The Hidden Cost of Blending In | Wendy Kim

What happens when you spend years blending in instead of fully being yourself?

In this powerful episode of the Delay the Binge™ Podcast, Pam Dwyer sits down with keynote speaker, leadership coach, and bestselling author Wendy Kim for a deeply honest conversation about intuition, self-trust, identity, and the hidden emotional cost of staying quiet in rooms that were never built for you.

Wendy shares her journey from working in the male-dominated tech and gaming industry, where she learned it felt safer to silence her voice, to building a successful coaching and speaking career helping others follow what she calls “the pull.”

Together, Pam and Wendy explore:

• Why women learn to shrink themselves early in life
 • The emotional exhaustion of constantly blending in
 • How fear and overthinking disconnect us from intuition
 • Why small “micro moments” matter more than giant life changes
 • How to recognize the next right step
 • The connection between burnout, people pleasing, and losing your voice
 • How to stop overriding what your gut already knows

This conversation is a powerful reminder that the voice you’ve been holding back never actually disappeared.

It’s still there.

🔗 CONNECT WITH WENDY KIM

Website: https://www.beyondblendingin.com/

 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/beyondblendingin/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-kim/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beyondblendingin

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/Wendy-Kim/e/B07FZ8LDLC?ref=dbs_p_ebk_r00_abau_000000

Transcript

The Cost Of Staying Quiet

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Have you ever held back in a room? Not because you didn't have something to say, but because it felt safer to stay quiet. In today's conversation, you'll learn how to recognize that voice underneath it, what gets in the way of trusting it, and what it actually looks like to follow it, when it really matters. Welcome back to the Delay the Bench Podcast. I'm Pam Dwyer, and I help people pause long enough to break unhealthy patterns, especially the ones that look like success on the outside, but feel quietly depleted underneath. And today's conversation is part of the Becoming series, The Return, where awareness isn't the finish line. It's where real life application begins. Today I'm joined by Wendy Kim. Wendy is a keynote speaker, international best-selling author of Beyond Blending In, and a leadership coach who helps people follow what she calls the pool, that quiet, persistent voice that knows exactly who you are and what you're here to do. She's worked with organizations like Amazon, Apple, ServiceNow, and the American Red Cross, helping leaders break through limiting beliefs, own their voice, and make the impact only they can make. But what really stood out to me is that for years Wendy did everything right, achieved at a high level delivered at a high level delivering results while quietly blending in and silencing her own voice to fit into those spaces that weren't really built for her. And when she stopped trying to fit and started following that pull, everything changed. Wendy, welcome to the show. I'm so glad you're here with us.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Thank you. So glad to be here, Pam.

Launching A Podcast About Intuition

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Before we dive in, I love to start here because it's so interesting to me to find out, you know, what your work looks like right now and what you're most excited about in this season.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

I am really excited that I'm going to be launching a podcast. So following in your footsteps, Pam. And I'm excited about the theme of the podcast, which is going to be the name of the podcast, is going to be Follow the Poll. And we're going to be focusing on cultivating your inner wisdom, listening to your intuition, and building self-trust and self-confidence, not from external validation, but from listening to that, that inner voice.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

That we we trust what our bodies are trying to tell us and what our, you know, intuition is saying. So you've shared that for a long time about your intuition and trusting it. You were doing everything right once upon a time, it looks like achieving, showing up, delivering, but still holding back your voice. What did that actually look like in your day-to-day life? And was there a moment where you started to realize I'm not fully being myself here?

A Promotion And A Cruel Rumor

SPEAKER_00 3:40

Yeah. What comes to mind is I had been recently promoted in a tech company. I was a senior manager. I was the youngest, the only woman, woman of color in that position. And I had really worked hard to get to that point. And part of that was silencing my voice and making other people happy, uh, not making waves, that there were some cultural elements to that too. And but really I had wanted from a child from my childhood to actually be more like Oprah and to use my voice to make a difference in the world. But I had thought, oh, okay, I I can't do that. I can't be like Oprah. I'm I'm I'm different than her. I'm I'm not I'm not that kind of person. So let me do what people are telling me to do, which is okay, work hard in a company, and then you'll be successful, you'll you'll make money. And so that's what I did. And then one day my my colleague came into my office and he said, Wendy, do you know what people are saying about you? And I was thinking, how great of a job I'm doing that I got this promotion. And then he said, actually, people are saying that you must have slept with the big boss in order to get this position. And I mean, I I am still, but I was married at the time and a person of faith. And I I that was so contrary to anything, even within my world. And so for someone to say that was so shocking to me. But it was also a wake-up call to me that this is not never actually what I really wanted. This was never my dream. It was what uh had been what I thought was possible or what I should do. And that woke me up to my true purpose, which is to work with women and to to do coaching, to do speaking, and to inspire them to use their voice and to live into their potential.

unknown 6:20

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

And that's so important now. I mean, giving women a voice. Every corporate job I've ever had, I I can, I can pretty much predict what's going to happen. I'm very friendly, very outgoing, and I work my job like I own the company. I mean, I've always had an incredible work ethic. But for some reason, people feel threatened by that. Every single job, no matter what my position is, people like to make me look different than I am. And so I have struggled with that personally. It makes you almost want to dumb yourself down. Yeah. But I can so relate to that story. Was there ever a point in your life where you felt like you learned it was safer to stay quiet or hold back?

The Moment She Learned To Shrink

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Yeah, definitely. Uh there was a moment where, so I I grew up in my early childhood in Pittsburgh. And I I was always the only Asian kid in my school. Even in my community, I'd go years not seeing anyone who looked like me. And I, when I was 11, I moved to Hawaii to live with my mom and stepfather. And at the time I thought, okay, this is great. I'll I'll look like other people, I'll be accepted. But uh one day I was new to the school. I was in my sixth grade math class in Hawaii, and I was such a teacher's pet. And my teacher was asking all these questions, and at that time I was decent at math, and I was raising my hand and super excited to learn. And then I noticed as I looked around that no one else was raising their hand. And they were looking at me with their arms crossed, and they were giving me what in Hawaii we call stink eye.

unknown 8:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

And I'm thinking that is this is not good. So I leave class after it's done, and my classmate, she comes up to me and she says, Wendy, you're such a show-off. We all knew the answers, but we didn't raise our hand. And so in that moment, I decided I needed to silence my voice. That in order to be accepted in this culture, that I couldn't be self-expressed. I couldn't really exercise my voice. I needed to just put my head down and work hard and be quiet. And that's what I did for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Those patterns, all right? Those are patterns. And as young girls, we learn real early, don't we, what we must do to fit in.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

And it's so untrue and it's so sad because that's drilled into our head. I have to share this with you because I think you'll find interest in it. I I found I stumbled upon this research that was done. It was just a sh a video showing this one question uh that was asked to boys and girls of all different ages. And the boys were asked, Hey, how do you walk like a girl? And the boys would be like, Oh, prissy. But then they'd ask the same age girl, how do you walk like a girl? And they would do the same thing, uh, you know, imitate a prissy little f girly walk. And they're like, How do you throw a ball like a like a girl? And the boys would go, uh, you know, they'd be really weak about it. And the but the girls would do the same thing. We are taught early, you know, that we walk and throw like a girl. And that whoops, and that's a big, big insult insulting thing to say. And they know it is, but they accept it. So did you find that? Did that when you hold back like that, you know, what's the hardest part about changing it? Reversing it, undoing it.

Toxic Work Culture And Speaking Up

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yeah, so my my career was in video the video game industry. So tech is already like a super male-dominated space, but video gaming is actually more so. And this was this was before the Me Too movement. So the environments were really toxic. Uh one one example is that uh the one of the leaders would actually to to kind of show how he was an alpha, he would he had female names for each of the male co-workers who who worked for him. So there was there was a guy named Martin, and he called him Marsha. And there were constant comments about women and and how they look and and their appearance. And so it was in order to fit in early on, I would act as if I was one of the guys. So I would laugh along, and even talking about this now, it's I'm I'm like appalled looking back. And I I can have compassion for me as like a young woman in my 20s trying to make it in this career, right? So they would they would make comments. Sometimes they meet there were many men who would make comments about my appearance. And if I if there was a woman who might question something like that or push back, then they were one of those, the one of those girls, quote unquote. They they they weren't cool. They they didn't get it. And so that was that was very much the environment. And over time, uh, especially when I had my daughter, I realized, hey, this this is not okay. This is not okay for women to be treated like this. And so I would start to actually say things like, oh, why, why are you saying that? Or what do you mean by that? And and actually push back. But it it took practice because I I was worried I was gonna get fired, or I was worried somehow it would impact my my job, my my bonuses, things like that.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Well, and I mean it's human nature to want to to belong. You don't want to risk not fitting in, not belonging, not connecting, because that's what we're wired to do. But unfortunately, in that type of environment, a lot of us have been there, and I understand so well. I'm at I've worked in an IT environment too, and you're right. It is so much like that. And you don't say anything, but sometimes they say silence is just as bad as you know being part of it. But I just didn't have the confidence. So can you talk to me about I think this is a good time for us to talk about the

What “The Pull” Really Means

SPEAKER_01 14:18

pool. What do you what is the pull?

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Yeah, following the pull is listening to your your gut and what it's telling you, and listening to what you really want versus what your your brain might tell you is is the responsible thing, is is the logical thing or or the thing that you should do. So for example, for me, what what it what when I was in that environment, so after that incident happened, I thought to myself, I actually want to start a business and I want to do coaching, I want to do speaking. And so that's what my gut was pulling me toward. But my head was saying, Wendy, you don't know how to do that. Wendy, there aren't people who look like you who are doing this, so that's not even possible. Uh Wendy, that's that's not responsible. You're you're a mom, you're you you make good money, you, you've worked so hard. Why would you throw that away? So my mind was got it started spinning out and was trying to protect me. And then what would talk me out of actually following my gut. But then what would happen is it would it would show up again. It would, I could feel this pull almost in my soul that was saying, you need to do this, Wendy. You need to to follow this this intuition, this dream of yours. And then my head would be like, no, no. But what I did was I started to listen to my gut. And so I would check in and and actually quiet the noise in my head and listen to my heart, listen to my gut, and it would say it would just say the first thing it said was coaching. So I started doing, I was like, I'm not really sure what coaching is. I started researching coaching. And then the next thing it said is talk to other people who are entrepreneurs, other female entrepreneurs. And so it wouldn't, like my head wanted the full-on three-year plan, step-by-step, the the certainty, right? The control. But my gut would just give me a baby step. And so every time so I I would follow those baby steps till eventually I was able to leave my corporate job. I was able to create a successful six-figure coaching business and speak to companies like Amazon, Apple, and but it wasn't all figured out and mapped out from the beginning. It was me following the pull step by step.

SPEAKER_01 17:44

I love that so much. It relates it's a lot like I don't know what your faith is, but I I am a Christian, but I always refer to my pull as a strand, just one little strand of God that it's my gift. Whatever that gift is, it's going to keep showing itself. It's going to keep trying to get your attention. And they say you go down a lot of wrong roads, but those struggles, those lessons that we learn are preparing us, making us stronger at our strand. And I just see that so much in what's happening. You're being called and literally led to do what you're doing now. And j and I have taken a similar path. I I didn't know how to speak. I did I I'm not even a trained, educated writer. I just knew that I had a story that I thought might help people. If you don't listen to your gut to that pull, then you're never going to feel that um satisfaction, that contentment. And that is what I started delay the bench for. It's not just for food, it's for women that overwork, over please, do everything in excess because they're either searching, they have no clue who they are, because they're just doing everything they're supposed to do, and they forget to really listen to that pull.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

Yeah. That's that's spot on. Uh as women, we are conditioned to be responsible, to, to serve others. And especially for me coming from my culture, coming from an immigrant background, it I was never asked, what what do you want, Wendy? It was it that would have been so indulgent. And so I we're we're not trained to learn how to ask ourselves, what do we want? What what is our gut telling us? But there's a big cost to that, the cost of not being in alignment, not feeling fulfilled. And I believe the cost is success too, because if you're not doing something that you truly want to be doing, then you're actually limiting your success because I believe that you are going to be more successful if you're doing something that you are really want to be doing.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

Well, and you have to trust that voice inside of you. It's always been there. It's just either A, you don't think you're worthy of what the pool is what the pool is telling you to do, your calling, or what you're being led to do, that would give you pure joy and and fulfill your passions. If the voice is always there, even in the years when we're trying to blend in and you haven't fully trusted yet, how do you how do you tell someone that has felt it but they they don't trust it? How do you help them see it and trust it?

SPEAKER_00 21:13

Yeah.

Practicing Self-Trust In Micro Moments

SPEAKER_00 21:14

So the the voice in your head, that's what we've cultivated our entire lives. Yeah. So you shouldn't do that. You should do this. You and it and it's always coming from uh what you should be doing versus what you want to be doing. So that voice is always gonna be, especially as you're learning to listen to your gut, that voice in your head is gonna be super loud. So uh an an example I can give you uh recently, and it doesn't have to be following the pull just in. Big life decisions. In fact, I would advise that you start off with smaller micro moments. So for instance, I was, I have two teenagers. Uh, that that is probably my biggest accomplishment in my life is still being here. So my my daughter, I can't remember exactly what she was saying, but it was something she she was being a teenager and being a bit sassy, and how it it was occurring to me like she was being ungrateful and not respectful. And I remember thinking, gosh, like I I should have raised her better. Like there's the should I should have raised her better. Uh, if I were a better mom, she would not be talking to me like this. And she shouldn't be talking to me like this. This is this is rude. This is disrespectful. And so that was the voice in my head going off. And then I I quieted that voice, set that aside, and I got still, and and I actually even like to put my hand maybe on my heart or or on my my stomach, and I'll quiet that voice in my head and I'll go, what what do you want? Like I'll ask my gut, what do you want? or or what what's the next right step? And in that moment, it said, be curious. And so I just go over to my daughter and I'm like, How how how are you doing today? How's it going? And that was a complete disruption of the pattern. Because normally I'd go in there and be like, Why are you talking to me like this? You shouldn't be talking to me like this. You're being rude. Like, stop. And and then it things would have escalated. But in this case, I followed the poll and we completely shifted the conversation. We actually I actually was able to connect with her.

unknown 24:22

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

So it's practicing in those micro moments, listening to your gut and building up that muscle of that voice so that you actually can learn to not just listen to this voice in your head that that's gonna spiral and spin and overthink and overanalyze, but truly what what is the right next step in that moment?

SPEAKER_01 24:51

I really love that. I can relate to that too. Um so there's probably been many, many times when you did not, you know, listen to the your intuition, your your pool, and you visited with some of those memories with us, but like this with your daughter, you know, moving forward, choosing it in real time can be challenging. And we teach the pause, just taking a moment, a few seconds to let your brain come back online, the frontal part of your brain, your thinking part of your brain, because the lower brain is always in charge, trying to just tell you something temporary to do to get you through. But what does it look like to follow it? I mean, like how does it feel when when you follow the pull and it works out? But it is uncomfortable. So, I mean, how how does it feel when you do it anyway?

SPEAKER_00 25:52

Yeah, so I find that telling myself to just stop in the moment is not very effective because usually I'm escalated and upset. So what I'll do is I'll I'll literally in my head go follow the poll. And I practice that. So when I when I say follow the poll, I'll actually ask, okay, what what do you need? Like what do you need? What do you want? And I'll I'll ask my my intuition that. So what that looks like is I'm thinking I'm trying to think of a specific example where um, like obviously I shared about my daughter. Uh even launching this podcast so that I'm going to be launching, I had a podcast uh several years ago, and it didn't really turn out the way that I wanted it to. A big part of it is I was doing it on my own. I couldn't really keep up with it on my own. And so even in business decisions, like I I was asking myself, okay, this is this is going to be a big investment. I'm working with this team, but they also know what they're doing, whereas I did not have a clue. And so I checked in and and I asked my intuition, and I was like, is this the night right the next right step to work with this team? And my gut said yes. And I I'm now I'm able to just set aside all the chatter and just move forward and focus my energy. So really, we all have an inner wisdom. It's just a matter of learning to trust that and to cultivate that.

Fear Vs Intuition And The “Should” Test

SPEAKER_01 27:55

Yeah, because a lot of times we may have this pull, this intuition, and we want to act on it, but fear gets in the way. So, how do you help people distinguish between fear and intuition?

SPEAKER_00 28:13

That is such a great question because sometimes in the beginning, well, I would say all the time, pretty much, because we've been conditioned to listen to our our brain, right? Our mind. Yeah. So I'll I'll do this with clients, for instance, and I'll ask, okay, what does your gut tell you? Uh my gut is telling me that I should do the responsible thing and the logical thing, and I I'm feeling guilty, and I should, and I'm like, okay, that's that's not your intuition. Okay. That's your mind taking over, and you're just not used to to listening to your gut. So you're just going back in your head and in the spiral of overthinking that we've we've all been conditioned to do, right? Yeah. And so to your point, if generally speaking, if if it's coming from fear, if it's coming from scarcity, that's that's your your mind going into overdrive. Um, when you listened to your gut, uh, I I did this with my uh best friend yesterday. So yesterday was her birthday, and she had wanted to go to this spa together, and she was feeling guilty because she had celebrated all weekend with her uh with her family, with her friends, and almost like she didn't deserve to actually celebrate this day too on her birthday. And and she also had family visiting from out of town, so she was feeling really guilty. And so I I asked her to follow the poll. And she she said, Oh yeah, I should stay home and be with my family. And again, if you hear should, that's also a dead giveaway that that's your your head, because your your mind is gonna be like, you should do this, you should. So I I said, Okay, that's I don't think that's your gut. I don't think you're following the poll. That's okay. Really, like, what do you want to do? And she said, I want to go to the spa. And she was able to see that if she didn't go to the spa and she stayed out of guilt, then she would have felt resentful. And then she might have uh act behaved in a certain way toward her family, which would defeat the entire purpose, anyways, right? So she ended up going to the spa and then spending time with her family in the evening and she had a great time.

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Yes, I I like when everybody wins.

unknown 31:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Including myself. Exactly. If someone is listening right now and they f feel that pull, but they're used to overriding it, what's a small way they can begin to follow it without feeling like they have to change everything overnight?

Baby Steps Plus Boundaries That Stick

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Yeah. So I will ask my gut what is one baby step forward I could take? Or what is the next right step I could take? So it could be okay, maybe maybe you want to start a business, for instance, and and you're overwhelmed at how to do that. So a lot of times I've noticed when you when you ask your gut, okay, what is the next right step, it will actually tell you, it will actually tell you make that phone call. Call that person, maybe who's who's doing that thing. Um, do do some research. It will actually tell you what the next right step is so that you're getting into action and not feeling overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_01 32:36

I love that. And do you notice this? I I have noticed this over and over. You know, a lot of people wait to be motivated to do something, to listen to that pull and and make a step to in that direction. But unless you act first, I mean, I every time I do act first, the motivation happens after. And then I continue to make more small steps in that direction. But if you wait, like you said, if you pause, then you know, a lot of times you'll you'll miss the boat, so to speak. But there is a moment, and I love how you keep referring to the next right thing. We say that a lot too on this show. You know, the pause enables you to think about what the next right thing is. Because a lot of times we just, again, we just override it, right? Is that what you see a lot too?

SPEAKER_00 33:30

Yeah. Uh I find that people uh again like to talk themselves out of what they actually want. Because then they're worthy of it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, a hundred percent. They they also there's there's fear. Like I I have a a client, for instance, and she's always wanted to be an entrepreneur. And but she has like a very stable, successful job right now, and she's actually the the breadwinner in her in her family. She has kids and a and a partner, and her pull was to become an entrepreneur. And but for many years, she talked herself out of it. And and then we started coaching together and and she's taking the baby steps, and she now is an entrepreneur, she uh has clients, she's speaking, she's doing amazing work, but it's because she did follow the pull eventually. And and one of the first steps was actually even saying yes to coaching together. Wow. That was that was a big step for her and investing in herself and investing in the poll so that she didn't continue to talk herself out of her dream.

SPEAKER_01 35:08

A lot of times I myself and a lot of other people that I know, friends, family, we can be so spontaneous sometimes with our actions. And it may seem like a good idea at the time, you know, whatever if we think that we're being pulled in it's not intuition. Spontaneity and intuition intuition is is completely different. I mean, do you agree with that? Or how do you see, I mean, can we use our spontaneity to accomplish the pull successfully, or what would you recommend we do with that?

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Yeah, I find that reactions typically can come from fear. And so, however, when you actually follow the pull and drop into your your gut, it's very grounding. Yeah. This up here, your mind overthinking is a frenetic, anxious type of energy. But when when you listen to your gut, it's very grounding. So typically it's not gonna be reactive. Uh so uh one of the things that I encourage my clients to do is to say, so say there's an opportunity. Uh like I have I have a client who's got so many amazing opportunities, she doesn't even know what to do with them. She's and she's afraid of missing out by not saying yes to certain opportunities. But if she takes on too much, obviously she's not gonna fulfill on on what she really wants to. So I have a phrase called let me get back to you. And practicing be even if something seems like it's the most amazing opportunity in the world, you you would be dumb not to take this opportunity, right? Like practicing let me get back to you and allowing yourself in time and space to make sure that you're you're not just reacting out of fear, out of scarcity, but truly that it is in alignment with what you want.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

I can relate to that. And and it really helps. Do you find this to be so as well, to be surrounded by people or even a coach in this instance that can say, let me get back to you, someone that knows you as well as you know yourself. Like for me, I know I'm gonna give it 120%, whatever I agree to. And if I just keep taking on all these great opportunities that are great opportunities. And a lot of times you get excited and you just want to go for it and do it. But if you have someone in your life that can hold you accountable accountable and remind you, uh, do you really have time to add another 120% effort here? A lot of times that's what a coach can do for you, and just saying, let me get back to you, because it is exciting and you do want to do it, but a lot of times it's not in your best interest.

SPEAKER_00 38:28

Exactly. And that's where in my coaching, we we work on your 10-year vision, we're working on your one-year vision, your three-year vision, and having that in mind so that when you're looking at opportunities, really seeing if they're in alignment for you versus just something that that sounds cool, which I I have ADHD. In that moment, it it it's, I mean, we've all been there, right? Where we we said yes to something, and in the moment we thought, okay, this sounds amazing. And then two weeks later we're going, why did I say yes to this? This doesn't make sense, and it's overwhelming, it's a burden. Then then you're feeling guilty because you said yes, but really this this was never in true alignment.

SPEAKER_01 39:24

Yeah, man. Saying yes to everything will burn you out. And I also wanted to to back up a little bit and talk about how amazing the pool is because it allows you to be proactive instead of reactive instead of listening to getting in your head and and just reacting. I love that. I love how you mentioned that because we try to be, we need to be proactive in everything that we do, even what comes natural to us. Yeah, 100%.

Where To Find Wendy And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_01 39:56

Well, this has been amazing, and I don't even want to stop. You'll find with your podcast, the hardest thing to do is when you're speaking to someone amazing, it's so hard to just stop asking the questions. No one wants to listen to like a five-hour-long podcast. I can literally do that with you. But anyway, this has been such a meaningful conversation, and I think that my listeners are going to get a lot out of it. Can you tell us how to find you and your work?

SPEAKER_00 40:25

And absolutely. So I'm on LinkedIn as uh Wendy Kim, and I'm also on Instagram. My handle is Beyond Blending In. And also that's my website, and all of my contact information is there beyond at beyondblendingin.com.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

Perfect. And I'll be sure and put those in the show notes, everybody. So don't freak out if you can't write it down right now and you're driving. Don't do that. I think so many people learned at some point, whether it was in a room, a workplace, or a relationship, that it's safer to stay quiet than to fully be themselves. And what you've shared today, it's such a powerful reminder that the voice they've been holding back never actually went away. It's still there. And I know in my becoming series, The Return, which you will be part of, by the way, this episode, it's perfect for that because it's about how to apply what we're learning. Because you'll notice a lot of people talk the talk, but there's no solutions. It's like, okay, this is wonderful. I hear you, but how can I apply it to my life? What do I need to do specifically? What do I need to do? And so it's not about becoming someone new. It's about coming back to that voice and trusting it, even when it feels uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 41:57

Yeah. Follow the poll is really shorthand for being able to trust your inner wisdom, inner guidance. And also I'll find the pull will lead you to be able to express that too. And because when you're you're in alignment, uh the more you're doing that, the more you're building that muscle, the more you are able to actually express your voice as well. And so, yeah, self-expression is is a huge part of my coaching as well and and the work that I do. And the first step is really trusting that inner voice.

SPEAKER_01 42:46

Yep. Trusting the inner voice and quit giving your energy away to all the people that don't believe in it. Keep your energy from moving forward with your your inner voice, what you're being called to do. Thank you again for being here with us. If something in this conversation stood out to you, don't just move on from it. That moment where you felt something shift, that's the pause. And what you do next matters, the next best thing. If you want to go deeper into this work, I do share more inside my weekly newsletters. There's inside the pause and behind the mic, where we take conversations just like this and feature our wonderful guests and help you apply them in your real life. You can find those links in the show notes. Wendy, you are amazing. And thank you for sharing your message with us today. It matters more than you know.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Thank you for having me here. It was great being with you, Pam.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Yes, thank you. Thank you. I enjoyed it so much and I learned a lot, so thanks for that. And as always, pause, choose, build momentum, and finish stronger than you started. See y'all next week.