean people get alopecia. I have a few clients alopecia.
Speaker 4:They have spots, you know, like complete bald spots on their head, yeah, and hadn't cut their hair around that. Like I have that kind of conversation with people and again I reiterate, we're not doctors, you know, we just do hair for a living and so like, please talk to a doctor about this, because if I could see something going on, then there is. But if you are embracing it, more power to you. Yeah, totally Embrace it, go for it, rock it out, I love it. Grow a good beard if you could Do it.
Speaker 1:Go for it. Yeah, yes, totally. Something I work a lot with is body dysmorphia and I imagine some of that comes in a little bit.
Speaker 4:Yes, yeah, there's a few younger people that come in that either are. They think that they are way bigger than what they are. And us, as hairdressers, we are always promoting beauty and trying to talk to someone who's young or even someone who's struggling with their weight. It's like telling them that they're beautiful, no matter what they look like right. No matter what your size is. You're beautiful, but just know that you are loved for you, not for what's on the outside right. The outside is the outside.
Speaker 1:People love you for you, so be kind to yourself yeah, totally, because some, some body dysmorphia a lot of it is like weight, body size, shape, and then, too, like there is some where it's like obsessing about a feature like their hair, their hair, their muscles, their legs, their arms or fingers or nose or eyes we get so much of.
Speaker 4:Can you cut my hair to make my lips look bigger? Can you cut my hair to make my eyes look smaller?
Speaker 2:can you cut my hair to make?
Speaker 4:my neck look thinner yeah interesting. So we get those questions and yes, we can play the optical illusion with hair, to kind of emphasize or hide things.
Speaker 4:But yes, we have a lot of people that come in with body dysmorphia. I have a gentleman client who is beautiful. He is six foot four. This man is maybe 5% body fat, just like massive Adonis of a body, and he works out so hard because he just doesn't feel that he's pretty enough. Yeah, and he is like the sweetest person in the world, but what this? He just doesn't see the beauty and like.
Speaker 4:and even when I comment and tell him like dude, you look amazing, even me saying this, you look amazing, makes him cringe yeah and so I'm like it's hard to see someone who's like okay, you work really hard to look the way you do right, and you can't even appreciate your own hard work. Yeah, and when someone else appreciates, it makes you uncomfortable and it's like okay, so like how do you? You approach that like hey, you look good today, like what are we doing? Yeah, like, take away from that. Like let's take away from the, the body aspects, let's talk about your hair. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:Well, it's hard to be in the beauty space and when you see, like the idea of beauty being like a suffering thing for someone, I find that even like, because obviously it's like my clients see me like I put on makeup, I like care about my clothes, I like whateverorphia you know a client experiencing body dysmorphia. When I'm with them and I'm encouraging them to like de-center, like image, I think sometimes they're like so what? I'm like not allowed to care about this, you know, or like, even in your space, it's like this is what I do. I work in the beauty space.
Speaker 1:In the beauty space, it's like, you know, it can feel, I think, unfair sometimes if I'm like telling someone like let go here, when like it's a place where sometimes I don't totally let go, like I'm really into my hair. I'm really, yeah, as you know, I'm like into my appearance to an extent. So, yeah, it's like it can be a complicated zone and there is that healthy engagement with it, right, when it's like hair can be. Especially hair can be so fun and such like a self-expression. That doesn't have to be like trying to perfect yourself. It can be more like exploring, you know, getting to know yourself in different like forms, I think, but yeah, it's like it can be a tricky area, I imagine, but yeah, it's like it can be a tricky area.
Speaker 4:I imagine it can. A lot of people are extremely attached to their hair. Yeah, Almost, I think I would say the majority of the world is attached to their hair Totally.
Speaker 3:Their identity is with their hair.
Speaker 4:Yeah, right, like it's difficult and we manage people that are either losing their hair or don't have the proper hair texture in a way to make them feel that they're still pretty, their hair still looks good and there's not the big part of them as they think it is. Yeah, especially with men like struggling with the hair loss, like a lot of guys think that people they look ugly with a bald head or they look ugly or they're going to feel ugly and a lot of men are going bald younger.
Speaker 4:Yeah, totally feel ugly. And a lot of men are going bald younger yeah, I have. I have a fair amount of clients who are in the teen, like late teenagers and early twenties, who are bald already. And how do you tell someone who's that young that, hey, you're still pretty, I promise you still are pretty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, whenever, like most people around them look so different.
Speaker 4:Yeah, totally, it's so hard, or even going gray.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, that's a hard one yeah, yeah going gray is interesting because it doesn't really bother me, but it does bother it doesn't even my gray hair like bothers some people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it doesn't bother me at all and I probably had white showing in my beard like in my mid-20s, like I was starting to have like white hairs and then, like you know, gray up top.
Speaker 4:It never bothered me it's a double standard out there For sure, right, totally. For sure Like the men look dacker and they look handsome. And the silver fox.
Speaker 2:Silver fox yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What's the equivalent?
Speaker 1:Women look like an old crew.
Speaker 4:Yeah, but there's so many women out there with natural silver hair.
Speaker 2:Sure, oh yeah.
Speaker 4:Just as beautiful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 4:Silver hair is beautiful. If you look at it, it is gorgeous, it is lovely. And the thing about silver hair is there's a couple shampoos and conditioners out there that just by washing your hair you can get a purple, you can get a pink tint, you can get a blue tint in there.
Speaker 4:Wow, that's so there is, and it's literally just a wash, so it's in there for like for a day or two and then you wash her and it's right back. That's fine, and so like, there is still fun and it's still beautiful to be silver, silver hair is beauty and, honestly, everyone has earned every single gray hair. It's a badge of honor totally, yeah, totally yeah.
Speaker 1:I love gray, but yeah, it's like I mean I've even ask like when do you think you will start dying? And it's like it's funny that you're assuming that like I. Just I find when I see women letting it go, gray, I I never have the thought of like oh, I always think like cool and like you, you have this like confidence with that.
Speaker 1:That, I think, is like to me interesting. Now, of course, I have a double standard within myself because I'm like now wrinkles on the other hand, but trying to embrace those two, I mean it's just like an uphill battle, but yeah yeah, this is so.
Speaker 1:They're not going away, they're just gonna, they're just gonna keep coming they're gonna keep coming, they're just gonna keep coming yeah, I feel like there is so much wisdom in like confiding in your stylist, especially if the stylist is you, because you have such a, you take such care with it. But you also are so honest. I love what.
Speaker 4:I do that is one thing. I can tell anyone I've been doing. I think I celebrated my 21st year doing hair this year.
Speaker 1:Wow, you cannot be old enough to have been doing it. I turned 40 in May.
Speaker 4:Really, oh my God, it's very true what they say brown don't frown that's fine.
Speaker 1:Oh my god, I wouldn't put you over even 30.
Speaker 4:Oh my god, I'll be I just absolutely love what I do and I've always loved it, and it was either this marine biology, and I chose to do this.
Speaker 1:Oh, my god, love it, love it, so love what I do.
Speaker 4:But I kid you not, I have such a passion for what I do. Yeah, and it really does show in my work and I really do try to give everyone the best experience they possibly can. Yeah, and I want everyone to have a good and wonderful look. Yeah, and if I have to talk you out of doing something bad, I will do my hardest to do so to make sure that you still look good.
Speaker 1:Oh, and can I ask do you like working at your salon?
Speaker 4:I do, I do like working, so I work for Floyd's Barbershop. Yeah, shout out Right, hello Floyd.
Speaker 1:Anyone listening? It's amazing.
Speaker 4:Y'all know me, brio, your educator, whoop, whoop. So I've been there for about five years, going on my sixth um I used to work for a different company. Before that, and before I even moved to chicago, I worked at a full spur like spa service, so I'm also trained in full body wax as well as massage. Um, so like I did all of it, uh, love. Like I said, I love what I do. Um, but hair is really my passion it was my passion.
Speaker 1:Okay, I love it because I was thinking. I'm like, if you ever left floyd's, we would need to know where you went.
Speaker 4:If I ever left Floyd's, I think they would cry. Yeah, we would cry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, for Josh's sake, we would both cry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we would both cry. Well, you would obviously follow Bria.
Speaker 1:Well, but sometimes they don't let you tell people where you go.
Speaker 4:I'm easy to track down. Okay, I can't get away with anything.
Speaker 2:This isn't like witness relocation, I mean.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it happens Like someone leaves and they're like company's like you can't tell your clients oh no, they do.
Speaker 4:They do say that, like in this company policy, that you do not disclose where someone has left Because the way companies see it is that person, even though they come to see you. They are part of the company.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and they are part of the company?
Speaker 4:yeah, and you are? Yeah, there's a company's client yes, yeah, and so they want to keep that client. Um. Most times, clients do not stay there, what they do leave, and sometimes clients do stay at whatever shop they're at. So yeah, yeah and that's the nature of the work nature of the beast.
Speaker 1:yeah, same for us. Like leaving a bigger practice for me. Like there were clients I wanted to take that I couldn't, but then some like found their way to me to like my email my website, I think people find people.
Speaker 2:People find people.
Speaker 1:These days when they want to find people yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:That's why you just have QR codes randomly placed everywhere. Yeah, a, everywhere. Here's my contact qr yeah, yeah in case you need anything?
Speaker 1:yeah, and do you have any other questions for?
Speaker 2:no, but I had a random thought as we were talking about this. I always sometimes laugh when I see the just for men beard um the coloring yeah, the gray blending, because I always imagine I would never do it. It is a throwback. I always imagine me choosing the wrong color and then having a brown beard.
Speaker 4:That happens 97% of the time. I'm sure it does. It's not an exact science.
Speaker 2:I always have this image of me brushing it in and being like man, this is going to be great. Five minutes later, I come into the mirror and it's yellow. Usually it's the opposite it comes out black, black. Yeah, people have a tendency well, because people probably want it to look darker and they're always like, well, if I leave it on longer.
Speaker 2:It's gonna you know I'm like no, it's gonna get darker and then it's gonna look really fake right, oh my god, so no, I have no question, it was just as we were talking about products and stuff. I was like man.
Speaker 1:That just for men yeah, because just for men is.
Speaker 4:The idea is like you're gray but you want to pretend you're just going, gray it's kind of like dull some of the gray down a little bit and leave some behind, so you still have a few grays, but some of them are darker, some of them are lighter, so it's takes about five to ten years off of you, okay, um, from your when you're doing it. They also the same thing for like hair, for like guys, for the top of their head yeah, and the best thing about those kind of colors are they're not permanent.
Speaker 4:So, uh, they only last anywhere from six to ten washes, so the more you wash your hair, the more you wash your face, the faster that falls right out and there's no line of demarcation, so it's not like you're doing a permanent color. So if you're're thinking about it, talk to your stylist.
Speaker 1:Wow, Because you do that, I do everything, you do everything. You've heard it, folks.
Speaker 4:Literally, I will wax every part of someone's hair if I have to, I've done it before. I have no shame in my day, oh my.
Speaker 1:God, yes, I mean, we know many people need these discreet services. Yeah, yeah, okay, this has been amazing. I mean maybe we should move into our how Wise Is it question.
Speaker 2:How wise is it?
Speaker 1:Yes, Okay, so today our.
Speaker 2:How Wise Is it is? How wise is it to celebrate holidays early, which I think we're going to have some interesting takes here? Well, the context is it's August, it's August.
Speaker 1:Late August yeah.
Speaker 2:And we're starting to see Halloween stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. How do we all feel about that? Josh is shaking his head. Disgusting, disgusting.
Speaker 3:We drove by TJ Maxx. There's a bunch of pumpkins in the window Made me sad Pumpkins.
Speaker 2:What is the where does wisdom lie then, Josh pumpkin? What is the where does wisdom lie then, josh?
Speaker 3:yeah, like how embracing the present which that is not, but I guess part of the present is embracing that there's pumpkins in the window and it's 80 degrees outside, so I could just embrace that. I guess what would be your like what's the over under of?
Speaker 2:like it's not wise because it's pre-october, or is it like october one? You want to start seeing Halloween stuff, like what is?
Speaker 3:It feels like just being the present. Yeah, what do you want from us?
Speaker 2:No, Okay, but like you have to prepare for, a holiday?
Speaker 3:No, I know, and I guess then we're distinguishing between preparing for a holiday and celebrating the holiday.
Speaker 1:Oh, interesting, that is different. Well, because TJ Maxx is selling the goods, right.
Speaker 4:They're not celebrating, I mean, they weren't decorating. At all no, they're selling, they're selling everything they're selling. Yeah, they're selling.
Speaker 3:And they're celebrating nothing.
Speaker 4:Exactly, yeah, what is in?
Speaker 2:part of celebrating, preparing, I don't know, brio, what are your thoughts on this?
Speaker 4:I mean, preparing is a good you definitely can right, but I'm also that give every holiday its due time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Right, there's no need to rush it. We live in a world where everything's a now, now, now, yeah, and every now and then we take a step back and enjoy the journey more than destination.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, like does preparing too early interrupt? Yeah, like does preparing too early interrupt, like your ability to enjoy late summer? It's warm, it's like barbecues are still going. Labor day hasn't happened just yet, it's this weekend. Yeah, I wonder if that's where it's unwise, if it's interrupting that yeah, I.
Speaker 2:I mean, August seems pretty early for Halloween.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it is.
Speaker 2:I don't know if that's wise.
Speaker 1:Well, that's a good point, because I don't want to celebrate Halloween early. Personally, I think October 1st is great. Now Christmas. On the other hand, I'm kind of a Christmas gal, okay, I'm a. Christmas.
Speaker 2:So what's the over on that for you?
Speaker 1:you're celebrating like mid-november post halloween.
Speaker 2:I'm cool you're cool with it. I mean, like, are you getting out the tree?
Speaker 1:no but josh. I have a jewish husband who loves a christmas tree. So nice they're so nice, love a christmas tree and you like to keep it up a long time. I like to have it up. I think it's really festive, so maybe, like mid-November, I'm down to put it up.
Speaker 3:When did we put it up last year?
Speaker 1:Like December 1st, I think we didn't put it up until December.
Speaker 3:Because there is a camp of people that are like what about Thanksgiving?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:If you put the Christmasmas tree up before thanksgiving, well, but does the what does it detract, though, from your thanksgiving? I don't think so. I don't think so either. Go together.
Speaker 4:Yeah right, cozy I mean I, I would agree with that. They do go together.
Speaker 1:Right, you have the warm lights with the warm family like you know it brings warmth in the family yeah it celebrates happiness and yeah, it's great, but it is funny because I think some people I heard someone on a podcast recently they're like so I need to get something out there. They were like christmas is a fall holiday and nobody talks about that and I was like I guess these days with like the weather shifting due to climate, change. Oh, got it it does feel like a little bit sometimes, like Christmas isn't the fall Because there's a lot of Christmases. It's not snowing.
Speaker 2:Right, it's not even that real. Yeah, that's kind of where we've trended now.
Speaker 1:It almost seems like that a little bit.
Speaker 2:Or it just gets like bitter and it's cold but there's no snow, because, like Thanksgiving does feel like fall to me. I don't know what you guys think. Yeah, there's still like I've never had a one thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:There's still some leaves around yeah, feels, yeah, like leaves, but it's cold. It's just getting to that point where it's like too cold to like hang out outside yeah maybe what it is, too, is.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's the positioning of halloween being the first one that people are excited to just get it out there is. Maybe it's the positioning of halloween being the first one that people are excited to just get it out there early because it's like, oh, we're gonna be in the holiday season, so like if holidays were reversed or not reversed, but like I feel like people just want to bypass a little bit once we're coming towards the end of summer. Maybe it's a way to avoid that summer's ending. Yeah, what do you think? Like? Because you you were saying that you're sad that summer's ending yeah, I do, so I wonder if some people cope with that by being like.
Speaker 1:Well, the next thing to look forward to is all these great holidays that are coming out, like don't grieve, don't give yourself that space to mourn summer, just like get into fall get into the next thing grab a pumpkin spice so it's a control move scarf, I mean, I think in some ways it could be a control escape, avoidance, escape, move, control, like the pain of the loss of summer people go to your russies and josh what do you think about?
Speaker 3:I was at mariano's yesterday and in the on sale section there were some cakes that were frosted with the american flag, like kind of like maybe fourth of july stuff that they didn't sell. Is that more sad than the pumpkins?
Speaker 1:yeah, though it's that's sad because fourth of july is kind of funky anyway that's all right. Really, it made me laugh how bad is the bakery I know I was gonna say it almost feels like maybe that it's or is that? Are they trying to, are they?
Speaker 2:trying to like force. Like Labor Day is an American holiday, oh yes.
Speaker 3:Okay, maybe Is that what they're trying to do. I think so. That's less funny, but maybe more Healthy, healthy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like not dangerous. No who?
Speaker 2:knows it could be remnants of July 4th From a nutritional standpoint, from like a yeah food safety standpoint.
Speaker 1:That's so interesting. Yeah, like I'm not down for that. Trying to make Labor Day more than it is is like a little much.
Speaker 3:I don't need to make it. Yeah, I guess we're in a holiday drought technically.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, we talked about that. September is a bit of a holiday drought.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4:Labor Day. That's it. Yeah, it's Labor.
Speaker 1:Dayember to october. Those are like the busiest work months of the year because there aren't really holidays.
Speaker 4:To break it up thoughts well, yeah, I mean, I don't think I've ever thought about that yeah, yeah, there are no.
Speaker 1:It's like almost the only time of year, then, and like january, february are like the only times people like get any work done.
Speaker 2:I feel like so often it's like I'm on the office because, like, if you work for a place that luckily has president's day off or something like that then maybe you get a day off in february.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are like months of the year, well, the summer, the whole summer. It feels like like anyone I'm trying to reach over, email is like I'm out of the office for two weeks.
Speaker 2:It's like oh my god, no one's around which is that's a great thing too, I think yeah I love people taking time off and I mean one thing obviously is like holiday celebrating has just gotten earlier and earlier, as yeah I've gotten older, like it, just it's. I mean to have halloween stuff in august seems a little I know, and black friday gets really early.
Speaker 4:What happened to Black Friday? Now it's Black Wednesday.
Speaker 2:It's everything Monday, Tuesday yeah.
Speaker 4:And they tried to like make it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they tried to make it fun, right, because it was like, wasn't it Black Friday? And then it's small business Saturday, and then it's like Cyber Monday and then, but now it's like everything like Prime Day is like every other month. Oh my God, there's so many. Prime Days.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's just always a sale.
Speaker 2:Nothing's sacred anymore, Josh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, amazon owns all the holidays.
Speaker 4:That's a good story. Why don't you just open up a store that says holidays?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:If you all were so moved to decorate your home for Halloween.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my mom does that.
Speaker 4:Maybe you don't, maybe you don't, we do every year, okay.
Speaker 2:What is the day on the calendar that you kind of circle and you're like that's the day we're going to start doing that because that marks when we're going to start celebrating Halloween? What is that date for you all?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we don't put up Halloween decor too much, but I would imagine October 1st, let's say, you did.
Speaker 2:Let's say you did, and even if it was just like some pumpkins or something like that.
Speaker 1:Maybe it would be the last weekend of September.
Speaker 4:We usually start like first two weeks in October, first two weeks in October, we start decorating the house. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And then do you do like a Halloween party or anything.
Speaker 4:We do a pumpkin carving party every year and then we go up on the rooftop if it's a nice night and we watch scary movies on the rooftop.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, that's wild.
Speaker 4:We have a fire pit up there and everyone hangs out. We bring blankets and chairs.
Speaker 1:Amazing, what scary movies.
Speaker 4:Anything anyone wants. Okay, like really scary movies. So I grew up with a gay uncle who him and I, when I was a young kid I mean like six or seven we watched the Exorcist together and we would laugh and I just I found that the funniest thing in the world. I still find it hilarious. I see that movie now. All I do is laugh. I go look her head's spinning around, look she's puking green.
Speaker 4:Oh my God, like look, she's doing things with a cross like I just laugh at all of them oh my god, not scary, it is wild, that movie.
Speaker 1:It is very yeah josh. Josh edited a doc that was like a horror doc that's still in the works of production, um, and there were a bunch of exorcist scenes in it and josh basically found every one of the scariest scenes and put them together in a montage and it's like horrifying well, when it came out, it was apparently like people were losing their minds, which I didn't know it was very for the time was very graphic and violent for that yeah, like I think people were hospitalized
Speaker 1:mentally, yeah, after seeing it. Or people were like vomiting, throwing up, yeah fainting, totally yeah, but now I mean it does almost feel cartoonish now where it's almost funny.
Speaker 3:I think it's funny.
Speaker 4:I still laugh at it, but I laughed at it when I was six, so yeah wow, oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 1:That's so fun. Yeah, halloween is such a fun holiday because it's just fun. You know, it's not like too much family drama, it's like you're just having fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's not. There's not. I mean, the most pressure you have is probably like what are you gonna wear?
Speaker 1:what are you gonna wear?
Speaker 2:which that can be a lot of pressure true to think of a costume.
Speaker 1:So much anxiety for people yeah, yeah, well, yeah, because also it's like if you go to a party and you're like, oh, I just didn't dress up, it's like I mean that's the cardinal sin.
Speaker 2:Yeah and then you got like one friend who wants to do the group thing. Like we're going to be a group, so let's do a group costume or something like that. You know which? That can be hard because some people don't want to do that yeah.
Speaker 4:What was your favorite costumes? You're talking about Halloween.
Speaker 2:Halloween favorite costumes.
Speaker 4:Of all time, or like that you've seen, or just like you in general, like your costume.
Speaker 3:That we've worn. One time I was a pothead and I just put a pot on my head, which I guess I don't even know. I'm sure other people have done that. That's good.
Speaker 1:I was Wayne from Wayne's World one year and I loved that my friend was Garth. That was fun.
Speaker 2:It was David Bowie one year, I think I remember you showing me a picture of that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, like you were.
Speaker 2:Ziggy Stardust right yeah, Good era.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or maybe you were Aladdin Sane. Maybe that's who you were.
Speaker 1:Who's that?
Speaker 2:It was David Bowie, it was just another character. Oh, he's over there, that's when he has the lightning, the lightning bolt. Oh, that's yeah, aladdin's yes, and mia, our friend mia, who was on the pod, was guy fieri, exactly like that. Yeah, talk about bleach. It comes back to bleach, right, doesn't he bleach his hair?
Speaker 1:yeah, his hair is nuts his whole.
Speaker 2:Everything is nuts yeah, totally like his whole, like the rings and everything yeah he's got like flames on all of the clothing, so he's wearing flip-flops no matter the weather. It's crazy. Uh, I'm trying to think of an outfit or a costume that I had. I mean, I really liked when I was a kid and I would wear it all the time, just because I felt like I was him. Like I had this spider-man costume, like when I was like first or second grade and I just thought it was like the coolest thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah and I just wanted to be a superhero and I would like pretend to like climb on stuff, even though it was like yeah you can't climb on anything, but I was like yeah, I'm like falling all over the place like thinking I'm spider-man but, that costume. There's a picture of me, like my mom has of me, in that costume. I loved that costume. Like I still think about that costume.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I had a friend once who was a Franzia box and actually had a bladder, so if people came up to him he would give them. I mean it was warm but like Wait, do they call it a bladder? Well, it was like a yeah, it was like a yeah, what would be the other term for that? Like you know, the inside the box is the bladder right, like the.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, I didn't know. They said that. Maybe I just say that I mean, I love it what would you like a pouch? Yeah, I guess like the bag.
Speaker 2:Or that I don't know. Yeah, anyway, he had it, so then they would. He was like walking around as this box, and then people would come up to him and like get some wine that's fun yeah, that's cool what?
Speaker 4:about you yeah, last year I was a pink pony, unicorn and I went around playing chapel roan's pink pony pony club on my.
Speaker 1:Vespa all Halloween night, oh my God, and the giant inflatable pink unicorn. I mean, I'm sure, people One of those big inflatable ones right. Yeah, that's all I wrote about. Did everyone like sing with you?
Speaker 4:Either that or people were just like what the hell. It was the best thing ever, because it was just amazing to see people's reactions to a giant pink unicorn on a Vespa playing Chapel Row. Oh my God, the last few weddings.
Speaker 1:We went to where they played that song. I mean it's like the minute it comes on. People are like zombies to the dance floor, like obsessed. It's great Our band didn't play it.
Speaker 3:Our band didn't play it, and we did ask. Well, they threatened to play it. We just added Pink Pony Club to the list and they're like I think it's maybe on its last legs. This was in May.
Speaker 2:Not literally. No ponies were hurt.
Speaker 3:We were like oh, great, we love that song and then they neglected to play it. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh well, they played a lot of bangers though at your wedding. They did. What was your best costume? The pothead.
Speaker 3:No, no, probably Carfax.
Speaker 1:Oh, like Carfax.
Speaker 3:You know the Carfax fox. That's funny. Have you seen the Carfax Like the commercial? Yeah, so I dressed up as that. It's really easy. I got a white shirt. I just wrote Carfax on it and then I wore khakis because he wears khakis and then I think I got like fox ears. So I didn't have a mask or anything, but I think that was probably my best costume just for the obscurity yeah, definitely obscure, and I was like I'm gonna do Geico next year, but it's been a few years now.
Speaker 1:I know we haven't dressed up what are you gonna do next?
Speaker 2:like.
Speaker 3:Jake from state farm. We were ketchup and mustard, yes, no ketchup, mustard.
Speaker 1:That's right, because when we, when we met on hinge, they're like what's your hot take? And my hot take was I don't think ketchup and mustard are a good combo, and that's what you commented on and that's how we met, because I disagreed yeah, I know it's like most people think they are the combo that could be a how wise is a question to put ketchup with mustard? Yeah, oh my god, we're gonna edit this out.
Speaker 3:Actually, scratch that scratch that save it for the pod.
Speaker 1:So do we think celebrating early is wise?
Speaker 2:probably not I don't know.
Speaker 4:I think it depends on the holiday and you feel good and it really does make a lot of mean to you. By all means, celebrate the way you want to celebrate.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I can get down with that and if you don't get burnt out by it yeah like I feel like if you do it too early, or I guess if I did it too early I could see myself getting burnt out by it yeah and then it's like oh man yeah, it's like play it cool try to play it cool yeah and also be careful if it detracts like detracts from other holidays yeah like the the christmas or hanukkah versus thanksgiving yeah or quans of it, all you know like yeah, I'm picturing someone with like a hot pumpkin spice with like a scarf and it's like 95 degrees out there.
Speaker 1:Know like, yeah, I'm picturing someone with like a hot pumpkin spice with like a scarf, and it's like 95 degrees out there's like yeah, yeah, and they're on their boat barbecue for labor day and they're like, I love it I love when halloween comes in two months? Yeah, totally okay, I love this. I love this idea because this is on the brand, since we've seen some halloween decor. Okay, well, that's our episode, so thank you, brio.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you so much for having me this has been amazing, it was so wonderful to meet you and hear all about your life yes so if we already plugged floyd's, um, if there's anything else you want to promote or not, do you have a favorite place in Andersonville? Do I have a?
Speaker 4:favorite place Everywhere. Everywhere is amazing. In Andersonville, my husband and I just are right now taking care of a 14-year-old little girl who is becoming vegetarian. So there is that vegan Latin place right off of Foster and Clark. I kid you not, I'm a skeptic, I'm a huge carnivore and I was looking my plate clean. So if you are struggling to find somewhere good to eat, that is vegan based Foster and Clark what's it called? I don't know the name. It starts with an L. I believe we gotta go.
Speaker 3:Josh we've seen it my brother's vegan.
Speaker 1:Josh's brother's vegan yeah literally.
Speaker 4:I kid you not, I was looking my plate clean. It was amazing. So shout out to anyone out there who's trying to become a plant based diet. Okay, yeah, shout out to plant based living.
Speaker 1:And if you want to find me, if you want to work with me, if you want to ask questions about the pod, you know, submit topics, anything. You can find me at kkpsychotherapycom and send me an inquiry there.
Speaker 2:And John yes, you can find me at buttsbutzjonathan at gmailcom. Josh.
Speaker 3:You can find me at joshbayerfilms, b-a-y-e-r filmscom. See some of my work. You could ask me to edit something. You could ask to be a guest on the pod, or really anything. Love it.
Speaker 1:And shout be a guest on the pod, yeah, or really anything, love it. And shout out to blanket forts. And shout out to blanket forts for the music and everyone check out his new spectro jammer. There's a new blanket forts, oh ep.
Speaker 3:Now he's cranking out the music. Wow, okay, check it out. This is our ending music for context. Yeah, okay, thanks everyone thanks everybody. Thank you. Yes, take care everyone, bye for us. Yeah, yeah, okay, thanks everyone. Thanks everybody, thank you Thank you Thank you.
Speaker 1:Yes, take care everyone Bye. The Wise Mind Happy Hour podcast is for entertainment purposes only, not to be treated as medical advice. If you are struggling with your mental health, please seek medical attention or counseling.