Why You’re Always Tired (It’s Not Discipline) | Lauren Callahan | The Return Series

You’re doing everything right.

Eating better. Trying to stay consistent. Pushing through.

And you’re still exhausted.

In this episode, Pam Dwyer sits down with integrative wellness consultant Lauren Callahan to explore the real reason so many high-achieving women feel tired, foggy, and unable to follow through.

It’s not a discipline problem.

It’s a capacity problem. 

This conversation is part of The Becoming Series: The Return, where awareness becomes application.

Lauren shares how improving gut health and prioritizing a “fiber first” approach can dramatically improve energy, mood, and clarity—without restriction or burnout.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

•  Why you feel exhausted even when “everything is normal” 
•  The difference between burnout and quiet depletion 
•  How gut health impacts energy, mood, and hormones 
•  Why most women are focusing on the wrong nutrients 
•  A simple starting point to improve energy today 
•  How to stop the cycle of pushing through exhaustion 

LINKS

Genius Link: https://geni.us/dtb-lauren-callahan

Lauren Callahan:
 https://www.laurenbcallahan.com

Instagram:
 https://www.instagram.com/laurenbcallahan

Facebook:
 https://www.facebook.com/LaurenCallahan

Newsletter (Inside the Pause):
 https://newsletter.delaythebinge.com

Transcript

When Discipline Isn’t The Problem

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You ever noticed how you can know exactly what you should be doing. Eat better, move your body, take care of yourself, and still not do it. Not because you don't care, but because you're tired, foggy, overwhelmed, and honestly, it just feels like too much. So you push through, you grab the caffeine, you tell yourself you'll start tomorrow. But what if the problem isn't discipline? What if it's how you feel? Today we're talking about how to get your energy, your clarity, and your ability to follow through back online. Welcome back to the Delay the Bench Podcast. I'm Pam Dwyer, and I help people pause long enough to break unhealthy patterns when it looks like you are holding it all together, but feel quietly depleted underneath. And today's conversation is going to connect so many dots. Today I'm joined by Lauren Callahan. Lauren is an integrative wellness consultant and high-performance athlete who helps women increase their capacity to handle the demands of their lives without burning out. Through her fiber first approach, she focuses on strengthening the body at a foundational level, supporting energy, hormones, and long-term vitality in a way that's sustainable. And what I love about Lauren's story is that she didn't scale back her life to feel better. She built a body that could support it. Lauren, welcome. I'm so glad you're here.

Meet Lauren And Her Big Goals

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Thank you, Pam. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

Oh, I'm so, so excited. So before we dive into fiber first and the deeper wellness piece, I'd love to just start with you. And our listeners love to hear what are you most focused on right now in your work, your training in your life?

SPEAKER_01 1:55

So uh as far as training goes, I am focused on finishing a 200-mile ultra marathon. That is the next big goal for me. And I've tried it once and I made it to mile 140. Uh so that is the goal. It's to finish that. Um, as far as uh family life goes, if I have a focus there, my daughter is about to graduate high school. Um so really uh navigating that transition, right? Um and then my son is uh this is his first year in high school. So uh this is the first year where everyone has been in high school or beyond. I have um I have another, I have a stepdaughter who's in ninth grade. I have some other step kids who are graduated. So really kind of stepping into a new phase of life as far as the role that I play, I suppose, in my in my kids' life. And then business-wise, um maybe expanding in a few different directions. I'm really excited to start offering workshops and keynotes alongside of my nutrition consulting. So those are the big areas of focus right now.

unknown 3:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Yeah, a lot of firsts for you. We're starting our becoming series in May, and it it sounds so familiar. But I love that because when you live this from so many angles as an athlete, a mother, a business owner, a student, and consultant, I mean, when women come to you, especially high-achieving women who are doing a lot and trying to hold it all together, what are they usually feeling

The Real Complaint: Constant Fatigue

SPEAKER_00 3:37

day to day? What does it look like?

SPEAKER_01 3:39

So the number one thing that I hear is I'm just so tired. I'm just so tired. And originally when I stepped out into the coaching world, I had thought that I was gonna do more like run training, run coaching. And then with all of the women athletes that I talked to, they just all said the same thing. I'm so tired. I'm just so tired. I'm not motivated because I'm so tired. Um, and then as I begin talking to other women and just high achieving in different spaces, that was the thing. I have tried everything. I've gone to the doctor, they tell me everything is normal and everything is not normal, and I'm tired. That is what I feel hands down they are experiencing. And again, I mean, I listening to your intro, I I yeah, I just want to highlight that so many women, it's it's not a discipline issue. They have just been they're trying all the things, they really are. But unfortunately, they are running into a lot of what I would say is very harmful misinformation that is leading them down a path that is making it worse. And I know because I was on it, and every one of my clients has been on this path because it's quote unquote common wisdom and common knowledge, and we're being told the same messages by our doctors and social media influencers that are very well respected. And I'm here to say a lot of it is wrong. A few sew boxes there, because as women, it's not helping us. And we end uh women end up thinking that they have this discipline issue when that is not it.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Oh man, that's so interesting because what you're describing, that feeling of you know, being off or tired or pushing through and the and then and the low energy, we talk about that here as quiet depletion. And it's not burnout all at once. It's it's that slow drain that happens. And I've been through the same journey with doctor after doctor telling me nothing's wrong, your labs look great. And I just kept telling them, I'm so exhausted. Why then am I so tired? Well, perhaps you should seek some mental help.

SPEAKER_01 5:56

That's what they would. Oh my God. Yes, yes. And here's the number. I wonder if the the second thing you heard after that was you need to eat more protein. No, no, okay.

SPEAKER_00 6:08

They just wanted to get rid of me because they didn't know what the heck was wrong with me.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Right. It's it's usually it's one of those two, get mental health, uh help, mental health help, um, eat more protein.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Yeah, and and they think we need to eat that protein like men do. You know, I I just recently learned that you know, we must eat that like what the first after the first 30 minutes of waking up. Is that is that true? Is that what you know? It's helpful. Yeah, it is helpful to have protein.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

It helps to set your metabolism for the rest of the day. However, what I would say, and and I don't disagree with the fact that we need protein.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

What I strongly disagree with is first of all, um, women are taught to obsess over protein over and above other very important nutrients, such as fiber, which is uh my big thing with fiber first, one of them. Um but the fact is 97% of Americans in general get enough protein. 97% of Americans don't even get half of the amount of fiber that they need. And it and it's strongly affecting their gut health, hormones, energy, all the things. But my my other thing with the protein um uh uh issue here, like yeah, we getting protein when you wake up soon after. Yeah, that's very important. It does help set your metabolism. But what's happening is that women are are are taught this is just number one. I mean, energy, um, you know, any sort of issue that you're having. Well, are you getting enough protein? Okay, it's important, but what they're going and doing the research and saying, okay, well, how much protein do I need? Okay, probably about 30 grams a meal. That's really hard to do. Okay, let me get a protein shake. And the protein shake is is almost every one of my clients has been on a protein shake. And what we what they're unaware of is that the protein shake actually creates a very terrible cycle of disrupting your gut and draining your energy and even making it near impossible for you to feel happy. Like it affects your happy hormones, it depletes them. And so I can go and why we're all grumpy? What's that? Is that why we're all grumpy? Exactly, exactly. I think we are creating a generation of women that are crabby and tired. Because we all but we're gonna get our protein shakes. But but I would think that is truly something that is perpetuating the issue.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Wow. Wow. Gosh, dude, you're just talking my language. Where were you 10 years ago? That's what I want to know.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Right. I I needed myself 10 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 8:48

Speaking of, you mentioned um, or maybe I read it when I was, you know, researching you, but you mentioned that this shift

Protein Obsession And The Shake Trap

SPEAKER_00 8:56

started for you when you were trying to improve your athletic performance. And I was just wondering if you could take us back to that moment or that story.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Sure. So I actually used to be a therapist, so very much in the mental health space. Um, at the at the same time that I was working as a therapist, I was trying to run a marathon. So for whatever reason, this was very, very important to me. And I couldn't do it. And I tried for four years to run a marathon, and I failed every attempt. And I and I do appreciate all the lovely souls who are like, Well, you didn't really fail because you tried, and I appreciate that, but I didn't finish. So I thought like a failure. So I tried all the things, you know, just like you said. Like I went to the doctor, I went to the physical therapist, everybody's like, Well, you probably shouldn't run. And I said, Well, that doesn't work for me. And so I tried all the things, and then I I hear about gut health, how your gut is like your second brain. I go down this rabbit hole of gut health. And in about six months' time, um, because I'm obsessive, right? Like, I find out that my my gut health is actually really terrible, which surprised me because I ate very healthy. So theoretically, if you eat healthy, you should be healthy. That is not the case. So I was eating healthy, but my gut was not healthy and was not able to receive the good food that I was giving it. So I go down this rabbit hole of for over the next six months of improving my gut health. And what happens is that I finally go out and run my first marathon. I did it. The inflammation, the repetitive injury, the recovery issues, they didn't have them anymore. So after four years of trying, I finally go out and run my first marathon. And not only that, I run my first 50 mile ultra, I do my first Iron Man, I do another 50 mile ultra, another Iron Man, and then a 100K, which is 62 miles, and I did that all within one year's time. So to say that improving my gut health massively improved my energy and helped with recovery and inflammation issues is an understatement. But actually, that that was really cool. But actually, the thing that really surprised me was right at the beginning, I learned that one of your gut metabolites is serotonin. We know serotonin as a neurotransmitter, responsible for your mood, your ability to feel happy, right? Or largely responsible. But serotonin is also a gut metabolite. And in fact, 90% of your body's serotonin is produced in your gut. And so when I looked at my original gut health test results and I could see my serotonin, it was so low. Like it was really bad. And I thought, oh my God, I'm a therapist. Like, what in the world? And so, you know, my first reaction was like, oh my God, I've never wanted to be on medication, but maybe I need to get on an antidepressant. And I learned very quickly, no, that was actually not the answer. And it could actually make things worse for your gut because serotonin has another role. It helps initiate digestion. It breaks down into melatonin and helps you sleep. So I went on this, you know, like I said, this rabbit hole of improving my gut health. And so the athletic stuff was cool, but really the thing that was most meaningful to me was how in the process I was saying, wow, yes, I have a ton more energy. But I would also say, wow, I am not bloated and you know, yikes, like that whole scenario. And also, I'm sleeping, and I didn't even realize it was an issue. Like I hadn't really realized it'd become my new norm to not fall asleep that night. And now I'm gonna just hit the pillow, sleep like a baby. And the whole time I had thought, oh my God, I just have anxiety, I just have depression, I just need more therapy. I mean, I'm a believer in therapy, like it's really great. But I thought that that was the issue. I just need to work on myself and work on my anxiety. No, I just needed to improve my gut health. And wow, it made things so much simpler. So that was the huge shift for me.

SPEAKER_00 13:17

Well, what I find so powerful about that is you were you were looking for one thing, you know, and it it changed everything.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

So I want to go a little deeper for the listeners. So what shifted first for you? Was it energy, mood, clarity? I mean, was there an order? I mean, what did you notice at first?

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Yeah, I would say um, you know, it really was one of those okay, I'll I'll put it this way. When I got my gut health test results, I basically got an F. Okay. If you could put a grade to it as an F. So I don't even know that I was looking for a certain result other than we are getting that grade up. So I that really, I mean, I'm I'm yeah, that's me. So I was really just looking for the numbers to go up. And then it was just along the way, those moments of, oh, oh, wait a minute. And I think the first thing probably was the gastrointestinal health and not feeling bloaty and gassy. That was probably the first thing that I said, wow, okay, that's different. Again, I didn't know that, like I didn't know it was a problem. I thought it just a woman,

Gut Health Unlocks Performance And Mood

SPEAKER_01 14:20

and that's just how it is, right? Like you get around your period and that's just how no, no, I found out it wasn't. And then I think the sleep was next. Sleep and anxiety, we wrap, I would wrap that into one because when I would try to fall asleep is when I felt the anxiety the most and just thought this was a you know mental health issue, basically. And no, I mean, I'm not saying that there was no mental health work to be done, but it wasn't more therapy. It was just improving my gut. And so the anxiety calmed. I was producing naturally the melatonin that my body is capable of producing, and I was just falling asleep. So that was probably the next thing. Um, and then certainly uh six months later, running that marathon was the moment where I said, Oh, yeah, okay, actually this really helped with energy and inflammation. And all of that was I mean, it was gut health, and the primary thing I did was putting fiber first.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

Oh my gosh, such a simple answer. And and you'd think that doctors would know this and see the signs. And I think I think they're getting better as we get more female doctors. Nothing against you guys, but y'all just don't know about our bodies.

SPEAKER_01 15:34

But you know, I remember talking with a friend who is a cardiologist, and this blew me away. So he um had achieved his goal of running a half marathon. Well, then he bumped it up to running a marathon. That was his goal, but by this point he has done it. But when I was talking with him, he said, Lauren, training for a marathon is so different. And I said, Yeah, it is. He said, I mean, recovery, making sure you have enough sleep. It's all different. And I said, Yes, definitely. And he said, and the nutrition is different. I said, Yeah, it's very different. And he said, Lauren, I am a cardiologist and I don't know anything about nutrition. He said, We didn't learn about it in school. So he had to, when it became important to him, when he realized the importance of it, he began to study it on his own, but it was not something he had to learn in school.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

And those are the doctors I seek out, are the ones that have gone up above and beyond to find out more, you know, about nutritional needs. Because look how many tools are out there right now for weight loss. There's those the GLP ones, there's uh weight loss surgeries, there's all kinds of things, but people are looking for to fix what's broken. And they don't understand that no matter what tool they use, it's not going to do that for them. That's where I want to pause here for a second because I think I think this is where people get stuck. We know what we should do, as I mentioned before, and we know we should eat better, move our bodies, take care of ourselves, but and we still don't do it. And I don't think that it's like a discipline problem at all. It's a capacity problem. Because when you you don't feel clear, when you're exhausted, foggy, overwhelmed, it's really hard to choose well in those moments. Maintenance is real important to me because I've never been taught maintenance. So even if you're 300 pounds, you know, I feel strongly that you need to learn how to maintain that so you can overcome all the unhealthy habits. And then then you can, you know, reduce calorie intake or or add more extra whatever you need to do to start losing in a healthy way. But I just don't think even athletes, I bet as a runner, there's lots of things you do before the marathon, I'm

Motivation Comes After Action

SPEAKER_00 17:56

sure. Like over and above what you normally do. But how do you maintain that until the next marathon? Is that hard to do, or do you change your diet?

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Yeah, I would say um depending on the amount of training that I'm in. Um, yeah, for sure, you you need more food during higher loads of training. And and so it is an adjustment for sure. Um, you know, I did my 200-mile attempt in March. So certainly going up to that time, I just had to eat so much food, right, to keep up with the energy expenditure. Um, and you kind of get used to eating that way. And so after the race, um certainly your body needs fuel to recover from that, but it it's just not the same, right? And so you can get kind of used to eating the same way that you did before, and then you have that moment where you think, well, wait, actually, I don't really like I don't need that much. So yeah, it is a um and it has to be fluid. It has to be fluid.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

And I'm so excited to get into the gut health piece um because we talk a lot about that, and our listeners, anytime they they reach out, it's always about nutrition, nutritional needs of the gut. But what I love about what you're doing right now is that you're helping women feel better first so they can actually take action from that place. And once action takes place, then the motivation happens. A lot of people think motivation happens before the action in order to do it. What are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yeah, I I think you're right. Um, action creates motivation. Yes. Um so yeah, there are certainly days, for example, like I, you know, I'll do my workouts in the morning. There's certainly days that I'm completely not motivated, but I kind of have a personal policy, just give it 10 minutes. Um, and once you have started moving for 10 minutes, your body does a lot of things within that 10 minutes. You know, we call it a warm-up, but there's like biologically so much happening in that warmup. And then one of those things is just that you produce um natural motivating chemicals within yourself, right? So you make your own motivation just by moving. So yes, um, even before you feel it, um, yeah, and and that can I I can understand how that can come across, like, you know, just stay committed, right? And stay disciplined. I would see it as an act of grace. Like, no, you just maybe don't feel like the thing all the time, and that's fine. Just give yourself the grace to get in there for about 10 minutes and you know, really, if you're feeling horrible after 10 minutes, get give your great, give yourself the grace to take a break. It, you know, it's fine, like it's gonna be fine. But normally once you've been in there for 10 minutes, you just normally feel better, right? And you're more willing, more ready and willing to keep on going.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

I look at it as yucky medicine that you have to take that tastes bad, or or you know, get it having a shot. You just just get it over with, just go. You do it anyway.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

And that's not about discipline, that's just about common sense. Just do it. Let's get let's get going.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Yeah, you just create that motivation.

Fiber First For Appetite And Weight

SPEAKER_01 21:13

You know, and and one thing that came across to me when you were talking just now about um the weight loss, you know, one thing I really like to high highlight about fiber first um is that you don't have to think about restricting calories when you were primarily eating fiber, because fiber comes from plants and your body just digests it a lot easier. And also, I would call these foods self limiting foods. So, for example, if you eat a bag of Doritos, um there's there's no self limiting. Like your body will never tell you to stop, right? But if you have an avocado or an apple and some almonds, there is a point where your body will tell you to stop. Like you'll you'll know that you're full and you'll feel a satisfied and you actually will not crave foods afterward like you would with the Doritos. So again, you're um just by prioritizing fiber, right? You are creating just a natural, um, healthy, self-limiting sort of thing that you really don't have to bring in all this self-discipline. Your your body just knows what to do more.

SPEAKER_00 22:24

Right. I think it receives it all too well. So we're gonna try to relate to to fiber first. We're gonna try to relate to it. When you when you made the shift, did you notice a change in in your ability to follow through? I mean continue, you know, to research, to be curious for more clarity. I mean did it start to feel easier as you went along or was it more challenging? It did.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

It it became much more easy because when you start to feel good you begin to connect that more and more. Like when you don't feel good, you you can feel just a real disconnect between like what I eat and how I feel, what I'm doing or not doing and how I feel. But once you start this you know little bit of momentum like the small train toward feeling better um it just becomes something that you don't want to give up. So I remember even before I ever went fiber first, I went um you know I did this experiment where I gave up sugar for three weeks. That was maybe one of the hardest things that I ever did. However, what I can tell you is that I mean I used to be a pastry chef. Okay, let's throw that out there. So I'd like and make some mean like cakes and cookies and pastries. I gave up sugar for the first week that was hard. Yes by the second week I was like eh okay all right this is still really tough. By the third week I was like I don't want that actually like I like oh that cookie looks good. No, I really don't even want it. And so um so yeah and that's you know that's also a different mindset of just like giving up something. So yes but that's kind of an extreme example though where it became something that um there was no discipline around it at all. It was just so self-rewarding. I felt so much better certain feminine issues that I repetitively had like just went away. I was like oh no I'm not going back.

SPEAKER_00 24:26

So it becomes easier yes yes and I think I think um as women but we're taught how to push through deal with it anyway and that's where the quiet depletion starts happening because you are doing all the things you need to do and you look fine on the outside. Or maybe even your doctors are saying your labs look great but you're just quietly depleted you're exhausted. And that's when we start turning to things to behaviors that are unhealthy. It's not just food. We overwork we over please but anything to to push out what we probably really know is going on. But we don't we think it's hard to just incorporate so much fiber into our diet each day. We just don't know how to do it. We were never taught that it's a bit of relearning it it is and that's not really I mean we can't maintain ourselves along the way if we don't get curious as you did down that rabbit hole and figure it out. Do you see that with the women you work with do you see that a lot that that that's their mentality and not you know evaluate about doctors don't even find anything wrong with me. Maybe I am mental what what can I do

Self Love And Support At Home

SPEAKER_00 25:51

about that?

SPEAKER_01 25:51

Yeah so so this might be the former therapist in me but I would say actually when I have worked with women um maybe maybe not every well yeah actually maybe every time I've generally for the most part worked with women in like a three month format and I would say in that first month um you know they're you know very much like nutritionally what do what do I do? How do I get this perfect? And I'm like super compassionate so I always give a little bit of kickback from the beginning. Like I don't want you to make all of the changes you know okay and I say that but I'm the opposite like I I can tell you about how this progressed for me when I eventually became like fiber only upgone only plant based I okay so I did the opposite with myself. I was like we're making this change today but I I don't normally recommend that with anybody else um and so I find sorry back to what we were talking about I'm a little all over the place with that but um generally you know that first month is we are so focused on nutritionally what are the things that we change and tweak and all the things and then by the second month though that's usually the time when we are having the conversations about okay this is not you pushing through and being everything for everybody else let's talk about how you can absolutely put yourself first love yourself first and how that is not a selfish thing. It seems like a completely different topic but it's not like you put yourself first and I know this is talked about a lot I'm not this is not rocket science I'm not saying anything new here but when you put yourself first you are truly able to be more present for the people in your life that you love and want to be present for by putting yourself first. And so that obviously can mean a lot of different things um but yeah if it means asking for help or giving yourself more space but either way it gives you that little bit of space to calm your nervous system and also just logistically to spend more time doing the things that will take care of yourself. Like for example taking an hour on Sunday to prepare some smoothies for yourself that you can have for the rest of the week just a very simple okay this is my time I'm doing this for me as an act of self-love yes yes it it matters a lot and and I know what I struggled with I I read a book about sugar and it was called No Sugar for a year or something.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

I don't remember the author right now but anyway I read the book and she and her entire family and she had young children just what no sugar at all for a full year. Okay. And she talked about how healthier she was her kids were doing better in school and so there's a lot of things going on with the brain when you are eating a lot of sugar or drinking a lot of sugar. And so I said okay me and the family we're gonna do this then. My teenage children did not like it at all. And the and they're like I said there's no sugar in this I said yes but it turns into sugar in your body that's what I would just tell them. Yeah yeah and so they're like well I guess we're just eating grass for dinner then and I said no but that's the adjustment for a lot of women is just getting the support around them everybody to rally around because you need that support you need someone or your family or friends to support you through your decision.

SPEAKER_01 29:30

But it's really hard when they don't yeah you know okay so here's what I'd say to that first of all um yes I I have a lot of compassion for people who are making these shifts especially when they have younger children. I will say that the shifts that I have made um well I I did a lot of it when my kids were younger but I also was more of a stay at home mom. So I had more of a capacity to tend to my nutritional choices but also not radically make changes you know when they weren't totally ready to do that. Okay. So I could kind of maintain yeah I mean I I had a little more time to think about that. Now I don't have all that time but also my kids are teenagers and so yeah I'm I'm just saying like I'm I'm very human. It's a real life like there's no there's no straight answer here. And one thing I recognize is that right now making the changes that I've made especially in the last well about a year ago going to fiber only plant based um my my kids are teenagers. If they don't like what's being made they will they will handle themselves and that's okay. However um you know that doesn't mean that I'm only cooking tofu for dinner and expecting everybody else to do that. That's not true. Like I'm still cooking meat because my husband still eats meat my children do. However what I would say to that is I'm very much a believer in boring is consistent and consistent is convenient. So I have a very um you know I may not eat the same things every day but I mostly eat out of the same what I call like framework every day. So for example for dinner it is almost always going to be a whole grain a roasted vegetable and a protein so I'll make myself tofu and my husband meat or the other way around because he cooks too he'll make his meat he'll make me tofu. But almost every night that's what it looks like. And then on the nights where you do have a little more time or creativity or you prep then you find a recipe and get creative and do something different. But I am very okay with boring because it's consistent and that is convenient and at this point in my life I need some convenience.

SPEAKER_00 31:47

Oh I am so with you on that my kids are grown and gone and my youngest is 30 believe it or not she told me just recently this makes a really good point for what you just talked about and I I've always had health issues and she's starting to have some of this have similar it's mostly with her menstrual cycle and stuff. And I remember mom that you changed your diet you changed what you started eating and and we hated the food. I said it was I said that's the year we were trying with no sugar. She goes yeah so I remember you doing that. So when our kids are teenagers or whatever age they are they're watching us they're learning from us. So even if they don't do it they're gonna remember that we tried this and it worked.

SPEAKER_01 32:34

Yeah absolutely yeah and I would say you know it's it's interesting how um you know we do I mean we do so much healthy stuff in our home but they just still have these outside influences right so even if I truly did like 100% control you know what they ate in our home which I don't I mean I don't go out and buy junk food but I mean you just you know if you got a family you know how it is right do what they gotta do. Yeah but they just you know they have outside influences right there people everywhere pushing chips and candy on them you know and I so like you said we can we can set the example this is how it is in our home and they'll take that with them. They will and yeah they'll make their own choices and that's how it should be but they'll take it they'll take your legacy with them your influence and maybe even learn their own mistakes.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

I remember my son telling me when he was at he was getting ready to go off to college and I said blah blah blah blah blah and he's like mom quit telling me what to do I said well son I just I just don't want you to make the same mistakes I made and he's like well mom they're my mistakes to make night drop yeah I just did there looking at him I didn't know what to say okay you're right yeah so maybe with food too but we we can only hope that they observed what we had to do and and that brings up the other thing is I had a guest once and I was talking about the pause and she just made such a valid point. She goes Pam my program I want to get people I want to take a proactive approach so they don't hit the wall. I don't want them to hit the wall. I don't want them to have to pause before you know engaging in some unhealthy habit. She goes before it becomes a bad habit, why don't we educate ourselves and teach ourselves how to avoid hitting the wall you know preventative. And that's what I see you know a lot of in in what you do you know you're you're helping them stay supported before they get to that point.

SPEAKER_01 34:39

Yeah you saying that actually makes me think of my very first uh nutrition consulting client that I ever had I was just trying it out with her and sorry as you have a cat who wants to be seen right now.

Fuel More To Avoid The 3 PM Crash

SPEAKER_01 34:51

So um yeah but my very first client you know that's one of the things she told me is that she's I hit a wall every day at three o'clock. I mean it's miserable and it's not just her like it was me. I mean how like how many women out there say I don't ever hit a wall at three in the afternoon or whatever it is, right? Yeah. Um and you know what I did with her you know she also had a goal of of losing that last 10 to 15 pounds. And again I find that's very common too that's often not like the reason that people come to work with me but it's the and also right like I that's where I'm at. Yeah yeah okay yeah yeah like I've got this thing the doctor says I'm fine energy like all things and also I'd like to lose that last 10 to 15 pounds right yeah so with her um you know one of the things I I tested her gut health and one of the things that we saw was she just was not getting enough nutrients in general right and I talked to her about what she was eating and I was like you need to eat more food and she said Lauren but I'm trying to lose weight I was like well okay but you're and and I'm also you know I if I had known what I if I had known then what I know now like I wouldn't have been concerned at all about that like this is not going to be an issue but then I was like oh I don't know is this gonna work you know but I said okay I understand your goal but also you're not getting the nutrients that your gut needs and it's affecting your you know your health and energy and all the things she said okay well I do want my energy back and I want to be healthier so so we talked about little ways to add more food and I kid you not she she's eating more food two weeks later she goes Lauren I can't believe it I've lost a couple pounds and I'm eating more food yes and I've seen that over and over again I have another you know I had another lady too she um she actually set similar goals she did not lose weight she actually put on a few pounds and it freaked her out right I said first of all you need to put away the scale and she that freaked her out too but then I said how do you how do you feel she said I feel so good and I said how do your clothes fit she said oh wait actually they fit better so the scale is telling her that she's gaining a couple pounds but actually her pants fit better her whole body like she feels better in her body and she knows that the body composition is actually changing the way that she wants it to go throw out those scales moral of that story.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

Not really and and not weighing I I love that I listened to this podcast and she is very similar to you but she most of her clients and she she broadcasts it as a live episode but when she gets a new uh client to coach or to lose weight and she always adds calories to their to their daily intake like she has them monitor it she goes okay and you you get eighteen hundred calories a day I want you to go up to twenty one hundred and they just freak out. They're like no but they're at a standstill. So she said the only way we can do is see you know how many calories it takes for you to actually put on weight. Then we can go in and and modify it. So yeah we would women panic with weight and and there should be a five pound difference. I give myself a five pound window because I know at certain times of the month I'm gonna weigh more.

SPEAKER_01 38:20

Yeah exactly exactly and you know kind of I guess bringing it full circle you know that proactive approach I mean yes like it it helped her to lose weight but um you know we were being proactive and helping her also not hit that wall and that was the other thing that she came back and told me she says I don't hit that three o'clock wall anymore and when I get home at night she said normally I would be pulling out like the cereal box right because she's just stressed and tired by the end of the day yes she said I don't do that anymore. So we were just proactively um by fueling her, focusing on the gut health you know fiber first, um proactively helping her to not get to that place where she's got to make these awful decisions and bring in the self-discipline and hit that wall and she never got there.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

See that's where I see so much alignment with what we talk about here because the pause isn't just something you use when things go wrong it's how you stay connected to yourself and it it's how you catch things earlier. So do you think that's part of it too like that when someone feels better physically they're more aware more present and can actually notice what's going on to be proactive.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

Yeah absolutely and I'm I'm kind of thinking I was just talking with a friend about um

Tired Brains Crave Sugar Fast

SPEAKER_01 39:45

you know how I how I start my day right so I start my day the very first thing that I do when I get up is I I drink a peptide drink and I stretch. So I do not start my day out without stretching it just I just feel so much better. It's like immediate mental clarity immediate like emotional calm and energy at the same time I'll I'll do my workout I'll I'll run or go lift and then before I start any of my work I make sure to take a pause for meditation and whereas before if I got too busy I would have to you know throw that pause out of the window that proactive pause I would have to no I'm just too busy today. I like I I started saying this is really important I really need to do this and the more I did it I realized I can't do my day without it like I think so much more clearly I'm a better human being. Okay if I take that proactive pause and you know bringing it back to uh nutrition and fiber first it's the same it's the same thing you are proactively showing love to your future self you are proactively by eating fiber first by eating um you know taking in that good nutrition now it's like taking a pause for your future self I love that you said that that's such a beautiful connection but the pause also it just it just allows you to bring that frontal cortex back online and make a better choice you know better choices for yourself and then then you're not doing things that make you feel like a failure like you failed you know yeah you know I I'm thinking of a a funny moment I had um a couple years ago so I'm an ultra endurance runner but my husband is as well and he was doing a race and one thing about these ultra endurance races especially once you get to you know 100 mile distances is that you don't sleep at night right like you go the whole way and if you're running you don't sleep at night but also if you're the one crewing if you're supporting somebody you don't sleep at night either and so I was crewing my husband and I remember taking a trip back to the hotel room and um and picking up a jar of peanut butter and this is like my all natural you know just peanuts and oil, you know, peans and salt that sort of thing. But on the lid there was a recipe for some kind of like peanut butter butterscotch cookie you know chow whatever and I was so tired from not sleeping because of this race that you know this was at the point of like I don't I don't you know especially then I was I think recently off of that like total no sugar thing for a little bit like I didn't even want it right but I looked at that recipe and I was like oh my God so good. And I paused and I said wow I'm really tired because I don't normally I wouldn't otherwise normally look at this recipe and want it that much but I am so tired and that's why I'm looking at this recipe and wanting it. And that was kind of a mind blowing moment. I'm always telling people yeah when you're tired you crave sugar when you're tired you crave sugar and then I I mean I experienced it I'm tired I'm really craving this sugar.

SPEAKER_00 43:04

Well and it's the lower brain right the lower brain chatter is trying to protect you that's its job but it's short term and it's usually not a healthy option. It's just saying you're exhausted your body's depleted you know you you need this sugar that's going to give you a enough energy so that you can get through the next thing. But if you pause you'll bring that frontal cortex that the CEO back online and start talking sense into you. I'm just tired.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

Normally I wouldn't put this and you know that I mean that's such a good point because it it's an emergency situation when you're saying like it's a lower brain right to like it's an emergency situation in a sense because it's like oh my God you're tired let's like get you some energy because you need it. And you know that is um what I what I feel like is is missing around women's nutrition you know we're we're generally pushed toward you know higher protein and these and the and these protein shakes and again protein Is good. Like we need our protein, but you need your protein from fiber first sources. Okay. So things like nuts and seeds, and then beans and legumes, and also uh, you know, soy and tofu. Not a not a ton of fiber in there, but those are just very um, you know, they're plant-based sources of protein, they're so good for you. So we so we need our protein, but we're being pushed toward this high protein, low carb. So we're not giving our body its preferred fuel source, and you are putting your body in an emergency situation. And so you just described, Pam, what your body does in an emergency situation. It's like grab that sugar or you know, do whatever, right? Like that is not meant for you. So, you know, women are getting pushed into this emergency situation.

Plant Based Shift For Inflammation

SPEAKER_01 44:47

And so, yes, you're feeling tired. Yes, you're feeling depleted. Um, and you're being taught that this is how you should do it, and it's not, it's hurting you in the long run.

SPEAKER_00 44:58

And and quite frankly, we've all been brainwashed, you know. We know to have three things on our plate: a meat, a vegetable, and a carb. Yeah. And I don't know about your your generation, but mine, that's what we were taught. That's how you fill a plate. And I don't know, if if you don't eat meat, there are, it sounds like there are a lot of alternatives. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 45:22

Yeah, absolutely. Um, you can absolutely get all of your protein strictly from plants. Again, those beans, legumes, even whole grains. Whole grains have protein in them as well. Um, nuts and seeds, think like chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, walnuts, almonds, those kinds of things. Um, also, I'm, you know, I uh I'm huge into tofu and soy milk. Those are complete proteins. I don't think anybody needs to get caught up on the whole complete protein thing. Um because you'll you'll as long as you have varied sources throughout the days, you'll get all the amino acids that you need. Um, but yeah, and when you are doing fiber first and especially fiber only, right, where you're only getting it your protein from plant-based sources, you actually can eat more, like a lot more. And so good because I like to eat more. Yeah, exactly. Here we are, but full circle back to like not restricting and how it's not about discipline. You know, this was actually the biggest shift for me. Excuse me. I, you know, I um in working with clients have always been the person stop restricting, don't do anything restrictive, like just eat the food, eat more food. And so when I would hear about plant-based diets, um, I would, you know, just say I would write it off. No, that's too restrictive. But then I came to a place, even after I had improved my gut health and really done this fiber first, I had upped my training so much. Some might call that overtraining, but I wouldn't. A lot of training. And also I'm getting into my 40s, so we know there are some changes happening. And then all of a sudden, the inflammation and cortisol was out of control in my body. It was the worst. It was the top, it was of the top worst three that I'd ever seen in with my clients. Wow. Like I was number three. Okay. It was so bad. And so I'm rethinking my life. I'm like, oh my God, I'm helping people with their gut health, and mine is horrible. Um exactly. And that was me. And so I decided I I have to make a change. I like I I'm just gonna try this thing. I I'd come across a plant-based ultra-endurance athlete, and it was working for him really well. I was like, okay, I'm gonna give it a try. I don't I don't care if I have to eat nothing but cucumbers for the rest of my life. If you tell me I'm gonna feel better, I'm gonna do it. And so I decided to give it three weeks. And really, um, you know, after after two weeks, I felt different. After four weeks, I felt like myself again. It was it was the most amazing feeling. And after six weeks, though, I felt better than myself. I remember thinking to myself, I feel immortal. I can do anything. But actually, within that first two weeks, the most surprising thing for me was to realize, kind of bringing this back to what we were talking about, that it was not restrictive. I could eat so much. I had to relearn a little bit how to eat, but there was nothing restrictive about it. I could eat so much food. I could eat so much food. Because you just digest it better. You're it's it's just easier, excuse me, on your gut. And so you just process it faster so you can get more. Um, again, fiber tells you when you're full, so you don't have to have all this discipline to just tell yourself when to stop. It it's it's you're making it easier on yourself.

SPEAKER_00 48:39

And all the ingredients you listed, I love all of them, and most people do. We love legumes and we love nuts and seeds. And I mean, most people most people do. Some people can't, they're allergic or something like that. I don't know what you would do for them, but for someone that's listening right now who feels really tired all the time, foggy, their doctors don't know what the heck's wrong with them. And so, what's one simple step they could take today?

One Simple Step: Fiber At Breakfast

SPEAKER_01 49:07

I would say pick one meal and look at how you can add more fiber in. So I often encourage people to start with breakfast because breakfast, I mean, it's age-old wisdom, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and it's just true. So um, start with breakfast, get rid of this whole intermittent fasting thing if you're a woman in particular. Okay. That is dude logic and dude science. It just is for women, don't do it. Dude logic. I love that. So forget that whole intermittent fasting thing. Um, get up in the morning, eat breakfast, okay, and and find a way to add more fiber. So, for example, you can add more berries, um, strawberries, blackberries, uh, raspberries. They're high in fiber. They're also high in polyphenols and antioxidants, so those are very healing to your gut as well. Um, or you might consider adding whole grains. Uh, so I'm a big um overnight oat fan. For the people who have issues with oat texture, before you write it off, you need to try overnight steel-cut oats. They never get mushy. It's almost like eating, um, it's like not quite crunchy anymore, but almost. So if you're like the oh, I hate mushy oatmeal person, try steel-cut oats overnight and put some nuts in there, like put some almonds or walnuts or pecines. Oh as long as you don't have an allergy, put soy milk in it. And the reason I say soy, um, because of plant-based milks, most of them do not have protein, but soy milk pretty much has an equivalent amount of protein to like cup for cup for regular milk. Um, so they're right there, maybe some overnight oats with nuts and seeds and soy milk, um, and or add berries to your breakfast. That is a fantastic place to start. And that's one meal that you can focus on this week, adding more fiber.

SPEAKER_00 51:03

Wow. This is powerful. This message of yours is powerful. It could, it's going to help a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 51:11

And so I just say I hope so. I know that it, I know that it will. I know that those who are taking it in and implementing it, um, I know that, I mean, I'm 100% confident it will help them in the same way that it helped me.

SPEAKER_00 51:26

Well, and you're seeing results over and over again. So let's let's tell everyone how to find you because I know there are women listening right now thinking, I need more of this. So where's the best place for them to connect with you and follow your work?

Where To Find Lauren And Next Steps

SPEAKER_01 51:43

Great. So on social media, uh on Instagram, I am Lauren B. Callahan. That's B is Embriana, that's my middle name. So Lauren B. Callahan. On Facebook, it's just Lauren Callahan. Uh, and my website is Lauren B. Callahan.com. So nice and easy to remember there. Um, and if you check out my website, the biggest things that you're gonna see are that you can do nutrition consulting with me. Um, and also I give keynotes and workshops. So if you're in maybe a corporate environment, I can come to your place and offer uh a keynote or a workshop there.

SPEAKER_00 52:18

Oh my goodness. And I'll be sure and put all of that in the show notes, everybody. So don't worry if you didn't jot it down.

Closing Message And Newsletter Invite

SPEAKER_00 52:27

What I love about this conversation is this isn't about doing more. It's about supporting yourself in a way that actually gives you more. Because at the end of the day, it's not that you don't know what to do. It's that you don't feel well enough to do it. You're exhausted. And when you start to feel better, you choose better. Not because you forced it, but because it finally feels possible.

SPEAKER_01 52:56

Yeah. And, you know, I love that um you just said that how it's not about doing more. Uh you're absolutely correct. And what I found is that um women, once they make these transitions, like putting fiber first, they actually want to do more and have the capacity to do more. So whereas, you know, this is um remember, I used to be a therapist, right? So my therapist lens was well, let's cut back, let's make life simpler. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing. We could all stand to like cut back and make life simpler. But then I became the person who was like, well, actually, I want to do this thing and I want to do that thing, and I'm still a mom, and like I want to do, and so once I was, once I made these changes though, I found that I was no longer having that conversation with myself for the most part, um, about what I need to cut back and cut down. I was actually able to do more. And it and again, my little disclaimer there is yes, I do regularly kind of audit my life and say, okay, is that necessary? Probably not. I could do without that. That's more of like a clearing out. But all that to say, when you're right, this is not about, you know, adding more. And it's also not about having to restrict yourself or your life. You can actually expand your capacity to do more if you want to do more and still feel calmer in the process.

SPEAKER_00 54:26

Yeah, just feeling strong, mentally and physically strong, because quite frankly, there's no one else that's going to do what's on our to-do list. Our our boxes that we're checking off is something we feel as women that only we can do. It won't get done. And so we're just feeling terrible, exhausted, and still trying to get it all done. So if we could feel good doing it, then we might even be able to add some more because a lot of us are 120% type people. Yeah, yeah. You are definitely. I would agree with that. This marathon, gosh, I just try to even imagine five miles. Golly. But that's I'm just admire that so much. Okay, everybody. Uh unfortunately we have to let her go. But if this conversation resonated with you, I want to invite you to go deeper because real change doesn't happen from hearing something once. It happens through repeat awareness and small shifts over time. That's why everything I share each week is intentionally connected. So, like on Tuesdays, I have a personal story that I write every Tuesday that reflects on the emotional side of this message. And then on Wednesdays, inside the pause, with it gives you early access to these episodes and deeper reflections. And then finally, Thursday, behind the mic, this is where we highlight conversations like this and feature the incredible guests who share their work here. Each one builds on the other because that's how new habits are formed through repetition, reinforcement, and returning to the message again and again. And the more you practice the pause, the more you create momentum for becoming the best version of yourself. If you want to be part of that, you can sign up at newsletter.delaythebinge.com. And you can always explore more from our guests and conversations at TPKconcepts.com. You'll find everything in the show notes, Joe. Thank you so much, Lauren. Thank you. I know our listeners learned a lot today, and I did too. So everybody forward this to someone you know that could use this message in their life, which is probably all of us. So keep showing up, stay curious, and remember you don't have to fix everything. You just have to pause long enough to choose what actually serves you. I'll see y'all next week.