The Plus One Theory
The Plus One Theory Podcast explores how small, intentional actions can create big, lasting impacts in our personal and professional lives. Each episode features inspiring guests sharing their experiences with kindness, resilience, and the transformative power of doing just one more, The Plus One Theory in action.
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The Plus One Theory
Episode 43: Teenagers, Mud Huts, and the Power of a Purposeful Pause
What if the most powerful change in your life starts with a breath-long pause and a single, small step? We take you from a chaotic church gym to a gritty training village where teenagers haul water, cook over smoky fires, and learn why a clay stove can save a life. The stories are vivid—two days in a simulated slum, cardboard walls shaking under the fists of “slumlords,” kids who miss Taco Bell but gain gratitude—and the insights are practical: perspective is not a lecture; it’s an interruption. That interruption is the purposeful pause.
I open up about losing my first business, stumbling into youth ministry with more heart than credentials, and discovering that teaching while still healing can forge unbreakable bonds. We revisit my childhood hunger and the teachers who stayed silent when I announced I was leaving school. Those were missed pauses that could have changed my path. Today, we name that pattern and flip it: be the pause for someone else, and claim it for yourself when urges or overwhelm hit. The pause is not empty—it’s a tool that restores choice.
You’ll walk away with a clear, humane framework for real progress: pause to notice, then add one plus-one step. Drink water before the craving wins. Send one text you’re avoiding. Take one lap when you want to quit. Make one healthy choice and stack it tomorrow. Progress compounds when you honor small steps and remember you’re not starting over—you’re carrying forward everything you’ve built. If teenagers can return grateful for cafeteria food and clean water, we can leave this moment grateful for the space to choose again. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs a gentle nudge, and leave a review telling us your next “plus one.”
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Hey friends, I'm Pam Dwyer, your host for the Plus One Theory Podcast. This is the place where we talk about finishing stronger than you started, about small intentional steps, and about remembering that your past doesn't define you, it prepares you. Last time I left you with this idea, the purposeful pause. Plus one more. Today I want to tell you a story that shows just how powerful that pause and that one extra step can really be. And yes, it involves teenagers, mud huts, and more smoke than a Texas barbecue. Now let me be honest with you. I became a youth minister the way most people end up with a stray cat. Somebody suggested it, and the next thing I knew, it was in my lap and I was responsible. A friend at church said, You'd be great at it, Pam. You should apply. And suddenly I was sitting in an interview armed with CEO credentials, but no clue how to corral teenagers in a youth group. They hired me anyway, desperation, I'm sure. But I threw myself in with every bit of creativity I had. We hosted candlelit Valentine's dinners in the church gym, complete with youth in their ties and aprons. We brought in retired teachers for homework help. And the tire shop taught kids how to change a flat. And then we also had some bankers in the church, and they took the time to explain how to balance a checkbook, which honestly confused the kids more than algebra. One even asked me, can't we just Venmo Jesus, Miss Pam? I have a lot of other really funny one-liners from my youth ministry days. Now I need to pause here and give you a real backstory. I had just lost my business, my very first one, and it was painful. Very painful. There was a lot of betrayal, some hard, hard lessons, and broken trust. That's another story for another day. But what you need to know is that I was in a season where I felt like my whole life had fallen apart. My faith journey was strong, but I was fresh off the broken truck, so to speak. And suddenly I was in youth ministry teaching lessons I was really learning myself. I lost myself in that beautiful chaos of teenagers. Don't get me wrong, I believe I taught them things they still carry today, all centered around Jesus. My knowledge of Scripture was weak back then, but learning alongside those kids made our bond even stronger. And over time, as I grew and healed, I gained the training and the credentials I needed. So yes, I'm qualified today, but back then I was just a broken woman leaning on Jesus Christ, teaching kids the very lessons I needed to learn myself. And then came my big idea. We went on mission trips, and we would fundraise and raise money to go on these trips. Well, this is the one that topped them all. It was a mission trip to CFAT, which is servants in faith and technology. This wasn't your average youth mission trip. Forget the s'mores, forget dodgeball. This was let's live like we're in a third world village and hope we make it back alive. The youth hauled water from the river and walked miles to get back to camp and learned how to filter it with sand and charcoal. They cooked over smoky fires until they discovered clay stoves that cut the smoke and saved lives. They saw how a simple water pump could spare families miles of walking. And then came the grand finale. Are you ready? Two days in a simulated slum. Building huts, they had to build their homes with cardboard boxes and any wood they could find, bartering for food and working, trying to make enough money to buy water, and trying to survive the night with slum lords banging on their doors. By day two, the youth who normally couldn't survive missing a taco bell run were begging me for food and water. Miss Pam, please, we're starving or we're so thirsty, help us. I just smiled sweetly and thought, welcome to my childhood kids. But here's what stuck with me and with them. That trip wasn't about survival skills. It was about perspective. A pause, one uncomfortable, inconvenient pause in their normal, comfortable lives. And in that pause, they learned something powerful gratitude, awareness, compassion. And it hit me. We need those pauses not just in faraway places, but right in our own backyards. I grew up poor. I remember going to the neighbors' houses and saying, Our mama's baking a cake, and she didn't have enough eggs. Can we borrow two eggs? And then we'd go to the next neighbor's house with a measuring cup and give the same story. We'd say, Our mama's baking a cake and she doesn't have enough milk. Can we borrow a cup of milk? And we'd get the milk. And we'd have something to eat for the day. Now this went on time after time. So it wasn't they weren't suspicious once or twice, but every single day, come on, why didn't anyone stop and say, Sweetheart, are you okay? Do you have food at home? And then there was the day I quit high school. I told my teachers flat out, I'm leaving to run off with a boy to Florida. Do you know what they said? Nothing. There's that silence we've talked about. Not one word. Like, have you thought this through, Pam? You have so much potential. It's going to be hard if you quit, sweetheart. Nope, none of that. It was silence. Missed pauses, missed opportunities to take one small step that could have changed everything for me. And friends, I think we're still missing those pauses. We see a coworker burning out or a neighbor struggling, a teenager that's withdrawing. And instead of pausing and stepping in, we stay quiet, we stay busy, we stay in our lane. But maybe we are the pause someone else needs. That's the heartbeat of the plus one theory. And it's the secret behind delay the binge too. When the urge comes, whether it's food overworking, over pleasing, or just running from discomfort, the pause changes everything. One pause, one breath, one more step and a better direction. And here's the secret. Real progress doesn't come from giant leaps. It's the small intentional steps that add up over time. One more push, one more lap, one more phone call, one more healthy choice. That's the plus one theory. Every step, no matter how small, stacks up and builds the strength, resilience, and results you're looking for. You're not starting over. You're carrying forward everything you've already built. And that's why I call it the purposeful pause. Plus one more. So the next time life feels hard or hunger shows up, the kind in your stomach or the kind in your soul, remember this. The pause isn't empty, it's powerful. It's where transformation starts. If a group of teenagers can walk away grateful for clean water and cafeteria food, maybe you and I can walk away grateful for the pause. And strong enough to take that plus one more. Thanks for spending this time with me today on the Plus One Theory Podcast. Remember, your past doesn't define you, it prepares you. And no matter where you are on the climb, you don't have to start over. You can begin right where you left off and finish stronger. And when the hard moments come, and they will, remember this. Pause. Then take one more step because there's always room for a little more. That's the heart of the plus one theory. I'll see you next time. Thanks for listening.
